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Horn_of_plenty - Saturday May 02, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

turns out 2nite is the concert, not last nite. haha. ended up going to starbucks and seeing a movie with my best friend instead. :)  all is good anyway.

late wakeup today around 9. breakfast: egg 60 and a mix of american and munster cheese 240 on 2 slices whole wheat bread 220, small orange 80 total: 600 good.

snack: bar 180

snack: drink packet 20

dinner at diner:  turkey burger, side steamed broccoli, salad w. little oil, dessert 2 coffees: seriously, no more than 600 if that.

total food today was GREAT: 1400!!!! and i bet i burned close to 2200 today!!!!!!!!! nice job me.

going to the concert 2nite. hopefully the weather will hold up a bit...

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

WI_HashiHypo on 05/02/2009:
Hey there! I hope you've been getting your walking in and taking time to think about nothing! I read something the other day in my Prevention book that said we should take ten minutes each day to be still, do nothing, think of nothing, turn ourselves off for ten minutes a day. Do you know how HARD that is? LOL

As far as the people in your classes, that will never change. Don't allow them to steal your joy, ruin your goals, ruin your future because they are calling you 'pudgy'. Ohhhhh, big tough guy texts a word to you..what an ahole that guy is, right? Thank GOD you don't date him, eh? How did he get your cell number anyway? I'd change my cell number. As hard as it is for you to believe this..you are NOT FAT..I am the same height as you and let me tell you, men thought I was SEXY with those curves. But I worked that curvy frame and I owned a room when I walked into it. Confidence is very sexy, and if you have to FAKE It until you MAKE IT..then DO IT. Even at the weight I am right now, men tell me I am 'hot' or 'sexy' or 'exciting'....and let me tell you this, it isn't because I look good in a bikini. HAHAHAHAHA

Get control of your confidence, let it shine, fake it if you have to, but do not walk with your head down, defeated, depressed and bummed about what you think a mess you are. Life is hard enough without us beating up on ourselves or allowing others to intimidate us.

You won't realize it until later, all this confrontation is actually making you stronger and you will need more strength when you finally are on your own as an independent woman. Perhaps that is why you aren't on your own yet because you aren't ready for it. So hey, take it for what it is worth, learn from the aholes how to ignore them and rock on with your life like a superstar, or let them destroy you.

In the end, those really are our only two choices!

Have a great weekend!

nenak on 05/02/2009:
thanks for the advice and enjoy the concert!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday May 01, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0


i started off on the wrong foot, setting my alarm clock to wake me up at 5:50pm instead of AM. but at least i was up with more than enough time to get ready, even though i did get up late. i didn't have breakfast, just taking some low carb wraps with me to eat in the car on the way. actually, they worked well to satisfy me throughout the morning. my anxiety calmed my hunger today. we had a quiz that i studdied for about 30 minutes for last night and 45 minutes this morning once i got to school. i somehow got one wrong only and got the bonus, so i gut a 100. quiz was in the afternoon, so i was full of anxiety all morning...and i'm even more anxious i believe bc i'm going to see a band concert tonight, and i'm specifically going to see a past student i used to give private lessons on the french horn to. she's a sophmore in college, a college band concert.

this whole day i've been FULL of negative emotions. to the point of thinking, once again, what it would be like to not be alive anymore. basically, i said to myself "i'll use up all my money, enjoy the summer, and then we'll see what i feel like doing."  i'm not actually going to kill myself, please, don't worry about that. but my emotions are quite destructive at the moment. i have a classmate who continuously tells me "you're the scum of the earth, better just drop out of the program, etc..."  today he called me "pudgy" and even texted it to me on my phone! and this guy is going to be 30 this year. the people in my class piss me off, their behavior to the teachers and lack of maturity. what ass****s. i have the "priveledge" of going to school with a lot of not so intelligent people. they continuously try to put each other down, during class, in front of teachers. they talk back to each other and think they're alll SO smart. now, there are NINE people in my class, that's it!  and about, eh, 4 of them are not enjoyable to be around. the other 4 or so are fine. i don't hate the world. i am once again having a hard time. this was the first week back from vacation.

breakfast: 220

snack: 150

late lunch after quiz: 250

snack: 170

late snack, "dinner" of nature valley granola bar packet: 180.

total so far: 970

late coffee after concert and maybe a snack of some kind: 

feeling good about myself: not in the least.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

nenak on 05/02/2009:
sounds like your having a tuffy at the moment. but there is light at he end of every dark tunnel just got to keep looking for it!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 30, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: 320 oatmeal, egg whites (i mix them together and add cinnamon after)  yogurt on top

snack: 290 dried cranberries, almonds

lunch: 500 banana, plain low carb wrap, sandwich of avocado/canned salmon on a wrap

snack: 220 two yogurts, diet coke

1330 before dinner.

dinner: 600

total around 2000 today. ok.

exercise: jogging or walking at park...we'll see how i feel when i get there...

