Saturday afternoon edit: I'm having a good day. I had a cereal breakfast with protein powder. Lots of bran to get things moving. I went to see the movie Elizabeth: The Golden Age. It was pretty good. some gorey parts, nothing too bad. I had a decaf coffee during the movie.
I had lunch at 1:30 and was sooooo shakey before eating. It was sick! I bought sun chips and a roast beef wrap. I had to drink a whole 20 ounce or whatever it was of water, taking my time, before leaving Subway. I came home and took a nap!! Did some laundry, ironing. I drank a little Kombucha and now I'm off to the park. Btw, i felt better after lunch. I had breakfast around 9:15 and it was awhile since breakfast before lunch, which contributed to the shakeyness.
865 calories + kombucha = 925 calories :)
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Friday:
45 min exercise.
total = 14 hrs, 25 min :)
calories: 2330 (added a green pepper before bed)
lol. i just have to laugh. binged on 5 packets cinnamon oatmeal. right out of the packages with a spoon. no liquid
total cal today: 2300.
calories so far are 1660. didn't stick to any kind of low sugar plan. breakfast = pretzels 220 bc i was running late and the selection at school that i had to choose from was HORRIBLE!
snack = veggie burger and tomatoes = good snack. = 130
lunch = ham, alfalfa sprouts and tomatoes = 200
snack after school/binge = alfalfa sprouts (whole container), carrots, 4 veggie burgers, 2 yogurts with fruit flavor and lots of sugar in them along with 2 scoops of protein. 1110
want to know some gross information? I have been eating so much that my body can hardly hold it in anymore. I have trouble walking around and feel like I constantly need to use the bathroom. LOL, sadly, you can't do that while teaching at school. I actually had to wear something protective so that I had no major accidents until being able to get to the bathroom. That's disgraceful!!!
I'm working on it...LOL.
I'm working on it...
It's soooo hard to stop binging. This can be a great weekend.
It really can. I need a plan. That's what i'll do now :)
30 min exercise
13 hrs, 40 min :) exercise.
so, again with the plan: i like an emphasis on some protein. carbs might give me energy but i always find myself binging on them. I have always recieved greatest success with a diet with ample protein and more veggies/fruits than i've been eating. so, i need to somehow come back to reality. vending machine food is junk. when i was even in high school, i hardly ever bought that stuff! Boy have things changed in the past 10 years! haha.
the plan for awhile:
breakfast can be bran cereal/fiber cereal with protein powder mixed in.
i needed to think of a good snack. I think i have one. it'll be a morningstar veggie burger and, lol, some vegetable. like, cherry tomatoes. i have such a late lunch, it doesn't work well for me at all. I'll have this snack when i'm standing in the lunchroom watching the kids. If someone says something, i'll flat out tell them that i get very hungry/shakey at that time and i need to eat something. it should be perfectly fine.
then, 2 hours later, i hvae lunch 5 minutes to 2pm. it'll be veggies and protein for awhile...no carbs from the vending machine (candy, twix, cheese-its).
when i get home, i'll allow myself a snack of course. veggies and a veggie burger or sausage or any protein. I'll make sure to mix it up a bit.
dinner: subway wrap with chips. diet coke
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calories for today are 4260. I didn't think this would happen today.
Foods:
Breakfast: bowl of a grain and nut cereal mixed with fiber cereal, milk, and a little protein powder. then, peanut butter sandwich. 770
no snack.
lunch: ham with cherry tomatoes and sprouts. some peanut and crackers snack from the vending machine and twix cookie bars.
when i got home, i wasn't even hungry. its raining really bad and i wasn't going to walk a half hour to get my car...and i wasn't even sure of the location because my sister hadn't told me.
i did binge: chicken noodle soup with an entire package of broccoli slaw (pretty much just 4 cups of cut up broccoli). 2 veggie burgers. then, a whole 6 ounce bag of chocolate, milano cookies, jelly candy, cinnamon roll oatmeal, chex and milk, granola and milk.
total calories: 4260.
exercise: 1 hr, 5 min.
total exercise: 13 hr, 10 min.
total calories are a whopping 4200. so, if i burned around 2,000 I still have 2200 leftover calories.
well, it ended up being a really BAD day caloriewise. It seems that since I haven't gained 30 pounds yet, I will just keep on forging ahead with my binges. This is all just very dumb.
my binge = 2100 calories. It included a full bag of chocolate and another bag of gummi candy (halloween stuff...) Now, i'll have to replace it!
