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InnerPeace - Monday Mar 18, 2019

Weight: 0.0

Oh the weekend, was so sad to see you go.

Saturday, I got out of the house on my own, this rarely or never happens. I was trying to find a few new tops for our road trip at the end of the month. I walked through several stores and couldn't find anything I liked. It seemed like the clothes were either old womanish looking (now I may be 50, but I don't feel like an old woman) or too young looking. I just wasn't happy with the selections. After three stores I got frustrated and quit looking. Instead I started looking for 10x13 picture frames for pictures of the kids. Again, I hit up about three different stores and couldn't find anything I really wanted - really, really disappointed in Target...but that is another story.

Finally, I went to the grocery store and picked up the few items I needed and I was hell bent on not going home without a purchase. So I went to the Jo-Ann store and I did find some picture frames that were 40% off so I bought them. DH was irked because he send me a link from Amazon with three frames for $33 something...yes, but I wanted them now, I didn't want to wait until Amazon got around to ship them. It was a nice little outing but I'm really not a shopper and was glad to get home.

Sunday, laundry day. I was also on a mission to clean the inside glass on my stove door. This was a learning process and after watching two you tube videos about taking my oven door apart, I finally got this accomplished and I was very satisfied with the result. Now there is no grease trail running down the inside glass. DH did have to help me put the stove door back on, it is heavier than I thought, but mission accomplished.

We did eat Chinese food Saturday and left overs on Sunday, I think I'm pretty much finished with Chinese food for awhile.

Rocco got sick last night on the comforter, so I will be washing bed clothes tonight,  I was going to Kohl's to look for the tops I wanted, I usually find something there. so busy after work.

Food has been ok, trying to cut back on the sugar.

Crazy dreams with laundry and Caroll O'Conner (Archie Bunker) and war on the beaches of Normandy - WTF is going on in my brain???


horn_of_plenty on 03/18/2019:
And usually Target has like everything! So sad it didn't have you covered!

oh...i also have to clean my stove! Did you do it using vinegar solution?

wow...i couldn't make up your dream if i tried...Too much info indeed going on! that's good...means your brain works! LOL

legcramps on 03/18/2019:
Sounds like a great weekend! That is definitely a crazy dream! LOL!

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InnerPeace - Thursday Mar 14, 2019

Weight: 0.0

Thngs are going ok i guess.

Last night I made two pies for PIE DAY at work. Seriously??? I made cream cheesey pies. I licked the bowl and beaters. This morning I felt like I was ran over by a truck, probably from all the sugar. Woke up with a pounding headache too.

The girl is over tonight and I think I'm making Shepherd's Pie, but I haven't quite talked myself into that yet.

Rocco went to the vet for his second round of shots, DH said he did ok.

I did eat pie at work.

stupid pie!

butt is better. shin is better, not as sensitive.


horn_of_plenty on 03/14/2019:
i'm so glad you are feeling better on your butt and shin!

listen, if you are making pie and bringing it to work, i think most people are going to eat it including you!? i think i'd do the same!!!!!!

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InnerPeace - Tuesday Mar 12, 2019

Weight: 0.0

I have issues...these are issues I don't normally share with anyone, but this morning when I woke up a 3:30, DH was up and I told him. And you guys are lucky because you are going to know too. It's not something pleasant and it is the most awful thing I have ever in my life experienced. I think I have a hemmorhoid. OMG it woke me up this morning itching. DH asked me why I was up and I said because my butt itched. He kind of chuckled. I tried to get back to sleep but the alarm went off at 4:30 and I did Zumba this morning. It was a start of somthing. My arms are a little achy.

I started this exercise thing back up because there is a place on my shin that is senstive to touch, it stings and burns and is just uncomfortable. I had it tested for nerve damage, they said no, but i really disagree. I think it is skin damage or nerve damage from wearing combat boots for 20 years. It is just on my left leg, right where my boots would stop. Anyway, of course they say exercise will help the stinging and burning, and the losing of all the weight.

So the crazy thing about all this is...after I showered I was laying across my bed and I grabbed my phone and was checking/deleting email. I had an email from Health Guide telling me 7 reasons why you scratch your butt!! Seriously??? Is this stuff for real? Now I'm thinking my smart phone is spying on me.

My son got his PCS orders to go to Hawaii in August, so I am extra glad I will be visiting him in two weeks. Looking forward to this little road trip.

