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Runner - Friday Oct 06, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 114.5

Unexpected drop, but maybe my hard work IS finally paying off. We'll see how long this one lasts...

Runner - Friday Oct 06, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 116.0

Still fluctuating...but trying my best to stay under 1500 calories. This is the ONLY way I can lose weight.

Runner - Tuesday Oct 03, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 116.0

Was 115 on Monday and 117 on Tuesday.

Hate those fluctuations!

All because I had 3 small pieces of pizza.

Back to 116 today, but I'm having to be sooo careful. Before I left for America, I was fluctuating between 112-114. Now I'm fluctuating between 115-117.

WHEN will I get back to 114? I've got to get there soon, because warm weather will only be here for another month or so, and I'll have to squeeze back into my pants soon...I've been wearing a lot of capris and skirts this summer, since they fit me better. But, really, I can't fit into most of my pants anymore because I bought them when I was under 112. So...I have a good 5 pounds to lose or I'll have to buy all new pants!

Runner - Sunday Oct 01, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.5

My points for the last three days have been 4, 2, and 5. (if we're still keeping track)

I only have a minute, but I wanted to update quickly. I was 115 yesterday, but back to 115.5 today.

For me, real weight loss is sooo slow!

cornucopia982 on 10/01/2006:
Weight loss for all of us is slow....especially if you don't have a lot to lose! I hope your enjoying all of your activities!

breakaway on 10/01/2006:
Oh it really is...I agree totally! I wish it could go faster but like you said "real" weight loss is so slow. The good thing is it has a better chance of staying lost! Good luck to you and it's so good to see a familiar diary :)

ima2hefty on 10/01/2006:
slow isnt the word for it! what is the point system??

sweetpea1977 on 10/03/2006:

Runner - Wednesday Sep 27, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 116.0

Sept. 26-4

Sept. 27-3

Hello, all!

I think my life has slowed down some...and hopefully will stay that way at least for a couple of weeks! I've mentioned before that my job has changed a bit, and it's just been a bigger transition than I was anticipating.

On the diet front, I think I've been doing fine...I've definitely kept my calories under 2000, and I'm still exercising like crazy, partly because that's all I feel like doing after a stressful day at work, and partly because I feel like if I don't do it, I'll weigh 120 pounds! Honestly, I feel like there's nothing else I can do to lose weight except stop eating, but I'm not going to do that. I know all the dangers about shutting down your metabolism, and I've been around the block on this issue too many times. I still don't know how many calories my body needs to MAINTAIN my weight...if I knew that, then I could just cut 300-500 calories a day and actually lose a pound after a week or two! But I feel like I've tried everything, and my natural thyroid medication isn't working any miracles right now, either.

Well...the best I can do is just keep eating healthy foods and trying not to overeat. In the long run, I know that overall health is more important than the number on the scale, so eating 1200 calories of food high in saturated fat is worse than eating 1800 calories of healthy food. I truly believe that. I need the vitamins and nutrients from healthy food, so I'm trying to just focus on eating the RIGHT things without stressing out over the calories too much. Of course, I'll still count calories in the back of my head, but I want to avoid foods high in calories, saturated fat and sugar as much as possible. Most of those foods are "trigger foods," anyway, so I can't eat them in moderation. I have to stay away from them completely.

For me, those foods include:

* peanut butter

* chocolate

* cheese

* cakes/ cookies/ brownies/ desserts

Now, I really CAN live without these foods. I've done it before, and I can do it again. Of course, special occasions are times when I may enjoy some of these foods, but I can't eat them on a daily basis. Doing so will result in weight gain...that's just the way it is!

So...I will focus on eating my fruits and veggies, healthy cereal with soy milk, lean protein, and occasional complex carbs.

Those foods are good for me, and I feel good when I eat them. I will continue to take fish oil, eat salmon when I can, take vitamins, and exercise. I just hope I can really cut back on exercise soon. When I'm over 115 pounds, that's the last thing I feel like I should cut back on! But I know I need to be careful.

Anyway, I'm rambling on now, but it's been awhile since I've really updated, and I feel like I need a bit of re-focusing. I want to do what's right for my body, even if the scale doesn't ever encourage me that I'm making wise choices. My husband keeps saying that I've gained muscle, so maybe some of the weight IS due to muscle. Except that my butt hasn't gotten more toned...it's just gotten bigger and fatter! Ugh!

smiley2 on 09/28/2006:
Peanut butter and cheese are also MAJOR trigger foods for me. I havent had any in 2 years...but i have a block and a half of cheese in my fridge that i stil need to finish lol hehe!

You already do so much to lose weight. Dont you think that not being able to lose anymore is your body's way of telling you that he feels your current weight is healthy for you at this time in your life? Just a thought...good luck with all your efforts :)

borntocry on 09/28/2006:
I think that your body has just gotten better at adjusting to calorie/exercise variations. So you can cut calories or increase exercise and see very little effect. I still think you can make a difference, but it will be slow. Notice that geevee and I have had a similar experience. We both lost weight quickly at first and reached our goals. The few pounds we regained after that have proven almost impossible to shake. We've both made some progress but very, very slowly. And we're still not back to where we were before.

