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Runner - Monday Jun 19, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 122.5

Thanks for all your comments, friends! I'm happy to report that after the brownies for breakfast, I made much smarter choices the rest of the day.

Points for June 19- 3

Unfortunately, I have yet another meal out tonight. My husband said that it's some sort of "King Crab" restaurant...and I really like seafood, so I'm sure I'll enjoy it! But I know there will be a ton of food and it will probably be really salty...

so I don't expect my weight to go down anytime in the near future!

BUT, I'm sticking to fruit, some complex carbs, and a little protein to tide me over until dinnertime. And I DON'T plan to pig out. I also don't plan to put ANYTHING sweet into my mouth before the meal because I simply can't afford the calories. No can do!

superstarr on 06/19/2006:
Well you were down a pound today, that is good =D The seafood place sounds good. I can hardly wait to hear about it tomorrow. Yes BFL does afford a free day. However w/ my compulsive side being very strong, it's best if I don't go full force w/ free days. I have like a "free meal" but not a whole free day. It's too much for me. I have a long history of binge eating and purging. When I first did the BFL the free days killed me. I always ate WAY too much and had to fight really hard to not vomit it all up. After a couple week realized the free days werent for me..lol I'm going to do the BFL I think. Like you said the structure is good for me. I like structure!

smiley2 on 06/20/2006:
Hi there!

I think its great that you guys are thinking of adopting. I think it will relieve the stress that you are experiencing currently with weight loss and trying to become pregnant; and who knows maybe if things settle down in the future you can have children of your own, and if not, you can adopt more if you want! I know a lot of couples who opted for adopting children even though they could have children. The experience of adopting is exactly the same as having your own child and they wouldnt want it any other way! I think this is the right decicion and i wish you all the luck and happiness in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Becca27 on 06/20/2006:
I'm glad you had a better day. :-)

I have a question for you.... Next Tuesday night I am hosting book club at my house and we are discussing a Chinese book. I would like to put together a variety of "snacks" that would go with our book. Any suggestions? I would prefer NOT to just order take out! - ha!

Runner - Sunday Jun 18, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 123.5

Points for June 17- 3

Points for June 18- 1

I went from doing sooo well to completely falling off the wagon and getting run over by the wagon wheels in the process.

I am so glad the weekend is over. Yesterday was by far the hardest day. I had a big lunch at church and then dinner was one of those fancy hotel buffets that are just too much for me. I ate far more than I wanted to, and even though I wasn't stuffed, I didn't make wise choices. I ate too much cheese (BRIE! FETA! SHAVED PARMESAN!) and had second helpings on dessert (chocolate mousse cups, ice cream, brownies).

THEN, I was stupid enough to come home, take a long walk, and make a pan of brownies! WHAT was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, that's what! Of course, I had to have some BLT's in the process, and breakfast this morning was a big, fat brownie.

Of course, I'm up 2 1/2 pounds, and I had worked SO HARD to get down to 121. Geevee knows how I feel...she knows the difference between 133.5 and 131. For me, it's the difference of being able to fit into my pants and not being able to fit into my pants. Seriously, anytime I'm over 122, I have to resort to skirts or loose pants. It stinks.

And I feel sick, too. Of course I feel sick! Who eats a brownie for breakfast and doesn't feel sick? At least my co-workers will eat the rest of them, but I should have never made them in the first place. I thought for sure that I wouldn't eat any after my big meal, but I did! Unbelievable.

No more desserts for me this week! I mean it! No baking, either! I have to get back on track, and I'm not going to ruin my good intentions by purposely putting temptation in my path.


My weekend was busy because my husband and I have been doing some foster care the last 3 weekends. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't...just know that I've had a lot of fun being a "MOM" for awhile! At least when we have a baby around, I'm not so focused on FOOD! It's so nice to focus on the baby instead of myself! Umpqua, I am so excited that you are going to be a mom! Even though it's a lot of work, it's so worth it!!!

maria777 on 06/18/2006:
We all go overboard sometimes...but you'll make it up fast!

geevee on 06/18/2006:
A brownie with my expresso in the morning? Ooooh! That sounds so good! It's just so easy to get off track!

