NEED MAJOR ADVICE on how to deal with my issue at work with new coworker that just moved into my office but i'm actually her friend around 4-5 years and have actually hung out socially with her:
2 comments she joked and was sarcastic about, and i will NOT be taking that sh*t all the time:
1. "You are cold because you need to do more work - if you worked a little more you wouldn't be so cold"
2. "Why you heading home now !? You have no kids at home waiting for you..." (when i left at my standard time)
Her words are soooooo uncalled for. I would NEVER make comments like that towards anyone, tho it's better she say it to me instead of about me. I may just let her keep on saying things and let someone else call her out on it, actually. I think she does it so that she can feel better about herself, being moved into a new office (she's very new to everything just like i was a couple months ago) and she probably is feeling threatened and is needing to act all "macho" and aggressive is my guess (she's VERY aggressive - her body is more man than woman - not being mean i'm just saying this is DEFINITELY the scenario - i can smell it...) so maybe i'll just be easy on her, though, her language to me has got me in a tizzy.
She's around 42 and with myself being 35, it is SO DISRESPECTFUL to make condescending jokes on anyone let alone at work telling me in front of my other coworkers that
1. i am not a good worker
2. i should stay late bc i don't have KIDS / not married!
well let me tell you something, how darn rude that second comment is - i dealt SO MUCH with this when i first started working and if anyone EVER tells me that i cannot go home at my normal time or comments like all bc i am single i should stay....OH...there will be some balls or breasts to freaking smack. well...let me tell you, i used to work HOURS AND HOURS of OT and got sick FROM IT..literally sick and out of work a month...nobody will EVER tell me i cannot leave at my scheduled time bc i have no kids...let alone another woman who cherishes finally her freedom. She needs to cool it with me - she cannot continue this. i had a lot of male bosses previously who were keen to say, "oh, well, you don't have kids so you can stay..." this is not cool on any level with me bc of past comments. i'm going to watch to see if she keeps going....bc she cannot say these things with my permission.
she's actually divorced WITHOUT full custody of her son bc she chose to pay child support bc she wants the freedom to be able to do some of the hobbies and things that she wants, including teaching an apprentice class. good stuff. she has also written an autobiographical type of book. but, don't you see how her saying a comment that i shouldn't get to leave makes no sense!? i could tell her such cruel things...about her deciding it's ok to not even have her kid live with her during the week...! like, she needs to stop with me. i will not say that to her, but i swear i'm gonna put an end to it.
about this woman, i said earlier she's actually a friend (not a close one). she likes to party way harder than me and drink and eat more. I prefer not to hang with her socially late and drinking as it does nothing good for me....but i have done a few social things with her. and she actually invited me to her bbq which means i'd have to sleep over as it's over 2 hours away so it'd be a weekend big deal...i was eager to go, but this scenario makes me think it over, this situation of her two comments today leave me with a VERY SOUR taste in my mouth.
How would you deal with her?
I'll tell her I'll leave at my scheduled time when i want to leave at my scheduled time and i don't answer to her.!!!!!!!!!!! i'll have to say it. i'm not taking her words again, especially in front of others.
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kombucha. 80...
stomach is very messed up due to loads of tasty veggies last night..i hope it'll fix itself by tomorrow morning.
1050 -1100 cal after lunch...healthy food...skipped morning snack..
zone protein bar, coffee
1 candy
Olive flavor really tasty chips, pumpernickel wrap with 1/4 lg avocado and an egg with salt and garlic, sweet small fresh peppers
pieces of chocolate, very little bit
must eat healthier later, my tongue feels like everything's either too salty or sweet.
1100 so far, healthy day...
Before gym: will have a wrap with lox and cream cheese i think.
__ 1600 after subway flatbread roast beef sandwich
1900 TOTAL EXCELLENT
4 DAY AVG: 2115, better.
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For some reason, maybe i need less sleep lately i don't know!? probably i do need it...but i told my coworker i'd come a half hour early tomorrow...so i guess i'm just having difficulty balancing work and home right nnow and relaxing...idk...but for the past 3 nights i'm constantly waking up - tho - the two nights before this one there was some caffeine in the mix, so this i'm SURE is lingering sleep effects!
I've been able to work OT and i plan to come 2 hours late to work on Friday instead of taking the day fully off...I'll save the day to use later in the summer, most probably. I want to sleep in a little bit on Friday bc i'm going to a concert that night. So instead of getting up at like 6, i'll be able to sleep in till like 7:30-8. works for me.
