total calories: 1800 i ate all afternoon long. at least it was healthy.
total exercise: 70 min (60 yoga, 10 bike) (June total = 28 hrs, 30 min)
Today's journal entry is to vent.
I lost out on a job I thought i had for sure. I am sad because when i asked the director for feedback on my interviews and demo lesson, she said that my lesson was awesome and i was awesome with the kids. she said that others on the last interview committee (the third round of interviewing) thought i would work better with students who are wealthy and can afford private lessons! wow. that is not at all what i would expect ANYONE to say about me. first of all, i worked with similiar students this year to the job i was applying for, and it was wonderful. they weren't rich and still many took private lessons. also, private lessons do not have to be expensive. you can get the from a high school musician who wants to do it for credits or for school. i'm really upset. i thought i wouldn't have to interview for the rest of the summer! wrong.
oh, and don't get me wrong, i didn't talk about private lessons for a long time or any large portion of the interview. it is a teacher's job to mention an opportunity to take private lessons to their students. so i said that. i'm angry.
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
total June exercise time: 27 hours, 20 minutes...CRAZY COOL.
Happy Monday!
Exercise: wowsers...150 minutes!!!! yeah, that's right! (60 yoga, 60 cardio, 30 weights)
Calories: 1500 on the dot!
The start of my day has been going well! I had a good breakfast, rode my bike to yoga, and it was a great class! I had a large lunch after yoga, but its already getting late in the day. so, its ok. It was 590 calories. also, i'll be out of the house during a prime time to binge...the early afternoon. so, that won't happen!
now for a different issue: I always like for my weekly average calories to equal 1800 or lower. well, I was really off track for awhile. and, i'm still trying to get the average down for the past 88 days!!! haha, i keep adding each day into the average until it will eventually reach right below 1800 as the average. so, right now, for 88 days, my average is 1873. I wonder how long it will take to reach just under 1800. By the end of the summer, it should definitely be there. Hopefully before that. I keep wanting to just start counting my weekly calories over, but then I'm defeating the purpose of keeping running totals that eventually end when I'm slightly below 1800- like 1798 would be fine. also, once the total average goes down...weight is also lost! there is a reason for my madness.
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
I would hope that you could get back to that point. It seemed to me as though your eating (bingeing) was much better (and in control) back then. Perhaps you disagree, which is fine. But if you could have more days like today, that would be great! Or even half a day, either the exercise OR the calories. That would be a good day in my book as well. Keep up the good work!
calories: 1510
total exercise for June: 1490!!! this equals 24 hours, 50 minutes!!! that's over an hour per day!!! yay! this is what happens when you don't have to work every day in the summer!
food choices today were GREAT!
exercise was even better than food choices....
total exercise: 120 minutes!!! (yoga 60, cardio 60)
perhaps another update tonight!
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
Sounds like you had a terrific day yesturday with both calories and exercise, way to go!! Your really good at keeping your calories nice and low, I always seem to struggle to keep mine around 1500, I usually end up closer to 1600 or 1700. I guess it would have something to do with all the great healthy stuff you eat, especially all those veggies!!!! I see that your still struggling with some binge eating due to stress, I know you were managing to have some control over your binges in the past....I'm sure you'll manage to get back to that place. I admire your consistancy with these entries and always managing to get it together the day after a binge!!! I hope today is a successful day for you, you really did amazing on Sunday, great job!!
exercise for today: 75 min (yoga 60, bike 15)
calories: 1705. i need to watch my morning and lunchtime/afternoon eating better. this is especially the case at lunch. i overstuff myself. but, mainly, i will try to plan better what i am eating and not go for anthing else afterwards!
edit #1: my large lunch ended around 2pm. then, at 4:30, i had a slight binge on a cherry yogurt, all bran cereal and soymilk, and an english muffin. so, 430 useless calories that were very tasty...but i wasn't hungry. it was the head hunger. i get like that when i try to do work/study. so, today's calories are certainly not at 1500. if i'm not that hungry later, i'll have a yogurt or something. i hope. calories are currently 1645.
