ok, i went to yoga. saw a fellow music teacher..she was awfully nice and encouraging, saying she would let me know if any openings...
total July exercise: 16 hrs, 55 min
total exercise today: 1hr, 25 min (60 yoga, 10 bike, 15 walk)
total calories: 1810. eh, fine.
calories today: there was a binge in the afternoon on just two things: potato chips (3 servings equalling 460 total) and pretzels, 120 calories. however, if i watch my portions, the day will not be ruined in the end! it will be more than 1500, but not more than 2000.
i am so on and off with music. sometimes i feel that i could do it, sometimes i say "I'll never be able to rise to the level i want to be at, so why continue." it's so hard to decide what i want. in life and in general.
biscotti, i don't know if i would want to teach yoga. i enjoy doing it, but i don't think teaching it is for me. it would save some money....but to be certified you have to take a SIX WEEK course in california...but they may have moved it to Hawaii. I definitely can't afford being away from home right now for that long....however, if it don't have a job...lol, it could be worth it since i will have no other obligations. eh, teaching yoga is not for me...at least not right now.
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
hello!
much better day today. it seems that when i have a least some kind of schedule, things go better. when i have a totally open day...but things on my mind and work to do (but no other planned activities) a binge is more likely to occur. i'm working on that!
exercise today: 145 minutes (60 yoga, 10 bike, 30 weights, 45 cardio)
total calories: 1520.
total exercise in July: 15 hrs, 25 min.
i had a concert tonight...since it was raining it was inside in an elementary school gym! haha! usually we play in parks in the evenings!
i performed "ok." sometimes, i think if i should GO BACK to school for something else. I'm still young, so it's feasable. I don't know. My dad supports me if i do make that decision. my mom probably wouldn't...but she'd have to if he does. I'd have to work though school if i go back, obviously. i'm seriously thinking about it. I'd go back to work in a health field...maybe a nurse practicioner (kinda like a doctor.) but, it may be too much schooling...and i do need to make a decent living soon! I can't just live on nothing and go to school forever.
so, i'm really trying to think what's best for me...and what i can handle financially. it's good i still live at home...even though i'd prefer it some other way.
basically, employment and if it happens will play a major role in my decision. my parents say that if i had a job right now, i wouldn't thinking about a career change. I say that i like music, i don't love it. if i had to stop playing horn tomorrow, i would. i would always enjoy going to concerts and hearing/seeing performances.
Basically, i want to be happy for the rest of my life....and not dissatisfied with myself or my choices. as i get older, i will have less of a chance to make changes and decisions in what i do. especially my occupation.
i'm a decent musician. i must practice A LOT in order to be that way. like most musicians...but some things don't come as naturally as others.
i frequently feel that i have been unable to take part in things i enjoy because of my involvement in community performance groups and whatnot. meaning, sometimes my exercise routine gets hampered...like during the year...not now, of course.
i don't want to make a wrong decision. to tell you the truth, i have a hard time making decisions and i've been completely indecisive since, well, forever! so, maybe it's a good thing for me to change careers now. meaning, partly why i went into it is because i was just following a path that was already decided by those around me...my mom certainly influenced my decision to go the music education route. it's a good route...but maybe not the route for me. basically, my decision will be made based on how getting a job progresses in the next couple months. in many ways, i would rather just switch career choices now. but of course, money plays a role in all of this...getting a whole different degree is not exactly cheap.
what do you think?
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
total cal: 2140
exercise: 30 min cardio
total July: 13 hrs exercise
5:30pm: 1 pepper, 3 plum tomatoes: 1920 calories.
afternoon edit: 2 green peppers. current total: 1830.
------------------------------------------------------------
ahhh: BINGE for breakfast.
breakfast = 1770 calories!
what i need to do is to keep reminding myself that my body is like a temple...not a trash yard. whenever i'm thinking down, i'll indulge, because i already think i'm garbage...but it's only making it worse. I had decided last night that i wouldn't go to yoga today...because i need to do much more work...and this is what happens!
