Busy and eventful day. Bed early tonight. Breakfast was cereal high fiber 2 cups 250 with almond milk and banana 150. 400 Snacking fruit and kombucha 100 Lunch: ricky got me a croissant and I had it with my pepperoni around 400 900. Big meal at a st paddys day party: glass of wine 200? Merlot, and I'm not sure I can remember everything: roasted potatoes 200? Fried eggplant rollette which was really good 200, little bites of sausage and peppers 150? Little bit of cabbage not impressed wanted more but this was loaded with crud anyways 50, lots of roast beef 300 tops? Salad with croutons 150? 1250 Back at home two muffins 400 that I made - oops 2550 ****tttt 2day Avg is; 2300 - too high
you see, i ate the muffins not knowing already that my calorie count was already high after the party....i would have most probably stuck to one muffin if i knew i was going to be at 2550 calories if i ate another one....ooopsie.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Happy Saturday, slept in and may take a little nap after the breakfast i ate as well...
8amBreakfast: cereal with almond milk and banana, pretzels 600.
10am Blueberries and tried one of the brownies I made but wasn't great bc I tried to make it healthier and didn't taste great 250...
850
1pm lunch before going out for cardio - cheese puffs 170, whole wheat wrap 120 with mustard and ketchup 20, salami 40, egg 80. Total 450 approx
1300 - turning out very well
2pm leftover chocolates in my apt 100
1400 before jog
After jogging - thinking fruit and yogurt and coffee 250
1650
Dinner ice cream 400
2050 - excellent
Snack: thinking the last of my corn muffins with my cooked cranberries? then going out to walk / jog...
lunch: i'm thinking to bake some fries in my oven (frozen ones) with lots of salad and an egg and egg white???
snack: TBD
GYM in evening
after gym:
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
dark is ok bc it's very local and i'm used to it.
good to get back at it...
800 cal so far before lunch.
1500 after really tasty lunch. it was almost $10 though..but like i said very balanced and tasty. another buffet even better than the place across the street.
450 cal dinner
Grand total today is 1950 - excellent way to end this week !!!
Weekly avg is exactly where I wanted it to be right around 2050 per day :) excellent calorie week
sorta just want ice cream (light kind) for dinner...
i'd like to end the day with no more than 2050 and hopefully less calories...good plan would be to have half a squash and light ice cream...and call it a day!
lunch and breakfasts and snacks were healthy...so...in my opinion having the light ice cream is just fine...and like i said, a whole pint is under or approx 400 cal, so it's not a calorie breaker and it is filling. and luckily the supermarket by me sells them...i can even take the bus there...which is a great idea! yes, i'll get off at that stop, instead of my stop. this small supermarket is in walking distance (around 10min). it's a regular smaller supermarket in the community.
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Physically i know i can do more - push my body more. I think i've gotten to be going too soft at the gym. I want to run more also. It's planned to do cardio this weekend.
Everyday I wake up and regret certain things and really feel stuck right now and like i do not want to continue with this job...but if i leave it there's a big chance I will not be paid as much at the next one if I drop down in responsibility - which is what i do want to do, actually. but then, i have to make at least enough to pay for my apt and groceries and bills...
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also i admit to being hormonally a bit out of whack with pms...i can feel period coming any day or even hour now...usually when i feel this way (like feel my lower abdominal muscles actually moving while i sit at my desk - i know it's probably just hours..)...so some of my problem right now and anxiety is hormonal but i should prob still do the right thing and leave this job...or at least have an option if i ever NEED to leave bc of this current company - my administration...either way, i DO need a better plan.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
I know you have formulated your next career goal, court officer, but maybe start looking for a new job in the interim? If not a new job, then a side job (like working in a gym or becoming a personal trainer) or a volunteer opportunity that you look forward to outside of the electrical job you have now.
I hear you feeling stuck and down on yourself for not having made choices or feeling like there aren't many choices for you. I definitely can relate -- those are legit feelings. But I want to encourage you to break out of that "stuck" feeling/position, but looking into other things for yourself.