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just stopping in to say my day is going well.
i did yoga this morning...after taking like a month off! as usual, it was great!
breakfast calories were ok: 350 snack: 85 Lunch: too much, but satisfyingly good, 720! I plan on sticking with 1500 today, i'll update later!
Lots of bike riding/walking/elliptical, too!
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
much better day today!
calories: 1350
exercise: 135 minutes! (30 weights, 105 cardio!)
i have a concert tonight and some work to do now!
have a good evening!
thanks for the comments!
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
total exercise: 25 min
total calories: 3130
edit : to the newcomers...i have some interesting issues with food. lately, i was doing pretty well. but, i have a tendency to binge eat...and the calories certainly add up quickly when i do. It is all in my head and sometimes I feel totally unable to stop eating once I begin. I had a concert tonight and tomorrow I have to play my horn at another job interview. My mind was trying to ignore all emotions about these things. I did let myself feel my emotions for like a split second before heading to the kitchen. maybe next time i will be able to stop myself from getting food. i'm glad the binge is no worse!
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omg. i just binged like crazy! i'm uncontollable when I get into these phases where i start to worry about everything and bury myself under food. i felt like I had a lot less control today when i was binging. in the recent past, i had regained some control and could stop if I wanted to. today was different, and it was pretty bad.
calories so far...I will probably eat more later...2975. ouch.
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
Total exercise minutes this month: 1135! that's a lot!
calories: 1585
Exercise: 135 minutes (30 weights, 105 cardio)
good day overall.
i wanted to keep calories at 1500....but everything was healthy. lunch was overdone...a little large.
i was hoping to do even more cardio...so that it added up to two full hours. but, my left ankle started to bother me. it's weaker than my right ankle because i broke it awhile back. so, i literally turned around in my walk and took a faster way back!
i think i should do yoga tomorrow...because it will help me with my muscles from all the cardio lately. if i don't, i'll end up regretting it.
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
I know you were hoping to do more but congrats on the cardio. Knowing how hard it is with old injuries, you got a lot done.
Sorry to hear about your ankle. Mine was bothering me for a solid two weeks and is now just starting to feel better. If it is swollen, keep icing it. And have you ever tried Tiger Balm? That helps the swelling, too.
Wednesday edit: I WILL NOT BINGE TODAY! :) there is NO REASON to binge!
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Tuesday:
hi all.
exercise: one hour (walk/jog)
calories: 1880
i was a little bingy today. but, overall calories were not out of this world, which is good. Problem is, pretty soon after I finish breakfast I should really get outside and exercise. If i don't, it is hard to motivate myself and i think it's best for me to move around starting early in the day. I will try to get some exercise in every morning and afternoon/evening.
Alli pill is fine. Aside from the slight side effects I had this morning, all is good. when i binged it was not after taking the pill, so obvisouly I experienced no side effects. otherwise, i probably would have.
had a rehearsal tonight that went well. i actually want to practice more now...it's 10:22pm. I'll do it quietly by placing a mute in the bell of my instrument.
have a great evening/morning tomorrow!
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
Have a great day :0)
1880 calories is not bad at all. Especially with the hour of cardio you got in. Do you find a correlation with bingeing and exercise? The more you workout, the more likely you are to eat more? Just curious if this happens to you.
I think you did pretty well today, myself. I will be cheering you on for today (Wed.).
Tuesday edit: after breakfast, i did actually have some "leakage" due to the alli pill...nothing major. but, it is true, there are some side effects. i think that may be it...and i doubt that i'll be "leaky" all day.
