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Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Nov 17, 2007

Weight: 125.0

Sunday entry:

breakfast was slightly larger than expected. When i woke up, i could feel the nasty effects of all the sugar and sodium. My body is swollen and shakey. after eating it got better.

i had 380 cal. (a crab cake that i cooked last night with the burgers - yes it is a processed food but i wanted to use them since they've been in my freezer for at least 6 months and they were expensive, with pumpkin, a tomato, and an additional chicken burger that i had. I can say I'm definitely satisfied now.

have a good day all.

Saturday Entry:

4350 cals.

tomorrow i'm going to NJ to see a friend who lives in that state. we're gonna meet for lunch and a movie. of course, meeting for lunch has me all antsy....because i DON'T like going out to eat.

interestingly, i was looking online at the requirements to by a NY police officer and I actually weigh too much!!!! yeah! that's right! for my height, 124/125 or whatever it is that I weight now, is too much! I'm all the way at the high end! worse, my weight is fat, not muscle! I wouldn't become a cop anyway, but I'm sad that my weight has changed so drastically.

i miss my days of childhood intuition eating. i stopped when satisfied and i didn't binge.

The only way i know how to loose weight is to diet. and everytime i'm successful, i ruin my progress with a couple binges. If only i can be satisfied without stuffing myself. I have got to eat less volume, then i would have such an easy time controlling calories. now, i eat the right foods, usually! but i eat like 3 servings at a time.

I just need to curb my appetite. I need to eat less. I should find eating 1200 cals a day easy, considering all the low cal food i eat. this is plain pathetic, i tell ya.

alright, i do have a plan, although making one after a binge usually doesn't ever work. no processed meals. more meat and veggies. I am going to eat more high quality proteins (chicken/turkey burgers, fish, and meat like hamburgers (I know the exact calorie info of a burger) I think the addition of meat will help me with the binging. I think the extra iron will be helpful.

haha, no veggie burgers! yes, i've said it. until i loose 15 pounds i'm going to lay off all processed meals and veggie burgers. that way, i'll be having much less sodium and the "quick" weight loss at the beginning will keep me motivated till the end of this 15 pound weight loss journey. Now, I have to plan my goals...

truth is, by the end of January, I should be able to weigh 110 without any drastic measures.

I need to reapply fitness to my routine as I am getting lazy with evening workouts. I will also commit myself further to the gym.

i'm going to cook chicken and turkey burgers to have for the week and head off to the gym...

btw, i didn't get anything done today. not one thing.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

fritters on 11/17/2007:
A lot of us seem to be really struggling. I hope that your 'plan' works for you.


mcwoo40 on 11/18/2007:
Hi,best of luck in your new regime.I need to start too,my body is telling me now,with the aching that's all over my body,and the heartburn it's no good.Let's spur each other on.Have a great day with your friend,bye 4 now,Julie


mylifechanges on 11/18/2007:
i agree with fritters, i don't know what it is about this season, but we all seem to be struggling. Let's stick together, you can do this HoP! Oh, and I'm AMAZED that your current weight is too heavy for the NYPD. Even at 5'2, 125 doesn't seem too heavy to me. What is their target weight? Just curious!

I hope today is great for you! Remember, one day at a time...



Horn_of_plenty - Friday Nov 16, 2007

Weight: 124.0

Sat morning: binge. (apple oatmeal, yogurts, this heavy cranberry bread, regular bread, potato chips, peanut butter, nachos) 2020 cal. + more binging on 1/2 a pumpkin pie and some pecan pie (talk about calories!) 880 calories right there.

total for one hour on morning: 2900...3040...3230

later on, ate more...now 3410 + 470 = 3880.

