Saturday. 3,000 so far. 10:20am
as for exercise, i haven't done much for an entire week! I'm not doing yoga today - too little time and i don't want to feel rushed. My plan is to resume yoga after tomorrow's class and test. Then, I have a promise with myself to commit to yoga 5X a week or more.
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Friday:
3000 cals today. Could have been 1500 but i binged in both the morning and evening. evening calories included some ice cream/nuts/peanut butter/cookies...and boy do I want some more...
30 min exercise.
today's binge and calories = 3600 if i totaled it right. yesterday was 4300. i'm not doing well right now. i will do better. I will not restrict very much tomorrow or i will defitely binge.
i'm definitely stuffed and hurting...
this may be too much to think about, but if i even eat 1500 per day for only 5 days, but daily total would average 2200 for a week. that's not even terrible. ouch, my stomach hurts.
i was sweating all night last night from everything inside of me...i'll be doing that tonight as well. Why don't i just go to yoga instead of eating? I feel like if i go to yoga, i'll have no energy left to study. boy, i need to CALM DOWN!
This is just something you go through once in a while. It is a normal pattern for you. Don't worry today about counting how many 1500 calorie days you need in order to correct your binges. You had the binges...those days are done...just try and start over again tomorrow and don't twist those binge days into your other non-binge days. Take care of yourself.
I know, you're rolling your eyes at me right now, but honestly, this is what I do. Yesterday, I REALLY wanted some chocolate and knew that there was some on a kitchen shelf (hubby brought me a "treat"...yeah, thanks a lot!). As I was reaching up to the shelf, I stopped myself and said "NO. You are NOT doing that. Not after all the darn exercise and effort you've put into this week. NO!" I managed to walk away from it, and took the dogs for a walk, instead.
Thursday entry: so this morning didn't go that well. I indulged in a sugary yogurt, canned fruit, and LOTS of nuts and peanut butter. I hope I calculated right because I think i either forgot to add in one more serving of nuts of peanut butter. I guess it really doesn't matter that much anyway. total calories throughout my day until work ends will be 1700. My goal for total calories today is 2100 or 2200. This is possible but I feel like having a goal sets me up for more binging later after work.
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39 hours, 10 minutes is my final January 2008 exercise. I didn't reach 40 due to binging and bad planning.
Wednesday entry:
after all my talk of not binging anymore, i did just that. meaning, i woke up at 3am because of worrying, had a stressful day, came home and binged. approx. calories: 4300.
i actually feel sick right now. my stomach is full. done. i can only hope to not binge for awhile now - meaning for a couple weeks. Lack of sleep and stress about the class i'm taking is what contributed to this nasty binge.
some items included: 2 huge brownies, cookies, tons of ice cream, peanut butter, potato knish, frankfuters...etc.
25min walk in AM.
perhaps another short walk later. no yoga.
i haven't been commenting...i don't feel up to it right now.
I will repeat what i have written recently, saying binging is not the same anymore, neither is the desired effects a binge produces. I feel bad and its not worth the calories. I must say, the food didn't even taste very good! There are too many temptations in my house. (I don't buy them and its not up to me to tell anyone what to buy nor do i want to.)
Tuesday entry: I'm glad I did a 25 min walk this morning. I have unfortunately cancelled volunteering today. It was a long day and I need to study. It is WAY more important for me to do well in a class than rack up volunteer hours. I have decided that on my week off I can make up for the days I miss when I am working. I will volunteer 2 or 3 days inside of only 1 day on my vacation on February. After volunteering, the last thing a person wants to do is come home and study! I'm not even going to yoga tonight. I'm going to try to fit it in on Wednesday and probably not go on Thursday since I already have to stay at school an extra hour to provide extra help. I have been bingy...but healthy bingy all afternoon. calories so far are 1320 and I have just decided to give myself a break from the diet right now. I'm heading downstairs for one more handful of almonds making today's grand total of almonds reach 3.5 servings! whoa, a lot, but that's basically where i get all my fats.
calories so far: 1600.
exercise: 25 min and no more.
total exercise:38hrs, 45 min.
Monday entry:
As i sit here, I stuff my face. Definitely bingy...it's ok. The good thing, it's low cal, mostly healthy food. I planned on going to yoga today but have reconsidered and I am taking the night off from yoga. I didn't study last night....and i need to tonight. I have LOTS to memorize and I must start now, or at least tonight.
OK, time to study... :)
30 min exercise.
