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Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jan 27, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

wed morning:

2 hr snow delay...drinking some laxative tea....sooo bloated. going to the dermatologist later....

so unhappy with myself right now.



at least 4500 again today.

8 day avg = 2891 calories.


sad part, all day i was xraying and flouroscoping gastric bypass patients. i see all the bad and keep doing bad. i'm sick to my stomach. stressed.



better days ahead. i'm sorry to myself today is another crappy one.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

mama_nurse on 01/27/2009:
I'm sorry you had a "crappy" day....Just stay focused :)

starfish on 01/27/2009:
I'm sending you lots of hugs. I know what it's like to struggle with bingeing. It was a horrible cycle I was in from about age 15-24. I'd binge and starve, binge and starve. I still don't have a handle on just eating sensible. I still tend to do "radical" diet plans and then end up quitting after a couple weeks. But I don't have the 4000-5000 calorie binges anymore. I wish I could tell you how to stop it. More self love I think. and do not starve yourself (although I'm not one to talk sometimes! I was fasting near the holidays.) Please be gentle with yourself.

selina on 01/28/2009:
Hi HoP, please take care of yourself. Warm hugs to you.

WI3 on 01/28/2009:
HANG IN THERE! I like Biscotti's suggestion very much. Sometimes when someone else puts together a menu plan for you, it helps. I know, I'm doing it now. I needed the extra pair of eyes and support. Take care of yourself today..the week is almost over!

Donkey on 01/28/2009:
I think you are too hard on yourself. HUGS!

loveray on 01/28/2009:
i hope your day got better, honey. write me soon! xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Jan 26, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

i watched myself...ate really well all day....

and binged like mad when i got home. at first i had attempted to just have a bag of popcorn and 3 red peppers....but then, the gates opened and there was nothing that could stop me. i had everything i could get my hands on.

at least 4500 calories. sheesh.

so, i've learned, don't try to eat too little after a binge....i've known this from past experiences. perhaps i shouldn't put any pressure on myself to lose weight. because i still haven't succeeded to lose any. if i didn't have to study, weightloss would be so much more simple with little stress once coming home from a full day. oh well.

so, now my avg calories per day, last 7 days, are: 2661

ok, i don't have any major goals this week except to eat around 1500 the next 4 days.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

WI3 on 01/26/2009:
HOP, I hate to say it...but stress will always be a factor in all of our lives. It would be lovely if all stress stopped once we walked into the door of our respective homes, but it just finds a way to follow us around lol. While I don't study for classes, I still have three children who are driving me out of my mind..my baby, my daughter, is into some serious trouble right now..very serious trouble. My second oldest, doesn't talk to me. My oldest, has turned his back on me. And that stuff hurts me every day and circulates around and around in my head. And the one source of comfort that I do have, Brian, isn't always what I need, when I need him. And as that relationship evolves, there are also stresses that go with it. In addition, the nature of my job means that I carry responsibility with me 24 hours a day..not to mention other familial, financial and multitude of other worries, stresses, and deadlines. If we wait to be stress free before we lose weight or find a way to get help/control the overeating, we'd all balloon up to 500 pounds in a hurry. Remember when you were working at the school and you were stressed every day? You weren't studying then, but you still had job/life stress. It never goes away, there isn't a perfect balance..but there are days that are far better than others. So instead of defeating yourself by saying 'if I didn't have to study'...realize that the pressure of study is something that is real in your life, and either you have to forgive yourself for indulging as a way to cope with that stress, or come up with a different plan of attack. I will suggest to you as I have to others...take calcium and magnesium together at night. I'm telling you it does something to calm down the mind and help the nervous system. I didn't think it would work either, but it really does.

I'm not bagging on you by any means..and God knows I sure have had my days and have gained back soooooo much weight...but I don't like to see you doing the 'what ifs' when it is something that is a very real part of your life and isn't going away. Even when you get your perfect job, your own place, and a great boyfriend...there will always be something that stresses you out and makes you want to bury that stress in a plate of food. And that is what we are ALL dealing with. So we do know exactly how you feel. And the trick we are all trying to learn is how to not bury it in food.

