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Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Sep 02, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 131.0

had one of thos Special K water packets, pink lemonade. i bought two small boxes of them so I'm not throwing them out. figured I'd use it. in general, i'm not having a lot of artificial sugars though.


i stepped on the scale and got kinda freaked out. 131 lbs. wow! not good at all. i didn't think i was higher than 130. well, at least it's the afternoon and not the morning without any food in me. not good though. i will update this weight now.


back in Dec. 2006 i weighed 105 for a brief while...quickly going back up to 112-113. so, my goal is to get down to the 112-113 weight eating a plant and protein based diet.

i have not updated my weight and it is up a bit these past two weeks. by up i mean closer to 130lbs. i haven't weighed and will not weigh. I know what I need to do to lose the weight and a scale doesn't have to confirm it for me right now. I do NOT want to put a higher number up so I guess I'll have to lose the weight. I have chosen a new approach - actually an old approach that I took 1.5 years ago in order to lose weight FAST in one month for a vacation. low carb, protein and veggies, and healthy fats. If anyone remembers GG on here, this was her diet. Speaking of her, I hope she is ok and doing well. Anyways, I don't plan on sticking with only veggies and proteins for life at all. But i will keep it enforced until I begin school and probably through the first week if not more.

Breakfast: salad with lettuce mix/tomato, olive oil, hard boiled egg. felt good after having this! :) calories approx. 230

early lunch: healthy salad with olive oil an egg and a tomato..followed by 1/2 a jar of pb!...and deli chicken and turkey (moving on...and yes this was too much food!) approx. a big lunch of 1700 oops.

snack: 2 red peppers, 1/4 avocado, piece tofu: 220

total so far: 2150. i guess i'll save the salmon for dinner another night. I'm going to try and just have about 100-150 more calories today. probably in the form of a protein shake.

late dinner: protein shake 100-150 calories and that is all.

total calories today: about 2250-2300.

Progress as of today: -6 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

WI3 on 09/02/2008:
Hi there! I was thinking about you the other day when I went to an Al-Anon meeting. Neither of my parents are alcoholics by their parents were. So they were raised by dysfunctional people and they passed along some of those fears and stuff to us kids. I'm not saying there are any alcohlics in your family...but the meeting was very eye opening and I am learning how co-dependant on people I really am. And how I really try to control my life situation and when I can't, I turn to food. I turn to food as punishment more than as comfort. There are two books I am reading, one is called "The Language Of Letting Go" and the other is called "Codependent No More" both by the same suthor Melody Beattie. Even if there aren't any alcoholics in your family, these books are really good reads because they allow us to understand ourselves in the midst of dysfunctional relationships.

The hardest thing I did this weekend was to take my hands off my relationship with Brian. The feeling of trying to control him and turn him around to me was so strong. But in letting go, I got him back. And controlling my environment is truly a symptom of a dysfunctional environment. But it doesn't have to be alcohol or drugs or whatever. I hope you have a great day and thank you for always being a good soul =)

thinnside40 on 09/02/2008:
Tuesday is a Terrific Day!

Maria7 on 09/02/2008:
Your breakfast looks real good! Hope you are having a nice day! Big smile to you!

loveray on 09/02/2008:
i like your new plan! i am going to try to get back to more protein and plant foods as well. i have the same issue with peanut butter! maybe we should just trash it?

WI3 on 09/02/2008:
You are gonna be fine! You'll get your new groove going with the work thing and can concentrate more on YOU instead of worrying if the job you have is going to be ok. I admire your continued determination and how you share yourself with us. And I also wonder how GG is doing? Hmmmm....

You will do great with your new plan!

grumpy on 09/02/2008:
Hey girl, good for you to update ur weight. I will do the same tomorrow and I know i am up too, but you know what? it's not bothering me this time, what matters is what i will do from now on. xo

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Sep 01, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

when living with others, i also live with food temptations. that's why i'm not allowing those temptations for at least a month. if i want it, i just cannot take it. period. actually, i'll say if it is unhealthy more than it is healthy, i will not be allowed to touch it. that's the goal.

total calories: approx. 2220.

not terrible but definitely too high for my activity level which consisted of sitting on my ass the whole day except for a quick mile i walked. i'm not complaining though. i fully intend to be back on track tomorrow - especially with mom and dad back to work. :)

i do admit i probably spent too much time alone today though, once my mom, dad, and sister went to the beach. next summer i would like to go to the beach on a regular basis if i can manage to get in shape. the good thing about the beach (there are many) is that it would get me out of the house for the entire day. however, if i have to pay for it, i will have to think about it. we'll see. i guess it's not important right now.

