overall good day:
i exercised a ton! yay. 1.5 hours walking.
total sept. exercise: 17 hrs, 50 min
well...it's a monday. and that usually means better eating.
breakfast: peanut butter on a hamburger roll. this was good for blood sugar levels and was an enjoyable breakfast. i also had a bit of melon.
lunch: melon
snack: some red pepper and then i drove to get a starbucks pumpkin latte - perfect before i exercised.
dinner: salad, wrap made out of tapioca wrap (its like what they use for making the cold summer rolls) with chicken inside and a few veggies.
calories were not measured for anything. i did finish almost everything. breakfast i finished, lunch i finished, starbucks i finished.
dinner - i left over a bit of salad and a bit of the wrap.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
Monday morning edit:
breakfast = nice amount of pb on a hamburger roll. not much fiber in the roll. I can say that i'm satisfied (then again, my stomach is still full from yesterday). just drinking tea...I don't want to reach for a yogurt now. i didn't go food shopping yesterday - so it would be my mom's yogurts and they are higher in calories. lol. am i counting again? i didn't measure the pb. i guess i'll have a lunch of tofu on salad, since i have it in the house. snack?? red pepper slices and fruit? sounds good...
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sunday:
sept exercise: 16 hrs, 20 min. i did more exercise in the evening.
my dad is upset because i didn't finish the hamburger for dinner. it's ok that my sister didn't eat a lot. but, all because I didn't eat all of the hamburger he was pissed as could be. he said he knows how i can eat a ton of food at a time and that i must have had food beforehand in order to not have an appetite to eat. well, i did eat a lot, at 1pm. but, he was persisting that if i didn't eat it all, that's not normal because i always eat a lot. that made me a little angry. its ok with them if my sister its little food bc she never has a big appetite. but, why should i have to finish all my food just because i'm a "big eater?"
should i have just finished it? my stomach is messed up from before. i know i shouldn't have binged today. if i didn't binge, i would have probably had a bigger appetite...lol, or a stomach that wasn't already congested with tons of bulk of food from before.
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thursday = 7900, fri =5500 , saturday =4800 ,sunday =5000 .
overall excess calories for the past 4 days(i subtracted 2,000 from each day) = 15,200. this equals 4.4 pounds!!! supposedly, over the past 4 days, I have gained 4.4 pounds. that's a lot.
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today's total calories - about 5000
6pm edit:
park: 4 miles 1 hr, 20 min.
total calories before dinner: 4700
2600 before the park. i'm back from the park...and eating didn't get better. I left my house and immediately went to get a personal pan pizza from pizza hut (620 cal). after that, i stopped by dunkin donuts for a jelly donut (300)and some cookies and cream ice cream (600). then, i finally finished with two mcdonalds apple pies (550)...i was supposed to have one, but they give me two. !?
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
I can see where your dad is coming from. BTDT. You eat so much when you binge, but then you won't finish food (i.e. you waste food) at the proper meal time. As a parent who pays for groceries, I can see why that would piss him off.
The issue isn't whether you should have finished the hamburger or not. The ISSUE is that you shouldn't be bingeing like this. This is just crazy, Horn. It is not a good thing.
alright, i'm done with this bad eating spurt. tomorrow's a good day. 3 days is long enough. I'm better than that! I am I am I am. I just finished a book I was reading, that occupies my time pretty well. I find it terribly difficult to occupy myself and NOT turn to food for comfort. That's been my issue lately...especially with time off from work because of the holiday.
total cals: around 4800
ok...and now i can add rice pudding.
added a yogurt and slice of marble cake to todays 4,000 calories for a total of 4500. nuttyness.
plan for tomorrow's exercise:
breakfast, bike to get newspapers
snack, read, walk
lunch, read or some other activity. walk
snack, read, walk
dinner, reading/cleaning/whatever else
ummm, tomorrow sounds a little boring. this proves i need a life...not that i don't like boring...but i've been very reclusive lately...hanging out with myself...that's what has enabled my binging. nowhere to be. driving around eating. i like the time. finally i have time, but i also finally have time for a relationship. but, i don't have a good job or any extra cash.
i want to eat healthier...i know later in this entry i mention eating everything, but honestly, i like how healthy food makes me feel. otherwise, i get really bad sugar crashes. arg. do i even know what i want? no psycholgist can help me. honestly, i'm going to have to figure it out. too bad if i go into this new field i'm going to be without money for two more years after this. not good.