Friday-

instead of 1500 calories, i had 2240. tomorrow i need 1500. my clothes are fitting soo bad. arg. i feel out of my skin.

observing went well enough. one person told me the job market for radiation therapists isn't good....and that scares me to bits! arg. whatever though. if i could get a job somewhere else, then i would. if i don't get into a radiation therapy program, i hope to get into radiography, as i planned.

no exercise.

tomorrow's plan: exchange an old navy shirt with a hole in it, use my The Limited 15 dollar gift card to buy something that is 15 dollars or less, exercise in the morning, see a movie, exercise at hofstra, do laundry, and read the chemistry book. i will probably not do all these things. haha. who knows!

Donkey on 11/16/2007:
That's not what I heard! I heard that the job prognosis from the Bureau of Labor Statistics says that RT's will have an increased demand. What, with all those cancer centers -- that is big bucks that hospitals have invested in cancer care. Maybe that person just doesn't know where to look... Hmm... If it's what you want to do, don't let one person's opinion scare you off.


fritters on 11/16/2007:
I hope you aren't discouraged - check into it further before you make a decision. You have a busy day planned. Hope you saved time for a little fun!! Happy weekend


kyrin on 11/17/2007:
So, did you buy something nice? ...I hope that it gives you a good boost. And, that your perky self will show up tomorrow for exercise. I will if you will.

{{Hugs}}


shadetree on 11/17/2007:
That binge is this morning? And it's only 8am? Are you upset (maybe you don't even realize it) about that person's comment about the job market? I wouldn't put much stock into that comment. Bottom line is, the average life span is increasing, baby boomers are getting older - and with that cancer develops...Healthcare is one of the most secure fields you could hope to be in. Especially in light of the fact that there are so few instructors, so there aren't enough graduating. There might not be a big demand in your specific town, but there are cancer centers opening left and right, and somebody's got to do it. So don't let that one person's comment scare you off. I just can't imagine why someone would make a comment like that...


workingit2 on 11/17/2007:
A friend of mine said his mother made raisin bread yesterday but used some really old yeast. It was delicious but very small and heavy LOL.

The field of medicine is the ONLY field that has any stability right now. I say GO FOR IT. Those who say it is doomed are ill informed. Medicine and undertaking, folks always need to get better and folks always die.

As far as your binging, we all know I am no doctor and we all know about my struggles AND my weight regain. *sigh*...but an interesting thing..I was talking to a woman at work the other day who said that her lack of iron made her chew ice constantly..and now that she has had her blood tested and is on treatment, she eats maybe a cup of ice a day as her iron levels are increasing. Not saying that you have low iron, but saying that I honestly think that perhaps your issue with food may be to some sort of imbalance in your chemical makeup that might be easily corrected with treatment. Sometimes I don't think things are all psychological or 'emotional'. Especially not lately since I found out the very real impact that hormones have on our bodies and how one piece of an unhealthy puzzle can throw our systems into chaos. I know we talked about all of this before but I am not sure I read your follow-up regarding getting a complete physical and blood work. It isn't any of my business and you don't have to share any health information...but I would hate for anyone to walk around torturing themselves thinking they are doing something wrong or that they aren't strong enough, when it very well could have a simple medical reason behind it.

OK sorry to butt in. Just know that I support you 100% and always, always wish you nothing but the very best. You are our HOP, and you've been so sweet, kind and helpful to everyone here..and I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you. Have a good day today and ease up on yourself a little. =)



Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Nov 15, 2007

Weight: 124.0

hey everyone.

1 hr, 5 min exercise today.

total= 16 hrs, 45 min exercise.

1500 calories.

I cooked a nice blended mix of 3 squashes: acorn, butternut, and spaghetti. I cut each (small size) squash in half. Then, depending on the size of each half, I microwaved each one separately for 2.5 up to 6 minutes. Then, I would add each half into the bowl and mix them together. All I added was cinnamon and pumpkin spice. It looks good. LOL, almost like mock stuffing! not really. but, it could work. If I were head of the household, that would probably be our stuffing at Thanksgiving. Hmm, you can probably add bread into it. who knows!