Breakfast was a mix of cereal and peanut butter protein powder: 300
Snacked on Peanut Butter m&ms! 250
Lunch was a large salad of romaine and tofu with olive oil and oregano. followed by a bag of cheese-its. I almost started to buy another vending machine snack but realized that i'd had enough. 520
snack after school: 1/2 bag baby carrots, 1/2 block tofu, 2 cups of a bran cereal with 1 scoop of protein powder and some sugar free syrup. 660
Have a great evening.
Wed morning edit: I woke up an hour early to drive to the high school to retake my tuberculosis test because last time too many days went by and the reading was no longer accurate. the nurse forgot i was coming and didn't tell me she'd be at a meeting in another town all morning!!!! LOL! Hopefully i'll be able to go at lunch. Otherwise, since you need to show results over a 48 hour period, I'll have to wait till next week! Hmmm. Maybe I'll get the shot tomorrow and be able to show it to another physician over the weekend. i really want to volunteer and cannot without the proper medical records!!!
======================================================
Tuesday entry:
total cal: 1990.
total exercise: 1 hr, 20 min.
total october: 12 hr, 5 min
I stuck to my food plan until lunch. haha. then, i added in a package of cheese-its from the vending machine. total calories were 1020 up till 3:30 when i got home from school.
After school: at first, i attempted a small snack which lead into a meal. The "meal" consisted of several servings of bread with protein powder and sugar free syrup on it. lol, like french toast almost! i also had a few tomatoes and tofu before eating the "french toast." calories for this stuff equals 750.
total calories so far: 1800. I'll have something later probably, in the evening. its 4:11 right now. (calories were not 1500 for the day as planned. honestly, my focus shouldn't be weight loss anyway.)
My thinking is that perhaps if you could eat more evenly throughout the day, you would not feel the need or desire to binge later in the day. And perhaps the dietitian could give suggestions of foods to add to certain meals to help you feel more "even". ?? Well, just an idea. It sounds like you had a pretty good day today though. Cheez-Its isn't so bad. We have a box of them here in the house and I reach for them from time to time. I did want to comment yesterday that peanut M&Ms are not the best snack to have in the mornings to sustain you until a late lunch. :-/
How do you like teaching, overall? How is the job going?
I promise to make tomorrow a better day. The plan: to eat something tiny with caloric value over the course of the LONG morning until lunch at 1:55pm.
Waking up: the last sip of leftover kombucha (tea with a small amount of calories) and water (not with flavoring tomrrow because i NEED some detox!) (20)
The plan: breakfast = oatmeal + protein powder. (250)
Snack = pack of peanut m&m's spread over the course of the morning...what do you think?? To keep blood sugar up. Because not eating is not working. (250)
Lunch: tomatoes, lettuce, and tofu with olive oil. (300)
Snack: Sports drink during exercise...but I think that so much sugar will make me binge later possibly. Maybe some kind of energy bar throughout execise?? Maybe just carrots? ugh. I want to fix my habit of eating right after school. alright, i've decided: my pound bag of baby carrots could take me through my afternoons into dinner! :) I think I will try this for a week. Is eating a lb of carrots bad for a week straight?? (200)
Dinner: I would something healthy. Whenever i have a "poor" day like today, i always look foward to more veggies and healthy foods i've been missing. Right now, I'm thinking about another salad which WILL include: greens, red pepper, avocado, beans, and maybe even green beans. There WILL be dressing. I'll use a spray balsamic vinegrette. (450?)
total: 1470?
The orientation was good. I just let my emotions overwhelm me! so stupid!
Good day yesterday. Poor day today.
breakfast was ok: 600 calories.
I binged when I get home around 2pm from the orientation.
Total calories: 5800. What does that mean? It means I need to try harder and not let me feelings and insecurities get me down.
calories changed. 6100 to be more exact. exercise: 1 hr, 45 min :)
total oct: 10 hrs, 45 min :)
I read about something really cool today that measures almost exactly the calories we burn each day. It's called Body Bug and you wear it on your arm. It's REALLY pricey. No, I'm not buying it. But, it is sooo interesting! :)
Breakfast on Monday: 600 cal. 3 servings whole grain pita chips, protein scoop, 1/2 kelp noodles baked with olive oil and cinnamon/sweet and low on top. Yeah, strange breakfast indeed. I'm happy to report not going back for any other food afterwards! :)
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Hey!
So today was a very good day for me.
I walked about 8 miles or so. Most of it (about 7) was done all at once with a few quick sitting breaks inbetween! There's a really lovely "Greenway" or walking strip adjacent to a major roadway in Queens, NY. It's beautiful because the other side is a Marina with lots of boats and beautiful scenery/nature. I walked there both back and forth. It equals about 5 miles. Then, i also took the footbridge that crosses over the expressway into another whole park which leads into a community and other fields. It's really beautiful.
