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Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Aug 05, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

so not a good day like planned. well, the day was good. binged at dinner ONLY. dinner calories and dessert calories = 4700!!! crazy a bit. like i said to grumpy, i'll have diabetes in no time at this rate. need to stop! once again, i binged on food i didn't buy - my parents did. stupid!

so, now i've eaten enough in the past 7 days to gain four lbs. I'm going to Hershey Park and i'll probably act all religious about healthy eating while there bc this and my other binges will be on the back of my mind which isn't too smart. But I sure don't want to gain any more lbs back.

around 5800 at most hopefully calories. was pretty balanced and then chose to have a TWO tasty ice cream flying saucer for dessert, half a chocolate bar, cookies, two huge pizza slices, cereal, nuts, granola bars tasty. otherwise, cals would have been 1600.

2 mi walk during work. Will walk at least one hour tonight.

little tired. need to go to bed a little earlier.

goodnight all, thanks for your wonderful comments.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

grumpy on 08/05/2008:
you meant 1800 right? have a good night!

grumpy on 08/05/2008:
I am sorry to hear. But I really think that you have to make a plan not to be alone without anything to do at night and then binge, just until you get back into the swing of things. Do you have any friend that you can tell this to? Maybe you can stay in their house a couple of nights, or plan fun activities together? Or maybe something you have to do with your hands, like a puzzle, or knitting? I don't know, just trying to brainstorm here... xo

maria777 on 08/06/2008:
It is soooooo easy to have the 'right' amount of calories and then overeat and throw in the towel, isn't it? I do it, too! I do SOOOOOO good during the day and then at night I get real hungry and if I give in, usually I just go ahead and eat what I want once I get started......

Good on your exercise!

loveray on 08/06/2008:
hi HOP. although i havent fully acted on any binges per se, i feel exactly like you ate! do you think you are having fall-out from not hearing from that guy? i know this is stupid, but i often think: why do we punish ourselves for the lack of others attention? make yourself as strong and healthy as possible. i am having a really rough time with sugar recently- it is very bizarre because i never eat it! maybe thats the problem- once i get started i never stop. please, lets do this together, ok? xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Aug 04, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

around 1500. primarily healthy. good amounts of veggies. the starbuck's vivanno is great. i have a gift card but i may be a regular with it in the mornings.

walking 2 mi during work, 40 min bike ride, some weights.


Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

maria777 on 08/04/2008:
YAyyy on the walking 2 mi and the bike ride and work out with weights!!!

grumpy on 08/04/2008:
YAY!!! Great day for you too! I am so proud of you and happy you broke that cycle! I did good, yes, but I didn't work out! Argh!!! :P

grumpy on 08/04/2008:
I did too in a way, i feel like this week I have been in control, even though I haven't lost any more yet, i lost what i was up and i feel like i am about to lose (or to see the loss on the scale) anytime now. Fingers crossed! J's bday and the LA trip are coming up and they're both great events to put on a preliminary goal!

weightlossyoyo on 08/04/2008:
You had an extrmely great day! Way to go!

thinnside40 on 08/04/2008:
You did better @ walking than I did today, but I have hardly sat down...Been burning calories one way or another I guess...Great Day H_O_P!

selina on 08/05/2008:
Great calories and walking! Must try Vivanno myself. Have a great day HOP!

mcwoo40 on 08/05/2008:
Hiya,a good day for you HOP,keep it up,Julie

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Aug 03, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

dinner: a sugary but somewhat balanced Vivanno from Starbucks. I have a giftcard so i really wanted to try it. a salad with veggie burger would not have done it for me. i needed something with more carbs after having so many earlier today. and since i did walk 6.5 miles, i figured i should replenish with some carbs.

total calories today: 4150. ouch!

just to write it, extra calories consumed this week add up to 9,750 calories. this is after i subtracted 2,000 calories from my high calorie days, no less! that amount of calories = 2.8 lbs. almost 3 lbs. so, i would say after bloating, i probably weigh around 126 lbs. i'll never reach the teens let alone even 120 at this rate. i'm actually not upset since i did this to myself. i think part of being an adult is taking responsibility for one's actions. i am ready to try to change, again.


