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Runner - Monday Nov 07, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.0

I'm just barely holding on to 116...was 117.5 when I woke up.

I haven't been eating more calories, but I have been eating less-healthy food, allowing myself to indulge in some sweets and fats. (like cheese)

No matter what the professionals say, I don't believe that all calories are created equally! A calorie is NOT a calorie if you're comparing calories from sugar and calories from vegetables! It's almost uncanny how my weight can shoot up after a day of eating "not-so-healthy" foods...even if I keep my calories low and exercise like a madwoman!

Maybe my body just hangs on to the extra carbs, but I can predict a gain with almost complete accuracy by now.

All right, I'm tired of the way I feel when I eat sugar, even in small doses. I'm serious now about getting back to my veggies. Thankfully, I love veggies, and I made up a huge pot of them a couple of days ago, so I have plenty of them in my fridge.

BUT, I have a meal out today...and it might be a fancy-shmancy one. Uh-oh. Let's just hope it isn't a buffet!

geevee on 11/07/2005:
I can't handle buffets either. I take full advantage of all the goodies with abandon as if I had never had a weight problem.

And I agree about not all calories being equal. For me, sometimes it really helps to have the fat calories because they satisfy me so much that if I didn't have them, I'd end up eating more calories with fruits and vegetables.

Do you know the torment I go through thinking about that "all you can eat" buffet at the Biltmore? It was especially bad today because I got there late and the buffet was open when I had finished my shower! I forced myself out of there and blanked out my warped mind.

Good luck with the buffet. I'll pray for loads of grease!

sweetpea1977 on 11/08/2005:
I totally agree with you about calories not being created equally!! I too notice a difference in my body (physically as well as energitically) after eating the same amount of calories from two different diets. Sugar and white bread bloat me up something horrible, but as soon as I replace them with fruits and veggies the extra weight vanishes!!

In other words, sugar drools and fruits/veggies rule!!

I hope the meal out was a success.


borntocry on 11/08/2005:
Hi Runner,

Well, I guess I'm the only one who believes that all calories <i>are</i> created equal. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part!

Anyway, I just wanted thank you for the lovely, comforting comments you left me over the last few days. Although of course I'm not happy to see that you're having similar problems yourself, still it is reassuring to know that I'm not alone and that others understand what I'm going through. I feel so despondent because it almost seems like a totally pointless endeavour to keep track of my weight and yet at the same time it's the most accurate way to make sure that I don't undo all my good work and gain all my weight back. I can't just rely on the way I look in the mirror because that can vary so much from day to day as well!

I'm wondering if it might be a good idea for me to finally buy a scale. On the one hand, I could end up getting depressed more often if I see a lot of high fluctuations but on the other hand I might get some positive reinforcement a little more often, too. What do you think?

Anyway, thanks for all your encouragement... and thanks also for your advice on racing. You've given me a lot to think about... and I'm sure I'll be back for more soon!

Oh, Runner, whatever would I do without you?!

Runner - Sunday Nov 06, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

I was physically active almost all day yesterday, so that may have helped my weight go down to 115 this morning after my run. But I was still 120 before bed last night, so I'm wondering where those "5 pounds" went to...I can never trust the scale!

So far so good today. I'm still trying to stay away from the sugar, but I caved in pretty badly yesterday. Instead of eating healthy foods, I ate about 700+ calories of pure white poison...and I felt pretty bad afterwards, too! So I guess that's good. If I can realize that sugar DOESN'T make me feel better, then why should I eat it? Of course, everything is probably okay in moderation or small amounts, but I've obviously shown that I can't handle it in small amounts yet. So I still think I need to go cold turkey and just give it up completely.

It's really hard not to eat dessert, though, when I'm invited to a friend's house for dinner. And that happened last night. So before I knew it, I was eating a piece of pound cake drenched in raspberry syrup, pudding, and whipped cream. Of course I enjoyed it. But I didn't stop there. I also managed to have a couple of cookies and some chocolate chips. And a few M&M's. Way more than I needed, that's for sure!