Next trip is the end of July/beginning of August and DH and the girl wanted to go to Nashville. I have been a couple of times before so I hope they enjoy the trip.

Anyway, besides being freaked out about this morning's email, things are going OK.

I may be back regular now, nothing on the burner per se for awhile.

Have a great night! IP

Horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2019:
just wanted to say thank you for posting...and i hope your butt is feeling a little better...def check that if you need to! ...i will write more, but, trying to fit in exercise now!

horn_of_plenty on 03/13/2019:
the shin pain can be from too much exercise at a time....any pain, rest until you feel better and do less the next time.

i am also dealing with slight minor pains, i was doing too much in the walking category and have tired out my legs / left ankle to the point of needed to rest!

oh now i read more of the shin pain, i'm sorry to hear it's an ongoing issue.

Great you will go and see your son! GREAT PLACES he'll be. i hope you get to visit them all, especially Hawaii.

i gotta say, Hawaii is best to go to get a break out of a cold winter or late fall or early spring (like now!)

innerpeace on 03/14/2019:
I lived in Hawaii for three years. I don't think I will ever go back.

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InnerPeace - Tuesday Feb 19, 2019

Weight: 0.0

The heater was fixed with a replaced igniter switch. House temperature was back to normal by the time I got home on Thursday. I talked to my mom and she is doing well had a great day doing what she likes to do, which is playing bingo and walking through thrift stores. She turned 74.

DH and I had a delightfully relaxing weekend. DH works 60-70 hours a week and he slept off and on all day Saturday. I was really OK with this, I got a few naps in as well.

Saturday night we ordered Chinese food (Beef & Brocolli, General Tso chicken, peanut chicken and a combination with (pork, chicken and shrimp). I had a few spoons of each of these with minimal rice.

Sunday the usual, I washed clothes and finally got all my clothes moved from the armoire to the new dresser. I donated some and tossed some. We had left over Chinese food for a late lunch and then about 6:30 I had a bowl of cereal.

Over all the weekend was good on the food, I never went over the 1500 calorie mark.

Monday, I woke up and went to my dental appointment. I had a cavity in one tooth, and now I have three new fillings. I don't remember discussing this with my dentist, but when the right side of my mouth was numb and the cavity being filled, he just went ahead and replaced to silver amalgum fillings in two teeth right next to the one with the cavity. I just don't remember talking about doing this and will not be happy when I get billed for the replaced fillings. This whole process my have taken 30 minutes, I can only imagine the hundreds of $$$ he will bill to my insurance.

While I was getting my teeth filled, DH went to pick up his Sam's club order and went to Aldi for a few things and picked me up on his way home.

All is good today for a Monday/Tuesday.

Have a great night!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2019:
It sounds like you had a good weekend especially taking a nap! Nothing better when you are tired and want one on the weekend!

I think i'll follow your lead and next weekend i'll stay home a bit more, too.

Chinese dishes sound so tasty! Nice job sticking to your calories!

I'd have been annoyed for SURE if a dentist didn't tell me what he was going to do before doing it! that is SO WRONG, indeed!

with the filling replacements, are they replaced with WHITE color or silver again?

I'm glad you are back home and back to being WARM! :)

Donkey on 02/20/2019:
Sounds like you're working a good plan!

InnerPeace - Thursday Feb 14, 2019

Weight: 0.0

I made dinner...

chili cheese tots, home made version which I made with fat free chili and low fat cheese. Ended the day with 1488 calories. I'm ok with this.

DH gets home by 10:30 so we are in bed by 11:00, just to be back awake about 2:00 because it was cold. I usually sleep with the fan on, but this was unusual cold. I got up to turn the fan on and snuggled back into the covers with the two dogs and DH. At 5:30 when I got up for work it was frigid, especialy when I got out of the shower.

DH went and checked the furnace, it was not coming on, the breaker box wasn't tripped. DH changed the filer but didn't know of anything else to do, so we called the repair man. It was 58 in the house. The repair man at first said he couldn't get over until tomorrow, but made it over by 9:30. DH was happy, as he is usually at home until 12:00 when he goes to work. He did start a fire this morning to take the chill out of the house while we were eating breakfast.

B: Carnationa instant breakfast with PB fit.

S: belvita

L: left over chili cheese tots, clementines

S: balanced breaks.

D: white chicken chili, DH put this together before I left for work and the girl likes it so he made this. Maybe got the idea from my chili cheese tots. i don't know, can you ever eat enough chili?

