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Horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 16, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

Edit: saturday: I've done everything in my power to eat so that I am satisfied and full...especially because yesterday was such a low cal day. I did end up getting quite hungry after i cleaned the ice off my car.

so far: egg and apple for breakfast...4 cups of bran cereal with 2 cups of soy milk (this all equalled two bowls of bran) and followed by a cup of pineapple flavored cottage cheese.

total cal - 950.

I would like to eat up to around 1750 today. that would be the goal.


WI points: ZERO...

995 cal. not easy! not again tomorrow, don't worry!

i woke up and was surprisinly not as hungry as I thought I'd be. I think eating right before bed did the trick last evening! I stuck to just an egg and an apple for breakfast. Later, a snack of another hard-boiled egg midmorning. I was very hungry, more than usual, by lunch. It was low cal, carrots, tomato and tofu.

My rehearsal tonight is cancelled due to the "ice" storm. Its terrible weather out there! I'm glad, because i'm just vegging out...next week will be busy and certainly next weekend! I have a much to be desired break here! I hope to use it wisely...and not binge and ruin it for myself.

I am trying to have a very low calorie day...because I wanted to somewhat even out my calories in seven days based on last Saturday's 4790 day...which has been on my mind a lot this week. somewhat obsessed, i suppose.

last night at rehearsal, i was having an AWEFUL time. at first, I was trying really hard and actually enjoying playing the music that was sounding nice coming out of my horn! however, all of a sudden i felt i wasn't doing well...and lost ALL momentum. I was spent, drained, from lack of sleep all week...although I did lie down in my bed for about 10 minutes that afternoon...which I do believe helps. I sat there feeling upset, depressed, anxious, and wanting to leave!!! Of course, that's not allowed!!! I felt this way for at least the last hour and a half of the 4 1/2 hour rehearsal. Luckily my mood improved over the day today.

thanks for your comments, even though i have not been able to comment on your entries as much within the last couple of days!

I may even update later more!

Goodnight all!

sasyredneckgirl on 03/16/2007:
Can you belive this crazy weather???

borntocry on 03/17/2007:
Oh gosh, I'm sorry you had such a miserable rehearsal. Reminds me of those days when I go running and all of a sudden just fizzle out of energy and have to walk home! (In fact, I kind of feel like I'm going to have one of those days today!) I think you need to catch up on your sleep. I was in a severely sleep-deprived state yesterday and I could barely function. We shouldn't underestimate the importance of a good night's rest!

smiley2 on 03/17/2007:
Wow a hour and a half practice session, that is not for the faint hearted! I hope you guys get breaks inbetween, otherwise its enough to break any person psychologically!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 15, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

I was hoping for another 1200 day, but I guess lack of sleep and already having a few low days wasn't going to help me get another today! It looks like I'll be needing about 3 more days of 1500. I can't think about eating only 1200 anytime soon again...for the time being!



WI points: none. this is the least I have exercised in months!

total cal: 1735.

edit: calories so far: 1445. It's only 5pm...and I have rehearsal till 10:15pm. I don't plan on eating anything there and hopefully I will not get too hungry. I would like to just come home and then go to bed...without a snack. Otherwise, calories may go up to another hundred or so.


today I had a VERY large breakfast...i couldn't sleep well last night and woke up early in the morning. I resorted to food for fear I wouldn't be able to get through the day?! hmmm. but, the rest of the day has been ok. I'm trying to take a little nap before my rehearsal...so that i can come home late and still make it through the day tomorrow...and evening, when i have another rehearsal!

Large breakfast = 840 cal.

I'm still working off of last saturdays "master binge!"

monet0239 on 03/15/2007:
just a quick hello hun.. have a great rehearsal :)

Justine6Robert3 on 03/15/2007:
It must be frustrating for you to want to exercise but you are so busy right now!! I'm sure your burning alot of calories just running around all of the time and being on your feet!! Take care and make sure your getting enough sleep. We all know being tired seems to make us eat more!

I hope your rehearsal went well!

borntocry on 03/16/2007:
I think you're doing the right thing - I also shift my calorie limit up to 1500 or even 1800 if I think I need to. No point setting yourself up for failure!

WorkingIt2 on 03/16/2007:
1200 calories a day is so difficult sometimes! I hope you get some good rest soon..I know it is difficult, but you've also been much busier this month!

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 14, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI points. none. not enough time, really.

calories: 1095. ahh, practically 1100.

goodnight everyone....thanks for the continued support!

WorkingIt2 on 03/14/2007:
Great day with the calories!!! You are on your feet most of the day aren't you? That burns way more calories in your day than I do at mine sitting at my desk! Have a great evening, rest well!