I am a big believer in counting calories. But I also have my trigger foods. And peanut butter is a big one. Maybe if it were possible to buy individual portions of it... but even a small jar is tempting fate.

liza36 on 09/28/2006:
I have some of the very same trigger foods, namely peanut butter and I LOVE cheese. I agree with BTC that your body has gotten better at adjusting to all the things you normally do. Perhaps making slight changes will result in progress for you. Your goal of eliminating for now your trigger foods is a good one to start with. You can do it...you have endured so much, you can do this!

geevee on 09/28/2006:
Thanks for the PNB recipe, Runner! Sure sounds interesting. And yes. I'm the one who mentioned mayo w/PNB + cucumber slices. What makes it work is the contrast between cold & creamy and cold and crisp w/PNB. I always have it that way. I've forgotten all about preserves and jellies. Any way you have PNB is high calories. Having a sandwich is even higher that my pumpkin pie.

Umpqua on 09/29/2006:
Well your weight looks fine to me right about now ;) But I do understand your frustration and I've certainly been there. Figuring out what you need to maintain 115 may be a good start for you so you can determine how to go lower. But I'm not sure how you would go about that given your dramatic fluctuations!

I've been thinking about you lately as one of my co-workers just got back from a trip (home) to Taiwan. She brought back.....MOONCAKES! They were the prepackaged variety and I'm sure not as good as the homemade one you posted a link to a while back. I missed out on them so she made a point yesterday of leaving 2 for me on my desk! One was plain and very good, not too sweet but quite filling. I had half of the other one today, which has pineapple filling and hazelnuts and surprisingly isn't nearly as good. I would think they were a good low calorie snack if you hadn't mentioned them previously!

Runner - Tuesday Sep 26, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 116.0

Sept. 25- 5

Doing everything right.

Where did 114 go?

Super-busy at work this week...will have more time to update on Thursday.

Runner - Monday Sep 25, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 116.0

Sept. 24- 0

I went from feeling ecstatic about my weight to feeling depressed.

Two pounds feels like 10 pounds right now.

114 is livable; 116 is uncomfortable.


ima2hefty on 09/25/2006:
Im so amazed that you stress so much about 4 to 6 lbs...not saying that in a bad way at all! I think its cool that you are striving to feel you are the "perfect" weight. I was just wondering, after reading your entries, you do workout alot, so maybe some of that weight is muscle that you didnt have before?? Dont beat yourself up (being depressed about your weight) I bet you are a beautiful person at 110 or 116. Just hang in there and you will get it sooner or later. Maybe you should keep up with your measurements to make sure you are gaining muscle or that you are still slimmer than you were before, just heavier because of being stronger? :)

Runner - Sunday Sep 24, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 114.0

Sept. 23- 2

Amazingly, I was still 114 this morning, even after last night's banquet. I guess I didn't do too badly...I left after the 7th course, and most of the food wasn't all that great, so I didn't overdo it.

I got very lazy today and enjoyed some high-calorie foods at church, like meatballs, apple pie, chocolate-covered raisins, and tortellini.

It's no wonder my weight is up to 121 tonight!

121! Can you believe it? How does one gain 7 pounds in one day? Yes, I know it's not a real "gain," but I'm sure I'll be back to 116 in the morning...it's just not fair!

I can't have free days...I just can't. I'll never lose a pound if I get lazy with what I eat.

borntocry on 09/24/2006:
That happens to me a lot too... when I manage to miraculously maintain my weight after a night out. It's like I subconsciously start to think that I'm somehow invincible and I get careless and then of course I realise my mistake the next morning...

cornucopia982 on 09/24/2006:
Whoa, I that's a big change from 114 to 121. But I presume its possible. My weight would definitely flutuate as well after a big meal. But, YES, that is a major amount!

Runner - Friday Sep 22, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 114.0

Sept. 22- 5

I know seeing 114 is temporary, because I had a major workout this morning before I stepped on the scale. And I have a wedding banquet tonight, which means something like 15 courses of food...so I can only HOPE that I'll be no more than 115 tomorrow! Even with the huge banquet, I plan on having a good day, food-wise, because I am SO EAGER to actually lose a real pound!

I got my natural thyroid medication in the mail yesterday, so I'm going to start taking that, too. I hope it helps kick start my metabolism and help me feel better.

Our foster baby comes today! Yay!

other than that, it's just super-busy at work. I'm actually looking forward to the day when we have children so I can stay at home and just be a MOM!

borntocry on 09/23/2006:
Oh, you are going to be a stay-at-home mom? I am going to do it too, at least for a couple of years, if we ever have kids that is...

Runner - Thursday Sep 21, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.5

Sept. 19-3

Sept. 20- 3

Sept. 21- 5

I wish I had 10 minutes to update and comment, but I'll have to wait until this weekend. It's been SO CRAZY at work...with my new role and responsiblities. I haven't had a minute to myself.

borntocry on 09/22/2006:
I wish you weren't so busy - I miss reading your entries! Fill us in this weekend!

Soon2BThin on 09/22/2006:
I missed you here. Glad you're just busy and everything is okay. See ya this weekend!

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