I'm gonna try somewhat planning tomorrow's menu:
B = oatmeal w. yogurt
s = pear + yogurt
L = bread and tofu (need to use it up) and red pepper slices
s = red pepper slices, pear (lots of pears are in my house right now.)
D = salad, grilled veggies and something lean from the supermarket or something like that.
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today's calories = 4000
september exercise = 14 hrs, 15 min.
I think i want to buy roller blades...but that's probably a waste of money since i don't have extra cash!!!!!! I walked at the park; and then went to another park where I visited this olympic size pool and saw some divers and people scoring their dives. I want to learn how to swim better. Maybe i'll splurge and do that. Then again, i really don't have money to splurge. so, maybe if i get a part time job, i'll use that money for swimming. that's fair i think.
today was kinda similiar to the past two days. It started out well, with a protein shake...but definitely drifted QUICKLY in the wrong direction.
I had a huge peanut butter cookie after. A smoothie made with banana, blueberry, soymilk, and protein powder. Then, a taco bell chicken quesadilla...followed by a piece of zita with rigatoni alla voda sauce on a piece of pizza! holy...it's amazing i finished it...because twice i went to throw it in the bag...but, of course, leave it to me because i MUST finish things. well, oh well. basically, i've proven to myself that like to eat all types of foods...good and bad. and hopefully, with lots of exercise, ALL foods can be part of my diet. that's all.
after exercising, i had some kind of summer roll made with tapioca paper with avacado, veggies, shrimp, and imitation crab meat inside. It was pretty good. pretty healthy. then, i considered getting ice cream. hehe. I didn't. Maybe once i start giving myself treats, i'll start NOT craving them like crazy. Can that be? maybe. If I always know that nothings off limits, i can have what i want; and also eat healthy when i want. I'm gonna give it a go. A little scary though because I know that in order to look lean you have to eat right. If i have taco bell and mcdonalds all the time, I'm going to look like it. That's why I'm not sure what direction I want to go in right now!
calories for today are 4000.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
Isn't it Geneen (whatever) Roth who advocates allowing yourself to have as much of whatever you want until it doesn't become a craving any more as a way to "cure" bingeing? Maybe that would work with you.
I don't know how you can stand going out to fast food though. Paying good money for binge food. That's like going out to a drug house to get a fix, to me. (You have to understand, I'm a cheapsake, so that's kind of where I'm coming from.)
Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you!
12 hrs and 15 min = total sept. exercise.
total cal: 5500?....i knew i forgot to add in the chinese...that i had after the donuts combination....so 5500!!!!!!!!!! the chinese was all fried! ha, i never get chinese...let alone fried chinese! some was not even tasty.
total exercise was better than i thought i would do! 2 hours.
4.5 miles walking 1 hr, 20 min. and 40 min on bike.
hahahaha!!!!!
today was surprisingly less calories...NOT much less...and better tasting food. kind of.
breakfast: too much challah bread with some peanut butter...and marble cake (huge slices). I like trying to get specific in listing the foods with you. 2000 cal.
snack: good = pear. 90 cal.
lunch: taco bell (and i was full not even by eating half...determined of course to finish it. the last bite wasn't even good.) 650 cal.
snack 3 hours later: one whole dunkin donuts blueberry muffin...AND a jelly donut! ha. what was i thinking! 800 cal.
then, half hour later, some java and oreo ice cream from baskin robbins. 450
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
Sounds like you've pretty much thrown all restraint into the wind and you're enjoying foods that were otherwise forbidden. What a way to kick off the New Year.
Friday morning edit: I had a satisfying, a little too filling breakfast. I had one third of the whole challah bread with peanut butter on it. I also had a very big slice of marble bread (really like a dense cake). Tasted great. I just can't deny myself of anything right now. I also can't eat everything all at once, like i did yesterday. haha. For lunch, I'm going to get fast food; and not a salad. Probably taco bell. For snacks, i'm not sure... Dinner...not sure. I might pick up something from the health food store. I need to work on portions and stopping when satisfied. I guess you can't be perfect all the time!
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my stomach hurts so bad i want to go to the hospital...arg!
i can hardly drink water because my stomach is so full.
total calories for today: 7900!!! crazyyyyyyyy. and i will not starve or fast tomorrow.
edit: after eating everything in my house, i bought a large fries and chicken nuggets from mcdonalds and then stopped at taco bell for a fried apple empanada...something like an uncrustable but with pie crust fried and sugary appleness/caramel inside. My stomach is entirely protruded. my sugar levels must be going crazy inside my body!
