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Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Jan 26, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Morning - overslept by one hour but got wonderful sleep & will still be on time to work...glad i showered last night!!

even though i am tired to start the day because of the sleeping pill, over the counter type but it's very strong called Sleepinol, I am very glad i took it.  I am feeling, overall, better and better since the year 2015 and especially this Fall & Winter. The extra sleep last night to balance out my sleep all week is good for my body for rest and recovery especially with my fitness plans. All is good. :-D

Home: local honey 30, acv in seltzer, stevia....1/2 banana counted below and i had just enough time to actually relax while drinking the acv and it worked... i'm off to a great start this AM.

Work: wrap 60, other half banana 120, peanut butter a little extra i think 200 380, coffee extra milk 60 and NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER. and one coffee with milk and 1 SPLENDA..it's ok...forgot i could have used my stevia ooops i did bring it.. 

Snack: almonds 100 cal pack probably :-D lightly salted

650 before lunch, very healthy: will be a mix of soy "chicken", rice, veggies, kiwi: 550 or so...most. and small chips.

1250 after lunch...

before gym: bar and caffeine drink, natural, added stevia - 100

1800 thurs night

 

_________________________________________________

gonna save time and go to gym next door to work today after work.  was late to work by 20 min so going next door to work is quite nice... :-D  And i am beginning to enjoy the gym next door when i see friends i make there as I go more often I have become friendly with a couple women and one guy. They are so nice, it's great to see them there!

 

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 01/26/2017:
Good on the gym...have a good day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/26/2017:
thank you Maria...yes, i am pretty focused on getting to the gym 3x per week :-D



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jan 25, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

5day avg: 2030, good.

i did walk to the store, but that's the only exercise. very tired at end of the day and very happy to go home and nap.

__________________________________________________

My mood is 100% positive today.  Better sleep and eating is catching up and it feels awesome.

It's true - more sleep and better eating is amazing.  It's true it works.

Approx 6.5hrs sleep. - Prob will get extra tonight :-D Feeling good, no worries. learning to get the balance 

I now treat sleeping like calories - try to get a weekly balance :-D

_______________________________________________

Home: kombucha in an awesome new flavor: Habarnero Mango and it was so cool, like a spicy sweet mango! 70 cal. wish it had less sugar but still it's not the worst!

Breakfast: nice banana 120, wrap 60 with cream cheese 100, turkey pepperoni 100 - all tasty. 380. GREEN TEA.  coffee is soooo not my friend these days.

Snack: will be almonds 100 cal pack later.

550 before lunch, might have an early lunch again.

Lunch: all healthy, vegetarian:  will include shredded cabbage (microwaved) mixed into a dish of cashews and tofu and veggie lightly sauteed with some potato and rice, dessert is an apple,  I'll determine calories later after i see the portions again at lunch. I also have soy chicken in it, almost forgot that part!  It's really good, marinated a bit.

Lunch: cabbage 50, cashew / tofu / diced veg 250?, soy chicken 150?, rice 50?, potato 100 apple 100.  700 tops.

1250, excellent...

Picked up some carribbean food after lunch for dinner, it's 3 blocks from work...i'll be eating pumpkin tonight...a lot of it, some other veg, i think yogurt along with it. that's it, trying for sleeping pill and bed early...really want to take a sleeping pill tonight if i get home early enough.

 Dinner was massive as i ate a ton of that carribbean food...at least 800 cal.

Today is 2050, fine...hopefully not more? i'll say 2100. it was a big dinner, but no added sugars to my knowledge (might have been added into the pumpkin)...it was all kinds of sauteed veggies in oil and a pumpkin dish and small piece of chicken. lotta volume and some added oils, etc.

______________________________________________

All in all this Winter, I'm feeling better & better - simply amazing.

I'm going to keep rocking on...see how far i get fitness-wise by April....and take the NYPD academy from there. If i feel great, i'll enter, if not, I'll wait till January & do it then. Perfect timing. I am not worried anymore.

Feeling so good today.

_____________________________________________

And to close - I am soooo NOT UPSET in the least about any of the recent guy stuff (the cop not texting me back) and also the final resolution and closure of the unequal and hurtful relationship i once had with Paul.  It's all done, book closed, moving on.