I'm ready to get back to my veggies, fruit, and protein!

geevee on 11/06/2005:
Hi Runner,

I agree that it's practically impossible to resist "free" food.I would have eaten just as you did at your friend's if I had been in the same situation. I was like that at Wild Oatys this week and shamelessly scarfed down over 2/3 of one of those huge sugary muffins that sell for $2 and probably have 600+ calories. That wasn't enough. I then helped myself to at least 6 crackers w/a delicious cheese. I couldn't get enough.

This is why I NEVER ever buy anything with sugar because I totally lose it.

What has really helped me is finding substitutes for the sweet tooth I've kept at bay, like fresh fruit, smoothies, and my latest, cereal w/almonds and whole milk. When I get my lipid level results this week from Tuesday's appt. I will probably HAVE TO go back to fat free. I will pay a big price for this luxury. As I mentioned, the first time I tasted "real" milk it was like melted ice cream.

This is some battle!

Umpqua on 11/06/2005:
You know, I really thought I had the sugar thing under control. I keep lowfat, low sugar treats in the house and seem to have no problem exercising portion control with those. But the minute the Halloween candy entered by house, my diet went out the window and I've been pigging out like there's no tomorrow! I don't think I could completely cut out sugar, but I think I need to do something about that candy so I can get back on track. I went shopping and stocked up on healthy foods and snacks - now I need to get rid of the candy....As much as it pains me, I think I need to throw it out (as my husband has suggested, since he's been devouring it too)...I honestly think it's been a catalyst for several days of horrible eating! Sorry to rant on about my own sugar cravings - but you know how I feel! I think you're doing great overall, and good for you for signing up for that marathon! Maybe this will be your last if you plan on getting pregant, but you'll feel good about yourself afterwards and can think about carrying a baby with a healthy, positive state of mind.

Soon2BThin on 11/06/2005:
Gosh, I can sure relate to you on the sweets. I have been craving them for the last few weeks. Nothing else sounds good to me. But I guess if we can cut them out, it will get easier later. At least, that's what I've heard. And I think everyone weighs more at night so I NEVER get on the scale then. Have a great week!

Runner - Thursday Nov 03, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.5

Still holding on to 115.5 after my run! Even though I'm supposed to be gaining weight, I feel really good right now. The bloating has lessened, and I'm proud of myself for eating a pretty healthy diet this week. I did cave in and have a little sugar yesterday, but it wasn't worth it, and I plan to stay away from it today. I am back to eating cereal, though. I can't give that up unless I have to! And so far, no doctor has told me to give up my cereal! :)

This weekend will pose some challenges with at least 2 meals out. Let's just hope I'm not faced with very tempting desserts!

I signed up to run another 21km half-marathon in December. I know, I'm crazy. But I figure this may be my last chance at running one for awhile if I start to give my body a break and think about having kids! Yeah, I know some women run during their pregnancies, but I think I'd look at it as an excuse to take a break from running! If I ever get pregnant, I'll stick with walking or yoga or something...

Of course, I won't get pregnant if I continue to run half-marathons, so I'm only kidding myself if I think that I'm doing my body a favor by signing up for another race. But it's too late now! I've already deposited my money, and my competitive juices are already flowing...

borntocry on 11/04/2005:
Hi Runner!

Wow! A half-marathon! That is SO cool! Of course you're probably an old hand at this! But tell me, how do you train for it? Do you actually run 21 km at a time while training? And if so, where? And how long does it take you? And how do you keep from getting bored during all that time?

