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Horn_of_plenty - Friday Oct 03, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

around 3500 today.

so i have a funeral to go to tomorrow which means no yoga. and i've chosen not to go to yoga today. I need to study now because i don't want to do it tomorrow, last minute. i'll probably walk before noon - maybe. otherwise, i'll go to grandma and walk with her and go to the gym tonight. no clothes for temple. not buying any. last time i bought them, i returned them after my grandfather's funeral bc there eneded up being damage to the shirt and the store actually took it back. oh well. whatever.

this funeral is for a parent of one of my mom's friends. my mom is in her 50s and all of the parents of my mom's friends are very old.

breakfast: good. challah, banana, pb: 550

snack/too much: chocolate chip pound cake and peach: 700

11:45 lunch: more cake 600

lunch again with family: huge bagel and whitefish spread: 600

total so far: 2450.

dinner: i should stick with salad and tofu.

movie tonight.

i recently watch a good movie: one hour photo with robin williams.


Friday evening:

i am scared about this new field i am in. i know i am VERY capable and that i really shouldn't worry. it's hard not having money. but all of this will eventually settle out. but this sucks right now, especially not being able to move out and become an adult. i feel very needy because of this and life is a bit confusing. tomorrow is another new day and all i can do is look on the positive. no yoga bc that will just frustrate me so i'll either walk a long walk or go to the gym. i have a wedding next week...haha, i thought i would look great. now my goal is to look good (and care about my body and health) and have it show come mid december. i know weight loss isn't the cure for my emotions but if i start caring it'll help with everything else going on in my life. time to care a bit more, again, another attempt. hopefully a better one. i forget what my stomach looks like UNBLOATED as it's been this way for over two weeks...


before leaving work calories: 1100

DD egg white flatbread: 300

mcdonald's med fries:400

taco bell crunchwrap: 600

DD oatmeal cookie: 500

pound cakes, chocolate, pretzels, challah bread: not a clue, but a lot! 1,600 at least

4500-5000 calories depending.

3 mi walk.

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

grumpy on 10/04/2008:
hey girl, i wish i was eating that healthy, what happens is that when the night comes, i overeat and i drink. i am about 4 pounds up. just waiting on this TOM to go away so i can weight in and go from there. i dont know.. i still think there's a way to go off and live by yourself, so many students do it. you just have to find a house that has a cheap room for rent or something... i wonder if that would make your binging better. i don't know, just something to think about. i care a LOT about you. I think you're a wonderful, smart, talented young girl and you deserve the best. xo :)

WI3 on 10/04/2008:
You are perfectly normal. And not alone. Found this link for you, relax and know that you are doing what is necessary right now..and as long as you keep moving forward, eventually you will be able to move on. Take care.


mcwoo40 on 10/04/2008:
Hiya,I'm in binge mode,feeling out of control again.What shall we do hey,tomorrow's another day,Julie

selina on 10/04/2008:
Hang in there, HOP! You can do it!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Oct 02, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

i will still take a walk later tonight...

binged after work...dumb!!!

breakfast: 320 banana, pb, tofu,sandwich.

snack: pb sandwich 300

lunch: indian microwavable food, fruit: 510

snack(s): 2 ounces wheatgrass 20, gnu fiber bar130, peach50, cereal and milk300, cookies200: 700 ....

estimations on calories: 2 chocolate and mini m&m covered pretzels 400, nuts 200, challah (1/4 loaf)600, apple crisp 400, ravioli w. cheese310, banana110...2020 (hopefully not more as it definitely could have been more...)

ehh. 4,000 calories today. dumb and dumber. i forgot the pound cake: 4400

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

skinnyjeans on 10/02/2008:
Don't feel dumb...you'll get back on track soon! :)

weightlossyoyo on 10/02/2008:
It happens don't worry over it and move on, if you worry you will make yourself feel worse and possiable do it again. Love yourself and just erase the binge from your brain.

Donkey on 10/03/2008:
I have seen pictures of Challah in the market flier that gets delivered in the junk mail every week --- oh it looks so good. I could totally understand consuming the whole thing. I'm such a carb addict it's not even funny!