Lately, I've been making a lot with pumpkin. I've made yogurt, by mixing it with plain yogurt and adding spices (I don't even add the splenda anymore!). I sometimes make egg whites (or you can do eggs) and eat it with them. I eat it mixed with protein powder and sometimes I put it as a spread on bread. The options are endless. You can probably even mix the pumpkin with oatmeal or flour and make some kinda pancake. Once again, spices are necessary and maybe sweetner. Canned pumpkin needs at least some spices added to make it taste good. I'm not in love with the taste of it on its own.

Now that I have cooked fresh squash, it'll be a good alternative to the canned pumpkin I've been having a lot of.

I didn't clean the bathroom the other night...and it is not standing up too well right now! so, it must be done!

Last but not least, I'm sooooooo excited! Tomorrow I will be taking a half day and I cannot wait until I go to observe radiography!

workingit2 on 11/15/2007:
I like the idea of the pumpkin pancakes...if I were brave, I might try it LOL. I am doing some tai chi and another form of it called qigong (chee gong)that I read about in Prevention magazine. It is really relaxing and I can't really do much aggressive exercise right now.

I am so happy for you that you will go to observe tomorrow! Have fun!


kyrin on 11/16/2007:
Isn't it fun exploring the many ways that we can eat fruits and veggies??? Keep letting us know what's new. :-)


hollybelle on 11/16/2007:
OOOOOOH - pumpkins waffles - this weekend - I'm doing it! YUM!



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Nov 14, 2007

Weight: 124.0

so far, so good.

i will have 1500 cal by the end of tonight. pretty healthy eating today. salt, yes.

i'm excited about Friday. Supposedly, unless something changes, I'll be taking a half day at work and then going to the hospital to observe the Radiation Therapy program. (in August I observed a similiar program, called Radiography.) I must do this in order to apply to an education program to become a Radiation Therapist. I'm excited because I cannot wait to get at least one foot in the door. I feel like I've been trying to get my full applications in and start volunteering since September with no luck. After I observe, almost everything I need to do will be done! Finally. I want to confirm on Friday my feeling of Radiation Therapy truly being something I will be content doing the rest of my life - and I know it is! But, like I said, the program demands we observe a half day of it.

I must walk more today. will do that after I clean my nasty bathroom! Sometimes I wait a few days too long. But it does get cleaned!

ummm, arg. I just found out that we might be going to eat something for my mom's bday. I really don't want to! when do i enjoy going out to eat? never because it really makes me anxious. I would only get a very large salad with vinegar and a coffee. Hopefully we don't go. arg. celebrations revolving around food are not my thing. this is a bit of a problem because so much celebrating revolves around it!!!!! :(

edit: only 20 min exercise today. went out for my mom's bday. i'm tired...goodnight! :)

fritters on 11/14/2007:
Congratulations on a day of NO BINGING!! That is huge for you.


borntocry on 11/15/2007:
Hi HoP! I am still trying to get caught up on your past entries. Seems like a lot has been going on with you!

Hope things went well on your mom's birthday outing. I am also rather anxious about eating out. Just today my co-workers said that they might call me to go out to eat with them if there was nothing good at the cafeteria. I was hoping and hoping that they wouldn't call! It's just that restaurant food is so high-calorie, it really has to be fantastic to make it worthwhile. And if it isn't, that just sends me on a spiral of out-of-control eating for the rest of the day, week, month, or however long it takes for me to pull myself together!

Anyway, thanks for your advice on my entry yesterday. I have been doing as you suggested and trying to keep my mind off food by concentrating on several little projects instead. Some of those projects do involve cooking (sadly that's one of my main hobbies!) but at least thinking about them still does help to distract me from mindless snacking!


workingit2 on 11/15/2007:
How exciting to be getting your foot in the door! Good for you! Take deep breaths and do some calming exercise like tai chi to focus your mood on something other than worry about the celebrations. Just to give you peace of mind. I am in your corner as well! =)


mylifechanges on 11/15/2007:
Hi HoP! You're doing great! Congrats on doing well today. :) I'm excited for you and your opportunity to observe in the radiation department! It's always exciting to experience something new.