Today is my mom's birthday, I will call her later.

The girl who gave me chocoloate every day, brought a red velvet cake to work. I called her Satan, in jest of course. I will have to go in the breakroom and eat up my lunch. I am digging deep down for the will power to just walk away.

Hope you all have an enjoyable Valentine's Evening.

Donkey on 02/14/2019:
I hear you on willpower. Oh my goodness, I think today is the worst struggle yet. I can't believe how addicted I am to sugar.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
Chili Cheese Tots = YUM! what a cool dish! I'd like it, with a salad :) sounds very tasty, your meal!

I'm glad he did something to make your home more bareable! that is cold inside for a home! let us know what happens with your boiler...

chili is good, so is the idea for white chicken chili! i like some real meat with the chili, makes it more satisfying!

Happy Bday to your mom! what a fun day to have it!

it's ok to have a few bites of the cake. a few bites is moderate :)

enjoy your day!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2019:
oh, how old is your mom today?

legcramps on 02/15/2019:
Oh boy! Stay warm!

InnerPeace - Wednesday Feb 13, 2019

Weight: 0.0

Tuesday was a good day for a Tuesday.

I picked up the girl and get home. Cooked dinner, unloaded the dishwasher.


Loaded the dishwaher and prepared lunch for today.

Puppy didn't have an accident.

D: 5 oz salisbury steak patty (Hamburger meat with seasoning) mushroom and onions with onion gravy, 3/4 cup of mashed potatos and brocolli.

I did eat another package of Belvita because I got hungry about 7:30. The girl left at 8:00.

Finished the day with 1387 calories.

DH said he was working late, so I go to bed about 11:10, only to get back up because of...skunk! The two dogs ran in from outside along with skunk. I grabbed them because I didn't know which one was sprayed. It wasn't the puppy so I let him down, I gave Steve a bath...but I actually don't think he was sprayed either. The smell eventually went away, so it must of just blown into the house when they ran in. I didn't smell it this morning either AND I have a clean dog. With all the shenanigans I didn't get back to bed until about 1:20, so a bit tired this morning.

Had a pretty big project this morning and I have a few things to do today. Just hoping I can work again next week.

B: Carnation instant breaktast with PBFit and banana

L: left over salisbury steak, mashed potatos

S: belvita and clemintines (at seperate times)

D: TBD -

Have a great evening! IP

horn_of_plenty on 02/13/2019:
it does sound that there will not be another government shutdown...i wonder what will happen with agreeing on who will fund the wall!

innerpeace on 02/14/2019:
no just the breakfast drink and PB fit, I ate the banana on the side.

SilverySparkles on 02/13/2019:
Lucky that the skunk didn't run in too.

horn_of_plenty on 02/13/2019:
your breakfast sounds VERY GOOD!

nice idea to add some pb fit to it. did you blend it all including the banana?

legcramps on 02/14/2019:
Oh boy! I'm sorry to hear you didn't get much sleep; hopefully you'll be able to get in a early bedtime tonight and catch up a little bit.

InnerPeace - Tuesday Feb 12, 2019

Weight: 0.0

Monday was...well Monday. I hate being the the one to call vendors and telling them...we didn't pay our bill due to the fulough, please don't disconnect our service. The government is a big bully and shouldn't be given any special consideration because bills weren't paid because adults are being childness in political positions.  They all make me sick!

Monday was...great on the food side. I ended the day with 1382 calories. I didn't move around as planned, will have to work on this activity. Morning is by far the easiest for me to do activity/exercise, just have to wake up early enough, today...I overslept about 30 minutes (I seem to get the best sleep in 9 minute snooze intervals.

Today I am feeling bloated and gassy..must be all the vegetables I ate yesterday.

B: carnation instant breakfast, 1 cup of milk and 1TBSP of PB fit, banana

S: Belvita

L: Spring mix salad greens, carrot, tomato, broiled chicken and 2 TBSP shredded cheese, 2 TBSP ranch dressing and grapes.

D: salisbury steak, salad, mashed potatos, (brocolli or brussel sprouts) this is what the girl wanted for dinner and I can make it work for me.

A lady at work always gave me Ghiraradelli chocolate, at least two pieces a day. This day...Tuesday February 12, 2019...I told her no thank you. That I apapreciate her offer, but she mustn't bring me chocolate anymore. She then asked how can she support me....just don't offer me chocolate anymore. So we have terms now....

Have a great evening!! IP

 Where is BearCountryGG? Did I miss something? I miss reading her posts.



