so, if i really wanna date this 46 year old guy, or at least seem like a woman and not a little girl to him, i must try harder to control my actions in a more positive way. too many texts and expecting him to reply right back = i'll fail before i even have lunch again with him this friday....we are def in two different places in our lives right now, so, just something that's very apparent right now. plus, he def has two kids...now i wonder if any more? no clue what to discuss friday with him, but, that's a good start....if friday even happens. starting to be sick over this man because it's showing me how different our stages of life are even though it's only a 10 year difference. and he seems really comfortable and able to text back and just happy when it's convenient for him but i'm sorta silently suffering right now of my OWN DOING because first i'm not used to dating and secondly i'm def not used to dating older men!
i see i have several options and/or maybe 2 & 3 mixed together...why not.
1- cancel friday since he gets me very anxious / nervous (not sure if good or bad)
2- just stop texting him unless he texts me till then (kinda like i'm playing a game, but i have, HAVE,...MUST learn patience in texting
3- speak to him about it...this being new to me...i just might have to..it's gonna come out i just will not be able to stop it...i'll just have to bring up we are different places. sorry. not gonna feel comfortable till i do.
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kombucha but didn't work bc i ate a larger volume meal late at night...and it's the only large volume as of late so digestive system is a bit slow.. 50
breakfast: wrap 120, cream cheese 100, lox 80. 300 and coffee 50.
Snack: bar, not that good, but different. 230. cookies and cream flavor but colors weird.
Noon almonds, all healthy.
2pm Lunch: leftovers from work, free, premade salad mostly chicken/chips/avocado and some of my tofu. 600?
4pm snacks roasted salted almonds and half large orange, around 150 saying., teas with stevia hot at work
7pm pre workout: large apple, fiber one chocolate chip cookie 250 total here, then peanut butter 100 and an iced coffee all at home 50. 400
during workout: large coconut water, 170
After workout: TBD atkins coconut bar 170 :)
2300 :)
4day: 2130
there was traffic getting home and i took a late train so home just before 7pm...just relaxing before starting up a workout.
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I fixed phone thankfully and got it to show my typical phone number again and not the new temp #, so, just a workout tonight and no stopping at the T Mobile phone store...i can do this!
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Since i got up today i've been rather tired almost to the point of feeling under the weather...even with slight body aches...I may have to skip out on a workout tonight...although, i'm NOT sick yet, so, maybe i'll just push thrrough?
just my throat remains a bit "prickly" and slight body aches. no fever or cough. just very tired.
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
3:30am hunger pangs: Banana 120, Low cal herbal drink with stevia, lots of chips. 250. 400 total.
6:30am kombucha 50
8:30am & 10:30am BREAKFAST & snacks: pizza leftovers 400 / cabbage pancake from coworker 100. 500, almonds 50
Noon: Not a volumetric or filling Lunch: from home, lots of filling veggies & eggs, very hungry day over here at work, many cravings (pizza was a cruddy breakfast - it was the Oprah brand crust is regular but infused 1/3 with pureed cauliflower but overall nutrition isn't better than pizza at all so will not buy again!) went to a random meeting at lunch: half a turkey sandwich50 turkey, 200 bread, with a little cheese and chips 100. 350?-400?. no veggies but satisfying quantities and like half a diet coke, threw the rest out as it just leaves me feeling horrible from the caffeine and destroys my skin, so, that was a good move!
2:45pm Snack: balanced, natural type protein : bar 250...very hungry day...not gonna bring pizza again as my breakfast, that's for sure!
4:45pm: few almonds 50
2400 total. with a healthy ending of night and a small kit kat 2 piece size. good way to end the day, no bingeing, just a healthy way and a 3mi walk home. the whole dinner consisted of heavily roasted veggies, tofu, a wrap and the kit kat with really nice tonic only 30calories. filling and extremely satisfying, approx 600 cal dinner. I needed the veggies and health. instead of a protein bar and unsweetened almond milk.
PROUD OF A GOOD ENDING!
2075 3-day, very good!