I have no control at all in hotel/buffet situations which is why I missed the alum event the other night. I knew I'd overdo it so I stayed home. That's not always possible but I didn't trust myself.

You're SO right about that little pound and a half. Boy, it makes all the difference in the world.

Well, you really have to get serious because you surely don't want that new weight to be permanent. Get rid of it as fast as you can and then keep it off. You know by now how these insidious gains happen.

smiley2 on 06/19/2006:
Heheheheh i like your wagon comment, very funny!

Its a new week and even though your started breakfast with a brownie you can still try and get back on that wagon :) Im glad you enjoyed having a child around, its true a lot of women say they are actually losing weight when they have children in their lives, since the child takes up all their time and energy and they dont have time to think of eating.

Are you and your hubby thinking of adopting?


borntocry on 06/19/2006:
Hi Runner,

I'm sorry you had such a tough weekend. Normally I would say that you shouldn't worry so much about your meals out, as those are hard for everyone, but you do seem to have a lot of them so I guess you can't just give yourself free range at them. There's nothing worse than continuing the foodfest by doing some baking once you get home, though! I've done that many times too - I wonder why? I guess we assume that the day is ruined anyway so it won't matter. But it does matter! We can't avoid meals out but at least we can avoid temptations at home. Instead of focusing on the things we can't change, we should focus on the things we can. That's what I am trying to do right now. Stay positive!

Thanks for the comment you left me. I guess you remember how I used to hide this website from my husband? Well, he saw me making the progress chart and I had to fill him in on what it was for, but I told him this is a "health and fitness" message board so that he wouldn't know that the emphasis is on dieting! He doesn't have any respect for dieters as he thinks that any relatively fit person should have no need to diet. Hahaha!

Umpqua on 06/19/2006:
That sounds like a rough weekend with lots of temptations. I remember when I could feel the difference between 121 and 123 - now those numbers seem so foreign to me! You'll get back on track so don't despair. That's great that you're getting a chance to do some foster care on the weekends. What a nice opportunity to ease into parenthood instead of diving in head first like we are :) I'm counting on this baby distracting me from food, it's the only way I'm going to lose the massive amounts of weight I'm gaining.

sweetpea1977 on 06/19/2006:
Wow, what a rough weekend you had. I am glad you set yourself some rules for this week (no desserts, no BAKING). I think it will do you some good to cut yourself off from a few of your favorite things for a couple of days.

I am so excited to hear about you guys doing foster care. I am even more thrilled that you are loving it so much! :o)

Becca27 on 06/19/2006:
I hate when that wagon leaves tread marks on my face. I hate weekends, too - you know that! I'm not sure what you were thinking of with the brownies, though.... temporary insanity???

When I am trying to get rid of a craving, sometimes it helps to brush my teeth and floss.

superstarr on 06/19/2006:
Hey Runner WOW fostering! That is great! Good for you! I have to say having a baby is a real eye opener when it comes to the food and dieting. I have to admit I'm more concerned about goes into my daughters mouth than what goes into mine. Such a mental shift from the days before I had children. There is always someone more important than you for once. Kind of refreshing. Here's to a week of NO BAKING!!!!!!!!! XOXO

Runner - Friday Jun 16, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 121.0

Points for June 16- 5

Yay! Another "star" day!

I was too busy to think about food...and this weekend is super-crazy, too, although most of my big events revolve around FOOD!

When I have more time, I'll fill you in on what I've been up to...

smiley2 on 06/17/2006:
A 5 star day for you again! Congrats, keep it up!

borntocry on 06/17/2006:
Hi Runner,

Perhaps this is finally our week to shine! I've had a couple of good days too, and so far the weekend is going pretty well. We can do it!

Thanks for the comment you left me the other day. You're right, I should probably ease up on the World Cup dinners. I just can't bear the thought of giving up on such a cool idea just because I don't have enough self-control. But you're right, I am always telling you not to make things harder on yourself with your baking. So I think I'm going to scale back the big dinners next week. They've been getting kind of tiring anyway, to tell the truth!

Runner - Thursday Jun 15, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 121.5

Points for June 15- 3

I'd like to write more and take the time to comment, but I'm exhausted...just threw a dinner party and managed to eat well and avoid the "danger foods," but I'm still feeling very full and bloated.

