the unfortunate: my calories for the past two days and the way i have dealt with my emotions (eating).
the positive: keeping up with exercise and using most of my time wisely.
i actually made it to yoga today. :) 8am-9:30am. also a 20 minute bike ride and a 6 mi walk. :)
then i got ready for the bridal shower which was pretty good actually. the mother was very creative and it was a good time considering i really didn't know many people there.
i ate pretty well up to and even during the shower but i gave in when i got home. i'll be back on track tomorrow.
breakfast: coconut water (right before yoga) 60
later breakfast: 1/2 pear, fiber one, milk 250
shower: salad with dressing, steamed broccoli, eggplant parmisean 900?? and coffee...930
after shower/dinner: 2 plums 80, the rest of the seared tuna from yesterday 450?, 1/4 of a pound cake 450, yogurt 70, milk 60, 3 granola bars 420, and chocolate candies with marzipan and coconut in them 350.
3200 would be an approximate for today. :(
it's due to what workingit said, my social anxieties causing me to eat before, during, and after them.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
you were all so kind to leave me motivational/supportive comments despite my erratic eating today! :)
3000 cal before dinner.
dinner: seaweed salad with dressing, seared tuna with dressing (yuck - dressing!) i didn't eat too much. i'm guessing i had 600 tops.
3600 cals today.
exercise: 4 mi walk, 30 minute bike ride. :)
bed. tomorrow i have a bridal shower. i plan on commenting tomorrow evening on your entries. :)
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
sat, 10am:
very full: no yoga. just had 1525 more junk food calories. chocolate and all.
total so far today: 2965.
_____________________________________________
saturday am entry: woke up VERY early probably because i need some adreneline to make it through the weekend!
BIG breakfast: big bowl of cereal and milk (350), two light activia yogurts (140), 3 tablespoons pb (300), 2 bananas (230), 3 servings tortilla chips (420)
total breakfast: 1440 sheesh! I need to SLOW DOWN...BREATHE. I will go to yoga still, I think around 9:30.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Friday entry:
today was good. i was FAR LESS hungry all day, especially in the morning. i didn't go for my usual mile walk at lunch because the heat was 100 degrees and i didn't need to come back soaking wet from sweat!
exercise: 1 mile during work, bike ride for 50 minutes.
food: throughout day 1,000.
dinner: cheesecake factory: salad, quesadilla, summer rolls, coffee: should not be more than 1200.
total for today: probably not over 2200.
alright.
i'll be going out to dinner again tomorrow night and sunday i have a bridal shower. i hope to enjoy food and at the same time stay within a moderate range for my weight.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!
The day is early...Do you have anything you can do that would keep you busy if it's too hot to get outside? I enjoy painting and drawing and time literally flies as I lose myself in that..and food/eating is the last thing on my mind...Hmmm, thinking I need to pick up a pencil or brush..heh
Wishing you the best of days~hang in there hon~
how are you all? i'm pretty good. the guy still hasn't emailed back. interesting, i'd say! i've pretty much already made plans ALL weekend. so it might have to wait till either sunday or next week to get together with him again (if he still wants to, of course!)
2 mi walk during work, walk/jog tonight.
breakfast: not too hungry, peanuts, peach: 170
snack: fiber bar
snack: peanut butter sandwich, protein shake: 440 i'm never buying those protein shakes again they're terrible!
snack: coffee
lunch: yogurts and peach
dinner: salad, more veggies, 1/2 block of tofu and 2 veggie burgers. followed by extra large cup of almond milk 640
total cal: 1460
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
thursday entry:
my weight is back around 123 this morning which i am thankful for. hopefully it'll stick! it's been awhile since my weight changed so dramatically each day. i've never remembered stepping on a scale to see changes in as much as 4 lbs day to day! especially bc i always weigh in in the morning.
(yesterday's calories are really 1420 because late at night i had 10 servings of sugar free strawberry jelly) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
wed entry:
although i had a new low the other day...and i thought at least 2 lbs would stick, my weight was back to 126 today! not cool!
i've definitely eating way too much sugar in the mornings. i ate a ton of nutrition bars (like around 5) at work today and didn't even eat lunch because my stomach was too upset. too much fiber! anyways, i had 900 calories up until dinner, most eaten before 10am this morning.
early dinner: vegetables, tofu, sweet and sour tuna: 340.
total cal: 1250 right now.
snack in evening: one tomao, one pepper 70
total: 1320 :)
work was good. still no return of email from the guy i went on a date with. he wrote to me monday asking if i wanted to go out again and i said yes. but he hasn't said anything since monday. ah, it's still early.
have a good evening. i am going to try to hold off having anything sweet after dinner today. i'm going crazy at work in the mornings because i'm not sure if i'm hungry or just emotional and wanting sweet things.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
Don't worry bout the guy~It's early like you said and I bet he's busy during the week as well!!
