calories: 1,000. whatever. I'm not eating anymore tonight. It was a busy day, 15 min walk on the treadmill in the AM. that's about it. I did some volunteer work at the hospital, too.
exercise: 15 min.
cal: 1000
total exercise: 30hrs, 50min.
Tuesday afternoon entry: Calories are good today. No yoga because I have to volunteer this afternoon. 800 cal so far. I will go to 1200 today and I am very content about that. When combined with yesterday, my average for these two days is 2025. Another entry later and comments on your diaries tonight...
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Monday entry:
ahhhh! I did binge again after lunch today! So, the whole day is shot. Tomorrow isn't but today is.
I will make myself go to yoga again tonight even though I will probably be very full there.
total cal: 2850. sad, because my goal is to lose weight and I gave in to temptation. partly bc i was lonely...that's mostly the reason. It could have been a lot worse and if I eat low (1200 - even though I know its not a great idea to do after a high cal day) I can balance today out with tomorrow. I want to do that so the rest of the week can be focussed back towards weightloss.
i did a lot of sitting, but I went to yoga twice. also a 20 min walk.
total exercise: 3hr, 20 min.
jan exercise: 30 hours, 35 min. yay for a good total.
Monday afternoon:
I guess I had a slight binge at lunch, totalling 1500 cal. If i didn't have the three cookies after, it would have only been 1200, which is better. Lunch did include some healthy things: FOUR servings of nuts haha, 2 whole grain english muffines, salmon, green beans...
so far, I have 1870 cal today. I want to go to another yoga class this evening and I would like to remain at 2200 cal total for the day. Even though I will not lose weight from today, it can count as maintenance as long as I eat no more than 2200 calories. :) I can do it!
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Monday morning edit:
hello! I am off from work today, yay! I have a couple things to do, nothing too major. I may even go to yoga twice as tomorrow I have no plans to go because I'll be volunteering for two hours at a hospital after work. I just had a good breakfast: 2 microwaved (baked) small apples with cottage cheese on top and lots of pumpkin pie spice. I also had a large tea with milk. It's so easy to make baked apples in the microwave. Just make sure you remove most of the core before you cook them or they will explode and make a mess in your microwave!
Now that my dating is over with the guy I had been dating for a month, I am back to talking with a good friend of mine who lives in Florida. I may call him tonight since he called me last night (but he had drank so I question if he would have called me otherwise...). He's a very nice, smart guy, but I really don't know if he possesses the same types of feeling for me that I have for him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight with someone else I met online but I'm not. I've decided he comes across as too busy and has too much of an "explosive" personality for me! haha. Yes, I can tell that from the little I've talked with him online! Also, I am not attracted at all to his photos. I KNOW this is not what makes a relationship, haha, but it matters.
Have a good day...time for me to comment! :)
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Sunday entry:
THANK YOU for your constructive comments on my entry regarding my family and the fighting lol. Everyone has apoligized which is good news. Well, not apoligized, but the situation has definitely blown over which is good.
i went out to dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant called "Shish Kebab." Fabulous place. lots of food. worth it...especially the filet minon kebabs!!
total calories are around 2000-2200. That's ok. can't change it.
exercise: 2hrs
total: 27hrs, 15 min. :)
Sunday AM edit:
Today is starting out as a very good day. While picking up the newspaper, I bought my dad his favorite cookies (a cookie coated with chocolate on the outside, jell in the inside as he has no weight problems and always enjoys a good cookie) at the store to kinda make up for some of the hostility that went on last night.
I didn't even eat before going to the store bc i didn't have much of an appetite! Then, I had some almonds, two small microwaved apples with pumpkin pie spice on them and about a 1/4 cup cottage cheese. i also had a large tea. calories so far: 365. Lunch will be after yoga - I know I need to replenish with carbs!! Maybe another apple will be included in that.
Have a good day everyone.
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Saturday late edit: so i'm brushing my teeth in the bathroom in my underwear and the door is only an inch open. My sister tries to come in and i slam the door. I didn't hurt her, although it could have happened. I like my privacy, even when not totally naked in the bathroom.
She gets all angry bc i slammed the door in her face...but instead of letting me finish in the bathroom, she goes downstairs and tells my parents. My dad gets majorly angry with me so while i'm in the shower he starts to yell from outside the bathroom to me that I should let my sister in if I'm not totally naked! It becomes a yelling match basically between me and my dad while i'm in the shower.
