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view Jayhawkjen bio page
Jayhawkjen - Saturday Mar 30, 2019
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 149.0

 Wow, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since my last entry! I’m still going strong on Naturally Slim and have far exceeded my wildest expectations. It’s kind of interesting to be a part of this program for so long and to be able to reflect on all I’ve learned about myself. I am at my wedding weight now, and well below my high school weight, (class of ‘83).  I was at Old Navy today and the size 12 shorts were too big.  What? Soooo crazy.

My relationship with food has changed so much.  I am not fighting it, I’m enjoying it. Nothing is off-limits. I’ve learned to ask myself if I am enjoying a food, and if not, I stop eating it. I have leaned to ask myself if I’m hungry before I eat. I have learned that hunger is good because I will enjoy my favorite foods so much more. But most importantly I have learned that if I have a bad day, eat too much, or whatever, then it’s a learning opportunity, not an opportunity to beat myself up.

My final goal is 145.  I have never been able to maintain anything under 155-160 but this time seems different.  I will let you all know. I hope you are all doing great!  

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -21 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/30/2019:
Wow, congratulations on your success!

Donkey on 03/31/2019:
I'm quite impressed! So happy to hear that you are at peace with food. I'd say it's worth it right there, just to have a healthy perspective on food.

Miss hearing from you! Are you exercising too? Or mostly focused on diet & nutrition?

Donkey on 03/31/2019:
I know you said that your final goal is 145. I would be interested in hearing how you are as you slide into maintenance. :)

horn_of_plenty on 04/01/2019:
CONGRATS! for me it's the same as you: NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS!

I think your goal is realistic and great! KEEP ON with your new relationship with food.

it's all about lifestyle and it truly sounds like you've incorporated this "diet" into a lifestyle approach that suits you well! thanks for stopping by to update us!

legcramps on 04/01/2019:
Sounds like you're doing great!

thinkpositive on 04/02/2019:
So happy for you! I am interested in this approach but the cost seems high. Are there other plans that are similar?

Jayhawkjen - Saturday Apr 14, 2018
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 159.6

I am no longer overweight. I can’t believe I just wrote that “out loud”. Wow, it’s been so many years and honestly I never thought I’d be able to say it again in my life. I started this journey in the obese range and was thrilled when I crossed over into “overweight,” and now... tihis. When I started at 205, I really thought my goal of 170 was impossible. I never dreamed I’d pass it up and get to a normal weight.

Things I have learned (and hope to always remember):

It’s OK to get hungry. In fact it’s great! Hunger means it’s time to give my body something really yummy and it enables me to enjoy my food to the fullest. I can tolerate hunger when it means I can eat delicious food, in fact, I look forward to it.

If I don’t pay attention and savor my food, then it’s difficult to stop eating.

If I don’t eat something truly delicious, it’s difficult to stop eating.

I can’t drink alcohol every day, or more than once or twice per week unless I want to gain weight.

It’s not “all or nothing.” If I mess up, eat too much, then I stop, think about the “why” and try to learn without judging myself. Letting go of that self-hatred and anger allows me to stay on track and just keep plugging along.

I’m grateful to Naturally Slim for these lessons. I’m not trying to promote it, but it really worked for me. It wasn’t about quick weight loss, but about lasting change. I’ve spent a lifetime on this struggle and I thought I knew every diet and every technique, but Naturally Slim was radically different than anything I’ve ever done.

I hope this website has a long future, but if not, I will really miss it. I’ve been using it for probably 20 years. This is such a kind, supportive community and a safe place to share your struggles with people who “get it”. I appreciate everyone who has shared their journey here and wish everyone the very best.

Have a great weekend, fellow DDers. I’m getting ready to smoke a big ol’ brisket and enjoy the day.

Progress as of today: 45.4 lbs lost so far, only -10.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 04/14/2018:
*Congratulations!* I'm thrilled for you -- YOU DID IT!

I agree 100% with the lessons leaned from your journey. I tried to pick out a favorite, and I can't, because they're all very true.

I guess the one that made me read twice was "If I don't eat something truly delicious, it's difficult to stop eating." YES! Life is to be savored and enjoyed. Why waste time eating junk food that doesn't satisfy? Make the best choices for ourselves!

jayhawkjen on 04/14/2018:
Thanks, Donkey! So funny how you have to learn some lessons over and over. The other night I had a mediocre dinner and I just kept nibbling afterwards and I realized I was full but I was NOT satisfied. Conversely, I had an amazing lunch the day beforehand and I didn’t want anything else the entire day.

