had one of thos Special K water packets, pink lemonade. i bought two small boxes of them so I'm not throwing them out. figured I'd use it. in general, i'm not having a lot of artificial sugars though.
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i stepped on the scale and got kinda freaked out. 131 lbs. wow! not good at all. i didn't think i was higher than 130. well, at least it's the afternoon and not the morning without any food in me. not good though. i will update this weight now.
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back in Dec. 2006 i weighed 105 for a brief while...quickly going back up to 112-113. so, my goal is to get down to the 112-113 weight eating a plant and protein based diet.
i have not updated my weight and it is up a bit these past two weeks. by up i mean closer to 130lbs. i haven't weighed and will not weigh. I know what I need to do to lose the weight and a scale doesn't have to confirm it for me right now. I do NOT want to put a higher number up so I guess I'll have to lose the weight. I have chosen a new approach - actually an old approach that I took 1.5 years ago in order to lose weight FAST in one month for a vacation. low carb, protein and veggies, and healthy fats. If anyone remembers GG on here, this was her diet. Speaking of her, I hope she is ok and doing well. Anyways, I don't plan on sticking with only veggies and proteins for life at all. But i will keep it enforced until I begin school and probably through the first week if not more.
Breakfast: salad with lettuce mix/tomato, olive oil, hard boiled egg. felt good after having this! :) calories approx. 230
early lunch: healthy salad with olive oil an egg and a tomato..followed by 1/2 a jar of pb!...and deli chicken and turkey (moving on...and yes this was too much food!) approx. a big lunch of 1700 oops.
snack: 2 red peppers, 1/4 avocado, piece tofu: 220
total so far: 2150. i guess i'll save the salmon for dinner another night. I'm going to try and just have about 100-150 more calories today. probably in the form of a protein shake.
late dinner: protein shake 100-150 calories and that is all.
total calories today: about 2250-2300.
Progress as of today: -6 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!
when living with others, i also live with food temptations. that's why i'm not allowing those temptations for at least a month. if i want it, i just cannot take it. period. actually, i'll say if it is unhealthy more than it is healthy, i will not be allowed to touch it. that's the goal.
total calories: approx. 2220.
not terrible but definitely too high for my activity level which consisted of sitting on my ass the whole day except for a quick mile i walked. i'm not complaining though. i fully intend to be back on track tomorrow - especially with mom and dad back to work. :)
i do admit i probably spent too much time alone today though, once my mom, dad, and sister went to the beach. next summer i would like to go to the beach on a regular basis if i can manage to get in shape. the good thing about the beach (there are many) is that it would get me out of the house for the entire day. however, if i have to pay for it, i will have to think about it. we'll see. i guess it's not important right now.
my plan is yoga tomorrow. i want to cancel my wax appt and gyno appt because i'm feeling crappy but that's not the right idea. so, i'll keep them...and pray TOM doesn't come on Thursday!
thanks for not giving up on me...i haven't either. i briefly was watching some videos of myself last summer when i was around 112-113 and boy did i look adorable! lol. need to get back to that. i miss it VERY much.
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ok, another new day today. filled with my mom waking up in the morning with a loud mouth to my dad. of what she said i have no idea because i wasn't really listening. just complaints.
large, but satisfying breakfast: cup of fiber one, small whole banana, almond milk, lots of pb on a big spoon: 600.
NO ARTIFICIAL SUGARS TODAY. WATER.
snack: lots pb on a bran cracker 500...fiber one w. milk: 670
lunch: turkey sandwich, chips, plum: 670 also.
total so far: 1940.
leave house and read at park...then walk later.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
anyway, thanks for the compliment, it's actually a shirt and i were tight jeans. i am still a little self conscious of the tight jeans but i am getting better at not caring. hehe.
you should talk to loveray about it, she also has a hard time putting herself out there socially at times and she and i were talking about this on sat. her post today is actually about this. xoxox
Hope your Tuesday is a good one!
had something else, had everything else: 6,000 calories today. i am having a very tough time although i thought i was out of it already and binged horriby this afternoon. 3 slices pizza, tons of pie, and lots of other things. i know where i want to be but i am having MAJOR trouble getting there.
i like loveray's challenge too. sorry you guys have to read this.
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1pm edit: no plans this holiday weekend except to try and relax. it's sorta working but not with my mom yelling and screaming for no reason! actually, she was arguing bc my dad brought home pizza he thought she'd like but it was warm and not hot. and, she was complaining that my sister got home too late and she wanted to already leave for the beach. and that my sister ate food she was saving for dinner and that she ruined her plans. she is sooo annoying! can't wait till these two days are over and she is back to work while i have my week off.
lunch: tofu 1pc, olive oil 1tbsp, romaine, large plum tomato, small apple: approx. 340. may reach for something else but it will be low carb.
total so far: 1505.