I'm just angry bc my sister didn't come to me but rather took her 22yr old self down to my parents to rattle on me. Yes, i may have acted immaturely by slamming the door on her, but i always want my privacy and i believe she should know this from past experience. Why couldn't she ask if she could even come in. If you ask me, it was a misunderstanding between both my sister and myself. I do NOT see why parents were involved....and the conflict got bad. The only one that got "in trouble" by my parents was me. My dad said he'd put a lock on the treadmill and I cannot use it anymore. The end. I know I have complained about similiar issues with my sister here before. It seems she always goes to them when she has a problem with me. I always tell her that that is unaccptable. She continues. Is this because I am missing something important?
If anyone understands this situation or can put in into perspective for me, I'd love to gain some feedback even if you tell me what I did was wrong.
today could have been a complete disaster after getting home from visiting my grandmother but it turned out it wasn't.
i almost ate out of the 1500s lol.
Total cal: 1595. lol. I am proud for making the choice NOT to indulge.
exercise: 2hrs.
total exercise: 25hrs, 15min. pretty good.
monday: yoga, oil change, dinner date with someone new (but any initial attraction is not there...just going out for the fun/experience of it). I don't date a lot, so i view it as being IMPORTANT to just go on more dates rather than settle for a certain person right now.
There's someone that i don't have any dates with that i'm really interested in. he lives in my town...no, never met him since i didn't grow up here. talked to him a lot online...we'll see.
I decided to stop dating the guy i went on my 4th date with this past fri night. I didn't feel physically attracted to him enough to continue. he was kinda shocked i think...i think he was more attracted to me. but, i just couldn't go on without the attraction. i know its whats on the inside that counts...but isn't it the outside, too? that's my opinion.
Hope today is a better day. So nice to see you are out there dating 'just for the experience' - you never know when it will sneak up on you and bite you! :)
All I can do is sympathise with you. I am like you and believe that the bathroom is a private place! My husband always pisses me off by coming in while I'm brushing my teeth. I also hate it when he tries to talk to me from outside the bathroom. I mean, that should be the one place on earth where one can be by oneself!
Thanks for your comment. Of course, I normally wear athletic pants while running but then I have to carry a change of clothes in my backpack because I can't go back to work in athletic clothes!
So, do you think I underestimated my calories the day before? I was kind of worried about that. I estimated 500 calories for the bread pudding, 500 for two slices of pizza, 150 for a slice of bread, 70 for a small spoon of peanut butter and 150 for a few bites of ice-cream. What do you think?
As for the bathroom and privacy, when we moved in our house I made it perfectly clear that NO ONE was allowed in MY bathroom, and no one ever dared to enter it. Like you, I felt that this was my private place and didn't want to be bothered by the kids.
You will be so happy once you move out and get your own place, even if it's tiny. Not to have to contend with your sister will be such a relief.
You did very well in not stuffing your hurt feelings and anger! Congratulations!!!
good luck!!!
Great eating day. Ok exercise day! :)
calories before dinner equalled 700. At dinner, I had exactly what i wanted - a roast beef wrap. very tasty and a little broccoli on the side, too! :) The wrap was large, but healthy. I need to guess the calories!
Total calories: 1400..can't possibly be more! great day!!!! :)
exercise: 1hr, 45min (yoga and 15 min walk).
total ex: 23hrs, 15min
Plans for tomorrow: yoga in AM, visit grandma, gym?
Great job with the calories and the exercise. I've noticed that you seem to recover from your binges quicker than you used to. This is a good thing HoP!
Enjoy your time with your grandma!
Friday afternoon entry:
Today has gone pretty well. I have this huge pimple on my chin area though...and i can't even cover it up well...but i'm going out on this date anyways...
exercise so far: 15 min . haha. plus yoga = 1hr, 45min :) ok.
total exercise: 23hrs, 50 min :)
calories so far: 600. yeah, a really good food day! :) Going out to dinner...I want to keep it light, this day can be GREAT calorie-wise. I just want a salad.
lately, munching on almonds throughout the morning really, really helps. It must be at least two servings. my cravings at lunch have become much more minimal! :)
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Thursday entry:
yesterday i binged and had around 4300 cal.