Have a great evening...and remember, the week is almost over!

skinnyjeans on 01/27/2009:
That's cool you took your averages from the last week..that will help you monitor your intake and make small changes in the right direction. :)

skinnyfatgirl on 01/27/2009:
binge eating is part of an eating disorder..

ever talk to anyone about it?

I have an eating disorder.. so please don't take offense

YepItsMe~ on 01/27/2009:
I too am a MAJOR stress eater so I completely understand~I have to agree with WI too~Stress is something we can never totally escape from..there will always be some form of stress in our lives~the key is dealing with it.

Hang in there~

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jan 25, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

in a prior entry a ways ago i wrote how i did best on the weekend when i exercised in the morning...right away...didn't put it off...i'm going to have to put this back into action since today i did the opposite.

i ended up binging today.... so that would be the 5th time this month. ehhhh, not good.

the binge included: yogurt 200, cereal w. milk 350, grilled cheese w. butter 650, ICE CREAM pint rum raisin1,000 total here: 1300 yuck.

total today: around 3200.  not as bad as 5500. but still this is bad. and i just wrote in in an entry this morning how i was making an EXTRA effort to NOT let this happen. haha...back to routine in the morning.

exercise was slim the whole weekend. not really any.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

WI3 on 01/25/2009:
Actually, that isn't bad at all. I've eaten out of my calorie range three times this month. Don't focus on the five days, focus on the 20. All is not lost..keep going!

mama_nurse on 01/25/2009:
Tomor is a new day :)) Don't beat yourself up about this, just pick yourself back up and move forward (which it sounds like you are planning to do anyway) :) Which is what matters most :)

Genesis on 01/25/2009:
It's not as bad as you think. 3200 calories is a manageable number so don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes, I think, your body just needs a day to give in and eat those comfort foods otherwise those five days of the month might have turned into those 20 days where you ate normally. It's going to happen sometimes so don't get too upset about it. You are doing wonderfully!!! Have a happy MOnday!!

thinnside40 on 01/25/2009:
You know what it is that works best now... To make the effort to succeed is the hard part.. I KNOW!

GOod Monday thoughts your way!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Jan 23, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

Sunday entry:

all is good.  i am really going to continue my conscious effort to eat well today.  I feel good. I am not going to yoga because i'm going to the gym for an hour on the elliptical and then i'll be spending my day studying and getting everything organized for the week ahead.  i'll do yoga either tomorrow or tuesday. i have realized that i DO need to up the cardio which i pretty much did away with a couple months ago while getting back into yoga.  i did miss the cardio a lot. :)  the truth is there needs to be balance and everyone needs cardio if they don't always get it during the workday.

breakfast: lg apricot 50, small apple 80, cell-nique drink 90: 220 :) lg tea.

pre gym: approx. 100 cals of edamame! good!....gosh, warm banana and pumpkin, cinnamon: 180.

lunch: veggie burgers on rice cakes , cooked veggies, yogurt 530

total so far: 1030

ha, still no gym...i'm gonna memorize some schoolwork first.

snacks: gave in and had some temptations: popcorn 240, crackers 260, yogurt w. cinnamon/pumpkin on 3 rice cakes: 250, apricot: 50...eesh. 800 wowsa.

my goal for today is 1750 calories. can't go too low when i spend the day at home...otherwise i get tempted to binge when i'm forcing myself to eat like 1200 cal or something.


Saturday entry:

total cal: 1950 - good day. no binging. past 5 days averages 2285 calories per day. still a bit high for even maintenance levels. by tuesday though i can get my averages down by having a few more lower cal days. then, i have to stick with it so that i manage some weightloss. not much binging since the new year (only the four days) so i've been having to work to maintain and not gain weight. that's basically what i have accomplished so far since Jan 1.  now i am trying to kick it up a notch, and manage weightloss by really managing binging even more so that i don't have to work to maintain but actually lose weight.

