breakfast drink 90
snack: apple, drink: 160
lunch: subway: 350
snacks: edamame, light ice cream: 500
more ice cream 200
dinner: will be veggies and light egg omelette and more veggies probably.
total: 1700.
exercise: none. tired out...needed to study. well, did a little. but i don't want to go to bed too late tonight bc i want to have a good week ahead.
ahhh. and the crazy phone call i had tonight with someone asking me to play in their group - a band - might just make me REALLY ill. you don't even want to know...as i was writing this, she called. and now i'm kinda annoyed. ugh.
changing careers is the hardest thing on earth. especially when nothing has gone right.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
breakfast: protein drink 90
snack: package edamame, drink: 400
lunch: bagel, egg, cheese, coffee 560
snacks: 170
dinner: pizza, salad, 2 skinny cow ice creams 700
total: 1930. ok. lol. better.
i have GOT to change my ways. on an interesting note, already 1/12 of the year has passed! that's a lot. so i have 11 months left of this year. boy time flies. for february, my goal is not to binge (by binge i really mean eat over 2,000 cal) any day. also, i'm going to make a big goal for myself for this month.
my february goals:
eat 1500 cal per day or less. every day for one month. exercise daily - even if it's only 20 minutes. no days off. get more sleep - be in bed by 9:30 or 10. try it and see how it goes. stress less about school, procrastinate less! :)
exercise: one hour elliptical at gym.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
horrible day full of binging on everything good and lack of exercise.
all is good. at least i accomplished some important things at home. but, if i wanted to, i didn't have to do much of any work today. my new years plans went straight out the window started last week and i realize i need to redirect my desires if i want to be successful.
exercise tomorrow morning. perhaps even 1.5 hours straight on the elliptical. it'll be at least one hour for sure.
donkey was right when she told me to be careful. i should have taken her advice. ha.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Saturday entry:
breakfast: grapefruit, pizza, bag of quaker mini chocolate rice cakes. total: 1,000 was tasty. feeling good right now. not wanting to binge on anything else.
BINGING all day.
went to bed late last night around 2pm. was filling out scholarship applications. hopefully i really will get at least one this year. i could use the extra cash.
no yoga as it would be painful. maybe a walk in the park. i actually just want to study...easy stuff though. yeah.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Take care and have a great day! I truly hope you get the scholarships!
well, since i binged like a crazy person all week, i have now binged a total of 9 times this month. that really brings up the percentag of binge days. I've binged a total of about 1/3 or 33% of the month. eww. one our of every 3 days was a binge which is pretty bad.
the only goal i have for myself is the same goal i always have: love the gym more than food. don't go back for more after a snack. i am not worried. i'll succeed. although time is falling short. and i'm getting fat.
Friday entry:
yes i did awesome during the day.
yes i binged horribly in the evening. and weird thing is i don't even care right now. only thing i am thinking about is having a good day tomorrow.
so stressed out. but really no reason to be. this week and last week included LOTS of tests. next week should be ok.
i didn't calculate calories but it has to be around 4500 at least.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
breakfast: yogurt w. pumpkin and pupmkin butter (very sugary but its in my house and i love it), cinnamon, 2 rice cakes: 250
lunch: pretzel, coffee 400
i did great but did end of in a sorta binge today. i will add up what happened after work...cellnique 90, flatbread 300, popcorn 250, yogurt w. p putter and pumpkin 170, 3 servings chips 450, microwave veggies 125, cucumber 60, 2 pieces buttered toast w. some cheese 400, whole bag of these chocolate/caramel coated mini rice cakes (7 servings) 420...cereal w. milk 240: total:
3100 approximate. great job. not really actually. i have a big test tomorrow which may be part of my reason for binging. of course not a good reason....
tons of dried fruit. more bread w. butter.
4500 total.
haha. at this rate i can gain 20 lbs come April!
just kidding. i'm on top of things...totally. rough week this week. no reason to binge though. tomorrow we have a bagel breakfast.
i am happy though at how i exercised most days this week. at least i stayed on top of that.
summer will be awesome but i need to be in shape BEFORE it, way before it, to enjoy it. it's not too late in the least.
i have been having progress, then backsliding. this whole year i've noticed that i do well, then go back, do well, go back. kinda depending on the type of week it is at school. if we have WAY many tests, i can almost predict diet failure. i know it doesn't have to be that way.
today i woke up an hour early and got to school over an hour early so i could easily find a spot and study. maybe this is what did it. i really don't know.
i don't even feel stressed right now. but that's because i'm on another carb overload. hmmm. i guess i'll have a good workout tomorrow thanks to all the carbs. i doubt i'll exercise tonight.
goodnight all.
i probably weigh 140. without bloating. very high for someone slightly under 5'2".
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
how.. I have never tried this
Have a good Thursday!
breakfast: apple, tea. i forgot if i really had an apple or not! it might have just been tea.
snacks: 2 cellniques, large coffee: 220
lunch: hot pretzel, mustard/ketchup, small coffee: around 450
late snack: multigrain soy chips 150
late dinner: beans w. almonds 160, salad and light dressing 100, yogurt w. pumpkin butter and cinnamon 150. 410.
total: 1310...i may have something else...
either way. pretty good day. elliptical for 45 minutes.
goodnight. sorry for lack of comments. i'll catch up on friday.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
wed morning:
2 hr snow delay...drinking some laxative tea....sooo bloated. going to the dermatologist later....
so unhappy with myself right now.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
tuesday:
at least 4500 again today.
