Sunday entry:
breakfast was slightly larger than expected. When i woke up, i could feel the nasty effects of all the sugar and sodium. My body is swollen and shakey. after eating it got better.
i had 380 cal. (a crab cake that i cooked last night with the burgers - yes it is a processed food but i wanted to use them since they've been in my freezer for at least 6 months and they were expensive, with pumpkin, a tomato, and an additional chicken burger that i had. I can say I'm definitely satisfied now.
have a good day all.
Saturday Entry:
4350 cals.
tomorrow i'm going to NJ to see a friend who lives in that state. we're gonna meet for lunch and a movie. of course, meeting for lunch has me all antsy....because i DON'T like going out to eat.
interestingly, i was looking online at the requirements to by a NY police officer and I actually weigh too much!!!! yeah! that's right! for my height, 124/125 or whatever it is that I weight now, is too much! I'm all the way at the high end! worse, my weight is fat, not muscle! I wouldn't become a cop anyway, but I'm sad that my weight has changed so drastically.
i miss my days of childhood intuition eating. i stopped when satisfied and i didn't binge.
The only way i know how to loose weight is to diet. and everytime i'm successful, i ruin my progress with a couple binges. If only i can be satisfied without stuffing myself. I have got to eat less volume, then i would have such an easy time controlling calories. now, i eat the right foods, usually! but i eat like 3 servings at a time.
I just need to curb my appetite. I need to eat less. I should find eating 1200 cals a day easy, considering all the low cal food i eat. this is plain pathetic, i tell ya.
alright, i do have a plan, although making one after a binge usually doesn't ever work. no processed meals. more meat and veggies. I am going to eat more high quality proteins (chicken/turkey burgers, fish, and meat like hamburgers (I know the exact calorie info of a burger) I think the addition of meat will help me with the binging. I think the extra iron will be helpful.
haha, no veggie burgers! yes, i've said it. until i loose 15 pounds i'm going to lay off all processed meals and veggie burgers. that way, i'll be having much less sodium and the "quick" weight loss at the beginning will keep me motivated till the end of this 15 pound weight loss journey. Now, I have to plan my goals...
truth is, by the end of January, I should be able to weigh 110 without any drastic measures.
I need to reapply fitness to my routine as I am getting lazy with evening workouts. I will also commit myself further to the gym.
i'm going to cook chicken and turkey burgers to have for the week and head off to the gym...
btw, i didn't get anything done today. not one thing.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
Sat morning: binge. (apple oatmeal, yogurts, this heavy cranberry bread, regular bread, potato chips, peanut butter, nachos) 2020 cal. + more binging on 1/2 a pumpkin pie and some pecan pie (talk about calories!) 880 calories right there.
total for one hour on morning: 2900...3040...3230
later on, ate more...now 3410 + 470 = 3880.
Friday-
instead of 1500 calories, i had 2240. tomorrow i need 1500. my clothes are fitting soo bad. arg. i feel out of my skin.
observing went well enough. one person told me the job market for radiation therapists isn't good....and that scares me to bits! arg. whatever though. if i could get a job somewhere else, then i would. if i don't get into a radiation therapy program, i hope to get into radiography, as i planned.
no exercise.
tomorrow's plan: exchange an old navy shirt with a hole in it, use my The Limited 15 dollar gift card to buy something that is 15 dollars or less, exercise in the morning, see a movie, exercise at hofstra, do laundry, and read the chemistry book. i will probably not do all these things. haha. who knows!
{{Hugs}}
The field of medicine is the ONLY field that has any stability right now. I say GO FOR IT. Those who say it is doomed are ill informed. Medicine and undertaking, folks always need to get better and folks always die.
