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Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jun 16, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.0

edit: exercise: nothing. i didn't use my time wisely. i think i've learned a lesson! maybe i'll make a better choice next time.

total calories have met my goal and are better than expected: 1730. yay.


hi... instead of pigging out this morning/afternoon...i should have just went to the park for a walk. i'm not exercising today. i already wasted too much time. so far, today was a little rocky in terms of controlling food choices.

breakfast was pretty good, a little larger than necessary. Then, i had a snack of some tofu and tomato/peppers.

i had a bit more than i should have for lunch. lunch was 1000 calories: 3 veggie burgers, 3 rolls, cup of cottage cheese, salad, goldfish crackers, some kelp noodles. but, it was good.

still no exercise...now its really time to do some work... total calories so far: 1560. its noon right now!

i plan to have under 2000 calories today. that is my main and only calorie goal today.

Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/16/2007:
Your calorie goal sounds good to me. I hope you are able to make it. 3 veggie burgers??? You must have been really hungry! Very healthy for you though. Love 'em myself.

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Jun 15, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.0

so, i did some reading on Alli, the new over-the-counter weight loss pill. I was almost going to get it. but, it really doesn't make sense for me too. i'm obvisouly not overweight. then, it spoke of portion control...well, i like large portions (especially of things like vegetables..) so, well see. oh, i'm not interested in any of the side effects either, or the increased rate of colon cancer. so, it'll remain a thought in my mind right now.

my exercise minutes for today are soooo awesome....

total exercise minutes: 120! (30 weights, 45 walking, 45 elliptical)

total calories are awesome too!

calories: 1280 (although i'm nervous that i've forgotten to add something in...)

i've been keeping busy. good busy? i guess.

i'll have more to update this weekend.


Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

weightlossyoyo on 06/16/2007:
WOW!!! You did great!!!

WorkingIt2 on 06/16/2007:
Great job lately! Way to go! I also read about that 'weight loss' drug and laughed because it is STILL all about portion control. The lovely possibility of not being able to control the bowels, and reports of people 'soiling themselves' well...no thanks! Have a great weekend!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jun 14, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.0

hey! total minutes: 650

exercise: 45 minutes yay!

calories: 1350, guessing, hopefully no more! :)

writing more to you all tomorrow!

Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

GG on 06/15/2007:
haha, your messages always make me laugh when I read them, and thanks for letting me gorge on protein! hahaha! Nice job yesterday on your exercise & calories....what kinda exercise do you do, or do you mix it up daily? I just did 93 minutes on the elliptical...gotta go to 3 more, yea I am a bit strange but 96 just seems like a nice number: hahhaha! How's your summer going?

maria777 on 06/15/2007:
Hey, good on the exercise and calories!

Hope you have a wonderful day! Big Smile!

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jun 13, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.0

total workout minutes: 605 minutes

hi all!

workout minutes: 100 minutes! (30 weights, 70 cardio - but not "tough" cardio - walking,elliptical).

since i will be sitting most of the day for the next month studying and stuff like that...i feel it is ultra important to get planned cardio exercise in.

1500 calories. i am feeling better already! :)

thank you all for the motivation and words of wisdom. Hollybelle, what you said in yesterday's journal entry really helped me think about my situation in a better light.

we all go through difficult times, and i know my view of "difficult" in my life is very different from many of your experiences that were difficult.

ok, i must go make the most of this night...interview tomorrow.

Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

weightlossyoyo on 06/13/2007:
exercise and calories for the day look great!

greengirl on 06/14/2007:
What a good day for you HoP, and very positive too! Well done :o)

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jun 12, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.0

edit: thank you for all of your concerns.

Monday was my last day of work, unexpectedly. that's because the teacher decided to come in Monday...instead of Tuesday. so, i didn't even have advanced notice...my plan was to clean up the room a bit for his arrival. eh, it wasn't too messy to begin with.

i'm very nervous about the summer class, which involves conducting in front of peers and other music teachers/faculty....i presume these are the reasons for my binging.

its around 3, i've eaten1920 calories. i'm actually pretty full and i'm trying to decide if i should call it quits with eating for the rest of the night, rather than eat another day over 2000. i'm not sure.

....binging already....its 11:16am: calories = 1350 so far.

Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/12/2007:
Why??? What's bothering you? Come talk to us! Write down your feelings instead of stuffing them down with food. :-( Many hugs to you, HoP!

candance on 06/12/2007:
I agree with donkey dont hold back on your feelings on here. We are all in the same boat and its so therapuetic for me I know to write things down and have support from others. Good luck!

hollybelle on 06/13/2007:
Yeah - what the others said - but I know that to write down feelings I have to be in touch with them (of course) and I'm not always. It sounds like you are beginning to see parallels between your feelings/anxiety (?) about your summer class/being judged/finding job, etc........with food. Now the trick is to catch yourself beforehand. I think you are beginning to do that, that's why you have been noticing that you are more aware of what you are eating - no mindless binges - more a conscience thing. It may sound funny - but this is really progress. I'm still not sure why it is that when eating right is easy it is easy and when it's not I can sometimes have good control and sometimes not, but I'm still working on it. If you have anxiety about conducting in front of peers, what can you do about that? It always helps me (I speak in public and to peers alot) to remember that whatever fears I have most of the audience has all had, too. Also I try to that everyone has something to contribute and I am no different. I don't now how many times I have spoken and then thought - well, nobody got anything out of that speech - that was awful - only to have people tell me later that they remembered what I said and it benefited them in some way. I try to focus on doing my best (not perfect - but my best) and if anyone is thinking negative thoughts about it - that is THEIR problem - not mine. This only has come with practice, though. I got tired of feeling certain ways and began to wonder if there was another way to feel.....and there was!

greengirl on 06/13/2007:
Anyone would be anxious about having to perform in front of their peers. You have been under a lot of pressure recently and worrying about your eating is just another stress factor. If you feel full dont eat any more. You will only make yourself feel uncomfortable!! Keep your chin up HoP. If you need to vent, do it here!!!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Jun 11, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.0


I was eating alright...until tonight. i binged after dinner on bread with pb and 3 chocolate covered biscotti.

exercise: 75 minutes (25 min weights, 50 minutes cardio walking)

calories: 2385. blah, not good.

ok, talk to you all tomorrow!

Progress as of today: -1.6 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

MyJuneWedding on 06/12/2007:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, biscotti!!! No worries, tomorrow is a new day!!! awesome w/o times for today!!

Jmarie60 on 06/12/2007:
Don't let the binging get you down. Just reevaluate and really stick to your plan today. It'll be worth it!

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jun 10, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

total exercise minutes so far in June: 430

total exercise: 45 min.

total calories = 1795. lol. could be worse! Breakfast was big, 750 calories, got me off track to start with!

I need to realize that stress shouldn't mean eat!

i need to decide and figure out how many days i have left of work...and if i'm allowed to work a full 90 days so i can be paid as a teacher. if that isn't the case...i don't even want to finish out this week: i have enough things to do (which doesn't include sitting in school pretending to work...i'd rather go to yoga!)...especially if i'm only being paid as a sub, anyway. oh, and especially if i have to be in the same room all day with the other band teacher! then, i can't even study for my last grad class or practice horn...because there'll be someone else there with me! so, unless i can stay a full 90 days, it is not worth it to me. i'd be wasting my own time. i love it there...but i can't just take up my own time from more important matters.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

harleygirl79 on 06/10/2007:
Thanks for the nice comments. I keep my exercise going. I am a junkie about it now. That makes everything worth while. plus my kids and husband and the fun we are having now. Keep up your great work!!

greengirl on 06/11/2007:
Fitness and healthwise sounds like a good day for you HoP!!! My photo yesterday was after the race, after we picked up our finishing medals!! We had a great time. I hope you get your days sorted out. it sounds comlicated!! Take care :o)

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jun 09, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

edit:...oops. i binged at breakfast and dinner: total = 2800 calories.



hey all!

exercise: 60 mintues :) (1/2 hr weights, 1/2 hr cardio)

calories: still counting.....edit later.

so, this morning was a rather large, unnecessary breakfast, but i watched portions throughout the day. breakfast = 930 calories.

i've been taking care of business today. making a hair appointment, dropping off some things to the cleaners. catching up with phone calls, paying bills, etc.

now i just need to motivate myself to practice for my class this summer....will do soon!

oh, i plan on leaving you all some comments tonight as well!

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/09/2007:
How nice to treat yourself to some pampering. I desperately need a haircut too. I guess that would make me a Shaggy Donkey. Stay strong HoP!

weightlossyoyo on 06/09/2007:
busy, busy, busy!! Way to go on the exercise!!