And thanks (a ton) for your comments on my site. I needed it! :) Doing better, taking it a day at a time! keep up the great work!


fuggaboutit on 11/15/2007:
thank you


maria777 on 11/15/2007:
1500 cals for a day is fantastic in getting to your goal, that is!


Donkey on 11/15/2007:
I did a little research on Radiation Therapist, and I think you will find it VERY rewarding. I hope your orientation confirms my opinion :-) Do let us know how it goes!!!!

PS Whatever career path you decide on for now, it may or may not be something that you do "the rest of (your) life", btw. Just keep that in mind :-)


tourguidebarbie on 11/15/2007:
Hey! Thanks for the comment! I really don't want to live my life on Bars and Shakes... lol so i guess it's good not to get started on them. My friend gave me one to try and it was so freaking gross!! YUCK! She already cheated on the diet too. I hope (for her sake) she loses at least a couple of lbs since it cost her like $200 for everything. I can imagine spending that much! Food holidays are everywhere! (take thanksgiving! lol) but you can do it! Good luck!



Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Nov 13, 2007

Weight: 124.0

today has been a bit challenging in the afternoon after school. i'm a bit tired and i keep thinking about food. i also am debating whether to clean up before (and let my sister use my car to get home from the train) heading out to sign up for graduation at my college or to walk to my car which is 25 minutes later and go there. I don't want to procrastinate any longer with cleaning up my room/bathroom. lol.

calories are ok. my body is full, but my mind is sorta not.

evening edit: alright day in the end. less salt happened a little today. tomorrow it will be simliar. Thursday I hope to have even less. However, i still like my veggie burger snacks. haha. i just don't want EVERY meal to be like 50% of my salt intake. My intake is probably way over.

anyways, calories = 1500.

exercise = 50 min.

total November exercise = 15 hrs, 20 min :)

workingit2 on 11/14/2007:
Congrats on a good day!


greengirl on 11/14/2007:
Keep plugging away HoP. Sounds like a good day on the whole. I wish you many more of the same :) I've always thought our biggest problem is what goes on in our minds!



Horn_of_plenty - Monday Nov 12, 2007

Weight: 124.0

i'm sick of everything salty. almost everything i eat is loaded with it. and so: a new diet!!! haha. i do this every so often. I will be making more "home cooked" meals and eating more quality protein and not as much soy!!! yes yes yes. so, what will i eat? brown rice, veggies, chicken/meat/burger/fish. no canned/salted right now. i'll grill chicken on the foreman grill and refrigerate portions to take to work. it's time for a slight change! i will perahps have a snack of a protein/balance bar in the morning at work though - and perhaps a veggie burger too since i eat all the way at 2pm on workdays. but, for meals at home, no more microwave for awhile. it's getting sad, to say the least. tooo tooo much sodium. I'll be creative with spices. i'll cook the veggies. and i'll splurge slightly and might even buy a little cooked fish (my mom hates the smell when i attempt to cook fish in our house - i can understand it.)

now, i'm back to the starting place. again. well, i can't say that I feel better. my mom's bday is wednesday - and that means cake temptations. Thanksgiving is the week after...and that's the same weekend i'm meeting up with a friend from Florida that i'm looking foward to see. I think there's potential between him and me. we talk all the time online! :) but, i'm gonna look gross. haha. nah.

oh goshy.

the binging didn't get better throughout the day...i think the amount of artificial sweetners i've been having since last week may have contributed to today's binge. not sure.

i even drove to the park and then drove home. just unmotivated to exercise.

calories are about 4,000....now 4500...now 4800...now 5000 they include things like leftover pasta in garlic/oil! i hope its not more calories! mac and cheese, tons and tons of peanut butter... yep, things of that nature!

see ya later. gotta make tomorrow better. scary thing is, i'm full, but i want more...

total exercise = 30 min.

november exercise = 14hrs, 30 min

greengirl on 11/12/2007:
Dont give in HoP. You will end up feeling bloated and yucky!!!