Breakfast: apple, yogurt w. added pumpkin, cinnamon.  230 :)

early 11am lunch: large protein bar, few berries: 340

snacks at grandmas: bag popcorn, cellniques (up to 2) 410...iced coffee from DD

snack coming home: soyjoy bar 130 :)

1170 so far....yogurt w. cinnamon (trying to delay dinner and have a small snack bc its only 6pm...) so 1300.

dinner:  must have some veggies....

i have NOT been how drunk i was last night since...i think i was more intoxicated last night (especially since after hot yoga) than i was at the holiday party in october. i drink rarely, btw. the phone conversation lasted just under 5 hours. so it was good. but we were drunk on both ends so it was very very funny a lot of the time. but all in all a good conversation.

i also may have had more than 1250 cals last night because i know that i may have had more than 4 shots of alcohol in my drinks. most probably closer to 6 (but i didn't measure/count so if it really added up to 4 calorie-wise that's about 200 less calories).

so calories for yesterday i'm estimating at 1400 instead of 1250. :) it's ok. was worth it....but i will NOT do a repeat tonight. i've drank enough for one weekend!

my past 4 days including today are still a little over in calories: 2368 cal per day.

so, even though i did well the past few days i have still not broken even on calories consumed/calories used. so of course this means i must continue my healthy eating. because i am ready to lose the weight, obviously.


Friday entry:

dinner:some replinishments packet kinda stuff after HOT yoga....followed by 2 cups of Kahlua and diet coke. I'm calling this guy....lol...and i told him to have something to drink to....(he always drinks, so nothing new....hard to explain to you right now) anyways, i doubt he's got feelings for me but i need to get it all off my chest....AGAIN...i think i did this like a year ago to him.....arg! he's in florida and this is going to be VERY interesting. but, so far so good...it seems he's calmer than the last time this happened.... haha

calories around 1250 today.

breakfast: tea, apricot large. 50

snacks cellniques, coffee: 220

lunch: HEALTHY! finally. haha. edamame and spaghetti squash. 250

snack: large protein bar, so hungry. 310

total so far: 830.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

Maria* on 01/23/2009:
Hoping you're having a happy day, Friend. Big smile to you!!!

see_maw on 01/23/2009:
MMMMMMMMM Kahlua ... I have soem White Russian Mix in my fridge that I have to look at every time I open the fridge door.

Good luck with the dude!!

mama_nurse on 01/23/2009:
Good luck:)

panda22 on 01/23/2009:
HAPPY FRIDAY HOP! Glad to hear you've had a good day and are off to a good start to your weekend! =D

thinnside40 on 01/23/2009:
2 cups of Kahlua to how much diet coke?.. Just kidding...I'm sure you meant 2 cups all together Just made me laugh when I first read it..... Your day looks pretty good again.... YEP YEP YEP!!!!! GREAT!

Genesis on 01/23/2009:
Good Luck with the guy, they can be a lot of fun but a lot of trouble all at the same time :0) !! Great job oon the calories. What are "cellniques"? I'll have to google that, i've never heard of them. HAve a great weekend!!

loveray on 01/24/2009:
sounds like fun- i dont remember the last time i "drunk dialed"...haha. with this cleanse and not drinking since october im pretty sure id be trashed with one drink...love you girl!

WI3 on 01/24/2009:
See, the week is over :)

mcwoo40 on 01/24/2009:
Julie woz ere,have a healthy Saturday

loveray on 01/24/2009:
this is weird, but what kind of popcorn do you eat? i have been eating that jolly time kettle corn and its getting old...any suggestions? xoxo

mama_nurse on 01/24/2009:
pumpkin in yogurt sounds sooooo good....do you just mix it in vanilla yogurt??? HAVE A GREAT DAY

mama_nurse on 01/24/2009:
Yummm! I LOVE pumpkin! I'm going to try it! :) Thanks for the tip!

thinnside40 on 01/24/2009:
Another good day!...... YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mama_nurse on 01/25/2009:
have a good workout:)

rimaima on 01/25/2009:
replying to your comment. Pakistanis don't pray all the time. in fact, most are not any more religious than anyone else, except in the small villages. hahaha, all my husband's cousins were thin, and back when I was there in 2006 I was not that big but i felt like a cow next to them. they are crazy about being thin over there. they want to have their collar bones poking out, like it's some kind of beauty trade mark. but once they have their first kid, they don't care so much anymore. :-)

Donkey on 01/25/2009:
Donkey was here, cheering you on!!!