Have a wonderful day!
wednesday: woke up really hungry! too many blueberries 120, cereal, peanuts, milk: 250.
i want to reach for some bread and peanut butter but i'm pretty satisfied so i won't.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
tuesday
90 cal tofu in evening...1765 total.
bingey today. i felt it ALL day. ugh!
calories for dinner were kinda large and carby: 700.
overall calories today: 1675. alright, as long as i get in my bikeride when i regain my energy back!
work was good. got my walking in.
nothing much else to report except that i'm feeling so bingey lately!
exercise: 2 mi at work and bike ride.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
Re: name change ~ I knew everybody would know it was me and that was fine, just needed my few weeks back comments/posts to be put to "private" status and to change the name was the easiest way to keep everything and not have to take the time to "weed" through the previous entries and have to delete them... Due to a person I am having trouble with knowing about DD and maybe figuring out which user name I was and basically "snooping" through "MY DIARY"... Sounds like real adult behaviour doesn't it? Never grow up H_O_P..... Stay young!
Have a good evening my friend!
Tuesday morning edit: my weight was abnormally low, not to complain! lol, that's great as long as it stays down! I may be just a tad dehydrated. but this is a cool new weight to list.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Monday evening entry:
around 500 calories for dinner. possibly too many carbs. but overall ok.
total calories: 1500
exercise: 2 mi at work. walk/jog in evening. 45 min.
good day at work. my date emailed me (instead of calling) today since our first date saturday night. i think that was a good idea on his part since we did meet online anyway. he wants to know if i want to go out for ices which i think is pretty laid back and should be fun. so i think that's what we will be doing at some point. i'm not a huge fan for going out during the week but i guess i could make an exception, right?
have a good evening everyone.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
RELAX.
Have a good time. Then come home and tell us all about it.
the good of today: 6 miles walking, 90 minutes hot yoga, and 40 minute bike ride.
the bad: calories and sitting at my computer. some unproductivity (not a word!?)
to be improved: deal with issues in a grown up way - write how i feel down. call a friend. move on!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i don't know what happened. or, rather i do. i decided to stay home after lunch and somehow ended up binging.
920 good calories including breakfast, a snack, and lunch. then, one hour later, a binge:
3 huge pita bread type things, 2 klondike bars, 1 carvel flying saucer, 3 large granola bars. this all added up to around 1700 calories. all the food was not purchased by me - rather my parents.
total calories for the day after my binge at 2pm are: 2630.
I have no reason to eat anything else today.
i always ruin my progress. i have a feeling this binge also has to do with my lack of ability to remain calm about dating - although it all went well yesterday.
i even wrote last night specifically how i would NOT binge today. anyways, so far i have had a bike ride and yoga. perhaps a LONG walk later.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Hope your day starts looking up!
my date included a live orchestra (that i used to play in!!!) and a really brilliant display of fireworks. the fireworks were the best part and they went on for a long time - perhaps even 20 minutes. it was a wonderful date tonight! i was sooooo nervous bc it's been quite a number of months. but this guy is down to earth and fun to be around. haha. i'm just saying a had a good time and can actually see it going further. :) he asked what i was doing tomorrow night (which is sunday...) but then he realized today was sat night and so we just said we will get together soon. gave me a kiss on the cheek...good guy. i hope he thinks the same of me - he said he had a great time too.
breakfast: cereal, milk, fruit. 220
snack: coconut water 60
lunch: tofu on toast and salad: 250
snack: 3 plums 100
snack: iced coffee 60
snack: special k protein bar 170
snack: peanuts and raisins during date haha, he's a health nut and he brought them to the outdoor concert with fireworks that we went to. 250 at most.
snack at night when i got home: 1/2 cup blueberries, tofu dipped in yogurt. lol, i like it. 200
no real dinner, just snacks.
total: 1310. nice day today. :)
plans for tomorrow: yoga...walking at the cross island...clean my bathroom and vacuum my floor??? i should! i will actually write down plans for myself so that i don't end up binging or doing something destructive like that! this should be a summer to remember!