Need to go to bed...

will update tomorrow!!!

smiley2 on 06/15/2006:
Well done on avoiding the danger foods! Hope you had a good night's rest. Today is a new day! Carpe Diem!!!

Runner - Wednesday Jun 14, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 121.5

Points for June 13- 1

Points for June 14- 0

The day is only half over, but there's no way I'm making any of my goals today.

Although the vegetarian buffet was amazingly delicious, I feel sooo heavy and full right now. I ate two full plates, plus some soup and a little dessert. I really wish I wouldn't have had seconds on a couple of the things. I didn't need them, and I feel quite sick at the moment. The food is so good going down, and I loved commenting over everything with my friends, but now I feel depressed that I probably blew a week's worth of work. I finally saw 121.5 two days straight, but now I'm up to 127.5. In a matter of 5 hours, I went from 121.5 to 127.5. Amazing, isn't it? Of course, a lot of it is water weight and food weight, but I KNOW I had far too many calories for my body.

Whoever said that athletes can maintain their weight on a 2,500+ calorie diet hasn't met me! Because a 2,000-calorie meal will wreck havoc in a matter of minutes and I won't see 121.5 for probably another week!

borntocry on 06/14/2006:
Hi Runner,

It might comfort you to know that I'm in the same state as you are right now, except a hundred times worse, because I'm not half the star athlete you are.

I only have a moment, but just wanted to give you one of the links I've been using in my quest for World Cup soccer recipes: http://www.congocookbook.com.

smiley2 on 06/14/2006:
Hi there Runner,

I can relate to your overeating and feeling of guilt afterwards. The best you can do is try not to let this happen again anytime soon. A slip up now and then is fine though, but not a few times a week, otherwise it will lead to a gain eventually.

Be bold, be strong, pick yourself up and try again....you are a stong person so you can do it!!!

geevee on 06/14/2006:
Bad girl, Runner! You know you shouldn't get on the scale after eating! Why do you torture yourself like this? Weigh in the morning and then forget about it.

I wish I could eat and feel full. I'm really a bottomless pit. I never feel full!

sweetpea1977 on 06/14/2006:
Thanks for the compliment on my pic!

Why do you keep weighing yourself after eating and drinking all day?

Food and beverages weigh a lot, so there's no point in weighing yourself after you've started consuming food and drink. Its better for your mind to just wait 8-10 hours after your last meal to weigh yourself again. During this "no weigh zone," your body will have had some time for the digestion and elimination processes to take place - which hopefully will show a less drastic number on the scale.

The best you can do is not dwell on your mistakes and move on. Now is the time to start getting back on track. You can do it Runner, I have faith in you!

Becca27 on 06/15/2006:
You're as bad as me! I weigh myself after eating/drinking and want to crawl under the covers. Then, I keep weighing myself after every pee! It's ridiculous!! Why do we do this?????

Runner - Monday Jun 12, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 121.5

I only have a minute, but I am so excited that I finally made all 5 goals AND got a bonus point (for June 12)! It's about time! I've been lagging behind...

but I think my short-lived success will be just that...short-lived! The meals out start tomorrow and go through the weekend!

If I'm not careful, I'll go right back to 124. I can't relax...I can't relax at all!

****************** UPDATE:

Well, there will be no "gold star" day for June 13.

Today just has NOT gone well...I spent 3 hours going to and from the hospital for a 5-minute appointment, my iPod is broken, and our gym is "closed for maintenance" until Friday.

I'm feeling stressed out, and I consumed a good 250 calories of sugar. NOT GOOD!

geevee on 06/13/2006:
This never ending battle! Forever vigilant!

Runner - Sunday Jun 11, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 122.0

Surprisingly, I was 122 today. I'll take it!

Points for June 11- 3

I'm just glad I made it through the weekend. I probably overdid it on exercise, but I felt like I needed to burn some extra calories for all the eating! Actually, I didn't do too badly overall, but I did indulge in some things I rarely enjoy---like honey-covered peanuts (YUM!), real ice cream, and cheesy scalloped potatoes.

Anyway, a new week is here, and I'm determined not to go above 122 again! Those days are OVER! (I hope!)