 I doubt Paul would ever want to contact me again, for any reason, but if by chance he did i would not be very inclined to even answer his call / text.

I do now realize that no guy is worth me chasing, even in 2017.  Wait for them to show interest.  Wait for the guy to show me that HE FEELS i am worth his time & NEVER the other way around. 

I am too good to let any man walk all over me.  No man is worth putting myself second in any relationship for. 

It took me a really long time to realize this, but it feels so good to know this & have finally realized it for myself.

I don't know why i let it go so long - probably bc i wasn't feeling my best for a long time.

Now that my health is improving more rapidly, skin is clearing, getting constantly stronger & learning more how to manage my time & life - I am beginning to see what I overlooked for so long.

I need to take care of me & nobody else until they show their interest.  If they aren't interested, it's so simple - wait for the next man or next opportunity to come around.

There's no rush and no limit in life - there's opportunities and more opportunity.

Never feel like one guy is the last guy.

It's not the right man if you have to work so hard and gain nothing in return.

Thank you, BiscottiBody especially, for always looking out for me. YOU WERE RIGHT.  I just had to learn it on my own, my own pace, for myself. I needed to reach the bottom (in this relationship) to realize there was not going to ever be any future in it.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 01/25/2017:
Love mango!! Glad you are feeling so balanced and healthy now.

True that there are plenty of fish in the sea! Never settle for any man.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/26/2017:
Thank you Annie, def plenty of options and never settle for less than my / our worth :-D

Enjoy your day!!



Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jan 24, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Home: a nice kombucha, worked like a charm 70 (i think this contains caffeine)

Breakfast: banana 120, wrap 60, peanut butter 200, cooked cranberries 30. not in mood for any caffeine -having water right now.  

snack: 100 cal nuts package, not in mood for a bar, nope...just nuts with some salt.  i am getting sick of the processed junk. for dessert, after lunch, i have a nice kiwi - def don't want chips again!

600 and HEALTHY before lunch....

Healthy lunch: some cabbage (not counting it), chickpeas 100, potato 150, little bit of rice also 100, soy meat 100? - not much of it left, and a kiwi! 50: 500-550

4pm before gym (next door to work!) : caffeine and a bar 100

LIGHT MEAL AFTER GYM: maybe a protein muffin and some of that squash and a little ice cream ;) lately I am craving REAL food. i had veggies, lightly sauteed, 200 at MOST maybe less, 2 pieces of fried plantain (but not much) 100, some bacon jerky but not much 100, some ice cream but not much 100. 500 and healthy.

total today is so healthy: 1750.

4day avg: 2012, excellent.

goodnight, all.

 

 

work is slow....i cannot be upset about it...i'll keep myself occupied, on here, reading, that's all.  I cannot complain, no, and i must work to stay healthy and happy. i'm doing it. feeling better than ever.  I CAN and WILL get to NYPD. gotta relax now, as i have been, and just go with it...work on my goals within reason and they will work out :-D.  

I have a ways to go before running and starting to think i might have to wait until Jan '18 for running in nypd instead of doing it this summer '17....i'm just nervous that i will not be able to withstand the academy training...i'll work my hardest and see what happens, within reason, by April...I do not think i'm ready for it...i honestly think i'll wait (still less than a year) and enter in January '18 instead of this summer? I think so...............anyone have advice on this?  The deadline for me is January '18 (can't push it longer than that).  anyone have advice? 

I might actually wait as long as I was given - the entire FOUR YEARS...that would mean i could enjoy this summer again, not studying for academy....but really i don't care one way or the other!.......?  It doesn't matter, i'm only going to base my decision on my ability to run each day....that's all. I CAN DO IT, I'm giong to get there...my health has gotten better and better since 2015....i'm doing it...I'm staying positive. It's either this summer or winter '18. Two choices left.  If i want to do summer, I have to notify them early in April / May, which is why i KNOW i may have to wait till winter 2018.

Lunch: very healthy including brown rice with a few veggies in it, i think some potato too roasted with some tumeric, extra veggies, and veggie soy "chicken" - happy being healthier and excited to have fruit for dessert. i really am turning over a new life this winter. i do feel better when i eat better. seems i do enjoy sleeping more too....it's all working out.