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breakfast: nectarine, huge protein bar, pb sandwich, almond milk: 780....extra pb: 1150
yoga later and a walk or gym.
during yoga: water mix: 15...1165
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
As for TOM ~ To tell you the truth, I don't keep track either!....I do have it on one of my zillion calendars around here, if I were to have to really need to know.... I have my appointment Sept 22nd and know I will be safe, unless something strange happens... I just know that mine is within the next week most likely...Just "SIGNS" are the mood swings & short temper......
calories are about 2265 today.
ok...come time for my friend's wedding, i WILL be ----en 15 lbs less. I WILL weigh in the 110-120 range. NO more Freekin excuses darn it! I am too young to look like this. OR, I'm worth much more than I'm putting out. SICK of it. I have to go the low carb way for now. It'll speed up weight loss and I plan on sticking with it. Carbs will be moreso from fruits/veggies than grains. Healthy oils. less calorie counting, more focus on health. and NO bars this week. NO matter what.
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for the 1000th time, i'm ready to grow up. no more stupid food games. my favorite quote of the year:
"If it were easy, everyone could do it."
This quote is really good for any of life's complications and hardships. It may be difficult, but a challenge is a challenge and that's why it's hard to succeed. It should be. So is my case - with my occupation and with my diet. Of course, moreso with diet right now.
snack cal: 100
dinner calories: 205.
total so far: 2145. I can go up to 2250 for today. Then, i plan on a low carb - produce only diet for the week to look my best for the start of my program.
remember, if it were easy, everyone would do it.
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1820 cal and its only 10am. no yoga today. reading right now for my program which starts in one week.
feeling self conscious.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
i binged. expected - usually happens when i end something (like a last day of work, etc). so, calories are 2600 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
ok, i'm exhausted and NEED a nap. no yoga. but i will stop by the gym later.
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pretty good day so far.
one mile walk during work since we didn't have lunch so i couldn't walk then. we got out early instead! :) and, it was my LAST DAY! wahoo! because this week i'm on VACATION instead of working up until the last minute before i go back to school! wahoo for relaxation and doctor's appointments and whatever else i need to do to get ready. unfortunately, this will involve a LITTLE shopping. i don't want to, but we can't wear our uniforms until the 3rd week...so i need to dress nicely. It's the rest of my life that this xray program is preparing me for.
will bike ride to yoga today.
then, yoga tomorrow morning and sunday morning. then, next week i will TRY for yoga 2x per day when i can.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
after a binge day, it is almost impossible for me to get right back on track. (hehe, another reason not to binge in the first place!) however, i have now pretty much recovered and i'm looking foward to my week off.
total calories for today will be: 1670 to 1700 cal!! well done, jackie! :)
dinner will be eggplant rollettes by cedarlane (microwavable) and a humungous cucumber...and a small amount of lettuce. followed by some mints.
calories are not bad at all. i had a lot of fruit when i got home from work...and now i'm going out for a bike ride! i snacked on a large plum and two large apricots.
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doing ok. woke up STARVING and bloated all at the same time! and exhausted.
calories ok. lots of coffee at work with no sugar added almond milk.
more to come.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
evening edit:I didn't binge. yes, i had a big dinner but not a binge. dinner: whole bag of broccoli slaw, microwaved with garlic, one tomato, one large plum, microwavable meal. 450.
total cal today: 1750 approx. so much better! :)
2mi exercise during work...and i plan on the gym tonight. with some weights/elliptical.
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afternoon edit: so instead of working all the way till next friday and then possibly heading into my new xray program unrefreshesed, i'm finishing work this Friday. taking a whole week off to prepare myself. i do plan on going to yoga every day that week since i do have an unlimited course.
i hope to at least balance out my crappy eating this week by the time i enter the program, Sept. 8th. haha, my birthday is the 9th. i thought i'd definitely have lost the weight by then. instead, i maintained this summer. If I could go back in time, I think I could have made much better choices and could have DEFINITELY lost at least 10 lbs. I'm a little upset about that. and writing this makes me want to be successful for the future. starting now.
i really do know i can do it. when i turn 26, i want it to be a year of successes. So I didn't reach my goals for the end of the summer, but life still has it's opportunities. damn it...i'm sooo young and have so much life ahead of me. i NEED to quit it with thinking so negatiely all the time. i worked all summer. that's great. didn't really earn me that great a profit though.
i need to remember life should be ENJOYED. read a little, relax a little, an spend time doing things for the betterment (not a word!) of myself.
the weight loss journey has not ended. and it will be successful.