couldn't follow through...binged. food is my comfort and lately i haven't been able to escape it. i guess i lost a couple of lbs and decided it was ok to go and inhale! haha.

so far: 1770 cal binge...total calories for today plus lots of dried fruit: total now: 3840.


although memories that I did in fact eat approx. 6300 calories remain, today I'm starting fresh. Like, what can I do anyway!? it's done, over.

the plans today include a bike ride to get the sunday newspapers and another bike ride to yoga and a wax appt. i wish i could pretend i don't live on LI where we drive everywhere and that I live in a rural community where things are much farther but people WALK far to get even to the bus stop. I enjoy using errands as a way to get exercise in. so i will be busy enough i suppose. I'm also going to try to get a 5-6 mile walk in.

Need to do laundry tonight. I have around 2 loads, hopefully not more. haha, all you mothers are probably jealous i only have two loads.

8:30am breakfast: cereal, 3 cups almond milk: 245.

12 snack: coconut water 70

1:00 lunch: beans, tofu, tomato, peach or some other fruit. 300, 2 pieces bread 220, ben and jerry's 240, 2 ice cream sandwiches: 450 lunch total: 1110

6:30-7: dinner: salad, 2 morningstar farms (probably this brand) veggie burgers on top, piece of fruit. 350.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

WI3 on 08/03/2008:
Hooray for another day!!! Those morningstar farms products are very tasty! Have a wonderful day =) Thanks for your entry on my diary!

thinnside40 on 08/03/2008:
Hey~ Those Tootsie's in a sock drawer is too funny...Was she trying to keep her tootsie's warm? Those things are dangerous!.. I love them, but only the blue raspberry/raspberry & watermelon..Once those are gone, the rest could sit til they desinigrated......


Jen40 on 08/03/2008:
It's so cool to see you've begun anew today. You go girl!

Donkey on 08/03/2008:
Seriously, consider eating every 2-3 hours. That has been most helpful to me in avoiding binges.

grumpy on 08/03/2008:
This is though. I avoid having too much stuff in my house, just in case I am having a weak day and wanna over eat. So who buys all this food you binge on? The ice cream, the dried fruits, etc? If it's you, can't you avoid having it around? It doesn't solve the problem, but at least i think it may diminish it in the meantime. Hope monday is a new day for you and you can be the boss! xo

grumpy on 08/03/2008:
I hear you, if i had people buying stuff all the time around me I am not sure i could control myself when no one was looking! ew! but at least you seem to have a great attitude about it, beat yourself up all the time would just add to the problem!

As for me, I am a little unsure of the calories when I eat out. My brunch yesterday for example. I try to be good at counting, but who knows how much oil or whatever they really put on the foods. I am also trying to be thoughtful about my cholesterol, and eating eggs yesterday wasn't the best idea, or the gyro meat today, but it was one thing, which is not too bad. I really wanna get out of this limbo and start losing weight again! xo

maria777 on 08/04/2008:
Hey, you are not alone...I have regained (again) also!

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Aug 02, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

trust me, you don't even wanna know.

MAJOR binge. didn't stick to menu. 1200 cal is not enough and my sugar levels are all over the place!

total calories: 6300 today! i told you it wasn't good.

not a good day.

bike ride/hot yoga/walk with grandma. feeling gross but not gross enough to stop eating as you can see.

tired. looking to do better in the near future.

whenever i attempt to "fix" a binge in the days after, i just end up binging again. so, tomorrow is fresh and it really doesn't matter than i binged 3 out of the past 4 days!? blah. back to 125, at least.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/02/2008:
Now you have the right idea. You can't "fix" a binge. Just get back to a realistic, healthy program. It will even itself out in the end, as long as you take CARE of yourself. Don't abuse yourself with food! I think you get enough of it from your mom and from the stress in life.