The only part of the park I didn't really do any walking in at all was the wooded area. I don't know how safe it is to be surrounded by tons of trees and bushes in an area I'm not familiar with. I wouldn't want to become another statistic. I have a few other safe areas left to explore. When i'm done, there's at least one other park I plan on going to before the weather really changes over. BTW, today was like summer again! 80s in October!
Later, I went to the bookstore for a bit and afterwards decided it was still to early to go home. I also decided I still have more energy to spare and I did a bit more walking at a park only 15 minutes from home. I walked for about a half hour there.
I'm assuming total mileage today to be 8 miles. That's an honest estimate.
Total exercise today: 2 hrs, 40 min (actually it's much more, but I cannot account for sitting or really slow walking!).
Total October exercise: 9 hours! yes yes yes!
Tomorrow I have off from work. The plan is to go to the orientation for the hospital I'm going to volunteer at one day per week. After that, it's up in the air. I'll be going to the grocery store to pick up a few things since i didn't today. I plan on some good exercise of course. The plan is to take my bike to the park. I need to lay off the walking a little or my ankle is going to get weak again.
An update, my ankle is doing well these days. The exercises to strengthen the ligaments around it are working! :)
Foods today:
The "oatmeal cake" as described in saturday's entry. 500 cal
1 bag mini carrots and a coffee. 300 cal
lots of water and diet drinks (I'm not planning on laying off those).
1/2 bag kelp noodles 10 cal
Dinner with family, dad's bday:
salad 30 cal
seasoned and baked potatoes with olive oil on them. very good. one of mom's usually well made dishes. 250 cal
meat seasoned with rosemary and other really good spices, baked in the rotiseree. Awesome. I haven't had meat in awhile and it's good and healthy for the body. 300 cal
olive oil and seasoned with salt/pepper asparagus baked in oven - similiarly made to the potatoes. This asparagus is another favorite food in this house, especially by my sister. 150 cal.
dinner: packet of flavored coffee. packet of some kind of cappuccino mix. around 200 cal.
I looked at the cherry pie and couldn't stomach it. The thought of wrecking a good calorie day wasn't going to happen. I worked so hard today at the park and couldn't bear to eat something that looked too rich to have only one bite. LOL.
I'm guesstimating calories to be between 1800-1900. i hope i'm not too off. This was a better calorie day than i've been having in awhile. Pretty balanced nutritionally. I like the idea of a substantial breakfast, few but healthy snacking throughout the day followed by a good dinner.
I've heard about the Body Bug too. They are using that on Biggest Loser, if you notice the contests wearing grey straps on their arms. Not only is the contraption expensive, but then you have to pay for a subscription to the service or something. At least that was what I gathered from the message boards at nbc.com. So it ain't cheap. I'd rather get a pedometer and just see how many miles I move, and calculate it from there.
SUNDAY AM edit: today I made sure to have breakfast and I ate exactly what i wanted. I had oatmeal with chocolate protein powder, egg whites, sugar free syrup, and peanut butter all mixed in. It was quite good. I didn't add a lot of water. It turns into a cake like treat and it's high in fiver, protein, good carbs, with a little fat. I also had two fish oil tablets. my skin has been a little dry...and i know increasing the oils helps. I had them in my house.
calories for Breakfast are 500.
Today is my dad's birthday and there's fruit pie. I guess i should have some, why not? we'll see. Parents are making dinner.
================================================
had a scoop of protein blended into ice to make an "ice cream"
calories i think are around 2200
taco bell at 2pm steak chalupa, nachos and cheese, caramel apple empanada, cinnamon twists.
pizza at 4pm- assorted stuff (the leftovers were sitting on my kitchen countertop when i got home. I took them to my room and ate everything that my family left over.)
3 plum tomatoes and grapes after the pizza.
exercise: 2 hrs.(1 hr walking, 1 hr elliptical at separate times during the day.)
basically, because life is so rocky right now (even though i'm probably in a much better situation than half the people in the United States!) it becomes really easy for me to make poor health choices and not care about myself the way I should.
I guess I should remember that I AM worth it...and that I do have the potential to be and look the best I can.
Once again, I need to write that I am not a garbage dump.
thanks everyone.
You are not a garbage dump, just a highly maintained food processing plant....that is probably the politically correct way of saying it.