I don't think it's "dumb" to binge. Obviously something's bothering you, stress, uncertainty, boredom, whatever it may be. please be kind to yourself. And patient. And forgiving.

balloonlady on 10/03/2008:
dont beat yourself up... all in moderation.. and you are aware of it.. you will do great...

greengirl on 10/03/2008:
You are being too hard on yourself. You are far from dumb :)

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Oct 01, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

1,000 cal up until dinner. dinner was good but a little large...good anyway.

dinner: salad with some dressing, microwavable eggplant parm, plum, dessert of cereal and milk, kombucha. not more than 750 i think.

total: AROUND 1750. ALRIGHT. at least i had dinner kinda early. no exercise, it's gonna rain and i don't want to go on the treadmill or to the gym. throat is a bit strange. but i never get REALLY sick unless i let myself get VERY run down. time to get more sleep. need to catch up on sleep...badly!

goodnight...i will comment later this week as i am exhausted.

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 10/01/2008:
2 days of amazing success for you! i know its hard but hang in there, you deserve nothing but the best...xoxo

Jen40 on 10/01/2008:
Oh I hope you don't get sick! Our family has it right now and it's awful. Keeps coming back again too, this is our second bout with it in three weeks. Your menu today sounds so yummy!

WI3 on 10/01/2008:
Keep getting that good sleep!

skinnyjeans on 10/01/2008:
Hope you get some good sleep and feel better tomorrow!

selina on 10/02/2008:
You had an amazingly successful day and I am so happy for you!

anewhb on 10/02/2008:
Hey HOP. Stopping by to say hello. Working on the house a lot and not much time for exercise these days. Ups and downs for me, too - hang in there. I am trying to think of my high cal days as "over-eating" days not binge days! LOL.......Trying to stay in the moment and not zone out like I do sometimes. More later......

anewhb on 10/02/2008:
Hey HOP. Stopping by to say hello. Working on the house a lot and not much time for exercise these days. Ups and downs for me, too - hang in there. I am trying to think of my high cal days as "over-eating" days not binge days! LOL.......Trying to stay in the moment and not zone out like I do sometimes. More later......

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Sep 30, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

haha, good day today and it will remain so. finally. gotta get this act together since my scrubs are becoming tighter! and scrubs should NOT be tight!


breakfast: bread, pb, 1/2 banana: 240

snack: apple very small 60

lunch: 250 salad/chicken good stuff

snack: mcdonald's parfait: around 250

dinner: chicken, veggies, and stuff like that. dinner with parents. can't imagine more than 500-600 i'm setting this high just in case.

total: around 1300-1400.

might take a walk after dinner. a short one!

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

lafemme_loca on 09/30/2008:
*HUGS* glad you are making it a great day :-) *dances for you* those scrubs will become soooooo loose.. i just know it ! :-) Have a good evening !

thinnside40 on 09/30/2008:
WhooHooHooHooHooHooewe WhooHooHooHooHooHooewe WhooHooHooHooHooHooHooeeweew!!!

Do it again.... YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loveray on 09/30/2008:
YAYAYAYAY. happy new year my love- lets make this THE one!

grumpy on 09/30/2008:
Good for you for having a day on track! At the plane today I watched this documentary about eating disorders called Thin. You know, it's so sad and chocking seeing these girls at 85 pounds and binging and purging. But on the other hand it gives you perspective as i saw them knowing they should eat and be healthy, and they don't and they lie, etc. Same to me, i know how and what i should eat and I simply havent been. It was good to see that. Xoxo

greengirl on 10/01/2008:
Well done HoP. You know you can do it sweetie :)

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Sep 29, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

bogus. let me tell you.

good eating until 7:45 after i walked and had dinner. it went downhill, royally. i'm still working on getting the right mindset to do what i have to so i can get back to a lower weight.

working on it.

binged big time means probably around 4,000 and hopefully no more calories.

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 09/29/2008:
Happy New Year, Hop. I wish you all the peace and harmony life has to offer. xoxo

loveray on 09/29/2008:
ps- can you pin-point today what happened after you walked in from your walk? were you all alone eating dinner? did something stressful happen on the walk?

animasola on 09/29/2008:
Hey - thanks for the welcome.