WI3 on 08/02/2008:
I agree with you and Donkey...you can't fix a binge, just plow on the next day! Take care and have a wonderful evening!

thinnside40 on 08/02/2008:
I felt so icky after eating supper (ate too much good stuff), but went for a walk of 5 miles with the family...Felt a bit better, but still not feeling great....Maybe some sleep is in order.... Better tomorrow H_O_P!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Aug 01, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

i've been stuck maintaining 123-125 for weeks now.

7am Saturday entry: got a good amount of sleep because i went to bed early.

breakfast: kiwi, cereal with almond milk, and then 2 more glasses of almond milk. no real protein, but some healthy fat. calories: 330

menu plan for remainder of the day:

snack: cup light milk and cup watermelon (ran out of yogurt) 100 (yup!)

lunch: chopped tomato,tofu,chick peas: 240

snack: decaf coffee and skim with NO sugars or artificial sugars,plum 80.

dinner: salad (lettuce/cucumber) with beans, dressing. 200.

out for coffee: the new starbucks Vivanno!!! :) i'll get the banana chocolate one of course. around 300 cal.

total: really 1250?! wow. so if i plan my meals beforehand, like i used to a long time ago, this is what happens. maybe i should do this more often. NO MORE unhealthy bars at work in August. I've been relying TOO MUCH on them. back to healthy foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. with healthy snacks in between.


- really don't want to go to yoga right now. I'd rather get cardio in and go to yoga tomorrow. I'm going to try that and will concentrate so that binge symtoms don't take over.

...now it's been several minutes and i do think i will be going to yoga! i'll see depending on the weather. plus, my ankle is a little sore so i don't know how much cardio will be too much on it.


Friday entry:

eating was interesting today. binged in evening but i have to say i don't care about it.

calories up to dinner: 1320.

dinner cal: 1620...and then some peanut butter remnants from jar. 200. and another yogurt 170 and two granola bars: 280.

total today: 3600

exercise: 2 mi during work. kinda tired and not in the mood to exercise any more for today.

plan for upcoming days, weeks, years: put bad days aside and remember that food is food! get more intrigued by exercise and less by the calming effect of food.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

grumpy on 08/01/2008:
That's a good plan. Sorry to hear about your mom yesterday. Hope tomorrow is a good day. xo.

WI3 on 08/01/2008:
I agree food is food! Have a great evening!

thinnside40 on 08/01/2008:
LOOK OUT ~ It's coming, I can feel it and my attitude stinks!

Have a better weekend!

selina on 08/02/2008:
hi HOP! I hope you can stick to the menu for today, it looks really good! And if you do stick to it for a few days, you'll get moving on from the maintaining stage... I'm sure.

I hope you'll have a SOUPer day, too. (smiles!!!) I like them cold, as well. And you can make them really low in calories! Hugs to you!

selina on 08/02/2008:
Hey, I was thinking about you and your mom's relationship - it's just normal and natural for two people of different generations to have conflicts like you do. To expect a perfect and harmonious relantionship at all times with one's mother (or daughter, for that matter) is unreasonable. Having conflicts is part of growing up (for children and parents, too.) In fact, in my opinion, it would very strange, if not downright weird, if you didn't have any conflicts whatsoever with your mom. It's good that you vent your frustations here because it is good for you and your health. And saves money with the analysts, too hehehe. But, don't forget to give your mom a hug once in a while - count until ten when you hug her and don't let go before that. This will not solve your problems but it will give you 10 seconds of closeness (at least, literaly) Although we think that our moms are so awlful and all, there is always at least a smidgeon of goodness in there, trust me on this. I hope you have a great day!