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
Congratulations on your achievement.......You have given me much to think about.....I will go get the book...and I will also check out your naturally thin site. I too want to just learn to enjoy food...all food....with no obsessive behaviors attached. I also want to be able to hear criticisms without having to go and binge after...but that has been my life pattern.......I need to relearn how to handle people that are just trying to help me...Thanks again for understanding what I deal with.

jayhawkjen on 04/14/2018:
Hi Bear. Naturally Slim is actually an on-line program that takes about a year. I was lucky because my work offered it for free, but I think it usually costs about $350 or $400 for the year-long program. The person who invented it and teaches it is Marcia Upson and she’s a nurse practitioner. I don’t know if it would work for everyone, but I really loved it because it taught me how to eat all my favorite foods and lose weight. In fact, if you try to do the program and continue to eat traditional diet foods like salad, it won’t work. You have to eat your most favorite food, except sweets. But even sweets can be eaten in moderation and she teaches you how. The program also addresses emotional reasons for eating. Like I said, it’s a commitment, and lasts about a year, whatever you do, good luck to you!!

jayhawkjen on 04/14/2018:
Hi Bear. Naturally Slim is actually an on-line program that takes about a year. I was lucky because my work offered it for free, but I think it usually costs about $350 or $400 for the year-long program. The person who invented it and teaches it is Marcia Upson and she’s a nurse practitioner. I don’t know if it would work for everyone, but I really loved it because it taught me how to eat all my favorite foods and lose weight. In fact, if you try to do the program and continue to eat traditional diet foods like salad, it won’t work. You have to eat your most favorite food, except sweets. But even sweets can be eaten in moderation and she teaches you how. The program also addresses emotional reasons for eating. Like I said, it’s a commitment, and lasts about a year, whatever you do, good luck to you!!

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
I ordered the book....and 3 others...they will be good reading...from a different angle than I have been studying...should keep me busy this winter/spring

happy-1 on 04/14/2018:
Hugs. It is great to see you doing so well! I don't know what I would do without dd either.

Maria7 on 04/14/2018:
Congratulations to you! I remember how I felt when I reached the 'no longer overweight' category too. Happy for you!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2018:
congrats on your major successes! you have done what so many people still can't imagine themselves doing.

i had no idea that you used DD around 20 years! I didn't know anyone had used it this long...and i do hope it stays up for many years to come as well.

i also find that if i eat too fast, and don't savor food, it leaves me very unsatisfied.

Jayhawkjen - Sunday Mar 11, 2018
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 163.8

Hi there, friends,

OK, I’ve mentioned this before, and it might seem silly to some, but I absolutely hate it when people comment on my weight loss! And for some reason it’s happening multiple times every day now, even though I haven’t lost any significant weight lately. I think I’ve lost 10 pounds over the last six months, and maybe one pound over the last month.

Anyhoo, I’d be interested if this bothers anyone else. It seems like whenever people start commenting, I begin to gain. Why do I hate the compliments and comments? Because it’s embarrassing that I was noticeably fatter before. Because it puts a lot of pressure on me about weight. Because my body is my business. Because I don’t know what to say to the questions, “have you lost weight?” “what are you doing?” Like, I really don’t want to go on a long discourse about this intensely personal journey. And if I gain it back then it was a stupid plan to begin with, right? And I was dumb to think I could ever be thin for real. I’ve gained and lost 40-50 pounds more times than I can count and I’m so afraid this is not the end and I don’t want it to be so public. Ughhhhhh!!!!

Can you relate?

Progress as of today: 41.2 lbs lost so far, only -6.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2018:
Yes i can relate...it usually helps me a bit on here to hear good comments but sometimes if i am having trouble or something it can also throw me off....eh, really, when people ask if you lost weight, you can say "no, i'm the same ...or doing the same as usual."

anyways, be confident and try not to let other's opinions sway you. try to realize that you are in control - not everyone else in control of you!

horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2018:
Yes i can relate...it usually helps me a bit on here to hear good comments but sometimes if i am having trouble or something it can also throw me off....eh, really, when people ask if you lost weight, you can say "no, i'm the same ...or doing the same as usual."

anyways, be confident and try not to let other's opinions sway you. try to realize that you are in control - not everyone else in control of you!

horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2018:
oh, so don't be afraid the past will happen again...you are afraid for the past to come back at you....do not let the past or other people's comments change your mentality....be confident. weight is based on calories...and food choices...do not let anyone derail you or blame a derailment on others...you got this.

horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2018:
remember, even if others affected your gains/loss of weight, it's you in the end that is responsible. so i want you to be confident you can overcome these fears.. if you don't know what to say, say you are just doing your routine ...and if they keep asking and you don't want to answer, repeat your answer. if they persist, just say you don't know what they mean, you aren't changing anything. you don't have to have a good asnwer ;) to anyone's question if you don't want to. don't fear the question, just come up with a short answer..like, you are just doing your thing, you are sticking to your routine, you haven't changed anything. if they persist, say the same thing again and ask them how they are doing to get the topic off you.

graindart on 03/12/2018:
It's usually the exact opposite for me. I enjoy the fact that people actually notice, but then again I was extremely overweight having now lost 100 lbs over the past year. For me it's actually an encouragement and a reminder that I don't want to relapse. I think everyone that's been overweight and lost some has the fear that they'll gain it all back. I've been there and done that, several times. Working to make sure this time is different. There have been a few thinner people that have mentioned my weight loss over the past year, but the majority that have mentioned it have been overweight themselves. Their first question is usually if I've lost weight (which is pretty obvious). The 2nd question is usually "how?". My opinion is that they're just hoping that you have some secret answer to easily drop weight. When I tell them it's from counting calories every single day, they're usually pretty disappointed since they realize that it takes work.

trishpiglet3 on 03/12/2018:
Soooooooo much hate it. I'm fine with 'You look well' or even 'you look healthy' but commenting on my weight annoys the hell out of me.

Before I had a pneumococcal vaccine, I used to get 3-4 chest infections a year, and with each one I'd drop a ton of weight (not healthily). One time a colleague commented with "You've lost weight" and I said "Yes, I've been really ill" ...to which she said "Make sure you don't put it back on." and I wanted to throw something at her.

Worse (for me) is people suddenly feeling it's OK to put their hands around my waist to feel how slim it is when I've lost weight. The last person who did that (again a colleague) came from behind while I was washing up the office mugs and I just froze.

I think there's also that we lose weight for ourselves and for our health and, when someone comments on that, it can feel like a comment on our value as a human being (which weight shouldn't be). It adds pressure and yes, like you said above, a reminder that we were bigger before.

Donkey on 03/12/2018:
Funny you mention this today as this came up a couple of times at work today, like I had no idea.

I can completely understand how this would be invasive, but if we were in real life, I would put my hand on your shoulder and encourage you not to let other people's comments throw you off track. I don't think their intentions are to imply you were fatter back then -- although, I do see how you deduce that, quite logically. Most folks are in "the here and now" and don't think about the impact of their words. Like Trish said, suppose you had been really sick and that's how you lost the weight?

And let me add that Grain is 100% right when people want to know "HOW?" like there's some secret. I've been very upright with how boring it is: water, vegetables, walking. There's no secret: IT TAKES HARD WORK.

bearcountrygg on 03/14/2018:
I'm guilty of that too....I have told Hubby and a friend that it was better if they don't mention my losses......I self sabotage too.

Jayhawkjen - Monday Dec 11, 2017
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 167.0

I've noticed that when I'm about to lose a few pounds, I have an intense urge to eat.  I just kinda try to acknowledge it and keep it to a minimum.  It helps me to recognize this and then I'm less likely to cave in.  

Just an observation.  

I hope everybody's doing great!  

Progress as of today: 38 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/11/2017:
Body saying...HEY...your starving me....seems like a battle for the caveman times doesn't it? So frustrating.

horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2017:
Agree with BCGG..it's just what happens when we restrict .... you have to prevent it by planning well for when you do eat other things.

jayhawkjen on 12/12/2017:
Actually, now that I know what’s happening, that I’m about to lose, I embrace it! It doesn’t bother me. Same with being hungry, I just think to myself, “I’m burning fat and when I’m ready, I can eat whatever I want until I’m satisfied”. It’s a whole new mindset

horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2017:
oops, i thought also i was commenting on Happy-1's page...oops.

i like your mindset here....i was a little more abrupt and to the point bc i was commenting i thought to Happy..she's doing something where she's limiting her food for 3 days to only oatmeal and eggs...and i was saying that is what happens - you feel really hungry wanting all the calories and other food!

For you though - as you lose weight, you may feel slightly hungry as you say or very hungry as your body is changing. I applaud you for going with it...and i applaud your mindset now!

try to also plan for when you are hungry - vegetables - to eat with your meals...rice and carbs are good, small portions...and protein is needed of course....always i make veggies my biggest part of my plate when i sit down to a bigger meal.