Loveray asked a good question. I find that evenings can be disastrous; when I am tired and hungry I tend to overeat or binge the most. Often times I tell myself I'm just going in to get a "snack" and then the dam breaks. Suddenly I become Zombie girl raiding the pantry, completely unsatisfied and unstoppable! I have made a goal for myself that took some time to catch on, but seems to be helping for now (most days) -- I try to stay completely out of the kitchen/pantry after 5 or 6. If you eat a good meal at about 5 before you are starving and then commit to staying away after that (make some tea ahead of time to sip on the rest of the evening), then it may help control the munchies that turn into a binge. On the other hand, restrictions/rules/obsessing can often lead to binging as well, so you would have to feel that out.

skinnyjeans on 09/30/2008:
Just keep working at it! Tomorrow is a new day! I just joined DD (again!)...we're all here to support each other!

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Sep 27, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

edit: give in. i guess i am just not scared enough about the health conditions that come with overeating. although i should be, for sure.

so, imagine all your favorite fast food restaurants, and all your favorite fast foods. i had them all. drove to several places and orderred several things. total binging.

total calories: around 6,000. not important to look up. i binged. what else is new??


breakfast: peanut butter sandwich, almond milk, 1/2 egg, chocolate covered pretzels, coconut/chocolate: 880

snack: fresh veg juice: maybe 80?

lunch: protein shake...and some fruit??

visiting grandma later sunday afternoon.

and probably tv/movie at night.

oh, and i need to study.

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 09/27/2008:
????????Halloween Sign???????.... I searched photobucket for fall fence and that picture was for the choosing, but it doesn't say "happy halloween" anywhere that I can see... Where do you see it? I just see pumpkins & a white picket fence....

Anyways, looks like you have good plans for tomorrow... Good Luck!

grumpy on 09/27/2008:
Have a great sunday! xo

MattsGirl16 on 09/28/2008:
Hey! Thank you for the nice comments you left on my diary. Your right, I am gonna write down what I eat on Tuesdays. Thanks for the advice. Have a great day!

thinnside40 on 09/28/2008:
Well, I'll be dad gum puzzled H_O_P.... I totaly believe you about "happy halloween" and it is just nuts!.... I am sure that my computer is the problem.. There are times that even I can't see some pictures or graphics when someone e-mails me.... I shall maybe save it for October 31st and post it again....hehe

Have a super day and enjoy your grandma visit

thinnside40 on 09/28/2008:
I found it...biscotti suggested refreshing the page (full quality) for us dial-up users... I saw it!

grumpy on 09/28/2008:
i think for now you need to be busy and be with people so you don't binge. we don't ever binge in front of others, right? you need a friend you could call and come visit at these times, or something to that effect. A boyfriend would be great too. match.com? i don't know, just other things to keep you busy. love ya. hang in there. xo.

WI3 on 09/29/2008:
Hello there =) I know there are days when my stomach feels so anxious, that I figure if I keep feeding it, that feeling will go away and everything will be all right. And while I am pleasuring myself with food, I am very happy. It is complusive and when it is over, I feel like a total failure. While I can binge like there is no tomorrow, there does seem to be a faster disconnect with myself than with you. We are the same but not..know what I mean? It's like all the reasons to binge are almost the same, but the impact situations have on us seem to hit you harder and give you a stronger reaction.

Not knowing exactly what you are going through, I can't really speak for you. But for me, I place undue stress on myself because I feel like I have to be perfect on the outside for everyone..either so that they have confidence in me, like me, don't leave me, or so that they just plain leave me alone. So sometimes I find myself putting on that perfection mask..and those are the days when I binge. In private.

And I know sometimes coming on this website and reading all the foods everyone has eaten, and all the desserts they've passed on...it makes me start thinking about food lol. And I noticed at the gym yesterday, that I had to look away from the televisions when food commercials were on. Something inside me triggers the need to feed when I am frustrated with my life. And right now, I am very frustrated. Bills, relationships, work, all of that good stuff.

