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Jayhawkjen - Tuesday Jan 17, 2017
(Not sure)
Weight: 204.4

 I've been thinking a lot -- about where I am and where I want to go.  I've lost weight so many times, only to gain it back and more . I remember when I was 155, believing I was fat....  Now I would kill to be there again!  If only I had never tried to diet, I would not be in this situation now.  But at this point, it is what it is.  For the past few years, I've basically lived under the belief that I could never diet again, because I would only end up bigger.  But I think that part of me uses that mentality as a "go wild" excuse.  Not that I really "go wild" as in bingeing, but I certainly had my fill of candy, sweets, chips, beer and wine.  And it has caught up with me.  I'm at an age where I really do have to start worrying about diabetes, heart disease, etc.

So I started this thing with the idea that if I stopped drinking (with all the accompanying snacks) that I would lose weight.  It has been about a month and I haven't lost anything.  Nonetheless, I feel sooooo much better having cut alcohol.  Oh, sure... I still have a drink or three with friends, but I was drinking every day after work, and that has stopped.  I've gone from 14-20 drinks/week to maybe 3-4.  And that's huge.  (It's embarrassing to admit how much I was drinking, geez!)  I'm sleeping better, feel better, and so many fewer headaches.  I was also feeling guilty and worried that I was developing a problem with alcohol.  

Where do I go from here?  I can't stand hauling this weight around and feeling terrible about myself.  I think I have to tackle sugar.  I'm still waiting to find out if I'm accepted in to Naturally Slim, but I peeked at the principles, and one of the first things they ask is to cut out sugar.  The more I read and research, it sounds like sugar is really, really bad.  I know it is, and it's everywhere.  Today I threw out my office stash of Butterfingers, (only two left, but still...)  The Christmas candy can be thrown out now without anybody noticing, so I'll do that, too.  In the past I have had success with low carb diets, but I don't think I'll go there at this time.  Just baby steps, right?  So I'm going to cut back on sugar and see if it helps.

The other thing I know I need to do is exercise.  I have gained about 20 lbs since I got my iPhone.  Deep down, I know that I've gained weight because of all the time I spend on my phone and iPad.  Facebook is such a weird addiction.  There's hardly anything interesting on it, and all the political poison is making me bitter.  I've tried deleting the app and telling myself that I can still access it on the internet if I must.  Touching that little app button is so easy, and next thing you know, it's an hour later and I could have been walking.  There are (ironically) apps that you can use to limit your screen time.  I downloaded one, then gave up on it immediately.  I think I will tackle sugar first, and then work on the screen addiction.  I need to keep myself busy -- which should be pretty easy to do, but somehow is not.  

Progress as of today: 0.6 lbs lost so far, only 34.4 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/17/2017:
You don't have to make all the changes overnight, no. As you figure out one change, and you get used to it, then add in another. It can take a couple months just to get used to one change, like the drinking that you've reduced so well. that's all there is to it!

You got this!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/17/2017:
i use fb to relax at the end of the night...but not as into it as i used to be for some reason - maybe bc i go on so much that i'm not as interested to be on for long periods. maybe allow yourself to browse fb as you walk on threadmill if possible.

Donkey on 01/17/2017:
It's the political stuff that's toxic. I feel your pain. I've actually taken to unfollowing some of my "best friends" because of what they've revealed about their true beliefs. SMH.

grannyannie on 01/18/2017:
I'm very bad at gaining-losing-gaining-losing. Not good for our health, but still do it.

I love Facebook as it's the best way to keep in touch with family and friends. I have gained a ton since the election - comfort eating. And beer is hard for me to resist, especially when we spend winters in a hot climate. Nothing like an ice cold beer.

jayhawkjen on 01/18/2017:
So true! I can relate.

Jayhawkjen - Monday Jan 09, 2017
(Not sure)
Weight: 203.0

 I had a good holiday season, although too busy to write.  I feel really good about kicking my happy hour habit.  Now I need to work on another habit.  I'm thinking of cutting back on sugar.  I'd like to get all the holiday candy out of the house, but sugar goes way beyond candy.  It's everywhere!  