 

_________________________________________________

in more for healthy foods lately...starting to crave healthier options..really! tastebuds changing i think. body wants to be healthier. skin is enjoying (and i am enjoying) being relatively so much clearer. I also am eager for  NYPD....doing the right things.

that cop wasn't interested in dating. maybe he's already daying or married. i am not sure.

I know i always write about me, me & me...but...maybe one day I would be able to balance a relationship too, we'll see. it's not urgent so i'm going to lay off for now.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 01/24/2017:
Healthy foods!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/24/2017:
It's good to eat healthy and then feel healthy...

I feel like i need more in my life than what it is, but i must remember that my goal is for more - and to take it easy right now :)


innerpeace on 01/24/2017:
The only advice I can offer - when I joined the military I joined to go to basic training in the fall because I didn't want to be too hot in the summer or too cold in the winter during training. We had to do lots of training outdoors and it was pleasant during the end of summer and early fall. I graduated right at Christmas and never had to endure any extreme heat or cold and i wouldn't have changed that for anything.

I don't know if your hand gun training is done indoors or out but I would take whatever training and how much will be done outdoors - will it be hot in the summer? Cold in the winter? what can you handle better? Just something to consider.

Good luck with your decision. It is do or die time, now...you can't procrastinate if you push it until the winter.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/24/2017:
I may wait to be in best shape in my legs possible...and not push it....and just wait it out, do it at last opportunity. spoke to a very smart and kind superior at work (he's an important manager, actually) and he suggested to wait the longest possible time so i can keep on doing the right thing and getting stronger on my own until then.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/24/2017:
thank you for your support and advice. i didn't want to do it in winter, but may wait till then - after summer and just spend summer enjoying life more....we'll see.

it's really about my legs :-D



Horn_of_plenty - Monday Jan 23, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Home: a nice flavor (sorta new i think i only tried it 1x and so good) of kombucha , 2 servings (2 cups) 70. it does have caffeine / sugar, so i may try to ease off sugar tonight (dinner) completely i'd say...i'll have one of the meals i already pre-packaged myself...i already orgainized healthy & balanced meals in my fridge - around 4 of them left? i forget.  i bought a lot of premade food and divided them up (contains potato, rice, beans, veggies, and soy meats)..good tasting and totally healthy stuff....

Breakfast at work, healthy mix: banana 120, wrap 50, cooked cranberries 50, cream cheese 50, peanut butter 150: 420, green tea.

Snack: small bar 150.

(650 before lunch) feeling extra thirsty, all morning.

Healthy lunch, vegetarian: all natural, rice, veggies,tofu duck 650 or so...AND CHIPS. in an eating mood for sure. 120.

1420...healthy most importantly...working on my health, my skin is actually getting SO MUCH BETTER! 

dinner: tons of brussel sprouts in oil and garlic with some onion like 200 at least cals, egg whites 30 and an egg 70, strawberries 50, ice cream 150, add 50 cal more to be safe: 600 or so.

total today 2000, healthy.

2100 3-day avg.

_____________________________________________

I don't eat much meat anymore...and i'm working on shifting off the pepperoni and salami so i'm not eating it all the time for breakfast. today's breakfast left me too hungry - too many carbs.

______________________________________________

I stepped on scale and how nice!...weight is STill 115.6! AMAZNG. Maintenance has been good to me!!

______________________________________________

Planning on a VERY early bedtime tonight as I haven't really slept great in two days, and i prefer to sleep extra tonight as tomorrow is a gym day and it's a full week for me at work :) 

Also with an increase in exercise, i am trying to prevent injury and continue getting stronger to be able to do more cardio and eventually jogging later on...so the extra sleep is necessary. 

my skin is improving big time - my face is starting to actually feel radiant, slowly.  i got a fourth and final, for now and for a long time moving forward, treatment done for electrolysis so i may break out slightly one more time - but it honestly looks as though my skin is making it thru 100% better than it did for the past 3 treatments. I've learned a TON regarding my skin...less chemicals makes a huge difference.

laying lower on sugar and refraining from those chemical-laden Monster drinks has really given new life to my skin :-)

I am also starting the week off very happy.