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if goes to 2500; 3 day is still 2075....so, i know i'm hungry...dealing as best i can at end of workday...will try to take it easy tonight. maybe clean hamster cage. maybe walk home, but if i do, prob eat more :)
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Lately, my weight is nice, on the lower side, this could be adding to the "hunger pains" at night...last night only...really bad sleep and hunger in early morning around 3am...just not sleeping well....i'm sure tonight will be better :)
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
You woke up to hunger pangs? Wow! Well, weight-training will do that to a body -- especially since I know you lift heavy. What is your heaviest dumbbell weight that you have at home?
for the bicep curls, i don't use correct form at all. i use a modified posture that helps me lift and i do each arm in separate sets from the other arm with rest inbetween - meaning, i am at the heaviest possible before any injuries and slightly modified form (i don't recommend this, but it's a habit for me) on the bicep curls.
the other weights exercises i do are much lighter weights, ranging 10-15lbs.
just my pushups, biceps, and chest press are at the higher weights.
i also do 3 types of squats for lower body :) i use a #30 bar for the regular squats, but the other two types are only using body weight since i'm still having trouble with the number of reps on those are do not need to add any more weight, yet.
good point...i'll update it.
it was around 112.something...but i know it'll go up a hair once i start eating more volume meals...lately not enough veggies.
Happy Sunday! The weather is quite warm around 40F which is very warm for January in NYC.
9am-10am: grapefruit and a kombucha 200
10:30am brunch at home: my last wrap in this apt! 120 with tuna salad 130? leftovers free from work :) mustard. 250 :), and tons of these veggie chips, much more than one serving. 300. 550 :), now, a nice stevia soda. i ordered two huge shipments of them on amazon insteaad of one, by accident, two deliveries just a week apart, so i'll be drinking well these next few weeks!
couple candies also and been drinking coconut water a big can since last night and will finish it during my workout later. 200.
1:30 Cookie 100..walked into diner to use bathroom and came out with a sample cookie hahaha..yup.
3pm back at home, walked around 2.5-3mi at the park, between errands.
3pm snack: two fiber one cookies (should have done a mix of with a protein bar, but oh well!) 240 and cold brew coffee 60. 300...50
....turns out i'll do a home workout as i'd rather be home now (3pm) and not venture out again until tomorrow morning. so i'll relax a bit, then start up a workout around 4pm.
throat feels a little prickly so sleep is important this week, including tonight!
snacks during workout: sorta wanna keep it to one banana and the already accounted for coconut water...120, candies
dinner: trying to save room for the frozen pepperoni Oprah Cauliflower crust pizza i bought...to eat all this week :) calories are a bit high on it, so it can't be eaten all in 1,2 or even 3 sittings. more like 4 meals with it :) per 4 big slices, it's 400 cal per slice which is a good amount - thinking maybe even to eat it for breakfast at work! 400. (plus a couple additional pepperoni off the other slices but not counting that lol), and will have a yogurt with cranberry preserves too. 150. 550.
2100, good!
2 day avg: 1900...excellent.
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I may try to go out for a small walk at the park, between errands. Gym is my plan for this evening. I prefer going out to it, rather than doing a home workout. I prefer to be in public and not home all day!! So, once laundry is done, i'll get a move on!
I will swing by the supermarket to pick up staples: eggs, fruit, avocado, veggies, wraps, couple yogurts since i still have some :)
I had no major plans this weekend which was good. I was able to walk to a nearby store around 1 mi away to get a new iphone which was necessary as my former one kept freezing and breaking down. :) so this is good!
Without major plans, i've been able to catch up on sleep and not rush around which was important to me for this weekend just coming back after a couple weeks away.
Soon i'll have to clean the bathroom tub a little bit...also the hamster cage, but, all in all, everything is back to the routine here!
Lastly, i haven't driven my car in about 3 weeks, so it's important i do some driving today! another reason i might as well go to the supermarket, i'll go to one which needs a drive there and takes still only around 10-15 minutes to get to...good for the car, too, to be driving it! It's a good thing i replaced my car battery this year - i am pretty sure my car is fine and will start up :)
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I Slept in till about 8:30am, could have kept on sleeping since i'm still feeling tired, but i got up and got my laundry outta the way! And, lucky for me, the laundry room was basically empty so it was a breeze. now everything is drying :) so glad my laundry is done. It wasn't even that much. I'm very back on top of things and pretty much back to the grind, since getting back home last Tuesday :) I cannot even believe i've already been home almost a week since then! Time flies!
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
It's so cold here that I'm keeping the curtains drawn to keep out the coldness, rather than letting in the sun. And it's going to get even colder by Wednesday. Ridiculous.
So enjoy getting out and running errands :)
if it were that cold here, i'd have different priorities, indeed. even my neighbor agreed to get out and take advantage of this new york "warmth"
i could def take some more heat right now!
the park was nice at 40, but very Windy. so i had to bundle up!
By being home, you can clean up easily and get to bed earlier.
Sunday plans:
1. drive (use car after around 3 weeks of no use!!!) to supermarket for veggies, avocado, fruit, eggs, and wraps!
