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Runner - Sunday Sep 25, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 114.0

Hooray! I saw 114 today! I'm not holding my breath, as I am back up to 119 tonight, but I DID see 114 today and 114.5 yesterday morning, so that made me feel a lot better!

I only have a minute, but I wanted to say THANKS to Jenny for the web links! You always keep me well-informed! :)

And THANKS to BTC for the recipe! That cake sounds delicious! I'm going to look through the titles of those other recipes more closely and let you know if I'd like any of them. They look so interesting!

I had some minor slip-ups tonight, but I'm looking forward to a good week of healthy eating. Tomorrow may be hard, as I have a baby shower to go to, but I'll just try to focus on anything but the food!!!

BethH on 09/25/2005:
Congrats....Remember at night you weigh more than you do in the morning. Have a great week. Beth :)

Runner - Friday Sep 23, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.0

You guys always help me put things in perspective! Thanks for the advice. Sweetpea, you are right on target, as usual! Thanks for the "kick in the butt." I appreciate every single comment...more than you probably realize! It's nice to know that people understand my frustrations. Umpqua, it's comforting to know that your weight fluctuates as much as mine does! (even though I sympathize with you, too...because I know how "not fun" it is!)

I woke up this morning and decided that I was not going to have a bitter attitude about my weight. So even though I still saw 116 on the scale, I determined not to let it ruin my day. And it hasn't. I also resisted buying some very tempting snacks when I was quite hungry at lunchtime. Instead, I went home and snacked on celery and carrots while preparing my lunch. I was sooo tempted to just give in and eat some highly-caloric stuff, but I knew that I'd only regret it later. And I really did want my healthy salad and fruit, so I stuck to my plan, although it wasn't easy! But now that lunchtime is done and over with, I'm sooo glad I didn't stray off course! I know that there will be more temptations this weekend, so I want to make sure that I indulge in the treats I really want...not just the ones that are convenient.

Attitude plays such an important part in how I feel, and I'm determined to keep a positive attitude through all of this...life could be far worse, that's for sure!

borntocry on 09/23/2005:
Hi Runner,

Glad to see that you are trying to maintain a positive attitude. I need to do the same. It's so difficult, though! I don't know whether it's harder for you, knowing that you don't deserve what you're going through, or me, knowing that I do!

Thanks for that sweet potato cornbread recipe! It sounds like just my type of thing. How well you know me! I'm going to have to try it soon, although hopefully not within the next week or two! And it's funny you should leave me a recipe now as I've just finished translating the recipe for the savoury three-cheese cake which my co-worker brought to the picnic the other day. I've tried to convert the measurements as I don't know which format you use (I can never get the hang of centilitres myself!).

Ingredients:<br> 3 eggs<br> 150g (1� cups) flour<br> 1 sachet (1� tsp?) baking powder<br> 10 cl (6 tbsp) sunflower oil<br> 12.5 cl (� cup) whole milk<br> 100 g (4 oz) grated Swiss cheese<br> 100 g (4 oz) blue cheese<br> 100 g (4 oz) mimolette cheese (kind of like Gouda or cheddar)<br> 2 pinches pepper

Preheat your oven to 180�C.

In a salad bowl, bear the eggs, the flour and the baking powder. Add the oil and warm milk little by little. Stir in the Swiss cheese.

Crumble the blue cheese and dice the mimolette. Add the cheese to the batter and mix delicately with a spatula.

Turn the batter into an ungreased loaf tin and bake in the oven for 45 min.

Note: Bring all ingredients to room temperature beforehand.

I actually have all of my co-worker's recipes for savoury cakes, so if you're interested in any of the others just let me know (check out some of the weird French combinations!):