I want to date a cop i know, i have his phone number and we text a little bit. i know he is attracted to me...he's cute. He's really tall (i like that) and he's a year older than me...and he has a nice smile. he's Spanish.  I am white & jewishso this is a major change....i have to see if he's in fact single and if he's interested :-) maybe yes!

update: he may not be interested at all, i do not know.... :-( ....i am texting him too much, so now i'll just wait...be extra patient...i don't want the same thing happening that happened last time with P (where i gave my all for nothing in return...so....just gonna wait it out now.)

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 01/23/2017:
Chance meetings. Great job on the maintenance. My face is breaking out again and I too have lowered my sugar in take...I guess I will try something else.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/23/2017:
also caffeine and dairy are major culprits.

and lack of sleep.

sugar, dairy, caffeine, lack of sleep oh....and chemical laden foods ... oh and salt. try to reduce those...

i just reduced, not even eating perfect at all, and my skin has improved greatly!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/23/2017:
acne is the worst when you are an adult, so embarassing - but you CAN fix it....def involves a TON of changes.

like, those diet sodas and energy drinks - i cannot do them if i want clear skin.

i can do seltzer with stevia though.

and suprisngly, my period was very easy this month, and quick...it was like my hormones were more in balance.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2017:
shoot. i think i freaked the cop out - i didn't over-text like crazy, but texted like 3 times - 3 sentences. nothing nutz, but maybe nuts to him it sucks. i may have destroyed my chance. if that's so - it's ok.


grannyannie on 01/24/2017:
Awesome how you maintain your weight so well!

I had more pimples in my 40's than ever before that. I guess it was payback for rarely having any in my teens.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/24/2017:
Do you know why all of a sudden you are more pimples?

Mine are finally clearing up...lately i'm back having kombucha in the morning bc it works so well, but a little nervous that i'm going to break out from the extra sugar in mornings...

but either way, the healthier choices of food i make, the more my skin is starting to actually feel smoother and supple and glow when i get up in the morning! this is exciting.

for too long i was eating REALLY poorly...like most of my adult life.

and the acne really caught up with me during this particular job (6 years at it). i think it's due to less sleep also and time to relax and for my body to be able to rest as this job requires more hours than i ever spent working in my life - but now that i have more balance, my skin is improving greatly.

also - no monster energy drinks - and think that this was a major, MAJOR culprit with my acne.

it's so amazing how much better my skin is!

and thanks for the compliment on my weight. I will have to keep calories lower soon bc i have been eating more this winter.

but, it seems i'm burning what i eat mostly since i'm doing more cardio.

i maintain my weight by actually figuring out what calories approx i need to maintain. Last year with my sister's wedding, i was able to concentrate and lose the exact weight i wanted to lose.

Last year in the Fall, Winter & Spring, after being home sick for a month, i realized that anything i want in life is STILL REACHABLE. that nothing was out of my control like i thought it was!

even writing that above paragraph to you reminds me to think this way - think the positive.

but after i lose the weight for the last time last year in the Spring, i vowed to maintain it.

I have add two periods of my life when i was 10-20 lbs heavier than i am now - i didn't want a third time like that. So i do try hard to keep my weight down as the stress of going up and down in weight i would prefer to not deal with - maintainenance is hard, but for me getting off track and back on track is even harder.


grannyannie on 01/24/2017:
No idea why I got more pimples in my 40's. Stress? I was starting to eat healthier as well. Started working out.



Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Jan 22, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

2-day avg: 2150, fine.

8:30am nice big breakfast: oatmeal 150 made with almond milk 30, another herbalife protein cookies and cream packet 150 (now i have 1 left and many shakeology packets to use!) , cinnamon, banana 120, cooked cranberries 50, peanut butter 150.   650 .

11am ice cream but not a lot ... 120 cal

1:30pm Boston Market kids meal healthy rotisserie turkey 150-200 with mashed potatoes 300?and veggies around 550 total

1350 healthy! (during my walk at park i decided to eat lunch ight outside the park & then resumed walking)

snack after getting home from walk & picking up some food for most of the week (might need to get more around wed, prob not) bar and lousy caffeine drink 150, and diet tonic i think.

1500 before workout which will end maybe later than expected so no sleeping pill...

Dinner was way bigger than expected. sorta pigged out (chips after a healthy dinner) but prob burned it all today. I did a two mile walk in afternoon and an intense gym session.