Donkey on 11/12/2007:
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry :-( What's going on? What's bothering you? Talk to Donkey! Try drinking more water. Something's got to be on your mind to drive you to the food like that. :-(


mylifechanges on 11/12/2007:
I'm sorry you've had a rough day. :( We've all been there.... I agree with Donkey though- something has to be driving you towards the food today, maybe if you can place your finger on what it is, it'll help you push through it?

Thinking about you today- keep pressing on. You are so capable of this! :)


maria777 on 11/13/2007:
Sounds like an emotional thing that is triggering your hunger through need for comfort from stress.



Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Nov 11, 2007

Weight: 124.0

Monday morning - bingy...so far 1340 cal...

Sunday:

hey all.

at the cheesecake factory, i got a seared tuna salad and it was darn healthy. it had avacado, but just enough and not too much. i did have some cheesecake, but actually didn't go overboard. whenever i'm with someone who i don't know well, i almost never overeat! that's good. however, bc i had cheesecake and some (healthy) avacado, calories were higher than if not. for health's sake, that's alright.

i also had a bunch of (healthy) food before noon, which upped calories.

I didn't have much left by the end of the night and i was pretty hungry. so calories are about 2260 for the day. not bad, considering. i do need to lay off the caffeine and diet drinks tomorrow. i've had way too much lately. tomorrow the plan is 1500 calories. I don't want to make it too low because i am not working and i do better with higher calorie counts on days when i have more free time, meaning more time around food and at home! I need to pick up some healthy veggies, apples,and cereal at the store.

the date was not bad. He's a nice guy. However, I'm not sure if we're the right fit. I would go on a second date, but it wasn't instant attraction for me. It's that i need to stop being picky or that my expectations are just too high. Not sure. However, it's not like I date all the time. Gotta start somewhere!

Tomorrow i'm going to see a movie with a college friend. I'm excited to meet up with him. as teachers, we have tomorrow off. haha, a teacher's schedule is the schedule everyone wants! just kidding...he has tons of engagements after regular school hours! yes, teachers get time off, but many also need to have other commitments.

all is well.

goodnight...and thanks for the lovely, motivational comments! :)

another good exercise day. i walked 5 miles and biked for 25 min. total exercise = 2hrs, 5 min. great day.

total Nov = 14 hrs!!! :) and tomorrow i plan on some good exercise, hopefully walking outside. i do have some work to get done, though. my goal is one hour exercise.

CarolinaTarheel on 11/11/2007:
wow, what a good exercise day! Great choice at cheesecake factory too!



Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Nov 10, 2007

Weight: 124.0

Sunday Morning Edit:

Today's been ok. I had a big breakfast, but very filling. 650 calories. I will try to either have something small or have nothing before the cheesecake factory. I am now looking online so i can actually plan what i will get there...see ya all later...:)

Saturday entry:

I had a really good day.

exercise: about 8 miles!!! so, 2hrs, 40 min :) (11 hrs, 55 min total)

i went to see gone baby gone - great movie!

exercised outdoors at the park and also in the morning.

tomorrow's my lunch date. I'm looking foward to it! :)

i hope everyone had a good day!

calorie - 1450

plan for tomorrow: one hour walk in AM, actually take time to get ready, possibly laundry, lunch at Cheesecake Factory where I will get something healthy, then possibly going to the library to pick up some study guides, taking a walk outside.

fritters on 11/10/2007:
You are getting a lot of exercise. That is great! Looks like you had a good day all the way around. I hope your lunch goes well. The cheesecake factory is a fun place to go and relax. Have fun!


mylifechanges on 11/10/2007:
wow! look at all that exercise! Good job. I hope your lunch date goes well tomorrow, you'll have to update us and let us know how things go. :)

And thanks so much for the comment on my site- I appreciate it! I've been very lucky to always be able to carry my weight well and have a high self-esteem- part of the problem I think with me not tackling this thing sooner. I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of being the "big" pretty girl though. I just want to be pretty. :) So I'm working on it, getting there slowly day by day. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a longterm commitment- unfortunately, I just want all of the results like, tomorrow.