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

nenak on 05/01/2009:
sounds good so far!

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 29, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

so tired today. didn't sleep well again...really restless, especially afer being on the phone with this new guy, sorta new, anyway.  woke up at 3am...arg.

breakfast: too big 450

snack 1 : 140

snack 2: 290

lunch: 460

snack: dumb 3 yogurts 330  (started to binge and i'm stopping NOW!)

total before dinner: 1670 :( not very good actually.

dinner: pizza, lettuce i think.  i made a canned salmon-avocado wrap: 270, and an avocado salad w. lettuce: 180 or so. total here: 450

total food (and i'm bingy as ever!): 2120

exercise: probably the park...

not a great day. school sucked because it was royally boring and i am a bit sick of some of my classmates. they like to make jokes about one another but they tend to be humiliating or negative, even though its a joke. its what friends do...but i also realize since the majority (6 out of 9) students are male, that is just what guys do.


Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

MoodyMe on 04/29/2009:
Oh wow I had no idea you had so many guys in your class~what are you going for again??

I hate those nights where sleep just won't come..or stay..whutever...hope you get some much needed rest tonight~

selina on 04/30/2009:
Hang in there, HoP! Hugs to you!

nenak on 04/30/2009:
keep focused youll get there in the end!

grumpy on 04/30/2009:
guys are dumb, baby. but they're cute too. dont pay attention to what they say hahaha. and GOOD JOB on stop yourself from binging and get in control at dinner. go to bed now. haha

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 28, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i'm almost too tired for the gym!!!!! :(  but i have to go or i'll eat.

pretty healthy eating today, aside from maybe too much salt.

1200 cal up till dinner.


so tired after school today. i sorta slept well, but was tossing and turning a bit.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/28/2009:
I know, today is a little low (but not as low as when you looked and i will have a healthy dinner now). i just needed a good kickstart! xo

MoodyMe on 04/28/2009:
Thanks for the advice regarding me going to the beach this summer~I really appreciate it!

How cool of you to go to the gym even tho your are exhausted...WTG!

nimony on 04/28/2009:
Good job deciding you have to go to the gym! Redirection, distraction, etc., it's all good for keeping us out of the kitchen! Hope school and life in general are going well for you. Have a great night!

selina on 04/29/2009:
sounds like you are doing great! WTG!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Apr 27, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

back to school...........

breakfast: banana, oatmeal, egg mix: 350 good!

snack: almonds, cranberries: 290 fine....chips later on 140

lunch: DD flatbread and chips: 440 i think..  went out for someone's bday at school....large fries, and a really good chicken sandwich w. mozzerella, grilled peppers, etc. haha. but it was just what the dr. prescribed!!!!!  so, i don't know how much....but i'm guessing around 1100 at least....probably more, but no need to make myself all worked up....i forgot the ice cream cake!!!! ahhh, at least 500 more. 1600

snack: diet soda!

dinner: the DD flatbread sandwich i bought in the AM 290, also some healthy drink mix packets to fill me up more 50  total is good: 340

total: 2720...i will not let myself eat anything more.....there is NO need!  but, let me tell you, it's gonna be difficult.


doing well. :)  (feeling well)

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

Fattie2hottie on 04/27/2009:
Thanks for the comment you left on my diary! Sounds like a great day. I hope I can do as well. :)

hollybelle on 04/27/2009:
Woo hoo dear! YAY for HOP! You are inspiring me for my trip to Montana in Jnne with all that walking! We hope to hike a bunch when there. Can't wait - first vacation in about 3 years.

thinnside40 on 04/27/2009:
I like to see the "doing well.:)" and "(feeling well)"....... Good Job!

Umpqua on 04/27/2009:
I'm glad things are going well for you right now!

WI_HashiHypo on 04/27/2009:
I've been meaning to try those flatbread sandwiches, I think I might do that on Friday. Hang in there gurl!

MoodyMe on 04/27/2009:
Glad that your are feeling well!!

Are you going to school during the summer also? How much longer until you are finished? Just curious!!

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 26, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

breakfast: yellow raisin, oatmeal, egg mixture was good.

snack: fiber one bar.

lunch: dunkin donuts, 2 cookies, drink: 550 nice.

total before dinner: 1180

dinner: pizza w. avocado, salad.  not filling, ate too fast, wanted something more which is not good. going out for a bike ride soon....660 or so.

1840...not satisfied at all after dinner....

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/26/2009:
hahaha your facebook chica is here! that was funny. girl, you said i was doing great, but whenever i dont finish posting my menu it's bad news... oops.