2. gym
3. laundry
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Woke up around 10:30, still a little groggy, but i slept around 12 hours :) and that is wonderful! i was really lacking on sleep the last half week of my Florida stay and also didn't sleep much the past couple nights, so, i'm happy logging in more hours this weekend. It helps prevent any colds from forming. I can totally tell when i'm getting run down and sleep is what that dr has ordered! :)
10:301st snack: granola bar chocolate and nut bar 150
11:30 2nd meal: drinks - bang no caffeine amino sour heads drink, also an iced coffee from fridge with little milk 50, two of my "honey egg cake" breakfasts from freezer nicely heated up tasted like an egg cake breakfast 200 at most, small slices.
Noon lunch: lox and cream cheese on a wrap 300, banana oat granola bar 100candy 50
5:30pm dinner: seaweed salad 150 that i bought at a takeout place while leaving supermarket, pint of cherry tomatoes 50, then leftovers some fried rice little bit 100, some indian saag 100 maybe a hair more, leftover indian bindhi with light veggie noodles 100...total here: 500...maybe a fruit :) dessert of yogurt and cranberries 200. all with stevia.
1550...gonna do some reading & bed early. low cal day, too :)
7:45pm snack: fiber one chewy chocolate chip cookie :) yum! 120
1700 total today :) excellent. just some reading and early to bed :)
I was gonna do laundry, but, have decided to do it tomorrow morning and just go to bed majorly early again tonight since i'm still a tad tired. glad i got the phone taken care of - iphone xr. lowest amount of memory which is 64gb ...way better than my old iphone 5c which only had 14gb!
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my iphone 5C hasn't been working right for the past few months because it's old and has horrible storage. I was paying on my parent's plan also and they are eager for me to move off it....which makes full sense for me at 36 years old to do!
Today i'm walking over to nearby Tmobile where i'll subscribe to a new iphone and phone plan. There's plans for $0 down and then 36 months payment plan of around $20 per month for new iphone X. that's my plan to get today. and i will sign up obviously with Tmobile, moving off my parent's Verizon plan. I'm glad Tmobile is in walking distance, very close, so i'll be going over there in the early afternoon after i shower & clean up a little around here. That's the big plan for today.
I hope that by Feb 1st, i have the new iphone and tmobile plan.
my iphone 5c is so old that some apps are not compatible with it, since the 5c cannot be update anymore to the newest iOS update, i couldn't even use the app to get into Rosie's appt in Florida and instead of my phone, i had to use a manual key. I'm saying some apps don't even work on my outdated iphone 5c. Additionally, the phone freezes everyday on me. It's time, i've waited as long as possible, for an upgrade :) At least it's no money down, so no big $200-$300 payment today. Thankfully! So this is a SUPER plus!
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I'm Super Thankful to those people who suggested that i freeze all leftovers so i have food to come back to after staying in FL for two weeks! so happy! tons of leftovers that i'm loving right now! I even have soup frozen so i really don't have to cook this weekend if i do not want to - but, i do have a Corned Beef that will expire soon if i do not make it, so, i plan to put it in the crock pot later today or tomorrow! I'm just so happy i have so many options in my freezer / fridge now that i don't have to buy anything right now except produce of fruit/veggies/eggs/wraps! nicely done for this trip! Thank you to Donkey, BCGG and everyone who suggested i save all food! And my friend Christine who's not here on DD!
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Also glad to hear that you took care of your phone situation. You've definitely waited long enough. We all recently switched to Sprint to save us money. We had Verizon, which I *love* but it was just too darn expensive. Kind of like cable -- love it, but just too expensive to justify spending THAT much money on something like that. Much happier with streaming and antenna TV.
So if I ever win the lottery, I'm moving to a modest ranch in a warmer climate, but I'll have cable TV and Verizon phone service - LOL!!!
KOMBUCHA 50
wrap and cream cheese and lox 300, coffee 50, 1 Chocolate. 80.
10am snack bar 200 "no cow blueberry cobbler" not in love with the brand but a good change of pace...and a little extra coffee...
Lunch: moderate piece of salmon 300?, veggie salad small 50, roasted cauliflower 150 and other veggies 50. 550, later candies 60.
3:30PM CHIPS / COFFEE 100
Snacks: almonds, orange...chocolate 150, one more coconut thing 60
Dinner: leftovers from lunch..200, clementine and apple 100, popcorn 150. 450 :)
2050
7 day: around 2090, very successful and with a 3mi walk today :) in the very cold, could have used some hand warmers tonight for the walk!
