overall calories: 2250. oops. I chose to have some ice cream, almonds, pineapple sweetened cottage cheese after dinner. It's all good.
____________________________________________
Today is going well...I did have lots of (good) carbs after school: Two large apples, Kombucha tea, and a banana. total about 400 cal. At least it was really healthy, despite some extra sugars.
Calories so far: 1050 before dinner. I'll eat about 400 for dinner, maybe more. I'm being lenient tonight. It's gonna be a long one. I will walk on the treadmill NO MORE than a 1/2 hour. watch tv/study. I need some tv on when i study sometimes. haha. good distraction.
exercise: none
today at school I saw really poor behavior from a lot of the kids. Made my day much more challenging, especially bc there were a lot of subs working with me. Some kids took advantage! :( Oh well...better NOT get stressed about it. LOL, i should have laughed it off even more!!
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!
I apoligize for less commenting right now, but its necessary I do at least a little studying. I like to comment on everyone at once, not a few here and there...so if you don't see a comment right away, that is why! :)
Goodnight.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
edit: I am off to yoga...then dinner and studying...then bed :) I am looking foward to a good evening and no binging. Today was a great day! :)
Today's calories: 1740, but I'm definitely counting today as a success. pretty balanced eating, too.
Today's exercise 1hr, 45 min.
Total FEB exercise: 4hrs, 35 min :)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I walk into this Monday morning with high hopes for today. I want it to be a success as well as the days following. Of course, in the back of my mind, I have my recent struggle and 4 day binge, but I really do want success long-term - and not just to make up for four lousy days.
I woke up pretty early because I went to bed early so I'm sipping on carbonated tea and I will take a brief 15 min walk on the treadmill soon. I am not going to push morning exercise because I get too hungry while at work.
Evening edit: total calories are a wonderful 1360 which i'm so happy about. My 4day binge is officially over.
exercise: a wonderful 4 miles (1hr, 20 min.)
total FEB exercise: 2hrs, 50 min.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Afternoon entry:
calories so far are 880. NO need to go back for more because i just had a satisfying meal! I wanted to do yoga but i am still feeling the effects of ingesting too many sugar free candies so i cannot go today. I will walk at the park though. I plan to walk 4miles. come home, relax, study, go to bed early so I can have a positive start to the week and make it a good one.
Truthfully, I have found that I am drinking about 96-120 oz. of pure water a day. That is well water, not city/county provided..I have told myself, if I could down 64 oz. of diet pepsi a day (yes, that is what I would sometimes consume prior to 2 weeks ago), I could at least consume that or much more of water... I love water and that is not the case with most people. I sometimes do put a glass with 1/2 ice,lemon slice, then the rest ice...fill the glass with water and it has a refreshing tweek on plain water...
saturday night i had some sugar free candies...too many. i paid for it because i was in the bathroom ALL night!
saturday: 3700 cal. could be worse? lol. my goal is to NOT binge for the rest of the school year...and then never after that! a binge means eating more food than i make for myself, going back for seconds, etc. As long as I eat a portion and move on, I haven't binged.
tomorrow i have class...then yoga if i get out in time. otherwise, I'm taking a walk at the park.
today's exercise was kinda different. I walked with my grandmother and a slightly slow pace, but not really slow at all. so, i'm counting the hour we walked as one hour.
total exercise in feb: 1.5 hours. ok.
tomorrow is my test and i still have some studying to do. Based on how this test goes, i'll know what this teacher expects for the rest of the semester.
I am feeling better now and I do not see a need to binge again. It was a bad four days, since Wednesday, but they have passed and I'm looking foward to the future. :) Sometimes the idea of uncertainty of the future, my current lack of luster job, and just my current state really get me "down in the dumps," as a 2nd grader said to his friend the other day on the playground. haha, i thought it was so funny. anyway, i'm better, i'm stronger...i'm ready.
fyi, i got the results of how i did on one of the two entrance exams i took. I'm applying to four programs...and 3 exams were necessary. I got a 92 on the math, 96 on the reading, and a whopping 79 on the science. I laughed when i read the science score bc i knew i didn't do that well. Good thing is, it's the total average of the three parts that matters. I was invited back to observe there which means all is good! I also have an interview coming up later in February. Everything is so up in the air, I cannot wait till there is some certainty...then I will think about a job for the summer.
Good luck on your exam today, you'll do fine. an 89 average on the entrance exams is fantastic! Congrats!
