WorkingIt points: 5 (0 for staying in calorie range, 1 for exercise...no yoga today)
Hey all. My life has been a major food battle since the New Year! Today I binged. However, I do not feel totally out of control now and I still figure I can make things better. Like I say in people's journals, it's never too late to make a change. I'm working on it.
I ate so healthy at the beginning of Sunday morning:
Breakfast: 3 apricots, one emergen-c drink, 1 egg, and one seaweed salad. I was actually full before the salad but I had it anyway. 200 calories total for that big breakfast!
Snack after going for a jog/walk: baked teryaki tofu, apple, tomato: 270 calories.
I decided I was too tired from the exercise to go to yoga, since it would start in only an hour and a half from when I got back home after jogging and walking. I then fell asleep!! This never happens!!! I slept for around 1 hour.
After I woke up, I had a whole pound of frozen sliced peppers (only about 100 calories!). I wasn't even hungry when I woke up. arg. I was then freezing after consuming such a cold thing!
Then, I had some tea to warm me up but was still cold and the binge began....
I started with a microwavable eggplant parmasean...with cheese even though I've been staying away from dairy. It was VERY good. Then I binged on LOTS of "tam tam" crackers that are similiar to ritz crackers, tons of cookies with hazelnut filling, some caramel popcorn, and some tostitos. I also had one of those "whipped" mousse chocolate flavored yogurts. Oh, I also had some pretzels too. LOL.
I then went out to eat at a mexican restaurant on my date with someone I met through a friend this past Friday. I orderred a chicken salad with lots of grilled chicken but it also included some sauteed vegetables and dressing on the salad. I didn't realize there would be dressing. I definitely didn't eat the whole thing, but enjoyed the sauteed peppers and onions.
I hope today didn't go over 3500 calories. That is what I am recording for the day. Before I went out to dinner, the total was 3002 calories. As I said, lots of binging in the afternoon!
I did some calculations, and now my progress (or setback) will be halted 23 long days! yeah, 23 days is what it takes to fix my calories and adjust for my binging...which has been happening like every two days almost, steadily since new years!!! agh!
goodnight all, thanks for your comments. I'm still loving the seaweed.
My date was good. But, I'm not attracted to him physically. yeah, I do feel it's important to be attracted somewhat by looks. I may hang out with him in a group, but probably not alone again. We'll see. No point in leading someone on. and, although I don't date often, I still don't feel the need to go out with him again. He's a nice guy, though. Perhaps i shouldn't be as picky as I am?
I really want to fix my eating! I am sick of these binges. I don't want to add refined carbs in; but that mousse yogurt was soooo good. and pure sugar! Is that what I want to eat???
I'm not sure what type of diet I want. the carbs make me feel good after I binge! I'm gonna have to think long and hard. I'll let you know what I decide.
Runner and BTC, I hope all is well!
WorkingIt points: 7. I was skimpy on the walking. Everything else was great.
Dinner: TWO seaweed salads, one smoked teryaki flavored tofu that I never tried and love, and a few grape tomatoes.
Total Calories: 1505, over by 5 or so. Not bad.
Now I'm back from yoga. I'm pretty hungry but don't have many calories left due to a rather large, but better than usual for this week, lunch! I just had one seaweed salad. Now, I'm having another. Anything that will really fill me up. I tried another seaweed today and it was horrible!! I felt like I was eating ocean water! I returned it and got my money back!
Tomorrow I have a lesson to give and then i'm going out to dinner with a guy my friend was nice enough to introduce me to. He's a nice guy and I had a good time hanging out with him Friday evening when a couple of my friends were there too. We'll be going to a restaurant around here. LOL, he even knows that I'm a little, or a lot!!!, nutty with food! He didn't seem to mind!
I may update one more time tonight, maybe not!
Goodnight everyone! _______________________________________
Snack before teaching a lesson: small piece of steamed tuna
Snack after lesson: whole pound of frozen sliced peppers
Lunch: 2 containers of brussel sprouts, bag of salad, smoked salmon (LOX), one grapefruit, seaweed salad (finally my order came in so I have a lot of them in my house now!), and 8 braided pretzels. for desserts, I've decided to incorporate some refined carbs when I like! LOL. I was satisfied before I had the pretzels, but I figurred I'd use some of my caloric budget on them!
so far today: 1245 calories.
