Kombucha 50, later coffee 50
My coconut blondie 350..shoot forgot to add whipped cream 120!
Snack: TBD chocolate 150 and atkins bar 150
Lunch: more of my fave cabbage, a leftover egg, fries..up to 700
snack: an apple, green tea decaf
Walking home for most of the way i think, since the walk tomorrow i may not show up to if we have a Nor'Easter storm!...3mi walk home :)
Dinner at home: leftover indian spinach with oil 300 so good and Amy's microwave meal 400:-D
2350 frday avg.
7day: 2230, high cal week, but, i was seriously PMSing and indulging. :) at least it all tasted quite good.
Recap of last night:
My friend type relationship with R has plunged for the worst. Without going into detail bc it's just so stupid a situation, he threw a very light package at my feet because i didn't leave his apt lobby fast enough bc he wanted to speak with someone and i didn't oblige his command to get outta there...public humiliation and embarrassment aren't acceptable. this is one of the reasons i cannot date him. He's extremely unpredictable and i think he's bipolar. either way, i'm done with him for the time being....as it upset me so much that he'd ever embarass me, in public, in front of other people. not acceptable behavior. and i'm embarassed.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
kombucha 70
Breakfast: coconut blondie made by me keto style 300 with whipped cream 130...later almonds 50
Snack: coconut atkins 200
Lunch: my eggs 150, my buttered, baked cabbage with some broth and carrots, 250, goldfish crackers 150...550
Snack: apple?
Snack 2: coffee and bar..
banana and plum also during exercise 200
After exercise: raspberries leftover 50 and a healthy bar 230...around 300 :) choc ice cream 100
2050, perfect....
was major PMSing this week....glad it will pass soon! bc huge appetite!
6day avg: tbd when i feel like calculating...or looking back lol...2210.
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Tonight i have a planned weights routine, i will ride the bus all the way home, conserve all energy for weights...and be in bed when i can...because i have a full weekend with going to a bday party...and full week until around 2 weeks from now.
My friend type relationship with R has plunged for the worst. Without going into detail bc it's just so stupid a situation, he threw a very light package at my feet because i didn't leave his apt lobby fast enough bc he wanted to speak with someone and i didn't oblige his command to get outta there...public humiliation and embarrassment aren't acceptable. this is one of the reasons i cannot date him. He's extremely unpredictable and i think he's bipolar. either way, i'm done with him for the time being....as it upset me so much that he'd ever embarass me, in public, in front of other people. not acceptable behavior. and i'm embarassed.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
- i enjoy more music options now at home, without headphones...better for my ears and hearing. i have now subscribed to Itunes music for more listening options than just my Amazon music that was free but was getting old very fast as i've been listening to it for YEARS...Itunes apple music has newer and a larger variety :)
- I get distracted at home & if i do not concentrate, i forget what i'm up to (what # set, etc) and also snack more and have to watch that...at the gym, there's no option to walk to the fridge
- i like not having to drive after a workout or waste time in commuting to and from the gym :)
- i like being able to have a wide range of food to choose from when my workout is done, and perhaps saving money not stopping at 7-Eleven or convenience stores on way home
- i love not going out in the dark / out in the cold during the week
- i love opening the window and turning off my air for a nice cool space while working out at home - just as comfortable as the gym
- home is more convenient and even this week i'll have to do a home workout because my trips to the gym lately are on bike and require a lot of free time
- i reserve gym for weekends - especially when i have ample time to spend biking there :)
- gym is more motivating.