2150 cal.
total exercise: 38hrs, 20 min :)
Tomorrow is volunteering after work...then I plan on studying - no yoga. I will exercise in the AM again, like today, so that I do NOT have to exercise after work and I can just veg with index cards and the tv. That is my plan for tomorrow, nothing else. :)
I was looking over the past 30 days...SEVEN of them were binges, or eating over 2,000! wow! that's a lot! I didn't realize I was doing it so often! This amounts to almost twice a week...no wonder i don't see much progess as of yet! Time to suck it up and try harder!
exercise: 1hr, 50min
total exercise: 37hrs, 50min hours! yay for definitely breaking 40 by the end of this month! :)
calories: 1650. I was planning for lower but ended up having an apple and a banana after dinner with some parkay spray butter, cinnamon, and peanut spread. so, calories went up a bit. still healthy...and i did do yoga. I felt i needed the carbs! :)
My class in Anatomy and Physiology went well today. There are many people in the class with prior knowledge, though. So, I have a lot of work in store for me! That's ok. The class ended so early that I was able to have a nice lunch and go to yoga at 3pm! I'm so glad I went despite being tired.
For some reason, I have been exhausted all weekend. I think I may have been dehydrated from the hot yoga. drinking black tea probably didn't help. Also, I missed a lot of sleep since last week. All these factors probably contributed to my energy levels.
On another note, I am proud of myself for staying under 2000 and not having any massive issues with calories, especially during the weekend. I do better when I have things to do, for sure! I am looking foward to a continued success in my weightloss throughout the spring.
Goodnight everyone.
sunday afternoon edit:
yesterday ended ok afterall! 1960 cal. yay for not messing with my progress! :) Today will be good because I am determined. I am also VERY tired. I've been really tired all weekend. Last week kinda messed up my sleep patterns. It's ok...I'll figure it out.
My class got out about 2 hours early today...so YOGA HERE I COME! yay! I am going to try to take a short nap before yoga. I wouldn't be able to take this yoga class if i didn't get out early from anatomy and physiology! yay.
I've had an extra large apple, kombucha tea, 2.5 servings almonds, and a mcdonalds asian chicken salad. total cal so far: 850 that's good.
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saturday evening entry:
not a great day. i was snacking all morning, no exercise. I did go visit my grandmother and go on a walk with her but i can't count that bc it was part of my daily routine.
i ate really bad stuff around noon. I had a whole potato knish (basically oily dough on outside with potato inside) and part of another knish. I also had some peanut butter and an english muffin and many almonds. oh well. not a day for the books, but also not a monstrously bad day either.
tomorrow is my first class in anatomy and physiology...haha, and i thought that after my master's i'd be done with school for awhile! lol. the class is from 8:40am until 3pm. Supposedly, there's only a 20 min break. hopefully, we get more...
i need to up my cardio.
total calories: 1960...but I may have to have a snack...and the snack i want will bring my total to 2120 if i do indulge. If i didn't poorly eat this afternoon, i'd be better with calories now. live and learn!
exercise: none. took a break.
something weird happened to me this week. I did yoga most days and ate well, but i found my body actually bloated last night and this morning. Not bloated from food, either. Actually a bit swollen in the abdomin and thighs! Strange water gain. Maybe I have been having more salt than i realize? Its not TOM, either!
the day is done. I did go to yoga and I'm glad i went bc i love this particular teacher and she spent major time on me!!! I was standing right next to her, so it was really a great experience.
total exercise: 1hr, 30 min.
total ex: 36 hrs. A definitely at least 40 hours this month. Most were from yoga, not cardio, though. I think cardio is really, really important and a goal for February is to work on getting a least a minimal amount of cardio 4x a week. Minimal means 1/2 hour a day, 4 days a week. I have totally slacked on cardio this month!
total cal: 1310. I keep wanting more, but I keep telling myself that I'm VERY tired and i should just go to sleep bc i probably would have the ability to sleep for a long time and not wake up do to hunger in the middle of the night. Sometimes, when i don't eat enough, I will wake up in the middle of the night really hungry. However, i am not hungry now, but i am REALLY tired. I always mistake being hungry for really being tired.
long day...i can't wait for sleep! :)
Friday afternoon 5pm edit: it's been a long day and i'm very tired. I am going to go to yoga, though, because I do not think it could possibly take any more energy of of me than is already taken out.
I was dehydrated this morning and my mouth was really sticky and white along my lips. I didn't realize until i looked in the mirror. I immediately drank a ton of water after that. I think its because i went to yoga last night and didn't rehydrate enough afterwards.
i will comment on your journals tonight! :) Enjoy your evenings.
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late Thursday night edit: 1520 calories. very good day. goodnight, I am soo tired!
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5:20pm edit: NO binge today. yes!!! I am a tad tired, though. I've been up since about 3am! I will go to yoga. calories are 1290...My goal is to stay in the 1500s. Very doable! :)
yoga time....
Funny story, I decided to walk to the test today. It's only a mile away! My sister usually uses my car anyway, so I took the walk. It was a bit cold...around 27 degrees...but an overall good walk! Then, I walked back, had a snack and went to work for a 1/2 day.
exercise will be 2hrs, 10 min. :) yay.
total exercise: 34hrs, 30 min :)
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Today is my last entrance exam for another radiography program. It starts at 9 only a few blocks away from my house. The test is about 3 hours, so I called in for a 1/2 sick day at work.