Maria* on 01/25/2009:
Hope you're having a good day! (smile!)

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jan 22, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

breakfast: apple, tea 80

snacks: cellniques 170

lunch: some hot pretzel, lg coffee: 330

snacks after work, dinner: dd flatbread 290, yogurt w. pumpkin, cinnamon and 3 choc pops 330, seasoned veggies 100, 3 red peppers 120. total: 840

total: 1420. more than i wanted.

1 hr elliptical....

50 apricot.

total 1470.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

starfish on 01/22/2009:
1420 is still great! I think your total for the day will be fine :-)

Maria* on 01/22/2009:
FANTASTIC...calories and exercise! Get some rest and take care of yourself.

thinnside40 on 01/22/2009:
I'm tooting my horn for you H_O_P!!!!!toootoootoootooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!

selina on 01/23/2009:
Fantastic day, HoP! Grocery Store: I usually know exactly what I need to get at the supermarket, except at the fruits and veggies section, where I choose whatever looks good and I weigh and label them by myself - time consuming. They don't have scales for the produce at the cashier/counter, like they do in the US. Also, I need to shop for my whole family - it's a lot of stuff. Last night I spent just about 300 francs (about 250 dolars) just for the basic food, nothing fancy.... But, I know that cost of living is high in NYC, too!....

loveray on 01/23/2009:
thank you, i love you -you are doing so well and you are committed to your journey- keep clearing the cobwebs even when it feels like you cant do it anymore. Happy Friday!

WI3 on 01/23/2009:
Just wanted to stop by and say "Have a wonderful diet day!" :)

mcwoo40 on 01/23/2009:
two good days in a row,yippee keep it up girl, Julie

skinnyjeans on 01/23/2009:
1470 cals and an hour on the elliptical? Awesome!!! Happy Friday!

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jan 21, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

how can i go from being from happy to sad in just 2 hours?? i went to yoga, started at my once again even fatter body in the mirror and now am disgusted with myself. ugh. so right now i'm drinking some stuff to replenish...do some reading for a class....go to bed. there is one thing that annoys me about myself. i'm 26 and i see a lot of 26 year olds with great bodies - and they know nothing about nutrition. i know a lot and i waste it. i count calories just to count - but do nothing to keep them low. i give into temptation. what is the point of counting the calories!? ugh ugh ugh.

ok, i'm not really angry. i'm just frustrated. 140 lbs is WAY too much. so unhealthy. and i sucked at yoga after not going for one whole week straight - and not doing much of any exercise inbetween. that's what happens when i'm in school. i've always found it hard to balance studying. but the GREAT thing is that i'll be done studying in 1.5 years. time flies. but in the meantime i've got to realize that life is tough and you have to roll with the punches...

total calories ended up being: 1100. fine by me.



its a brand new day!  ..flirting BIG time on facebook with a friend of mine from Florida. hopefully not too much as i don't want him to get uncomfortable...could you believe there are guys that would rather not flirt? hmmm....lol. this is me, mumbling.

have a MUCH better day.

breakfast, snacks: apple, 2 cellniques 250 (look it up online cell-nique.com)

lunch: hot preztel with kechup/mustard and small coffee 400

snack: protein/energy/fiber bar on way home 240

snack again: strawberries 60

after yoga: fluids.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

loveray on 01/21/2009:
YAY! there she is. xoxo

panda22 on 01/21/2009:
=D Yes it is! Hope you have a great one!

thinnside40 on 01/21/2009:
Yes indeed it is!... Yes indeed!