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
very poor sleep ...had a snack around 9pm: apricot and black pepper popcorn 200 max
Kombucha 100
Breakfast 2 candies and coffee 100
wrap 80, avocado 100, egg 80, potato 100: 360.
snack: pistachios approx 100
lunch: from home - def do NOT need to buy food this week...tons of extra fresh veg back in my fridge :) burger 200 with avocado 100 in a wrap 100, peppers. 500 tops, and an awesome candy from Colombia. milky coconut flavor.
stayed a little late so having candies., also coffee. 150. stayed late so exercise was a nice long walk home by getting off bus 1.5mi early & bought cooked veggies along the way!!
dinner: apricot and ice cream a little over 200, very small amount potatoes 100, tons of veggies, sauce slightly oily 400. total 700
2250, good.
3day: 2185
before bike/walk/jog: tbd thinking a rice krispie treat ? or pb on an apple??
8PM dinner: tbd :)possibly more burger in a wrap with avocado or mashed cauliflower... large apricot, cleaning hamster cage...then eating veggies...or veggies before i clean cage, actually!!!!!!!!!!! GOT HOME AT 8PM BUT HAD NO IDEA TILL I CHECKED THE TIME! its so nice and sunny out!
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yesterday i was so lazy at home, no exercise, after i saw my friend. ended up emotional eating a little bit....tonight i am eager to exercise again....in my head i know i can improve a LOT if i PRACTICE!
despite horrible eating yesterday due to just being lazy / tired / bored - i haven't really been gaining weight lately or it's been too slow a gain to notice since i have been watching my cals and not still increasing them...it's just a really slow decrease...as i'm happy to be able to eat more right now...eat what i enjoy...not feel deprived...not really gain weight so fast or noticeable...i guess it's the cardio that i should do, then!...........
i keep forgetting that if i add cardio, my weight will manage itself...this is fully what happened last summer - it was awesome. i could basically eat what i wanted and even i think 2200 cals didn't put pounds on !!!!!
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
someone at work, a really nice female coworker, has me inspired. she is always exercising and walking. she's around 45. great shape. lots of leg muscle.
Breakfast: an apricot and blueberries 150, wrap 80 with Indian spread of veggies medium amount 150, small beef burger 200, cup of kombucha 40. 650.
Small health bar 100 Lunch salad with a little dressing 50, edamame 100, Diet Coke, veggies and shrimp with ginger 350 and rice 100, tastes of chicken 50...650 I
ce cream 300 Mini protein bar 100, 5% fat Greek yogurt with strvia and cinnamon 200 2050. And a wrap with pb 200
2250
2day 2150 today I relaxed no exercise
Didn't go to bed until 12:30 bc I was high on caffeine and full after working out and dinner at 10 lol...But workout was good and I slept until 7:30-8. I might clean my closets briefly this am and throw out clothes I don't wear :) bc having too many clothes means they are get wrinkles in the closet bc the clothes are packed in too tightly !
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
Instead of throwing away your clothes, please consider donating them or even dropping them off to a resale shop. Let your fashion live through others :-)
Also feels so good finding old office shirts that are quite nice. i found a lot of black blouses that work great for NYC office styles....i def have SO MANY shirts, only thing i need to buy are a few more office dresses.
:)...slept in till 9.
wrap 60, egg 80, 1/4 big avocado 100, indian curry cauli/potato mix lg serving 150...400 followed by a plum and kombucha...500 :)
snacks 250 :), coffee, other snack, small bites of cake :)
2pm awesome lunch: i broiled up small hamburgers (almost causing a fire! wth does hamburger meat always sizzle so much from all the fat!?) 200, in a wrap with bite of avocado 100, and indian veggies in curry sauce 100: 400 yum...will have fruit for dessert...another plum i think :) 450 total.
snack before gym: fiber 1 cookie :)
And a bit of a monster energy drink and an oikos chocolate fat free yogurt (it wasn't good)120 1450
After gym: Another slider size beef burger these r great 200 in wrap 60 with Indian veggies 140 1850 and a little ice cream 160 but man was it nice to eat well after the gym and it's 10pm ! I'll be up late reading a little and wake up late tomorrow
total today was 2010...very happy and not deprived at all today in terms of food. wow.