Unfortunately, I have at least 3 big meals this week...one of them is at an awesome vegetarian buffet on Wednesday. But I can do this. Small portions, eating slowly, and discipline the rest of the day will hopefully pay off.

BTC---want to come with me to the Vegetarian buffet? :)

jolt on 06/12/2006:
Hey you,

Keep up the excellent work! you are doing awesome, inspiring as alawys.



smiley2 on 06/12/2006:
Great job on the weightloss. Thats right, easy does it, so just keep doing what are you are doing....Njoy the Vegetarian Restaurant!


Umpqua on 06/12/2006:
Yay Runner! I'm so happy the scale is moving for you. I wonder if the indulgence in some different types of foods helped to shake up your metabolism a bit?

borntocry on 06/12/2006:
Ooh, I would love too!

Thanks for the comment you left me. I remembered that your husband plays soccer - that's why I thought you guys would probably be following the World Cup. America's first game is starting right now, and my husband and I actually took a day off work to watch it! Pity they're in such a tough group... hope they make it through! President Bush actually called the coach and told him to "give them hell"!

Runner - Saturday Jun 10, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 123.0

I am incredibly busy this weekend! But it's been a great weekend so far!

Here are my pathetic scores...

June 9- 4 points

June 10- 0 points

let's just say I counted today as a "free" day and didn't count my calories!

It's no wonder I can't lose a pound!

I saw 122 this morning, but I know that won't be the case tomorrow, so I'm not even going to bother recording it.

Will try to update more later---

superstarr on 06/10/2006:
HEY RUNNER!!!! I can't believe you're still here! I was so happy to see your posts! There is so much catching up to do on your entries. It will take me forever! What is this point thing you are doing? It's hard for me to follow. I need to go back and investigate...LOL It's so great to be back! I hope you are doing alright. The HRT doesn't sound pleasant. What is all that about? I suppose I'll have to go back and find out =D

Runner - Thursday Jun 08, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 123.0

Wow, thanks for all the comments, friends!

I'm happy to say that after a bad day on June 7, I had a much better day on June 8! In fact, it was my FIRST "Star" day! I accomplished all my goals and get the full 5 points! Yay!

The scale hasn't budged and I still feel pretty uncomfortable at times, but at least I didn't give in to the "sugar monster" yesterday and stayed far away from candy!

I have two big meals this weekend...maybe three, so I really have to be on my guard!

Wish I had more time to comment, but I'll be gone most of today.

Will try to update tomorrow!

becca27 on 06/09/2006:
Congrats on your first "star" day!!!! Week two is going to be a good one!

smiley2 on 06/09/2006:
Congrats on your first 5 star day!!!!!

Runner - Thursday Jun 08, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 123.0

Points for June 7- 0

Foodwise, yesterday went from good to awful in about 1 hour, 30 minutes.

Honestly, it all happened so fast that I didn't take the time to THINK about what I was doing. I guess I just have to prepare myself for hurdles EVERY DAY, because they come when I least expect them to! And instead of clearing the hurdles yesterday, I tripped over about 12 of them.

Everything went downhill when I was handed a piece of birthday cake and 2 truffles, and then I went home with the attitude of "well, I've already ruined one of my goals...how about another one?" So I got into the candy and snacks and 700 calories later, I realized that I had just eaten a total of over 1000 calories in an hour and a half. That is downright pathetic, and the food wasn't even very filling!

It came in the form of a piece of cake, two truffles, a Cadbury egg, 2 chocolate covered cherries, a graham cracker with some flavored cheese, and several almonds. Talk about a lot of junk!! You may wonder how I could eat all that candy at once, but you have no idea how strong my sweet tooth is once I start eating sugar.

So...even though I skipped dinner and only had a small snack before bed, I know that I blew ALL 5 of my goals yesterday. I worked out harder than usual, so I can't give myself any points there. And I'm up a half pound today, but I feel like I deserve it.

I'm staying FAR AWAY from the candy today. So far, so good. But I can't relax...I just can't relax, or I'll give in to temptation that comes my way. I must have a sign on my forehead that says, "GIVE ME SWEETS," because it seems like I can barely get through a day without being faced with something fattening and unhealthy to eat!!

borntocry on 06/08/2006:
You and I are such all-or-nothing people, that's the problem. Look at Smiley - she has put in such a consistent, solid performance over the past week. We need to do the same and resist the temptation to completely abandon ship at the slightest provocation.