- my goals to not lose strength over the winter will keep me motivated 100% to do home workouts.
in the mornings, when i take the E train (not everyday, sometimes F train), there's 4 long staircases up from the E to the street level...i ALWAYS, even when legs are tired, take the steps and lately i RUN up them, getting VERY winded, but i do it!...i try so hard to challenge myself...to improve and be better than i was the day before.
to me, at 36 yrs old, i feel i STILL have the opportunity to improve physically...to make my body capable for a court officer postion (AND that position comes with room to grow & gain even better compensation after years / more education on that job!)...
i KNOW i wasn't meant to sit at a desk...but to work in a more "vibrant" environment...and it's my goal to get this opportunity for myself.
it's just sometimes a task that REQUIRES THOUGHT NOW...and REQUIRES MAKING CHANGES NOW...to make sure i am productively working on ways to MAKE IT HAPPEN...like exercising at home...
to become a court officer, it involves actively making changes on my LIFESTYLE NOW...in ways so my body adapts and changes ...so i can pass that court officer test & get thru the 3-4 month (short) academy...then, i'm good !!! this is my goal.
it's wayyyy more doable than the nypd cop thing was...it rests on my promise to myself...my ability to steer clear of distractions like friends wanting to hang out but when i have to skip a workout and myself making the choice of what i can do and what i should place as priority....give and take...
work doesn't leave me worrying about tasks to finish, etc....i can go to bed with a very relaxed mind as of late.
Kombucha 100
2 Small Cookies 150 and coffee 50
beef jerky or something. 100
10am coconut choc atkins 200
Almonds 100
1:30pm lunch: my slow cooked buttered cabbage melts in your mouth! 300 with some broth, carrots, 2 eggs 200, and chedder goldfish crackers 150: 650 and decaf green tea with stevia
huge apple 100-150
Light Dinner: totally not sure, but tired. maybe chilli in a wrap, saag, fruit
2200
____________________________________________
Boring uneventful day at work.
Conversations are boring. So i'm staying out of them.
Work is dull, but that's a GOOD THING...because i understand it and can do it...just time consuming, but that's also something i'm happy about.
But people...people are bothering me.
I'm starting to get more used to coworkers and we've all let down our guards somewhat and less being nice just because...meaning true colors coming out. not in a bad way, but people's personalities are getting slightly louder at times and also ingnorant comments are more noticable to me...and just other similar things which cause me to want to distance myself...and take care of myself before i'm stuck in this field forever...which my desire is to leave and still want to be a court officer, around 2 years from now...when the test comes out again. and that's why i talk of getting back into jogging training come Spring since time and weather is not going to work for jogging in Winter...i'll just get sick trying to fit it in / or injured.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
coworker tells me it has nitrates, i get so annoyed when people talk to me about what i eat...because i do MUCH more research on food than most people...and they do NOT usually give me any good advice...like this coworker, telling me that jerky has nitrates, but not knowing this one does NOT. UGH!!!!
good job ...i have a good brand that is jalepeno flavored.
outside it was very pleasant and active during lunch :)
kombucha at home 40
light breakfast sugary greens chocolate bar soooo good 280, coffee 50
9-10am almonds salt and vinegar for change of pace and a keto style bar i got in the store soooo good 230. 330., extra almonds 50
Lunch: my home made cabbage :) with...EGG / EGG WHITE ...AND MAYBE CHEEZE GOLDFISH CRACKERS...IN CAPS BECAUSE THEY'RE ON FOR A PROGRAM ON MY COMPUTER LOL..
LUNCH w/. coworkers was tasty : fries, salad/beans and dressing, turkey, avocado 650 and hopefully not more, coffee 50. 700
2250 cals = excellent, not a low cal week...hormones coming on!
4day avg:
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I AM SO PROUD BC LAST NIGHT I WALKED THE ENTIRE 3MI FROM SUBWAY STATION TO MY APT IN SNEAKERS! :) I SKIPPED THE BUS COMPLETELY! THIS IS HOW I'LL MANAGE WINTER CARDIO! RUNNING IS NOT PRIORITY - I WILL HAVE TIME IN FUTURE AND SPRINGTIME WILL ADD IT BACK REGULARLY.
There is simply not enough sunlight / hours in the day to add running with Winter approaching and turning the clocks back - running i have decided will not work out for Winter. I will push myself again in the spring and for winter i am simply working on maintaning my current weights routine / fitness levels and cardio endurance thru walking and other activity.
Winter is a tough season to "push it" and i realize that it's not a smart idea.
I'll wait till there's more daylight and it's easier to bike to the track and do the cardio again.
but for now, i'll DO CARDIO still, just walking and transfer it to bike / jog in spring when it's light out and i can get to the track safely and warmly.
for now, cardio will be done as early as possible in the workday, on my way home.