Keep on, i applaud you!

Donkey on 12/16/2017:
That's a good approach! Being mindful, I feel, is half the battle. Keep up the good work!

Jayhawkjen - Sunday Nov 19, 2017
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 169.0

Wow, I just realized that I met my goal! I forgot that I set 170 as my goal way back in December 2016. It seemed impossible at the time.

I’m still plugging along, doing Naturally Slim but not really. If I’m going to be totally honest, I’m following it about 50% at most. It’s enough to maintain or lose maybe 1 pound per month. Part of me wants to get down to 160, but another part of me is resisting. I think I might be pretty content at this weight which is why I’m not that motivated to follow my program. And the other trap I’ve fallen into all my life is that I never reach maintenance. Like once I hit my goal, it’s never enough and I want to keep going. And then I can’t get there and I just give up and go back to old habits.

So maybe I’ll just keep using what I’m doing for now and if I feel really inspired at some point then I’ll kick it into gear.

Progress as of today: 36 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/19/2017:

You are so wise to recognize that an endless pursuit of "just a little more to lose" is counterproductive. I'm kind of there at this point, but resolved to let my body decide where it wants to be.

So if you like the new habits you've established, keep them up and see where your body will eventually settle. Otherwise, welcome to the land of Maintenance :-)

Horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2017:
Congrats for sure!

If you are happy with your goal, why not work on maintaining for now, let your body get used to it's new weight! I would say spend some months doing things right and learning to keep your current weight!

I think you are making the fully right choice. Congrats SO MUCH on how far you have come, what an inspiration to us all!!!!!

You did such a good job, give yourself a reward, not in food lol but it could be!

I would rejoice if i were you, and learn to keep that weight steady!

after awhile (6 months or a year?), you can decide where to go from there!

bearcountrygg on 11/19/2017:
Congrats on meeting your goal...even if you didn't know you did!!!!

Maria7 on 11/21/2017:
Congratulations on reaching your goal. Have a good day.

Jayhawkjen - Saturday Sep 02, 2017
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 172.2

I read through my entire journal here on Diet Diaries and it was really interesting and valuable! I tend to forget where I was when I started this thing... I'm so glad I wrote it down! I have come such a long way but it just feels normal now. its great motivation to keep going when I realize how much better my life is with the changes I've made.

I had another little loss yesterday and I was down to 171.2 which was super exciting but I'm back up today in the 172's. Last night I started to have a beer after work. I had kind of a ****ty day and I've been a little depressed lately. But I took one sip and poured it out. It didn't taste great and I know alcohol is my trigger to big eating. For some reason I have an impulse to eat big and drink at the beginning of a weekend, like it's some kind of private celebration, but then it leads to a whole weekend of big eating and ultimately I feel bad and spend the week trying to undo the damage. So, long story short, I'm glad I dumped the beer! I didn't eat great afterwards but it was ok under the circumstances. My son had a football game last night and we were tailgating. We just brought a pizza and ate it standing up which is not conducive to mindful, slow eating. Oh well, focus on the positive and move on.

Happy Labor Day weekend everyone! Enjoy!

Progress as of today: 32.8 lbs lost so far, only 2.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/02/2017:
Good for you pouring out that beer that didn't taste good....You have learned something that many if not most people that have lost weight never learn....and that is... how to keep it off. I know for myself I am akin to a human garbage can...it's hard for me to throw away food..for some reason eating it seems like the right thing to do....It's real work getting to the point of not eating something because it exists..not because I really want it. You are doing great....I'm sure your past posts are interesting...I plan to read them myself.

horn_of_plenty on 09/05/2017:
Hi JayHawk! Congrats on your personal weight loss and lifestyle achievement from your starting point until now! I wouldn’t worry about a gain from one single day till the next as it can be bloating, salt, or any number of things! If you are making good choices, it will surely drop back down by the week’s end – fingers crossed! OMG alcohol def lowers my tolerance also to limit food and I also tend to want to eat more when I drink…of course! I also have a tendency at certain times to want to “eat big.” I actually fully gave into that temptation last night, Monday Labor Day off from work. It was a weekend of both socializing & sticking with my goals….but after the beach yesterday I was TOTALLY STARVING. Luckily, I had tons of this really hearty (no clue what type but it’s I believe an Asian variety) of cooked squash that I picked up already sliced and baked. I think they put in some kinda pine nut or seed. Pretty sure they were pine nuts. It was delicious and I pigged out on it. I totally let myself binge and was then FREEZING after as I ate so much my body was seriously hardly functioning aside from being in the mode of digestion….but funny thing is, I do NOT regret it. I mean, the whole drive home I was dreaming of eating the squash and then I did….but if the squash had been fries, it would have been a calorie Bomb! Luckily, it was cooked, not sautéed or stir fried, healthy squash with little oil…

On days that you want to eat big, there’s a good option to plan for eating big….and I did have a few of my friend’s mcdonalds fries on the drive home to satisfy that craving also….before arriving home to tear up the squash. You can always overeat on veg and then supplement with little tastes of the actual good stuff…at least this is how I work around it..!