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full plans:
i met ricky to get his car detailed or something at the car wash, but both were cold that we went to bc of the cool weather and chance of rain! i didn't tell him, but there was one open by the supermarket i went to - it's out of the way and he needs a ride back...so i wasn't driving back there later today (there and back is 40 minutes and i'm not doing that 2x today).
laundry - machines were practically empty so this is GOOD! trying new lavender scented dryer sheets by Mrs. Meyers - needed a change of pace!!
get pedicure done - beach weather / sandal weather :) ...YES it's happening bc i did good with all my errands, cooked burgers, laundry almost done by 3pm...so i will get my toes done indeed!...everyone who wears sandles in NYC for work practically gets their toes done...and i don't mind reading a book while they do my toes :)
food shopping - 2 places...YES...the first was a huge supermarket that i had these bottle redemption slips to give them since last time the line was too long for me to wait...the veggies and fruit was the worst selection i have seen!...supermarket is near my old gym so i will not go back again any time soon!...second place had a sale on kombucha, so i got double the amount and they'll last and i will not have to worry about buying them for a couple weeks if i want to wait! all is good...got enough food for awhile now!
gym - this will be in the late afternoon as last thursday it was def around 6 or even 7 that i went, i like to wait around 48hrs btn workouts :)
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my jog isn't getting worse but not really better bc lately it's still once a week bc of my class...it's still tiring to run even a 1/4 mi...i have a lot of improvement but also know that with full practice 2-3x per week i will improve...
i'm happy i got everything done today...and beach plans have been cancelled due to not being beach weather tomorrow. good thing is we still have plans!
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
kombucha type drink but a new Mint flavor 50
wrap 120, egg 80, and my favorite spinach saag 150-200. total 400. coffee 50.
snack: almonds 100
Lunch: leftovers - Indian veg 250, matzah 120, some jackfruit 100. 550.
i have a grapefuit for later 50. and had a diet coke....
3pm and almonds 100, coffee 50, a Zone Perfect Nutrition bar - deciding to eat more now at work and less before i jog...i plan on fruit / bar mix before jogging later
food today has been delicious and filling, although i ate it really FAST at lunch bc it was uncomfortable as i'm here with only 1 out of 5 coworkers all morning, and it's hard to read her - she's not very friendly so i don't feel comfortable chatting with her as i don't know her well or if i can trust her at all.
Before jogging: a wrap 60 with veggies 200 tops and i should buy some deli meat i'm thinking for some protein...or i can just eat some tofu at home that i have - yeah! should be around 500 tops.
after jog: ice cream 320. tops
2320, fine
7day is ok: 2110
bike to park and back 15min, and 1 mile 20 min of walk/jog. good exercise :)
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
but the ice cream is staying for now.
It would never occur to me to make pops out of yogurt. I too prefer the chocolate or nut flavors, but every once in a while a fruit flavor is a nice change.
same here, i LOVE alternating tastes and get bored when always having the same thing...so sometimes i too buy fruit flavors in my light ice cream too.
i will not be making yogurt though. and today i had an Oikos chocolate fat free, 120 cals and decent on the sugar - tasty not that great! i will not buy more after i finish the other one! def not a decadent taste. i also bought Fage 5%!!! they had no 4% and also the 2% as the calories are better and 2% still tastes great.
wrap 120, egg 80, avocado 160, salt and pepper, coffee 50 400...craving for a chocolate i was given it's from russia and so good...it's milk chocolate surrounding a soft, juicy sugared prune! just very good. 100 tops.
snack: 150, sf lollipop
lunch: Lunch was a change of pace, all new tastes, mostly vegetarian..leftover squid 100 or less cals, roasted Brussel sprouts mixed with cranberries and some light cheese amazing 200?, roasted cauliflower/grains with yellow raisons and just awesome flavor 150-200, oh and cucumbers in a tasty marinade 100? Restaurant was called The Little Beat. Big apple for dessert 150. Total cals: 750.
snack cherry tomatoes 50, almond cookie in chocolate 150...cravings today.....not really hungry, just snacky!!!!!!..today will be a higher cal day, 2250.
before gym: wrap 60 at home with turkey 50 and stewed veggies/beans250 probably and plum 400 total.
after gym: ice cream ? or maybe something smaller. 200 protein bar. peanut butter chocolate flavor from powerbar i think is was
2200
6day: 2075 - good.
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sore throat is still a thing.