As far as your binging, we all know I am no doctor and we all know about my struggles AND my weight regain. *sigh*...but an interesting thing..I was talking to a woman at work the other day who said that her lack of iron made her chew ice constantly..and now that she has had her blood tested and is on treatment, she eats maybe a cup of ice a day as her iron levels are increasing. Not saying that you have low iron, but saying that I honestly think that perhaps your issue with food may be to some sort of imbalance in your chemical makeup that might be easily corrected with treatment. Sometimes I don't think things are all psychological or 'emotional'. Especially not lately since I found out the very real impact that hormones have on our bodies and how one piece of an unhealthy puzzle can throw our systems into chaos. I know we talked about all of this before but I am not sure I read your follow-up regarding getting a complete physical and blood work. It isn't any of my business and you don't have to share any health information...but I would hate for anyone to walk around torturing themselves thinking they are doing something wrong or that they aren't strong enough, when it very well could have a simple medical reason behind it.
OK sorry to butt in. Just know that I support you 100% and always, always wish you nothing but the very best. You are our HOP, and you've been so sweet, kind and helpful to everyone here..and I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you. Have a good day today and ease up on yourself a little. =)
hey everyone.
1 hr, 5 min exercise today.
total= 16 hrs, 45 min exercise.
1500 calories.
I cooked a nice blended mix of 3 squashes: acorn, butternut, and spaghetti. I cut each (small size) squash in half. Then, depending on the size of each half, I microwaved each one separately for 2.5 up to 6 minutes. Then, I would add each half into the bowl and mix them together. All I added was cinnamon and pumpkin spice. It looks good. LOL, almost like mock stuffing! not really. but, it could work. If I were head of the household, that would probably be our stuffing at Thanksgiving. Hmm, you can probably add bread into it. who knows!
Lately, I've been making a lot with pumpkin. I've made yogurt, by mixing it with plain yogurt and adding spices (I don't even add the splenda anymore!). I sometimes make egg whites (or you can do eggs) and eat it with them. I eat it mixed with protein powder and sometimes I put it as a spread on bread. The options are endless. You can probably even mix the pumpkin with oatmeal or flour and make some kinda pancake. Once again, spices are necessary and maybe sweetner. Canned pumpkin needs at least some spices added to make it taste good. I'm not in love with the taste of it on its own.
Now that I have cooked fresh squash, it'll be a good alternative to the canned pumpkin I've been having a lot of.
I didn't clean the bathroom the other night...and it is not standing up too well right now! so, it must be done!
Last but not least, I'm sooooooo excited! Tomorrow I will be taking a half day and I cannot wait until I go to observe radiography!
I am so happy for you that you will go to observe tomorrow! Have fun!
so far, so good.
i will have 1500 cal by the end of tonight. pretty healthy eating today. salt, yes.
i'm excited about Friday. Supposedly, unless something changes, I'll be taking a half day at work and then going to the hospital to observe the Radiation Therapy program. (in August I observed a similiar program, called Radiography.) I must do this in order to apply to an education program to become a Radiation Therapist. I'm excited because I cannot wait to get at least one foot in the door. I feel like I've been trying to get my full applications in and start volunteering since September with no luck. After I observe, almost everything I need to do will be done! Finally. I want to confirm on Friday my feeling of Radiation Therapy truly being something I will be content doing the rest of my life - and I know it is! But, like I said, the program demands we observe a half day of it.
I must walk more today. will do that after I clean my nasty bathroom! Sometimes I wait a few days too long. But it does get cleaned!
ummm, arg. I just found out that we might be going to eat something for my mom's bday. I really don't want to! when do i enjoy going out to eat? never because it really makes me anxious. I would only get a very large salad with vinegar and a coffee. Hopefully we don't go. arg. celebrations revolving around food are not my thing. this is a bit of a problem because so much celebrating revolves around it!!!!! :(
edit: only 20 min exercise today. went out for my mom's bday. i'm tired...goodnight! :)
Hope things went well on your mom's birthday outing. I am also rather anxious about eating out. Just today my co-workers said that they might call me to go out to eat with them if there was nothing good at the cafeteria. I was hoping and hoping that they wouldn't call! It's just that restaurant food is so high-calorie, it really has to be fantastic to make it worthwhile. And if it isn't, that just sends me on a spiral of out-of-control eating for the rest of the day, week, month, or however long it takes for me to pull myself together!
