Edit: saturday: I've done everything in my power to eat so that I am satisfied and full...especially because yesterday was such a low cal day. I did end up getting quite hungry after i cleaned the ice off my car.
so far: egg and apple for breakfast...4 cups of bran cereal with 2 cups of soy milk (this all equalled two bowls of bran) and followed by a cup of pineapple flavored cottage cheese.
total cal - 950.
I would like to eat up to around 1750 today. that would be the goal.
_________________________________________________________________
WI points: ZERO...
995 cal. not easy! not again tomorrow, don't worry!
i woke up and was surprisinly not as hungry as I thought I'd be. I think eating right before bed did the trick last evening! I stuck to just an egg and an apple for breakfast. Later, a snack of another hard-boiled egg midmorning. I was very hungry, more than usual, by lunch. It was low cal, carrots, tomato and tofu.
My rehearsal tonight is cancelled due to the "ice" storm. Its terrible weather out there! I'm glad, because i'm just vegging out...next week will be busy and certainly next weekend! I have a much to be desired break here! I hope to use it wisely...and not binge and ruin it for myself.
I am trying to have a very low calorie day...because I wanted to somewhat even out my calories in seven days based on last Saturday's 4790 day...which has been on my mind a lot this week. somewhat obsessed, i suppose.
last night at rehearsal, i was having an AWEFUL time. at first, I was trying really hard and actually enjoying playing the music that was sounding nice coming out of my horn! however, all of a sudden i felt i wasn't doing well...and lost ALL momentum. I was spent, drained, from lack of sleep all week...although I did lie down in my bed for about 10 minutes that afternoon...which I do believe helps. I sat there feeling upset, depressed, anxious, and wanting to leave!!! Of course, that's not allowed!!! I felt this way for at least the last hour and a half of the 4 1/2 hour rehearsal. Luckily my mood improved over the day today.
thanks for your comments, even though i have not been able to comment on your entries as much within the last couple of days!
I may even update later more!
Goodnight all!
I was hoping for another 1200 day, but I guess lack of sleep and already having a few low days wasn't going to help me get another today! It looks like I'll be needing about 3 more days of 1500. I can't think about eating only 1200 anytime soon again...for the time being!
goodnight!
__________________________________________--------
WI points: none. this is the least I have exercised in months!
total cal: 1735.
edit: calories so far: 1445. It's only 5pm...and I have rehearsal till 10:15pm. I don't plan on eating anything there and hopefully I will not get too hungry. I would like to just come home and then go to bed...without a snack. Otherwise, calories may go up to another hundred or so.
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today I had a VERY large breakfast...i couldn't sleep well last night and woke up early in the morning. I resorted to food for fear I wouldn't be able to get through the day?! hmmm. but, the rest of the day has been ok. I'm trying to take a little nap before my rehearsal...so that i can come home late and still make it through the day tomorrow...and evening, when i have another rehearsal!
Large breakfast = 840 cal.
I'm still working off of last saturdays "master binge!"
I hope your rehearsal went well!
WI points. none. not enough time, really.
calories: 1095. ahh, practically 1100.
goodnight everyone....thanks for the continued support!
WI points: 2...I made sure I got in 30 minutes...and I jogged for 20 of those minutes...and it was outside!!!! ahhh, spring...although it was just below 50 degrees! LOL!
calories: 1040. I ate very healthy, actually. calories are just fine for the moment! haha.
goodnight!
WI points yesterday - 2, today - 0. I have too many things to do right now...and working out isn't one of them.... :( I wish it was!
WorkingIt, I appreciate all of the feedback and comments you have given me...they have been VERY encouraging and helpful. i do not get offended easily...and never on this site. I am open to all commentary and feedback because all of it is helpful in some way!!! That's why I joined this site.
I must have been a little depressed...my job situation and all. hopefully things will turn around soon! until then, everything's a little rocky. I spent much of the day sunday in bed. recooperating from last week! I got REALLY tired out!
last night i ended my calories at 1940. I'll have to work real hard to fix things this week!
calories today will be 1100. I was trying for 1000, but that's just not gonna work today!
thank you to EVERYONE who left a comment for me yesterday and the day before. Everything you said was extremely helpful. I may be on here less this week, as my schedule is not the most relaxed!
goodnight, all!
Also, another reason, for me, is concern for my health. You mentioned once that you were worried about becoming diabetic. Well, I remember now what made me think that it was happening to me. Sometimes I would get headaches after eating a huge amount (mostly carbohydrates). Also I was diagnosed with a health condition which I think gets worse when I eat huge quantities of food. That might not be the case for you, but you know it can't be good for us to do this. As we get older it will be harder and harder for our bodies to cope with this gluttony! Not to mention the fact that psychologically I feel so much better about myself when I am in control of my diet.
Well, good luck with your hectic week ahead! It's reassuring to know that we are dealing with some of the same problems. Hopefully we can overcome them together!
Sunday: calories so far (11am): 1452. _____________________________________________________ WI points: none. total 4790
First edit: calories so far: 4550....that's a mistake, 4700. I forgot the yogurt. ____________________________________________________
for those of you who said, don't binge....well, i did! arg! ugh!
