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Runner - Thursday Aug 31, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.5


My goals are pretty much the same ones I always make...but don't always follow through on! This time, though, I'm more determined than ever. Really, I am!

1. Calories- 1300-1800, depending on the level of activity that day

2. No bingeing. Ever.

3. 100 calories or less of something sweet. BONUS point if I avoid sugar!

4. Moderate exercise. (less than 2 hours/ day)

5. Maintain a positive attitude.

If I remember that DILIGENCE is KEY, I'll be okay. (right, Geevee?) And I just can't have free days...not when I'm trying to lose weight. Just one free day sets me back too far.

Here goes nothing!

borntocry on 09/01/2006:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for your comment. Okay, we can have a competition to see which of us can lose 5 lb first. Whichever of us wins can get a reward. So you'd better decide what you want, because it's definitely going to be you!

Becca27 on 09/01/2006:
Hi Runner!

I like your goals. It's great to start a new challenge. I know that I am ready to go and need a clean slate! I hope that I lose 5 lbs this time - I truly would be happy with that!

liza36 on 09/01/2006:
Your goals are great - you can do it! Keep that positive attitude, goal #5. I'm working on that very same thing too! Have a great weekend, and good luck achieving your goals.

WorkingIt on 09/01/2006:
That moderate exercise is a great goal to have!

Runner - Wednesday Aug 30, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.5

Slow and steady wins the race...slow and steady wins the race...slow and steady wins the race.

I have to keep telling myself that when I'm tempted by foods I don't need. The weight may not show up right away, but it WILL show up...and I'm living proof that overdoing it will lead to weight gain.

I'm also living proof that our bodies don't always cooperate with us, but that's another story.

I looked at some pictures of myself last summer when I was 103 pounds, and I just felt sick to my stomach at how different I look now. Really, it's drastic. But there's nothing I can do about it at the moment. I'm not going to lose 13 pounds overnight, and I'm not trying to.

I just want to get back to 110 and maintain it. I have 5 1/2 pounds to go!

WorkingIt on 08/30/2006:
You will be fine..you are right..slow and steady does win the race!

geevee on 08/30/2006:
Patience, Runner. Your words are still ringing in my ears about "those last few stubborn pounds". Those words gave me hope and didn't discourage me. It made me realize that it wasn't going to be easy, and here I've been fighting those "last few stubborn pounds" trying to get back to my goal weight. Believe me, I had NO idea just how stubborn those pounds would be! At this time, it's been 8 LONG months! You are NOT alone in this struggle, Runner. You are the one who prepared me for this battle which some days I definitely am not winning. But, we must go on and have faith. We can do it!

borntocry on 08/30/2006:
Hi Runner,

Well, slow and steady is definitely how I run MY races, haha!

Seriously, though, I am also planning to lose weight slowly this time, in the hope that it will help me learn how to maintain my weight better. In the past I have always lost weight quickly and gained it all back just as quickly. This time around I really want to work on changing my habits. I know you're like me in that you feel as mortified by your behaviour as you do by your weight, and both of us want to get rid of these bad habits so that we don't pass them along to our kids. So we have a lot of motivation to do this!

I like your suggestion of starting the new challenge on September 1st. That will give us all a day or two to decide on our goals, etc. I am working on a detailed diet and exercise plan for myself which will hopefully cover all possible eventualities (or so I think!) and will also include either yoga or pilates to improve my flexibility and hopefully reduce my chances of injury. I'm going to look for some books or videos on my next trip to London this weekend and will let you know what I think!

cornucopia982 on 08/30/2006:
Glad to see you taking part in so many physical activities...I've never tried pilates, have you? What is this challenge you all speak of!? I would like to possibly take part...or at least try, with my somewhat hectic schedule!

Umpqua on 08/31/2006:
Slow and steady is definitely a wise approach. You just have to work with your body and you will eventually see results. In the meantime, I'm so happy things are going well with your foster boy. That's great news!!

Runner - Monday Aug 28, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 116.0

I ended up salvaging the day yesterday and plan to have a good one today with NO peanut butter, NO candy, and NO unhealthy fats.

My diet is going to consist of low-fat/ low-calorie foods. That's the only way I can lose weight.