I'm sorry to bombard you with questions like this, but you suggested once that I think about running a race myself, and I've been giving it some thought. I know I should probably start with something short, like a 5K, but I'm worried that if I run a distance which I already know I can run, I'll be inclined to judge myself based on my performance in the race, whereas if I run a longer distance I'll be happy just to finish. Does that make any sense? I haven't actually come to a decision yet, so any advice from the maestro would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for the comment you left me. I'm actually in the process of trying out over a dozen different kinds of protein bar, and I'm compiling a little comparison chart, partly for myself and partly for you, so that you can tell me if you want me to send you any of them! So far the calories range from 92 for that disgusting mini protein bar I had the other day to 232 (haven't been able to bring myself to try that one yet!). There are two different soy ones, at 100 and 117 calories respectively, and they're really good, because they don't taste artificial at all. One of them (the 100-calorie one) is kind of like a granola bar and I swear the other one reminds me of Snickers! It's chocolate-coated, with whole soy nuts inside which are kind of like peanuts.

Oh and as for the low-fat chocolate ice-cream cones you asked about the other day, I just put low-fat ice-cream in a cone myself. It was actually a brilliant idea of mine to invest in these cones (and I had to search far and wide for them!), because that way I can limit myself to a couple of scoops of ice-cream at a time, whereas when I have it in a bowl (or worse, straight from the carton!) there's just no stopping me!

sweetpea1977 on 11/04/2005:

Im so happy for you! Im glad that you are feeling good and doing well on your diet. I think it is safe for you to have a bowl of cereal each day, just be conscious of the other breads & cereals that you may encounter later on in the day so that you dont overload on the "white stuff" which seems to be part of your digestive problem. :o)

Im thrilled to hear that you are going to run a half-marathon! I, too, am curious on how do you train for this kind of race. BTC asked the same questions I was going to ask - inquiring minds want to know!

Treat this as your last race no matter what! That way, you will be determined to do your best. And if kids do come into the picture, then you will feel satisfied knowing you had a great race right before you became a mommy. And once your done having your children, return to the game and have your babies cheer for ya on the sidelines! :o)

Love, Jenny

Runner - Tuesday Nov 01, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.5

I'm chalking up the "loss" to water weight, but I do feel better. I had moments yesterday when I just wanted to devour something sugary, but I managed to restrain myself. I ate vegetables for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I also enjoyed some cashews, almonds, a nice piece of fish, two apples, and a couple of eggs. So you can see that I didn't starve! In fact, I went to bed quite full.

I guess my main goal with this 5-day "diet" is to stay as far away from simple sugars as possible. I mean, really...there's no nutritional value in them, and I do have a very hard time eating them in moderation. So going "cold turkey" and cutting them out has made me feel better about myself...and my bloating has gone down a bit!

Plus, I really like vegetables, especially when I steam a whole pot of them and then season them with sea salt and a bit of other seasonings. Good stuff! I do miss dairy products, though...like cheese. But it won't kill me to avoid cheese for a week, either.

I may indulge in a small bowl of cereal tomorrow, as I have a big day at work and need lots of energy...and I have found that my mix of whole-grain and high-protein cereals tides me over better than anything.

Does anybody know how many calories are in one cashew? BTC?

I "googled" 'calories in one cashew' but wasn't able to find what I was looking for.

borntocry on 11/02/2005:
Hi Runner,

I laughed when I read your entry as I remember I went through the same process of trying to calculate the number of calories in a cashew nut! In the end I settled on 10, based on the calories in other nuts and the fact that a chocolate-covered cashew nut has 15! (So 10 might actually be a little high for a plain cashew, but I always prefer to err on the high side, if you know what I mean.)

Anyway, I'm glad to see your diet is going well so far. What vegetables did you have for breakfast? I'm also going crazy with vegetables these days, as it's the only way I can fill myself up without totally blowing my diet. And because I have no kitchen, I've been keeping them pretty simple too - either steamed or roasted with just a sprinkling of salt and pepper. Perhaps we could share some ideas? For instance I recently discovered a great combination: cauliflower, peas, potatoes and red lentils (mostly cauliflower as that has the lowest calories), with ground cumin and turmeric. Nothing beats plain broccoli, though - that's my favourite! But with Thanksgiving coming up, I'm in the mood to try pumpkin... still not sure how to fix it, though. Up until now I've only ever had it in dessert!