Breakfast: 2352 calories. this is calculated, everything was measured. It involved multitude of chocolates, nuts, powerbars, peanut butter, and cereal, yogurt, an apple, sugar free syrup, all bran, tofu, soy milk...
my goal for the day is to not go over 3350. thats about 1000 calories to spare. I have learned to realize its best not too limit myself too much the rest of the day after a binge.
But-cant beat yourself up, keep on keeeping on....one day at a time!
Happy Saturday!
I must say, at least you choose healthy foods. It wasn't like me with the Fat Housewife attack a couple of days ago (ice cream, Girl Scout cookies, graham crackers with peanut butter - oof!).
I agree with your approach not to limit yourself on calories for the rest of the day. It just sets you up for a vicious cycle. I hope the rest of the day improves for you.
Call the school district on Monday about the job!!
Have you heard back from the school yet? I guess not - it's Sunday! Maybe tomorrow...
I am supportive of you. Very. If I didn't care, I wouldn't post in your journal! =)
****hugs**** I hope you are having a better day today and that whatever it is that you are going through, settles down soon. You are a vivacious, kind, friendly, and dedicated individual who always takes time for others and you deserve to be happy, healthy, and know you are not alone.
WI Points: none, busy day. i could have exercised, but I chose to do some "cooking." more like just boiling shirataki noodles for future eating (and I had a couple packages tonight as well!).
Foods: sugar free syrup, apple, yogurt, tofu, egg, egg white, egg, tofu, carrot, tomato, girl scout cookies, yogurt, 100 cal balance bar, 2 pkgs kelp noodles, plum, large pickle, shirataki with spray dressing, more shirataki noodles, chicken noodle soup - a change of pace!, tostitos tortilla chips, bran with soy, cottage cheese flavored with pineapple.
total cal: 1770.
goodnight. calories could definitely have been lower, but I had the bran and cottage cheese late after rehearsal!
......no phone calls from the school district where i interviewed...definitely beginning to think that its a no-go. at least i know i did very well!!! :)
update on calories later.
Every interview you go on is a success, because you learn so much about the process and about yourself. It is great practice for the next time. I know that it usually takes me 3 or 4 job interviews before I do well and get offered a job.
just an update before bed...I will comment on all of your diaries tomorrow...
WI points: none. not enough time to exercise the full 30 min. only did 10...which is better than nothing!
total calories: 1395.
two day average cal: 1788. perhaps a little high, since there hasn't been much exercise on my part these past two days!
goodnight all! I'm looking foward to some yoga and catching up on my weekend!
Edit: WI Points: NONE. i decided to take another day off. I'm glad I got the exercise in yesterday!
Calories: 2180. some mini candy bars were definitely involved! its alright, and far better than 2500 two days ago!
goodnight.
My interview went really well, but I know there are a lot of candidates. One good thing is the the chairperson said he would be contacting me maybe tomorrow. That sounds assuring, because usually they don't say they will be contacting you so soon! They job is defnitely EXACTLY what I am looking for! We'll see.
Food has been pretty good.
another update later tonight.
Breakfast: 2plums, tofu, fiber one and soy milk 290
Snack: Protein Bar, tea with milk, pink lemonade diet snapple 180
Lunch: carrots, tomato, tofu 160
Snack: kombucha, tea with milk, protein bar, light yogurt: 260
total so far: 890
well, today is 1000 calories. 2 day average: 1750.
2 workingit points today (none yesterday).
I'm trying to get to bed tonight early, so i'm ready for my interview in the morning. then, I'm off to work and then a rehearsal later in the evening tomorrow.
thanks for all your comments, i'll update you perhaps on the situation. I appreciate them, and will try to do them....as for talking to my sister, the situation is too volatile at the moment...but i will attempt to talk later in the week?! have a great day/evening.
i'll catch up more tomorrow.
goodnight!
I'm so sorry about your situation with your sister. How old is she anyway?! She is obviously the younger sister but she really doesn't act very mature. This must be a tough living situation for you. I don't really know why your sister can't be more grown up about this situation and talk to you about it instead of running to your parents all of the time and having everybody gang up on you!! I don't think at your age your parents need to be involved in whatever disagreement your sister and you have. I know there isn't much you can do about that though while your still living there.
I realize you can't move out right now but I hope you'll soon be able to work something out so that you can get out of the house. I can't believe your Dad would wake you up at 1:00 am and upset you when you have to get up and go to work in the morning!!! I definetly think there needs to be better communication in your house and people need to start being more respectful of one anothers needs.
I hope your interview goes well today!
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Can you belive this crazy weather???
borntocry on 03/17/2007:
Oh gosh, I'm sorry you had such a miserable rehearsal. Reminds me of those days when I go running and all of a sudden just fizzle out of energy and have to walk home! (In fact, I kind of feel like I'm going to have one of those days today!) I think you need to catch up on your sleep. I was in a severely sleep-deprived state yesterday and I could barely function. We shouldn't underestimate the importance of a good night's rest!
smiley2 on 03/17/2007:
Wow a hour and a half practice session, that is not for the faint hearted! I hope you guys get breaks inbetween, otherwise its enough to break any person psychologically!