Donkey on 03/15/2007:
I"m glad that you're still able to check in here. Good for you for running yesterday (I'm sorry I did not comment yesterday)!! You are doing well, it seems. Keeping busy seems to agree with you :)

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 13, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI points: 2...I made sure I got in 30 minutes...and I jogged for 20 of those minutes...and it was outside!!!! ahhh, spring...although it was just below 50 degrees! LOL!

calories: 1040. I ate very healthy, actually. calories are just fine for the moment! haha.


WorkingIt2 on 03/13/2007:
OH HOORAY!!! YAY! I am happy for you that you had a great day! the weather was just fantastic!

smiley2 on 03/14/2007:
I also love jogging, especially outside. I have found that depression leads me to bingeing, dont know if its the same for you..

borntocry on 03/14/2007:
Well, great! I'm glad at least one of us has gotten back on track!!

greengirl on 03/14/2007:
Well done HOP. A good day for you!!! How nice to be able to get some exercise outdoors. Make the most of the nice weather :)

hollybelle on 03/14/2007:
YEA! Good day!

tourguidebarbie on 03/14/2007:
I think this weather is helping everyone! Congrats!

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Mar 12, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI points yesterday - 2, today - 0. I have too many things to do right now...and working out isn't one of them.... :( I wish it was!

WorkingIt, I appreciate all of the feedback and comments you have given me...they have been VERY encouraging and helpful. i do not get offended easily...and never on this site. I am open to all commentary and feedback because all of it is helpful in some way!!! That's why I joined this site.

I must have been a little depressed...my job situation and all. hopefully things will turn around soon! until then, everything's a little rocky. I spent much of the day sunday in bed. recooperating from last week! I got REALLY tired out!

last night i ended my calories at 1940. I'll have to work real hard to fix things this week!

calories today will be 1100. I was trying for 1000, but that's just not gonna work today!

thank you to EVERYONE who left a comment for me yesterday and the day before. Everything you said was extremely helpful. I may be on here less this week, as my schedule is not the most relaxed!

goodnight, all!

greengirl on 03/12/2007:
I hope things go well for you soon. You are so good about supporting everyone else, you deserve all the support you get back. Its understandable that you are a little down with your job situation, but something will come along for you soon. Keep your chin up:)

Umpqua on 03/12/2007:
I'm sorry you've been having a rough time recently, and that I haven't been able to comment on your diary as much as I'd like. Just wanted you to know I think you're doing a great job and I'm sure you'll get right back on track.

Donkey on 03/12/2007:
I hope everything is OK! I'm thinking of you! :) I know the job thing is tough. Believe me, I have been there many many times. And in dire times, too, when I really needed a job, and it didn't work out. Do not despair; it all resolves itself as long as you keep trying! You can do it!

WorkingIt2 on 03/12/2007:
Oh I am so happy to see you here again!!! (((((((((Horn)))))))))) I was so worried about you! And you sure are missed around here when you are gone! I have my fingers crossed for you!

borntocry on 03/13/2007:
Hi HoP! I'm also going to be trying to "fix things" this week. Hope we can do it! You're right, one of my reasons for wanting to binge less is that it's so hard to make up for them afterwards. For instance, by my calculations I have a 3400 calorie surplus after last weekend - it will take 11 days at 1200 calories to make up for that! It's just not worth it.

Also, another reason, for me, is concern for my health. You mentioned once that you were worried about becoming diabetic. Well, I remember now what made me think that it was happening to me. Sometimes I would get headaches after eating a huge amount (mostly carbohydrates). Also I was diagnosed with a health condition which I think gets worse when I eat huge quantities of food. That might not be the case for you, but you know it can't be good for us to do this. As we get older it will be harder and harder for our bodies to cope with this gluttony! Not to mention the fact that psychologically I feel so much better about myself when I am in control of my diet.

Well, good luck with your hectic week ahead! It's reassuring to know that we are dealing with some of the same problems. Hopefully we can overcome them together!

tourguidebarbie on 03/13/2007:
Hey you! I hope you start to feel better! Sorry that things have been so stressful for you lately, but things can only be bad for so long right? Good luck on everything!

weightlossyoyo on 03/13/2007:
Hope things get better for you! Calories were great today, you are on the right track.

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Mar 10, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

Sunday: calories so far (11am): 1452. _____________________________________________________ WI points: none. total 4790

First edit: calories so far: 4550....that's a mistake, 4700. I forgot the yogurt. ____________________________________________________

for those of you who said, don't binge....well, i did! arg! ugh!