Thanks for the comment you left me, and the advice on how to beat those hunger pains. My problem with bringing fruit or other snacks in to work is that I end up eating them whether I'm hungry or not, especially if they're perishable. But as it happens, I was just contemplating this very dilemma this morning and according to my research it seems there are certain varieties of apple which can keep without refrigeration, such as Fuji and Granny Smith. So maybe I could keep them here at work for those hungry days. And I like your idea of candy, too - I have some Werther hard candies at home which I don't like that much, so they would be perfect to keep at work as I won't feel tempted to have them unless I'm really starving. Thanks!

sweetpea1977 on 11/03/2005:
Hey Runner,

I just finished reading your entries from the past two weeks. Im curious to see how the 5 day diet works out for ya. At least it sounds like you are enjoying a wide variety of veggies and fruits at the moment. :o)

I gained an astounding 9 pounds in 8 days due to the 1000's of carbs (pasta, french bread, bagels, and desserts) I consumed while on my Californian honeymoon. Tuesday, I decided to severely reduce my simple sugar consumption until I get back to my pre-wedding weight. I did this earlier in the year and it work. I think it is working again, as I have already lost 4 pounds (in two days). And when I slowly introduced them back into my diet (in moderation, of course) the weight didnt come back as long as I kept up with the exercising. It sounds like it is helping you out as well, so keep up the good habits!

Have you done the ovarian tests yet? I have heard about cysts causing bloat-like symptoms as well, so its very important to figure out if your ovaries are ok as soon as possible.

Keep up the positive spirit. You will make it through this, I promise!

Love, Jenny

Runner - Monday Oct 31, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 117.0

It's the first day of November, and I'm starting a 5-day (or 7-day, if I can make it!) yeast-free, sugar-free diet.

I've noticed that my bloating symptoms are far worse after I've eaten certain foods, specifically sugar. So I've decided to cut out the sugar and anything white or refined for 5 days. I have also done quite a bit of research on Candida, and I think I'll follow the Candida diet, as I'm wondering if my digestive system is filled with bad bacteria. That was my hunch a couple of months ago, and I figure it won't hurt me to go off of sugar for a week...just to see what happens!

Unfortunately, I can't have any cereals, breads, etc. So I'm going to eat mainly vegetables and nuts. I can have a little bit of fruit and I think quinoa, millet, and some other grains are okay in moderation.

I've tried something like this one time before and lasted about 2 days. This time, I want to stick with it a little longer. I do think I have some sort of addiction to sugar, so if anything, maybe I'll start the process of breaking that addiction.

I really have to be prepared, though...with healthy snacks and with meal options. If I'm caught off guard, I may choose to put something in my mouth that I'll regret later. So planning ahead is key!

I'll keep you posted.

borntocry on 11/01/2005:
Hi Runner,

I think it's a great idea to try to get yourself used to less sugar. I used to be quite a sugar junkie myself in the past, and a lot of my favourite treats from those days seem way too sweet to me now. So I really do think it's possible to train your taste-buds to become more sensitive to sugar, so that it only takes a little to satisfy them.

And good luck with the Candida diet! Normally I am wary of such highly restrictive diets, because I think they're hard to sustain. But I like your idea of allowing yourself certain treats which you rarely have. Hopefully that will help you stay away from the foods you're trying to avoid without feeling too deprived!

Runner - Sunday Oct 30, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 118.0

Watch out world, my body is out-of-control. Much to my dismay, I am up to 118 pounds. I actually saw 122 last night before bed.

Quick recap of my weekend--- Friday was a stellar day, food-wise. I stayed around 1500 calories and got plenty of exercise.

Saturday was rougher, due to the costume party, but I thought I behaved myself quite well and kept my calories low throughout the day so I could enjoy a few treats. Once again, I kicked butt on the exercise.

