Breakfast: lg tea, lg apricot 50
snack: cellnique 90
snack: apple 80
lunch/snack: cellnique 90 (if you wanna know what this is, look it up online they have a site)
3:30 afternoon larger snack: DD flatbread 290, medium iced coffee 50
snack tea
5:00 snack: grapefruit very large 130
5:30 early dinner: 5 rice cakes (two used as a sandwich for my burger)200, veggie burger 70, mustard/ketchup 20.
late dinner? 8pm: microwave meal, veggies 400
total 1470 alright. didn't go hungry this afternoon, that's for sure! probably a bit much in the later hours but i like the feeling of being satisfied at night.
no exercise...maybe 20 min on the treadmill later....but i think i will do cardio tomorrow morning and yoga later. only ONE yoga class! i also may go visit my grandmother tomorrow instead of sunday...yeah...
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
it seems that soon enough i'm going to have to have a LONG talk with my teachers. my energy is low so i'll update you all at some point about this. i'm plain ol' exhasuted now.
breakfast: 700 large bagel, two slices melted american cheese, butter
lunch: 100 cellnique
snack: small apple, large apricot: 120...followed shortly by dinner
dinner: red peppers 40, tomato 40, brussel sprouts 80, scallion 10, assorted frozen veggies 75, spray 100, 2 alright boca burgers 140, 4 rice cakes 160, and a grapefruit lage for dessert 120 total: around 800
total today: 1720
was on my feet for most of the day. no exercise. back to yoga Friday night. took 2 days off. somehow, this week sucked more than last week. however, the program is going well - at least in my mind. having some MAJOR issues with a couple ( i think) classmates. I'm a little worried at how EVIL people can be. backstabbers - i didn't think people would actually go this far. i'm really upset, not putting the blame where it shouldn't be. meaning, i know who is to blame and its not me.
it seems i sometimes have issues getting people to understand what i mean. by that, i mean i get myself into situations where what i not intentionally say/do gets me in trouble. so, this is why i need to have a talk with my teachers ASAP before things go from BAD to WORSE. i thought that problems like this would NEVER show they're ugly heads EVER again in my life.
a job i had 3 years ago had some situations in it like this. and those types of things never happened again until now. i HOPE it is the case that everyone gets into dilemnas and i hope the real problem/people get a BIG awakening. the nerve.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Sorry this is happening......
upset with myself and with life right now. i plan on working through this because in the past two days i've had about 5500 excess calories which means about 1.5 pounds of weight i could have LOST I have gained instead. this puts me back about a week in terms of weightloss.
what else? i'm just nervous and upset. some people in my class piss me off when they don't study but think it's ok to have 8 tests next week and NOT even agree with me to ask the teacher to put one off till the next week. too many tests. i study more for some than others and do pretty well on them all. however, there's one subject that needs more concentration from myself and from how the teachers are teaching it and we don't. it seems nobody really cares.
i'm just really frustrated right now as i'm having trouble balancing my EASY life. all i have is school and to try to maintain a gym or yoga (right now yoga) schedule. it doesn't get any easier than this. i don't have a family to cook for or a boyfriend to call. why can't i just deal with school and succeed with a happy state of mind and be able to release my worries and lose weight?
so yesterday was 5,000 calories. approx. 4500 today..
today was rough and so was last night. what a horrible feeling.
today ended with a big binge.
400 cals spread throughout the workday because i wanted to have some calories to use right now....4pm.
big late afternoon healthy meal: sauteed, 2 red peppers 80, scallion10, 3 servings mushrooms not so good 110, tofu90, added in cucumber30, two small packages seasoned veggies 240 , spray 100TOTAL: around 660
gave in and ate some stuff: crackers: 400, cereal 500, milk 80, chocolate 80
1.5 bananas 150, 2 yogurts220, pb 250
more pb on rice cakes 680
ice cream 750
bagel with cream cheese 430?
total today...i need a calculator for this one...: 4500 go me. not exactly.
ugh. i don't want to go to school the rest of the week ( i never take off...so i'll definitely be there....i feel like i need another vacation. school is really stressful right now.)
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Get some rest!