I bought some really good foods today...smoked tofu, lox, some "pulled bbq chicken," lots of veggies, seaweed salad. I figure that for snacks and refined carbs, I'll eat what's readily available in my house...no need to spend my extra money...since I spend a lot buying things people in my house don't eat/want... when we have enough cookies/snacks here. I live in a very healthy house, but we have a cookie/chip often enough that i don't have to buy them.
For diner: I plan on having another seaweed salad, smoked tofu, and something else for 55 calories (I'm not sure what). Maybe just another seaweed salad..but that doesn't sound good. Maybe I'll have an orange. That sounds good. So far today, so good.
Breakfast, 430 calories: one low cal (not artificial) packet in my water, one apple, two medium tomatoes, two whole packages of nori (20 sheets total), one egg.
I had nowhere to be early in the morning, although I woke up at 6am! so, I had a little more food than usual, but I tried to eat foods that would take awhile and leave me satisfied and not craving more. It worked!
I teach a French horn lesson at 11am and I plan on doing yoga later at 5pm. I'll catch up with all of you during the day!
Oh..and thanks for the kind comment you left me!! =)
Hey all. WorkingIt points: 7. I'm not proud of how little i'be walked in the past couple days! I've got to improve my walking! Will work on that more starting tomorrow!
I stuck to 1500 today! yay! I ate REALLY awesome things and I am excited to do the same tomorrow:
Breakfast: 1 fizz drink, 1 egg, one apple
Lunch: 2 yellow peppers, 1 frozen pound of brussel sprouts!, 1/2 a package of tofu, 1 orange.
Snack: Carrots and tahini
Snack: 1 tomato
Snack: 1/2 block of tufu, some hummus, some guacamole
Dinner: one yellow pepper, salad, one tomato, lightly seasoned microwavable cauliflower and broccoli, some tuna steak.
I want to enjoy tomorrow's meals like I did today's!
5 WorkingIt Points...nada on calories
Edit:
Yesterday's foods: Breakfast: 1 egg, two yellow peppers, one fizzy drink packet
Snack/turned into Binge: 1/2 package of tofu in car...when I got home: 2 tomatoes, carrots, grapefruit, cooked tuna steak, tahini (like peanut butter but made of sesame seeds), 4 piroulettes cookies, 6 jell cookies, 8 double chocolate truffles, 5 large m&m filled cookies.
Late after yoga: Large seaweed salad, entire light package of tofu.
Total calories: 2500
I didn't fight the urge to binge today, and binged. It wasn't as bad as a couple days ago. Today's calories are 2500. It's alright. It's over, tomorrow will be better. I'll explain what happened:
I thought I had to work today. I went to work and the teacher I'll be subbing for told me he meant NEXT THURSDAY!!! so, I came home. I wasn't upset at all, but I guess I was flustered and realized I'd have more time to get things done and not have to do it all on Friday. I also binged! I had a really healthy lunch, but it wasn't planned well. I didn't want the lunch I was going to have at school so because I changed my plans I didn't think soon enough and the binge came on. It started with chocolates and ended with cookies. blah blah. you know the deal.
GG, I guess you've been away from refined carbs so long..but do you ever think about them? what do you do to keep yourself from them? gosh, I love these healthy foods...I haven't even been loving the taste of the refined carbs! I don't know. I feel like I'm fighting myself!
Fortunately I've been able to eliminate cookies from my list of dangerous foods, but if in a room with Pecan Sandies, there's no telling how many I'll eat!
At the moment, there are too many other delectable foods that I simply can't resist. I don't eat junk at all. Just regular, good food will do me in. I love good food. The worst part is that like BTC and GG, I have an appetite problem. I can eat and eat and never get full. I NEVER have that problem of feeling overly full or sick from eating too much.
WorkingIt points: 7! No walking on treadmill today, sadly!
Today I did nicely. I cought myself in that "feeling" I have before I binge. I tell you, it's one strong set of emotions!
Calories for today were 1210.
Menu for today: Breakfast: 1 egg, one water supplement fizz drink thing, one large tomato, one small yellow pepper.
Lunch: Seaweed salad, one full head of cauliflower, 1/2 a package of tofu, baby carrots, one pickle, and one apple. yeah, lots of food...great food!
Snack: Grapefruit...my body kept thinking it wanted more food...but I stopped there.