Sunday, I was 117.5 in the morning and my stomach just continued to grow throughout the day, no matter if I ate or not. I walked/ hiked ALL AFTERNOON and ran for an hour in the morning. Kept my calories to probably 1800 minimum.

So why is my weight so high this morning? I know I have a digestion problem, but I'M NOT EATING THAT MUCH FOOD!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW that I need to gain some weight, but does it have to be THIS EASY???? I mean, I thought I would have to WORK AT IT a little to gain some weight, but I haven't had to do a thing! In fact, I've been eating better and exercising MORE!!

For over a year, I maintained 113-114 with regular splurges and meals out. Nowadays, I just LOOK at food and I gain another 1/2 pound!

Just a mere two months ago, I was still seeing numbers like 112 on a good day. And now I'm 122 before bedtime?

You know, if I felt like I deserved the weight gain, then I wouldn't be complaining. But I don't feel like I deserve more than about one pound of it! And that makes me sad, angry, and depressed. I literally spend every free minute I have either walking, hiking, running, or lifting weights. Why? Because I'm too scared not to! Because if I can gain 6 pounds without even trying, then what will happen when I'm NOT burning 800 calories a day due to exercise?

I'm back to eating my apple and 3/4 cup of dry cereal for breakfast. Blah. I'm avoiding eating out at all costs and staying away from sugar. And it's making me unhappy. Food makes me really unhappy right now. And watching everyone else eat and enjoy it makes me even unhappier!

I really need to snap out of this funk...

borntocry on 10/31/2005:
Hi Runner,

Why <i>are</i> you eating better and exercising more?! I thought you were supposed to be eating more and exercising <i>less</i>! Obviously you can't really be gaining weight on 1500-1800 calories day and all those hours of exercise. This must just be due to your digestive problem, which you may even actually be aggravating by your continued dieting and exercising!

At any rate, if your stomach keeps growing no matter if you eat or not, then you might as well eat! I know it's not fair... and it sucks that you're going through this. After so many years of careful diet and exercise, this must be like your worst nightmare!

Maybe you could just try to look at this as a little break from it all. You always wonder what would happen if you didn't count calories and exercise for hours each day - but now that everything has been turned upside down, who knows what would happen? Certainly things can't get worse, so why not try eating whatever you want and exercising less and see what happens? Who knows, perhaps your body could do with a little break from the rigorous schedule you have maintained over the years. I'm sure all of our yo-yo dieting, bingeing and fasting does damage our bodies somewhat in the long run. And if you're going to gain weight anyway, you might as well enjoy some of your favourite off-limit foods in the process. Trust me, you won't gain that much weight! After all, how often do you see a fat runner?

And there might even be a silver lining to all this... maybe the few extra pounds you gain might help you become fertile and have a child! That's what you wanted, isn't it? And wouldn't that be worth a few extra pounds? You could always lose them again afterwards. Even if you went up to 125 or 130 lb, how long would it take you to get back down to 115? Three months, maybe four? You have your whole life ahead of you!

Runner - Thursday Oct 27, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.5

I have no idea what my weight is this morning. I was too scared to get on the scale.

The last 14 hours have been a nightmare, diet-wise. I'm so ready for simple fruits and veggies...and the thought of indulging in a lot of sweets makes my stomach turn!

Let's just say that my meal out with my husband was a disaster. It started off well...I suggested sushi, which is healthy, right? Well, after a large bowl of miso soup and about 10 pieces of sushi, I was STUFFED to the gills! But that didn't stop me from eating 1/2 of a McDonald's ice cream cone and then some random (free) samples at a store.

To make matters worse, I decided to bake something to use up a cake mix and some candy corns. BIG MISTAKE. For some reason, I just crave candy corns this time of the year (it's a mental thing), and I found myself eating about 200 calories worth of them, even though I was already feeling sick! And then the bars didn't turn out well, so that made me even more frustrated, causing me to eat one of them and throw the rest in the fridge.