my plan is yoga tomorrow. i want to cancel my wax appt and gyno appt because i'm feeling crappy but that's not the right idea. so, i'll keep them...and pray TOM doesn't come on Thursday!

thanks for not giving up on me...i haven't either. i briefly was watching some videos of myself last summer when i was around 112-113 and boy did i look adorable! lol. need to get back to that. i miss it VERY much.


ok, another new day today. filled with my mom waking up in the morning with a loud mouth to my dad. of what she said i have no idea because i wasn't really listening. just complaints.

large, but satisfying breakfast: cup of fiber one, small whole banana, almond milk, lots of pb on a big spoon: 600.


snack: lots pb on a bran cracker 500...fiber one w. milk: 670

lunch: turkey sandwich, chips, plum: 670 also.

total so far: 1940.

leave house and read at park...then walk later.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

loveray on 09/01/2008:
yay! you can do it. IM me if you need to chat today or want to avert a binge. i am here for you! xoxo

Donkey on 09/01/2008:
Get OUT of the house! Your mother is toxic today. I'm not saying she's a bad person; just that her behavior is not healthy for you right now at this moment.

thinnside40 on 09/01/2008:
Lots of protein should keep you going on that walk today.... Have a good one!

Beth201P on 09/01/2008:
Get out and have some fun today. Go for a walk etc. Have some me time. ((HUGS))

Donkey on 09/01/2008:
Just checking in to let you know I'm thinking of you. I hope you are doing better... Get rid of the peanut butter until you are stronger.

grumpy on 09/01/2008:
yea, get out and have a good day off. xoxo

lafemme_loca on 09/01/2008:
I hope you have a beautiful walk. *hugs* I hope you achieve your goal on the no artificial sweeteners today. :-)

cybermom4 on 09/01/2008:
October - you can do it! One day at a time - minute by minute. Thanks for your encouragement - may we both reach our goals! :)

grumpy on 09/01/2008:
his shirt says "you sake". hahaha. actually he's been wanting a T shirt that says something about sake for a while and we keep coming up with silly lines like that. there's a store here that makes these costume made shirts and we went there yesterday and he loves his shirt. i told him to write YOU SAKE. hahahahaha (as in you suck).

anyway, thanks for the compliment, it's actually a shirt and i were tight jeans. i am still a little self conscious of the tight jeans but i am getting better at not caring. hehe.

you should talk to loveray about it, she also has a hard time putting herself out there socially at times and she and i were talking about this on sat. her post today is actually about this. xoxox

grumpy on 09/01/2008:
btw, 112 is only 10 pounds away. focus on your goal and you can be there in 3 months. :)

Animob on 09/01/2008:
I love reading at parks... Well, its better than reading at home. I will end up cleaning my apartment all over again! Lol.. I am staying in Malaysia. I'll let you know when my Visa is already approve to go to US. Lol.. Been Struggling to get it for the past 1 year. I do eat vege, I have it on my sandwich.. Ehe.. Thanks for your comment... Its so sweet of you!! Cheers!!

Maria7 on 09/01/2008:
Sounds like you are under a LOT of stress....have you thought about maybe moving out on your own? (Just an idea...)

thinnside40 on 09/01/2008:
You may think that others have worse issues than you or that those issues are more important, but your issues ARE important to deal with and get to the bottom of rectifying them, so you don't feel the need to binge anymore for whatever reason(s).... Even though a 122.5# woman sounds mighty wonderful, you know where your healthy limit is and want to be there..So be it!....

Hope your Tuesday is a good one!

lafemme_loca on 09/01/2008:
Yay to looking forward to tomorrow. I will be praying for you. :-) I will also pray that ToM doesn't show up at an inopportune time. Mine wonderfully showed up yesterday... grr... but at least it wasn't tomorrow... first 24 hours is always the worst ! Anyway, that was probably TMI ;-) anyway, you can so reach your goal. 12 pounds is very do-able. Stay focused. I love that you are looking at food choices and making the healthy selections and staying away from the unhealthy ones. *hugs* I am glad you went for a walk. :-)

selina on 09/02/2008:
You've got a very good goal there, HOP! Have a good day!

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Aug 31, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

had something else, had everything else: 6,000 calories today. i am having a very tough time although i thought i was out of it already and binged horriby this afternoon. 3 slices pizza, tons of pie, and lots of other things. i know where i want to be but i am having MAJOR trouble getting there.

i like loveray's challenge too. sorry you guys have to read this.