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hey everyone!
total June minutes so far: 940!!!!
exercise today: 90 minutes!!!! (60 elliptical, 30 weights)
calories: 1500 on the dot!
today my demo lesson for the job i had interviewed for went nicely. if i get this job, i will probably take it. i say that because i believe it is not everyday of the week! its a little more than part time and it has benifits. of course, the optimal job would be full time!
i refuse to be interviewing all summer. i need time to relax! i'm glad i just wrote that. i cannot let myself become overwhelmed with interviews while performing in an orchestra and studying/performing for my class. enough is enough. i also have to write a term paper at the end of the summer for a different class.
tomorrow i plan on getting walking done in the morning and afternoon. i'll have a rehearsal at night. i better start practicing horn and studying more. today, i was so tired after the interview. the reason was simply not enough sleep! lately, i've been going to bed late and still waking up at 6am...even though i haven't needed to get up that early for two weeks!
oh, the weight i lost so far was not really due to the pill i started taking. last week i guess i really ramped up my exercise....as well as lowered my caloric intake! so, this weeks weight loss is all due to cutting calories and exercise. hopefully the next few weeks will be a downhill loss as well!
lately, things are looking good for me. what a delightful change! :)
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
Calories: 1690.
Exercise: 80 minutes cardio outside. (but, i have to say, most of the remainder of the day was spent sitting around.)
edit #2: i'm not really that hungry this evening. so, calories end right now at 1690 calories. my plan for tomorrow is to keep them a little lower...around 1500. i want to loose around 4-5 lbs this month. of course, that may be a bit high, but with the extra assistance of Alli, maybe i can do it. i won't be highly dissappointed if it doesn't work out. it would be nice. this is kind of a short term goal because i have to "perform" conducting for a whole week and it's in a month. also, i'll be performing all summer in an orchestra, as well. ok. goodnight!
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edit: i had a splurge of two servings of multigrain tostitos. ehh. could be soooo much worse! they were 300 calories all together. then, instead of continuing reckless eating, i ended with a tomato. ahhh! nice. calories may be higher be the end of today. thankfully, its already 7pm!
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hi!
i woke up and had a wonderful breakfast: a peach, blueberry oatmeal, and a yogurt with some cinnamon and chocolate stevia in it. wow. it all tasted great.
i went on an hour walk to go pick up the newspapers.
I then went to get my hair Japanese straightened (permanently straightened!) now, it'll be a breeze to care and manage it all summer...into the New Year actually. it tends to last me a 1/2 year until much has grown out. but, i probably will not get it straightened again until this time next year. i have far less trouble with my hair during the dry, less humid winter months.
then, i did something i said wouldn't do. I bought that Alli fat blocker pill. oh well. i will try it; and make sure nobody i live with catches me doing this...or they will get VERY ANGRY with me! i don't plan on using it forever, i just want it to boost my progress through this month, especially, until the last week in July. I'll run out of pills by then...and then i'll make some kind of judgement call on it. i'll stop after the bottle runs out.
the pill says to watch your fat intake. if you eat too much fat at one meal, you could end of with diarhea or worse. so, i did watch that...tried to have the amount they recommend. i will skip it tomorrow until after the interview/demo lesson i have. i don't want to have any problems when i'm being observed!
so far, so well.
Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!
But if you are ok with your moods, I'd like to know how you like Alli and if you see any results. I did not think it was a fat burner but a lesser dosage of a prescription strength appetite suppressant.
So, HoP, this may give you incentive to stop bingeing, if nothing else. Best of luck to you with this. And I apologize wholeheartedly for my confusion.
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That's bad news, but it's good that you aren't turning frustration into eating.
Donkey on 06/26/2007:
You know, people will pull any reason out of a hat (or other place) to justify their selections. That may or may not have been their reasoning for not selecting you. Sounds to me like someone was splitting hairs.
So it's ok to be angry, and I think you have every right to be angry. And disappointed and frustrated. But keep in mind that even though this is the feedback that you got, it may or may not be entirely true and doesn't really reflect on your abilities or your performance at the interview.
bathsuitbeautif on 06/26/2007:
I agree with Donkey. You can't be sure you are getting truthful feedback. Saying you would do better with richer kids could be the same thing as saying you are overqualified or they think you will move on too quickly. It's difficult to read between the lines and probably not worth dwelling on to long.
greengirl on 06/27/2007:
I'm sorry to hear your disappointing news HoP, but you will have to keep up applying for jobs til you get one. Dont let it put you off. Somewhere there will be a job with your name on it. I wish you all the luck in the world in your efforts to find a good one. Keep your chin up !!