Jen40 on 08/02/2008:
I agree, Food is Food, but books are so much more thrilling. *I corrected a previous spelling error, I'm such a perfectionist, lol*

thinnside40 on 08/02/2008:
Here's to a good Saturday!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jul 31, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

I can officially say i have very little respect for my mom. sorry i have to write this but i have tried to speak with her and she is as distant as usual. whatever. she is the loser because i see how she has broken all ties to her own family - mom,dad,brother. so whatever. let her break ties with me too. who gives a crap. i don't get any good advice or any advice from her anyway. all she does it put me down and say negative things. sorry i have to write this but she is so f---ing stupid.

late edit: so basically had a cruddy conversation with him on the phone. it was short, maybe 5 min max. we talked and he said he already had plans fri night bc that is what i suggested. so i said, if you are interested, feel free to give me a call. so it pretty much ended like that. all in all, he was busy but that's life. it doesn't mean he's not interested and it was only freakin 2 dates anyway so maybe i shouldn't even give it any more thoughts. which i'm not!

anyways, i'm going away next week from thurs-sat with friends to go hiking and do some other fun things. i'm looking foward to it and thank god i said yes to go with them because i KNOW it'll be a great time!


exercise: 5 mi throughout day.

slightly bingy at times.

dinner: larger than expected but not unhealthy. 500 cal.

total calories: 1600 (higher than a goal of 1300 but ok after a very high calorie day like yesterday.)

so i emailed that guy last night saying i would call him tonight. i wonder exactly what he thinks about that!

going to call him in about one hour. need to relax a bit first.

slept better last night,too.

goodnight all!

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

Beth201P on 07/31/2008:
Glad to hear that you got some better sleep. Have a great Friday.

Donkey on 07/31/2008:
If you read this before you call (trying to kill time)... Take a few deep breaths. Maybe practice what you're going to say. Treat it very casually and coolly. You are Cool and thus you must project that image of Cool. (Image is everything.) Then jump right in.

Good luck!!!!!!!!! I hate making phone calls of ANY sort, so I can only imagine. But a girl's gotta take a first step sooner or later.

grumpy on 07/31/2008:
Yea, it's good that you did your part, called, showed interest, left the ball on his court. Now go and do your stuff and if he calls in the meantime, great. If not, you will have a lot of fun next week! xoxo

WI3 on 07/31/2008:
Sorry to hear things are rough with your mom, that has to hurt :( But, good for you for standing up for yourself. Thank goodness you are geting some sleep!

thinnside40 on 07/31/2008:
I am sorry to hear of your troubles......Look forward to your time away and enjoy every minute with those who do care.....

selina on 07/31/2008:
Hi HOP! It's tough to go through what you've been going through with your dates - i remember this is what i hated the most when i was on the dating scene at your age - the feeling of rejection when things did not work out. however, as we all kow by now, this is unavoidable and should not be taken too personally - well, but then how can we not take personally when it couldn't be more personal than this. what i'm saying is that even though it hurts at times, dating is exactly for the purpose of learning about each other and the sooner we find out he/she is not the best partner for us, the better. And I see you are so mature about it for seeing it that way and also that it doesn't mean he is not interested, after all. it could be just about anything, so you don't even try to read too much into this because you don't know what he is going through or thinking.

Enjoy your time with friedns and don't forget to keep checking out those cute/available guys out there - there are so many!

PS. Sorry about your mom...

loveray on 08/01/2008:
whats up with mom? why do you feel so unloved? i know the feeling myself: i feel as though my mother has abandoned me and shunned me my whole life. although this may not be totally reality, i feel that she has never grown up enough to be a woman to show me the way, rather than a child who never grew up- trying to compete with me. i have resolved myself to detaching with love, and finding other women who come into my life to be a mentor, guide and friend. i love you! xoxo

Donkey on 08/01/2008:
I've been waiting for a new entry, but I'll just reply here, because otherwise I'll probably forget. LOL, don't ever get old...

I know where you're coming from with your mom. BTDT, same thing here. The very best thing that happened for my relationship with my mom is that I moved out and we put some physical and mental distance between us. I could become my own person without being influenced by her opinions, thoughts, choices, etc. It's part of becoming a full-fledged adult, I think, to come into your own person, and not what is expected of you or what you expect from your parental model.

Think about it... Once you are on your own, things will be much improved for you.