Saturday. 3,000 so far. 10:20am
as for exercise, i haven't done much for an entire week! I'm not doing yoga today - too little time and i don't want to feel rushed. My plan is to resume yoga after tomorrow's class and test. Then, I have a promise with myself to commit to yoga 5X a week or more.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Friday:
3000 cals today. Could have been 1500 but i binged in both the morning and evening. evening calories included some ice cream/nuts/peanut butter/cookies...and boy do I want some more...
30 min exercise.
Have a good visit with your grandmother today. Eat the candies SLOWLY throughout the day...remember how much better it is when you eat SLOWLY and give your body a chance to tell you 'enough already'...You can do this!
their is another thing you can try i do this, buy chewing gum and when you feel the need to eat something pop a chewing gum in your mouth then you wont want the erge to eat inbetween meals/ snacks.
So keep this in mind, don't fly off the handle with bingeing, or you will spend the whole semester eating. It's just a very hard hurdle to overcome.
today's binge and calories = 3600 if i totaled it right. yesterday was 4300. i'm not doing well right now. i will do better. I will not restrict very much tomorrow or i will defitely binge.
i'm definitely stuffed and hurting...
this may be too much to think about, but if i even eat 1500 per day for only 5 days, but daily total would average 2200 for a week. that's not even terrible. ouch, my stomach hurts.
i was sweating all night last night from everything inside of me...i'll be doing that tonight as well. Why don't i just go to yoga instead of eating? I feel like if i go to yoga, i'll have no energy left to study. boy, i need to CALM DOWN!
This is just something you go through once in a while. It is a normal pattern for you. Don't worry today about counting how many 1500 calorie days you need in order to correct your binges. You had the binges...those days are done...just try and start over again tomorrow and don't twist those binge days into your other non-binge days. Take care of yourself.
I know, you're rolling your eyes at me right now, but honestly, this is what I do. Yesterday, I REALLY wanted some chocolate and knew that there was some on a kitchen shelf (hubby brought me a "treat"...yeah, thanks a lot!). As I was reaching up to the shelf, I stopped myself and said "NO. You are NOT doing that. Not after all the darn exercise and effort you've put into this week. NO!" I managed to walk away from it, and took the dogs for a walk, instead.
Thursday entry: so this morning didn't go that well. I indulged in a sugary yogurt, canned fruit, and LOTS of nuts and peanut butter. I hope I calculated right because I think i either forgot to add in one more serving of nuts of peanut butter. I guess it really doesn't matter that much anyway. total calories throughout my day until work ends will be 1700. My goal for total calories today is 2100 or 2200. This is possible but I feel like having a goal sets me up for more binging later after work.
_________________________________________
39 hours, 10 minutes is my final January 2008 exercise. I didn't reach 40 due to binging and bad planning.
Wednesday entry:
after all my talk of not binging anymore, i did just that. meaning, i woke up at 3am because of worrying, had a stressful day, came home and binged. approx. calories: 4300.
i actually feel sick right now. my stomach is full. done. i can only hope to not binge for awhile now - meaning for a couple weeks. Lack of sleep and stress about the class i'm taking is what contributed to this nasty binge.
some items included: 2 huge brownies, cookies, tons of ice cream, peanut butter, potato knish, frankfuters...etc.
25min walk in AM.
perhaps another short walk later. no yoga.
i haven't been commenting...i don't feel up to it right now.
I will repeat what i have written recently, saying binging is not the same anymore, neither is the desired effects a binge produces. I feel bad and its not worth the calories. I must say, the food didn't even taste very good! There are too many temptations in my house. (I don't buy them and its not up to me to tell anyone what to buy nor do i want to.)
Tuesday entry: I'm glad I did a 25 min walk this morning. I have unfortunately cancelled volunteering today. It was a long day and I need to study. It is WAY more important for me to do well in a class than rack up volunteer hours. I have decided that on my week off I can make up for the days I miss when I am working. I will volunteer 2 or 3 days inside of only 1 day on my vacation on February. After volunteering, the last thing a person wants to do is come home and study! I'm not even going to yoga tonight. I'm going to try to fit it in on Wednesday and probably not go on Thursday since I already have to stay at school an extra hour to provide extra help. I have been bingy...but healthy bingy all afternoon. calories so far are 1320 and I have just decided to give myself a break from the diet right now. I'm heading downstairs for one more handful of almonds making today's grand total of almonds reach 3.5 servings! whoa, a lot, but that's basically where i get all my fats.
calories so far: 1600.
exercise: 25 min and no more.
total exercise:38hrs, 45 min.