I'll look for an update and hope for a great report!

thinnside40 on 01/21/2009:
"i'm not done and i'll never give up on myself. the journey has just begun and i'm not done"

Glad to see a "good day" for you..... Truly am!

mama_nurse on 01/21/2009:
Glad you are having such a great day:)

panda22 on 01/21/2009:
=) Good for you for jumping back on track today! Lol @ the flirting thing...I can believe it and I could see your eyes rolling as you typed it lol. Hope it all works out for you! See you tomorrow! Hope it's as good a day as today was for ya! Night Night

loveray on 01/22/2009:
i know you are frustrated, but you know this is just a blip on the screen. the larger picture tells me that there is some "stuff" way underneath the binge cycle that just hasnt come to the surface yet. dig deep my friend, you are WAY more than worth it: trust yourself, trust your heart and be kind to your body. xoxo

mcwoo40 on 01/22/2009:
Looks like a good day for you yesterday, make it another one today.Take care HOP, Julie

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jan 20, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

you wouldn't believe it....but despite all my eating today i'm still SO GRATEFUL that i took the day off...you have NO idea!  as long as i get right back into exercise tomorrow and keep it up, i'll be alright with no serious weight gain. but  now i must see how many times i've binged since the New YEar....hmmm...only 4.

so, that equals 1/5 of the days of this year. better than 1/2 and that was what i was averaging...binging every other day - BEFORE The new year. so, i need to stop the madness...tomorrow will probably be HARD after today. but all is good in the world and i am not worried.  i was actually looking quite nice yesterday before the food attack today.


so i made the mistake of going out to dinner last night and not studying NEAR enough for our test this morning even though we are not having class.  and well, i've hard perfect attendance thus far since september so i'm taking today off. it's a clinical day, so i'm not missing class just experience in the hospital which we are actually allowed to make up on our vacations. So, i'll be studying today for the test i should have taken this morning as well as the two tests we have on Wednesday. If i didn't take today off i would not do well at all.

so, restating, i'm taking today off. when i got home last night around 9pm i had no concentration and this morning i knew i wouldn't be able to memorize everything in just an hour. i feel bad taking the day off but in my heart i know i'm doing the RIGHT thing.

big breakfast: pb sandwich w. banana, pumpkin, cinnamon: 520, granola/cereal w. milk: 570, 2 choc ice cream pops 120....big bag chips 650 throughout morning (need to calculate...)...today is not the day to be strict....don't ask. Total: 1860 for breakfast.

3 fudge bars 180

banana 120, crackers 330, yogurt 190

grilled cheese 550

cookies 350

yogurt 200

3850 12pm...

ice cream 500

totellini 200

what am i forgetting??

total: 4550. there is something i forgot to list...crazy day.

grilled cheese....550 again.... later 2 cellniques. 200 more...

total today: approx. 5500. GREAT DAY. JUST KIDDING! but, good thing, it's over! :)

good week to everyone....it can ONLY get better :) and i'm happy for that. thanks for your caring comments. and i am certainly glad i took today off. :) and next time, i'll spend it wiser.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

loveray on 01/20/2009:
hang in there, i miss you! xo

WI3 on 01/20/2009:
When I am getting ready to have a rough week, I always tell myself that the week is almost over. I don't dwell on how long it is LOL Sometimes it is the only way I keep my sanity =) I would have stayed home today as well! Good plan!

skinnyfatgirl on 01/20/2009:
don't let stress take over!.. taking the day off is good.. hang in there!

Justine6Robert3 on 01/20/2009:
Sounds like a good plan to take the day off and study.....I'm sure you'll do great! Hang in there HOP!

mcwoo40 on 01/20/2009:
Try and get a grip of those cals this afternoon.I have gone overboard with them too and the day has'nt finished yet.Stay strong,Julie

skinnyjeans on 01/20/2009:
EXCELLENT attitude! And you are right...most of your 2009 days have been GREAT! :)

legcramps on 01/20/2009:
For as many times as you mentioned you were taking the day off in your entry, I have a feeling you weren't just feeling bad about it, you were feeling REALLY bad about it, weren't you?! Everyone needs a break from their regular routine. I know you've heard this before, in fact, you just wrote it in the comments on one of my recent entries, so I know you know all about this. I just wanted to re-iterate for you. Everyone needs a break.

loveray on 01/20/2009:
yea i had a BIG deadline today...had to come in :( i feel better today, but hope to get some rest again tonight! xoxo

WI3 on 01/20/2009:
Get some rest and just get up tomorrow and do it! You will be fine!

thinnside40 on 01/20/2009:
Sounds like taking the day off was worth it for you... Good!

