today was a good day because there was a plan of attack!
exercise: 35 min AM plus YOGA! finally, i went to my second class. It took over a week to get back into it!
Total exercise: 2hrs, 5 min :)
total ex: 11 hrs, 55 min! :)
total cal: about 1300. I'm ecstatic. now, i just need to continue this way!
oh, the plan of attack included volunteering and yoga after work today. I volunteered from 5-7 and went to yoga from 8-9:30pm...yes, they do have classes that late! so, this prevented a binge.
Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
oh my. i really did binge today, monday, after yesterday's rambling about giving my word to end it all.
so, basically, buying new clothes made me able to binge more. just kidding, it does need to stop. it's harder than i thought this would be.
calories: 5,000 in mostly carbs. the binge could have been prevented and was after work. It lasted 1.5 hours.
basically, i want to be able to eat everything and still lose weight. i know i can do this with moderation, but i'm afraid to not get full. the road ahead is going to be a challenge and i will have to prove i'm ready...when i'm ready?
55 min exercise.
total ex: 9 hrs, 50 min....it's gonna get better! :)
Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!
I *love* bread and grain products - I started eating whole grains a few years ago and that's good, but I can still stuff my face. I really struggle with this and it sounds like you do, too. Are you consciously eating 5,000 calories? I mean, do you sit down at a quiet dinner table and eat that much in one sitting? Try it sometime. When you want to eat, sit down at the table and eat. And don't read a book or watch t.v., or fiddle with anything else but your food. Your stomach may not actually feel as empty as you think.
It's really hard to break out of a binge cycle. Sometimes will-power isn't enough. Try to make it physically impossible for yourself. Go somewhere after work - somewhere you can't go on an hour-long binge. Go to the gym or a mall or a movie or something. Go for a really long walk and don't stop until you're exhausted - then you still have to walk back! Get in a really good workout - you won't want to undo all that work with a binge. Don't just rely on yourself to avoid the food when you're sitting in the midst of it. That's like trying to quit smoking but carrying a pack of cigarettes around with you. No-one could do it!
Make things easier on yourself!
today's exercise: 40 min.
total exercise: 8 hrs, 55min
My bingefest is over. I end the day with 5950 calories. (approx. 6,000).
So, tomorrow starts my challenge. A better entry would read TODAY starts my challenge.
So, as Biscottibody writes certain goals for herself, I have a goal for myself:
loose about 20 lbs in 20 weeks. As long as I stick to fitness and calories, this is MORE than realistic.
It's Done. If I offend everyone with these really dramatic, unrealistic, entries, sorry.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If i stick to a diet for 20 weeks, I will be how I want to look. 20 weeks sounds challenging, but definitely doable. 20 weeks takes me all the way to April 27th! My gosh, that's such a long ways away!!! I have to prove to MYSELF that this is worth it. I need to take ONE day at a time... I want this sooo bad. There's nothing stopping me except for my MIND. Wrong choices are NOT worth it. JUST NOT WORTH IT.
calories so far: 4760. people would never think its possible!
Nobody said change is easy. I've chosen to spend the day at home for the most part. I will be stopping by Old Navy to pick up some pants that fit. Hopefully they'll be a very reasonable price.
I'm going to read. Maybe start a journal. I just had a snack, even though I'm still full from the morning. I guess sometimes you need to revisit the past before making changes so that you don't stay in the past. What I mean is, I think I needed to gain weight in order to realize it is possible and that i don't want to continue on this type of journey. I'm not sure if this is logical.
For some reason, I have Jeno's microwavable pizza on my mind. It's in my house. I didn't buy it...it's not mine. Maybe I should go to yoga at 3pm even though i'm full? It'll be difficult to do some of those poses. Plus, i need to buy pants for work and if I go to yoga I can't buy the pants. so, yeah, yoga's out for today. I'm not worried about my membership...even if i didn't go a whole month, i'd make up for it in the end.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
interestingly, i go from wanting to "look hot" right before bed to a terrible morning binge. i couldn't exercise inside on the treadmill, because my dad was. but, i didn't have to binge. cakes, cookies, yogurts, everything.
so, now it's time to calculate: 4000 cal for breakfast!
i told myself just now that this was the last straw. the problem is that i don't like to intuitive eat. i'm afraid to. so, once i start to eat past full, the binge begins...
i have to purchase at least two pairs of pants today because my others don't fit and its embarassing. I am started my diet again. I'll try my best. I have been getting better at noticing my feelings before a binge, even if it doesn't appear that way to you.
i will concentrate on my breathing and go to yoga. I know i can overcome these negative thoughts. I know it.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
I'll never forget the day when I was walking out to the parking lot and someone coming toward me said, "Did you just come from a yoga class?" "yes." "I knew it!" You looked so relaxed and calm."
I was, but what amazed me was how noticeable it was to others.
If it's not too late, I'd go straight to yoga and then go shopping for pan ts. The stores are open late at this time of year. You could probably do both if you chose to.