Salmon and Sorrel Cake<br> Salmon and Tarragon Cake<br> Salmon and Leek Cake<br> Scallop, Leek and Parmesan Cake<br> Chicken and Tarragon Cake<br> Bacon and Prune Cake<br> Bacon, Prune and Hazelnut Cake<br> Spinach, Watercress and Fennel Cake<br> Crab and Chive Cake<br> Artichoke and Olive Cake<br> Tuna and Pepper Cake<br> Tuna and Tomato Cake<br> Tuna and Chive Cake<br> Anchovy, Tomato and Black Olive Cake<br> Rabbit, Prune and Watercress Cake<br> Ham and Olive Cake<br> Ham, Edam Cheese and Pistachio Cake<br> Bacon and Olive Cake<br> Goat Cheese and Zucchini Cake<br> Pepper, Feta and Black Olive Cake<br> Tomato and Candied Ginger Cake<br> Tomato and Orange Cake<br> Seafood Cake<br> Tomato, Mozzarella and Basil Cake<br> Smoked Salmon and Herring Cake<br> Cheddar, Ham, Beer and Mustard Cake<br> Ham, Gouda and Cumin Cake<br> Ratatouille Cake<br> Mixed Vegetable and Cumin Cake<br> Mushroom Cake<br> Goat Cheese, Walnut and Raisin Cake<br> Banana Lard Cake<br> Asparagus and Chanterelle Cake<br> Chicken Liver and Pine Nut Cake<br> Blood Sausage and Apple Cake<br> Potato and Zucchini Cake<br> Roquefort Cheese, Lard and Walnut Cake<br> Blue Cheese and Walnut Cake<br> Foie Gras and Smoked Duck Cake<br> Smoked Salmon Cake<br> Auvergnat Ham and Tomme Cheese Cake<br> Sausage and Livarot Cheese Cake<br> Alsa�e (Swiss Cheese, Onion and Smoked Bacon) Cake<br> Savoyard (Reblochon Cheese, Onion and Smoked Bacon) Cake<br> Sausage, Tomato and Onion Cake<br> Sausage and Camembert Cake<br> Chorizo and Maroilles Cheese Cake<br> Raclette Cheese and Bacon Cake

sweetpea1977 on 09/23/2005:
Hey Runner,

You're most welcome for the kick in the butt. :o) I really like today's entry, by the way! Hearing about your successful day of eating made me smile.

I found the article you requested, as well as a few others:





Keep up that positive attitude and have a wonderful weekend!


blacksheep on 09/23/2005:
It sounds like you have a great attitude and that should help you alot!! Good luck!

breakaway on 09/23/2005:
Never fails, whenever I come back on here your here :) You have always been a great inspiration to me because you have always done very well. Even though you have some down falls you always can pick yourself back up again. Having celery and carrots while making lunch was awesome! It's a great idea one I should try next time. YOu did a great job today.

Runner - Wednesday Sep 21, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 116.5

Although I was encouraged by all your kind comments, I am feeling worse than ever right now. In theory, I should be about 113 by now. Isn't losing weight all about eating less and moving more?

But for some reason, my weight has continued to go UP. And where I was once appalled by 115, I am now disgusted beyond belief at 116.5.

Am I overreacting? Probably. But, friends, you have to understand where I've come from. And only one month ago, I was holding steady to 112.5 and 113.

Since then, I've had to deal with this bloating thing and my weight has only gone up, up, up. Does 3 1/2 pounds sound like a lot to you? Well, it sounds like a lot to me. Especially because I really don't think I've deserved it...I've continued to eat around 1600-1800 calories, but I've also been exercising almost every spare minute. It's really out of control...I feel so out of balance. My whole day revolves around planning what to eat and finding time to run, walk, hike, lift weights, or swim.

I can hardly focus at work and I'm so conscious of my stomach. I feel like I'm going off the deep end...and I think my husband feels helpless as well. He tries to encourage me, but I just don't feel like listening.

I'm so jealous of people who are "normal." People who eat regular meals and spend a mere 30 minutes a day exercising. People who enjoy their favorite foods and still maintain their weight.

I don't enjoy eating any more. Every time I eat now, I know I will bloat up and I'm so afraid to keep stepping on the scale. I've made my meals smaller and I'm not quite as bloated, but I'm still heavier than I have been in over a year. I KNOW it's not due solely to the bloating...because even when I have NO FOOD in my stomach, I'm still about 116. So I've gained weight. That's the bottom line. I just wish I knew HOW I could gain weight. And it doesn't seem like I'll be able to take it off anytime soon. I can't eat fewer than 1500 calories or I'll be starving all day...and I don't want to slow down my metabolism.