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
KOMBUCHA 100
COFFEE 50, wrap 120, egg 80, salt/pepper/garlic, avocado half 160.
snack: almonds...200
Lunch: jackfruit 100 mixed into the rest of the Indian food 200-250 i have from Monday, yellow cherry tomatoes 50...400 grapefruit 100. 500. Japanese food. more protein - some chicken and squid 250, crab salad 50, salad with dressing 50, grapefruit 50. 450.-500, coffee
snack before class: small protein bar 100
dinner: veggies israeli prepared big portion 150-200...in wrap 120 with smoked turkey 50...fiber 1 cookie 120..500. small icecream 100. 600 :)
plum 50
2000 :)
5day = 2060 = A+ !!
short 20 min walk after dinner, bed early after.
throat still sore.
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
What is the texture? Does it taste similar to anything else?
yes i do bet they cut up the one that was there.
Jackfruit has a bland flavor and needs to be in a dish that has a lot of flavor...It looks like meat. It's consistency is smooth texture similar to a cooked fish like salmon or tuna (but softer than tuna). I have only tasted prepared and flavored Jackfruit. It's good to mix with any sauce...not marinate, because that's too thin a flavor for it..it needs a thick sauce or food with it...you could put it in stuffed peppers instead of meat and with maybe some CHEESE...
Jackfruit might be good in a thick stew. I like using it and coating it with Indian sauces. Or a curry would be good with Jackfruit added in.
It's VERY fibrous. It may make you gassy or bloated but has extremely low calories. Less calories than most fruits, actually. Slightly higher cals than a veggie. It's not unhealthy and you can get it canned at many stores. Maybe drain it and rinse slightly to remove some of the salt mixture it's probably stored in...
Lately, i took a break from meat for a little bit at lunch this week and had the jackfruit instead...but protein is important so i made sure to eat some at dinner, otherwise i start to crave it....
it's just a great food to add into a thick dish...it lowers the cals...it would be good in a casserole...just a little bit of it, instead of meat...it's good maybe in a burrito form, just a little though..it could maybe work in a rice dish too. it's not a stand alone food, but addition to a meal / dish. :)
kombucha, didn't do the job bc i ate dinner too late around 8pm 80
Zone bar and coffee 230
not in a mood to eat my wrap - has too much fiber/spread in it. 120, tons of eggplant spread 200, egg 80, 440.
Lunch: ? stuck with all the excellent food i haVe here - jackfruit 100, palak (spinach saag) 200, some potato and cauliflower not much 100, grapefruit 100. 500 :) healthy. just low protein. craving protein a little bit. craving caffeine too. I'll make decaf if it's there. 50. and almonds 50
Before gym: Wrap back at my apt :) 500 turkey in wrap with veggies and 2 plums
After gym: thinking ice cream...350
2200, GOOD.
4DAY: 2075
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One of my coworkers has a fitbit and is doing a challenge...she had to get 14000 steps in (around 7mi!) AND SHE DID IT! seems that i need to realize that i MUST keep improving on my leg strength as well as continue by jogging practice...or i should seriously forget about the Court Office Academy right now...so, i am reminding myself and all of you that anything is possible, but you have to DO THE THING that you want to improve on. I don't have the same goal to walk that many steps as my coworker, but i do have a goal to improve and that means to FIND THE TIME to jog during the week which will be MUCH EASIER when my class ends, next week on Friday. The class totally made it harder to exercise by having a scheduled class each week, one day. Not complaining, just saying i need my sleep lol and rest....
and that i do plan to make progress in the summer, and not just let it be any type of washout...my goal is to be back to jogging 2mi at the end of this summer just like last summer...and in Winter, i WILL continue exercise this year. My plan is NOT to take anymore classes that last more than one session (day) for the rest of 2018.
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Woke up a little nauseous and with a sore throat today...i know it's from the salt tub hour soak last night. I wasn't breathing well and holding my breath at times so then i started to tell myself to breath deeply. An hour was WAYYYY too long in that floating tub, i'll tell you that. i hope the sore throat goes away in a couple days.
I left 10min late so i was 10min late to work. very crappy of me...
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Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
as long as the tub is somewhat clean....i'll be doing it more as my tub is clean now :)
never again like what i did last night tho.
also, i did wake up with bloated fingers and stuff...i guess i had a lot of salt last night.
