day 42, around 1175 calories! whoa. nice. I didn't even have too hard a time controlling them like I would have thought. this is probably bc yesterday I had a lot of food in the evening, something I usually never do. I drank a tea that has a laxative effect purposely last night. This is because a few days ago I had that 4000 calorie day and I was getting nervous beceause my body had not eliminated much in 3 days! then, i had some soy and bran for breakfast. Let me tell you, my body was back to itself by 9:30am today! haha
the glycolic peel pretty much just speeds up the rate at which the skin cells at the surface of your face come off. But, you don't actually peel anything. the peel is like a liquid acid that the doctor puts on your face and then you wash it off, like soap. weird, huh?! I did look in the mirror and notice a more consistant look, less blotchy. some people get peels just for cosmetic reasons like wanting to have less redness and things like that.
I had a massive fight when I got home at 10:30pm after rehearsals. I walked into the kitchen to make a light egg dish before wanting to go to bed soon after. My sister was in there, baking a cake. she VERY RARELY does anything like that. rarely meaning 3 times a year! well, when she makes anything, the kitchen looks like a tornado. I had no problem with that, but I did comment saying it was a mess. I continued to prepare what I was making: Washed a tomato, and measured some egg whites and powdered bran. well, my sister started to get on my case becease I moved the tablecloth over a part of the table she needed to clean. the table looked clean; and that's why I moved it! I didn't do anything just to piss her off. Then, my dad hears yelling and tells me that everything was ok till I got home and it was entirely my fault! ha, well, that's not necessary! He wasn't even there in the kitchen to see what went on.
my sister consistently yells/raises her voice to get my attentino or get my to do things. well, when she does that, it makes me want to listen LESS. Now, i'm not sure who's right/wrong. But, I am pissed at my sister and seriously sick of the way she can get my parents to get pissed at me and yell at me. they need to take care of their own business,not mine or business that includes only myself and my sister.
oh, i told my sister to "shut up" a few times. why!? because i wasn't in the mood to hear yelling at 10:30 at night. It's been a long day and night. I heard yelling when I stopped to drop some things off this afternoon. we are a yelling family. that's annoying.
anyway, I ran out of the house after the yelling. and, went to the only place open, a supermarket a few towns over so that I would take a while to get back home. I purchased a few things, came back almost an hour later. didn't talk to anyone.
goodnight all.
Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!
day 43...2250 calories. hmmm, not good!?
I was aiming for 1500, but I had 400 calories worth of chocolate early on in the day. Chocolate has hardly any protein, fiber, or "staying power" and body body acted as if I didn't have any chocolate at all. meaning, I was pretty hungry in the afternoon, as usual. I had a few extra hours after I got home because the dermatologist peel thing didn't take long at all. I thought i'd be seen late and get out late when I took less than a half hour in all there. sadly, i came home and binged a little.
Let me think how many calories I consumed for dinner...1000. lovely. Half, actually 500 calories, was in these crackers that I like. The other half was in two soups, 2 very small apples, and a tomato dipped into balsamic vinegar.
Lately, it seems I really can't balance this eating thing out. My weight was the same as yesterday. I have been drinking a lot of diet sodas still, and I guess they are still hurting rather than helping. I am afraid it may not be best to try to make tomorrow a 1200 calorie day due to my late evening rehearsal. Maybe if I try 1400, which may still be difficult, I'll do better. Hmmm, then I can do 1400 tomorrow and 1500 friday. Friday stinks because a few friends asked me to go with them to happy hour again. that stresses me like you wouldn't believe because I don't drink and I don't like to eat the food because the calories vary so much. I will probably make sure i have a snack before I go and order diet coke.
I am just a diet mess lately.
The glycolic peel is interesting. all that happens is the dermatologist makes sure you skin is washed well and cleaned and then puts a chemical on your skin which sits there for 3 mintues. then, you wash it away and apply moiturizer. then, you can't use acne products for 3 days or so after. that's what the procedure didn't take a long time today! my skin does feel good! They say you should do this procedure several times. Since it doesn't take that long and is not so costly beceause insurance does cover it, I'm gonna try it out for awhile.
goodnight for now.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 3.4 lbs to go!
Of course, this is a dangerous method because if you let yourself get too hungry, you'll be at greater risk of a binge. So if you do try it, be sure to have a small snack if you get really hungry during the day, and fill up on fruit or vegetables at night.
So, how long does it take for you to see the effect of the peel? And do you Have to do it several times for it to be effective?? Did it burn at all?
day 44...1200 calories again.
Today was a good day food-wise. It was a busy day; and that probably helped. I did a good job planning most of my day in advance. I did some walking for a half hour and some weights.