I am honestly thinking about going to Overeaters Anonymous, they have a meeting on sunday evenings at the hospital. And I may follow that up with attending a TOPS meeting once per week. I am still trying to figure it all out in my own head..but the one thing I do know....I am not happy being the weight I am. Especially when I know I don't have to be...there is just something I need to find out about myself and I think I need some help finding it. Good luck to you.

greengirl on 09/29/2008:
Hey HoP, You are going thru a bad patch patch with the binging arnt you ?? I think grumpy might be on to something. I know I never binge in front of other people. At times I'm to embarrassed to eat in front of people at all cos I think they just think 'No wonder she is fat !!'

animasola on 09/29/2008:
Hi Horn of Plenty - You don't know me... I am a new member. I have been browsing the site for awhile, contemplating joining, but as I have been trying to overcome some of my own eating issues (disorders) I wasn't sure if a site like this would help me, or be the healthiest thing for me at this time in my life.

Anyway, I just want to let you know that you are facing a very serious struggle that thousands of other people have faced/are facing. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I really think you are at a point where you need to consider getting outside help. I don't want you to think that I doubt your character or strength, but I only suggest this because, as someone who also "binges," (a term that I've noticed is somewhat loosely used around here, and each person seems to have her own definition...), I know how devastating and empty and alone and dark and horrific that feeling is (often the "before, during, and after"). It is the absolute worst, and a cycle that feels extremely dominative and endless. Therapy - whether it is in a facility with other people who also face eating disorders, or a personal therapist (a good one) - can help break the cycle, and help you realize other underlying issues that are a part of you, that you possibly mask with these food issues (something I did/do as well). I realized that it wasn't even the physical symptoms (that some DD's have mentioned) that are so severe, but actually the mental effects that became/become extremely dangerous.

On a brighter note, my husband, who was compassionate enough to read up on eating disorders when I was facing some of my most difficult times, reassured me that "this will all pass." I know he didn't know for sure... and there are absolutely those cases that end tragically; however, MOST DO NOT! This is an unfortunate obstacle, that you can/will overcome! Please don't be afraid to ask for help... it probably will be the most freeing thing you do, and you may come out of it understanding a lot more about yourself.

I have to admit, I am surprised at the passiveness of many of the other Diet Diary comments, but I try to excuse it as simply the fact that people just *cannot* comprehend this struggle (or distinguish the difference between *overeating* and *binging* - two completely different things by definition). Also the "!!!!!" comment above was somewhat uncalled for. It is understandable to not be able to fully understand how someone feels/acts, or why someone is behaving in a way, but certain comments may indirectly cause more feelings of isolation -- Careful!

Life is full of obstacles; none of us can completely understand another's. I don't pretend to understand yours because I know each of us experiences things in our own way. Sometimes we force ourselves to extremities, but perhaps it is also within these cases that we gain the most strength, and the most light. You will get through this! As I mentioned before (and you probably know, but may forget at times) you are not alone! ooo Jenny

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Sep 25, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

saturday morning entry: binge for breakfast: 2750 cal.

700 calorie early dinner. snack foods. nothing too healthy.


later dinner: ounce wheatgrass, green drink. around 150 i think.

total: 3600. the end.

exercise: on my ass the whole day and 30 minutes/weights at the gym. did write a 10 page term paper today on breast cancer. good stuff - the paper, that is.


friday afternoon edit:

breakfast: apple, peanut butter: 200

snack: small apple 70

lunch: salad, beans, egg: 220 or so

snack: mcdonalds parfait and kombucha and that's it!!! 260

dinner: carrot chips, big smoothie with cookie dough protein powder, unsweetened almond milk, banana. bit high in calories but nothing terrible 425

total cal today: 1175. sounds about right. no exercise.


friday morning edit:

last night was complete with vomiting around 4am-5am because i woke up so nauseaus since i was WAY too full for even my own stomach to handle it. haven't had this situation in about a year and i definitely don't want to face it again. defiitely can't be good for my organs...especially in terms of cancer of the esophagous from the vomiting. i MUST try harder.


thursday late night edit: being so full, i'm going to bed after midnight. i'm stuffed. definitely around 135 lbs by now.

if there's a good reason to lose weight, it would be so my ankle has less pressure on it at work. the excess weight is actually hurting me!


parents not home, very tired...took it out on food:

4000 calories today. loser! could have done better, obviously.


breakfast: pb, bread, 1/2 banana. i like this breakfast!! :) and almond milk: 340

snack: very small apple: 50

lunch: subway veggie patty 6 inch. this actually has more calories than most sandwiches there. i took out some of the inside of the bread.around 360

snack: fiber bar (i need it, i'm so bloated from binging so often last week), shot of wheatgrass from a health food store, kombucha. 250

1000 calories so far.

dinner: 1,000...1300

total: 2500

was on my feet all day and my left weak ankle hurts. no gym tonight. gotta improve my strength this year!!!