I can NOT lose weight on 1300 calories of fatty foods. It's just not possible with my body! So I need to get "back to basics," so to speak. When I originally lost over 40 pounds, I did it by going on a very low-fat diet and working out every day. I can do it again. I WILL do it again. I am going to lose 5 pounds!

WorkingIt on 08/28/2006:
Yay Goooooooooooo Runner!!

cornucopia982 on 08/28/2006:
You sound much more enthusiastic, that's a good sign!

sweetpea1977 on 08/29/2006:
Way to go Runner!! Thats the spirit!!

PetuniaPig on 08/29/2006:
You go girl! Sound like you know yourself and what works!

liza36 on 08/29/2006:
I did not know that you originally lost 40 pounds. That's a great accomplishment. You can definitely lose 5 pounds. You've got the right determination!

GG on 08/29/2006:

Runner - Monday Aug 28, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.5

I didn't weigh myself this morning. I couldn't. I had a bad day yesterday, and I knew it would be up. Geevee, I can only hope that I'm down 4.5 lbs. tomorrow morning, because I know my weight will be around 120 tonight. I can feel each and every pound!

I always feel like I take 2 steps forward and 4 steps back. Oh, I know it's not that bad, but my weight just won't budge permanently until I have a good several WEEKS of disciplined eating. A few days won't do it for me.

And if the challenge starts today, I'm not off to a very good start. I haven't done terribly...I've just eaten more simple carbs than I should. My calories should still be okay, but the fatty foods definitely end up on my hips! It's almost laughable how much my body has changed in one year. I have hips now! Where did they come from?

I don't care if my husband likes them...I detest them!

*****Missile---we are trying to adopt our foster baby, but we probably won't get him. We'll keep trying, though!

WorkingIt on 08/28/2006:
As long as you keep taking steps forward and stop talking trash about yourself. You beat yourself up entirely too much and cause yourself more stress than you need! Relax, take a deep breath, draw on everything you know and get to gettin'! Always remember...Babe Ruth struck out more times than he hit home runs =) And hips at 120lbs probably look very sexy. I don't know how old you are, but the older we get...we do get hips even if we are a size 0 lol.

Umpqua on 08/28/2006:
Runner, you know you fluctuate a lot so don't be so worried. Also, WorkingIt is right, we do get hips as we get older and there's nothing we can do about it! Thanks for putting my weight in perspective too. I know (logically) that I'm pregnant and not just at 150 from gaining, but it's still a mental battle for me. I remember how overweight I was the last time I saw this weight and it makes it very difficult for me. After spending some time with my friend yesterday she seems to think my weight "will bounce right back down" after this baby is born so that's very encouraging!

geevee on 08/28/2006:
Runner - Right from the start YOU were my idol! I had never realized WHY I had always regained the lost weight whenever I would diet. STupidity, I guess. It just never occurred to me that I had to change my eating habits or I would promptly regain what I had lost. This is what I learned from you, and it has helped! It didn't stop me from gaining 8� lbs. though, did it! Well, at least I'm within 3-4 lbs. of goal which means success after over a year. It doesn't make me happy but at least it puts the problem in perspective.

We have the same problem. Since it's not reasonable to eliminate our favorite foods from our diet, about the only thing we can do is to include them, but in carefully portioned amounts. Easier said than done, right?

The interesting thing is that I am learning how to do this, and I'm very happy about it! A half ounce of nuts or one ounce of cheese is so tiny, but I guess that's what we have to get used to. There's no other way.

So my suggestion to you is to schedule whatever number of calories a day you can spare for your weaknesses - 100, 200, whatever. And when you indulge, be totally aware of what a gift those taste buds are giving you, and then eagerly look forward to the next time you lpermit yourself to indulge.

You CAN do it!

Runner - Sunday Aug 27, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.5

I was 114 yesterday, and I was thinking that all my hard work had paid off, but then I was back to 115.5 today, and that was AFTER my long run, where I lost a couple pounds of water. Within two hours, I was 118 again. Sigh.

This is NOT easy. I've had 4 good days in a row, but what do I have to show for it?

I was discouraged at lunch, and ate some chocolate-covered cranberries and raisins, along with the toppings off of 3 pieces of pizza. That kind of behavior will get me nowhere.

When does the next challenge start? Tomorrow?