I woke up MAD early, as usual when I things on my mind. Obviously, what's on my mind today is the test! How early, you ask? 3am. I layed in bed, tossing and turning until 4:30 when I couldn't take it any longer. Since then, now its 5:50, I have had a large apple and 3 extra extra large cups of tea with milk and sweet and low. (200 cal total) I do not want to binge before my test...and I will not. I think I may go back to sleep for an hour now.
I haven't had a good walking plan in the morning for a couple of weeks now. I may get back into it starting tomorrow with no less than a 1/2 hour walk in the AM. I'm getting lazy and caring more about calories than cardio exercise i think. When I do not exercise in the morning, I believe its easier to keep calories low during the school day bc I don't need as much fuel.
I definitely DON'T want to miss yoga tonight at 6:30 due to being tired. I will not give into temptation to binge or miss yoga! But, I think I will make an effort to get to bed really early...even 9pm or earlier if I am that wiped out from no sleep! :)
I feel like I have to make the same trade-off between calories and cardio. If I go running on my lunch break, then I pretty much have to eat something quite substantial afterwards, whereas if I don't do any exercise I can go the whole day without eating. But then by the time I leave work I don't have much energy and am more likely to blow off any plans for an evening exercise session. I don't know what the solution is. These days I'm concentrating on the exercise but after a high-calorie day I tend to concentrate more on the calories.
Chances are you're going to be really tired this evening so you might have to rely on tea/coffee to keep yourself going. Good luck with the exam!
Today is going well. I was in a good mood all day. Tomorrow is another entrance exam test. It's the last of all the entrance exams I have to take. In total, I've applied to 4 different programs. Three are for Radiation Technology (xrays, mri, cat scans) and the fourth program which I am most interested in is Radiation Therapy. The therapy program didn't require an entrance exam, but the three other programs did. It will be all morning so I have to go to school late. :( I hate taking time off from work!
Lately, I've been having at least two servings of fruit a day and many servings of nuts. This seems to work for me at the moment. For example, for breakfast I had strawberries and a large apple. Throughout the morning, I snacked on about 1/2 cup of almonds. Lunch was a little bit of sliced almonds and string beans with a light sauce heated up, a salad, and an orange. After work, I made an instant sugar free vanilla pudding and had tea and a large apple. I even added some fiber to the pudding. I feel good.
I am super excited for yoga....and should probably get ready to go since the classes fill up so fast this time of year!
calories 1350. pretty healthy. 3 servings of almonds were included! whoa!
exercise: yoga no walking. 1.5 hours
total ex: 32 hours, 20 min :)
Have fun at yoga!
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HoP, do what I've been doing and start weighing yourself every night before you go to bed. You may have to be scared into breaking this habit...
mmuraro on 02/01/2008:
I agree. You'll want to stop when you see the weight go up. But more important than the weight, it's that binging is self destructive and you need to be good to yourself. Have one portion of ice cream if you want to. Slowly. And enjoy it. Or a couple of cookies.
thinnsidenotout on 02/01/2008:
Hang in there.....You've done it before and you CAN do it again.... Good Luck!
shadetree on 02/02/2008:
You don't want to go to yoga because you are concerned about your energy levels/ability to study after. Personally, when I eat a lot, I've got absolutely no energy, and I would assume is the same with you...So you aren't going to yoga and you are still taxing your energy levels by consuming excessive quantities...I know logic does not usually factor into our decision, but I just felt like I needed to point out how illogical this is. (Which I know you are intelligent enough to already know this...sometimes someone saying it out loud helps us admit it...) How are things with your parents/your sister? anything going on with the dating scene? Just trying to get a sense if it is the stress from school triggering this or if perhaps there are other issues pushing you over the edge...How much water are you drinking daily? Just another thought...
Have a good visit with your grandmother today. Eat the candies SLOWLY throughout the day...remember how much better it is when you eat SLOWLY and give your body a chance to tell you 'enough already'...You can do this!
workingit2 on 02/02/2008:
Congrats on a start to a great day!
so_devine on 02/02/2008:
thats a great idea to buy low calorie hard boil sweets to chew on through out the day. i will try that and get back to you on this. :-D
their is another thing you can try i do this, buy chewing gum and when you feel the need to eat something pop a chewing gum in your mouth then you wont want the erge to eat inbetween meals/ snacks.
mcwoo40 on 02/02/2008:
Have a great Saturday,Julie.
shadetree on 02/02/2008:
What's going on HoP?
borntocry on 02/02/2008:
Can't you get out of the house? Go to a library to study? That's what I used to do at university - we could never study in our rooms. You'll get more work done with less distractions and far less calories.
Donkey on 02/02/2008:
Are you taking Anatomy & Physiology? Let me tell you right now, resolve to have no free time whatsoever. That class is a killer. LOTS of memorization. TONS of info to process and remember. It's an icky class. A lot of pre-nursing students have to take it, so this is one of those classes that weeds out the weak from the strong, the dedicated to those who just want a fat paycheck.
So keep this in mind, don't fly off the handle with bingeing, or you will spend the whole semester eating. It's just a very hard hurdle to overcome.