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Runner - Monday Oct 10, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

Still holding on to 115, although I'm starting to feel more bloated again. I did okay with food this weekend overall, although I indulged in a few things along the way. But I'm learning that if I indulge in something around a mealtime, then I shouldn't feel the need to eat a meal as well. My mom might disagree with me, but I'm sticking to the "calories in, calories out" theory. So for example, I really wanted some Poppycock this morning for breakfast. We got Poppycock at Costco here, and it's the most amazing carmelized popcorn and nuts treat. A half cup is 160 calories, and I'm sure I had a whole cup of it. Well, this was a poor choice for breakfast, but I wanted it. And I'm glad I had it instead of breakfast as opposed to eating it AFTER my breakfast. (In which case I would have consumed about 600 calories for breakfast)

I very rarely eat an unhealthy breakfast, so I don't feel too badly about it. And now that I've had my indulgence for the day, I'll probably be fine the rest of the day. At least I hope so!

I brought the rest of the Poppycock to work, though, because I know it can't stay in my house. With 22 servings at 160 calories each, it's an extra two pounds waiting to happen! And I don't need any extra weight right now! I'm doing everything I can to keep my weight under 116.

kelly2112 on 10/11/2005:
I love Poppycock too - it's something I never buy - I would never be able to just eat 1 cup. Good decision on taking it to work - I assume to let your co-workers eat it not yourself? ;-)

geevee on 10/11/2005:
Poppycock isn't so bad as a food choice. Plain popcorn is a good choice for a snack. Nuts are too. The only negative I see is the caramel, but we do have to calm our sweettooth on occasion. As a substitute for breakfast or any meal, I think it's a good idea. Breakfast is always the time for me to eat dessert which means Thanksgiving and Christmas, the only times when there is any dessert in the house.

I've always preferred late evening as the time to eat cereal, eggs or dessert. I don't like breakfast foods for breakfast. Give me a cold slice or leftover pizza anytime

In sum, better to have Poppycock as a meal instead of a snack.

borntocry on 10/11/2005:
Hi Runner,

I'd never heard of Poppycock before but it sounds like the most awesome snack ever invented! If you think about it, though, it's probably not that different from some of the more sugary breakfast cereals out there. I find it absurd how people criticise certain breakfast choices as being unhealthy while favouring others which are really equally unhealthy or even more unhealthy. For instance, my husband's parents once made fun of me for having a Pop Tart for breakfast, while they themselves were gorging on pancakes and biscuits and bacon and all kinds of fatty and not particularly healthy stuff. Really, what's the difference?

Runner - Thursday Oct 06, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

116 when I woke up, 114 after my run. I sure lost a lot of water today!

I'm taking a break from my "Body Cleanse" program. I think it was a rip-off, anyway. Honestly, I can be such a sucker! The box was a Chinese brand, and it just didn't seem to work like I thought it would. But on a good note, I worked harder to eat healthier this week, and I'm feeling less bloated than normal. So that's good!

I did well yesterday except for a weak moment when I consumed an entire Milky Way Dark bar that I'd brought back from the U.S. I ate the whole thing within 30 seconds, instead of savoring it. I think I was eating it very quickly because I was afraid my husband would want a bite or something, and I didn't feel like sharing! Talk about selfish. And I had brought that candybar back for my husband, since it's his favorite! I kept apologizing to him, and he didn't even seem to mind...but the point is, I didn't need that candybar! We still have one left, and I'm not touching it! My husband is going to eat the whole thing himself!

I'm going to be on the road this weekend, and I have three meals out---all at nice restaurants. So I'm anticipating a rougher weekend than normal. I'll really have to pace myself. I'm still working on the "smaller meals" thing...but when I'm eating with a large group of people, it's definitely harder to eat less!