Haha. So not gonna happen. Thanks for your support and encouragement- it means so much to me!!!


shadetree on 11/11/2007:
Looks like you might be back on track. Have a good time on your date! Great job with the exercise!


hollybelle on 11/11/2007:
Glad to see your post. Cheesecake Factory - what's healthy there? I love that place, but......


greengirl on 11/11/2007:
Sounds like you are in for a fun day !!! Yesterday looks good on the exercise front. Well done HoP !!!



Horn_of_plenty - Friday Nov 09, 2007

Weight: 124.0

Saturday AM entry:

The plan today is to take a 6 mi walk outside, even though it'll only be about 40 degrees today!!! I am also going to see a movie and pick up a book to study for a radiation therapy entrance exam. I ate a substantial amount this morning and I will not limit myself to 1200 calories because that is too low for today since I've already had 540 calories and it's 9am.

Friday evening entry:

well, today could have EASILY been 1200. i was doing well until 7:30pm. then, i did binge on all carbs: apple, nachos, ritz crackers, banana, bread.

oh well. 2225 calories today.

tomorrow i plan on doing a long walk and seeing a movie.

if i did stick to 1200 today, my binging last week would have been totally made up for. now, i've got a ways to go before my average calories decrease from what they are now.

ummmm. that's it.

total exercise: just 25 min.

9 hrs, 15 min.

mylifechanges on 11/09/2007:
remember, it's all about having more good days than bad days. :) excellent advice, my friend. keep it up. you're doing great!


FRITTERS on 11/09/2007:
You are doing really well, just have to figure a way out of those binges. Have you tried needle work-latch hook- something that keeps your hands busy and doesn't allow eating? Good ol self denile is the best but sure is hard!


fritters on 11/10/2007:
For being a long time binger, you hold your weight very good. You are not over weight for 5" 2". Maybe your times of regular eating ballances out your binging. You also do a lot of exercise - that is a huge plus! Happy Saturday


mcwoo40 on 11/10/2007:
Hi,Just passing to say 'hello'.You seem to be getting back on track,keep it up,Julie


greengirl on 11/10/2007:
Hi HoP. I just wanted to thank you for your constant support and advice to us all. You are always here, even when you yourself are struggling at times. Take care of yourself :o)



Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Nov 08, 2007

Weight: 124.0

today was pretty good, too. I was pretty busy at work and so it was easy to cut calories throughout the workday.

I had a bunch of snacks when I got home to make up for that, of course!

Today's calories will be 1200, which is great!!! :)

I exercised 25 min in the AM. 45 min pm. total = 70 min :) I hope you are all well. :)

8 hrs 40 min = November exercise total! :)

mskitty on 11/08/2007:
Sigh ha ha I hear ya on the hole sister problem thing.... my sister in the last year has caused me and Tyler a lot of stress. But what can you do ....family right...*rolls eyes*


weightlossyoyo on 11/08/2007:
YOU DID GREAT TODAY!


fritters on 11/08/2007:
I am very envious of those that get along well with ALL their sibblings. I also have an EVIL SISTER! It looks like you had a really good day. Hope tomorrow is another.


tourguidebarbie on 11/09/2007:
Hey! Great job! And sorry about the sister thing... There is always one.. lol. :)


Maria7 on 11/09/2007:
Wow! 1200 sounds fantastic! WTG!!!


mylifechanges on 11/09/2007:
wow, look at you go! :) You're doing great HOP! Thanks for the encouragement on my site. I'm chugging along. :) Still can't figure out how to change your age yet, huh? I think mine changed automatically this summer? Or maybe not. I can't really remember. haha.



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