My weight is up another pound, and I feel like all that food I had eaten has not been eliminated from my body since SUNDAY! Not most of it, at least. I know, that's a lot of info! Someone, I think BTC, told me that her weight also is up for the next few days. Hopefully it'll improve tomorrow!
Tomorrow I'm off to the Dermatologist after school. I'm real excited because I've never had a glycolic peel; and, more importantly, I'd like it to eventually work! If not, it was still worth a try, since insurance covers the big majority of it!
A few groups asked if I could play French horn with them in the months of November and December for rehearsals. I know I am busy...I thought about saying no, for quite a few mintues. However, I said yes to them all! I said yes because by playing in a number of things, your lip muscles get stronger and you sound like a better player. Since I haven't been practicing that much on my own, playing in all these different things helps. Also, playing helps with people connections, politics, and teaching jobs. Those are my reasons. I personally couldn't turn anything down. also, after this devastatingly terrible eating I did on Sunday, I feel that busier might be better right now. I had a whole day to myself last Sunday; and I used it terribly.
hmmmm, time is ticking. I thought i'd be in bed at least 20 minutes ago. I was cleaning up and putting my things in order. I hate looking at a mess after awhile.
goodnight all! I hope you all had a good halloween. I did, as a cowgirl. the kids liked it, especially the little candies i gave out after their music lessons!
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 3.4 lbs to go!
Taking on More responsibilities!! I understand your reasoning for it but I worry about you!!! I don't know how you do it!
Speaking of messes, you'd groan if you could see what I'm living amidst! Ugh!
day 45 , 1200 calories!
I appreciate all of your comments, they've helped me get through today!
I haven't had 1200 calories in quite a while, probably around a month ago or more.
my weight was up today, duh! after yesterday, i was surprised it wasn't up more...maybe it will be tomorrow!
I couldn't concentrate yesterday at all on my work and didn't do any of the college work that I wanted to. I didn't even walk on the treadmill. I was super-lazy and 4000 calories of food really made me lazy.
I woke up today and my entire body was sore! especially my arms. I think my whole body was bloated from yesterday. I don't feel like walking on the treadmill, but I really should. It may make me feel better, or perhaps get all that food out of my system faster! just 30 minutes, at a moderate pace. Nothing heavy tonight.
tomorrow's halloween. I'm gonna be a cowgirl. I thought I'd be a nurse and buy scrubs but I opted to just wear what I already own.
should be a good day. I have a rehearsal after school as well.
I can't wait till the dermatologist appointment on wednesday!
goodnight.
Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 2.4 lbs to go!
Your costume sounds cute! I agree with using what you have when you are only going to wear it one time! Have a great time!!
**edit 2** total daily calories today: 4015 calories.
edit: I calculated the average of my daily totals for the last 21 days and found something alarming: 1825 is the average of these past 21 days!!!!
I binged 4 times: 4600 calories, 2600 cal, 1935 calories, and 4015 calories. Those days did so much damage, because all my other 17 days were no more than 1500 calories a day! All that work, for 17 days and nothing to show at all because of such large binges! gosh!
I have 45 days left of this "diet." I need a new mindset. If I lived alone, I think I would do better. All the food I binge on isn't bought by me, it's food I didn't purchase, which is even worse! The people I live with get angry when I eat a lot of their food, and that makes sense! It's not like I really wanted to do it. oh gosh.
so, back to 45 days left. If I do pretty well during those days, the average daily intake will be around 1650 or so. That's much better than 1825 because my exercise habits are never the same and I do not exercise enough everyday to burn the 1825 calories if I want to weigh a little less than I do now.
Day 46... I'm sick to my stomach. I am so full, I feel so sick.
It's 10:30am and I just ate 3,630 calories. What adds up to that: entenman's pumpkin pie (almost half the pie), granola and milk, halloween candy, more chocolate, cookies, chips and dip with tahini, crackers. ugh. definitely not good!
I cannot believe I couldn't keep up this 65 day plan, which I am not quitting... However, 2 out of 19 days so far have positively stunk (if that's a word.) those two days did damage to my other days because the days following were used in order to make up for the two binges I had. Of course thanksgiving will be another day that cannot be used in this plan.
Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 1.4 lbs to go!
YAY on the nice new haircut! I love new hairstyles! Even nicer to have a hairstylist that isn't on their own agenda LOL. Great job on the running and parking further away from the store! Have a great evening and the best to you for the beginning of the week!
But your weight seems to stay so low! One high-cal day and I'm up at least a pound.
Good for you for not giving up. Planning ahead is probably the most important thing for you and being prepared; your schedule is crazy and if you aren't prepared you are bound to grab and eat whatever is handy. Or over eat when you do get the chance to finally eat.
But on the bright side; you're weight seems to stay so low!
day 47, saturday, 1500 calories.