You never know, maybe you aren't eating enough calories for your weight and fitness level and you are getting the boomerang diet affect? I know you know about how many calories to eat and all, but maybe allow yourself a couple hundred extra calories to play with and if you don't eat them for a few days, then 'bank' them and splurge one day so you don't feel guilty and set yourself up for days of 'I screwed up' mindset. Yeah, after that one day of a binge you'll weigh more until the food works through your digestive system, but it wouldn't be real weight gain. Or maybe you can bank the extra calories for a couple of weeks and then have a solid week where you use the extra calories?
Take care of yourself!
i cannot sleep and doubt i'll be going to yoga on Wednesday. none of this is good.
BINGE: partially not sure why but it doesn't matter. 4 servings chips 600: , 2 servings crackers: 260, ice cream: 240
total: 2680. i might have more. cookies...3800...pint of ice cream...4800...i feel really, really sick.
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BREAKFAST: large snickers marathon bar. i wanted something bigger since i was going to be on my feet most of the day. 300
SNACK: cellnique 85
LUNCH: hot pretzel, mustard, ketchup, decaf coffee...around 420
SNACK: balance bar (which i bought bc it doesn't have fiber because i'm sick of being bloated during yoga!)
dinner: BIG. big grapefruit 120, lean cuisine 230, cucumbers 60, 2 rice cakes 80, yogurt 90. total: 580 which is just fine.
total: around 1580. happy with this. active day at school/work and then yoga. yoga wasn't that great especially my performance at the start of class. but it WAS necessary i went. i want to treat my yoga practice like brushing teeth - a necessary everyday activity.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Better days ahead!
I have the same problem with binging and it's a huge battle in my life as well. It sucks because there really is no cure for it, but keep fighting! We are all here for you!!
if i keep this up, i BETTER see a loss! soon, i'm going to not believe the calories on these cellnique drinks...as well as a few other packaged foods. because i really should have lost weight by now...but i also am not doing cardio, only hot yoga. so, well see...and we'll see if i have to change up my routine. however, i'm not giving up or changing anything yet. because i know i burn a lot in yoga and the weight is just "weighting" to come off!
wow! i was CRAVING central today. whew. glad most of the day is done. and such BORING stuff today in class so it was hard to remain focussed and ignore the signals of my body all day. i felt like i was going through a detox from all the mounds of food i was eating all weekend. not a lot of calories, but lots of actual food consumed despite. so today was a break for my body but not my mind!
breakfast later at school 8am: apple, protein/green drink: 170
10am snack: drink 90
noon lunch light: soy chips, coffee w. lot of milk 290 i think the coffee left me shakey. so, i guess i need to watch caffeine when i eat so light. didn't realize the chips wouldn't just soak it up.
4pm SNACK: SO HUNGRY. marathon bar w. lots of protein/fiber 290
dinner 7:30pm: microwavable meal, 100 cal worth of veggies. total: 450 which is good. blah...and 2 mini apricots 50
total: 1350 yay! except for the part about still not really losing anything! i think i have gained muscle from my yoga practice. i can feel it! :)
so much love right now.
yoga today for sure.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Have a great evening!
Sometimes caffeine can surely make a person jittery!!!
Hope you have a wonderful evening! Love, Maria
glad to see you going strong. I can't drink a lot of caffeine if I eat light, does the same thing! Keep up the great work!
MONDAY MORNING QUICK EDIT: well, well. i weigh myself fully intending to see 135...but NO! it's still high up there around 137-138! what's up with that!?? i ate dinner EARLY and weighed on an empty stomach (although i do have some waste in my system still.) darn. i know the lower numbers will come, so i'm not worried...just antsy for them to come already!