Overall eating was healthy today and balanced. I am proud of myself.Just a hair too much caffeine in evening at gym which led to me being overly hungry after the workout and slightly shaky. so i indulged in some carbs, extra carbs. all is GOOD!

2250 today. but i'm proud of myself for eating lots of healthy food. All 3 main meals were healthy: breakfast, lunch, dinner. no ice cream as a meal. I really did great.

 

 ____________________________________________________________

Good Plans for today: laundry was all done YESTERDAY yay!. No huge food shopping until maybe tomorrow or today but not a ton. ...

1A. read an oprah article on mental illness..

1. Get last electrolysis appt done at 12:30pm...and tell him to stay away from any area of my face that looks irritated...because my face is finally clearing up...and i really don't want to deal with painful and irritated breakouts again...my face is doing much better because i'm eating better and sleeping more. it's amazing.!

2. Walk at the nearby park...but get some food first - maybe a Wendy's chilli :)

3. head back home here and go to the gym after having a snack: granola bar / caffeine

4. pick up some food, YES but not a lot, and head home for an early evening :-)

 

 

 

_____________________________________________________

slept 6 hrs which is fine bc the night before i slept around 11. planning on an early bedtime tonight again, so i have a great start to the work week. I'll definitely take a sleeping pill one more time tonight. (didn't take one last night because i went to bed at 2am...and woke around 8am couldn't sleep that well as i had coffee at my friend's house later at night). it was a nice time out with my friends, totally worth it.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 01/23/2017:
Doing well. You always make up for eating any junk.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/23/2017:
yes....now that i'm trying to be healthier, i am tending to eat slightly higher calories, but working on it.

also, yes, i like to balance the week so i can have some high cal days....i am getting used to the balancing act over the course of a week.!!



Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Jan 21, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

Hi All :-)

10am Nice breakfast: oatmeal 150 made with almond milk 30, cranberries 40, a packet of Herbalife protein shake (cookies & cream flavor) i had in my cabinet 150 and added some water to it (mixed it all into my oatmeal was very nice), peanut butter 100. 470-500.

Was trying to "not eat much" before the brunch at 2pm...but...at least i chose a healthy, filling breakfast with carbs, fats, proteins. It's pretty balanced. I had some of those leftover protein packets and they are filled with vitmains and health. I'd count this as a healthy breakfast & happy i didn't reach for that light ice cream!

1pm: Snack almonds 150

2:30pm brunch: portabella mushroom burger with extra veggies on it, no cheese, and of course the bun 400...and then some really tasty cooked broccoli in butter on the side around 200? 600 and so tasty. oh, and shrimp. 50? (shrimp was just grilled, not so buttery, around 5 small ones)

6pm snack: srawberries 50

dinner at home : one fried plantain piece 50?, few egg whites 100, egg 70, mustard, avocado 150, wrap 60. 450 or so, excellent and healthy.

1800, maybe nothing else. not gonna cut up veggies or bring to friends house. just bringing myself...and maybe some tomatoes and a cucumber lol.

midnight edit: actually had healthy eats at my friend's house! some coffee with milk (but only a cup ! and no artificial sweetener!), lots of tomatoes, and a hershey's kiss :-) not more than 150 cal!!

total today: around 1950, all pretty darn healthy. :-)

________________________________________________

Decided not to go out for dinner, gonna eat some food at my place and then see my friends later afterwards back at their place. 

instead of going to dinner with friends, i went home to put my clothes in the dryer bc one of the dryers i used this AM was not working well and my clothes were totally still very damp. when i got home, they were still damp so i threw them in the dryer and washed a winter jacket and some clothes that i had ordered (two shirts and two workout tops) so i can wear them this week...

I also stopped by the supermarket quickly to buy some nuts, seltzers, and veggies and fruit. I'll eat some of it later, i think. and maybe bring some with me when i go out, maybe, prob not actually.

___________________________________________

 

11am entry: Slept in & feeling thankful for that opportunity to get some great quality sleep. Feeling rested. About to hop in the shower (just had a nice breakfast) & then start up laundry - so i do not have to be worrying about it tomorrow.