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 09/25/2008:
Try drinking some of your calories...at least it is fatfree and will help. Hot chocolate, coffee, sweet tea...it helps a lot. Hope your ankle feels better! Love, Maria

thinnside40 on 09/25/2008:
Hmmmmmmmmmm...Me not like you call yourself "loser"...Nope Nope Nope..That's hogwash!

And what was it that you took out on food...Food doesn't have feelings!!! But, you do and look what it makes you feel like when you are done binging one given day.....

I am serious about a Dr. visit too for a physical... You may just have some kind of inbalance hormonally or otherwise... I may be way off base, but just trying to help you out the best I know how to and hate to see you frustered so much....

selina on 09/26/2008:
HI HOP! You are definetely NOT A LOSER! You are tired because of your work and tiredness can lead to eating, it's very normal. At least it is for me. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you know what triggers it, how to prevent it, etc, etc - it just happens. So, be gentle to yourself - try a bit harder tomorrow - for the sake of your ankles and waistline. Which reminds me, walking with poles would be GREAT for your ankles!!! hehehe - maybe you should join me here and we'd walk together with all those cool/young/fit people - with poles, nonetheless!!! I'd kick your butt! Have a good day!

grumpy on 09/26/2008:
Ah sorry you had a bad day. Let's all be losers together and lose all these extra pounds, ok? You're an awesome, hard working, talented young woman, you just probably need to work on your confidence, i think that's what leads you to binge. Have you ever tried therapy? All my friends keep telling me to go and i don't, but i really should. I did once and wasn't crazy about it, but I am more mature now and I think that should help, really.

Anyway, it is an elvis behind me in the pic. That's hollywood to you. Ha. And yea, i can see the weight loss on these pics too, even though these last ones i posted are not the most flattering ones I have. :)

legcramps on 09/26/2008:
I hear you about the excess weight on the joints thing. My knee has been killing me lately. Stay focused chica. You can do it.

grumpy on 09/26/2008:
Ugh, i know. That does not sound fun, but sometimes a bad experience like that is what it takes to click something inside of us (that goes beyond reason) and then you'll react and do better. Try to think of a really good period you had before, think of how it felt, when you went to bikram, didn't binge, ate healthy, lost weight. Try to focus on how good that felt and do it again. Easier said than done, I know. I try everyday myself too. But, we have to try everyday. Eyes on the prize girl! xo

lafemme_loca on 09/26/2008:
The cherry oatmeal is really good and easy to make, i posted the recipe on Monday I think... or maybe Tuesday... :-) It is just as good as the pumpkin spice oatmeal from last week ! :-)

lafemme_loca on 09/26/2008:
*hugs* I just read your entry. *double hugs* I am soooooo sorry about you wanting to take out everything on food. :-( You aren't a loser... you can lose those pounds and you can succeed in not binging. *triple hugs* As they said up there, keep your eyes on what you want most and not what you want at the moment. Ask yourself, 'why am i eating ?' and if it is anything other than for hunger... go occupy your hands with something else... go for a walk, take a shower, so something good. *quadruple hugs*

thinnside40 on 09/26/2008:
Sounds like Friday is better..... Have a super good weekend!

WI3 on 09/26/2008:
My hope for you is that you do not continue to vomit. You are right, eating yourself sick is not a good idea. But oh how many times I've been there myself without the vomiting..*sigh* I sure do wish I could say something that would be magic and help you through your struggle with binge eating. But I can't. What I can do is tell you that I believe that you will search and find the right key that unlocks the door to the reasons behind this eating, and eventually find that safe place inside of you that allows you to cling to yourself, rather than food. You are one of the sweetest and most honest people on this whole diary board. I have learned a lot from you over the past couple years and you have had a positive influence in my life. I wish I could give you what you want the most, you deserve to be happy, healthy and in control. And I know that once you find your way, you will get what you need in order to get where you want to be. I give you huge HUGE credit for starting over in your life with a different career! I would LOVE to do that, but my fears won't let me..and that is my struggle. Please know that while I cannot empathize with binge eating...I can empathize with the fears that hold us back from getting where we want to be. You are not alone, and you are thought of highly. Rest, find peace, find your serenity. Hang in there.