______________________________________________________________
home weights workout tonight, no extra walking & taking bus home no extra walk at all.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
GO FOR IT!
thanks J donk! it's really perfect and wearing sneakers helped me SO MUCH!
I'm not a fan of walking, but keep thinking that I need to do something to start moving again. Anything's better than nothing. And the dog would love it. Don't have any plans right now, so might as well get off my butt and go for a walk. Shoes, dog, and some earbuds......then I'm out the door.
music will help your walk. i hardly ever walk in silence...
lastly, one other thing i used to do even more on walks = call a friend / family member to catch up / talk...makes your walk speed by! i still call a friend, but not as much, mostly music now.
KOMBUCHA 60
BROWNIE LOW CARB 200 WITH WHIPPED CREAM 140 AND COFFEE 50.
SNACK BAR ATKINS PEANUT CARAMEL 130
APPLE CIDER DONUT 250, later almonds bc of course sugar isn't going to keep me satisfied for long lol!
Lunch: leftover indian food and tofu 200 cal tofu...indian food saag with cream 100 cal and veggies with oil 200 cal. 500 cal and trying to watch calories for rest of day... perhaps goldfish crackers 150, plum
snack fruit 50 plum
1650....
Dinner & early to bed:
2250...very good
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i have sneakers with me, i'll be walking home a lot from the train as i've been!
WALKED ENTIRE 3 MILES HOME FROM SUBWAY!!!!!! I wear sneakers now on commute:)
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
You've got a fantastic start to the week! Keep it up :)
Almost 8am Breakfast: leftover blondie that i baked 300 over whipped cream 120 and leftover pumpkin with stevia and cinnamon 50 and a plum 50. also kombucha 70. 600, good.
Indian bread and an egg 250
lunch: wrap with leftover indian groud chicken with lots of spices 400 and popcorn 100
Coffee and 2 bananas around workout 1650 before dinner
WOWWWW! so the soup was good - the cabbage was very buttery and good. the taste with the bacon would probably be better lol without bacon, but it was good still. so i had a bit of it...with a lot of cabbage like i've been craving
Cabbage and bacon soup: 350? and brownie that i baked (amazing winner!) 250.
i wish i could have more....but...maybe jello w. whipped cream. it was all good. and a plum, just hungry feeling.
2350 :)
today my food attemps worked out great.
2day - 2250, decent :)
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This weekend, despite waking up a few times last night but easily going back to sleep...i've been getting like 10-12 hours of sleep a night. seems the time of year for it. with lots of germs around...i don't mind the extra sleep, i like it!
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On the list today:
Baking 2 treats: a 5 ingredient brownie recipe made with coconut oil !....and something else...or perhaps just double up this easy recipe!
Cooking a Slow Cooker Cabbage and Bacon Recipe!
Biking to Gym and Weights
Put away all my clean clothes that i quickly washed yesterday (good idea to get that done!!!)
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Have been eating a decent amount of squash lately with Stevia and pumpkin pie spices. It's been satisfying my pumpkin pie cravings so far. Good job on your consistency, as always.
also, with the Indian, believe it or not since the country is sooooo big the Indian food varies as well as the "bread" or naan they serve at the restaurants based on the type of Indian food they serve...I think there's like 4 main types of Indian food!...just like Chinese really as more varieties :)
also, Happy had once taught me this here!
Some indian uses lots of cream in their food which tastes great but ups the calories and some indian food uses very little cream :) lately, i've been eating without the cream (i don't really have a choice, it's just the place that i found!) and it was at least a break from all that cream...they use just oil
yes, 6 hours is rough, i agree...even 7 can be not enough if you are warding off sickness....keep on and keep positive mrs. donkey...i'm so proud of you always!
i'm afraid to make it....but it'd save me so much $$$. not yet...first i'm delving into AMERICAN food that i can make! haha...def not interested to make Indian right now.