I have a lunch with a couple older male coworkers at 2pm and it's local which is great - under half hour away for sure. Then after the 2pm lunch which should prob end around 4/4:30, i'm heading to dinner out again around a half hour away again with my group of friends. they are going back to their house after to play games but i am planning to head home after dinner. I don't want to be out late tonight...i want to be able to come home and relax and go to bed early. 

Tomorrow i have to go to my last electrolysis appt and i'm glad it's the last because my skin is finally improving due to my own doing of starting to make better choices with my food / drinks / caffeine / etc.  I also have the gym & will pick up minimal food for the week since i'm having a cleaning lady come Monday and I prefer to go food shopping after she's been thru my apt. She comes around every 4-6 weeks.

 

 

 

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

puddles on 01/21/2017:
Sounds like you will be having a very pleasant day. Enjoy yourself J.


Donkey on 01/21/2017:
Sounds like a lovely weekend! I've been thinking about hiring a cleaning service as well. Just to get the house "back on track" and then, like you, mainly a monthly (give or take) maintenance for the nitty-gritty cleaning.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2017:
i would say the cleaning service i use isn't good at nitty gritty...


grannyannie on 01/22/2017:
Healthy eating today! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!



Horn_of_plenty - Friday Jan 20, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

< 2250 cal Friday it's ok. And 1950 cal avg for the week - it's ok. Was pmsing Friday bad.

p>Late to work this AM...just had trouble getting out of bed and ready on time...bathroom and everything got slowed down and i didn't feel the need to rush to be on time..so just took my time. (It's ok...in general i don't do this).

Home: seltzer and ACV and stevia, worked... 0 cal.

work 9am or so Breakfast: banana 150, wrap 50 with pb 200, cooked cranberries 50, higher caffeine dose in tea and stuff no coffee as my stomach is very rumbly and upset due to hormones PMS but under control as i've been eating better and exercising better as well and somewhat sleeping better, body is actually better than usual this time of the month due to my diet improving and stuff. 450 - good!

11:30 snack: bar 150

1:30pm lunch: bite of brownie 50 and bite of cake 50, fries 300?, panini lots of bread but small amount of everything else? 450 total here: 850 or so.

Lunch: boss ordered so i am splurging on panini...my stomach and digestive system cannot handle veggies right now at work...

1450....bad PMSing man...bloating and gas and can't wait to be home and back on couch. i don't think i'm going to walk today, just relax. same tomorrow. no need right now..i'm just going to relax and not worry about walking or jogging this weekend :-D

and gym sunday. i'll take it easy on the exercise otherwise....and will spend time enjoying lunch with coworkers and dinner with friends tomorrow! 2 events in one day. after dinner, friends will go back to their house and play games and i might just go to that also!

__________________________________________

Having a much better day than yesterday and i was actually busy working most of the morning at work which takes my mind off too much wandering. 

I'm in a much better place today.

Looking foward to a very social day Saturday and a more relaxed day on Sunday :)

I am supposed to get electrolysis which i am not eager to do for the last time (4 of 4 sessions). my skin is finally clearing up now...because i'm eating better - but the electrolysis treatments break me out...maybe it'll be a tad more controlled this time i think...as i'm planning to not have tons of sugar this weekend and i will get more sleep...not looking forward to this final electrolysis session lol. I'll have him use the plastic coated needle - it doesn't work as well as the metal one, but, i think it's worth not being so broken out after - YES...i should def go that route i think? or...i can deal with the annoyance this last time - yeah, may as well deal with the regular needle and see what happens from there.  i paid for the service, may as well use the metal needle, not plastic coated one...blecch!!!!!! at least i figured this out.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 01/20/2017:
Hope you have a great weekend, HOP!



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jan 18, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

2 nights up in a row...things on my mind, not necessarily a bad thing though. I don't really mind being up.

1:30am - Had a banana 120

8:30am - banana #2 120, green tea, wrap 60 with egg 70, cream cheese 100, some turkey pepperoni 50: 400.

520 before snack...

snack - a small bar 130

Lunch: basmati rice 200, veggies 150 no more than that!, and some soy curry chicken 200? 550.

Before gym: 1400 total...1800 total.

1930 - 5day, good!

___________________________________________________

The guy that i've always been upsetting myself over, well, he was really blunt to be last night. he said there'll be no being together.

I'm not having a great week. I'm overtired and feeling so torn between how i'm spending time and with who.