Panda22 on 01/20/2009:
You have a good attitude about getting back on track! That's awesome with your progress on minimizing the binging...that's a HUGE step! Hang in there and we'll see you tomorrow! Have a good night! =D

loveray on 01/21/2009:
hope your day gets easier today...thinking of you!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Jan 19, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

going out to dinner was somewhat ****ty. 5 of us but one of us was tooting their horn all night and it wasn't pleasant listening. i don't mean literally tooting their horn, i mean talking way too much about themself and their accomplishments. way too much! sorry, just getting some hostility off my chest.

dinner: soup, grilled octopus salad! around 500 possibly? not much. :) maybe 600, but i'm counting 500.

total: 1350-1400 yay! great day. aside from dinner conversation. BUT, i'm glad i went and i ONLY went because of ONE person. a student of mine previously, now a sophmore in college. she is a wonderful person and that is why i went. and no, it wasn't her with the obnoxious level of ego. thankfully. :)


25 min on treadmill...ankle bothering me today...so that's it. no yoga, out to dinner in this damn snow because crazy people i'm going out with want to drive in this mess when i'd rather be home and studying for sure! ugh.

2 hour delay! wahoo!

breakfast: apple

snack: cellnique

snack: cellnique

lunch: hot pretzel, coffee 400

snack: cellnique...830 cal before dinner.

dinner: out to eat...probably a salad choices limited....

two tests today...but what i'm REALLY looking foward to is Thursday when most of this long, test filled week, is finished!

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

Maria* on 01/19/2009:
Hope you have a nice day, HOP!!! Smile!

thinnside40 on 01/19/2009:
Was it a "snow" delay or other bad weather?.... We are suppose to get a bit of snow sometime today....

Have a terrific day!

Mom_of_Fred on 01/19/2009:
Hi! What is cellnique?

see_maw on 01/19/2009:

mama_nurse on 01/19/2009:
good luck on your tests!!!! Have a great day1

skinnyfatgirl on 01/19/2009:
what is cellnique

WI3 on 01/19/2009:
Hang in there! The week is almost over!!!

Maria* on 01/19/2009:
Your cals look real good!!! Yayyy!!!

rockingrobyn on 01/19/2009:
s also wondering what cellnique is?I think that's great you can go out to eat.I'm not comfortable with it yet

mama_nurse on 01/19/2009:
whats your favorite cellnique flavors?

thinnside40 on 01/19/2009:
ICK!. Nothing like going out with "1" good friend bunched with annoying ones.... Doesn't sound like fun t'a;;...

Glad your #'s were good for ya today despite the poor company.... {{hugs}}

selina on 01/20/2009:
You did very well with cals, today! Yay!

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jan 18, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

like selina said, cheers to a brand new week!

8am Breakfast: lg tea, apple, cellnique 170

9am snack: 2 breyer's fruit on the bottom yogurts w. a teaspoon of colon care fiber supplement in each (psyllium husk i think - i bought it months ago)!  that should help the satisfying factor and it did. 350

12 lunch: dunkin donuts flatbread 290 was good!

2-3pm snacks at grandma's: 2 cellniques 170

dinner: lasigna meal 300, romaine and little dressing 30, yellow pepper 30, spag. squash w. little dressing 100, 4 weight watchers chocolate bars 240 total: 700 eh. a bit high but not a binge at all.

total calories: 1700 alright. i had a good day and i will have an even better week with calories. that's my goal. 

avg calories of sat and sun: 2150. not great but not the worst. aiming to do better the rest of the week. :)

it's a new day and i'm taking that as a wonderful thing.  Today is the 18th and I plan on weighing below 130 by the end of the month - or within 2 lbs of it.


Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

skinnyjeans on 01/18/2009:
Hi HOP! I hope you had a nice weekend! I want to try those flatbread sandwiches..they look good!