smiley2 on 09/27/2008:
Hi, i have been where you are now many of times in my life. Its so easy to fall into a habit of binging and self destruction. I found that overeating is connected to a routine, so the first thing you should do is to break your current routine eg go exercise when you feel an urge to eat coming on......good luck, you are a strong person. Wx

greengirl on 09/27/2008:
HoP, you've never been a loser in my book. In fact you have often been a source of inspiration. I'm so happy to be back here, I've missed you all, and you have always been good at giving support to other people. Look after yourself, dearie and try to not eat yourself sick again !!

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Sep 24, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

had an egg after my dinner smoothie: total cal are 1360.

if there is one thing i can be thankful for, it is for you guys right now. thanks for leaving me positive, helpful, thoughts and suggestions. they all help. and no, i will NEVER get offended. EVERYTHING is so helpful when i have days like yesterday. so thank you!

basically i'm starting fresh today and trying to work towards a healthier approach in general. again. but never giving up is the trick so i'm ready to start. I turned 26 this month and 26 will be a GOOD year. it's not too late to look the way I WANT TO. maybe it's too late by the wedding i have in 2.5 weeks but it's not too late for life. these are things i don't like to admit, at all.

I have learned a few things (life lessons) in these first 2.5 weeks of my program. Basically, it's ok to make mistakes. Just do it earlier than later!! Then at least you can learn early on. Speak up. Doesn't matter what other people think. really it doesn't. don't be ashamed to try something even if you aren't sure how. that's how i feel. of course i've learned these things before, but they have been demonstrated ten fold during these couple weeks.

breakfast: bread, 1/2 banana, pb: around 280. my stomach was sooo full from last night but i know i needed something substantial. this actually worked really well, surprisingly.

snack: apple. good choice again. wasn't even famished by lunch. 70 again, i was REALLY bloated throughout the whole day. could hardly get the apple down.

lunch: LARGE but healthy wrap. with turkey, mustard, tomato, lettuce. around 450

snack: fiber bar and kombucha drink: 230

dinner: definitely will be a drink that i'll make at home. one cup pumpkin and a serving of protein powder. cinnamon. around 200-250

1280-1300 cal. healthy and there's nothing i can do about yesterday. it's done.

exercise: not in the mood for the gym.....4 mi walk instead.

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 09/24/2008:
Good thoughts to put into action..... Try to find the positive in the situations...Lord knows the whirlwind Monday I had sure made me feeling so many unsettled emotions...BUT, I have let my determination to NOT go on prescription drugs drive me to finding out what WILL work to remedy my status...THEN if that doesn't work I will consider the doctors recommendations.... You find what is the right thing for you to work and that only comes by trial/error sometimes... We all do it!

LaFemme_Loca on 09/24/2008:
Yay for positive thoughts !!! :-) And getting back on track. :-) *hugs* Have a wonderful day !

loveray on 09/24/2008:
believe in yourself. your body is your ally not your enemy. see what happens when you develop a love for the skin youre in. good work getting back on track and letting go. love you!

selina on 09/25/2008:
I'm so happy to read this entry today! Good job, well done!

Maria7 on 09/25/2008:
4 miles walk....OUTSTANDING!!! Yayyyy! Cals look okay...try not to go too low...remember...food is fuel! Love ya!

grumpy on 09/25/2008:
I totally agree with you and I am so glad we're being helpful. I am sure you look just fine, but you will look even better and you know what you need to do. Bikram, baby! Haha. And other things, I think walks are wonderful too. xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Sep 23, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

yes, binged. calories:

healthy breakfast: 310

snack: 210

lunch: 200

Early large dinner: tomato 30, 2 cucumbers 60, microwave meal 350...dessert of 2 lg pieces chocolate cake 1120, some chocolate pieces 100. almond milk 40...followed by a binge 5 cookies 500. 9 crackers: 210, ice cream 230, cooked fruit: 300...choc. covered pretzel 200, 4 almonds 90?, pieces chocolate 180?...ravioli: 470..gum 35...yogurt

4850 approx.