1pm edit: no plans this holiday weekend except to try and relax. it's sorta working but not with my mom yelling and screaming for no reason! actually, she was arguing bc my dad brought home pizza he thought she'd like but it was warm and not hot. and, she was complaining that my sister got home too late and she wanted to already leave for the beach. and that my sister ate food she was saving for dinner and that she ruined her plans. she is sooo annoying! can't wait till these two days are over and she is back to work while i have my week off.

lunch: tofu 1pc, olive oil 1tbsp, romaine, large plum tomato, small apple: approx. 340. may reach for something else but it will be low carb.

total so far: 1505.


breakfast: nectarine, huge protein bar, pb sandwich, almond milk: 780....extra pb: 1150

yoga later and a walk or gym.

during yoga: water mix: 15...1165

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

loveray on 08/31/2008:
you and i both need to jump on the let's just do it wagon!! no more "fake foods" and too many calories at one sitting...let's do this together. i challenge both of us to begin right now- eat what we say we will eat and weigh next sunday or monday morning. i bet we will get closer to where we want to be for our new jobs and etc. what is it with binging after hanging out with new boys??? or old boys for that matter...haha. xoxo

thinnside40 on 08/31/2008:
I like loveray's challenge!........ Have a good day!

mcwoo:) on 08/31/2008:
Hope youe weekend get's better.I bet I've had more cals than you today, tut tut Julie

thinnside40 on 08/31/2008:
Not much one can say when ya put it like that!..... So, heres to better days ahead and without all the stresses!

loveray on 08/31/2008:
it's ok..this is what we are here for!!! take a glance in the mirror. a hard glance. i want you to look into your eyes and tell yourself how beautiful, smart and worth it you are. just stare at your eyes! get yourself out of that crazy-cloudy state! i know it's so hard. i love you!

Beth201P on 08/31/2008:
Hey I have been their myself sorry to say many times lately. Hang in there. We can and will lose our weight. ((HUGS MY FRIEND))

thinnside40 on 08/31/2008:
Aren't we ALL broken records at one point or another????... Truth is that no matter how often we say we are or aren't going to do something, it is harder said than done 9/10 times and we just need to be honest about what we have'haven't done or eaten when we post our entries and not seem higher/mighty than the other people...... I truly do respect your honesty and that you are willing to keep trying, no matter what...... You are going to make it!!!!!

As for TOM ~ To tell you the truth, I don't keep track either!....I do have it on one of my zillion calendars around here, if I were to have to really need to know.... I have my appointment Sept 22nd and know I will be safe, unless something strange happens... I just know that mine is within the next week most likely...Just "SIGNS" are the mood swings & short temper......

lafemme_loca on 08/31/2008:
Wow, can I just say your mom sounds like my mom. She gets so angry and frustrated and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells all the time. You never quite no what will set her off... I think I am the only 23 year old who got grounded from using the car for not making her bed (yes, I was a college grad w/ two degrees and had lived in Europe for 2.5 years... but still got grounded for not making her bed when I came back from Europe before I moved to California for a job -- 10 years ago this weekend.) Anyway, long story short... hang in there ! You are an amazing person and do as loveray says... look in the mirror and remember how lovable you are. You mean the world to us ! *hugs*

Animob on 09/01/2008:
Hii there!! Geez, Mums will always be mum huh? Lol.. I am greatful that mum is busy with her own stuff and I am not staying with her. Lol.. I am sure you can do it! all of us have our ups and down! I have been soo stress up for the last several weeks. I will pray that you will be ok tommorrow! Take care!!

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Aug 30, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

calories are about 2265 today.

ok...come time for my friend's wedding, i WILL be ----en 15 lbs less. I WILL weigh in the 110-120 range. NO more Freekin excuses darn it! I am too young to look like this. OR, I'm worth much more than I'm putting out. SICK of it. I have to go the low carb way for now. It'll speed up weight loss and I plan on sticking with it. Carbs will be moreso from fruits/veggies than grains. Healthy oils. less calorie counting, more focus on health. and NO bars this week. NO matter what.


for the 1000th time, i'm ready to grow up. no more stupid food games. my favorite quote of the year:

"If it were easy, everyone could do it."