You do have a lot of hurdles to face, though. I don't know how I would manage in your situation.

Okay, now it's time for me to take my own advice and not let one little breakfast at work ruin my whole day...

Becca27 on 06/08/2006:
One of the biggest problems I've had in my adult life is my "all or nothing" mentality. If I can't be perfect, I don't even try to be good.

Every day I start out well, and if some hurdle makes ME trip - I am a basket case. It's funny, I cannot remember the last time I ate pancakes for breakfast or bacon or something really fatty and yummy, like doughnuts or cin. rolls. I start out so well....

If I could learn just ONE lesson, it would be to pick myself up after a mistake and move on without falling appart.

I completely relate to your sweet tooth. I am your sugar soulmate! :-)

Here's a suggestion, start (if you don't already) writing down your calories and when you stumble - add it to your total and look at where that leaves you. Try to acknowledge it, adjust, and move on - understanding that you can still salvage the day. I think that one of the mistakes I make is, when I fall off the wagon, I don't want to face it, so I'll choose not to write it down - and then just say, oh well - I'll try again tomorrow. When I journal, including my mistakes, it puts it all into perspective and helps me realize that my initial stumbles aren't all that bad- it's what I choose to do AFTER I stumble that makes all the difference in the world in the long run.... does that make sense? I'm rambling...

smiley2 on 06/08/2006:
My front teeth consists of one BIG sweet tooth and one BIG salt tooth. Well they attack me sometimes one at a time or sometimes together. All that i can tell you is, unless you have the willpower of a steel horse, the best is to give in to that moment of madness to satisfy it and move on the next day, believe me the guilt always helps the next day lol.

geevee on 06/08/2006:

For people with BIG appetites like I have, all those goodies you ate would have been easy for me to gobble up. During one of my late night forays I consumed about 8 truffles. My distorted reasoning was that it was better to eat them all to get rid of them! There I was savoring each and every morsel. When those same truffles were on sale at Wild Oats, I bought TWO more 8oz pkgs. I know they're in the freezer along with the dark chocolate son Jim gave me, so at any time you can expect a mea culpa from me about a binge.

That's why I chose as one of my goals to limit late night snacks to only 100 cal. becaause there's no way I can satisfy a craving for sweets with only 100 cal. I've had entirely too many late night disasters of 500+ cal. It's like nothing

Wouldn't it be nice if we could get by with only "one" of whatever?

Umpqua on 06/08/2006:
First off, great job on the wedding cake. It's simple and beautiful and looks just delicious, I really want to dive right in and take a bite ;) Sorry you had an off day yesterday but you'll bet back on track. I know how difficult it is when people just hand you food, particularly sweets. My one well-intentioned coworker still offers it to me all the time, but I typically say no unless it's fruit or something healthy. She was just handing me food a while ago, but I think I broke her of that habit by rejecting it. We often order sandwiches from a local shop when we have clients visiting and she makes sure to always get a huge basket of bread on the side, in addition to the sandwiches! This is so she and others can fill up on bread once the clients leave. It's good bread, but it just seems so wasteful and unnecessary to me - I bet that's something that would be unheard of where you live!

geevee on 06/08/2006:
Hi Runner,

Ratatouille is cubed eggplant dusted w/flour and browned. Then, add onions, garlic, peppers (any color) and Italian spices and a large can of tomatoes. If it's too dry, add some tomato sauce or wine. I put mushrooms in if I have any and yesterday I add celery and two cut up stalks of fennel for crunch. Somehow the cooking doesn't soften the fennel like it does celery. It's such a tasty dish and lo-cal to boot.

Maria7 on 06/08/2006:
It's so easy to give in once you've started eating things you were trying not to...and then say...oh, well, might as well eat what I want now....I've done that lots of times...but we learn....I love chocolate covered cherries...I also love iced cinnamon raisin bread and had a sort of 'binge' with that the other week....but now I'm trying to stay stocked up on things that are filling, sweet, and low fat. Hope you have a good evening.

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