Anyway, thanks for your advice on my entry yesterday. I have been doing as you suggested and trying to keep my mind off food by concentrating on several little projects instead. Some of those projects do involve cooking (sadly that's one of my main hobbies!) but at least thinking about them still does help to distract me from mindless snacking!
And thanks (a ton) for your comments on my site. I needed it! :) Doing better, taking it a day at a time! keep up the great work!
PS Whatever career path you decide on for now, it may or may not be something that you do "the rest of (your) life", btw. Just keep that in mind :-)
today has been a bit challenging in the afternoon after school. i'm a bit tired and i keep thinking about food. i also am debating whether to clean up before (and let my sister use my car to get home from the train) heading out to sign up for graduation at my college or to walk to my car which is 25 minutes later and go there. I don't want to procrastinate any longer with cleaning up my room/bathroom. lol.
calories are ok. my body is full, but my mind is sorta not.
evening edit: alright day in the end. less salt happened a little today. tomorrow it will be simliar. Thursday I hope to have even less. However, i still like my veggie burger snacks. haha. i just don't want EVERY meal to be like 50% of my salt intake. My intake is probably way over.
anyways, calories = 1500.
exercise = 50 min.
total November exercise = 15 hrs, 20 min :)
i'm sick of everything salty. almost everything i eat is loaded with it. and so: a new diet!!! haha. i do this every so often. I will be making more "home cooked" meals and eating more quality protein and not as much soy!!! yes yes yes. so, what will i eat? brown rice, veggies, chicken/meat/burger/fish. no canned/salted right now. i'll grill chicken on the foreman grill and refrigerate portions to take to work. it's time for a slight change! i will perahps have a snack of a protein/balance bar in the morning at work though - and perhaps a veggie burger too since i eat all the way at 2pm on workdays. but, for meals at home, no more microwave for awhile. it's getting sad, to say the least. tooo tooo much sodium. I'll be creative with spices. i'll cook the veggies. and i'll splurge slightly and might even buy a little cooked fish (my mom hates the smell when i attempt to cook fish in our house - i can understand it.)
now, i'm back to the starting place. again. well, i can't say that I feel better. my mom's bday is wednesday - and that means cake temptations. Thanksgiving is the week after...and that's the same weekend i'm meeting up with a friend from Florida that i'm looking foward to see. I think there's potential between him and me. we talk all the time online! :) but, i'm gonna look gross. haha. nah.
oh goshy.
the binging didn't get better throughout the day...i think the amount of artificial sweetners i've been having since last week may have contributed to today's binge. not sure.
i even drove to the park and then drove home. just unmotivated to exercise.
calories are about 4,000....now 4500...now 4800...now 5000 they include things like leftover pasta in garlic/oil! i hope its not more calories! mac and cheese, tons and tons of peanut butter... yep, things of that nature!
see ya later. gotta make tomorrow better. scary thing is, i'm full, but i want more...
total exercise = 30 min.
november exercise = 14hrs, 30 min
Thinking about you today- keep pressing on. You are so capable of this! :)
Monday morning - bingy...so far 1340 cal...
Sunday:
hey all.
at the cheesecake factory, i got a seared tuna salad and it was darn healthy. it had avacado, but just enough and not too much. i did have some cheesecake, but actually didn't go overboard. whenever i'm with someone who i don't know well, i almost never overeat! that's good. however, bc i had cheesecake and some (healthy) avacado, calories were higher than if not. for health's sake, that's alright.
i also had a bunch of (healthy) food before noon, which upped calories.
I didn't have much left by the end of the night and i was pretty hungry. so calories are about 2260 for the day. not bad, considering. i do need to lay off the caffeine and diet drinks tomorrow. i've had way too much lately. tomorrow the plan is 1500 calories. I don't want to make it too low because i am not working and i do better with higher calorie counts on days when i have more free time, meaning more time around food and at home! I need to pick up some healthy veggies, apples,and cereal at the store.
the date was not bad. He's a nice guy. However, I'm not sure if we're the right fit. I would go on a second date, but it wasn't instant attraction for me. It's that i need to stop being picky or that my expectations are just too high. Not sure. However, it's not like I date all the time. Gotta start somewhere!