In other news, our foster baby is here for the weekend. I just love that boy! I almost started crying today as I was singing him to sleep because I know that he could be adopted out at any time. But I want him! I want to be his mom!!!

WorkingIt on 08/27/2006:
You've had four good days in a row and you have your health to show for it. Don't sabatoge it with your mind. And we all know how weight fluctutes so stop torturing yourself by weighing in every day and taking it to be literal. Because as you said, eating out of discouragement is going to get you nowhere except seeing higher numbers on the scale and then giving up completely.

I give you a lot of credit for being a foster mom. That is an honorable job to do. And even if you can't be his mommy, you are giving him something that he couldn't get right now, which is attention, love and care. And that is why your job is so important as a foster. Good luck today =)

cornucopia982 on 08/27/2006:
Sounds like you're a dedicated runner! Keep up the enthusiasm even though you may not see results right away! As an athlete, I'm sure you know the determination and patience it takes to improve ones body! Hopefully you will become your foster baby's mom!

geevee on 08/27/2006:
Runner - You were on my mind last night as I got on the scale. There I was doing what I always tell you NOT to do, but as you know, the compulsions always win out. I was feeling so fat I just had to check it out, and there I was at 132.5! Like you my weight varies so much during each day. This morning I was back to 128, down 4.5 lbs! I just know that if I were to only weigh once a week, it would always end up being when I'm at the high end.

inmorning on 08/27/2006:
I know babies are so sweet. I had a friend do foster care and I don't know how she was able to do it.

missile on 08/27/2006:
I admire you for doing foster care work. I dont think I could do it because I would get so attached I would have to keep them all. Can you adopt this little boy?

Runner - Thursday Aug 24, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 116.0

Hi, friends! Things have been crazy here, so I haven't had much computer time.

My diet has been very good for about 24 hours...and I'm motivated to continue eating healthily. I just received a book called "The Thyroid Diet," and I'm learning that foods like sugar are even more detrimental to us "thyroid people" than to others. So I really need to clean up my diet, and I'm planning to follow some of the guidelines in the book. I want to lose a solid 5 pounds...that's my goal. And I'm going to do it by sticking to my rules (and joining the next challenge) and trying to cut out sugar completely. I'm avoiding anything white---like white flour and milk. BTC has a point about food allergies...even though I was tested last year, I DO think I have some sort of intolerance with the food here. I mean, I never have problems when I'm in the U.S., so it MUST have to do with either my environment or soy products or something like that.

I DO eat a lot of soy, and I've been reading that soy can also interfere with proper thyroid function, so I really need to cut back. It's hard, though, as much of my diet has revolved around products like soy bars, soy tortillas, tofu, soy milk, and high-protein soy cereals. Yikes! How can I live without it? I'm definitely not going to turn to red meat for my protein source! Anyway...I need to eat the minimum amount, not the maximum.

There are more things I want to clean up as well...but the "no bingeing" is definitely at the top of the list. I don't care what the food is---I'm not going to overeat it! Period. I want to be like my mom, who is small and petite, but has never had a food problem. It's amazing...she just eats to live, not lives to eat. I really watched her closely when I was home in the U.S., and I noticed that her portion sizes are small, but that she doesn't deprive herself of the foods she loves. But I rarely see her take seconds, and she can bake all afternoon without bingeing on the goodies. How did I turn out so messed up? I don't know...but I do know that I want to be waaaay more balanced than I am right now. I could be a mother soon! (an adoptive mother) I don't want my child to grow up seeing a mom who sneaks candy and donuts when no one is looking!

I can do better than that.

And just for the record---I wasn't sticking out my stomach in those pictures. It may look like I was, but I wasn't. That's how bloated I can get after eating the "wrong foods," whatever they are!

borntocry on 08/24/2006:
Hi Runner!

If you give up ALL soy products for a week, and notice no improvement in your symptoms, then it probably isn't the soy that's causing your problem and you can go back to eating it. However, if it is the soy, then I'm sure you'll be willing to give it up in order to finally get rid of that bloating!

I do agree with you about cutting down on soy regardless. There are some theories that too much soy can be harmful for you. I originally limited myself to one or two servings a day, but now I am trying to cut down even more. I don't think I'm allergic to soy, but most soy products are quite heavily processed. I think this is a pity as there are many other sources of protein which I do like, but avoid simply because I can't trust myself around them. For instance, instead of keeping a stash of protein bars and soy crisps at work, I could so easily keep some dried fruit and nuts, or even crispbreads and peanut butter, or small cans of baked beans or other vegetables here at work. That would be so much healthier for me, and I would enjoy it more too.