This quote is really good for any of life's complications and hardships. It may be difficult, but a challenge is a challenge and that's why it's hard to succeed. It should be. So is my case - with my occupation and with my diet. Of course, moreso with diet right now.

snack cal: 100

dinner calories: 205.

total so far: 2145. I can go up to 2250 for today. Then, i plan on a low carb - produce only diet for the week to look my best for the start of my program.

remember, if it were easy, everyone would do it.


1820 cal and its only 10am. no yoga today. reading right now for my program which starts in one week.

feeling self conscious.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 08/30/2008:
Go out and take a break-walk.....

Maria7 on 08/30/2008:
Yes...a walk is a good idea! Don't feel self-conscious! You are a wonderful person. Go outside with a smile on your face and walk a while...

Donkey on 08/30/2008:
Relax. Eating food isn't going to solve anything. You can't resolve other issues through bingeing.

grumpy on 08/30/2008:
Good for you. You can do it, girl! As for your comment, i hope you're right. I don't mind if tomorrow I am still at 167.6, but i will be pretty upset if I am up. I don't think i could possibly be up though, unless the ice cream really kicks in, cause i've been ok otherwise. Fingers crossed.

CutyPie on 08/30/2008:
good that you're really devoting yourself :) Sometimes, thou, it helps to take your mind off things... like a walk is good. I'm just starting to realize for myself that I need to fill my days with OTHER stuff, so I have less time to focus on the food and the negative. Good luck.

lafemme_loca on 08/30/2008:
I like your quote and that you are going to 'stop the food games'. I know you can do it. I hope you can rest and get some exercise even if it is quick. :-) Don't worry about your program, you will be awesome!

selina on 08/31/2008:
And, I endorse all the above comments.... But, seriously, it's not easy! But, it's not impossible, either. It's a fight and you have to be ready to win it!

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Aug 29, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

i binged. expected - usually happens when i end something (like a last day of work, etc). so, calories are 2600 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=

ok, i'm exhausted and NEED a nap. no yoga. but i will stop by the gym later.


pretty good day so far.

one mile walk during work since we didn't have lunch so i couldn't walk then. we got out early instead! :) and, it was my LAST DAY! wahoo! because this week i'm on VACATION instead of working up until the last minute before i go back to school! wahoo for relaxation and doctor's appointments and whatever else i need to do to get ready. unfortunately, this will involve a LITTLE shopping. i don't want to, but we can't wear our uniforms until the 3rd week...so i need to dress nicely. It's the rest of my life that this xray program is preparing me for.

will bike ride to yoga today.

then, yoga tomorrow morning and sunday morning. then, next week i will TRY for yoga 2x per day when i can.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

LaFemme_Loca on 08/29/2008:
YAY ! I hope you enjoy your vacation ! I hope you have an awesome time going back to school. I think it is great that you do yoga... I don't think I can do it unless I have a private tutor a few times... My body just will get too contorted and I will probably be the first Yoga Death ever. ;-) Have an awesome day !

glycrina on 08/29/2008:
Have a great vacation!! You deserve it!! I think you are right . . . I have more energy again. I actually cleaned my kitchen before I went to work today! It's amazing how just talking to someone can really help. I am going back to yoga myself . . . I took my first class today!

Maria7 on 08/29/2008:
Good on the bike riding!!!

grumpy on 08/29/2008:
2600 is not too bad. keep at that and tomorrow you start new. xo

loveray on 08/30/2008:
hope today is better than yesterday and congrats with finishing work!!! so proud of you. xoxo

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Aug 28, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

after a binge day, it is almost impossible for me to get right back on track. (hehe, another reason not to binge in the first place!) however, i have now pretty much recovered and i'm looking foward to my week off.

total calories for today will be: 1670 to 1700 cal!! well done, jackie! :)

dinner will be eggplant rollettes by cedarlane (microwavable) and a humungous cucumber...and a small amount of lettuce. followed by some mints.

calories are not bad at all. i had a lot of fruit when i got home from work...and now i'm going out for a bike ride! i snacked on a large plum and two large apricots.


doing ok. woke up STARVING and bloated all at the same time! and exhausted.

calories ok. lots of coffee at work with no sugar added almond milk.

more to come.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

WI3 on 08/28/2008:
Hope you feel better as the day goes on!

anewhb on 08/28/2008:
Feel bettr soon! I have to know (since donuts are one of my BIG weaknesses) them at Dunkin' Donuts yesterday? I love them, but, everytime I feel bloated - all that bread and sugar, I guess. Oh, my gosh - I just realized I am trying to live viariously through you and a possible donut exprience. Kind of like if I am not going to have them, I hope someone does! YIKES...not sure what this means!