To answer your question, I don't think I would ever buy an elliptical online without first seeing that particular model in person, trying it out etc. All of my online travels thus far have been information gathering for the most part. That way I can see what is out there, what to look for, who has what, who has better prices in a conventional store, consumer reviews...For example, I was able to narrow my search to one sporting goods store (with two as back ups in case the first doesn't have a decent variety in stock) so that way I don't have to spend hours driving all over the city. I can look at the models, try them out, get a feel for what it is that I want, then I can take that info and do another search to find the bet price. I guess I do this as I used to be in sales, and while I never resorted to high pressure tactics, I know how bad it can get. This way I'm not as easily swayed. (I did the same thing when I was looking for a new car - did all my research, decided on three models to test, figured out which I liked best, then went back and had them special order my vehicle with the options I wanted and not all the other ones that I didn't need but they wanted to charge me for because the vehicle was sitting on their lot. Worked great, although I had to wait four months to take delivery on my car, but I am thoroughly satisfied with it.)
Anyway, have a good day. A small piece of pie won't be bad, just try to keep everything else in check:)
PS One way to drastically cut down on the calories in pie is to not eat the upper crust. Just an FYI. Eat it if you want and enjoy!
3500 cal.
exercise: 55 min.
total exercise: 4 hrs, 20 min :)
wanna know something really scary? my average calories for the past 30 days = 3237 per day.
those calories indicate an approximate 10 lb gain in 30 days.
And what Biscotti said makes perfect sense. Your BMI is still healthy, but you do have to ask yourself some critical questions.
I found a couple of websites that might help, since I know you can't afford a doc or anything. I'm pulling for you!!
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/eating/guide/index.html
That is specific to binge eating disorder...this is a link to the main page of the eating disorders.
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/eating/index.html
I'm in your corner!
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/eating/other/basics.html
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/eating/earlyrecovery.html
Instead of spending money on food for binges, you could be putting that towards getting some help.
So what do you do for exercise?
I weighed myself after not doing so for around 2 weeks at least. I looked at the unexpected scary number: over 120 lbs. The last time I weight this much was waaaay back 5 years ago. I do believe I still know what to do to loose the weight.
workin at it...
walking to get my car and the train station and then heading over to the gym. by for now :)
exercise: i did 1 hr, 25 min :)
total oct exercise = 3 hrs, 25 min.
1200.
Now don't go and think that the solution to this (i.e. losing your added weight) is to FAST or to CLEANSE, because IT"S NOT!!!
Tomorrow, I want you to have a good, solid breakfast, a healthy lunch and a light to regular dinner. Eat every 2-3 hours. Your snacks should consist of protein and fiber.
STAY AWAY FROM THE PEANUT BUTTER!!!! (it's only temporary)
Remember there is always tomorrow, but we have only so many tomorrows.
Hope that made sense.
Keep your chin up :-)
Congrats and good luck to you! Have a great weekend.
exercise: 65 min.
edit: binged after school.
after the soup...instead of having dinner later at subway, i had:
2 servings tam tam whole grain crackers: 240
entire pint of cottage cheese: 480
chocolate pudding: 120
egg crackers: 175
peanut butter: 300
small binge = 1315 calories + rest of day = 2770 calories. well, i'm actually fine with it. (don't ask!)
Breakfast: oatmeal with one scoop of chocolate protein powder and one egg in it...as well as some maple syrup on top. this dish was like an oatmeal pudding/soft cake. 300
snack 1: 1/2 pb sandwich 200
snack 2: 1/2 pb sandwich 200, packet of juice mix - 20
lunch: black beans and lettuce with olive oil 380?
snack 3: tortilla soup with kelp noodles and a plum. 340
snack 4: whole grain tam tam crackers. this turned into a small binge.
exercise: exercising at the university. update to come.
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Yes, you need to keep working at it. It's a process, and I truly believe that each person needs to find the process that works for them. For example, cold turkey won't work for everyone. You also have to want to stop the destructive habit. Do you think this is the case with you, or do you think that maybe somewhere deep down inside, you're enjoying the "kid in the candy store / eat all you can eat" feeling?
2300 calories isn't that bad. I've done 2400 and called it a good day before. I think it's the WAY you're eating most of your calories all at once that I worry about. And if you're at the point where it's interfering with your daily life, e.g. protective undergarments, well... that's probably a red flag, don't you think?
jon'smom on 10/13/2007:
I'm sorry to hear about the binging. I appreciate your honesty about everything you are going through. Admitting to everyone that you are binging shows you want to change this habit and I think you can! Just keep working on it.
legcramps on 10/13/2007:
What is kombucha?
Are you able to snack throughout the day? I know it might be hard to get into the routine at first, but it might help with the shakiness you're feeling and maybe even the bingeing too. Give it a try?