Let me tell you, I almost got off track today! I'm very glad I didn't though! I had a good breakfast, a little big. Then, I had something a little more than I would have wanted to after a morning workout. These added to around 800. then, for a snack, i had a little more than 300 calories which really didn't leave much and I almost threw the towel in. However, I occupied myself after getting my hair cut.
The hair cut: I kept telling the stylist to keep cutting/styling it so it has more and more body! so, she ended up listening to me, obviously! so, at first, I wasn't ready when I saw it all done and didn't expect so much volume! I thought it made me look 20 years older, which is not necessary! haha. But, then the hair sank back down as I went outside into the wind and I do like my haircut very much. I hope the stylist thinks she did a good job too. She is extremely nice and really tries to work with you - never making you leave until you are happy!
I went to the park and ran a couple miles in the wind. I am glad I was able to be active after 3 days not. My body feels all "mushy" to me. lol, i know 3 days is not the end of the world. then, i parked far from the store and got a little more walking in. Today was a "me" day for most of it. it felt awesome.
I still have yet to try the bean and egg combo, workingit.
goodnight all :)
Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 1.4 lbs to go!
Edit: no exercise on wed or thurs. Friday: a lousy 13 minutes or so on the treadmill! how much does that stink!? I would have done more but i went to happy hour after work and then had about an hour and a half until I had to be at rehearsal tonight. I had something to eat and relaxed. I could have stayed on the treadmill a couple minutes longer, but didn't want to risk being late for rehearsal, and I would have been. I want to exerise tomorrow. Maybe yoga tomorrow. It's gonna be a rainy day. I will definitely to yoga either sat or sunday. I'm looking foward to these next two days. I'll be getting a haircut tomorrow as well! yay!
Day 48...1500 by the end of the day.
Today was quite busy! Work in the morning, a meeting in the afternoon, and went out for happy hour with two of my friends who work in the district, but not my actual school. It was fun meeting up with one good friend of many years and another new friend. Eating was borderline...I almost messed today up with a little larger breakfast. the day is not done, as I have a rehearsal tonight and then we're going out after that.
Foods that I like and are low cal: fat free cream cheese, rice cakes, plain yogurt, especially greek yogurts, veggie burgers, especially morningstar! tomatoes! apples, microwaved asparagus with garlic powder, pepper, and salt
one more update later tonight!
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 1.8 lbs to go!
Oh and adding the beans to the egg whites..hmmm, interesting concept..let me know how you liked it!
day 49...1500 calories
I got through the day successfully, meeting and rehearsal. the meeting after school actually ended about 15 minutes early so I drove straight towards the location of the rehearsal and was even able to have a satisfying dinner of a subway wrap and chips before it. that really helped me get through the rehearsal, along with two really cool fiber filled 100 calorie granola bars I found in the university cafeteria.
Tomorrow I teach in the morning and have a meeting in the afternoon. Then, I am going to some kind of staff gathering during happy hour. I'm not a drinker, but i'm going to be social with the staff.....although I'm not even staying past December 23rd! That's what I get since its only a leave position.
Tomorrow should be interesting though...
oh, and a rehearsal tomorrow night, 8-10pm. That's why i don't want to go to this happy hour thing! I haven't exercised wed or thursday and I just want to do stuff for me!!!! I'm sorry, but that's how I feel! In a way, if I am unable to get a full-time leave position/job during the sping semester i will be okay with that. I am way to busy now with college classes, district teacher courses, rehearsals, and teaching. I wouldn't mind concentrating on myself for a few months until summer and then finshing grad school by the end of july and then settling down!
goodnight!
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 1.8 lbs to go!
Update: no exercise today, not enough time without staying up too late. sadly, no exercise tomorrow either! :( Friday I will, for awhile!!!!
Day big 50!...1490 calories.
I haven't been sleeping for as many hours as I should be and today I came home after stopping at Subway and getting a wrap and chips in addition to a diet orange drink and a whole bottle of water and fell asleep for about an hour! I woke up to my sister speaking rather loudly, as normal. It was good that I got up though! I just ate dinner and its around 7pm. Perfect for getting my work done!
If I finish what I need to, I'll go for a SHORT walk. As long as I move my body, even for 20 minutes, it is something. Maybe i'll try for half an hour, since I just realized that tomorrow I have a meeting after school and then I go right to rehearsal! I'll be home after 10pm, and by then it is bedtime!
Today I did spend more time getting ready in the morning, like I said I would. However, my sister commented saying she couldn't believe what i was wearing as i was about to step out the door! She said my shirt and cardigan were the color of "doodie." hmmm. not good. However, I took that comment with a grain of salt! She is a fashion/business major in college and is always making remarks on what we wear. I figured my outfit couldn't be that bad! haha. As for my face, it isn't getting better. I hope that my appointment for that peel, now on Wednesday next week, does something! Yeah, I'm concerned somewhat about my appearance!