SilverySparkles on 02/12/2019:
It's good you could stop the chocolate gifts.

horn_of_plenty on 02/12/2019:
my mom loves those Belvita crackers....i can't do them...they don't keep me satisfied for long but they do taste nice!

legcramps on 02/13/2019:
Nice that she is wanting to support you - you don't always find that kind of support in an office setting.

I believe BearCountryGG went offline for a while.

InnerPeace - Monday Feb 11, 2019

Weight: 0.0

There are just no words to express my sadness and disappointment today.

Friday I picked up the girl and we decorated for DH's birthday. I cooked chicken and brocolli alfredo, it was good. DH got home and didn't even eat the alfredo he had cake instead.

Saturday we get up and go to our string craft I had signed us up for. I loved it. The girl was ok and DH could take it or leave it. We go home and wait for the dining room chairs to be delivered. After delivery we take the girl to her grandma's house and DH and I go to the Big Home and Garden Show that is out by the airport - close to where I work.

It was big and overwhelming, lots of people and hot. We went to buy a knife to add to our Cutco collection and also it was a gift for DH. We walked around a couple of hours and decided to leave, as we were still going to go out to eat for DH's birthday. On the way out, I had another PTSD episode when a blast of jet fuel  assaulted my nostrils. I just dropped down and covered my head. This smell took me back to a place/places I just cannot tolerate thinking about right now! I was eventually ok when it passed, about three minutes, but it sure seems like an eternity.

We pick up the girl and DH decides he wants to eat at Red Robin. I ate like a starving pig. We shared onion rings, I had a Southern charm  byrger that had 1220 calories, I ate half of it. I had the sweet potatoe fries (also half) and because that just wasn't enough I ordered the salted carmel milkshake - but again, I split this with DH. We go home and unwind...walk the dogs and watch TV.

Sunday - DH and the girl go shopping and I washed the clothes. DH brought home pizza for lunch. I just had the fat/weight/eating better converation with him yesterday. I had my left over burger for dinner. I told him he can eat what he wants, but I have got to get my weight under control. I am uncomfortable, almost miserable.

So after I enjoyed all this food over the weekend, my scale doesn't hide a thing. Today I am heavier than I have EVER been and I just refuse to get any heavier. 331.3 Unbelievable. I disgust myself.

And then when I get to work today, I am told one of people I went to the conference with back in August was killed in a car accident. This is so very sad to me and reminds me that tomorrow is not guaranteed.

But all I can do is start over and keep trying so I've admitted not actively working a program over the past few months...today is day 1.

B: High Protein carnation instant breakfast, 1 cup of milk, banana -340

L: small salad with mixed greens, tomato and carrots with 1 TBSP of ranch dressing (yes I mesaured this tablespoon). 1 hard boiled egg and egg white- 244

S: balanced breaks, grapes - 284

D: broiled chicken, brocolli and salad  is scheduled.

If I survive the day, I will try to do a zumba video or something with activity (more than what I have done in the last 3 months) at my house.

Yes, Yes, i definately have issues.

Have a great day! IP


thinkpositive on 02/11/2019:
I suppose it doesn’t help to know that we have all had days like yours but that is true. All we can do is get back on track - whatever that means to you. It sounds like you have done that. It just takes one day at a time, I wish you the best.

SilverySparkles on 02/11/2019:
You got through it, I'm sure it was difficult. Deciding to work on an eating program will help.

horn_of_plenty on 02/11/2019:
you have a habit of self negativity and when you are upset, you eat, then get more upset.

try to work on yourself emotionally. you are a good person. you give so much and do so much.

do you run around to too many activities which fuels overeating? for me, if i kept a schedule like yours, i wouldn't handle it every weekend bc for me i like some time at home. but we are different people, so what works for me may not work for you :)

don't hate yourself for making mistakes or not the best food choices. try to learn from it, but do not learn to keep hating yourself. you are a good person. a smart person! people rely on you at work and home.

you see, they rely and trust you....now you just have to trust you!

Donkey on 02/12/2019:
I think reaching my highest non-pregnancy weight is what got me started this last time around as well.

InnerPeace - Wednesday Feb 06, 2019

Weight: 315.4

It doesn't feel like it's been 5 days since I've last journaled anything.

Though I don't feel busy, I guess I do get lots done.

The contractor came over Monday and finished the kitchen, except for one small strip of wood that goes on the floor. He ordered it and it should be here in 10-14 days. But other than that my kitchen looks fantastic.