Umpqua on 10/07/2005:
I'm usually not territorial when it comes to food, but chocolate is the one thing I can be protective of! I hope you enjoyed the Milky Way in an event, and it's good that you've resolved to give the last one to your husband. Good luck with the eating out this weekend. Group eating can be tough, especially if people pass dishes around for everyone to sample. I'm discovering this at my job - my coworker is always asking me if I want food, and yesterday she kept telling me to take junk food from the kitchen. I actually confided in her that I've gained 5 pounds since taking the job, but she still seems to want to fatten me up!

geevee on 10/07/2005:
I didn't even know that there was such a thing as a Milky Way Dark bar! Somehow I learned how to ignore all the candy taunting me at the check out lanes. I don't see them. I love Milk Way and would enjoy the dark bar even more. I'll keep that factoid in the back of my mind for a special treat.

Good luck on those meals out!

borntocry on 10/10/2005:
Hi Runner,

Oh, how well I know what you mean about trying to eat something as quickly as possible just in case my husband suddenly decides he wants to share! And I also feel so guilty and selfish whenever I do that, although in my defense it's usually something which I feel that I would enjoy more than he would!

Well, I hope you had a good weekend, and thanks for the sweet comment you left me!

Runner - Tuesday Oct 04, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

It's amazing how different I feel when I'm 115, as opposed to 117. It's a night and day difference, I tell you. Because the extra 2 pounds isn't sitting in my stomach. I'm still a bit bloated, but it's not as bad today.

As for the detox, I'm still drinking the powder-water combo in the morning but am eating regular meals and snacks, although I've tried to cut back on portion sizes for several reasons---I don't need the extra calories, and I get too full if I eat too much!

Does the detox work? I'm not too sure. I haven't noticed much of a difference in my "movements", but I'm too cheap to discontinue using the product. Maybe it takes a few days to really get my system moving. Anyway, the less-bloated feeling is probably due to a lack of white carbs in my body. I'm really trying to stay away from them...and I'm eating about 6 servings of fruit and veggies every day now. I love fruit, so I'll just get my sugar from something that's all-natural!

Now, if I can just stay away from the gouda cheese...once I start eating it, I can't stop!

Four hours later-----------

Isn't it funny how good intentions fly out the window when temptation presents itself? I have all sorts of candy in my house that I haven't touched in days, but someone just GAVE ME a big bag of AMAZING candy...like chocolate-covered toffee, thin mints, etc., and I helped myself to a generous portion. Let's see...I'm estimating the total damage was about 350 calories:

1. 3 chocolate covered toffee bites (200 cal.) ???

2. 2 thin mints (75 cal.)

3. One lemon-head (25 cal.)

4. 1 cashew, 1 macadamia nut (50 cal.) ?

That was SO not worth it! And now I feel guilty about eating an afternoon snack, as I'm determined to keep my calories to a minimum of 1600 today.

My battle plan: I will get rid of the rest of that candy and let someone else put those calories on their hips!

geevee on 10/05/2005:
How ever did you manage to eat only ONE cashew and ONE macademia nut? That's impossible for me!

We react to eating possibilities the same way. If one of my sons came over with a Key Lime pie there's no way I wouldn't eat it! just like you with the candy. I'd clear my mind of all good thoughts about eating what I should and be totally self-indulgent.

And chips. I refuse to buy them because if I did, I'd eat the entire bag in one sitting. I went to a party over a year ago and found an empty bowl that had been filled with chips. All that remained were some itty bitty crumbs. That didn't stop me! There I was getting every last one. The only thing I didn't do was lick the bowl for that taste of grease and salt.

Runner - Tuesday Oct 04, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 117.0

I think I got too excited too quickly on my new "detox" program. Because it's not working all of a sudden, and all the food I've eaten in the last 48 hours is still sitting in my stomach...hence, the higher number on the scale this morning.

I'm still taking the "body cleanse" packets, but I'm getting a bit skeptical. I paid about $40 for a week's worth of cleansing, and I've only had one "cleanse" so far...if you know what I mean.

I did have a little lapse last night and had some sugar, but it sure made me feel sick afterwards! So I'm vowing to do better today. So far I've had the cleanse drink, an apple, a guava, about 1 cup of mixed organic grains, and some soy nuts. And I feel STUFFED! It's amazing how full I get after just one snack. I guess that happens when there's blockage in the intestines...