Dinner: Package of brussel sprouts (my favorite, I stick them in the microwave for about 6 minutues until they're soft!), 3 sliced red and yellow peppers, one cucumber sliced with oil and vinegar and spices, lots of tofu (although I just bought some cooked tuna at the store...I'll have some tomorrow!)
Big meals...I enjoyed eating all those healthy foods today! I plan on staying this way for awhile! Of course, it's easier to eat this way when you're having meals at home. Tomorrow I'll be having lunch at work...so it wont be like today's. It'll be more like carrots and tuna steak (a good filet, steamed - next time i'll get it seared..almost not cooked at all since it's the same tuna they use for sushi - which is raw - from the fish market!)
Busy day today with the plumber. we had a leak with our boiler today..I'm glad I noticed!!!! It's still not completely fixed, although for the moment it working!
I found that if I give myself something to eat after my workout, before I go to bed..it helps me into the next day. So I know what you mean about that!
Seriously, I have a big smile on my face and even said "atta girl!" when I read this entry. I am so happy that you are taking control of the binge/starve cycle and that you will find so much strength and power because of it. Way to GO!!!
WorkingIt points: 2 fruit/veg, 1 exercise, 1 calories, 2 water. Total of 6 points.
I only gave myself 1 point for calories because it should have been 1200, but due to certain "busy" circumstances, it's closer to around 1,000. I don't want a repeat of a binge-starve cycle and I made sure I satisfied my stomach before bed. I was chaperoning a long time and didn't eat much until after. I do not see another binge in the near future. I am trying hard. I did exercise, but no cardio only yoga today. I drank water, but I could have had a little more while chaperoning.
WorkingIt, you're right. I believe you were saying that I tend to eat more before I have some king of challenge, i think? is that what you mean? I do, partially because I stress about the challenge. The eating sedates me and then I finally concentrate on the challenge. I'd rather not continue that way!
I'm working on not repeating what's been going on any time soon. With a new job officially starting the 22nd, I can't afford another binge repeat. Also, I have to go into the school this Thursday and I certainly don't plan on overeating tomorrow!
umm, foods were healthy today (but i've been eating too many eggs lately...I haven't been able to go to the store to buy any fish and I just got some more tofu today!)
Goodnight!
Points for Today: 6. 2 each for water, exercise and fruits/veggies. But zilch on calories. I'm not sure what my deal is. I had a total of 4315 calories in ONE SITTING! yeah. Total of 4600 for the day. Now i'm just farther back from being on track.
I'll tell you about it. I had a fantastic breakfast: 285 calories: one emergen-c water packet thing, 1 egg, 1/4 avacado, 1 tiny yellow pepper, brussel sprouts, and a little salad.
I went to yoga, had a great time. I was hungry, but did errands after. Went to the bank and bought a comb and other health supplies at a nearby store. Went into a nutrition store (I am easily tempted) and bought some cool tea I never tried and sesame tahini (like peanut butter but made from sesame seeds and high in fiber - 4 grams).
Came home, had a large tomato and listened to my phone messages and looked at emails because I needed to see if my chairperson would write a letter of recommendation and if she needed my reply or any more info. She did, so it's good I looked.
I had the rest of my lunch: 1 steamed eggplant, a lot of steamed broccoli, 1/2 an avacado (usually 1/4 but I went back for more---shouldn't have), 1 egg, 1 apple. Then, I reached for a small 1/4 cup of mixed fruit/white chocolate and nuts. But, I shouldn't have because it turned into 1 1/4 cups of mixed dried fruit/nuts/white chocolate (adds up to a hearty 750 calories just for that). After that, I had 2 cookies with filling, 5 butter cookies, 500 calories in chocolate truffles, small bag of peanuts (from the plane lol), 1/2 cup of granola, 3 servings of Tam Tam crackers (like ritz crackers), 4 braided wheat thin pretzels, 1/2 cup pineapple flavored cottage cheese, 1 cinnamon raison oatmeal powerbar, 6 jell rings (chocolate covered jells.) I'm not sure if I forgot something.
I was satisfied with lunch and planning on going to yoga this evening....until the binge began... Now I can't, unless i want to puke there.
By my lovely calculations, I need 19 days of 1500 calories to bring my average calories to a hair below 1800 per day. This includes calculations with my 9 prior days to today as well.
Obviously its not easy to do it for 19 days, but I kinda have to...unless I want to suffer the effects of extra calories in and not out. (weight gain....like a few pounds...)