8 day avg = 2891 calories.
sad part, all day i was xraying and flouroscoping gastric bypass patients. i see all the bad and keep doing bad. i'm sick to my stomach. stressed.
arg!
better days ahead. i'm sorry to myself today is another crappy one.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
i watched myself...ate really well all day....
and binged like mad when i got home. at first i had attempted to just have a bag of popcorn and 3 red peppers....but then, the gates opened and there was nothing that could stop me. i had everything i could get my hands on.
at least 4500 calories. sheesh.
so, i've learned, don't try to eat too little after a binge....i've known this from past experiences. perhaps i shouldn't put any pressure on myself to lose weight. because i still haven't succeeded to lose any. if i didn't have to study, weightloss would be so much more simple with little stress once coming home from a full day. oh well.
so, now my avg calories per day, last 7 days, are: 2661
ok, i don't have any major goals this week except to eat around 1500 the next 4 days.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
I'm not bagging on you by any means..and God knows I sure have had my days and have gained back soooooo much weight...but I don't like to see you doing the 'what ifs' when it is something that is a very real part of your life and isn't going away. Even when you get your perfect job, your own place, and a great boyfriend...there will always be something that stresses you out and makes you want to bury that stress in a plate of food. And that is what we are ALL dealing with. So we do know exactly how you feel. And the trick we are all trying to learn is how to not bury it in food.
Have a great evening...and remember, the week is almost over!
ever talk to anyone about it?
I have an eating disorder.. so please don't take offense
Hang in there~
in a prior entry a ways ago i wrote how i did best on the weekend when i exercised in the morning...right away...didn't put it off...i'm going to have to put this back into action since today i did the opposite.
i ended up binging today.... so that would be the 5th time this month. ehhhh, not good.
the binge included: yogurt 200, cereal w. milk 350, grilled cheese w. butter 650, ICE CREAM pint rum raisin1,000 total here: 1300 yuck.
total today: around 3200. not as bad as 5500. but still this is bad. and i just wrote in in an entry this morning how i was making an EXTRA effort to NOT let this happen. haha...back to routine in the morning.
exercise was slim the whole weekend. not really any.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
GOod Monday thoughts your way!
Sunday entry:
all is good. i am really going to continue my conscious effort to eat well today. I feel good. I am not going to yoga because i'm going to the gym for an hour on the elliptical and then i'll be spending my day studying and getting everything organized for the week ahead. i'll do yoga either tomorrow or tuesday. i have realized that i DO need to up the cardio which i pretty much did away with a couple months ago while getting back into yoga. i did miss the cardio a lot. :) the truth is there needs to be balance and everyone needs cardio if they don't always get it during the workday.
breakfast: lg apricot 50, small apple 80, cell-nique drink 90: 220 :) lg tea.
pre gym: approx. 100 cals of edamame! good!....gosh, warm banana and pumpkin, cinnamon: 180.
lunch: veggie burgers on rice cakes , cooked veggies, yogurt 530
total so far: 1030
ha, still no gym...i'm gonna memorize some schoolwork first.
snacks: gave in and had some temptations: popcorn 240, crackers 260, yogurt w. cinnamon/pumpkin on 3 rice cakes: 250, apricot: 50...eesh. 800 wowsa.
my goal for today is 1750 calories. can't go too low when i spend the day at home...otherwise i get tempted to binge when i'm forcing myself to eat like 1200 cal or something.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Saturday entry:
total cal: 1950 - good day. no binging. past 5 days averages 2285 calories per day. still a bit high for even maintenance levels. by tuesday though i can get my averages down by having a few more lower cal days. then, i have to stick with it so that i manage some weightloss. not much binging since the new year (only the four days) so i've been having to work to maintain and not gain weight. that's basically what i have accomplished so far since Jan 1. now i am trying to kick it up a notch, and manage weightloss by really managing binging even more so that i don't have to work to maintain but actually lose weight.
Breakfast: apple, yogurt w. added pumpkin, cinnamon. 230 :)
early 11am lunch: large protein bar, few berries: 340
snacks at grandmas: bag popcorn, cellniques (up to 2) 410...iced coffee from DD
snack coming home: soyjoy bar 130 :)
1170 so far....yogurt w. cinnamon (trying to delay dinner and have a small snack bc its only 6pm...) so 1300.
dinner: must have some veggies....
i have NOT been how drunk i was last night since...i think i was more intoxicated last night (especially since after hot yoga) than i was at the holiday party in october. i drink rarely, btw. the phone conversation lasted just under 5 hours. so it was good. but we were drunk on both ends so it was very very funny a lot of the time. but all in all a good conversation.
i also may have had more than 1250 cals last night because i know that i may have had more than 4 shots of alcohol in my drinks. most probably closer to 6 (but i didn't measure/count so if it really added up to 4 calorie-wise that's about 200 less calories).
so calories for yesterday i'm estimating at 1400 instead of 1250. :) it's ok. was worth it....but i will NOT do a repeat tonight. i've drank enough for one weekend!
my past 4 days including today are still a little over in calories: 2368 cal per day.
so, even though i did well the past few days i have still not broken even on calories consumed/calories used. so of course this means i must continue my healthy eating. because i am ready to lose the weight, obviously.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Friday entry:
dinner:some replinishments packet kinda stuff after HOT yoga....followed by 2 cups of Kahlua and diet coke. I'm calling this guy....lol...and i told him to have something to drink to....(he always drinks, so nothing new....hard to explain to you right now) anyways, i doubt he's got feelings for me but i need to get it all off my chest....AGAIN...i think i did this like a year ago to him.....arg! he's in florida and this is going to be VERY interesting. but, so far so good...it seems he's calmer than the last time this happened.... haha
calories around 1250 today.
breakfast: tea, apricot large. 50
snacks cellniques, coffee: 220
lunch: HEALTHY! finally. haha. edamame and spaghetti squash. 250
snack: large protein bar, so hungry. 310
total so far: 830.
Progress as of today: -12 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!
Good luck with the dude!!
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Great job on the menu today, very yummy!! Good luck with studying!