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Apr 25, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

i'm guessing around 2200 cals today. i'm happy with that.

exercise: i walked at least 7 miles today! and then i biked for at least 20 minutes later on! such a GREAT day. i hadn't done that walk in awhile and I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and also doing some extra that is not ordinarily part of the trail. :) so happy.  i hope you all had nice weather and enjoyed it too!

breakfast: mix of oatmeal 150, finished some old protein powder (i have lots of it laying around) 80, egg whites 60, and i added a banana bc i love them and they were in my house 100. total: 390.  :)

snack: almonds 160, some tasty canned fruit in my house that i bought at least a year ago lol. trying to eat up everything before i buy more. total 280 good.

lunch: maybe some diet drink and a fiber one bar... 150

snack: diet drink....and nature's valley granola bars 180....later on a drink....100

total so far before dinner: 1100. fine. 

.... maybe i can order sushi/seafood for dinner instead of the prepared dish they do for you...with all that butter. but, maybe i should just go and enjoy...yes, i don't plan on doing anything drastically different for dinner than everyone else! no need. i am trying to learn to live my life as relaxed as i can...and that includes not stressing over orderring dinner...

dinner: is out tonight for my friend's bday....benihana type of place (japanese bbq where they cook it up right in front of you)....lots of food. but i'm looking foward to it.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

selina on 04/25/2009:
Hi HoP, enjoy your dinner, Japanese is my favorite cuisine! Yummm! Good job on the walking!

Maria7 on 04/25/2009:
5 or 6 miles???? WOW-O!!!! And I am trying to talk myself into doing 1/2 mile on the treadmill!

nimony on 04/26/2009:
EXCELLENT!!! Great job on all the exercise and sticking with your plan. You really are doing a fantastic job and you're such an inspiration to me. Thank you!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 24, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

1610 total cal :)

IGNORANCE is NOT bliss!  I am saddened by all the hate in the world and people who think they are better than everyone else. We are all equal and let us live together in peace and harmony.

breakfast was great: oatmeal/egg mix and yogurt spread on top after: 350

snack: yellow raisins/almonds: 290.

lunch/snack: fiber one bar: 150

snack: protein "builder's" bar all natural: 270 (lots of diet drinks today)

total so far: 1060. today will be much lower than what i've been having per day this week. that's a good thing....

dinner: i think a dunkin donuts egg white sandwich, some vegetable drink powder things... (they're called red lightning if your're interested. it's the only one i like of the "lightning/nature's plus" powders that i've tried.  very healthy at about 22 calories per package. good source of veg/fruit vitamins...

exercise yesterday was fantastic. today, i will go to the park as well.  right now i'm just leaving some posts to you guys, ironing my white scrubs for school next week, did some reading....and just enjoying these next 3 days before school starts again. :)  It was a good break.

The weirdness: so that guy, who texted to say he would call did NOT. so i'm done with him. He had 2 chances to get in touch. that is kinda rude so i'm past it. which is ok, bc i'm not very into dating right now since i'm more focussed on school...and now fitness. :) and getting a job....

BUT, the florida guy texted me again. (i ignored his texts earlier this week bc i've been kinda upset with him). but i didn't text him back much and he decided to actually CALL me. we spoke for around 45 minutes. and it was pretty late, maybe around 10 when he called.  ehhh, not sure what to think of his call. I won't be calling/texting him though. I have learned to control myself....so that i will NOT end up being upset at my own actions with him.  If he wants to contact me, he can. but i'm not going around chasing him.


Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 04/24/2009:
im glad you are taking care of you! thats all we can ever ultimately do, right? have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the process. xoxo

Umpqua on 04/24/2009:
Sounds like you've had a great week off! It's difficult not to get upset by other people's attitudes in this world, but you have the right idea. If everyone focused on love, patience and tolerance the world would be a much better place. So that's what I try to do anyway. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

loveray on 04/24/2009:
i love your quote below, ps. xoxo

ricearoni on 04/24/2009:
Life can get lonely sometimes but if we don't love, respect and take care of ourselves, we will never find anyone else too. Putting yourself first now is a great idea. Keep up your good work.

selina on 04/25/2009:
Hey HoP, glad you had a good day!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 23, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 140.0

accept people for their differences. nobody is better than the next person.  

breakfast: cereal: oatmeal 150, with egg whites 60, cinnamon, and raisins 130...topped after with yogurt 110: 450. was tasty.

snack: nuts, drink 260

Lunch: too big again. but whatever. 3 pieces matzah 370, microwave meal 350, 2 yogurts 200 total here: 920 wowsers....and roasted chestbuts 110 total 1030.

total so far: 1740...total cal around 2200 today...

snack: diet coke.

dinner:  300 in stuff. not in the mood to type it out...

total: about 2040! wonderful day. i hope you all did well too....

will be on the phone with that boy tonight.

Progress as of today: -15 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 04/23/2009:
I like "snack: maybe". My menus from now on will be: Lunch: Yes, please. HAHAHAHAHA

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