Not sure if any of this is relevant but just thought I might share my thoughts with you!
i now have more like 15 lbs to lose, but i'll work on one pound at a time and take it from there. if i did it once, i can do it again, right!?
most importantly, i will learn to reflect on fitness and other comforting things other than food to get my feelings and emotions out! :)
total calories: 1950 (I had some wine after watching the concert. At least red wine is healthy!)
I am determined to look really hot. lol. whenever i go out with friends and have a good time, i come home determined to look hot! why is this!?
today's exercise: 1.5 hours walking.
total ex: 8hrs, 15 min.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
I think it is perfectly normal to want to look hot. We all want to look good when we go out..even if it is just to the grocery store. The trick to actually living life is not to make the need to look hot, become an obsession that robs us of enjoying our TIME. I know a lot of us would live vastly different lives with vastly different thought processes if we knew we only had two weeks left to live.
So enjoy making yourself look hot! Just don't forget to enjoy LIFE while you are at it. =)
Saturday entry:
so eating started as good as I could make it the day after a three-day full out binge. I found myself stopping by the specialty supermarket after the dentist consultation. The tooth couldn't come out today, bc it was just a consultation. And, even if i do remember the dentist saying there was a possibility that he'd take it out the same day, it wouldn't happen today: my mouth by the tooth was INFECTED. and i know why, the three day binge!! Of course, I didn't mention that to the dentist, but that's pretty crazy. whenever i eat/chew overboard, this happens! sick. lol. just another reason not to let eating rule my life.
into the afternoon, eating got bad...and i've even had 6 mini lollipops...and the milano's took their toll. so far, 1770 cal.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Friday's calories were 4700. I'm ready to stop the binging for awhile. I'm getting my wisdom tooth out this morning probably...if the consultation goes well. It's a little swollen in that area due to my excessive chewing/eating.
alright everyone. have a good day.
no exercise at all on Friday.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
Have a good day!
Thanks for your comment. I have made butternut squash pie, but not turnip. I'd heard of that but thought it was a joke! Have you ever had it? What's it like? I like pumpkin and sweet potato pies because I don't have to add much sugar. Don't know if that would work with turnip!
Friday morning edit:
I've already had another bingy day this morning! an apple, cup of pumpkin...and 4 tablespoons peanut butter. all together: 550 cal. the reason that i say it was a binge is because i ate past being full, way past being full.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i'm gonna die a very early death. i'll tell ya that.
4,000 calories today. almost every piece of clothing is too small. i've got problems.
yeah, i know, i need to go about this process slowly. the more pressure i put on myself, the worse off i am.
the control these past few days has been lost.
exercise: 1 hr.
this is sooo sick...and I haven't felt the way I have today and yesterday in a few weeks. It's that really weighed down feeling. When there is gross bulk in your stomach and it sits and sits there for 3 days until you feel like yourself again. I know that life will always be difficult, and i really do need to stop turning to food. I want to live a life that is so far and distant from the one i have now...where food is not an issue and i have more enery than ever before. where i'm in great shape and i don't sit around with my legs up at the computer for 3 hours or more in a row!
if i gain any more weight, i'll pretty much be at my higheset weight before i lost 30 pounds 6 years ago. I'm totally headed in the wrong direction...this is sooo sad! i need to fix this. i know how and i just give up day after day.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
And now, just for fun, I compiled a bunch of the best encouraging things you've left on my blog throughout the last year. Maybe reading your own words will encourage you that you've got this in you- I know you'll see it through!!!
Love. love. love. ~Michelle
"so, you've had a string of bad days, just pick up here...it's never, ever too late to change. :)"
"you will definitely get right back into the groove..... the day could have been worse!! feel better! i'm cheering for ya!"
"it's all about having more good days than bad...and you are doing a greaet job with that!! :)" (HoPs- you've ALWAYS done a great job of this!!)
"You're on your way! I have my bad weeks too! What matters is that you never completely throw the towel in!"
In one of the articles I posted recently, they discussed that the thought of binging for some people, releases a pleasure hormone that can be addictive. So maybe if you can give yourself permission to binge at specific times that you write on your day planner or whatever, maybe you'll be able to control it a little more and you will find other things in the meantime, that give you pleasure.
Just a thought!
One thing I'd like to add to the part she said about allowing yourself to eat what you really want instead of what you think should eat: I first drink a glass of water to make sure that I am not confusing thirst with hunger. Then, if I am still hungry, yes, I go ahead and eat it. (Especially when it comes to ice cream, I will eat ice cream if I am thirsty.) :-/
But I think if you ate what you wanted or what was available (i.e. what the rest of your family eats for a meal), then you would be more satisfied in the long run.