At any rate, I am still confident that we can get to the bottom of your mysterious ailment. Maybe you can keep a record of your symptoms each day, and try to figure out a pattern.

Other than that, I can totally relate to your story about your mother. My parents are both really trim, and neither of them has ever gone on a "diet". My father has cut down on red meat somewhat, but aside from that, they eat whatever they like, including huge dollops of cream in my mother's coffee, nuts, chocolate, cookies at tea time, etc. But just like your mom, they never have second helpings, they never eat between meals... how do they do it? And more importantly, how did they end up with not one but three eating-disordered kids? Yes, one of my brothers has also experience huge weight fluctuations (he got extremely fat at university and then lost it all by eating nothing and working out all the time) and I have noticed some horribly familiar behaviour in my little brother (won't eat anything for weeks at a time, then all of a sudden can't stop eating for several days). It's so strange, isn't it?

Becca27 on 08/24/2006:
Hi Runner!

I developed an allergy to berries - all kinds - did you know that bananas are technically berries? I used to eat those foods all of the time. It has been such an adjustment to avoid them. I miss blueberries and strawberries the most. I can't have tomatoes and even eating pizza gives me a reaction. It might take a while, but you will adjust. Are you a vegetarian? I know I should know this - can't recall. Do you have any Whey protein in your diet? I wonder if Whey products would have the same side effects.

I have very "healthy" people in my life and I, too, watch them carefully. You hit on something that I think is key. These people don't deny themselves anything but they don't overeat either. Moderation and serving size is key!

Weren't you sticking out your stomach even a little bit??? Even if you weren't, I bet you still could have sucked it in.

Every day is fresh with no mistakes - I hope you have a great one!!!

WorkingIt on 08/24/2006:
Isn't it amazing the things we find out about our various conditions and how food can hinder our progress because of them? Was your picture of your stomach two years ago, in a magazine? I think I've seen it before! Anyway, we all suffer from bloat, don't beat yourself up!

Umpqua on 08/24/2006:
Hi Runner, that is quite a bit of difference in your tummy pics, and I'm sorry you're going through this. I think cutting out the "white foods" is a good idea, and maybe cutting soy for a week would be a worthwhile experiment. At least then you can rule it out as you have so much of it in your diet! Your weight looks great but I understand you want to lose those 5 pounds so it seems like a good idea to experiment so you can rule out food allergies. That would be wonderful if you get to adopt your foster child!!

borntocry on 08/25/2006:
Your stomach picture was in a magazine?!?! Which one??

Runner - Monday Aug 21, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 117.5

This is my stomach now. I can hardly believe it myself. I want to crawl in a hole and not come out for a very, very long time.

Becca27 on 08/21/2006:
I know you aren't trying to be funny or, at least I don't think you are, but if I pushed out my stomach I could look at least 7 months pregnant. Suck it in!!!! You have a hot little bod there... why don't we get any head shots???

WorkingIt on 08/21/2006:
Don't stick your tummy out that way! I agree with becca, suck it in!

borntocry on 08/22/2006:
Oh, what cute pictures! Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear!

Seriously, though, the picture below was obviously taken in the morning when you were out running, probably before you'd eaten anything, while I bet this one was taken at the end of the day after you'd eaten a huge plate of veggies and drunk two litres of water - am I right? I know I'm right.

Also, did you ever consider testing yourself for food allergies? I suggested that you might be allergic to soy (based on the fact that you don't seem to suffer from any of these symptoms in America) and since then I've done some research on the subject and apparently soy products can cause very serious bloating in people who are allergic. And I know you're a big fan of soy-based protein bars (like me!). If there's a chance you could be allergic to this, or to any other type of food (gluten, lactose, etc), maybe you should think about getting tested for it. I know food allergy testing is often a long and laborious process, so at the very least, you could try cutting the suspect food out of your diet for a week or so to see if that has any effect on your symptoms. Do this with only one food group at a time, and try not to change the rest of your diet or eating habits in any way. Then take notes of how you feel every day and see if it has any effect. In fact, this is something you can do even without changing your diet - you may notice a pattern. Didn't you say you were going to start listing everything you eat anyway? Or did you mean privately - not here? Because I'd like to help you analyse your diet and try to figure out exactly what is causing these symptoms. We've got to get to the bottom of this! What are your thoughts?