Last thing...the chairs will be delivered Saturday. that is four chairs for the kitchen table and three for the breakfast bar and the kitchen should be finally complete. It was a long four months...but well worth the wait.

Both of the dogs...Rocco and Steve went to the veternarian's office yesterday. Shots for all...they were not happy puppers, and they didn't run around the house all night, this was a nice break.

Monday I made leftovers - left over teriaki chicken and left over pizza, which was really well done. DH ate this. I ate the chicken. I think I'm sick of chicken though for now.

Tuesday I made a hamburger steak pattey with grilled onions and garlic parmesean rice and brocolli. It was nice.

Wednesday- I am getting the girl and we are going to pick up DH's birthday gift. His birthday is tomorrow. We will celebrate it Friday when we are all togehter. Because we will be out the girl decided on Chipolte again. I am ok with this, as we each get what we want. I ordered DH a cake I will pick up tomorrow on my way home from work.

This weekend we are going to The Big Home and Garden show and will get some nice walking in.

Other than that, I just need to move my clothes into the new dresser, this has taken longer than expected because...things!

Still not working any kind of plan, I will...I just need to be in the right mind set.

I will continue to fight.

Have a great day. IP

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/06/2019:
my parents had redone their kitchen and believe it or not, they waited like 5-10 years before finishing it with the backplash done - to cover the wall in back of the kitchen countertops!!!!! they are bad with that...with keeping up with the little things i guess.

when you mentioned the little wood strip being delivered in 10-14 days, it makes me think of my parents, who waited years to finish their new kitchen!

you get sick of the chicken (meat) i know here and there!

Lately, like you, i'm enjoying parm cheese. I've been putting a very little bit of it, mixing it, into my cooked vegetables for a REALLY nice flavor. All week i'm enjoying that with tofu. a bit too much fiber, but, tasty.

and Chipotle is rather healthy! i don't have one as conveniently located as i'd like...if i did, i'd probably be ordering it quite often.

I'm glad you are back to work, lady! That was overdue since day 1 you were out ;)

Donkey on 02/06/2019:
Every day is Day 1.

legcramps on 02/07/2019:
Glad to hear the kitchen is almost done! How nice to get back to a normal routine in the kitchen again!

InnerPeace - Friday Feb 01, 2019

Weight: 315.4

The girl came over at 8:30 yesterday  and spent time with DH while he was home.

The sink and garbage disposal was installed and I can use running water in my kitchen again. We opted for a single tub instead of the two tub sink we had. The single tub is deeper and seems bigger - more dirty dishes to pile into it...just kidding I use the dish washer. And now that the kitchen is complete I'm finding it hard to get in there and use it...I don't want the newness to go away.

DH left for work at 1:00 so the girl stayed alone (for the first time) for 3.5 hours, until I got home from work. She texted me a few times and said she was bored. This is how teens usually get into trouble when they get bored. She watched TV and did some drawing and she even made a picture of tea. She played with the dogs and stayed out of trouble until I got home right at 4:30.

The dogs hated the cold and I was sad to make them go out to use the bathroom...the puppy didn't care for it one bit and refused to use the bathroom out side, so he came in and promptly pooped on the floor. GRRR

B: 2 eggo waffles

L: left over pizza

D: chicken ranch wrap and a few french fries

S: belvita breakfast cookies

DH has been selling stuff on the facebook market thing. He sold some kitchen lights we had up so we will be driving to Sandusky to hand over the lights. We have other shopping to do so it will not be a wasted trip.

B: 2 eggo waffles


S: balanced breaks, 1 no bake cookie from work

D: teriaki chicken and fried rice.

Been busy at work and there is a lot going on...just to be told this shutdown crap could happen again in two weeks.  SO this sucks.

Have a great weekend. IP

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2019:
....LOVE roasted brussel sprouts! yum!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Donkey on 02/02/2019:
Love FB marketplace!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/02/2019:
girl is at an age where it's ok to be alone and i'm glad she was ok. if she is bored, i think it's good you help her figure out activities she can do at home. she's at an age where she does need to be able to be on her own a little and figure out what to do with herself. i wasn't so good at it that age, but, you can help her. my parents didnt' really help me iwth that because they put me into music groups but when they ended and i had free time, i didn't use it well.

you always bring the girl here and there...but she also needs to be able to do something with her free time :) this was a good first attempt.

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