My binge was on fats and carbs. What does that mean? I think it means comfort and nothing else. I was eating carbs and fat already. Maybe not refined carbs, but I was eating them and I refuse for that to be the reason for my binge. I know the reason, and it was anxiety. Sure, there are people in the world with bigger problems than my own, but right now I'm having a pretty tough time dealing. If I feel as full as I am right now tomorrow, I'll probably keep it a 1200 calorie day, not 1500. I will do the same on Wednesday. Hopefully, that will not mean I will binge on Thursday!
gosh, I've binged 3 days in one week. I was doing so well from the day after Thanksgiving till New Years! I can't believe myself! arg!!!
It can only get better....NOT WORSE!
Moody talked about being home and being emotional. Well, that's my whole issue.
I was reading an interesting article. It talks about how binge-eating is connected to metabolic disorders and hormonal imbalances. I left the article out for my mom, i'll report back what she says. It talks about binge eating and craving sugar and fats as a link to too much testosterone and not enough oestrogen. I am almost positive that I DO have this condition.
My best suggestion is to really, and I mean REALLY get in touch with yourself when you are feeling stressed or anxious and feel a binge coming on..The first step has to be awareness..then you realize that you are feeding the stress and not dealing with it...well you ARE dealing with it but not in a good way!! Something I have done too too many times to count..
Take care...
Hello everyone. 8 WorkingIt points!
I had another good day today! 1200 calories.
I woke up and planned to do yoga in the morning, but kept putting it off till 3pm. I practiced the horn and cleaned up a bit until then. I also took almost an hour walk, which did my body some good! I haven't been walking often lately!
Menu for today: Breakfast: defintely a little too large considering I only had 755 calories left for the remainder of the day: 1 apple, 1 packet of emergen-c sweetner (no artificial sugars), 1/2 a package of tofu, 1 egg, and a whole package of nori (what you use to wrap around sushi rice).
Lunch/Snack: 2 seaweed salads and 1 egg
Snack: grapefruit
Snack: 2 Activa packets for yoga (another low cal sweetner, no artificial sugars)
Snack: a small package of salted peanuts after yoga
Dinner: 4 small zucchini, seaweed salad (the third one that I made earlier, but didn't want then!), 1/4 avacado, and one egg.
Met a friend at dunkin donuts: tea with some sugar
Before Bed: 4 small yellow peppers.
Total: 1200.
Seaweed salad is certainly VERY slimy/glossy in texture because it is wet. There are all different types of seaweed in the salad, but the majority is dark green, flat shiny strips. Other seaweed is actually clear and resembles plastic!!! A little bit of it is purple and looks like part of a bush/tree! I like it, but it's definitely an acquired taste...and I had so much that I think I'm getting sick of it for awhile!
mylifechanges, I buy the chilean sea bass steamed. I'm not allowed to cook fish in the house because it smells too much! It tastes so good, practically like butter! So, I go to the fish store and buy enough of whatever I like to last me the week!
goodnight everyone! I wish you all continued success!
oh, workingit, I know you always mean what you say to help and support us! I love how honest and helpful you are, so don't change!
WorkingIt points: 8 yay!
I can't believe how many people left comments on my last journal entry! Thank you so much to all of you!
Today was a much better day. I pulled an approximate 1200 calories on the dot! For the next 3 days, I am keeping a 1200 calorie a day diet. It is doable, but very challenging. As long as I keep breakfast small, I generally am ok. The reason I'm dropping down to 1200 a day is because of my Wednesday binge of 5110 calories and then Friday's 3990 calories. I obviously need to balance those days out a little bit! I know I won't be able to keep 1200 for so many days in a row, that's why I'm only doing 3. Then, I'll stick to 1500.
Ok, so I woke up and took a yoga class at 8:15am. Then, I went to pick up more of the seaweed salad that I just tried and really like. It comes in a little package, I'll dried up. You put all the ingredients in a large bowl, fill with 3 cups of water and then the seaweed "explodes." The seaweed forms into about 2 full cups worth, when in the package you could have probably fit the dried seaweed into something smaller than a cup! I like it without seasoning, but some people would probably beg to differ. I only know of it being sold in one store by me.