My point is that the more options you have for yourself, the more choices you will have. Grow your own options so that you can start making choices again :-)
This will take time and effort. If I had a magic wand, I'd lend it to you for sure.
I will speak to him on weekend.
i feel that i should do this bc i have very large doubts on my abilities to become a full-blown estimator...and find big difficulties at this estimating position. i do not view it favorably as something i am going to be successful in...i honestly think i'd do better with a more secretarial position...just fearing a pay scale negative change on this...but maybe just maybe it's what i need to do - the lower level work.
and at same time i know that switching jobs may not work out, will maybe not pay well...and maybe the court officer thing would never work.
i also have to stress my dad out but i KNOW it's best to go to him now before the "sh*t hits the fan" and i'm thinking he could get me a potential "job hookup" so that if for some reason this deal doesn't work, i can leave and have a place to go.
but i foresee this, and i should speak to him, and not stay here...this is what i feel so deep down is to take some action to leave on my own terms before something worse happens here. i do honestly feel it in my bones that this is my option to take before something worse happens. so i'll have to speak to my father...he's away...so i'll have to speak with him Saturday when he's back or Sunday. he also will have a busy weekend. it's def a stress on him - but he will help me.
i understand what you are saying though...got to pay the bills.
750 before lunch
healthy lunch. was particularly wonderful from the deli buffet (creamed spinach stuffed salmon pieces, little bit of thai flavor rice noodles, and lightly cooked sesame spinach...clementine
1400 before dinner -
500 sushi roll bc accidentally walked home
1900
after gym yogurt and my cooked cranberries and pb 350
total today is good, 2250.
weekly avg: 2083, good. will try to keep calories approx 2050 tomorrow.
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a bit confused on my work, but marking the changes that i need to go over with someone in order ot actually move forward bc i def need some help on this...not sure how this getting help is going to go...but no way i can finish on my own and coworker gone so will have to ask the other guy in another office. he's the project manager.
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Gym tonight. Yesterday after work when i was getting off train for bus, i decided to walk around 25 minutes bc it was sunny - around 4pm since i get out early now i am done with approx half my commute by 4pm. so i walked and got on bus around 4:30 and got some walking in. overall, yesterday, i walked approx:
10min in morning to bus 1/2 mile
5 min in morning to job 1/4 mile
20 min is easy at lunch to do (but with many stops bc city lights / traffic etc) so it prob equals around 1/2 mile
5 min back to train 1/4 mile
10 min home from bus 1/2 mile
and then 20 min extra after work - i'll say 1 mile
total yesterday: 1.75 easily most days
yesterday was around 2.75miles.
legs feel it but they are improving with time :)
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
2050 per day for 5 days
Home kombucha and extra kombucha didn't work - i was rushing still. took too long ot get out of bed. 100
Breakfast and snacks: pb crackers and coffee with heavier milk 250
750 before lunch...planning to hopefully take an early as possible noon lunch today bc my appetite is fuming.
Lunch: orange also 50, 2 chicken dumplings 250?, shredded cucmber with sauce tho not much 50?, baked turkey so good 150? total here: 500-550
1300 after tasty lunch (nice to have such a huge selection including veggies) it's a huge buffet deli. and another clementine bc coworker went on vacation and left some in the fridge and said i could eat them...
1350 before dinner...will be eating dinner back at my apt..planning to eat squash and tofu and keep it lighter - would be nice to lower my calorie total so that's the idea...
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coworker now gone for 2 weeks until March 12th..i'm alone in this room and it is quite dull...i am hungrier for sure and just wish i had more of an "assist roll" and not a "look at these drawings and estimate the changes" roll. really i'm grateful to have a good salary, but despise this job position. it's really quite depressing for me, to be doing something that doesn't excite me. and i wish i skipped the meeting last night, my dad's speech was good but i needed to be home more than i needed to be at that meeting.
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once again i feel life is without many choices because i chose to not make choices. feeling negative. wanted to go to bed earlier, but ran to the meeting when my dad notified me at the last minute that he was speaking at it. I was hoping to have a night off as the previous 5 Tuesday nights have been ON...but it wasn't off as planned and that is just a hair annoying. I'm skipping the gym tonight to be home and not be rushing around 3 nights in a row as i typically do not enjoy having several nights out in a row bc it runs me down.