Just signed up for Naturally Slim through work.  I will start on February 9 if I'm accepted.  I can't imagine why I wouldn't be!  

Exercise might be a good idea....LOL.  One thing at a time. 

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 33 lbs to go!

puddles on 01/09/2017:
Sugar is a hard one to kick to the curb but after a week or two you will not crave it. It take a while to get it out of your system but it is a good one to eliminate. Good luck. You are doing good. Good luck also with Naturally Slim hope it all goes your way.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/09/2017:
I am also working on lessening my sugar. without even realizing it, i admit being addicted. I was eating it so frequently causing really bad breakouts on body and face....and now it's getting better. all i had to do was stop so much processed food at night...i was eating a low cal ice cream for dinner (like 300 cals in the whole pint) and just counting calories but forgetting that it was around 20g sugar = too much. also i have some other things, but i'm thinking the ice cream was a major culprit. Seriously that is my rule now - no ice cream on work evenings.

tonight i actually have a real dinner, no added sugars / fruits / yogurts / ice creams of any kind.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/09/2017:
habits sure are hard to break....and i know that because of my own personal habits. it's good to try to improve.

If i can break mine, my skin will again improve into what it used to be as a teen - clear and free of acne & quite beautiful, to say the least! Many times, we ignore the disservice we are doing to ourselves because it's become such a habit. i have simply forgotten what it's like to enjoy clear skin most of the time - for me it's a rare occasion to have clear skin, very rare, and i'm finally ready to break the cycle.

grannyannie on 01/09/2017:
Sugar is so addictive. Good luck!

Donkey on 01/14/2017:
Sugar is my weakness. I wish I could tolerate Stevia. I have yet to find a sugar substitute that I can live with that doesn't come with awful implications.

Donkey on 01/14/2017:
PS If you do the Naturally Slim, I would love to read about your journey with it!

Jayhawkjen - Tuesday Dec 20, 2016
(Not sure)
Weight: 202.0

I had a perfectly imperfect weekend.  I had several events which would normally mean several pig-outs and lots of imbibing.  Instead I had a drink or two and ate what I wanted, but not to the point of stuffing myself by any means.  It was a big change, and yet I didn't feel deprived.

And now the stress of Christmas is upon me.  Honestly I'm a little down & out...  My son is leaving for Vietnam today to spend the holiday with his sister.  He's only 19, so that kind of solo-trek makes me nervous, but I'm glad my oldest daughter (who lives in Saigon) will have a visitor from home -- and it is a way for me to send her gifts.  So I hope and pray everything goes OK and he avoids malaria and manages to not get killed on a motorbike or do anything which would offend Asian authorities.  

I'm stressed out about the state of the world in general -- Berlin, the Russian ambassador....  the political situation in this country.  I know I have anxiety, and I think that's one of the reasons I fell into the happy hour habit.   My house is a mess because we're doing construction and having some painting done, and I'm hosting Christmas brunch.  I'm working all week and have no time to finish up my Christmas errands... AND our exchange student is unhappy and is thinking about going home.  My son would be devastated if he left and I would too.  But he says this is not the experience he had hoped for, which is also hurtful although he doesn't realize that.  We have opened our hearts and home to him, and have gone to so much trouble for him but I guess it's not enough.  

It sucks being a mom at Christmas.  There is so much pressure to make it perfect for everyone and inevitably someone is disappointed.  

OK!  But at least it's getting easier to make good choices and I just have to remember to keep on.   I brought an avacado for lunch and I'm going to put a little chili on top of it.  I had a beautiful grapefruit and some mixed nuts for breakfast.  So far, so good.

I hope everyone else is having an easier time of it.  

Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 32 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 12/20/2016:
I understand exactly what you are feeling. My son trekked to both Korea and India by himself, he is a little older, but he is and will always be my baby. Mom's will always worry. I have refused to let myself get all worked up with the political situation, just because I go stand in the road and stop traffic, there is just nothing I can do to change anything because of lack of $$$ funds $$$. So i just let the wheel turn.

That's a shame about your exchange student, makes one wonder what exactly he was expecting.

Keep making good choices and have a little fun with your company.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/20/2016:
Hi Jen the Jayhawk!

I am really happy for you in the fact that you are being mindful when you go out. Not stuffing face is hard for me also when out. When with people I am comfortable with, which is usually the case, I am even more into stuffing my face so I sorta plan on a few extra cals but I order tons of veggies when I can so I can eat more but for less of a calorie bang. It’s my way. I enjoy stuffing my face and can still do this / moderately / when there’s good choices to stuff with!

Yes, I wish your son good luck on his travels and I think it’s so nice he’s going during holiday-time to be with his sister. I am sorry you feel lonely. Only thing I can think is that at a time when everyone is so busy, you will have more of a relaxing time at home? No?

Also, I hope you can at least Skype video call with your family while the two of them are in Saigon.

I wouldn’t take offense to your exchange student’s personal opinion and experiences. You sound like a wonderful lady who tries really hard to do a LOT for both her family & community. If the student goes home, so be it. It’s not your fault if he changes his mind. Maybe he wishes your son was here still. But he’s not.

So if the kid wants to go, I’d say don’t let it affect your emotions too much…maybe it has to do with him having trouble making friends at school or something. You can ask him…see if maybe it’s something that can be changed at school. ?

Your breakfast and lunch sound very healthy especially the beans on avocado. That’s filling! Nice.

grannyannie on 12/20/2016:
Wow. That's a lot of stress. Hope everything works out the way you need. Is your son taking anti-malarial medication? I think the risk is quite low for malaria in Viet Nam, especially in cities. But I hope he knows to use mosquito repellant faithfully. The part of Thailand we stay in does not have malaria, thankfully.

I've been very stressed about world events, especially US election. But I overdosed on getting angry, stressed and depressed about it, so I've reached a point where I put up a wall between me and the news about it. We haven't even put on the tv news for days, but I still see news online but not as stressful.

grannyannie on 12/20/2016:
Can't remember what country your exchange student is from?

Donkey on 12/24/2016:
(((hugs))) The recent world events have completely toppled my personal life, as well -- long story, involves religion, blah blah blah -- so I feel your anxiety. In this crazy world, I'm glad to hear, though, that I'm not the only one who is really, really worried.

I echo the others' sentiments about the exchange student. It might not be anything you did or didn't do, but rather just the circumstances of being in a different culture.

Jayhawkjen - Friday Dec 16, 2016
(Not sure)
Weight: 203.0

 Feeling so good!  Still wine-free.  

I might be crazy, but it seems like that one small-ish change has made an impact on my other choices.  Which kind of makes sense since whenever I did it, which was pretty much every day, I felt bad about myself so I had a "Oh, screw it" attitude.

We had scones and clotted cream at work this morning for our holiday party and I only ate half of mine.  

This weekend is going to be a challenge because we are having a big party on Sunday which involves eating and drinking all day.  At least I have a running start on doing well.  


Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 33 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 12/17/2016:
Well done! It is so hard to break a habit. My husband brews really good ales and beers in our garage and he has some around dinner time and later in the evening. Hard not to ask him to bring me a glass as well.

Parties or eating out with friends is the biggest challenge for me as well.

Donkey on 12/17/2016:
Parties are hard --- make sure you have a glass of water/seltzer/club soda in your hands at all times.

I cut out drinking because I found that I was adding $20-$40 to my grocery bill every week just on alcohol alone.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2016:
I love Donkey's advice. I love to have something in my mouth to eat or drink...so i do like having seltzer / water on hand the whole time at parties. Also maybe you can bring veggies.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2016:
oh and i'm glad you are feeling good :)

Jayhawkjen - Wednesday Dec 14, 2016
(Not sure)
Weight: 203.0

 I am so happy, happy, happy to be making better choices!  I successfully skipped happy hour again last night.  Walked up 10 flights of stairs today.  We are super slow at work, which means lots of sitting, unfortunately.  I wish I could be out there, doing something constructive to get ready for Christmas.  