I got some bloodwork done today and will get the endoscopy sometime next week. I was hoping beyond hope that I just have some "toxic buildup" in my system, but I can't even digest the "body cleanse" stuff! So it's more than that. Sigh.

sweetpea1977 on 10/04/2005:
Hey Runner,

Im sorry to hear this news. I thought for sure this was working for you! :o( I guess if it were me, I would finish up the rest of those cleanse packets and keep eating the same diet to see if anything else would happen. Plus, knowing me, if I paid $40 for something to digest I would use it up. Its hard for me to let food/drink go to waste!!

Im glad you are getting more tests done. Maybe something was missed on the first go around. Im really hoping the endoscopy (uncomfortable as may be), will reveal the answers to this mystery.

Hang in there Hon.


borntocry on 10/04/2005:
Hi Runner,

I had my doubts about the detox program. Actually I've never really believed in it. Maybe I'm just too cynical, but it's always seemed like New Age nonsense to me. But for whatever it's worth, I've found that grapes really seem to clean out my system, if you know what I mean! Maybe you could try that?

You're probably hardly eating anything these days because of that constant full feeling. It reminds me of that medicine for alcoholics which makes them feel ill if they so much as touch a drop of the stuff. It's like your blockage is doing the same thing for you! I bet once your system is finally cleaned out (hopefully through the detox, rather than anything more drastic!), you'll find that you've actually lost loads of weight. I know right now you feel like you've gained but I'm sure you haven't.

I hope I'm right about you and I hope you're right about me too and that I haven't gained as much as I think (although in my case there's good reason to think it!). It's funny you should ask whether I <i>feel</i> any heavier, as to tell you the truth, I don't. But like you, I'm a firm believer in the whole "a calorie is a calorie is a calorie" mentality, and I can't help but feel that all those calories have to go some place (and that place is right around my hips, if past experience is anything to go by!).

Well, good luck Runner... I hope things improve for you in the days to come. You are always in my thoughts, but particularly now.

Umpqua on 10/04/2005:
I'm just getting caught up on your last few entries, and I'm SO sorry to hear what's been happening and what you'll have to go through. I have no experience with cleansing like you described, but obviously your problem is far more serious than a toxic buildup. I also share your frustration and understand the mentality of wanting to cut calories - even if it's not helping you. Now that I'm officially up 5 pounds, I know that is what I have to do to get the weight back down, and it's very simple. I would be completely frustrated if I was eating correctly and still not losing. I hope they find a solution for you soon!

Runner - Sunday Oct 02, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.0

There must be something to the detox thing, because my bloating has been reduced significantly and I feel better already. I'm not doing a total detox...I'm still eating regular meals, for the most part. But I'm amazed at how I've gone 3 days now without breakfast! I am SUCH a breakfast person...I usually can't survive without my cereal!

But I'm drinking this liquid powder thing in the morning (that's about 150 calories) and it somehow suppresses my appetite until about noon. And then I'm trying to eat just fruits and veggies, grains, and a little protein.

Not to gross you out, but the stuff is cleaning me out. I think that's a good sign, as I fear I have a lot of toxic buildup in my system...due to all the pollution, stress, etc.

Anyway, I am also trying to take fish oil supplements and have decreased my exercise a bit...and I'm spending more time reading my Bible and praying. I feel calmer and more at peace with my situation, which is good, as I have to get some blood tests done tomorrow and then the endoscopy sometime in the next week or two.

Has anyone out there ever done a complete colon cleanse? I've been reading all sorts of opinions about it on the Internet, but everyone has a different opinion of how to do it. Some people think it's dangerous, but I'm not taking it to extremes...I'm not fasting, and I'm not just drinking juice. If I get hungry, I'll eat. I just hope it cleans out anything toxic in my body!

sweetpea1977 on 10/03/2005:
Yay! I am thrilled that your self-medication seems to be helping you out. Your cleansing diet sounds so healthy. Im very happy that you have cut back a tad on the exercise too. I was worried you were overdoing it and wearing yourself out needlessly.