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original entry:
having some difficulty staying totally on track. will try for a 2,000-2,200 cal day today.
having Dunkin Donuts for lunch. May give into temptations.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
Forward & Downward (number wise)!
not good day. i thought it would be but apparently not! 4500 cal. i'm in one of those phases or negative cycles right now. i'm trying to end it, sort of...
when speaking of a negative cycle i mean i binge one day and then can't break out of it for a few days.
tuesday: 4500
monday: 3600. ew.
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binge last night followed by 1400 calorie breakfast today.
but, i am actually back on track to a degree!
more later.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
It must be that we reach a place (maybe a scale number or a confidence that we are slim enough) where we feel 'safe' to eat what we want for a while...
But...we eventually 'wake-up', don't we and realize...IT IS TIME TO DISCIPLINE OURSELVES AND GET BACK ON TRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Love, Maria (smile!)
binge followed by more bingeing: bread with pb and cream cheese and caramel topping. 600!!
total cal: 3600.
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wanted to binge a bit after dinner and gave in. following my 450 cal dessert, i had 1/2 cup raisinettes (360) and two granola bars (280)
total cal: 2960. i'll round that to 3,000.
sheesh. everything tastes so good.
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lots of eating today. in a good way buy i do actually feel a little bloated. all good.
2 mi during work...and i would like to go on another short walk. like a half hour. i have to call this guy back from online dating who left me a message last night...i'm really not in the mood to talk to any guy right now but i have to. :( i'll tell him i have to go but didn't want to not call back.
so far, calories are 1870 but my mind is wandering and wants dessert. lol. dinner was a satisfying 570 calories. so we'll see.
gave in to dessert. rich ice cream with some jelly on top.
total cal might be as high as 2320. ok.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
1850 calories today. right now, i cannot be so concerned with calorie restriction and diet as much as just eating within my calories. I will be starting a whole new education program in two weeks which is not much time. It is NOT time for a crazy diet plan. Exercise, that's fine. But, it's NOT the time to try to lose as much as I can or something before the program starts. It's only important for me to be myself and work to achieve my goals as much as I can without going overboard.
This was actually a good weekend because I didn't binge eat. More or less, I had a decent amount of calories both days as well as Friday. I am proud of myself for making good decisions on these days.
Still, I get too hungry in the mornings/afternoon and I'm going to have to think about the foods I will be eating and when during this program. I need to have ENERGY. I need to do my best. This is a big chance for me and for the rest of my life! I am excited and anxious for it to begin! :)
Exercise: 40 min bike, hot yoga :), 30 min stroll, 20 min elliptical, some weights and abs. yes, a complete physical day. wouldn't change a thing.
Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
Suggestions for keeping hunger away: Protein! And fiber! And did I mention Protein? :-)
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Hi there! I was thinking about you the other day when I went to an Al-Anon meeting. Neither of my parents are alcoholics by their parents were. So they were raised by dysfunctional people and they passed along some of those fears and stuff to us kids. I'm not saying there are any alcohlics in your family...but the meeting was very eye opening and I am learning how co-dependant on people I really am. And how I really try to control my life situation and when I can't, I turn to food. I turn to food as punishment more than as comfort. There are two books I am reading, one is called "The Language Of Letting Go" and the other is called "Codependent No More" both by the same suthor Melody Beattie. Even if there aren't any alcoholics in your family, these books are really good reads because they allow us to understand ourselves in the midst of dysfunctional relationships.
The hardest thing I did this weekend was to take my hands off my relationship with Brian. The feeling of trying to control him and turn him around to me was so strong. But in letting go, I got him back. And controlling my environment is truly a symptom of a dysfunctional environment. But it doesn't have to be alcohol or drugs or whatever. I hope you have a great day and thank you for always being a good soul =)
thinnside40 on 09/02/2008:
Tuesday is a Terrific Day!
Maria7 on 09/02/2008:
Your breakfast looks real good! Hope you are having a nice day! Big smile to you!
loveray on 09/02/2008:
i like your new plan! i am going to try to get back to more protein and plant foods as well. i have the same issue with peanut butter! maybe we should just trash it?
WI3 on 09/02/2008:
You are gonna be fine! You'll get your new groove going with the work thing and can concentrate more on YOU instead of worrying if the job you have is going to be ok. I admire your continued determination and how you share yourself with us. And I also wonder how GG is doing? Hmmmm....
You will do great with your new plan!
grumpy on 09/02/2008:
Hey girl, good for you to update ur weight. I will do the same tomorrow and I know i am up too, but you know what? it's not bothering me this time, what matters is what i will do from now on. xo