I want to be very alone right now and not at work.

I'm really upset.

I actually feel chills over it and like my skin is on fire. It's very, VERY upsetting.

for anyone that thinks to tell me "I told you so," hold your breath. I don't want to hear it at all...

__________________________________________________

I had been thinking in the back of my head that if i couldn't get this guy the way i wanted him, well, then maybe i was misinformed about the nypd goal too....that maybe if this goal was not achievable that maybe i'm not gonna to get in the academy either.

____________________________________________________

I am VERY alone right now. 

I am upset.

I have a HUGE process ahead of me and it feels like the biggest burden.

My life is all f'ed up....

__________________________________________________

I just know i must keep a very positive outlook and be proud of my progress this far...and know that little by little I will get to where I need to be.......

Just having a VERY UPSETTING day.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 01/19/2017:
Hope you can get some good sleep.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/19/2017:
yeah it's beginning to get me sorta in a bad mood over here :/....lack of sleep gets me down so fast. time of month i think too lol.

thanks for dropping by!


jayhawkjen on 01/19/2017:
It sound like you're having a terrible time. I'm sorry! At least you're taking care of your health. Please don't give up on your other goals because this one didn't work out. Peace.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/19/2017:
thank you, it was really a bit of a shock - whenever anything moves at all forward, it all comes back in my face.

I have to move on this time. I blocked his #. I am going to do right for myself and get myself thru the winter and on to the other career. I'll make it work by staying positive.


innerpeace on 01/19/2017:
Not much to say about the man thing, I just know that you are strong and you can get along without him...because you have been this whole time. Now you know!

You've been talking about NYPD, this is more of a dream and just because a man fell through shouldn't have an affect on your career goals and dreams. One has nothing to do with the other. You cannot live without a job and a dream job will make life even better, you can on the other hand live without man. I know I did it for over 15 years, and yes, I got lonely once in a while, but you know what! I was just fine and you will be too.

Continue to work hard for your dream and once you succeed and accomplish your goals...that man won't be anywhere on your mind.

Chin up girlie!! You can get through this!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/19/2017:
thank you for your kind, compassionate, and knowledgable words...thank you for telling me the truth of things...and that i will be ok. you are for sure very right!


puddles on 01/19/2017:
I agree with innerpeace goals and dreams are very different. You are strong and you will get through this. Always better to know then to be guessing all the time. You have great things ahead of you girl.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2017:
Thank you for the support <3


Donkey on 01/19/2017:
(((((hugs)))))

Horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2017:
thank you xoxo



Horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Jan 18, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

6:30am ACV in seltzer with stevia and also a small bite of natural, local honey (trying to prevent my typically bad spring allergies from happening this year! - i think i have a major shot!) 50.  banana on way to work 120. 170 total.

8:30am - whenever i finish it - coffee with 2 equal and milk 50

Late Breakfast: 1 egg 70 on a wrap 60, cream cheese 80, small amount of turkey pepperoni 50 260.  Nuts from a coworker - from Phillipines - Pili nuts that are really healthy, with some honey on them. 200. Saving the sandwich for tomorrow morning i think! - will keep in fridge.

11am...and an old, crappy protein bar...was too hungry 150. (the darn nuts didn't satisfy - i doubt i had even 200 cals anyways).

can't wait to eat the healthy lunch i brought....eating this crap all morning hasn't been satisftying in the least!

12:45 maybe - healthy lunch of basmati rice 220, chicken 200? white meat, extra veg (satueed greens) on top 250 - 650 or so. AND AN Apple...very nice lunch! 100.

1350...cannot wait for lunch in a couple hours or less. too much less than satisfying junk this AM!!!!

1900 today. 

dinner more high in sugar, but filling. at least there was some squash in my dinner...along with ice cream and a protein muffin. eh, whatever. gonna call it a very early night.

5day: 1960.

_________________________________________________

Snack: prob a bar of leftover type not to be bought again, flavor is mint chip or something.   but i may decide no snack and just shoot for an early lunch...since it's nine and i've lost my appetite and have coffee to deter me from eating just yet :)

___________________________________________________

Slept ok last night...just up for an hour between like midnight to 1am. due to caffeine, it's ok, i'll have good sleep tonight again...probably :-)

When i was up in the middle of the night,  I decided to cook the cut up Kabucha squash that i had bought prepackaged from supermarket - they cut it - huge big slices - and i then microwave them and cut them up into small chunks which can be made into smoothie or rather a smooth consistency to add to all sorts of things.