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 09/23/2008:
Go get your cholesterol checked...... Just kidding!... I am being a pain!.....

Better days ahead H_O_P!

thinnside40 on 09/23/2008:
Thanks!~ Truth is by me telling my life story here on DD and the things that have now transpired...My hope is to spare any younger person like you many of the things that I am now trying to avoid with my past unhealthy lifestyle in younger years..... It will and DOES catch up sometime... Proof is in my pudding!

To change habits is not an easy thing, but one must NEVER give up trying..One day, it will stick and you will see that YOU CAN/WILL make it..... So much wishful and genuine success is on my want list for you my dear!

Maria7 on 09/23/2008:
Okay...you are one that I really feel I can be myself with and you won't get mad at me...I believe that right now you are fine with your weight for your height. BUT!!!! If you keep on doing the binge thing that 'MIGHT' change, dear Friend! I know what it is to binge on foods, especially if one is STRESSED OUT BIG TIME...oh yes, I sure do know how it can be...but I'm here to tell you that you can be full and satisfied on a lot less calories...yes I know that you know all of this but I'm going to say it anyway....I want to share with you what works (most of the time but not always) for me...

To ward off sweets cravings, I SUBSTITUTE with low-cal healthy choices...like if I am craving chocolate candy/cake/cookies, a good way to take care of that craving is hot chocolate with marshmellows...I use the kind that has SUGAR in it and is a total of 120 calories each and I use a big mug to make it in cause that way it lasts longer....Also another thing to SUBSTITUTE for sweets cravings are fruits like grapes...some are only 50 calories per cupful but I happen (wouldn't ya know it?) to like scupanong grapes at 100 calories per cupful which is still pretty okay and filling (if you put grapes in the fridge and make them cold they are better tasting)...

If you are craving salty/crunchy...how about low-fat popcorn??? Lots of fiber there and pretty low-cal, too...

Anyway, that's my say for tonite...take care, dear Friend. Remember, you are fine where you're at now but just thought I'd say all this anyway. SMILE!!! ~Love, Maria

selina on 09/24/2008:
I totally agree with Maria ~ please listen to her, she seems to know what she is talking about. And please know that we are not doing/saying this to annoy you - I just care about you and know that it's not easy to stay on track. Make sure you eat a snack in between your brakes so you don't go to dinner famished. Yes, I know you already know all of this, but I just thought I'd repeat it, like talking to myself. Stay well my friend!

Donkey on 09/24/2008:
I echo what the others have said. Make sure your breakfast has substantial protein in it. And I would aim for 500 calories for breakfast. Maybe even 600 if you have more than 3-4 hours between breakfast and snack or lunch.


grumpy on 09/24/2008:
Sounds like you got good advice here, I also add that idea i had before, of trying to recognize ahead which days and situations make you wanna binge. Maybe you'll find the common denominators there.. love ya!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Sep 22, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

i didn't binge but i also didn't choose the healthiest things. actually, in a way i did...but we had a party today and i wanted to "give in" to everything that tempted me. of course, i could have had one garlic knot...but they were big, doughy, and awesome. and the pizza was excellent. you only live once! :)

breakfast: healthy but not so satisfying: small banana with tbsp pb and almond milk 240.

snack: bar 210 (i like having a bar and will NOT give it up for something else it's also fast and easy during class etc)

lunch: lg piece of pizza with broccoli on it, 2 humongous doughy garlic knots. SELTZER! :) i have NO idea on calories since garlic knot and pizza slice sizes can vary and really affect calories. my guess for total of lunch: 1600?? maybe more,probably not less!

snack: green drink, 1/2 smoothie 200

dinner: apple, other 1/2 smoothie 170

approx. total: 2420. alright. was a good day despite.

exercise: 35 min elliptical, weights, abs.

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

kzirkle on 09/23/2008:
yum, I'm definitely gonna go look for a 7-eleven in my area! haha

selina on 09/23/2008:
Great exercising! How come you stopped walking? (Just curious)

loveray on 09/23/2008:
looks like you did a GREAT job with all that tempting stuff around. love to you!

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