Tomorrow i'm going to see a movie with a college friend. I'm excited to meet up with him. as teachers, we have tomorrow off. haha, a teacher's schedule is the schedule everyone wants! just kidding...he has tons of engagements after regular school hours! yes, teachers get time off, but many also need to have other commitments.
all is well.
goodnight...and thanks for the lovely, motivational comments! :)
another good exercise day. i walked 5 miles and biked for 25 min. total exercise = 2hrs, 5 min. great day.
total Nov = 14 hrs!!! :) and tomorrow i plan on some good exercise, hopefully walking outside. i do have some work to get done, though. my goal is one hour exercise.
Sunday Morning Edit:
Today's been ok. I had a big breakfast, but very filling. 650 calories. I will try to either have something small or have nothing before the cheesecake factory. I am now looking online so i can actually plan what i will get there...see ya all later...:)
Saturday entry:
I had a really good day.
exercise: about 8 miles!!! so, 2hrs, 40 min :) (11 hrs, 55 min total)
i went to see gone baby gone - great movie!
exercised outdoors at the park and also in the morning.
tomorrow's my lunch date. I'm looking foward to it! :)
i hope everyone had a good day!
calorie - 1450
plan for tomorrow: one hour walk in AM, actually take time to get ready, possibly laundry, lunch at Cheesecake Factory where I will get something healthy, then possibly going to the library to pick up some study guides, taking a walk outside.
And thanks so much for the comment on my site- I appreciate it! I've been very lucky to always be able to carry my weight well and have a high self-esteem- part of the problem I think with me not tackling this thing sooner. I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of being the "big" pretty girl though. I just want to be pretty. :) So I'm working on it, getting there slowly day by day. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a longterm commitment- unfortunately, I just want all of the results like, tomorrow.
Haha. So not gonna happen. Thanks for your support and encouragement- it means so much to me!!!
Saturday AM entry:
The plan today is to take a 6 mi walk outside, even though it'll only be about 40 degrees today!!! I am also going to see a movie and pick up a book to study for a radiation therapy entrance exam. I ate a substantial amount this morning and I will not limit myself to 1200 calories because that is too low for today since I've already had 540 calories and it's 9am.
Friday evening entry:
well, today could have EASILY been 1200. i was doing well until 7:30pm. then, i did binge on all carbs: apple, nachos, ritz crackers, banana, bread.
oh well. 2225 calories today.
tomorrow i plan on doing a long walk and seeing a movie.
if i did stick to 1200 today, my binging last week would have been totally made up for. now, i've got a ways to go before my average calories decrease from what they are now.
ummmm. that's it.
total exercise: just 25 min.
9 hrs, 15 min.
today was pretty good, too. I was pretty busy at work and so it was easy to cut calories throughout the workday.
I had a bunch of snacks when I got home to make up for that, of course!
Today's calories will be 1200, which is great!!! :)
I exercised 25 min in the AM. 45 min pm. total = 70 min :) I hope you are all well. :)
8 hrs 40 min = November exercise total! :)
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A lot of us seem to be really struggling. I hope that your 'plan' works for you.
mcwoo40 on 11/18/2007:
Hi,best of luck in your new regime.I need to start too,my body is telling me now,with the aching that's all over my body,and the heartburn it's no good.Let's spur each other on.Have a great day with your friend,bye 4 now,Julie
mylifechanges on 11/18/2007:
i agree with fritters, i don't know what it is about this season, but we all seem to be struggling. Let's stick together, you can do this HoP! Oh, and I'm AMAZED that your current weight is too heavy for the NYPD. Even at 5'2, 125 doesn't seem too heavy to me. What is their target weight? Just curious!
I hope today is great for you! Remember, one day at a time...