And I would like to reiterate about the counseling too. A social worker, a RD, somebody.
i emotionally ate 4200 calories. and, that's if i'm lucky and calculated correctly...ugh. bad stomach ache.
exercise: only AM 1/2 hour. sucky as anything!
total: 5 hrs, 45 min tomorrow i will go to yoga...and even though i had a bad day today, i am making a good attempt to recover tomorrow and for the rest of the weekend! :)
I feel like i'm at a point we're i'm almost unable to make any changes in my life...i get a step closer, and take 100 steps back.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
from my calculations, I ate around 2050 cal. I had a pretty large dinner, around 900 calories.
exercise: one hour. tomorrow I want to go to go to yoga practice.
today, i did some volunteer work after work for 2 hours. it went pretty well, as good as volunteering can be, anyway! :)
total exercise: 5 hrs, 15 min. :) that's ok.
i was definitely bingy today. but, really, calories weren't bad - and i cannot think that they were!
at the current moment, i am angry. there is this friend i have living in another state who doesn't realize his actions and how they make me personally feel. I can't really say too much more, except that he's great at being the controlling one in a relationship. i actually just mean a relationship as friends. and i personally don't care for people like that, who are rude and lack any understanding...and he may just loose me as a friend.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
the dinner date went well...although he is on the thin side...but what's wrong with that right? that's motivation on my part! lol.
calories are pretty good. when i got home, i did have some celery sticks and an apple even though i really wasn't hungry, just antsy.
calories: 1375 approximately.
exercise: AM = 35 min. now, i plan on another short 35 min. i'm a bit tired...
total exercise: 1 hr.
total Dec = 4 hrs, 15 min :)
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
hey everyone...my date was cancelled due to the snow this morning! but, the plan is to meet up tomorrow at 6:30pm. He really does sound like a nice guy and it would be pretty cool if we ended up being interested in each other. we shall see.
exercise was ok. 1hr 15 min cardio. I didn't go to yoga today, although I could have, because my body is sore from yesterday. I am not going to work through soreness. Instead, I'll give my body the proper rest it needs and then go back to yoga. What I have is an unlimited pass for a whole year...unlimited yoga! If I wanted to, I could go to like 5 classes a day haha! Just kidding, nobody does more than two. And the majority does only one. Most people do not go everyday and its worth it even if I only go between 8 and 10 times per month - in comparison to the other types of passes I could have bought. So there you have it.
i didn't exercise this morning - i should have because it's so easy to get more exercise in that way. It really adds up with anything else I choose to do later in the day. Tomorrow really is December! haha. So, since I've been doing a half hour AM workouts on the treadmill for the past week, maybe I should increase to 35 min? yeah, that's what I'm going to do even though the sound of it makes me anxious for some reason. I love having the morning workout, but I don't want to be rushed to get ready or wake up too early. It would be pretty cool to work up to going an hour on the treadmill in the morning!
exercise total for December: 3 hrs, 15 min...already looking good!
calories were not bad. I thought i was going to have a miserable day but finally got out of the house...and that saved me. Calories are about 1575. yay, i stayed in the 1500s.
I really want to loose some weight and show off some more toning - the only way is too loose some fat. The pictures he's (the person i'm going on a date with) seen of me are when i weighed about 10 lbs less...eesh. But, two are recent, from August! lol. The only one really recent, as in Thanksgiving, picture that I have is a bad one so I'm not showing it to anyone. lol.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 Next Page ]
Yay, HoP, that's the way!! Maybe you can keep up with the volunteering and yoga after work. Keep an energy bar or some fruit with you so you can have a little snack if you get too hungry. You don't want to use that as an excuse to go home and spend the evening pigging out.
When my husband has to work late or go to basketball practice and I have the evening to myself, I make sure to have a plan to keep myself busy. Sometimes I work late, or I go to a supermarket on the other side of town, or I plan to cook something elaborate which I know will keep me busy. If I just sit at home watching T.V. by myself, I know I'll spend the whole night eating. Just don't put yourself in that situation, and you'll be surprised at how easy it can be!
Moody2 on 12/12/2007:
Hey you! I have been reading up on you and am SO glad to see that you had a successful day!! Woohooo!! Sounds like you have an excellent plan of attack (gotta love that). Take it one day at a time..I know you can do this.
geevee on 12/12/2007:
Many were the nights when I would go to an evening yoga class without having eaten because you just can't do yoga with a full stomach. Surprisingly, after an 1.5hr. class I'd leave without feeling hungry at all. That always amazed me, the effect that yoga had on my appetite. I think I even slept better the evenings I went to yoga.
So when you get home, try to concentrate on how good you feel and visualize the postures you did to your satisfaaction. I would think negatively about the rolls of fat that would come down to choke me when I'd do the shoulder stand which I totally DETESTED! I'd think that a posture that made me feel so awful couldn't be good for me! Looking at myself in a leotard and tights was enough to make me lose my appetite. That's why I prefer that apparel to loose fitting yoga pants. There's no incentive in wearing them.
The more yoga classes you attend, the more you willwant to go. Believe me, you CAN lose weight doing yoga and not even thinking about it.
starfish on 12/12/2007:
Good for you!