I went to bed full, unhappy, and disappointed in myself. I had a nice date with my husband, but I completely ruined it by indulging in snacks I didn't even want after my meal! Why did I do that? My stomach was SO BIG before bed...and I woke up with a real "food hangover." I feel so yucky! And guess what I ate for breakfast this morning? A candy corn bar! (I wanted to make sure they tasted good enough to give away...am I pathetic or what?)

At the moment, all my co-workers are enjoying them and I'm feeling sick and frustrated. I deserve the weight gain if I eat like that.

I'm not going to touch sugar the rest of the day...I'm going to eat only when I'm hungry and stick with fruits and veggies and a little protein. My body is literally craving healthy food right now...NO MORE SUGAR!

Why do I continue to poison my body with sugar? Will I never learn?

biscottibody59 on 10/27/2005:
I was glad to hear you got checked for celiac.

You think your candy corn compulsion is bad. I discovered that I liked those MaryJane candies a few years ago--peanut butter toffee thingies--and I actually calculated how many bags I'd have to buy now to have 1 serving a day for the next year. It's over 13 bags--haha--but it's also one of those things I can sort of "ration." I haven't decided to buy any more than 2 bags. Then I'll see if there are some on sale the day after Halloween. I like so few types of candy--might as well splurge!

Hope you get over the sugar deal!

borntocry on 10/28/2005:
Hi Runner,

That's funny - I've been obsessing about candy corns this week, too! I guess we know why, don't we? But I've been trying to remind myself that I don't even like them that much - certainly not enough to go on some long trek to an American specialty store to look for them!

Although actually I'm quite tempted to get some, along with a bunch of other candies, and put them out in my office for anyone passing by. I feel this absurd need to acknowledge Halloween even though it isn't celebrated here. The only problem is that the 1st of November is a national holiday here, and as it's a Tuesday, almost everyone has taken the 31st off too to make it a long weekend. So there probably won't be anyone here to sample my candy and I'd just end up eating it all myself. Wow, I can just see that happening!

Umpqua on 10/28/2005:
I know what you mean about a "food hangover" - mine usually involves an upset stomach. I have put off getting Halloween candy until the weekend so I won't touch any of it! That means I'll be paying top dollar for it of course. It's tough because we had a lot of kids stopping by last year, so I want to make sure I have enough candy - but not too much extra because I know I'll gobble it up. I don't think your meal out was that bad - I could definitely eat that much soup and sushi - and still find room for dessert. I do know how addictive sugar can be though, so I think it's wise to slack off it for a bit.

Runner - Wednesday Oct 26, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.5

Just as I predicted, some unexpected "food challenges" arose yesterday. Unfortunately, I didn't do as well as I would have liked...and indulged in some sweet (and highly caloric) treats. Thankfully, my own meals and snacks were low-cal, but I'm afraid I'm not creating any sort of calorie deficit at the moment.

I guess that's okay, as the doctors don't want me to lose any more weight...but, still, it's hard to accept that I shouldn't try to get back to 113. I really liked how I felt at 113! My pants were never too snug...it's amazing what 5 pounds can do! And it has been almost 5 pounds, since my weight is really about 117.5 when I wake up and it's usually 120 before bed. So I'm not close to 113 at all!

If I can make it through this weekend without a big gain, I'll be happy! I have a costume party to attend on Saturday, and I'm doing the majority of the baking for it...how do I get myself into these things? Of course, that means temptation in the kitchen AND the possiblity of leftovers! I'd better have my husband around to make sure I don't go crazy! Usually, I just try to bake things I don't really like, but I don't think that's going to be possible this time. I want to impress everyone, so I think I'll make some of my best desserts.