Fruit 100 , ginger drink 50
Oatmeal 200, coconut blondie 300, whipped cream small amount and pumpkin 100, coffee 50
Indian spread 150 with crackers 200 and an egg 100
lollipop 50
1300
Dinner Indian the type Happy told me about that isn't based with cream - biryani & chat style.
I had a ground meat dish 250 with okra 100 and stuffed baby eggplants 150 and heavier bread 200
2200 total really tasty cals
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Kombucha 50
whipped cream 120 with my homemade coconut dense blondie 350, coffee 50
snack: 180 coconut chocolate covered
750...
Lunch: leftovers (good ones) and a yellow pepper:
snack: plum?
1350 before dinner
dinner: tofu / indian takeout :)
2100 today.
good eats, good exercise, good week.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Kombucha 60
Work breakfast: apple 100, my keto coconut cake (needs tweeking on recipe but it's edible lol) 300, whipped cream 120, coffee 50
10am snack: nasty protein bar but finishing them as the nutrition is decent and i don't like to waste money & didn't want to return them...
Healthy lunch: takeout instead of my own lunch, lol...buffet choices: shrimp and calamari 250, veggie slaw salad 100 and some other veg 100: and bread almost forgot 100 550...
plum 50
Snacks granola bar 150 bigger banana 150 almonds 50 1800...
After workout - i did start snacking too much during workout and will hopefully get this under some control now that i'm working out at home :) ...first i started with a few bites of a Lenny & Larry's Choc Mint cookie but then stopped 150 cal...and then i was also heating up a Cauliflower Pizza Crust around 300.
2250 today. very tasty day!
6 day:2170, good!
nice walking in as well as a great weights workout. very successful, fitness-wise.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Kombucha 50
My homemade blondie 300...def need to work on recipe and whipped cream 120 and coffee 80
Snack:worst tasting bar....i have a whole box left :( i might have to throw them away. 200 cal.
Lunch: indian spinach 200 and other sauce 50, with turkey burger 150 and orange 100. 500 total.
chocolates 50
Snack: fresh apple off tree brought in by coworker...lol....same coworker that i had words with yesterday haha 100 when i get home and go walking for a little before dinner :)
Dinner:not sure, but healthy, ended up going out to eat, but walked a lot as we walked there after i got off bus near my apt. so it's all good. up to 800 it was Afgani food!...spinach similar to the indian prep but no cream which was healthier a still a good taste, a little meat, some salad with a little cheese, and a piece of tasty bread with light garlic flavor.
2200 total, all healhy.
5day: 2150
Walk tonight :)
Early to bed
___________________________________________________________________
No, this job and this industry will NOT work for me for life. No, I do not want to be held responsible to going to various union events because of my father and his being extremely active in it. And NO, i do not want to sit at a desk for life.
No, I KNOW i am better than this.
I am not done. I will become a fast runner and match my goals as I have wished.
This is my Winter of getting stronger :)
Yesterday, at work, reminded me of why I want to be better for myself and go to a place where I can work and not die at my desk from lack of blood flow...i'm exaggerating, but this is how i feel today.
similar to how donkey felt in the recent past, i am depressed today...sad for what i witnessed yesterday at work (below) and sad that as a teacher that i am not anymore...that anyone would dare take up with me any argument about bettering a child in music ed.
i'm quite sickened today over yesterday.
and i will be keeping to myself for the remainder of the week...as well as for the rest of the time i work here.
I'll be focusing on my own abilities...and also striving to leave work at my hour, 4:30pm and that's it.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
I am gonna start talking much less at work....as i realize i have opinions and it really doesn't matter anymore to share them...enough....because i may as well let others keep their opinions and not even try to explain my side ....
it's a weird discussion we had: MUSIC EDUCATION and when to give (free) lessons...when someone kindly offers to give your kid extra tips.