Breakfast: 2352 calories. this is calculated, everything was measured. It involved multitude of chocolates, nuts, powerbars, peanut butter, and cereal, yogurt, an apple, sugar free syrup, all bran, tofu, soy milk...

my goal for the day is to not go over 3350. thats about 1000 calories to spare. I have learned to realize its best not too limit myself too much the rest of the day after a binge.

justgonnadoit on 03/10/2007:
ahh the binges. Its not a question of "if" I will its when. I am hoping I dont. I am hoping I can bypass the whole B word.

But-cant beat yourself up, keep on keeeping on....one day at a time!

Happy Saturday!

WorkingIt2 on 03/10/2007:
I really like the sugar free syrup, in fact, last night I had Eggo pancakes with sugar free syrup and then some grated dark chocolate from 3 hersheys kisses and I was all set to kill off my sugar craving lol. And GREAT JOB on sticking with a 1770 calorie day with Girl Scout Cookies!! Holy smokes if I had them anywhere in the house I'd eat an entire box in one day!

Donkey on 03/10/2007:
Now how did I know that this was going to happen? Been there so many times, done that too many times. It's over; move forward. Bingeing solves nothing.

I must say, at least you choose healthy foods. It wasn't like me with the Fat Housewife attack a couple of days ago (ice cream, Girl Scout cookies, graham crackers with peanut butter - oof!).

I agree with your approach not to limit yourself on calories for the rest of the day. It just sets you up for a vicious cycle. I hope the rest of the day improves for you.

Call the school district on Monday about the job!!

borntocry on 03/10/2007:
God, that binge sounds incredible. Next time you should invite me over - we can split the food (and the calories)!!

borntocry on 03/11/2007:
Hey, I think I also have binge-eating disorder, you know. But I think there is hope for us! In the past couple of years my binges have gotten much fewer and further between. And where they were once up around 6000 calories, now they rarely go over 3000-3500 (still really high, I know - but an improvement). So hang in there - we can beat this together!

Have you heard back from the school yet? I guess not - it's Sunday! Maybe tomorrow...

WorkingIt2 on 03/11/2007:
Happy Sunday to you! I wasn't bagging on you. You had asked me specifically before for my opinion and I reached out, took a chance and gave it to you with the best of intentions in mind. You have stated a few times that you feel you have a binge disorder and that you were looking for help, and you had even researched information as to possible causes that you were thinking of going to the doctor to be tested for. If I reach out to you during the good times, I'm not going to stop reaching out when you are having bad times. By all means, continue to vent and post your personal things...pretty much all of us do =) Of course you are safe here, that is the beauty of reaching out to people from the safety of the computer =)

I am supportive of you. Very. If I didn't care, I wouldn't post in your journal! =)

****hugs**** I hope you are having a better day today and that whatever it is that you are going through, settles down soon. You are a vivacious, kind, friendly, and dedicated individual who always takes time for others and you deserve to be happy, healthy, and know you are not alone.

GG on 03/11/2007:
my goodness you must have been hungry! you know what though, i think counting calories drives everyone nuts so on the days that you go over board you shouldnt count the calories and just promise yourself to slow down and think about what you eat next time.

Runner on 03/11/2007:
One thing that helps me when I feel like bingeing is to brush my teeth...for about 3 minutes. Then the last thing I want to do is eat after my mouth is all minty fresh! :)

Horn_of_plenty - Friday Mar 09, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

WI Points: none, busy day. i could have exercised, but I chose to do some "cooking." more like just boiling shirataki noodles for future eating (and I had a couple packages tonight as well!).

Foods: sugar free syrup, apple, yogurt, tofu, egg, egg white, egg, tofu, carrot, tomato, girl scout cookies, yogurt, 100 cal balance bar, 2 pkgs kelp noodles, plum, large pickle, shirataki with spray dressing, more shirataki noodles, chicken noodle soup - a change of pace!, tostitos tortilla chips, bran with soy, cottage cheese flavored with pineapple.

total cal: 1770.

goodnight. calories could definitely have been lower, but I had the bran and cottage cheese late after rehearsal!

......no phone calls from the school district where i interviewed...definitely beginning to think that its a no-go. at least i know i did very well!!! :)

update on calories later.

Donkey on 03/09/2007:
You should have called this afternoon. But no matter, you can call on Monday or Tuesday. Call and say you are calling to see if they have selected a candidate for the position of <whatever>. Until then, there is nothing you can do about it, so you might as well put it behind you and try to forget about it. (Don't EAT because it weighs heavily on your mind!!!)