Maria7 on 08/28/2008:
Soooo that's your name!!! Hello, Jackie!!!

thinnside40 on 08/28/2008:
Good Day....WhooHoo!!!!!!!!! Do it again!

grumpy on 08/28/2008:
Glad you're back on track. Hugs

selina on 08/29/2008:
HI HOP! I'm glad you are jumping right back on the wagon!

Jen40 on 08/29/2008:
Your food sounds yummm!!! Hello Jackie!!!!

mcwoo:) on 08/29/2008:
Have yourself a great weekend,Julie

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Aug 27, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

evening edit:I didn't binge. yes, i had a big dinner but not a binge. dinner: whole bag of broccoli slaw, microwaved with garlic, one tomato, one large plum, microwavable meal. 450.

total cal today: 1750 approx. so much better! :)

2mi exercise during work...and i plan on the gym tonight. with some weights/elliptical.


afternoon edit: so instead of working all the way till next friday and then possibly heading into my new xray program unrefreshesed, i'm finishing work this Friday. taking a whole week off to prepare myself. i do plan on going to yoga every day that week since i do have an unlimited course.

i hope to at least balance out my crappy eating this week by the time i enter the program, Sept. 8th. haha, my birthday is the 9th. i thought i'd definitely have lost the weight by then. instead, i maintained this summer. If I could go back in time, I think I could have made much better choices and could have DEFINITELY lost at least 10 lbs. I'm a little upset about that. and writing this makes me want to be successful for the future. starting now.

i really do know i can do it. when i turn 26, i want it to be a year of successes. So I didn't reach my goals for the end of the summer, but life still has it's opportunities. damn it...i'm sooo young and have so much life ahead of me. i NEED to quit it with thinking so negatiely all the time. i worked all summer. that's great. didn't really earn me that great a profit though.

i need to remember life should be ENJOYED. read a little, relax a little, an spend time doing things for the betterment (not a word!) of myself.

the weight loss journey has not ended. and it will be successful.


original entry:

having some difficulty staying totally on track. will try for a 2,000-2,200 cal day today.

having Dunkin Donuts for lunch. May give into temptations.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

grumpy on 08/27/2008:
come on, day is not over yet, you can break the chain. xoxo

Maria7 on 08/27/2008:
I've gained as you can see if you read my entry. Hope you are having a nice day...

anewhb on 08/27/2008:
Smart to rest before starting school again. Knowing you want to change is the beginning of change.

thinnside40 on 08/27/2008:
You can and you will make it!... To look back and see how fast time goes by is what got me started here.... I realized how much time I had wasted, just trying...Never giving it 100% effort or chance to believe that I COULD make it... I am so determined in other areas of my life to get what I want/need..Why not give "ME" that dedication... I don't rob myself anymore, or most of the time I don't...Have the downs, but have made it so much easier this last 7 months than I ever have before....

Forward & Downward (number wise)!

legcramps on 08/27/2008:
Plan for success and failure won't even make it through the door! You can do this, and you will! And, Betterment IS a word and you used it in the sentence perfectly and I believe every word of it!

loveray on 08/27/2008:
i think its great that you are allowing yourself some rest. it is every bit as important as doing constantly. i am struggling with this, as i feel like being home all the time is breeding laziness...but my family and friends are telling me they havent seen me look this rested, healthy and happy in years!! hmm. ponder.

WI3 on 08/27/2008:
I am so excited for you! You sound so much happier now that you have the new job going! Congratulations!

grumpy on 08/27/2008:
I am so proud of you. That;'s a great day. Now go to bed, lock the door and swallow the key, till tomorrow. :) Hugs!

thinnside40 on 08/27/2008:

lafemme_loca on 08/27/2008:
YAY !!! I am so happy that you didn't binge ! Great veggies ! I am so happy for you ! Sleep well and enjoy life !

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Aug 26, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

not good day. i thought it would be but apparently not! 4500 cal. i'm in one of those phases or negative cycles right now. i'm trying to end it, sort of...

when speaking of a negative cycle i mean i binge one day and then can't break out of it for a few days.

tuesday: 4500

monday: 3600. ew.


binge last night followed by 1400 calorie breakfast today.

but, i am actually back on track to a degree!

more later.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

LaFemme_Loca on 08/26/2008:
Hang in there... You can get back in control and back on track. *hugs*

grumpy on 08/26/2008:
i agree he could have called and then i could tell from a crappy voice if he was really sick. am i jaded? hahaha as for the food i had to adapt since my mom was here. i was eating out with her at lunch and pretty much having one tiny thing for dinner so i could compensate. i know its not the best thing to do but in a special situation like that it worked. :)

grumpy on 08/26/2008:
make a list with your plans to break it too. :)

~maria~ on 08/26/2008:
I know all about food binges...and I know that WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY, YOU'RE HUNGRY!!! I also know that the DISCIPLINE and MOTIVATION have to 'be there' to stay on track...and usually there is a 'wake-up call' like we notice how SNUG our clothes are fitting OR we notice how HIGH that scale number is getting...that helps us get back on track and do what we knew we should have been doing all along...