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
i'm going on a date tomorrow and i feel so flabby and gross. ugh. i went to target to try on some clothes and the 6's were to snug. not happy. i was under the impression that i am a size 6 but apparently not yet. rather than obsess over size, i am unhappy with the amount of fat and flab i have and lack of muscle. yuck! especially when looking in the mirror in the dressing room!
well, i ate alright during the day. HUGE binge feelings, as usual for this week.
dinner was large i guess for a late dinner around 8pm. maybe if i made an effort to eat bigger earlier in the day i would see better results if that's what i really want. however, i don't know how feasible that is. i love to eat a lot because i like the feeling. maybe if i do eat a big breakfast and lunch and then just concentrate on exercise after work and a satisfying salad with protein i can reach my goals. i think i will try it. I can eat a pb sandwich for breakfast maybe with a plain yogurt too...then for lunch i can have another yogurt with whatever microwavable meal or sandwich (i probably will not bring sandwiches i don't like them for lunch) and snack on bars/fruit. then dinner can be light - no starchy carbs/grains. i think i will feel much better and look much better sooner. :( i'm not excited for this way of eating, by the way.
dinner today was: smart ones quesadillas (440), salad (40), plain yogurt that i dipped with the quesadillas (80), 1/2 cup blueberries (40). i should make this my lunch and i think i'd be better off. I HATE using so many calories so early in the day but perhaps it's the only way. total dinner calories: 600 which is too much i guess for 8pm. of course, this is NOT a binge or anything. maybe i'm just being too hard on myself and i don't need to change anything to see the results which are coming slowly because of the binges which have ocurred lately. i hope that's what it is!
total calories today: 1570. at least it's in the 1500's which was my goal.
exercise: 2 mi during work, that's it. maybe a walk downstairs later. not so happy right now about my lack of progress in weightloss.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Have fun on your date!
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Hi HOP! Sounds like you had a great party, yay! i love that eggplant dish and the seared tuna, leftover or not!
maria777 on 07/20/2008:
Hang in there, Friend.
thinnside40 on 07/20/2008:
Oh poop!..... Sorry...... I am the opposite and am not hungry when it comes to social events or stress..... So that tells you that my struggle with food is pretty much ALL the time, especially when things are going smoothly...I love to eat at night!
peaceelovee on 07/20/2008:
Its okay. I ate really really bad yesterday and that just made me want to eat even better today. I know you can do it. I'm glad the shower was nice...ive never been to one!
grumpy on 07/20/2008:
hey dear, i was thinking to myself, why would she have social anxieties, being that she's such a smart and talented girl (dont think i forget about the carnegie hall!) and she's so close to her goal weight. when i am bummed about going somewhere it's usually because of my weight, and i am not anymore, even though i am still far from my ideal weight. anyway, i know this is not racional, i am not either when it comes to my anxieties, but i agree with what WI3 said, you're handling it well. I thought to myself the other day how brave and honest you are posting all your cals even on your worst days. I learn a lot from you. xoxo
selina on 07/21/2008:
Hey HOP, I guess my early comment was BEFORE you added an update... I know what you mean, I see myself doing the same - doing very well at the party and seeing a total meltdown when I get home and relax. It's almost always like that. But, once you know your tendencies, it's easier to manage. Next time, I have to remind myself to go for a walk just after I come back home and relax, before I attack the fridge or the cupboard. I still like your eggplant and tuna... Hang in there.
WI3 on 07/21/2008:
There is help for social anxiety. You don't have to struggle with the things you've been struggling with. Counseling, anxiety medications, joining a speaking group like Toastmasters can also help with social anxiety. You may have a negative opinion of yourself and be fearful that you won't measure up to the people in the room...so rather than face their rejection, you reject yourself first by sabatoging your own plans, goals and dreams of your personal self. If you can be upset with you, you can focus that frustration instead of the fear and frustration of social situations...not to mention you can hurt yourself because of those negative feelings about yourself, before anyone else can hurt you with theirs.
I think often it is easy for us to write off our out of control days, as 'emotional' eating..which, is true in a sense...but if there is an underlying real issue (like a social fear) that is systematic and constant, it may mean that we need just a little more help than someone else who may have an off day every few weeks.
I hope I am not being inappropriate and I am really not trying to suggest anything..I guess I'm just saying that if you feel it is more than an emotional thing, I'm in your corner. Of course, I am in your corner anyway =)
Sorry if I went too far.
Have a fantastic day!