today started out bad and got better. i have 1340 cal now, before yoga. I plan on going up to 1540 today.
calories: 1400. I'm tired and i'm going to bed. NO MORE EATING for tonight! tomorrow is going to be a challenging day bc the kids I usually teach have like an all day party in their classes...leading to a lot of free time for myself where i can go and get a snack. I'll try to plan healthfully!
exercise 1.5hours.
total ex: 22hr, 5 min
When i binge, I get very negative with myself. I pretty much want to isolate myself from all social situations because i hate how i look...especially my clothes. anyways, i was going to cancel the date tomorrow night because i'm feeling so crappy, but i'll stick with it and see if it goes well. That will help me decide if I want to go out with him anymore.
15 slow, lousy minutes on treadmill. slow means mostly below 3.0 not kidding!
total exercise: 20hrs, 35min.
I can be a broken record sometimes, but it happened again...
Binge today. just not a good day. should have went to yoga! Lately, I've been tired and that's why i think i binged.
before the binge: 1190 cal.
my binge: it started out inocentally with a bottle of kombucha. 60 cal., english muffin with zero calorie spread (120), two light hot dogs (140)and 3 plum tomotoes (60), potato chips (150), vegetable chips 4 servings (600), 2 pieces pound cake (420), one yogurt (140), 6 tablespoons peanut butter (600), ice cream (120), 3 chocolate covered cherries (170) ....trying to remember if i forgot anything...it was all VERY tasty.
after binge: 3770....plus another 600 = 4270 total.
I did this last week and that's why I didn't loose any weight this week. I guess next week is the same thing. I'm caught in a little bit of a struggle arg! i can get out!
I wish I had some great advice to give you, but if I did, then I wouldn't be trapped in the same binge cycle myself! It looks like you wanted to sample everything in the house, which is pretty much the way I usually am during a binge. Except last time I tried something new - restricting my binge to only one or two foods (in this case, bread and chocolate chip Weetabix). I think it actually did work because I couldn't go over about 800 calories of each before I felt sick and had to stop. Although those were certainly among the least nutritious 1600 calories I ever consumed!
I agree that maybe we are being too lenient with ourselves. For me, it all began when I got down to 106 lb last summer. I wisely decided to focus on maintaining instead of losing more and allowed myself 1500 calories a day. That was great at first. I had the occasional splurge on the weekend but I didn't bother to try to make up for it because I figured I had enough "leeway" to gain a little. Only food is addictive and the splurges gradually become more and more frequent, and because I had stopped trying to make up for them, my weight started to creep up again. My solution was simply to stop weighing myself! Telling myself that my weight would eventually come back down. But how could it? When I had completely stopped doing anything to make it happen?
Now I finally see why geevee and others used to say that it is easier to lose than to maintain. At the time, I thought that was insane! But now I see that I need the focus which I can only get from trying to work towards a goal rather than simply maintain the status quo. You get a sense of accomplishment from losing weight that you don't get from just not gaining weight! So henceforth I am going back to trying to lose, even if it's just one or two pounds. Things are already looking up for me - hopefully you too!
yesterday was a big breakfast and today was a big lunch. I know that if I don't watch myself, i could end up binging soon! I need to remember that my body DOES need carbs and that veggies really don't make up for them - and that good grains/breads are good for me...and to eat them so i don't binge on the bad stuff! ok, 'nuff said about that!
exercise so far: 15 min. I need to volunteer for two hours this evening. I don't want to rush to get ready for yoga, either. I was tired today bc i didn't get enough sleep. I was on the phone with the guy and I also woke up in the middle of the night.
exercise: only 15 min this morning but its ok bc i was on my feet volunteering tonight.
total exercise: 20 hrs, 20min.
calories are 1580. I'm totally fine with this amount! I got some tasty foods in and a good amount of breads/starches. I want to work on this area, making sure I do eat breads - and usually the whole grain type! Sometimes, I refrain from most grains and that leads to carb binging later.
What do I want for dinner?? I plan to have not too many veggies bc I had them at lunch and I'm craving OTHER carbs at the moment, although I did have two servings of chips at lunch as well! What should I have!? for some reason, I can't seem to make up my mind. I think its because I'm full at this very moment.