I add a little cinnamon and stevia also of course to sweeten.  I turn them into desserts - the squash and other ingredients - i'll have some tonight as i now have around 4 cups of it already cooked now at home - glad i did it in middle of the night, actually!

Doing good. ACV working nicely this week. Eating less volume slightly and a bit more balanced. Yes feeling good with that. still having ice cream - the low cal halo top stuff. will NOT buy more when i run out. Going to take the rest of the winter off of it....i still have a bit left - like at least 5 full pints and leftovers of others! haha.

 

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!


Horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Jan 17, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.0

6:15-6:30am Home: hair of leftover kombucha 20 and ACV in diet tonic and seltzer and stevia (tasted horrible but wasn't throwing it out!)...worked nice.

9am Work: banana 120, Morniga tea (from coworker) wrap 60 with extra cream cheese 100 and turkey pepperoni 100: 

11am  Snack: ? maybe or early lunch, not sure. leaving no matter what at 4:30 and going next door to gym after work - and i'll be home early enough for dinner & an early bedtime...lots of important sleeping this winter, keeping me healthy. a bar, on the out, sorta hard would taste better if heated up? 200 cal.

12:45pm Lunch: very healthy - chicken with skin 200? pumpkin sauteed 200, potato 100 500 and chips 150.

1250...of course extra hungry today bc i'd been snacking all weekend

treat from coworker before exercise at gym  next door to save lots of time 130 and caffeine

1400 :-D around 450 after gym.

1900.

4day avg = 1975

______________________________________________________

On a whole other note, I'm beginning to see how independent i really like to be - i LOVE going ALONE to the park,being by myself...i DO NOT NEED constant companions and friends to be with ALL THE TIME....

on facebook, i'll post that i'm at park and friends say "call me when you are there and i'll join you..."...sometimes yes this is nice but sometimes i prefer to be ALONE. i'll never understand the need for needing someone to do what i enjoy doing and gives me so much enjoyment - alone...i don't need a constant companion....

....lately, more and more, i turn down people and events and it just feels good to say no when i really don't want to be part of something. i used to say yes more - especially involving music stuff when i was younger - and now i feel much more in control of the direction my life is headed, thankfully.

If people think they can step on my boundaries, they cannot. I am fully in charge of me and it feels wonderful.

like i don't need to go out to a bar every friday night or every weekend at all...drinking doesn't make me feel good especially the next day...i don't need constant socialization... i love my space and time to think...

___________________________________________________

Def huge caffeine cravings going on lol....already had 2 cups tea...blech...want to reach for more something even stronger. maybe i will...makes sense as i had a sleeping pill last night (but it was early, around 5:30pm, when  took it)...those darned things have lasting effects the next day but work so well. slept like a baby.  Overall, i'm feeling good - not sick.

My ankle is a little sore more from yesterday, but, overall i'm fine. the jogging / walking was only 1.6 miles (one time around the park is .83 mile as i looked it up).  i was also walking during a few errands, not a ton more walking, but enough to at least get in the 10k steps....overall, yesterday was good.

No plans on doing another jogging day any time soon  -but yes to continued strengthening and walking.

__________________________________________________

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 01/17/2017:
I can certainly understand alone time. I prefer it some times as well, however, a companion might not be so bad for safety reasons.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/17/2017:
as for safety you are right, but, it is basically safe. You have a point, but I am not concerned about my safety and do feel that if someone came over to me to harm me, i would kick him in the balls! haha


jayhawkjen on 01/17/2017:
Alone time is critical! Embrace it.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/17/2017:
I do love it so much...seems i cannot get enough of it!

I'm a true introvert, i guess!


grannyannie on 01/18/2017:
I love time on my own! I also love to socialize. I have even taken trips on my own. Got one planned for 5 nights in May on the Orkney islands.

Some healthy eating there, HOP!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/18/2017:
working REALLY hard to sleep well and stay very positive. not to get sick and to be moderate in whatever i can ... especially cardio!



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