Anyhoo, back to positive changes, I know that if I can kick the happy hour wine & snack problem, I will reap many benefits -- better health, better sleep, weight loss, fewer headaches, and a better attitude overall.  I think part of my reason for the happy hour is that I cannot stop doing housework until I'm drinking a glass of wine.  I'm a compulsive cleaner which is probably due to anxiety.  If my house is in order, I feel some peace.  But there's always something more to do, I'm never, ever finished.  Sometimes I'm cleaning things that are already clean, and I can't stop without that wine.  The other thing I notice is that I have the craving for my happy hour at a certain time of night, usually about 5:00 or 5:30, and if I can delay, then the craving goes away.   

I read today that eating in bright light increases the appetitie.  I have a huge chandelier in my dining room and it's my normal habit to dim it, so that's good, right?  We have a foreign exchange student staying with us for a year and it has been a wonderful experience.  One of the best things about having him has been the leisurely family dinners.  I set the table in the dining room (no more eat-in kitchen for me) and we really enjoy it.  He is used to eating more vegetables in his country, which has resulted in me trying to serve more veggies.  

One of my biggest fears is this:  every time I successfully lose weight, I only gain back more.  If I had never dieted, I know I would not be this heavy now.  I guess my hope is that by not dieting this time, maybe I will not re-gain.  If the focus is on making better, more healthy choices, then the deprivation is not there, which - at least for me -- has a boomerang effect.   I do know this -- I certainly eat a lot more than anybody else on this board!  LOL.  

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 33 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/14/2016:
Hello JHawk! Nice to see another entry from you!

You def sound happy & proud of yourself. Try to maintain this level of positivity it will def keep you on track.

That’s great you were able to skip happy hour temptations. And 10 fights will def bring your heart rate up! Nicely done…

I totally get ya with work. Being at work simply means being at work. There’s no getting anything constructive done really besides maybe typing here LOL, or making appts haha, or ordering on Amazon….but….when at work, we’re at work…and sometimes it’s not the MOST productive thing, especially for our minds. A break is good, I totally get you! And you’re right, let’s get back to chatting about something else now…!

Remember, there’s low cal options to substitute to have instead of wine – like seltzer (carbonated water). No calories and no artificial sugars (if you prefer to stay away from those…)

I thought it was dim light that increases appetite? Where is the exchange student from? That’s so cool that he enjoys more veggies! I love that!

Instead of dieting per se, try to make lifestyle changes that you KNOW you can STICK WITH. If you feel like you are doing things that are too limiting or you feel deprived, you will not be able to do the changes forever. … try to make changes that work for you in the long run, little by little.

This is why I like SUBSTITUTIONS. It’s not about deprivation but substituting better choices so that you can still eat and drink but things that fill you and don’t have quite the # of calories as your old choices…

jayhawkjen on 12/14/2016:
Thanks HOP. Yes -- substitutions are key. I was able to kick my Coke Zero habit by switching to La Croix, which just has to be more healthy, and now I really don't like diet soda anymore. I do sub seltzer water for the wine and it helps.

Our student is from Belgium. He's absolutely delightful. We are having a fantastic year with him. He is extremely healthy, loves exercise and eats well. I notice Europeans never eat on the run. No matter what, they sit at the table to eat. Eating anywhere else is not really done. My sister used to live in France and she agrees.

Thanks for the kind words.

grannyannie on 12/14/2016:
Good attitude! Yes, 'dieting' doesn't work, but changing your habits and just eating healthy and trying to be active does. Good luck!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/15/2016:
I love La Croix too :) I just had a Mango flavored seltzer from there that i picked up at an Asian-inspired supermarket by me! I've never seen the Mango flavor anywhere else :)

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2016:
That's all very interesting about your student from Belgium. Sounds like a very healthy approach. I think all countries do a better job sitting down at meals compared to us US folks!