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jul 30, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

oooopsie. dinner = full blown binge. chocolate, donuts, cookies, etc.

calories for dinner: 2500.

total for today: 3700. good one, Jackie.

nothing i can do now.

perhaps a small walk just to help the food settle? not yet though.

exercise: 2 mi during work.

the biggest reason why i binged today is because nobody was home and it was easy to do that. bad reason, i know.

work was good. my coworker was absent but i felt good doing her/my work. everyone was pretty friendly today. all's good, except the eating part.

perhaps TOM is coming? i will look to eat better tomorrow and the days to come, obviously.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

grumpy on 07/30/2008:
i am sorry about that! the walk will help, so try and go for one. also, make a list of things you can do when you're home alone or in any situation that you would binge. may not help, but who knows?

grumpy on 07/30/2008:
oh, and waiting for the guy to call is the worse! if that's affecting you, and he's always the one doing the calling, you can call him too. as long as you're not the only one calling, of course. but i always try to make it 50/50.

grumpy on 07/30/2008:
you know, everyone is different. i think if he has been doing all the calling so far, you should too. even to let him know you are interested. you won't sound desperate because you aren't desperate. has he been the one to come up with the date plans so far? if he is, what you could do is find something interesting to do that you'd think he'd also enjoy (as simple as 'try out this new coffee shop' or something else) and invite him to do it. like i said, as long as you're not always calling and suffocating him (which i am sure you won't), it's fine to call or email when you want to and suggest things, or just to chat sometimes. actually most [smart] guys would like that best than a girl that is always waiting on him to call when he decides to and to plan everything. what do you think?

WI3 on 07/30/2008:
Yes, simple carbs to keep the mood elevated...I know that very well! I hope you were able to get to yoga as I know that is very relaxing for you. Have a great night =) Don't worry..all is NOT lost!

Donkey on 07/30/2008:
I can always tell when TOM is coming because that day or the day before, it's a carb fest. Same thing with PMS. Damn....

Be pro-active and call/email the guy.

thinnside40 on 07/30/2008:
I got to thinking about that dreaded 3 letter abbreviation today...I have been irritable...SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... I thought about you....Ha Ha.... We were "on" same last time....That's why! {*;*}

Jen40 on 07/31/2008:
I SOOOOO want to binge on sweets and carbs right now. TOM is coming over soon, and frankly I don't want him here!!! Ever ever ever!!!!! grr.....

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jul 29, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

i would definitely say today was better than yesterday and hopefully tomorrow i will feel even better. i was tired at work. i did wake up throughout the night again because i'm anxious/thinking about this guy. lol. so this time i didn't look at the clock and i also tried to ignore my thoughts and not think about them in the middle of the night when i should be sleeping. it worked somewhat better than the other past couple nights.

bad eating lately...lot's of processed bars but i do try to get in a good amount of fruits/veggies.

total calories: about 1580. lots of almond milk both unsweetened chocolate and plain throughout the day. many fruits. dinner was about 550 calories.

exercise: 2 mi at work and a short 25 minute bike ride at home. i was too hungry to ride more once i reached my block the first time around my community!

so on sunday this guy asked if i wanted to go out during this week. i wonder when he will call??

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 07/29/2008:
It's just Tuesday.....RELAX!!!!! There are more days in this week than not.....(((((HUMMMMM))))) I am crossing my legs and channeling for you now.....HA HA! NOT!...I still can't cross my legs Indian style...

Good walking/bike riding....Keep it up!

loveray on 07/29/2008:
you are really hanging tough. relationships with men and in general make me batty! just try to breathe, hang in there and live your life to the fullest. do NOT be scared of your own capacity to be whole, wonderful and powerful: because you are. xoxo

Donkey on 07/29/2008:
How about dropping him an email? It's not like you have to sit around waiting for a man. You have a calendar to fill up too, you know.

WI3 on 07/29/2008:
So glad you had a better day! LOL I've had plenty of awake nights lately puzzling over a man, I feel you! Have a great day tomorrow as well!

selina on 07/30/2008:
Enjoy your dating and being anxious about your dating, and waking up in the middle of the night thinking of your date! Why not? All of it is part of the "dating/being young/living life fully" package! Have fun getting to know your dates, puzzling over them, enjoying their company, finding out what makes them what they are, feeling heartbroken at times, being thrilled when they call, anxious when they don't! There are so many wonderful people/men out there worth checking out! Have fun!