Lunch date went really well. turns out he's only 46. only 10 years older than me which is a slight miracle. I like a 10 yr difference, it's pretty perfect. He's nice and easy to talk to. Very easy going man. Originally from Kansas! A redhead. Divorced with older daughter in college. I'd date him again, yeah... :-)
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Noon: i have a "lunch date" with someone from the union that i know. he's been wanting to have lunch with me for around 3-4 months. lol. i told him we could do it after i get back from vacation :)...we're going to the usual buffet i go to...where i'll indulge in warm food and veggies :)
Weather is good tonight to do my walk home from the subway station. As long as i'm feeling good, i'll walk the 3 miles home, then planning on eating something,then sleeping early. i might take a sleeping pill. i plan to sleep a lot into Saturday as i'm looking to rest. As of late, I do not take a sleeping pill more than 1x per week. I'll lessen it as i get back into NYC swing. right now though, i'm def tired and overtired, so, i'm looking forward to sleeping a lot tomorrow...
I have few plans this weekend other than a food shopping, taking note of what's in my freezer and defrosting some things for next week...I also may cook another corned beef that's frozen in my freezer and freeze it / eat it next week & month.
I don't have much to buy at the supermarket: eggs, avocados, veggies & fruit. i even have some yogurt in my fridge to last me one more week.
i'm trying to be budget friendly thru the end of this month and thru March.
Low key is how i'd like the Winter to go.
I am traveling to France end of April. Until then, I'm looking to get into my weights more.
My workout was WEAK last night...but, that only means i have tons of room for improvement, right!?
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
I don't have any plans this weekend, and with the cold, may not do much of anything outside, which means plenty of time to do keto baking inside! Looking to try 90-second keto bread and make a fatdough pizza for dinner too.
Frugality, weights -- sounds good to me!
i'm also going to be relaxing a lot of this weekend. Frugality, weights it is! Cheers!
I cannot wait to just sleep as i know any less sleep would make me start to get sick :) and i will not be wanting that!
Tomorrow's weather will be sunny enough for a nice walk home, quite possibly the full 3mi, from the subway so no bus...really trying to keep the improvements on my legs and body. pushups were a mess tonight...but, moving forward :)
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Happy Short Week for me, Happy thursday already!
Kombucha 70
Breakfast: wrap and cream cheese with lox 300 :) and coffee 50.
Snack: some kinda bar i have :) atkins cookie dough flavor very very nice. newish flavor 220 and 3 candies 60..280, ALMONDS 50
Lunch: from home! leftover garlic mashed cauliflower 100, SMALL VEGGIE SALAD W. DRESSING LEFTOVER FROM DAD :) 50 few fresh smallish peppers 50, leftover turkey burger !! 100?, CHIPS 150 :) nice. 450 approx.
snack: - almonds 50 and HALF clementine, half apple (shared them) 150 total here.
snack before exercise: 3 cookies (a package_) 180 and coffee 50...for sure. 250, lox 50
During exercise: need to pick up coconut water 100, mentos 50, cauliflower cheese crackers 130
exercise took approx 3 hours with breaks....so, yeah....i started at 8pm and ending around 11pm...late night. plus going on a "lunch date" tomorrow....hmmm...gonna be tired :(...don't wanna wear makeup tho?!
After exercise: - maybe cooked cranberries and yogurt...OR one of my nice light ice creams! ...the latter sounds more my style for tonight! haven't had ice cream in a long time...craved it on my florida trip but chose not to buy it as to be very simple at her house (besides all my kombuchas in the fridge, lol). Cliff Bar..260
2200. not the most satisfying night but i'm done eating. also, i must begin exercise earlier than 8pm during the week...but tonight i'm just glad i got it in :)
6day: 2100, excellent
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The last workout i did was only a week ago, Thursday night. So, I'm very on track by only taking a week off. I am very happy about this as well as getting a workout in tonight. I will be a little tired, but, with it being a short week it's easy to motivate myself to do it tonight. Then, on Sunday, i can do my next workout anytime that day. :-) Everything is going pretty smoothly getting back into the swing of things.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Nice to see that you are back on track already, and here's to a great rest of the short work-week!!
Yes, happy to be home because 2 weeks is a pretty long vacation and life is not supposed to be that way. We work to get the vacation :) I understand that and i'm thankful i had that chance to go away for such a nice, long time.
Other than being sleepy with a hoarse voice from talking lots of smoking hookah ...i'm very good.
Part of my PLANNING of this trip was so it would be easier to leave for it and come back from it with a short week leading into it and coming out of it in terms of the work week.