It must be that we reach a place (maybe a scale number or a confidence that we are slim enough) where we feel 'safe' to eat what we want for a while...

But...we eventually 'wake-up', don't we and realize...IT IS TIME TO DISCIPLINE OURSELVES AND GET BACK ON TRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Love, Maria (smile!)

~maria~ on 08/26/2008:
I just read some of your latest journals...(sorry I've not been up on everyone's...I've been in a housecleaning mode)...and I just want to commend you on your high standard morals...everyone should be that way. That's what marraige is for anyway. I also see that you are about to begin a new career and need to make sure you have plenty of energy...yes! For real! Not a time for dieting...maybe for maintaining where you are...I wish you well! Smile!!!

thinnside40 on 08/26/2008:
Well Wishes For Successful Healthy Eating.......Have a good evening!

selina on 08/27/2008:
Hi HOP!!! I'm so sorry to hear you are in one of your negative cycles.... How about if you start listing the foods you've eaten, again like you used to. It may help ..... Good luck and I hope you'll have a better day today!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Aug 25, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

binge followed by more bingeing: bread with pb and cream cheese and caramel topping. 600!!

total cal: 3600.


wanted to binge a bit after dinner and gave in. following my 450 cal dessert, i had 1/2 cup raisinettes (360) and two granola bars (280)

total cal: 2960. i'll round that to 3,000.

sheesh. everything tastes so good.


lots of eating today. in a good way buy i do actually feel a little bloated. all good.

2 mi during work...and i would like to go on another short walk. like a half hour. i have to call this guy back from online dating who left me a message last night...i'm really not in the mood to talk to any guy right now but i have to. :( i'll tell him i have to go but didn't want to not call back.

so far, calories are 1870 but my mind is wandering and wants dessert. lol. dinner was a satisfying 570 calories. so we'll see.

gave in to dessert. rich ice cream with some jelly on top.

total cal might be as high as 2320. ok.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

grumpy on 08/25/2008:
I know.. it's hard to stop at times. I have had ice cream in my fridge for a few weeks and not opened it. that's a first for me and i am so proud. but if i stay another few weeks without getting laid, the ice cream gets it. HAHAHAHAHAHA xoxo

loveray on 08/25/2008:
sorry you are feeling the urge today. i hope that you wake refreshed with a new mindset to go into tomorrow. are you stressed about this online dating stuff? i know i could be...

selina on 08/26/2008:
HI HOP! I hope you'll get back on track today! Your food does sound good, though....

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Aug 24, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 122.5

1850 calories today. right now, i cannot be so concerned with calorie restriction and diet as much as just eating within my calories. I will be starting a whole new education program in two weeks which is not much time. It is NOT time for a crazy diet plan. Exercise, that's fine. But, it's NOT the time to try to lose as much as I can or something before the program starts. It's only important for me to be myself and work to achieve my goals as much as I can without going overboard.

This was actually a good weekend because I didn't binge eat. More or less, I had a decent amount of calories both days as well as Friday. I am proud of myself for making good decisions on these days.

Still, I get too hungry in the mornings/afternoon and I'm going to have to think about the foods I will be eating and when during this program. I need to have ENERGY. I need to do my best. This is a big chance for me and for the rest of my life! I am excited and anxious for it to begin! :)

Exercise: 40 min bike, hot yoga :), 30 min stroll, 20 min elliptical, some weights and abs. yes, a complete physical day. wouldn't change a thing.

Progress as of today: 2.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

teriyaki on 08/24/2008:
Good for you for making such good choices this weekend. Congrats on all the exercise...

selina on 08/25/2008:
This is, likewise, a wonderful entry! I see you are really focused in your new carreer. Stay well and healthy!

Donkey on 08/25/2008:
Sounds like a wonderful weekend! this is a good calorie level for you.

Suggestions for keeping hunger away: Protein! And fiber! And did I mention Protein? :-)

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