I hope someone is able to answer your question about a complete colon clease. I have no experience in that and would be completely lost on how to do it safely! Anyway, I think what you are doing is working for now. Just keep monitoring your weight and how you feel each day.

Im keeping you in my thoughts. :o)


geevee on 10/03/2005:
That Chinese herbal tea will REALLY clean you out! I only used one tea bag and WOW!

How did the blender work in grinding up the flax seeds? I looked at mine and then my coffee grinder and both blades looked about the same to me. By the way, you need to keep it refrigerated so it doesn't get rancid.

Runner - Saturday Oct 01, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 118.0

Thank you, Geevee, BTC, and Sweetpea for your comments. I really do appreciate them. I know that hearing the truth isn't always easy, but I guess I've had a hard time believing that this "weight gain" has nothing to do with my eating habits. You know, for 7 years, I've been incredibly disciplined with eating and exercise. I thought I had this diet thing pretty well figured out. Sure, I fluctuated 1-3 pounds on a daily basis, but I have never "gained" up to 5 pounds in one week alone. And I know that it is due to my digestive problem. But there's still a little voice in the back of my head that says, "3500 calories equals one pound...more exercise means more calories burned...less calories means a weight loss."

So you see, because my weight can no longer be controlled, I feel helpless. I feel frustrated. I feel hopeless. For 7 years, I have been in control of my body, and now I'm not. I have to totally change my perspective, and it's hard. Most of you can just cut calories and add a little exercise and you WILL lose weight. I used to be that way, too. But my situation is far more complex now, so forgive me if I still resort back to the "calories in, calories out" thinking. I guess I am fearful that I will continue to gain 5-7 pounds a month before the doctors figure out what to do. So in the meantime, I've been doing a ton of research on my own. Because, like Geevee, I'm a bit skeptical of the doctors here. I mean, I don't have ANY PAIN. I'm just uncomfortable all the time and look like I'm 4 months pregnant!

I still think that there's the possibility of "toxic buildup" on my colon and in my intestines, and I plan to do a bit of cleansing to see if any waste is eliminated. I'm basically eating only lean proteins, high-fiber grains, fruits and veggies now. I've tried to really cut back on dairy, sugar, and oils. I'm going to do my best to cleanse my body naturally, while still maintaining a healthy exercise regimen. And if the scale continues to go up, like it did again this morning, I'll just keep that as ammunition for the doctor...so I can prove to him that the weight gain is NOT my fault.

sweetpea1977 on 10/01/2005:
Hey Honey,

I understand the whole mentality thing completely. We all have it for something, whether it be weight loss, self-doubt (which is something I battle with on a daily basis), or something else. You've been doing this diet thing for years, so your brain has been completely re-programmed. Its hard to learn new ways of thinking...it takes time.

I agree, you should do the cleansing and see what happens. Its also good that you plan on letting your doc know about this, so he doesnt think it was him that "fixed" you (if the cleansing is all you needed!).

Also, I read what geevee wrote in your previous entry. Perhaps she is onto something. Do you think you may need a second opinion? Perhaps a trip to the USA is in order. You need to know the real deal so you can get back to a normal life.

I really feel for you Runner. Your story frustrates me to no end. In fact, this entry made me shed tears, because I hate that you are going through this! Please know I am keeping you in my thoughts so that this can get solved soon as possible.

Love, Jenny

geevee on 10/01/2005:
Runner, I'd be upset too with a distended stomach, knowing that I'd eaten well and that neither the "bloat" nor the scale were being fair to me.

I'd definitely cut out sugar, but not the oil. Olive oil in particular as you well know is far too beneficial to eliminate from your diet.

I'm not a doctor and have never been to medical school, so I don't pretend to know more than your doctor. He probably made an educated guess about your problem under the general heading of "digestive problem" not really knowing what it is. Sometimes conditions are very hard to accurately diagnose. I'd continue searching the net for answers. Maybe you'll find a productive chatroom where you'll get some good info.

Meanwhile, keep eating right and don't go overboard on the exercise. Just do what you normally do.