Jen40 on 07/30/2008:
I'm with Selina, lol!

Donkey on 07/30/2008:
Hey, Horn -- what was your lowest adult weight, like since being on Diet Diaries? Just curious...

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Jul 28, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

thank you for all of your tips, they mean an awful lot. :) i am once again falling behind in commenting on your diaries. tomorrow...

a little depressed today, didn't feel great. lack of sleep probably dampened my mood.

went for a nice 3 mi walk after work and then out to dinner. i'm feeling as fat and flabby as ever and just not happy with myself today.

i wish i were more confident and experienced with dating. i was talking with two of my friends at dinner and their dates seemed so much more involved and sophisticated than mine. i don't envy that, but i feel a bit insecure with myself right now.

i feel like i've been given everything and i just throw all of what i can become away. like i haven't reached any potential and never will. not sure why i feel this negative. i'm upset that i don't know enough or sometimes care enough to learn more about world events. and why i am so lazy.

ugh. feeling low.

1550 calories.

probably walked a total of 5 mi throughout the day.

hoping for a much better day tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

WI3 on 07/28/2008:
Horn...you get down on yourself every time you start actively dating again. And you say the same things about yourself. Stop measuring yourself against everyone else! If the guy didn't want to go out with you again, he wouldn't have called =) You beat yourself up far too much!

thinnside40 on 07/28/2008:
Not everybody is the same...Maybe you are just a easily pleased/laid back person in a relationship and enjoy different things than your friends do.....

5 miles is great AND make your day better tomorrow.....

Moody2 on 07/29/2008:
Yep what WI3 said..if the guy wasn't interested he wouldn't call you and want to see you again! Put the thoughts of what you consider "sophisticated or involved" away and simply ENJOY yourself!!! Relax and enjoy~~~~

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jul 27, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

Monday morning edit: i'm going to be tired today...well, hopefully not. i'll try not to think about it. does anyone else get dating anxiety??? i couldn't sleep well last night again! sheesh! i was tossing and turning between 4-6am! I bet guys hardly get like that!

calories yesterday worked out better than expected :). They were around 1775 despite my 1250 calorie breakfast.


late night edit: date went well! we went to a very relaxed dinner at panera bread which is fine by me. my sister teased me that it wasn't a dinner but a lunch restaurant. i can see both sides of the coin with that. didn't end up going to a bar after but a movie instead. i liked it...the one with angelina jolie - Wasted.

the night didn't really call for a kiss goodbye. it would be way too premature. he's a good guy and easy to talk to. we'll probably go out again this week. i enjoy doing active things like dinner and walking around. we'll see. we'd like to challenge each other to a game of ping pong except i don't think there are any places with ping pong tables around. haha. goodnight all.

are there any rules with dating like there should be a kiss by the third date? what do you all think? i know really it just depends on the two people so we'll see if we continue to click. we definitely get along well.

thank you for the good date wishes. :)


today has gone NOT as well as i would have liked. i'm not very upset over it, but my progress will also not be as fast because of conscious impulsive decisions in the morning.

i gave in and had around 1250 cal for breakfast. all because of my nerves for a date tonight. it's pouring, we were supposed to go for ices, but now we're going out to dinner. therefore, higher calories than just if i had ices. also, we will go to the bar after. i'll have a glass of healthy wine...beer is weird on a date for a girl...or maybe not. but i'll stick with the wine. i don't even like beer that much (and never more than a glass of wine bc i don't drink often lol).

snack: coconut juice 60

snack: 2 small plums, cereal, milk (i cannot starve myself before a date and be sick and tired that would be terrible!) so this is pretty low cal enough. and i did hot yoga so i need something after!