____________________________________________
SUNDAY:
what i learned about sunday mornings: get my ass to the gym or yoga no matter how bad i feel. don't eat a big breakfast which prevents me from going to the gym.
i weiged myself in clothing and thought it would be below 135. but not so much - scale said 137. eesh. i'm not upset and i hope to have a big loss by Friday.
feeling sooo snacky today. probably because of all the yoga yesterday.
breakfast: bran crackers eaten like cereal, milk: 230, tea
Snack: huge grapefruit, cellnique 220
lunch: canned salmon w. bbq sauce, a redpepper. yogurt after 240
binge right after lunch: 5 slices cinnamon rasin bread 440
snack at grandma's: 2 red peppers: 80
dinner: large more than a pint serving of sauteed collard greens (i think around 230?)that i bought the other day from a health food store with fried tofu (i know this was 200, package said so)...and, naughty me, a low carb energy drink 20 bc i gave into temptation on the way home. total: around 450 but i could be off on the sauteed greens. i hope not!
total cal today: amazingly 1660 approx. calories. i didn't give in at the end and this is a pretty good amount if i say so myself. of course, i'm really unsure on the sauteed greens i had at dinner (HUGE portion) but at least it was healthy.
i am just happy i didn't ruin the day. boy would that be unfortunate. i cannot ruin it this time around. this is my last shot before the spring, before my friend's wedding, and for me. i MUST lose weight this time. meaning, by the end of this month, I BETTER be below 130. i must do it for myself. i will not live in this fat body ANY LONGER. i will NOT!
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Hope you have a wonderful visit with your GM...please give her a hug for me.
good morning.
i almost gave into a peanut butter or other high calorie temptation but instead chose a low cal drink to satisfy myself after breakfast.
breakfast: 2 cellniques, large grapefuit: 280
yoga10:30-12:00
12pm: snack before my SECOND hot yoga class: cellnique...and...
yoga 12:30-2:00 ...coconut water during yoga: 140.
snack while picking up a few things: large iced coffee 100 (520 so far)
3pm lunch: lots of yogurt, bran, banana about 500 cal.
snack at 5pm: a whole pint, packed!, of grilled veggies with olive oil. estimate: 250?
snack: kombucha...60
late dinner: 9:00pm...too late obviously...some terrible soup so i threw most away 100, and tofu/cucumbers in balsamic vinegar 220
total: 1650 or so...ehh, i will aim for lower cal tomorrow but i know not to be too strict or it'll backfire which is NOT in my plans.
i did two yoga classes in a row today! just a half hour break in between. i hadn't planned on two...just decided it while doing the warmup during my first class. i was a bit nervous because it is hot yoga, lots of sweating and you really have to make sure you are hydrated and have enough energy to repeat the class again when it's over! i was glad i decided to stay. and yes, i had to start the second class pretty much very wet and with a wet towel on my mat since i wasn't prepared with more than that. in the future, i may do doubles one day on some weekends when i have the time. 3 hours of yoga total. and it was a VERY good experience. I can only thank myself for sticking with yoga and having a positive attitude with myself to be able to accomplish this. and i did pretty well in both classes. :)
Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!
But just the oddest sensation to catch yourself like that.
Thanks for what you wrote to me. It helped a lot.
Hope you have a wonderful evening!!!
dinner was too sugary. a large grapefruit, large orange, seaweed salad again which deffinitely is marked too low in calories!, piece tofu, cellnique. too much food but i'm not going back for more. i should have had one less fruit, no seaweed salad. total: around 500
total cal today: 1620 still ok. hopefully i'm not really too off with calories...
i went to yoga, it was worth it. will go in the AM.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i promise to comment tonight on all your entries!
happy friday, happy weekend. i need it! i want to just throw in the towel and not do yoga tonight, but why!? why should i mess with good health because i'm tired. yoga will make me feel better. it's what my body needs and it's like a medicine. i have to remember this...always.
breakfast: apple, cellnique (you can look it up to see what it is online) 170
snack: drink 80 cellnique
lunch: a healthy (jk) hot pretzel w. ketchup/mustard and a coffee w. extra milk 420
snack: a little large so i am going to the later yoga class for sure. whole bag popcorn, 250, and a package of a store bought seaweed salad. i bought two of them, not sure if i believe the calories are really this low and there's a bit much garlic. not sure if i'll buy again. 200 (450 total) i've been VERY munchy these past few days...due to being TIRED! this is what lack of sleep does to a person.
total so far: 1120
i can keep it in the 1500s. this would be really good.