Runner - Thursday Sep 29, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 118.0

My eating only gets better while my weight only gets worse.

There's no light at the end of the tunnel, either, as the next step is an endoscopy and then surgery. I just don't want to think about this right now. I just want to eat food, enjoy it, and not blow up like a blowfish.

I've always been a optimistic person, but pessimism has been creeping into my thoughts a lot lately...and that bothers me, too. Attitude is so important, but I am just cringing at the fact that I was 118 this morning. I haven't been that weight for over a year!

How could I put on 4 pounds in one month? My lowest weight this month was 111.5 about 4 weeks ago. My highest weight was at night about 2 days ago, when I was 120. That's a HUGE difference. I'm so weary of this...and I've been avoiding eating out AT ALL because I'm so afraid to eat a big meal!

borntocry on 09/30/2005:
Hi Runner,

I can understand why you're feeling so pessimistic. The idea of undergoing endoscopy and surgery is a horrible thought. But why do you keep insisting that you've "put on 4 pounds on one month"? I was sure all this would stop once you got your diagnosis. Before, maybe you were afraid that the bloating was all in your mind. But now that you know you've got an actual medical condition which is causing these weight fluctuations, how can you expect to counteract them by eating less or exercising more? Did your doctor tell you that your problem could be cured through diet and exercise? I doubt it, as if I recall correctly he said your weight loss may actually have contributed to it.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read the comment you left me. You actually said you were "gaining weight" in your stomach! Don't you see that you aren't actually gaining weight? You've been suffering so much lately, unable to eat anything without blowing up - can't you tell that this is the result of a real medical problem and that it's this problem which is causing your weight fluctuations?

I think your anxiety is quite justified - but with regard to your health, not your weight! It's so obvious that you are not actually gaining weight that all I can think is that you must be subconsciously fixating on the weight in an effort to avoid thinking about the real problem, which so much more worrying!

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I really care for you and I don't like to see you so upset over something which is obviously not your fault and beyond your control! I know it must be tough to accept this but you have to put your faith in your doctors or in some higher power now - you can't expect to be able to cure yourself! And even if you could, surely all this stress and anxiety will only do more harm than good!

sweetpea1977 on 09/30/2005:
Hey Runner,

Thanks for the holiday food suggestions!!

Also, I agree 110% with EVERY THING that BTC said. Thankfully, she was able to say what I've been trying to tell you ever since you got your diagnosis.

I know it is frustrating and scary to see a higher weight on the scale. But PLEASE remember, this isnt an eating problem or exercise problem, it is a digestive disorder. The solution to "losing" this "extra weight" is not eating much less and moving a lot more; the solution now lies with medicine and surgery.

Like BTC, I hope you dont think Im being harsh. Sometimes, it is hard for you to realize that this isnt your fault. You are beating yourself up for no reason. Noone deserves the emotional beating you are putting yourself through.

Runner, please dont go to extremes with eating and exercise. It wont help in decreasing the high number on the scale (due to a digestive disorder!). Plus, it will only end up making you sick, which will only add to your health concerns. Just do it all in moderation and let the doctor do the rest.

Love, Jenny

geevee on 09/30/2005:
OH, Runner. What a frustrating situation to be in! You know I fully understand where you're coming from.

I'm not sure that I have as much faith in your doctor's ability to diagnose your problem as others do. What if he chose "a digestive disorder" just to have some sort of an answer to your problem? Am I getting jaded? It's just that I've read so much about people with hard to diagnose conditions and how wrong doctors can be. Did he feel compelled to say "something" whether he was sure about it or not?

All you can do for the moment is to eat the right foods and don't have any lapses. Continue your normal exercise regimen of running and whatever. Don't do "extra". Then, you'll really know that the bloating is beyond your control and that you won't be damaging your system more by over-exercising.

Hang in there, Runner.

PS - I just remembered about the flaxmeal. If you can't find the meal, but flax seeds are available, you can grind them up and make your own flaxmeal using a coffee grinder. I have one I use for making my expresso. Once, I needed to grind up some spice so I carefully cleaned out the grinder of all traces of coffee and it worked perfectly for the spice.