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
Total JULY minutes: 12 hrs, 30 min!
Today is turning into a 100% better day than yesterday. Even saying this helps!
exercise was great: 150 minutes (60 yoga, 10 bike, 30 weights, 50 elliptical) :) yay.
calories: to be updated.
I definitely have a lot of work to do before the night is done...so i'm off to comment and do some work!
Yoga was great...although my body was starting to be ultra sensitive and i was thinking it was because of "TOM" as lately I have been feeling this way. Probably a little under a week. My TOM is slightly irregular but getting better. so, anyway, i bike home...and when i enter the door practically, TOM finally arrives.
sorry if that was all too much info, but i was very happy about how that worked out....otherwise i might have been VERY embarrassed in yoga - i was wearing loose shorts! I'm glad nothing happened! LOL
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
total july exercise: 10 hrs.
total cal: 1540
total exercise: bike ride, 45. pathetic, to say the least. not even an ounce of walking. no yoga.
i've been overeating lately, even though i am staying at 1500 per day. 800/900 calorie lunches. Today, i had 140 cal for breakfast, a snack of 360, snack of 10 cal, snack 140,lunch 585, snack 60, . This only leaves me 215 for dinner. arg.
i tried on clothes today...it seems that i've gone up "1/2" a size. I'm now inbetween sizes, nothing looked that good...I'm going to have to deal with it. i have class in a week. its my goal to try to keep up with the exercise...move around always, quit acting so lazy at home.
i know i'm focussing a lot on phyiscal fitness...i'm obsessing thinking about it because i'm nervous about my class....alright...back to work...
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
evening edit:
No cardio today. :( I wasted some time in the afternoon and now i'm just doing my work tonight! Next summer....no classes...haha, unless i choose to take something on my own....but it'll be less stress no matter what! Nothing compares to the class i'm taking now! Once its done and my term paper for another class is done...it's on to a better committment to exercise!!! :)
Exercise today: 70 min (10 bike, 60 yoga)
calories:
Total July exercise: 9 hrs, 25 min
------------------
Good afternoon!
I went to yoga this morning and did really well! Because the weather was nice, I biked there since it's pretty close.
I had a good breakfast and had a small coconut drink during practice. When i came home, I had a large lunch, 820 calories. I didn't think i was going to eat that much...and, once again, it was a "controlled binge." I stopped so that I had at least 300 calories to spare for the rest of the day (dinner). I ate lunch around 12:30. so, my calories are now 1160. This leaves me about 340 till the end of the evening so that the grand total is 1500.
more updating to come.
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
Saturday Morning Edit:
I will have a GOOD DAY today :)
_________________________________________________
total July exercise: 8hrs 15min
total exercise today 90 (30 weights, 30 treadmill, 15 bike, 15 elliptical)
total calories: 1500. :)
EDIT 3: I PROBABLY SHOULD NOT BE WASTING MY TIME HERE...ANOTHER WHATEVER. SADLY, I TOLD MY MOM ABOUT THE INTERVIEW. SO, SHE'LL KILL ME IF I SAY I DIDN'T GO. I'LL PROBABLY END UP TELLING HER I DID. :( I JUST CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE PRESSURE. :( OTHERWISE, I'LL HAVE TO INVEST IN THE STRONGEST PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( I DON'T TAKE MEDS...BUT I'M SURE GONNA NEED THEM SOON!)
EDIT 2: WHATEVER. IT'S DONE. I FREAKING CANCELLED THE INTERVIEW! :( LIFE SERIOUSLY SUCKS.
edit: should i just cancel my interview???? then, i'd be wrecking my chances. supposedly the job doesn't call for much piano playing. but, i really don't want any more stress right now. i'm probably being LAZY...but, honestly, i can't handle anything else. maybe other people can, but i CAN'T. I'm cancelling the interview.
I AM SOOOO ANGRY!