But I have to make it through today first. I'm going out for dinner with my husband tonight, so I want to have a stellar day so I can enjoy my meal. There's nothing worse than going out to eat and feeling really guilty about it because I've already eaten too many calories throughout the day.

borntocry on 10/27/2005:
Hi Runner,

I don't know exactly what you're making for the party on Saturday, but maybe you could choose desserts which can be made in large tins rather than in individual servings. That way you won't be able to have any without ruining the presentation. Or, if you do make individual servings, like muffins or cookies, make exactly one (or two) per person so that if you have any yourself there won't be enough to go around. This is what I always do, and so far it's worked for me every time.

Thanks for the comment you left me. I've already bought a convection oven! But we haven't got the gas hooked up yet nor the rest of the kitchen installed, so we haven't even taken it out of the packaging.

And it's funny you should ask whether my legs are looking toned, because I recently noticed that they actually seem less toned now than they were when I was in America over the summer. And I'm definitely running a lot more now. It must just be the 8 lb. I've gained since then which is covering up the muscle!

Umpqua on 10/27/2005:
I know what you mean about that 5 pounds making a difference! I actually think I feel most comfortable maintaining at 115 - but I'm a few pounds away from that now. When I maintain lower (not that I've done that for very long) I feel a little too bony - that's just me. It sounds like you're doing well given all the treats and tempations you've been facing. I hope you have fun at your costume party and don't worry too much about the goodies!

Runner - Tuesday Oct 25, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.5

Still hanging on to 116.5. Did fine yesterday until a friend brought me some Chinese treats that looked like big donut holes. There were three kinds---chocolate with a fudgy filling, peanut with a cream cheese filling, and plain with a red bean filling. And all of them were GOOD. Since I'd had a low-calorie day overall, I indulged in several of them and didn't regret it. I know that they were probably expensive and rare treats!

Snacking is still where I usually fall off the wagon. I can eat low-cal meals, but I find myself wanting to snack---not because I'm hungry, but because the food is THERE. And every day seems to present itself with unexpected challenges. No matter how good my intentions are, something will come up...someone will offer me a piece of chocolate or I'll get invited out to lunch. Those things just happen...

My slow-cooked veggies tasted even better the next day! And I have enough leftovers for several days, so that's good! I agree with BTC---even if I did overcook them a bit, I'm sure I didn't lose all of the vitamins...and they're definitely low-cal, compared to most other foods! So that's a plus.

borntocry on 10/26/2005:
Hi Runner,

Those Chinese donut hole treats sound so good! I'm glad you had a low-calorie day and were able to enjoy them without guilt. I also find it difficult to resist snacks and seem to face unexpected challenges all the time, particularly at work. For instance I have just found out that people are bringing croissants and other breakfast breads and pastries in to work both tomorrow and the day after, and I just know that's going to be my undoing! I don't even particularly like croissants, but if there are a lot of them leftover and they're just sitting there right next to me all day long I know I'm going to end up eating them! Why, oh why, do we do this?!

Oh and thanks for your comment... you're right, I don't feel as bad about my weekend in London as I normally do, because most of my calories were spent on treats which I very rarely get to have, and which, in fact, I had been craving for a while. And many of them were things which I don't really need to have all that often (like waffles, pasties and samosas), so now that I've taken care of the craving I probably won't think about them again for some time.

And I do wish I could visit you some time and try all the interesting treats you mention in your diary. I'm actually not too familiar with Chinese food but it sounds so good! I had a Chinese friend at school who made me dumplings with red bean paste - and I loved it even then! Unfortunately I rarely get to have it now.

Oh and I'm thinking of taking your advice and trying that low-fat peanut butter with cream cheese. I've never had peanut butter with cream cheese, but it seems like it would make a good high-protein snack! Thanks!

Runner - Monday Oct 24, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.5

Relieved to be back at 116.5.