Jayhawkjen - Tuesday Dec 13, 2016
(Not sure)
Weight: 203.0

I feel so good today!  

Goals met yesterday:

No wine, no pre-dinner happy hour snacking

Only 3 pieces candy, and I gave away my stash of Pecan Delights

Healthy eating throughout the day with fruits/veggies (2 clementines, 1 apple, fruit smoothie and a salad.)  

Light exercise (stairs, walking)


I realize I can easily cut 500-1,000/day by cutting out my happy hour wine and snack.  I know this, but for some reason, I back-slide.  I really, really need to remember that daily happy hours really pack on the pounds and it is not worth it.  Just a weird habit I get in to while I'm cooking dinner and watching the news.  I think -- I know I have a lot of anxiety and this is my way of self-medicating.  But in the end, it doesn't help.  Note to self, right?  LOL  

The kids are coming home from college this week and I'm so looking forward to having everybody home.  





Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 33 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/13/2016:
Welcome to DD. Yes the happy hour can be costly on the calorie total. Have a great day and keep up the good work.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/13/2016:
You can still drink & snack...just switch to something lo cal----i love diet tonic water (must do diet) for the nice flavor along with flavored seltzers and i add liquid stevia...there's also low cal things you can eat...you can cut up peppers or snack on cherry tomoatoes...or a pickle or cucumber salad...the list is endless...or one serving chips with the drinks ...you don't have to skip eating / drinking, just substitute!

congrats so far!

grannyannie on 12/13/2016:
You're doing great! I love wine and beer as well, but the calories!

Jayhawkjen - Monday Dec 12, 2016
(Not sure)
Weight: 205.0

I would like to change:

Daily wine habit

Too much screen time

No exercise

Prolonged sitting at work

Cut back on simple carbs, especially candy

I would like to replace old habits with:

Some kind of exercise after work to replace drinking wine and snacking

Adding a walk at work during lunch and/or doing stairs

Engage with my family instead of screen time or tv

Adding more vegetables and fruits to my diet

Learning how to lift

My goals

To feel more healthy

To have more stamina

To be a good example to the kids

To look better

To be more comfortable

To take control of my health

To stop feeing bloated, bad, tired

To be more fun and have more fun

To develop an exercise habit that I enjoy

To reduce back pain

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 35 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2016:
You have a great outlook of goals and desires.

I would say to pick one change and one replacement at a time from your list above. Once you successfully have done 1 change and replacement for 2 weeks, add in another one....! little by little it will become easier to eventually have them all in your routine.

You can even try making one goal last 3 weeks (the time it usuallytakes to create a habit) before adding in another. One at a time for best results in my opinion.

Your goals are wonderful - but sometimes trying to accomplish too much can result in an overwhelming feeling and in turn not being able to accomplish anything...from my own experience.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2016:
Oh....and welcome to DD !!! :)

jayhawkjen on 12/12/2016:
Thanks! I was thinking the same thing -- tackle one goal at a time. Replace one bad habit with one good habit. I want to start with the most damaging habit, which is drinking a glass of wine after work, and the accompanying snacking. I feel very hopeful.

innerpeace on 12/12/2016:
Great plan, the trick is putting it into action. Good habits are hard to create, hopefully you can find some motivation and inspiration here. Good luck! Welcome.

jayhawkjen on 12/12/2016:
Thanks. I've been a user in the distant past and this website was very, very helpful.

OhioRaven on 12/12/2016:
Try Frisbee Golf. What part of Kansas are you from ?

jayhawkjen on 12/14/2016:
I'm in Missouri, lol.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2016:
instead of wine, you can drink seltzer...you can still drink, just switch it :)

grannyannie on 12/12/2016:
Welcome to DD. Excellent goals!

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