I was SUPPOSED to have dinner with family...but i can't stomach that too! It's not possible...it'd be sickening. so, i will tell them i have a major stomachache. which is true.
i exercised only 20 minutes today. tomorrow's a brand new day...and this year i plan on have MANY more good days than bad!! many!
I'm going to attempt to add up all calories for today:
woke up and had concord grapes, then same whole wheat crackers. them, i went to the gym...and had a light yogurt and whole grain powerbar before going to temple for services (Jewish New Year). all of that = 630 cal.
Then, after temple, I was too hungry and binged on lunch...should of just had bagels with lox and cream cheese with the family...and not made my own stuff...because i had both and then more! haha.
salad with light dressing...good.
egg whites mixed with oatmeal...i put it in the same bowl and microwave...it turns into a muffin/soufflee. i put no sugar maple syrup on it.
then, i had these seasoned microwave veggies...which weren't very good...so i just ate the potatoes out of it.
then, i had 3 slices of bread...300 calories.
then a large everything bagel...330 cal?
then I had a very large piece of raisin challah bread...600?
milano cookies: 14 total= 980
dried fruit + nuts = about 3 cups = 2100
3 servings chips = 420
...that's all in one sitting...i want to go out and get pizza now. ahh. i'm going to.I never got the pizza...ha. instead i got a large fries, chicken nuggets, and an apple empanada which is a really, really, really good dessert from Taco Bell. I never had one till today and i was warm and delicious! mcdonalds and taco bell = 1300 calories.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
I was looking at a very small bag of mexican trail mix yesterday and was almost tempted til I read the total cals for the little bag. Those nuts and thingys really add up! I resisted the fast food places yesterday that I passed by coming back home.
I think most of eat like you did today from time to time...I think it does our bodies GOOD!!! Big Smile to you!
Wallyball is a form of volleyball played in a raquetball court where the ball can be hit off the walls! Lots of fun and is a great social sport!
Dinner: apple slice, salad, brisket/pot roast awesome!!, maple/sugar/butter lightly grazed carrots, broccoli, dessert pudding cake that was great, some fruit!! Good Dinner!
today's exercise: 1 hr, 10 min!
Total sept. exercise: 9 hrs, 55 min
(sandra...no way did i exercise yesterday for 8 hours...haha, not yet anyway! that's my total for September! haha!)
Foods: peanut butter sandwich, yogurt, bok choy, salad, egg whites, package of peanut m&ms, yogurt...and dinner with family...we shall see! You know, i'm looking foward to having a nice dessert and meal! :)
today was a good day. I've been spending more and more time with the kiddies at school. Let me tell you, these are the GOOD kids. I'm sooo lucky to work in an elementary school in such a wonderful town. It's the best I've seen yet. The kids are the sweetest things!
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
You know I passed the peanut butter in the grocery store today...haven't had a good peanut but sandwich in a LONG time! I love peanut mandm's, too!
So glad you are happy in your work at the school. That is wonderful! Big Smile to you!
exercise: 35 good minutes.
total exercise: 8 hrs, 45 min.
5:45 edit:
exercise...if i have the energy later. I made dinner early: 5:30pm. 3 cups microwaved veggies, fried tofu, whole wheat crackers, piece of italian bread. not gonna count the overall calories for today!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HI HI!
I'm off to the gym now...it's about 5pm. I just finished preparing some work for tomorrow! Thankfully I'm done!
I was on my feet a good portion of today...i think i'll need to invest in a couple pairs of really supportive shoes. even though i'm 25, i'll probably buy easy spirit or another brand of shoe made especially for protection and support. My feet are VERY important to me! :)
after the gym i'm buying chinese takeout...hopefully this time i can get it steamed...and not steamed with oil! haha. that's what happened yesterday. i'll take the rest to lunch tomorrow at school.
today's foods so far:
pb on 2 slices bread, yogurt, grapes, salad, eggplant + chicken sauteed with a little oil from leftovers last night, peanut butter crackers from vending machine (i plan on probably getting something every day! haha), yogurt, kombucha drink. I didn't have dinner yet.
not counting calories.
Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
today's foods: trying to not count calories:
peanut butter (not measured out) on two pieces bread, yogurt, lots of grapes, salad with seared rare tuna (leftover from last night), package of cheese-its, slim fast drink as a snack, lightly sauteed eggplant and chicken chinese food.
exercise: 3.5 miles, 70 min
total exercise: 8 hrs, 10 min.
Congratulations on the 3.5 miles...WOW!!! That is a lot!
Have a happy, blessed day!
So, i went out to dinner with my parents. Today, I stuck to my own food and didn't splurge on the dinner. I did splurge at breakfast, though.
breakfast = 3330 calories. But, this is the end of that stupidity! LOL...I am 25 now! I think this morning was the last straw.
dinner - healthy salad with seared rare tuna...great! healthy!
exercise = 6 miles, 2 hours! yay
total sept exercise = 9 hours
ohhh, thanks to everyone for comments and continued support. I know i can sound like a broken record at times because I am constantly fighting the same battles. but, i really do think i can overcome my battles.
i am happy to report exercise is easier to fit in this school year...especially without any classes...except for a few mandatory district things. However, i might get a part time job. My mom is pissed I'm thinking of working at Starbucks because if you work 20 hours, i think, you get health benifits! yup! and i pay 235 a month just for them! That would save me a pretty penny! It would save me about 2800 a year, if i work that long. I might keep the job throughout going to radiography school. i guess i'm a little old compared to many starbucks employees.
the result of 5 days of binging is a 4.5 pound gain...and i'm not talking about bloating.
Edit Sunday breakfast calories: 3330! to all of you that think i'm kidding, i'm not. i counted.chips, pb, ice cream, sesame crackers...and more...
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Saturday evening:
Edit: i have to tell you, my female friends (there were 3 of them last night) motivated me when i saw how great they all looked (we don't see each other all the time because we're college friends). One of them, I seriously didn't recognize her because she's changed sooo drastically. They make me want to look good too! :) and i can. :O. I haven't lost focus. Not one bit. Not even after this crazy week! :) Exercise is the new name of my game! :) And, I've been doing it well already.
If i can just learn how to swim. I can swim, but I'm not good at the most important and benificial stroke: freestyle/crawl. That's the one you use for swimming laps. I have free access to a pool but unless i know how to do that stroke properly i'll have to hold off swimming. I don't even care how i look in a bathing suit haha. I wish someone at the college gym could help me. You know, i think i'm going to dish out some money for swimming lessons...starting next week. It's worth my money!
Do I need a one piece bathing suit? or can i wear a bikini for swimming laps? What i meant is, will anything happen while swimming if i wear a bikini?
total cal: ha. 6800 (6,000 at the cheesecake factory.)i had my full meal plus my own cheesecake and halves of other people's.) i don't regret tonight, actually, at all!
Today has been good. so far, 800 calories...and now i'm going to the Cheesecake Factory again for dinner with other people tonight. I think I may just get a salad so i can eat as much as I want to. I exercised and felt soooo good today from it.
exercise today: 2 hrs. I even went biking at a park along an expressway that I've never been to (but whenever I drive by i yearn to go!) and it was wonderful...i'll go back tomorrow to check out the rest of it! Then, i went walking in a park with more shade closer to home!
total Sept. exercise: 7 hours
I enjoy feeling good about myself...who doesn't!? so, we'll see what i choose to eat. I may just have a sandwhich afterall...and ask for broccoli substituted for fries...or, maybe what GG does...and get pasta (but substitute the pasta for broccoli or something...haha we'll see...)
For your bathing suit question, I personally have always preferred a one piece when swimming laps, etc. as you are less likely to lose things. but they have come a long way with bathing suits and they do make two piece suits that I'm sure stay secure - like lifeguards wear.
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Sounds like you had a good day! Good for you! My sister loves the pumpkin latte too but I don't drink coffee. I know, weird. Just never got the taste for it. Keep up the good work!
geevee on 09/17/2007:
I had pnb on the brain this week and had it 2 or 3 times on a toasted whole wheat mini-square bagel. SO good!
Everything you ate sounds good except that white hamburger roll. I've gotten to the point where I simply can't eat white bread of any kind. That's why I like Subway where you have a choice of several different whole grain rolls. Not that I go there regularly, but at least I know it's there.
greengirl on 09/18/2007:
Sounds like a good day for you HoP, especially all the exercise. Well done, and lets hope you have many more days like this :o)
Donkey on 09/18/2007:
Yay, a great day! And I mean that -- this was a really good day!!