Ate mostly fruits and veggies yesterday, along with a bit of protein. I threw a ton of chopped up vegetables in my slow cooker and added spices, chicken broth, etc. After cooking for about 6 hours, they were all pretty mushy, but I liked them that way! I have a feeling I cooked all the nutrients right out of them, though...so maybe they're not as healthy as they could be! But I've been reading about the health benefits of tumeric, curry powder, and cinnamon, so I liberally seasoned my veggies with those three spices, and it was surprisingly good!

I'm also cutting back on dairy as much as possible, just to see if some of my bloating is due to that. It's hard, though...I love cereal! But I can stand to eat some cereals plain...and I'm now eating more fruit for breakfast, although it doesn't seem to fill me up like cereal does.

I'm really glad I'm not in the U.S. right now, as the week of Halloween is usually a time to eat a ton of candy that I love...even though I am going to one costume party this weekend, I know that I'm faced with far fewer temptations regarding the food than if I still lived in the States.

I just have to say---I am so jealous of skinny girls who eat whatever they want and don't gain a pound. I may be thin, but I've had to work very hard to get to this weight, and if I ever relax just for a day or two, the weight comes right back on. But I see girls here just pig out any time of the day, and they stay thin as a rail! Some people were just blessed with a good metabolism, I guess.

Princess_Teacup on 10/24/2005:
What's worse is skinny guys who complain about how they can never gain weight and about how they have to eat all the time. It's enough to make me want to weep. Especially since I'm about to marry one of those kinds of guys and I may have to hear about just how hard it is to gain weight for the rest of my life.

Thanks, as always, for the sound advice. And thank you for the congrats. The wedding will early next summer. If we ever actually find the time to plan the darned thing.

borntocry on 10/25/2005:
Hi Runner,

I'm glad to see you're still in a relatively good frame of mind. I loved reading about those Chinese snacks you had the other day - they made my mouth water! How I wish I could try them! Honestly, even if your weight was up the next day, it sounds like you had a nice time and you probably don't get those snacks every day, so maybe it was worth it. Your weight did go back down just a day later, too!

I like the sound of that vegetable stew you made, too! You know I used to feel that there was no point eating cooked vegetables because all the nutrients had been cooked out of them, but I've read a lot about nutrition since then and I no longer believe that to be the case. Vitamin C does tend to break down after prolonged exposure to heat but that's about it. You still get most of the other benefits, and you also generally fill up on not too many calories, which is always an advantage!

I also think it's a good idea to try cutting back on dairy products. My husband is lactose-intolerant and has constant digestive problems. I think I read somewhere that up to 90% of Americans have some degree of lactose intolerance, so it did occur to me that you might also fall into this bracket, but then it didn't seem to me that you had a lot of dairy products. I personally hate milk, so I usually use very little in my cereal. Unfortunately I haven't found fruit to be a very good breakfast choice either. It just isn't substantial enough. Why don't you try a slice of toast with a little peanut butter?

Oh and speaking of peanut butter, I forgot to tell you that I finally tried the Better 'n Peanut Butter which I brought back from America. I can't say I like it quite as much as regular peanut butter (mostly because it isn't crunchy), but it definitely does come in handy when I have a peanut butter craving but I'm too hungry to be satisfied with just a miniscule smear of the regular stuff. And of course another good thing about it is that I'm not tempted to eat it straight from the jar - always a problem for us!

Umpqua on 10/25/2005:
I'm glad to see you're trying different things to get to the root of your bloating. Don't give up! It's tough to see skinny girls who eat whatever they please and don't gain weight. I think a lot of that is a young metabolism that will catch up with them with age. The last time I was at this weight (briefly, when I was 19-20), I had a completely different diet. No way could I eat that way now, but I eat much healthier and more satisfying foods now. And FYI, I know you are fretting about approaching 30 and having a baby, but it doesn't have to be the end of a good figure. Although I don't have any children (but I'm still considering it) - I'm 33 and was able to get down to this weight, starting at age 29. Frankly, I've felt much healthier and better about my body in my 30s than I did for most of my 20s!

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