I like that you are ok with how you ate given the circumstances bc it’s not healthy to always regret one’s choices! These days, I am also much happier with the choices I make and usually have FAR FEWER regrets.

Jayhawkjen - Thursday Aug 31, 2017
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 172.2

 Hi everyone!  Just checking in every so often.  Weight loss has slowed considerably but that's OK.  I"m still plugging along with Naturally Slim - month 6 or so.  I really like this program -- I feel like I have been set free from a prison of sorts.  I was pretty miserable at 205 lbs.  Weight loss has been slow enough that I have gotten used to being smaller and feeling SO much better.  I have to remember to not take it for granted.  

I hope everyone is happy and healthy!  

Progress as of today: 32.8 lbs lost so far, only 2.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/31/2017:
Hi......nice weight loss , and almost there at your goal!

jayhawkjen on 08/31/2017:
Thank you!

horn_of_plenty on 09/01/2017:
Congrats, super congrats as i know a life change is not easy but it sure is doable!, ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS! How wonderful!

I agree that when weight loss is slower, you can get used to maintaining your weight and knowing what you need so that there's less of a chance of constantly yo-yoing on diets when you undereat and overeat.

Like you, the last time i lost the practically "last 10 pounds," it was super slow and i've never gained it back. learned out to eat less but more volume (veggies) and increased my exercise as i got more fit.

adding in cardio since spring has really helped me maintain!

Donkey on 09/02/2017:
Slow and steady wins the race! So good to hear from you!

Jayhawkjen - Tuesday Jul 04, 2017
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 175.4

Hey friends, sorry I've been gone so long. I'm still going strong with NS. Every day is not perfect but that's ok. Overall it's a major, major change, and that's my focus, i.e., the big picture. It's about learning new habits, because once it's a habit, it becomes easy, you don't even think about it. And then you can work on adding even more habits.

I was on a long plateau and I thought maybe that was it, all I could lose. And honestly, I was pretty fine with it. In the past week or so I've lost a couple of pounds. I've done a little strength training but surely not enough to make a difference, I think it might be that I've been on a steak binge lately. Maybe I've been unintentionally low carb. Who knows? My other thought is that we've been spending a lot of time at the lake recently and I know I eat more there. But then I go back to my normal during the week days. So maybe I fool my metabolism by eating more and then less.

I hope everyone is doing great!

Progress as of today: 29.6 lbs lost so far, only 5.4 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2017:
Hi Jay…it’s ok! Happy 4th and I am glad to see your presence again on DD!!!

Yes, even after counting calories for almost 15 years in my own life, some days are not perfect – bc WE ARE ALL HUMAN! It’s ok and you are right – it’s the BIG PICTURE that is what counts! Way to go. You have it right about the habits. Habits are easy – the hard part is only in making something a habit – but it’s possible at any age and any time in our lives! Beautiful thing!

Eating more and then eating less is GOOD for the metabolism bc it is constantly getting different amounts and is therefore not slowing due to only eating very restricted, low amount only. It’s good to throw in higher cal days. If you google it, you’ll find that is def the case. It’s better for you, too, so you don’t always feel hungry each day.

Perhaps your higher cal days when combined with low cal days is not making enough deficit to lose which means that, if you are having trouble losing, you may have to decrease slightly the amount you are eating on your high cal days…or just adjust one of the high cal days and see if it makes a difference.

Jayhawkjen - Tuesday May 23, 2017
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 179.0

 According to Naturally Slim, exercise doesn't really help much with weight loss, but it is critical to maintenance.  That's a big shift in my thinking, and maybe why I've always re-gained.  Also, it's kinda hard to know when you're entering the maintenance phase, at least for me.  In the past, I never quite achieved my weight loss goal, or if I did, I'd always think:  "This is great, but 10 pounds more would be even better!"  