Monday:
1 am Chips 150
kombucha 100
coffee 50, wrap and egg 200 with saag 150. 400.
snack: mix of pistachios and almonds 200
lunch: orange color cherry tomatoes from farmer's market yesterday and yellow pepper 100, i think meat free and just trying this curry jackfruit 50, some indian tasty prepared eggplant (it was blended, and i ate it like soup - so so so good, such good flavor, like a blended eggplant with light olive oil light soup with many flavors.). 200.
snacks: almonds 100. drink 100
dinner: will be healthy, natural, lower sugar. it was all veggies in a wrap, but some veggies - eggplant - were fried but not breaded...and rather large servings of the veggies, most were marinated in oil (again, eggplant, different type...) wrap was 120, veggies the fried eggplant around 200, marinated eggplant in oil around 300 max and a little touboulle salad 100 tops. total here: 720.
2100 today...slightly high, but very nutritious. though high.
3day: 2035, good!
planning to watch my movie The Color Purple tonight :) no extra exercise aside from getting of bus a hair early on way home and some walking at lunch. legs still sore from horseback. alll is good :)
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I arrived a full half hour late due to construction, not making up the time because i had a half hour extra bc of all the time i've done extra since Friday. good deal. i may have to leave early the next few mornings..
got a groupon to soak in a mineral salt bath for an hour after work today...good for sore muscles and leg tightness...a coworker tried it and liked it, so i'm going after work today.
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
oh, interestingly, they have SALT caves...i immediately thought of you!!!!!!! your salt lamps!
i'll be doing an hour of floating. it's a bit pricey, but the groupon saved me 50%
Good Morning :)
i'll catch up with your entries when i'm doing laundry...was invited by Ricky to go to farmstand :) vendors set up the food/products they bring at a local park every weekend until late Fall... :)
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Besides a diet Snapple at beach, yesterday was healthy. I estimated 2200 or so but could be less, not sure. i didn't bring my own snacks, so was eating what was around...dinner was so healthy at my parents! unlimited veggies was good because i ate small portions of everything else. :)
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Now on to today:
8:30 am Breakfast: saag on a wrap extra saag, 400, almonds 120. Coffee while out 80. 600.
11am: Pickles with nice garlic flavor at farmer's market 50, and the soursop fruit online says 150 cals for a cup of pulp and at most i had 2 cups from that fruit (i think it was slightly smaller than average soursop). 300 cals. at least it is healthy, right? i didn't think the other half the fruit would last in the fridge, so i just decided to enjoy it..., also enjoying a light sparkling coconut water drink 25 cals...
1pm lunch: wrap 60, deli turkey meat 40, leftover indian veggies mostly baby carrots with oil 150, leftover saag (indian spinach tho i think they made this one with oil, no cream and i like it better than the other restaurant). 150. total here: 400, healthy.
2:30 with laundry done now, strawberries 50...and off to gym for an early afternoon session :)...i'll def be home around or before 6pm. will pick up avocados and store them in my gym locker lol so they don't sit out in my hot car in this over 90 degree weather :)
1450...
120 fiber one cookie and 180 protein bar and a ol 50
1800 total.
2day 2000
after i finish laundry, i plan to do a little reading, then gym, then supermarket (which i might just skip until tomorrow after work), since i'm really rather enjoying being home today & not running around with errands.
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I had a SOURSOP in my fridge sine early last week. It's a fruit i had found in the supermarket that i never tasted. It's very sweet and tasty. It's high cal, so i had kept putting it off to eat the whole thing, so had it when i got back from the farmer's market. I was looking to eat something very natural...and light. Fruit is light...lol. i had a bunch of fresh pickles so this sweet taste was good after that!
11am: soursop fruit (the whole thing bc each half was the size of a cup but some parts are inedible like all the seeds which are like the size of sunflower seeds and also the spine inside is not edible. it tasted like a sweet shake. it's a thick fruit, not watery, but silky smooth texture, and a dense light white kind of color. not watery. it's like having a margarita or mixed drink without the alcohol sort of flavor..and the pickles at the fair along with some very small tastings of a small piece of bread with garlic oil and also smallest bite of a piece of a chip with salsa. emphasis on SMALL :)
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Ricky invited me also to go to eat later and be by a concert (not attned, but hear from the outside) that starts at 8pm only 10 minutes away...i'm going to turn him down bc i want today to be ultra relaxed, not rushing later tonight...and i want gym & still have laundry...not in the mood to rush, so gonna do my own thing :)
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Gym a bit later - but i'll lay low on legs as they are sore.