dinner: panera bread (probably a salad/soup combo or something)

after dinner:wine

calories before dinner: 1550. good, but i didn't have dinner yet. although, calories for today should end up being much above 2200. so that's what i'll say even before dinner. not terrible, but i will admit i binged this morning and that is unfortunate. oh well, moving on.

as for tomorrow, i'm going out to eat with friends to a place called Ben's Deli. it's a kosher jewish restaurant. VERY good food, usually high in calories. however, soup is good there and i LOVE LOVE LOVE good half sour jewish pickles. although they're high in salt, i always give in. I will have MANY of them. when i say MANY i mean about at least 5-10 pickles with dinner. i'll be full and satisfied and bloated for awhile. haha. craziness.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 07/27/2008:
I love pickles too!.....Have to be very careful when I open a jar.....

Have fun on your date....

TOmama on 07/27/2008:
You know they say that having a big breakfast gets your metabolism going, so it's not neccessarily a bad thing, just make low calorie choices for the rest of the day. AT leats pickles are low cal, you can always drink extra water to get rid of the sodium :)

grumpy on 07/27/2008:
i didn't realize you had a date tonight.. nice! you went to hot yoga, just there you burned at least 400-500 calories. So it's not that bad, the calories themselves. What's more concerning is why you binge and get anxious in these situations and maybe come up with a list of things you could do instead? A good thing for me when I am anxious is to write my feelings. Sometimes i write them in form of a letter i will never send, or on DD, or on a notebook. But you may find other things that work for you, a long bath, a walk, call a loved one, etc.

I hope you have fun on your date. And by the way, you can have anything you want on your date. A beer is fine, a glass of cranberry juice is fine too. Up to you. Just be yourself, always. xoxo

loveray on 07/27/2008:
i cannot wait to hear about this date!! looking forward to the aftermath. also, please get some good matzoh ball soup and eat a lot of those pickles for me! my mommy used to make the BEST mb soup ever!!

weightlossyoyo on 07/27/2008:
Hope the date goes well!

thinnside40 on 07/27/2008:
Whenever it feels natural...No time frame!

lafemme_loca on 07/28/2008:
The date sounds good. Don't rush. All is good. :-) Have a great night and morning.

loveray on 07/28/2008:
sounds like all is well in dating land: i know how hard it can be, but do your best to "just relax." consider: things will be happening the same way if you stress about them or not!! so, you could be totally cool and just let things happen and you might find your eating patterns to clear up as well. to answer your question, when i relate most of my binge patterns, they are either related to a close family conflict or an issue with a male: conscious or subconscious, it really seems to affect me. i have to do a really definitive job of opening up those emotional stores so that this does not happen. something that helped in the past was upon coming home, making myself meditate for 10 minutes in my room rather than just going about the house. there is something about clearing the mind that allows you to be more mindful about choices during the day, regarding food and all else for that matter! the kissing thing: if you want to kiss him, kiss him!! you only have one life to life honey- do it up!! love you.

Jen40 on 07/28/2008:
Glad the date went well!

grumpy on 07/28/2008:
I am glad the date went well and you like this guy. Movie sounds good too. I don't really believe in any rules for dating, even though some people do. I think common sense works, which means being yourself and respecting the other person's timing too. As for the kiss... there's no rule either, and some situations are not good for a kiss, but it's my experience that if it takes too long you may get into this limbo when you're not friends but you're not more than that either. maybe it's just me, but i tend to get into that kinds of situations. So just enjoy it and go with the flow. And i don't have date anxiety, I have anxiety when i don't have dates. hahahaha. Actually i mean it, with J for example, i was anxious for the dates, as in looking forward to it but never in a bad way, now when i don't know when i'll see him or what's going on, ewwww, than it hits me. xoxo

Donkey on 07/28/2008:
I don't think there's a rule about when to kiss, except don't do anything that YOU don't want to do. If you want to kiss, then kiss. But don't do it because you think you're supposed to or it's "expected" of you.

Incidently, I gave my Husband a killer liplock (well, ok, maybe lips not so locked) on our first date, which essentially was just a long drive home. :-)

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