Maria* on 01/18/2009:
YYYYYaaayyyy!!! I see that just because you ate a little extra, you are not giving up! What a wonderful inspiration you are to me!

thinnside40 on 01/18/2009:
Here's to a great 19th!

selina on 01/19/2009:
You are doing well, HoP! Keep it up!

hopinforachange on 01/19/2009:
Doing good! I hope you have a great week!

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jan 17, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 137.0

although today was a binge day, i am happy with my progress and am not in the least bit worried that i am not going to progress. tomorrow i'm not going to yoga and will be at the gym again. 1 hour on the treadmill and back into yoga come monday.

8:30 am breakfast: smoothie: glass milk 90, chocolate protein powder 100, strawberries 50, ice, 1/2 cup pumpkin 40, cinnamon. it tuned out a little thin.  280. :) about 3 cups total.

10:30 snack: large grapefruit120

Noon: luna bar 180

2pm: gym - elliptical 1 hr which felt sooo good after not doing cardio for probably 2 weeks! (no yoga today)

3:30pm snack: bag popcorn, peppers, tomatoes 340...apple, maybe cellnique haha i was trying not to have any cellnique this weekend total 510

early dinner: can of soup: 300...followed by a small binge: pb and banana sandwich: 800 total: 1100

calorie total right now: 2200...more pb: 2400 eh. ...2500...2600not really that bad.

i will NOT drink any cellniques this weekend :)...uh oh...i ordered them and they came today...i might have to have one. we'll see!

school has been really stressful lately. i never thought i'd have to face the couple situations or so that i've been in since september. i guess in general life is a learning experience and what bothers some people doesn't even raise a hair in others. i generally have a tendency to get worked up, bothered, or stressed over little things so now i see how important it is to NOT let classmates see this. now, i am not "worked up and hot and bothered" on a general basis at school. not at all. it was just something that happened these past two weeks and a sitution that got worse because i listened to the advice of my classmates - just certain classmates - and i think they may have intentionally gave me BAD advice. so i've been stressed as i took the advice and the situation got worse. for now on, i'll go to my parents or people outside of school for advice since my classmates will just take me as somehow who gets bothered by everything and is always seeking advice which doens't look very good on my behalf. it's too long of a story to write here as to what happened. but if i feel i need any advice after monday next week i'll end up typing it out! basically, it was all about misunderstandings.

take care.

Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

panda22 on 01/17/2009:
Hey HOP sorry to hear about all of the stress at school lately =( I hope you are able to find some time to yourself to just unwind and get away from it all for a bit! Wish you a happy and relaxing weekend! Hang in there! **hugs**

skinny on 01/17/2009:
I hope thing get better. I am in my own craziness right now and can totally relate. Being almost 40 with small children is a major handicap while being in a RN program. Hang in there, you'll do great as long as you try, trust yourself first and foremost, it will be over before you know it and fake it 'til you make it. I am trying to make this my mantra!

uncgrad2001 on 01/17/2009:
Thanks for the tip! That's the problem I have sometimes when I do pack my lunch...I feel like I'm hungrier than what I have, and then I want to eat out. I guess I have to add some healthy things to it too!

Maria* on 01/17/2009:
Watch out for that peanut butter! They've got a RECALL going on some of it!!!! FOR REAL!!!!!!!!

I admire you, cause even though, like me, you have BINGES (yes, I'm SO familiar with them), you don't give up and you still exercise and you keep a close watch on the scale so you don't go up too much...so do I...it just seems that SOME DAYS I just HAVE to eat more to feel good....??? I know this isn't helping get to goal....BUT!!!!...I believe that 'Not Gaining IS Progress!!!'.... SMILE!!!

thinnside40 on 01/17/2009:
Misunderstandings are some of the hardest to get straightened out and sometimes never can be.. Very trying!

Especially when someone isn't willing to accept that is WAS a misunderstanding... and not actual truth... If that makes sense?!?!?!?!?

Have a great Sunday!

selina on 01/18/2009:
Cheers to a brand new week!

mcwoo40 on 01/18/2009:
Hope you have a good day,Julie

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