Monday entry:
As i sit here, I stuff my face. Definitely bingy...it's ok. The good thing, it's low cal, mostly healthy food. I planned on going to yoga today but have reconsidered and I am taking the night off from yoga. I didn't study last night....and i need to tonight. I have LOTS to memorize and I must start now, or at least tonight.
OK, time to study... :)
30 min exercise.
2150 cal.
total exercise: 38hrs, 20 min :)
Tomorrow is volunteering after work...then I plan on studying - no yoga. I will exercise in the AM again, like today, so that I do NOT have to exercise after work and I can just veg with index cards and the tv. That is my plan for tomorrow, nothing else. :)
I was looking over the past 30 days...SEVEN of them were binges, or eating over 2,000! wow! that's a lot! I didn't realize I was doing it so often! This amounts to almost twice a week...no wonder i don't see much progess as of yet! Time to suck it up and try harder!
exercise: 1hr, 50min
total exercise: 37hrs, 50min hours! yay for definitely breaking 40 by the end of this month! :)
calories: 1650. I was planning for lower but ended up having an apple and a banana after dinner with some parkay spray butter, cinnamon, and peanut spread. so, calories went up a bit. still healthy...and i did do yoga. I felt i needed the carbs! :)
My class in Anatomy and Physiology went well today. There are many people in the class with prior knowledge, though. So, I have a lot of work in store for me! That's ok. The class ended so early that I was able to have a nice lunch and go to yoga at 3pm! I'm so glad I went despite being tired.
For some reason, I have been exhausted all weekend. I think I may have been dehydrated from the hot yoga. drinking black tea probably didn't help. Also, I missed a lot of sleep since last week. All these factors probably contributed to my energy levels.
On another note, I am proud of myself for staying under 2000 and not having any massive issues with calories, especially during the weekend. I do better when I have things to do, for sure! I am looking foward to a continued success in my weightloss throughout the spring.
Goodnight everyone.
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Hey, good deal on the healthy carbs. You can have a good dinner and a good total cal overall. So are you a teacher?
thinnsidenotout on 02/05/2008:
Too bad you had to deal with disrespectful students...Makes it hard on the ones that really want to learn... Tomorrow will be better..Keep up the good work!
hollybelle on 02/05/2008:
Kids! I don't know how the teachers do it, really! Good day you had. YAY!
workingit2 on 02/05/2008:
Kids get away with so much poor behavior at home anymore, it is shameful. You reminded me that I need some bananas! lol have a great evening =)
shadetree on 02/06/2008:
My stepmother is retiring this year - she was my oldest brother's fourth grade teacher, and he will be 45 next month. I really don't know how she's done it all these years!
I always had to have the tv on when I studied too...My husband used to get irritated, couldn't understand how I could study with the noise - I used to tell him that it helps drown out the voices in my head. (I think that scared him a little, but he doesn't understand that what I meant was it distracts me just enough that I don't start thinking about all the other stuff I needed to get done etc...)
anyway, hope you have a great day!
mylifechanges on 02/06/2008:
Hi friend! Just checking in with you. It's been so long- and I feel terrible! I'm glad to see that you're still kicking! I'm sorry that you're having a hard time with your kids at school. I always find that frustrating as well, but you're right- it's easier to laugh your way through it. :) Have a wonderful day!
harleygirl79 on 02/06/2008:
God Bless ya for what you do. We had 2 teachers assaulted here in Cleveland over the last month. One had his neck broken and has taught at the school for 30 years. He wants to go back. I believe teachers are an extrordinary breed.
rae_regenbogen on 02/06/2008:
I always like having the t.v on when I study too. I can't focus when the room is too quiet, but music with lyrics is too distracting. Television or instrumental music always seems to help! :)
borntocry on 02/06/2008:
Hi HoP! Glad to see things are going a little better for you, despite the kids causing you trouble. My best friend is also a teacher, and I must say, I don't know how you guys do it! I'd be running out of the classroom in tears every time, haha!
Thanks for your comment. You know me too well! Cooking is exactly what I did do last night. It was productive, especially as everything I made turned out well, although my husband complained about the smell, kind of like your mom.
If you're interested, you can see a picture of that treacherous rye and honey "croissant" over here:
http://www.arnaud-delmontel.com/images/dyn/grande/2007-08-Delmontel-06.jpg