Runner - Monday Aug 21, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.0

This was my stomach 2 years ago.

Runner - Monday Aug 21, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.0

I'm actually too chicken to weigh myself again...

I did SO WELL on Saturday, but come Sunday afternoon, it was like all my good intentions flew out the window. Between a big church potluck, a snack time with Vietnamese ladies (that included delicious Vietnamese snacks), and dinner with my inlaws, I ate far more than I wanted to.

So I skipped the scale today and have been working at getting back on track! I'm still trying to follow the "Geevee diet" (as I like to call it), but I need to start keeping track of my points. Otherwise, I just get lazy! At least I'm starting to write everything down.

I'll never understand why it's so easy to gain weight and so HARD to lose it! It's just HARD!

borntocry on 08/21/2006:
Hi Runner,

Thanks so much for your encouraging comments. It means a lot to hear it from you - the master runner! And you do know what you're talking about, I guess. I just feel like everyone's attitude seems to be, "well, running is bad for your joints so just don't do it". But it's not that easy for me. I'm not good at anything else. I mean, I'm not even good at running, but at least that's an individual sport, so it doesn't matter if I'm not good at it. But I'm not good at other sports, I can't swim, I'm too shy and anti-social to join a club or take classes or anything... I like running because I can do it on my own, anywhere, and whenever I want. I don't want to give it up!

But I won't abandon hope just yet. I'm going to try to see if I can't get my knee back in shape after this half-marathon. I'm going to try to strengthen my quads as biscottibody suggested. And in the meantime I will do as you said and try to appreciate other things in life, like trying for a baby, and having a nice weekend with my husband in Brussels and then with my mother and brother (and Smiley!) in London. If only my gluttony doesn't get in the way!

Come to think of it, maybe now that I can't exercise as much, this would be a good time to finally come to grips with that problem of mine! I think I will terminate the current challenge at six weeks (to keep it the same length as the last), in which case we can begin the next one a week from now. Are you on board? I hope to make this a really good one - this time I won't let illness, injury or depression get in the way!

Oh and by the way, I've actually finished three half-marathons (Paris, Berlin, and Cincinnati)! ;) Thanks for reminding me!

borntocry on 08/21/2006:
P.S. That new snack place is supposed to carry snacks from "Taipei, Tokyo, and Seoul". And yes, there were whole parsley leaves in the taro cookies! Weird, huh? Maybe I should take a picture so you can see what I'm talking about!

And they had no fried horse beans - isn't that tragic?

Becca27 on 08/21/2006:
I'm so excited to hear about your foster baby. I hope that everything is going well. You are right, though. I bet you'll be too busy to think a lot about food, which can be a good thing.

Losing weight is at least twice as hard as gaining. I'm always amazed at how quickly my body takes on the extra fat and then it doesn't want to let go of it, at all! The only thing that has been getting me through is considering the alternative AND acknowledgement that it is a journey, not a race. Even if it takes me a year to lose these last 8 lbs, I'm still there in a year. If I give up, I will go backwards and never get where I want to go. So, I am trying to live every single day the best I can - mistakes and all!

Umpqua on 08/21/2006:
Maybe it's best not to weigh yourself every day. I knew before getting on the scale today that my weight would be up, and I usually know when I can expect to see a loss too. I think it's wonderful that you're spending so much time with your foster baby, hopefully that will keep you busy on the weekends and not as tempted to snack!

Runner - Saturday Aug 19, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 115.0

We have our foster baby this weekend, so I'm super-busy! Diet is going very well, as I haven't had much time to focus on food.

Just wanted to check in, though...and let you know that I'll update tomorrow! I hope I can read a few entries...I want to know if BTC is going to try to get pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)


UPDATE----Sunday was a terrible day, food-wise. It seemed like I was bombarded with junk and sweets all day!

talk about falling off the wagon...

borntocry on 08/20/2006:
I don't know if "trying to get pregnant" is the right phrase - more like "not trying to not get pregnant"?

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