I might end of just going to gym bc it's frustrating to do everything i am not passionate about have not do the gym,,,,but it's better i just wait to go until tomorrow eve. just means i'll also go on Saturday eve. that's fine. Saturday earlier i plan to do some cardio again.
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On a more postive note, my skin is very clear thanks to honey i apply after the shower - YES, HONEY. it is antibacterial i believe and also antioxidant and my skin has had a pretty dramatic turnover. before bed i use it also, after i wash my face i leave it on and lightly rinse it before hitting the pillows.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
the gym will not be helpful and will prob be better on thursday after getting more rest tonight.
like i was saying, i do not enjoy being out several nights in a row - it really doesn't put me at ease and lately i'm waking up at night and not sleeping well bc my mind isn't relaxed when i go to bed.
your advise is good, but maybe i just know myself by now and what i enjoy in terms of the gym / # of nights out during the week that is preferred in a row.
i'd like to go to gym, i just don't see it as in my best interest to be out again.
I do not have an answer to the job situation, unfortunately. I'm fortunate to like what I do, but I do not get paid very well for it, relatively speaking, and frankly, I'm lucky to be earning what I do earn, because I know there are paralegals out there earning a lot less for a lot more work and stress.
edit: i WENT TO THE MEETING - my dad called at literally 5:55pm to say he was speaking and i then ran out the door and ran to the meeting, prob got there around 6:05 and luckily it didn't start yet and i didn't miss him speaking...i WISH he told me ahead of time!!!!!!!!!GRRRRRRRRR. so i did go out again after work. usually i go to the meetings and my dad doesn't...and every time i want to skip, he ends up going and speaking (only reason he'll go is if he speaks!)
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sleep wasn't great last night but that's surely ok considering the hours i'd been logging in the preceeding days!!!!
all healthy so far this morning, in moderation - which means all foods, def not low fat or no carb or anything like that...but trying to choose foods that compliment and satisfy so i'm not STARVING all morning. so far it's working.
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5:30am (still need to get outta bed a hair earlier or at least start drinking the drink a half hour earlier ?....) Home: kombucha which worked but i was a few minutes late to work bc of ...pooping...and not wanting to leave without doing so!
7am till noon: Breakfast and snacks: coffee, banana, whole wheat wrap with egg and small slices salami, mix of peanuts and cashews!
Lunch: TBD and healthy of course! sandwiches provided by work and i did indulge bc they were actually healthy but i did eat two large halves...one was turkey on a pita with a nice amount of healthy turkey and a nice amount of avocado and even a light maybe mayo spread and even some sprouts ! the second was tuna that i ate most of - tuna was excellent on a pita again...and some chips that i think were homemade! (we are NYC, folks!). the sandwiches were great, i decided to fill up! 750 lots of protein, some healthy pita, and even avocado and obviously some mayo at least in the tuna. but healthy it was, just not many veggies. but still more than i've EVER SEEN in a sandwich! like, sprouts!? who's had a sandwich with sprouts in it before!? not me!
1450 after lunch...
Snack: clementine :) 1500
Dinner: at home :-) I have tons of bean pasta and marinara sauce :) and i SKIPPED the optional meeting...HAVE TO SAY NO TO SOMETHING SOMETIMES. just no. not tonight. i'm sleeping early and that's it. 2 servings pasta 400, and a lot of sauce 150? 550.
2050...and i was gonna reach for blueberries, but this total is excellent...time for a nice hot shower, followed by some seltzer and reading, then BED early. woohoo, i am glad to sleep early tonight after a sorta restless sleep last night.
proud of myself for skipping the meeting but NOT BINGEING!!!!!!!!! cheers to good choices today. i don't want to get fat....its NOT WORTH it. (i have gained weight on and off in the past, that is something not happening again - per my decision right now).