I will most probably plan all trips while i'm at this company based on midweek flights to save money but also to make a short week leading into vacation and a short week coming home from vacation. this helped GREATLY.
Happy Wednesday, short week, back to work !!!!!!!! Happy to be here and not fired or anything! LOL~~~~ soon catching up on your diaries....after i get back into the swing of things here and at home!
Kombucha just a hair less than 50 cal
breakfast wrap and cream cheese and lox 300, coffee 50
atkins coconut chocolate bar, few raisinets 250, ALMONDS 50
1PM lunch - didn't bring it...will eat heavy on the veggies. hot meal from nearby buffet. Sauteed eggplant thing 200, with nasty mushrooms, roasted brussel sprouts, cucumbers, 100, turkey hot nice and fresh 150. . and apple 100. 550.
2:30pm Snack: chocolate and coffee 150
4:30: couple candies, some salt and vinegar almonds 100
dinner, 6:30-7pm: egg/egg white/small pepper: 100, popcorn 150, mashed garlic cauliflower from Bird's Eye frozen food 100, clementine 50. total 400. and a Zevia drink Grapefruit Citrus. extra Vitamin C...going to have to load up i think on Vitamin C.
total today 1900
5day: 2080 - quite excellent.
no extra exercise today other than walking to and from public transportation and some walking at lunch. still recoveering from last couple days in Florida.
I want to do my weights routine tomorrow night...i will try to push it to happen since then it's already friday and then the weekend! :)
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Plan for tonight is to sleep early (feeling very tired since i didn't sleep much on my last weekend in Florida!). last night i was able to fully unpack and clean up. and tonight still i need rest. Tomorrow i'm planning my first weights session since last Thursday night. So i took a week off :)
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someone ate most of my gum and almonds, lol. at least everything else is here - def not upset lol :-) just happy to be here. Coming back to my supervisor, i see how effective and intelligent she is...glad she's my supervisor holy mackeral!
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Kombucha 50, wrap and egg 200, pepperoni 150, mustard, coffee 50
cheezits 100 and pop chips 150. 250
salad 150, pasta too much like 2 cups 400, pulled pork 250. 800
yogurt and cranberries with stevia 200, protein bar later on 200.
1900 total.
2125 4-day avg.
Leaving Miami now - boarding in 5 min! Landing in NYC at 2pm :-)
I promise to get back to reading all your entries soon, the last 3 days have been a whirlwind! :)
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
i am eager to get back to reading your diaries, starting where i left off ;)
800
ice cream and Rice Krispie treats 250
candies 50
Lots of Chinese veggies 200, chicken teriyaki 350, rice 250
cookies 200
2100
2200 per 3 day avg
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Kombucha 100
wrap with egg salami mustard turkey 300
iced coffee extra soy milk latte 150, fried cheesy bread 350, chicken teriyaki 250
2 cookies 200
rice 100 onions sautéed 50 part of crab cake 100 cheese salad 100banana 150
1850
2000
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Enjoy the warmth while you can....
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I'd talk to him about the texting thing, but not too much. Some folks aren't big on the whole texting thing. I find this so true at my job, except the other way around. Unfortunately, I do not have an office cell office and I refuse to use my personal phone. So you either have to answer my calls or check your emails every day.
Anyway, just see what his take on texting is and then pull way back on your expectations. Like some of my clients, he might prefer to call/talk.
Give this a chance. Please don't blow that might have possibilities for YOU just because of a miscommunication.
good advice, thank you.
also, i just know he's had a lot of experiences i haven't had - a previous marriage, kids..a career...
so i'm not sure if it's worth even pursuing since what can he see in me aside from youth?
however, it would be good to just delve into it - and realizing at this moment that i shouldn't stress it - just as he's not stressing it. to be me. and not really care too much about this rest of it. i suddenly feel so much better after writing this last part to you!
i think i've figured it out a little bit.
that if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. and to not give it any more thoughts right now, especially any negative ones :)
Donkey on 01/30/2019:
^^ Yes, this 100%. See you figured it out all by yourself. Just relax and enjoy the company. Live in the moment with this.
I'm not sure what your hesitation is with the age difference, because Ricky was much older than 10 years' difference, wasn't he?
I wouldn't let the fact that this guy (I'll call him Red) has had more experiences -- or should I say, different experiences -- in life than you have. Who is to say where YOU will be in 10 years? Ya know, we're all on a journey in this life, and what's nice about forming relationships with other people -- like even here! -- is that you get to hear about other people's adventures on their life-trip: what they've learned, what they've seen and done. IDK, I think it's kind of exciting, myself.
You've got this - now just enjoy :)