PERSONALLY, it's ME who offered.
and PERSONALLY, IF i were a parent and someone kindly offered to show my kid a few things because they have a background and can share extra knowledge with my kid, I"D TAKE THEM UP ON IT, NO DISCUSSION.
well, one of my coworkers, not the parent of the kid (that's more my boss) was ARGUING saying she'd wait till the kid has the instrument for a bit....well....i know how it works in schools....i've been involved BIG TIME in music education since i was 8 until i was 25. i'm sorry, but i know that it's good when you get that extra footing...
so, well, i couldn't agree with this parent. IT'S NOT like sports or like just trying cooking....it's a CLASS in school and it is always nice when someone offers...for FREE.
she got the mother of the girl thinking to wait also...not realizing that my offer is extremely generous of my time....
and my knowing how it works in the school system at the lessons...and all my background.
i'm sorry, i get that the kid should develop a liking or desire on their own...
BUT, i just don't agree with denying your kid some extra tips on playing the trumpet.
i just cannot agree with the coworker that talked my other one out of it. like, the other one (the mom) was showing me a video on her iphone of her daughter first starting to practice for the first time at home because she knows how i know a lot about it / she knows my past...
and it got whipped in my face....like....PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU DO NOT WANT FREE MINI LESSON FOR YOUR KID SO THEY CAN START ON THEIR BEST FOOT ON TRUMPET. JUST DON'T.
even if anyone here told me otherwise, i'm sorry, i cannot agree.
i offered something because i have the background, and the woman knows it, so i call b*ll**** that anyone would deny their kids something that many parents can't provide.
the reason for the other way of thinking - both coworkers (mother of the kid too) grew up rather poor and weren't given any extras...and actually the mother ended up being allowed to do some art...but the coworker against the lesson never got anything extra from her parents...and didn't grow up goiing to the kind of school or being in band like this kid is.....she speaks from inexperience.
the kid is in 4th grade. in a good school system. i'm sorry, but, when you are given an offer, a generous and kind one, don't slap me in the face.
the mother was happy for me to do it...at first....then i was being lectured tooth and nail afterward for offering a lesson right when the kid started.
listen....i know how it works. please don't even try to sway me. i disagree wholeheartedly with them.
i learned clarinet first without lessons, in group form in school...and all the kids taking lessons were better - although i was very good.
and i learned french horn only with private lessons...and i got really good really fast and caught up easily.
we are talking about music. the more the merrier. come on!
honestly....i sorta pull back. i don't care as much anymore to share.
i forget sometimes of my EXCELLENT UPBRINGING and everything my parents offered me. i was lucky.
some people don't know when LUCKY HITS THEM IN THE FREAKING FACE.
let me pull back now.
i need to concentrate on my fitness, my passion WAY MORE.
OH - AND I NEED TO LEAVE ON TIME...at 4:30, not 5pm, because i feel bad for someone without my upbringing.
really, i don't think i should care so much anymore
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
And I've noticed that this is what my male co-worker does. I now avoid him at all costs, but sometimes I have documents that have to go into his files. So now I wait until he leaves his desk - WHICH AIN'T ALL THAT OFTEN! - and then file the papers. Sometimes, I have to wait 1-2 days before I can get find his desk chair unoccupied.
Then he wonders why he struggles to lose weight. AND he has a Fitbit too! USE IT!!!
i used it over a sf cookie this AM.
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Yes, maybe a break would be a good idea. Maybe he thought he was being funny...? I say, keep the negative forces at bay, even if it means some distance. It might not be a permanent thing, or maybe it will. All you can do is live in the moment, and you did the right thing.
no, he actually was fuming angry out of nowhere. maybe bc he knew i didn't want to stay and hang out and i was just dropping something off? i'm not sure. but he let something bother him, something minor that i didn't "leave as fast as he wanted from the lobby so he could talk to his neighbor without me there"...and he just boiled up about it. R is extremely easily agitated and unpredictable. that's the issue. :(
graindart on 10/27/2018:
I think I'd kill for a warm & gooey coconut dark chocolate brownie right about now. I could pass up a blondie, but would have a difficult time not devouring a brownie if it were sitting in front of me right now.
i do almost always prefer chocolate too!
i now also found a cool recipe for a crustless blueberry cheesecake which is also on my list of keto breakfasts to make :) yum yum.
BearCountryGG on 10/27/2018:
Sounds like a bit of distance is in the cards.
yeah - he cannot expect to treat me any way he likes no matter how ugly his temper. not ok.