Remember how i said I wouldn't take any job interviews until the class is over!? Well, I did! and I need to practice piano for it! I haven't played piano in SOOOOOOO long. If i cannot get good enough by Monday, when the interview is, I will not go...I'll simply call in the morning to cancel. This really SUX, to put it lightly. I cannot have all these distractions....and I'm not going to be successful with anything if i keep having to do interviews and stuff. I'm so angry.
I binged after breakfast...one of those slower, more controlled, like "why am i doing this?" binges. Breakfast was good, bran, yogurt, and sugar free jelly. then, i had the new ice cream single servings...but actually two servings per container, ice cream put out by blue bunny. I SHOULDN'T HAVE bought them. i thought i'd be able to control having only one at a time...and i thought that they at first only have one serving because that's what they're called so for the first time in a long time i didn't read the nutritional info as carefully...and then i realized at home that they were double servings. so, after breakfast, i had 700 more calories, because i had two cantainers of ice cream at two servings in each one. (4 servings ice cream.)
breakfast calories: 920 Lunch/Snack: 240
total so far: 1160
today may or may not be a 1500 day.
i am really getting angry, upset, and sick of life at the moment! who wouldn't!?
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
thanks to those who left me positive, assuring comments.
Calories: 1500 :)
exercise: 120 min (60 yoga, 50 elliptical, 10 bike)
goodnight all.
I will comment on diaries tomorrow/Friday.
total minutes for July: 6 hrs, 45 min.
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
yesterday was a TERRIBLE binge.
today was a 990 binge on breakfast.
doing work. i know its the 4th of July. NO plans. DO NOT want plans...too much work to do. even if i do chill here in between doing work, that's fine. i just cannot be out, when i have work on my mind.
exercise is none so far, i'll update that tomorrow if i do. i decided not to go to yoga, because i didn't want to be a in VERY crowded room. I know how people get and many classes were cancelled due to the holiday! so, i wasn't going to go, after binging last night, looking and feeling crappy with many extra people around.
calories are 1530. pretty amazing. if i don't stay somewhat low the rest of these next couple weeks, i'll regret it standing in front of everyone conducting them. i didn't really loose any weight like i wanted to. stress got to me. i let it...even though it didn't have to be this way at all.
when this class is over, i'll have a term paper to write for another class. if i have any interviews in the next two weeks, i'm not taking them. i have work for this class to do...and i seriously cannot have ANY other distractions besides the yoga...which keeps me sane, as well as any other working out, practicing horn, and performing/rehearsing i do. enough is enough.
anyway, what i meant to say in the last paragraph, is that when this class is over, i am making and keeping a committment with myself. This commitment is about fitness. I am sick of being a flabby, out of shape woman, who is only going to be 25. This is seriously PATHETIC. I don't want to live this way the rest of my life. I want to be "LEAN and MEAN." Just kidding, but i do want to be strong. I'm not just saying this cause i'm stressed. I really mean it. I MUST step it up a notch, and when the times comes, I WILL!
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
Wednesday morning edit:
edit: I'm FREAKING out about this class i'm studying for. so, in an attempt to procrastinate, i decided to have a snack yesterday...and, instead, ate over 2,000 calories in the early afternoon.
today: I thought i would "restrict" calories a lot, but instead found myself eating 990 calories for breakfast. at least i'm full now!.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
:(
Binge. 3150 calories today. I just cannot learn!
exercise: 70 (yoga 60, bike 10) no other cardio.
Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!
[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 Next Page ]
total calories are what count ..everything in moderation. as for the music ... pratice pratice pratice ... everything get better with pratice.. i have faith in you
mcwoo40 on 07/13/2007:
Hi,just passing through ready to have another go at this healthy eating lark!!Just wanted to say you are doing brill with your exercise,I wish i had your motivation,I suppose that will come as and when i get back into it,catch up again,Julie
gerri on 07/13/2007:
now all i have to do is learn to spell... practice .. see i knew i could do it ...LOL