Runner - Thursday Sep 29, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 117.0

I didn't actually weigh myself this morning...I couldn't bring myself to do it, as I was 120 (!!!) before bed last night. After the cake incident, I went on a 1 hour hike, lifted weights, and swam for a bit. Then I came home and had a salad, some S.F. pudding and some whole grains. The bloating was terrible right before bed, and I just couldn't resist stepping on the scale. Boy, was I disgusted. Every time I eat, it's a "post-Thanksgiving" feeling, even though I'm not eating a lot of food!

So I couldn't bring myself to step on the scale this morning, although I'm estimating that I was at least 117. There's no way I lost more than 3 pounds of water weight overnight, as I woke up just as bloated!

I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow. Meanwhile, I'm hating the fact that the scale continues to inch upwards, even though I'm trying so hard not to overeat. It's just not fair.

If I didn't exercise like a fiend, I KNOW I would be about 125 right now.

borntocry on 09/29/2005:
Hi Runner,

Since you know your extra weight is just due to bloating, maybe you need to use a different method to keep track of your body. Maybe you could take measurements of yourself instead. This might not be accurate enough to appeal to perfectionists like us, but surely even we can see that how we look is more important than how much we weigh. I know people who don't work out at all and look kind of pudgy but weigh around 100 lb. Would you rather be like them?

In fact, I'm sure you could be like them if you didn't work out so much. You're probably just building more and more muscle, which weighs more than fat. You know, my husband looks so skinny that his team mates make fun of him for it, and yet he weighs a lot more than other people his height.

Thanks for the comment you left me. I've stopped making my own oatcakes because I found that the imported ones at the store are actually lower-calorie than the ones I made at home. And also, I used to always have too many of the home-made ones, because I guess at the back of my mind I thought they were healthier and thus it didn't matter how many I ate. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Well, I hope your doctor can do something about this continued bloating. It really isn't fair for you to have that stuffed feeling all the time when you're hardly eating anything. If this bloating ever does go away you'll probably find out that you probably weigh 10 lb. less than you think!

sweetpea1977 on 09/29/2005:
Hey Runner,

You had commented on one of my entries about healthy holiday meals. Do you have any favorite recipes for sides and desserts? We plan on having family up for one of the holidays this year, and I want to make sure Im feeding my families healthy and tasty foods! :o) And of course, the holidays are more than just food. I truly appreciate the family togetherness! It would be really great to play a game of football or baseball right before the main meal followed by boardgames or some other family activity. This will be really fun once kids come into the picture! :o) Anyway, I am so sorry about the bloat your are dealing with. Unfortunately, it sounds like the medicine isnt working at all. You poor thing!

I think it is ok to exercise, because if you didnt, you will gain weight, regardless of your digestive disorder. It is so much harder for maintainers to keep the weight off than for losers to lose weight. Just please listen to your body and try not to overdo it. Like I said earlier, according to science, too much exercise will only do you harm.

Runner, I sincerely hope that your doctor has something else to try before you have to resort to surgery. Keep us posted!

Love, Jenny

Runner - Wednesday Sep 28, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

116 yesterday, 115 today.

I'm definitely not over this bloating thing. Even though I'm taking medicine to help my digestion, I'm still blowing up like a balloon. I could start complaining about how I'm spending up to 3 hours exercising while eating around 1800 calories, but complaining will get me nowhere. I just had a big piece of cake, anyway, so I should fess up to that while I'm at it!

I'd like to start eating more foods like flaxseed, quinoa, sprouts, etc., but there's one problem: that kind of food is almost non-existant here. I know of a few organic grocery stores, but everything is super-expensive, and most of the labeling is in Chinese. But I sometimes wonder if this bloating isn't partially due to "toxic" stuff in my system...I really do think I'd benefit from a total body cleansing, but I'm not sure where to start!

My goal is to stay around 1800 calories today and to take a little bit of time to relax...I've been working pretty hard lately.