Maybe watch the movie I borrowed from the library - the color purple....great movie but I haven't seen it. That's it. Def gotta do laundry - still I don't prefer doing it during the week (would open up the weekends to doing much more, but honestly i don't think i mind sitting around a little bit!....
- so that must be why laundry remains on weekends. also, it just makes one more weeknight rather busy...if i had laundry in my apt, which i may consider later on, it would be done during the week. but since i go downstairs, and must take out clothes in a much more timely manner from the washer, i do prefer laundry on weekend...ok enough about laundry!
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While with family last night having dinner, we discussed a very strange topic. hopefully this doesn't offend anyone...i cannot even write what i want to write bc it's wayyyyy to weird for the internet. basically, my sister is pregnant with a boy. and she was saying that my mom cannot ever touch it's private parts even once when she's wiping it like bc it's something she never saw herself and of course NOT TO PLAY duh, i mean just to see what it's like on a baby...and not to play!!!!!!!! that would be freaking screwed up i KNOW! anyways, i sided on the very liberal side on this issue. saying if it was one time, and OBVISOULY NOT FOR ANY EVER TYPE OF PLEASURE ASPECT duh!!!!!!!!!, it wouldn't be the biggest deal. i'm not talking throughout the whole time the baby is a baby. i'm talking one time. and not a prolonged time....
...i told you it's a very strange issue.
anyways, i sided with the fact that overall it's not a big deal with a basically newborn and like just for overall knowledge and that's it. and no biggie...and forget about it as it's just not a major deal or anything wrong to anyone even the baby. i didn't bring this topic up, my pregnant sister did saying she knew my mom would want to do that...and i sided with my mom. and my dad get furiously mad...like to the max screaming at me and accusing me of being one of those folks that could get in trouble for things related to that nature but not the same as this example.
overall my family is very type A and if someone has any different view or opinion or even if i do something in public like say anything (and i mean anything not major deal issues i mean say a word wrong! or use wrong grammer, anything!) it becomes a fight. i don't have patience for it all the time. my dad was yelling at me since horseback riding in the morning...eventually i had enoug of my whole family acting like jerks overall...
my sister's bf was driving my mom's car home from the beach and driving it like an A$$hole... on purpose. my sister telling him to stop being an A$$. it's funny he gets away with everything. my sister's husband constantly trying to get me in trouble with my parents - he's VERY good at playing into family dynamics and it is SO ANNOYING.
if i were dating anyone, i'd be scared to introduce him at this time to my family as they don't know how to cool it with me. it's constantly, "let's teach her what's wrong and right..."...i'm 35! it gets annoying...teaching me lessons in public all the time!? come on! i'm not 5.
anyways, i had enough, so i abruptly got up from the dining room table where we were eating, sister, husband, dad and mom...i stormed around to get my things...my dad came over and continued yelling at me not to leave...i considered it by going to my room....and decided i wasn't listening to more of the same or doing what anyone wanted...and i left and drove home with my dad still yelling and windows of the house open as i went to my car to drive home.
once in my car, i felt relief...there ended up being loads of traffic so i actually took an exit and drove in the opposite direciton of my apt for around 15 minutes...before getting off another exit to another road to actually go home.
i guess i'm happy to lay here on the couch today. relax right now, before starting the day.
i wished my dad a happy father's day by text as we celebrated yesterday. i'll prob try to see him during the week since he works by me, and drop off his card and small gift - a white top for the beach. i forgot everything bc i was rushing yesterday morning to leave my place at 9am...and i was just rushing. so since i'm not seeing him today, i'll have to drop his stuff off to him during the week hopefully which he'd like...as long as he's at the office...he works in many locations.
Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
Again, from my experience, I could never have an encounter like that with my grandmother (now deceased) and recover from it. She was a very toxic, angry person who, while professing to be a firm follower of Christ, held a grudge forever, unforgiving, and even somewhat vengeful.