4day avg is also 2050. Very Very happy with this because other weeks were really getting high previous to this week which is moderate for sure at 2050 per day...whereas other weeks i was closer to 2200 which is quite a bit more per day!
no class tonight bc there was a meeting (optional and i should go since i can walk there, but i'm home and that's it for today.) i go to most meetings and i do NOT need to be 100%. I am grateful for this early night, gym tomorrow night!
good nite all!
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Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Good for you for not going to the meeting. I've been working on setting limits for myself too, and not feeling guilty about it. I'm hoping for another early bedtime :-)
750 thru 11am
Snack of cheese from coworker really good 100
Noon granola bar before short 15 min walk & lunch 100
Healthy lunch from deli: lots of shrimp which turns out VERY spicy in a cilantro and hot pepper light sauce (not what i expected but definitley closes off the appetite!) 200?, and lots of portabella mushrooms only lightly coated (healthy lunch!) 150...beause i ate a ton thru the morning.
1300 after a FILLING lunch which is what i love! filling veggies and some protein....not planning on another snack during work at all, just dinner and i'm planning on sushi from a place in walking distance to the bus by me (not looking to eat at home...my workout clothes are waiting for me IN MY CAR) so plan is just to walk home, drop something off on the walk at Rickys, get in my car & go!).
500-550 healthy dinner (sushi)
250 after workout.
2050 or so. good.
3day = 2050 = very good for this week as my goal has been to stay just around this amount for awhile to see what my weight does.
tomorrow after work i have a meeting to go to...it's not right after work tho. so i'll come home, eat dinner, then walk there (it's 10 minutes away from my apt). i'd rather skip it, but i know i should JUST GO.
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I will walk 10-15min at lunch...
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now that i start at 7am i am def getting quite hungry in the morning...but good thing is i leave at 3:30 to go home, so if i have a good lunch i shouldn't need too much in the afternoon besides a small snack - forgot my clementine...i'll prob have carbs, maybe nuts.
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...gym tonight....
...ok back to work.
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I'm embarassed about how weak my legs are. Even just standing on the subway train for 20-30 min i can feel it...I obviously need to move more and not less. Will work on it.
Gym session was good but my pushups suck! my situps have gotten better there. i guess i just need to do more faster and smaller sets of pushups to build up my endurance and strength to do more :)
my legs feel stronger this week & they are also starting to do a little more at the gym.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
i have had all those drinks, yes, they are quite tasty.
but if it's 10 cal, there is hardly any coconut water in it...but a good way to save calories. and made with a mix i think of stevia and erythritol.
talk later!
they also have bai carbonated drinks.
400 breakfast
10am Snacks 250 dried fruit and almonds
11am Late snacks big orange and pretzels 200
850....
Noon: wrap 60 with lox and butter 90, curry potatoes and a few leftover noodles 250?
1250..
Plain yogurt with a little stevia and my cooked cranberries 150 - no more sugared yogurts for me for awhile ! Plain is so much more satisfying !
Total today 2000 :-) -------------------------------
I did laundry early and don't have a lot planned today - going to cook the squash in my apt and maybe just relax although I am tempted to walk some stairs in the apt bldg for like 10 minutes
2050 2day
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
i have to decide if it's even worth it to train. i think it is...but i'm a long ways off. then again, i don't run...so if i could start training again, there's hope for me...though i definitely will have to see improvement...and not too many backslides.
it wasn't good. i need to def keep training and improving. my starting point is horrible, literally.
i didn't realize it would be as difficult, again, until i tried it.....not sure if i should just quit on this...for now i'll keep it as a goal.
my legs have always got tired easily...from lack of exercise except the time i did exercise them and got to doing 5mi a run right before my injury. I suppose i can improve if i work on it....like i said i'm not sure how MUCH i can improve...i do have 2 years to work on this...before any exam...
I thought of you... I did go shopping, but my morning was not much and my afternoon (after shopping) was not much either, other than folding laundry/putting away. Gotta gear up for the work week ahead!
10:30pm woke up with small appetite: banana 120
7am Breakfast: wrap 60, curry potatoes 250, egg and ketchup 100. 530...