***************UPDATE (one hour later)

I just resorted back to old habits and wandered upstairs to where the cake was last spotted. There was still quite a bit left, and since no one was around, I helped myself to about 3 pieces. Pathetic. I'm pathetic. It wasn't even really that good, and I wasn't really hungry! I ate it for no good reason...and I hate it when I do things like that. Now I feel very guilty. It's a momentary lapse, but I can't afford extra calories right now! Everything I eat goes straight to my stomach!

borntocry on 09/28/2005:
Hi Runner,

You poor thing! I know how you must feel. Although I think you can afford three pieces of cake every now and then, I know it how terrible it feels to find yourself over-indulging when you aren't even hungry. I do it all the time! I guess it's just a bad habit which we have yet to break.

Perhaps we need to train ourselves to stop seeing cake and other sweet treats as guilty pleasures. I'm sure that is what makes us want to eat as much as we can, even of something we don't really like. We don't act like that around all kinds of food. For instance, someone left some cartons of orange juice in my office the other day, and because it's a type of juice that I don't like, I haven't been at all tempted to have any, even though I know most of it will go to waste!! But if it were a cake, even a kind of cake I don't like, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to ignore it!

Oh, and about your quest for organic foods and whole grains, have you thought about ordering online? I've tried a place called <a href="http://www.barryfarm.com" target="_blank">Barry Farm</a> in the past and they stock a lot of health foods like quinoa and flax meal. It is a bit expensive, but take a look and see what you think.

geevee on 09/28/2005:
Runner, don't feel so bd about the cake. I did the very same thing at 2 in the morning with the snap pea crisps I had bought ages ago and had only had one ounce. There were 2� left. I ate about one, tried and tried to no avail to go back to sleep after this greasy, hig-cal treat, and then got up to finish the bag, all the while convincing myself that this was the best thing to do to get them out of the house. Forget about throwing them out. I can't do that! So I ended up with an extra 300+ calories for no reason at all. I wasn't hungry either.

About the flax see and meal. The lignins and other good things in flax seeds are unavailable if you eat the seeds whole, which are, as you know, very small. They just pass through your body. But, if they are ground up into meal, then your body can absorb everything in them. So when you see cereal or bread coated with flax seeds, it's a waste. You need the meal. Grinding up the seeds is what needs to be done. I get it in either a one or two pound bag at Wild Oats, depending on what's in stock. I also get quinoa there too, both in the bulk bins and already packaged. It's a very nutritious grain as you already know.

Using flaxmeal is very much like using wheat germ. I just love the nutty flavor of these grains. I'm attracted to breads and grains the way you are to cake and sweets. Given a choice I'd choose a sandwich over any dessert.

Runner - Monday Sep 26, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

Boo-hoo. Back to 116 before my run, 115 after. But I'm NOT letting it get me down. So far so good today...the baby shower hasn't happened yet, though, and since I was in charge of all the food, I hope there are no leftovers! I'll be fine during the shower, but I often "lose it" when I'm putting away the leftovers. So I hope the ladies eat all of it! And if they don't, I'm calling in my husband!!!

borntocry on 09/26/2005:
Hi Runner,

I meant to congratulate you on being back at 114 lb, but I guess I'm already too late! Oh well, you know you haven't really gained anything in just one day. So congratulations anyway!

Thanks for the comment you left me. I just wish I had read it a little earlier! I'm afraid I lost the battle with the egg and cress dish. I wish I could stop treating myself like a garbage disposal unit!

Good luck with the baby shower. I have the same problem you do, which is that I can resist my own treats as long as there is a chance someone else might still have them. It's the leftovers which always prove my undoing. Maybe you should offer to let someone else take the leftovers home? I have seen people do that here at work. If anyone seems to particularly love one of your treats, why not ask her if she wants to take the leftovers home with her? I'm sure she would be more than happy!

sweetpea1977 on 09/26/2005:
Hey Runner,

BTC beat me to the punch! I was gonna suggest having a few of the ladies split up your treats and take them home as leftovers. It would be less work for you (to pack it all away) as well as less damage to your stellar eating habits. :o)

Keep up the good spirits!


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