Relationships are complicated. I wish you a quiet and relaxing day today :-)
also one of the workers there was a young woman attending college and working there at the horse stable part time. i was asking her questions as she was speaking and my dad actually told me in front of her to stop...she and I looked at him in disbelief for a second...bc what he did isn't right i don't think with me being 35. he went on to tell me this is what my sister doesn't like about me...that i don't let people finish what they're saying before i ask them a question. he may be right i am sure a bit, but, how embarassing to do this to me in public all the time. it's like, just shut up already, you are not in charge of me and everything i say out loud, get a life, and let me handle myself.
at he beach, he did the same. he was asking me why i said certain things to a male friend of his / friend of the family we saw there with his family. i was talkng about a class i was taking, how it stated in the manual that we are a republic, not a democracy...i was speaking to this other man about this stuff because he's a lawyer who happens to be involved in voting registration and getting more people out to vote, etc. my dad asked why i would discuss that with him...and i said it's because he does stuff exactly related to the class, so he'd be the BEST person to share this stuff with! duh! it's annoying that everything i say needs to be questioned, most of the time. my mom is EVEN WORSE. she'll point at me to tell me a point, with her index finger like i'm 5. she'll look at me and tell me to stop talking or watch what i'm saying.
and then, when i am at work, i'm completely nervous to say anything and act like a moron at this job where i'm currently at i'm the most paranoid i've been in a long while! and now i see why.
so my dad was angry about how i acted, like i did it purposely to hold my horse back yeah right! in the morning for like 10 minutes he was completely acting all annoyed with me. ...
...and then for like 5 minutes in the evening he started to get so utterly upset telling me i dare not say another word...when we were discussing if it's right to touch a boy baby's private parts...like just to see what they are like when they are so small as a basically newborn - not as it grows up or anything of that nature. that was the main gist of it last night...i still retain my view that it's ok one time just for the adult knowledge and i don't care if others disagree. i know i'm not a freak.
my relationship with my dad will handle it, but more and more it is very obvious to me that i cannot spend long periods with my family and that it's wrong for them to treat me as a kid, always teaching me lessons rather than just conversing as adults. it's rather annoying and it's just part of our family dynamics: no discussions, just lessons. it's rather boring and dull and unsatisfying that my family is like this, rather than people who just like to converse and actually talk about things. i'd learn more if they were more easy going. both my dad and mom are not easy going people to any extent.
Please let me know if you would like me to delete what I said above. I would have except that you had already responded, and I wasn't sure if it would be polite to delete or OK to leave.
Yes, I see what you are saying that my family experience is not like yours. I was completely wrong to comment like that - even from my own perspective - because you are 100% right! I should really be more careful with bringing my own perspective into other people's situations. I'm sorry :-(
I still think that choosing your conversations carefully can be applicable to any situation, but then, what? You can't speak or ask questions ever? No, that's not right...
i never would want you to delete anything, i think you perspective has helped me so many times especially this one i'm glad i could talk about it with you here.
after all, i'm the "queen bee" of bringing my perspective into the comments on others' entries :) i enjoy your perspective and any examples of you bring into the comments. you did absolutely nothing wrong, you did me majorly right :) thank you !!
yes, i agree i still need to choose my conversations carefully or choose which of my opinions i should fight for, and which i should say and then stop :) i think i was ok to say it once last night, but bc i kept voicing it in contrast to the other side of the argument, everything flared up with nobody going to agree with the other side. it was my dad, sister, her husband against my mom and i in terms of opinions on that matter..
i think, regarding your final comments above, that i guess as adults it's important to carefully guage which situations i should stand up for myself in and which i should let slide.
with my sister being pregnant, i think she's more ready to fight than usual for how she feels. and regarding my dad, i guess i can point out to him that i can make my own thoughts up about things, lately i have to point it out bc it's unbearable with him, and otherwise, i'll have to work harder to let things slide..next time i will just keep my guard up..and be more prepared for these situations which are constant.
i think next time this happens, i'll just walk away from the table and sit downstairs in their house rather than leave the house. seeing people so upset is very upsetting to me...like seeing my dad's flaring temper is upsetting to me..so if it happens again, i'm not sure i could remain at the table yet. i may just have to stand up for myself...and when my dad yells at me, i'll have to start to tell him that i don't need any lessons? idk....i'll start to pick and choose more carefully. i guess.
Anyway, I hope you had a good Father's Day.
My mother is the embarrassing, she will go off on anyone at anytime in public. There were times, I would say, OK mom, we are going in here to do this, please don't yell at the people. I'm sorry you are treated this way, I say...BE YOU Girlie!
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A fitbit with sleep monitoring will tell you if you are getting enough sleep.
YES lately it's horrible...hamster has been extra loud lately...she's in heat...and her smell when i was petting her last night totally came off on me! really exotic musty smell! had to wash my hands well to get it off!
it's from too much caffeine.
bearcountrygg on 06/26/2018:
Olive flavored chips sound interesting.