I'm still having nuts everyday and I also ordered a new face wash online because I tried someone else's and it was so gentle on my face! I'll do anything to have clear skin again! My skin isn't terrible but I cannot go a week without a breakout!
good day today!
exercise: 1hr, 45 min. mostly yoga and a 15 min walk. haha.
total exercise: 20 hrs, 20 min!!! :)
calories: 1260 you bet i'm happy. big breakfast and i still watched throughout the day and this worked out wonderfully! :)
My dad said that if i do a couple errands every saturday he'd pay me $48 dollars a week...about 200 a month. Of course I said yes and now I'll make a good amount of extra money each month! yay for that! :)
Is it wrong to just go with the flow in a relationship because I haven't had one in awhile...even though I'm not sure if I'm as attracted to him as I should be??? arg. I always give myself a really hard time with this.
I'm looking foward to a wonderful day tomorrow. I will definitely have to volunteer. I'll only do it for ONE hour though! I want to fit in yoga as well.
I also help out in an afterschool program 2 days a week that I get paid an hour each day for. I am thankful for the couple of extra opportunities that I am fortunate to have right now because they provide me with some extra spending money! yay for that!
goodnight all! :)
And congratulations on the great eating days! You should be very proud of yourself!
Nothing wrong with going with the flow...just don't give your heart or act like you have or lead anyone on.
Have a great evening and a great day tomorrow!
Sunday evening edit:
My date was good, long kiss before train ride home...i will say more tomorrow. I'm still thinking about it and trying to decide if we have enough in common and could possibly be something together.
1790 calories...210 of them being this awesome sour cream pound cake. sounds bad, tastes good! entenman's brand.
goodnight.
exercise: 2.5 hours :) walking/yoga.
total exercise: 18hrs, 35 min!!!! yeah!
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11am edit: calories already 1020 and i'm still going to try to have success with eating lower than 1600 today. If all fails, I will still eat healthy - I promise myself this! :)
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I had a really big breakfast this morning, 730 calories. But now I am done and I feel good and ready to begin a successful day.
Sunday 8:10 AM entry: off to a good start. I went to bed at 3:30am, but I am wide awake today at 8am! Gosh, that's not much sleep! But, at least I'll fall asleep early tonight! I will definitely go to yoga today and walk outside if it turns out to be around 50 degrees.
I will also start my new book by the same author as the last book i was reading. It's called Reality Queen. haha, these books are just for the fun of it, not educational in the least! You do learn a few lessons. I love the author, Debbie DiGiovanni who also wrote Jamaican' Me Crazy. It's an entertaining book about some married ladies on their Christmas Vacation who end up being allowed to take a vacation away from their families during Christmas! Its a weird topic but it ends up teaching quite a few lessons about love and family...and I read it during the winter/Christmas school break. It was written really really recently and some of the things she talks about still linger in the current news. I enjoyed reading it so much that when i went to my public library, I asked for another book by her and they were able to borrow Reality Queen from a nearby library! I'm glad I've begun to read again. I was not a big reader in high school and I feel its important to read, whatever it is you like, because it's good to do more than watch tv.
I have some laundry to catch up on, not much since i've been doing it as soon as it fills up my bin lately so that I don't have more than one load to do at a time. Works out well I tell you! I will also stop by the supermarket to pick up a few things, mainly veggies for the week. Most other things I already have. Kinda like BTC, I'm trying to use up all my "reserves" before going food shopping for all new things. I don't have a lot of money to spare this year so I like to know that I am actually finishing what I bought before i buy too much more!
My dentist appt was a success yesterday, no cavities! yay!
I hope everyone enjoys their day! :)
Yay on the success at the dentist! I love the feeling of just cleaned teeth - and it's even better when you don't have to go back to get yet another hole drilled in your head.
Have a good day!
Enjoy that book and eat healthy! Have a great day, HOP =)
Yes, make a pledge to yourself that regardless of what the calories may end up being, that your choices will be optimally healthy. You can do it!
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hi HoPs! I'm sorry that it's been ages since you've seen my face around your comment section. I just spent the last half an hour catching up with everything in your life. I'm excited for you that you're out there dating! Keep us updated on all of that. :)
Thanks for your comments on my site. It's been so terribly hard to get back in the groove of things (I don't know what's with me!) so I can always use the encouragement, as we all can!!
workingit2 on 01/23/2008:
Take good care of yourself!
hollybelle on 01/23/2008:
Just saying Hi.....