Friday I was gonna work out right after school. But, now I'll be stopping by the bar...I DON'T DRINK... just because that is what the teacher's union does once a month and as a new teacher, i should go. However, I have not spoken to anyone who is going! plus, i have a rehearsal...for two hours...fri night as well! I want to be able to move around fri afternoon! gosh, can't i ever do what i want!? i asked one younger teacher to go, and she said she can't!
today the eating was quite good! good foods: apple, fat free cream cheese, rice cakes, peanut butter, yogurts, veggie burgers, tomatoes, celery, asparagus, wrap from subway and chips, and even one pepperidge farm large chocolate pecan cookie! Somehow, all of that, equals only 1430 cal! Not bad!
goodnight all, and thanks for all of the wonderful comments!
Progress as of today: 0.8 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Keep up the good work!
day 51, 1470 calories.
Today I feel much more accomplished than yesterday, when I didn't work out at all and still got to bed rather late! Everything went well at the elementary school and the jazz band kids are really trying hard! I'm VERY impressed with the sounds 5th graders can make on their instruments when they apply themselves.
I went to school with my hair a bit messy today. I didn't straighten/blow dry like I normally do because of lack of planning in the morning. So, I plan to really make my appearance more teacher-like tomorrow. I will look nice; and I have extra time because it is not a band early morning day, which are monday, tuesday, and thursdays.
thanks for all your comments. haha, I love all the cottage cheese responses. They all sound great, evening the ketchup/cheese combo! I'm not sure if I personally would like the dressing one. hmmmm...but thank you!
Have a good evening!
Progress as of today: 1.2 lbs lost so far, only 1.6 lbs to go!
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Scruff was here :)
borntocry on 11/03/2006:
Oh, poor girl! I feel for you. I come from a yelling family too, and it was my brother who was always getting me in trouble. He is two years younger than me and when we were little my parents were always yelling at me and blaming me for everything because I was older and ought to know better, set him a good example, etc. And then when we were teenagers he would deliberately try to get me in trouble by ratting to my parents about what my friends and I were up to.
Sounds like you are also not your parents' favourite. But if it's any consolation to you, my brother eventually saw the error of his ways. Now he regrets his excessive closeness to our parents as they are constantly trying to interfere in his life and give him advice about his girlfriend, job, etc. But it's too late, he confided in them too much and now he can't get rid of them! So there is a lot of friction between them and as a result, I have now taken his place as the favoured child! My parents can't get enough of me. My, how the tables have turned!
So don't fret, you won't have your family on your case forever. They'll learn to appreciate you more in time!
greengirl on 11/03/2006:
Ah the joys of family life!!!! I am the youngest of five siblings and in my vast experience of yelling sisters , the one who is really to blame rarely actually gets the blame. You probably did the right thing by getting away from it!!!
mattscat3295 on 11/03/2006:
I must admit we are a yelling family and just reading what you wrote makes me want to sit down and shut my mouth. I am so sorry for your bad evening. I hope today is better. I have to admit sometimes my girls fight so bad and want me to take sides that it alone makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs and sometimes I do but I honestly I try to not take sides. I understand how hard it is to not be the favorite child, I am not a favorite unless my sister doesn't talk to my mother. It is really frustrating to know that everything in the world is your fault just because of who you are. I hope you have a better day today. Take care****HUGS****
WorkingIt on 11/03/2006:
Great job on keeping your calories in check! Glad your body is back to normal lol. That is a very uncomfortable feeling! Your sister sounds like mine, I'd have yelled at her too LOL Have a better day today! **HUGS**
Moody on 11/03/2006:
I know exactly what you mean by when someone yells at you it makes you want to listen less. I completely tune them out when someone yells at me; I simply won't take it. I'm glad that you got out for awhile and let things calm down.
Great job on keeping your calories where you wanted them to be!!
hollybelle on 11/03/2006:
My family yelled alot, too. Especially the women. I would just retreat into my room. I'm 52 years old now and sometimes I find that I yell even though I hate that. I try to keep it at a minimum. My parents don't yell at me anymore (ha-ha) but they bicker between themselves and tht STILL makes me uncomfortable. Good work on getting out of the house. Some day you will have peace and quiet and can live with people who get along (if you are lucky and work at it, too). Good job on your healthy eating.
gte374f on 11/03/2006:
I remember all too well the friction between my family. Even when my sister and I get together now for more then 5 days, we get into at least one argument..and we come from a yelling family too. Hang in there. Get job at getting out of the situation..sometimes it is better to just walk away..Good jobn on keeping the calories in check. what was the name of the tea?