Food today: Breakfast:a packet of low cal sweetner in my water and 2 pieces of tofu. Snack: seaweed salad, large tomato, 2 pieces of tofu Lunch: 2 seaweed salads, a package of portabella mushrooms, 1 egg, one grapefruit, one apple. (a bit much, but good). 1 Hour after lunch: one large yellow pepper Dinner: seaweed salad, Chilean sea bass, broccoli spears, and a microwavable package of lightly seasoned broccoli and carrots in a really light sauce.
see, I tend to try a new food, and, if I like it, I will eat it like a maniac for a few days. LOL. It's extremely low in calories, each seaweed salad is worth 40 calories and is about 2 cups worth!
After lunch, I went to teach a French horn lesson. Then, I came home and cleaned up my paperwork a bit. Later on, I went to ANOTHER yoga class at 5pm!!! I have an unlimited pass for this month, so I'm taking advantage. Like many of you know, I have a few days off from work currently. However, I'm still involved with the school district and I'll be chaperoning a trip next week and such.
I just noticed one new job posting online. Hopefully there will be a few more soon so I can start applying. I've called someone I worked with last year to write a letter of reccommendation. I'm going to ask 3 of my supervisors this year to also write me one! The job I saw online wants 3 letters of reccommendation. That's almost unheard of! Usually, they just want the references!
Everyone have a great evening!
Glad that you got to take not one but TWO yoga classes!!! Good for you for making sure that you are doing things YOU enjoy!!!
About the seaweed...can you describe what it tastes like?? For some reason I am thinking salty because of the ocean! But that really doesn't make any sense! And is it slimy??
#### WorkingIt Points: amazingly, 6. Doing everything right except the food intake! LOL.
MOODY: i'm not always hungry on the binges...I just get a nervous-tense kind of shaky feeling like I need food. It's all in my head. The binge today was not because of hunger. However, if I do go too long without food, I will also do that kind of binge, when I'm ravenous.
****Last edit: total daily calories today: 3990. :(
edit: past 3 day caloric avg. is 3300. whoa!!!! It'll take about 20 days of around 1500 a day to balance it...I'm nervous.
okay, workingit, i'm in a bit of trouble right now. I've binged again today. I was eating really healthy all morning; and the minute after I drove my sister to the train and came back to an empty house I started to eat.
Really healthy at first, a packet of water flavoring stuff, 1 yellow pepper, 2 servings of tofu, an apple, a large tomato, another yellow pepper, a package of nori, a container of brussels, a piece of chilean sea bass fish...
moving on to two apples, then an orange, then: 8 tablespoons peanut butter, 1 cup of nuts/white chocolate/dried cranberry mix, 4 truffles, 3 more truffles, 570 calories worth in mini chocolate chip cookies, and 6 butter cookies.
I don't buy any of the food i binged on, they were gifts and belong to everyone in my house. I am having lots of trouble!
I know, workingit, you spoke about people who eat unhealthfully. I'm having a really hard time right now. Does anyone have any advice?
speak to you all soon. As far as yoga is concerned, I'm going tomorrow morning, because if I go in a few hours, I still will not be able to bend correctly in all the poses. argh!
I searched for info on eating too much seaweed. It just says that its high in minerals, but says nothing bad. Except for extra salt, but what I was eating lists that it doesn't contain any salt. hmm. something to think about!
it's gonna take about 14 days for me to make up for this chaos! These past three days average at 3137 calories per day!
http://cgi.www.recovery.org.uk/food/food.html
On the positive side, you KNOW what you should eat, and do, but not always. I'm in the same boat too!
Thanks for your kind comment today..btw..made me smile! =D
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Hi Horn of Plenty!
Thanks for your comment, and for saying you missed me!
It's funny, I've been having quite a lot of seaweed lately as well, which isn't really like me. But it seems to be a pretty healthy food, with lots of protein, iron and calcium, for very few calories. So maybe I should make a habit of it!
I can understand your reluctance to add refined carbs back into your diet, but it might not be such a bad idea. I followed a high-protein diet for a while and lost a lot of weight (okay, just a few pounds, but for me that's a lot!), but I did find myself binging on carbs on a pretty regular basis. Now I aim for more of a balance and seem to binge less. (Although it's quite possible that the next binge is just around the corner, so you never know!)
Runner on 01/15/2007:
I love sushi, too! It's so cheap here in Asia. I can eat it all the time and it's so affordable. Thanks for asking about BTC and myself! It's just been such a busy time lately...I haven't been avoiding this site on purpose, but I would like to actually lose a pound one of these days and be able to record it!