So I've been thinking about that lately.  I have certainly been exercising more in an effort to lose weight, but if my current weight is my new baseline, then I should definitely keep it up. With that in mind, I did my before-work "workout" which consists of walking quickly around the campus and running stairs.  I have gym-phobia, so I have to come up with workouts that I can do without the benefit of fancy equipment.  It only took 20 minutes, but I felt good afterwards.  


Progress as of today: 26 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/23/2017:
I agree with all your above thinking, 100%

Why do you have a gym-phobia ? because it's unnatural to your past? Is it you aren't use to it....i used to be this way, but chose to accept feeling out of place at the beginning - now it feels like home to me!

Donkey on 05/24/2017:
Thank you for getting what I mean about having gained weight in my fingers!

That's quite an amazing revelation about exercise/eating/maintenance. I too have had the rather "disordered" thinking that "just the last 10 pounds" that never arrives. This time around, I'm trying very hard to come to a point of acceptance, and then changing my focus from numbers to other types of progress.

After all, they do say that weight loss is 80% menu and 20% exercise. I believe it!

I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way about the gym, but I totally get it. Been there myself. It is so bad with me that I once re-joined a gym where I had previously felt very comfortable at, but quit to try exercising at home, which didn't work. So a year later, I re-joined and I was so scared. And this was a small-town, very casual place! So silly of me...

Jayhawkjen - Friday May 19, 2017
(Naturally Slim)
Weight: 179.0

Weight loss seems slow, but it's still happening. I have to ask myself if I could be happy at this weight and the answer is "yes." Would I like to be 20 lbs lighter? Absolutely! But I have to be realistic and able to maintain a realistic weight for me. In the past I have been greedy and I tried to get to a weight that isn't in my genetic make up. I succeeded, but not for long. I think I've gotten down to 140, maybe 137 or so, but I was eating less than 1,000 calories a day and I'm not willling to so that ever again. Another few times I've gotten to about 155 which is also pretty thin for me. I can wear a size 8-10 at that weight. Right now I've gone from squeezing into a size 18 to a size 14 and I feel pretty darn good. I realize it might sound like I'm finished trying to lose, but that's not the case, I'm just trying to be realistic and develop a lifestyle I can sustain. If I continue to lose: awesome. If not, I will be happy to maintain this weight.

An interesting thing about my weight loss this time is that nobody has noticed. Well, almost nobody. One person in my office. But other than that, not a soul. Not my husband, kids, friends. I think I would prefer that nobody notice, to be honest. For me, it's super embarrassing to have to answer questions about how I did it, etc, because if people notice I've lost weight then it means they noticed I was big. Also it's double embarrassing when I gain and I know they notice but don't say anything. It's such a struggle.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Progress as of today: 26 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

Donkey on 05/20/2017:
One thing I've learned in this journey is that you have to be comfortable in your own skin in order to maintain any kind of weight loss. Clothing sizes, numbers on a scale, etc., lose their meaning if you're suffering to lose or maintain the loss. Take it from an old donkey like me... learn from my mistakes while you still have your youth to enjoy.

It sounds like you are in a really good place. Eat healthy & stay active - good life will follow.

Donkey on 05/20/2017:
PS What you mentioned about people noticing or not noticing really has made me think. I never gave it much thought as to people noticing that I've gained weight, but I'm sure they did. One time, I was in an awkward position, with my posterior up and one of my co-workers said, "Oh my!" and I know he was referring to the size of my big butt. It didn't bother me at the time, for some reason.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/22/2017:
Hi Jaybird!

Yes, I do agree with your statement that goals MUST be realistic. If they are too much a stretch, it’s not gonna work…I think you are smart to be realistic about a LONG TERM maintenance plan and weight to succeed at work towards staying at. Me too. I used to be a tad under what I weigh now. But I def had far less arm muscle. I used to weigh around 5 lbs less than I do now (but I look hot now – with more upper body muscles.) And this upper weight is MUCH easier to maintain.

Like you, when I weighed less, I was also eating FAR LESS and bingeing more! Like you, I have decided this weight is maintainable and realistic for me NOW. We learn a lot thru life as we experience living at these different weights. I do feel it gets easier the more we experience and learn about ourselves – and we become MORE realistic hopefully and love ourselves MORE hopefully too!

Maybe you lost weight slower this time? Or people are not as annoying this time? I’m glad it’s not a super embarrassing thing all over again. Keep up the good work, J-Bird. It’s probably a slower loss – people notice it less. Which is better for maintenance anyways…the slower loss, gradually.

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