Every interview you go on is a success, because you learn so much about the process and about yourself. It is great practice for the next time. I know that it usually takes me 3 or 4 job interviews before I do well and get offered a job.

monet0239 on 03/09/2007:
Hang in there toots.. if you dont get this one.. a better one will come along..:).. have faith !.. hugs

leeumom on 03/10/2007:
Keep up the good work. Sometimes it takes a week to get back to you. At that time, I would call to just follow up to see if they'd made a decision yet. They owe you that much, as you took your time to do the interview.

WorkingIt2 on 03/12/2007:
((((((Horn)))))))))) Just wanted to let you know I was thinkin' about you today and wishing you the best!

Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Mar 08, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

just an update before bed...I will comment on all of your diaries tomorrow...

WI points: none. not enough time to exercise the full 30 min. only did 10...which is better than nothing!

total calories: 1395.

two day average cal: 1788. perhaps a little high, since there hasn't been much exercise on my part these past two days!

goodnight all! I'm looking foward to some yoga and catching up on my weekend!

greengirl on 03/09/2007:
Your average is not so bad. Try and get some relaxation in this weekend. You deserve it :)

Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Mar 07, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

Edit: WI Points: NONE. i decided to take another day off. I'm glad I got the exercise in yesterday!

Calories: 2180. some mini candy bars were definitely involved! its alright, and far better than 2500 two days ago!


My interview went really well, but I know there are a lot of candidates. One good thing is the the chairperson said he would be contacting me maybe tomorrow. That sounds assuring, because usually they don't say they will be contacting you so soon! They job is defnitely EXACTLY what I am looking for! We'll see.

Food has been pretty good.

another update later tonight.

Breakfast: 2plums, tofu, fiber one and soy milk 290

Snack: Protein Bar, tea with milk, pink lemonade diet snapple 180

Lunch: carrots, tomato, tofu 160

Snack: kombucha, tea with milk, protein bar, light yogurt: 260

total so far: 890

greengirl on 03/07/2007:
I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you. You deserve a good job!! Good day so far :)

WorkingIt2 on 03/07/2007:
How fantastic that they are going to call so soon! I'll keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer for you tonight! Those mini candy bars can be very addictive!

Donkey on 03/07/2007:
I think you did alright, even with the candy bars. I myself had Girl Scout cookies tonight (hence my higher calorie level). I do hope that they contact you soon. Nothing worse than waiting. It sounds to me like they want to fill the position quickly. Make sure you send a thank you note to your interviewer ASAP!

borntocry on 03/08/2007:
Oh, I hope you get the job!

sweetpea1977 on 03/08/2007:
Im keeping my fingers crossed for you!

monet0239 on 03/08/2007:
good luck on the job hun.. :).. hugs

Justine6Robert3 on 03/08/2007:
I'm clearly loosing my mind a little today! Just so you know, I left you a comment but somehow I put it on your entry from yesturday!

Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Mar 06, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

well, today is 1000 calories. 2 day average: 1750.

2 workingit points today (none yesterday).

I'm trying to get to bed tonight early, so i'm ready for my interview in the morning. then, I'm off to work and then a rehearsal later in the evening tomorrow.

thanks for all your comments, i'll update you perhaps on the situation. I appreciate them, and will try to do them....as for talking to my sister, the situation is too volatile at the moment...but i will attempt to talk later in the week?! have a great day/evening.

i'll catch up more tomorrow.


sharklover on 03/06/2007:
Good luck with the interview!

Donkey on 03/06/2007:
Good luck!!!! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow morning!

weightlossyoyo on 03/07/2007:
Hope your interview goes well!

Justine6Robert3 on 03/08/2007:
Your so right, I do need to eat vegatables!! You left me all of those great ideas, now I just have to start trying some of them out. I really dislike the veggies and my already picky ways make it hard for me to force myself to start trying things out. I know my diet is lacking and they are very good for me. I will work on this. I have to go grocery shopping soon so I'll have to keep you in mind while I'm there. I so wish I enjoyed them like you do, I vow to buy at least one new veggie to try on my next trip to the grocery store!!!

I'm so sorry about your situation with your sister. How old is she anyway?! She is obviously the younger sister but she really doesn't act very mature. This must be a tough living situation for you. I don't really know why your sister can't be more grown up about this situation and talk to you about it instead of running to your parents all of the time and having everybody gang up on you!! I don't think at your age your parents need to be involved in whatever disagreement your sister and you have. I know there isn't much you can do about that though while your still living there.

I realize you can't move out right now but I hope you'll soon be able to work something out so that you can get out of the house. I can't believe your Dad would wake you up at 1:00 am and upset you when you have to get up and go to work in the morning!!! I definetly think there needs to be better communication in your house and people need to start being more respectful of one anothers needs.

I hope your interview goes well today!

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