9:30am snack: roasted lightly salted almonds 200 and clementine 30
Choc 80 840
lunch: i have leftovers so no need to buy any food until Sunday :) I have enough food for lunch and dinner here at home...planning to do a little cooking Sunday before the work week - to cook healthy dinners - at least the protein part :) i might pick up the bananas and some salad greens / veggies, though after running because i do not have fresh veggies right now in my fridge.
lunch chinese veggies 250? wrap 60 with butter 40, lox50, corn muffin with cooked cranberries 250 = 650.
1500, good...goal is 2050 cals today. dinner plan is light ice cream again...
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I Slept 12 hours ! Up and happy! Good weather to try the beep test outside to see where I am at.
beep test i tried but did horribly...tons of room for improvement...i failed it. i am eager to start again to work on my cardio & see how i am next year.
2100 total pretty good.
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
I'm sorry I didn't get to commenting to wish you luck in the change of your office location. I'm glad to read that your commute went well. The hours sound better to me, too. How does that work out with your class after work?
Home Kombucha, didn't work 70
Breakfast / Snacks: coffee 100, banana 120, wrap 60 with ketchup 20 and egg 100. 400, salt and pepper cashews 200...hungry and cannot concentrate, jittery...had pb crackers 200
900 before lunch - hopefully not more.
Lunch healthy: clementine 50, roasted potatoes: 200?, marinated mushrooms: 150?, flounder 150? total here 550. food is great in deli across the street! and healthy...plan is to enjoy it for a week or two for now...and maybe just eat more dinners at home! YES...like i can still prepare food, but it will be prepped for my dinner rather than my lunch! that's all...
1450 after lunch...
Dinner: to be a light dinner of lite ice cream and maybe some fruit. Not more than 400 cal..very light ice cream like 350 cal for the whole pint!
not more than1850 total today.
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Saturday plans are really simple:go to track and set up for the BEEP test..try it...this will be in morning after breakfast. then lunch & after lunch i'll go to gym for a workout. after that i'm not sure...i'm not even sure what to do Sunday! well...laundry, get some food for the week - i plan to eat out for lunch next week everyday...food is good & healthy so right now i'm going to enjoy it since like i said - it's very HEALTHY.
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ending the day on a more positive note: 2070 avg cals per day = DECENT! it's my goal to remain with weekly averages now in the 2000s rather than 2100 or 2200! I'm doing good if i make the choice to eat less today. i can do it!
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it won't be a "low cal" week or even moderate cal week, it'll end around 2200 cals per day, but i'll try my best to manage my appetite tonight and eat a lighter dinner - maybe a pint of light ice cream or something to just enjoy the motions of eating but go to bed early tonight...hope to have a more productive day tomorrow after a full night of restful sleep.
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Last night i was in bed by around 7pm, up at 4:45. It's enough sleep, yes, but lately i am extremely tired and it helps me not to get sick as i transition again to a new workplace and commute as well as new coworkers and slightly new assignments....
I ate a bunch of carbs for dinner and was fully knocked out afterwards...but it's also from all the changes going on for me - my body is definitely still adjusting and i'll prob be finally adjusted by April or so - it's very important right now to me to move thru Winter with continuing my gym sessions and the class i'm taking. I also have a small number of other commitments (just like a couple of them) until April, so, I have enough on my plate until then. I say April because April is in about a month from now and that's how long I figure it'll take me to feel comfortable and used to the new commute (which actually i have a choice of station i use so i'll try a different subway station going home tonight - they are both equally distant from work - around 1/4 mile...)
Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
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Sounds like it was a nice day!
it ended up being productive..
Donkey on 03/04/2018:
Ah don't worry about the calories - those 2 cups of Fiber One will take care of that tomorrow morning ;-)
lol...i hadn't totaled my calories before inhaling the muffins, didn't realize i was already up there in calories for the day....oops.
bearcountrygg on 03/04/2018:
LOL
;)
trishpiglet3 on 03/05/2018:
I think eating high calorie foods can sometimes make us want more high calorie foods. But also that one day of eating a lot isn't the worst thing.
Glad you had a productive day :)
agreed with your opinion :)