Soon2BThin on 06/09/2007:
Oh, well, one day does not cancel out all the hard work you have been doing, right? Just get back on the horse tomorrow and do the best you can. That's how I look at it. Have a good one!

smiley2 on 06/09/2007:
Great job on the exercise! Im also glad your interview went well, keep us posted! Try and just have yoghurt at breakfast and nothing else....i have found that when i have any other sort of carb at breakfast it sets me up for a binge...dont know why. Have a good day! Wx

Donkey on 06/10/2007:
We are about the same height. Yesterday I topped off at 2400+ calories, because of the 2 Crunch bars I ate at the end of the day. I wouldn't call that a binge (it's not good, but it's not a binge). My point is, I didn't binge and yet we practically consumed the same amount of calories. I think we're so used to dieting and restricting calories that something over 2000 calories, which my ordinarily be enough to maintain seems like it's "over the top".

Have you tried to eat a little more at meals and then a 200-300 calorie snack 2-3x a day? Instead of feeling out of control when you eat, you will be more in control and keep your metabolism stoked throughout the day???

At any rate, please forgive yourself. Keep trying! To me, eating more but feeling in control is better than the bingeing. I *hate* that feeling.

WorkingIt2 on 06/10/2007:
***HUGS*** Holy cow you've had so much pressure! You know, you've had stress before..but (and I know I don't know the full story of your life) from what you had written before, it was nothing like what you've been facing lately! And you are doing better! Far fewer binges, far fewer 'no exercise' days! Hang tough..when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I believe that with all my heart in all life situations!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Jun 08, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

exercise: sad, none! i didn't have time and didn't want to do it before bed.

calories: 1555

the interview today went well. however, i am not very skilled in general music/chorus. Those are both part of the job, along with band. the interview lasted 45 minutes, which is good. but, we'll see.

I really hope something more geared towards just band comes along.

have a good weekend everyone!

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 06/09/2007:
We all need to rest our weary bones once in awhile. A day off exercise ususally leaves me more than ready the next day. Glad your interview went well.

greengirl on 06/09/2007:
Well done on the good interview and on your calories. You gotta have a rest sometimes HoP. You make me tired just reading what you have been doing!!! Put your feet up now and then :o)

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jun 07, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 115.4

calories: 1365

exercise: 65 (35 elliptical, 30 weights)

the concert this morning for the parents went well...but not as well as yesterday's school concert for the students in the school. ahhh, i'm glad its over...its one less thing to have hanging over my shoulders.

I tried to go to the demo lesson in another school district and come back to school after...so that i'd get paid for a full day. but, that didn't fly - i did come back, but a secretary told me i'd get a half day. yeah, that looks pretty bad on my behalf!

so, it seems that my "90 days" will not come to be. so, for the 80-something (probably 88 or so) days that i will work, i'll be paid as a substitute teacher. if i work 90 days, i'd be paid as a teacher (and backpaid for all 90 days!). honestly, i'm pissed.

If i didn't have to take off what now adds up to two and a half full days because of interviews, i'd have the 90 days! i'm so frustrated about that. tomorrow, i have another interview about a little over an hour away at 4pm. I get out of school at 2:30. obviously, i'd be cutting it close to get to the interview straight from the end of the school day. so, i have two options:

1. tell the principal i'm taking a half day because of an interview.

2. ask if i can leave school at 2pm - instead of 2:30.

well, i'm going with option 1. whatever! I don't want to come off to the school as someone just there for the money. so, i'll have to take another half day. I'm so sick of running my life around school to interview to concert to school to interview. this means that i'm lowering my chances even more for the 90 days.

you see, i haven't been given a certain day as my last one. therefore, i don't know if they will let me stay on when the teacher returns for the last 9 days of school (or, if he didn't, he wouldn't be paid all summer). everyone's in it for the money. well, almost everyone.

i'm frustrated, pissed, angry. I don't have a job for next year. I've been running myself ragged with interviews. I have a course in the summer that I should have been studying for like crazy - and i didn't start because of all these other things. Nothing is really going smoothly.

the demo lesson went well. one girl told me, in front of the class AND the teachers/administration observing me, that i was a good teacher! I told her she was a good student!

we'll see what comes of today's lesson...if they like me enough to hire me.

i just want a job, one that i know i can perform well. one that is suitable for me...too much to ask? it seems that way. well, i guess nobody said it was easy.

we have to work for things. but, still, for how long?

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/08/2007:
Good luck on the interview. I cannot imagine the stress you are under right now. I will keep your hope alive even when you get discouraged.

greengirl on 06/08/2007:
Keep your chin up HoP. You do deserve a job. Thats a bummer about the 90 days thing, so mean not to pay you the proper teacher rate, for what amounts to being a few hours down. I know it's not much consolation, but we are all rooting for you on here :o)

weightlossyoyo on 06/08/2007:
Exercise and calories were GREAT!! Good luck on the interview!

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