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
Breakfast: stopped at DD for a bagel w. egg but didn't eat it all! wow. 300
snack: NONE. CRAZY MORNING.
lunch: Large Hot Pretzel with ketchup/mustard, coffee. 500
snack: green/protein drink, shot wheatgrass
400...plus 130 (lots of broccoli rab with pine nuts/raisins seasoned/oil from health food store!, 2 whole cucumbers, tofu...small orange, small apple)
total: 1430.
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this is short because i have used all my anger crying...but luckily i have gotten that out of my system. perhaps i'll talk about it tomorrow.
but after posting today's calories, i had to come on here again to say that in the past week, calories were not over 1550 i believe. now that IS progress. I went from binging every other day for months straight to keeping calories in check starting with the New Year. I am very happy.
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
Hang in there!
Sorry you had a bad day.... Crying can do wonders though.... Check back on ya tomorrow... Get some sleep!
Oh the last paragraph in my entry isn't speaking to anyone here..just in general about how sometimes some things make you want to lose weight the right way and not by starvation and pills. I don't think anyone here is doing that, just thinking about it out loud I guess lol. Glad you had a good cry...I had one the other night myself =)
Have a great evening and keep up the fantastic work!
breakfast: 170 drink, apple
snack: 80 drink
lunch: big wrap w. turkey and mustard 450
snack: 240 bar
total so far: 940. really tiring day. i NEED to get MORE sleep. i've been going to bed way too late.
dinner: at first i was just planning on a smoothie made with a banana, a pear, some protein/fiber mix, and some light soy milk. all that for just 330 cal. but, i also ate some tofu with a really healthy quart of kale made with seasoning from a health food store. probably around 200 more cal. totaling 530 approx. but it was worth it...plus 2 red peppers (bingy mood!) 80
total cal: 1550which is still good.
i did hot yoga, glad i went! i almost shot it down because i was exhausted! you see, i have to get up early, around 6am....so even going to bed at 11 is too late!
Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
I took your advice and I'm so excited to tell you that I ate a veggie stir fry!!! The best part is I LOVED it! It occured to me that I do like some veggies although I always figured the one's I like aren't all that great for you, that they're more empty veggies.....I don't know....maybe you can shed some light on it for me. I actually love onions, mushrooms, peppers, cucumbers and potatoes. I like raddishes and carrots but only raw, and I'll eat corn but only corn-on-the-cob (which usually involves butter which I'm completely avoiding)
Anyways, I thought since I don't mind some chinese food I picked up bean sprouts at the store and I steamed them with mushrooms, onions & red peppers. Then I added about 4 oz of boneless skinless chicken breast (cooked with no butter, just spiced) then I added it together, put a little bit of soy sauce on it and it was delicious! I know it likely seems like an odd combo but I just put in things that I liked and it was really tasty.....to me at least :0) Now I'm wondering how to put it all into fitday to work out my calories.....hmmmm....
So I don't know how great those kind of veggies are as far as nutrition and vitamins but HOP I ate veggies and liked it, woo-hoo!!! So enough about me but I just had to share this with the "Veggie Queen" herself....you :0)
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RE: Younger @ 26 ~ Yes, you are and that is why at age 40, I wish I would of done what I am doing years ago..... I can't get back those years, nor can I "wish" I would of... I can only go from where I am at the moment each day...
It is about like when a parent tells their child "you'll know what I mean when you become a parent" when the child goes against a rule or can't figure a parent's "worry" mechanism...... I pray that someone in their younger years will see what I have went through in struggles and save theirself many years of anguish & self-loathing a majority of the time.... . But, I didn't want it bad enough I guess before I realized I wasn't getting any younger, nor was this going to get any easier.... BTW ~ hurting knees, headaches, high B.P., etc... are IN THE PAST NOW... Ibuprofen used to be a "600mg-1200mg daily dose", like a government RDA.... I have maybe taken 10 at the most this last year... My kidney's thank me I'm sure...
Have a great weekend & take care.....
thinnside40 on 01/16/2009:
I just read your comment to loveray about edamame.... Our WalMart here has it in the frozen section already shelled... Very reasonably priced too....
grumpy on 01/16/2009:
Looks like you had a good day so far, good job! I will look cellnique up!
WI3 on 01/16/2009:
Good job!
selina on 01/17/2009:
You've done well today, HoP. Only YOU can do it to yourself! Have a great weekend!