Oh, friends...I feel like my diet is so complicated now. Losing weight and maintaining my weight is so complicated! I have all these other factors playing a part, and my body is out of my control! In theory, eating less and moving more should result in weight loss. But it hasn't worked that way for me, and I'm baffled as to what to do next.

borntocry on 09/22/2005:
Hi Runner,

I'm so sorry! You don't deserve this - it's so unfair! It must be due to the blockage in your system. That's the only explanation. You may think you have no food in your stomach but it takes up to 24 hours to pass through your system entirely. And with your problem, probably even longer than that. I'm sure that's what's causing this apparent weight gain. There's just no reason for it otherwise.

sweetpea1977 on 09/22/2005:

Yes, 3.5 pounds is a lot for anyone to gain. But, you have an excuse! Your doctor has diagnosed you with a digestive disorder. So, please keep in mind that all the exercise you do and the healthy eating habits you follow wont stop you from having the digestive disorder. You have to understand that this bloat/blockage is something you have little control over with normal means.

With the blood vessel in the way, it slows down your digestive process. Most people digest their food in one day. In your case, it may take your digestive system to digest (and eliminate) food in 2-3 days. So, my guess is that your body is probably holding to 2-3 days worth of food at a time. This is your blood vessels fault, not yours!

My suggestions:

Please dont overdo the exercise. Not only does your body need time to rest so it can repair muscle cells, constant exercise can lower your immune system and cause the person to get severely sick. Just the other day, I read that heavy physical training every day with no significant periods of rest is linked to the chronic suppression of white blood cells (the foundation of your immune system). Too much exercise will only lead to colds, flus, and who knows what else.

Keep eating at least 1500 calories. I will mention that I read somewhere that women who exercise for one hour or more each day should consume about 45 calories per 1 kg of body weight to maintain their weight. So, in your case to maintain at 112-113 lbs (approx. 51kg), it is recommended that you should consume 2295 calories per day, but this is also assuming that you have a 100% normal digestive system. Sounds like a lot of calories to anyone, but an active person (athletes/runners) needs more calories to function properly.

Perhaps the main thing you should do is ask the doctor about what kinds of food to concentrate on and what foods to avoid to minimize blockage/bloat.

Keep taking the medication for a bit longer. It may take a while to kick in, so don't give up hope just yet. But, if the medicine ends up not alleviating the problem, then I would look into getting that sugery done.

Runner, you don't deserve this mental and physical torture! You deserve to enjoy the foods you eat instead of being afraid of them. You deserve to be normal again!

Umpqua on 09/22/2005:
I honestly share your frustration right now, but I can't imagine what it would be like to live like this all the time. I don't believe you should weigh what you do - I don't think it's a "true" weight. I have my TOM right now and am really bloated. My Friday weight of 114.5 last week shot up to 122.5 yesterday morning! Then this morning, just 24 hours later, it was 118.5 This makes NO sense to me, so I'm dismissing it and just thinking my body is out of whack.

But I know you have to deal with this on a regular basis. You're doing all the right things so I don't think you should restrict your calories any more. I just hope your doctors find a solution soon, I can't even imagine the frustration you are experiencing.

borntocry on 09/22/2005:
Just wanted to add that your doctor did tell you to weigh yourself every day, and that means that he must suspect that your problem could cause weight fluctuations. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked you to keep track of your weight. So no, you haven't really gained weight. And please, don't forget that the reason you have this problem is because you lost too much weight in the first place!

Runner - Tuesday Sep 20, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

HI, friends! I just got back from the doctor's office. Although I can't exactly tell you what my problem is, it has something to do with the way my body digests food. Basically, there's some "blockage" there due to a blood vessel that has gotten in the way. So when I eat, my body has a very hard time digesting the food, which is why I've been so bloated. Although I may need to have surgery at a later date, the doctor is giving me some sort of medicine to see if my symptoms are alleviated.

Two things are quite peculiar:

1. The first thing he asked me was if I'd lost weight recently. I guess there's not enough "fatty tissue" in my system, which may have caused this particular organ (I don't know its correct name) to become smaller. So I likely brought all this on myself by just losing some weight. (although I really haven't lost weight for a year...so it must have started awhile ago! Come to think of it, I have dealt with the on/off bloating thing for over a year now...)

2. The doctor wants me to weigh myself every day so I can see if my weight fluctuates. He told me this as if I never weigh myself...little does he know! So the scale will come out tomorrow morning again. It's been a wonderful two days without it, but I guess I should just suck it up and realize that my weight WILL be crazy for awhile.

I may not see 113 for awhile, but that's okay. I'm just relieved that the doctor didn't see any tumors or something. His advice to me is just to eat small meals, which I normally do anyway. After the big meal on Sunday night (which was a normal-sized meal for almost anyone), I was so uncomfortable I could hardly stand it! So eating smaller meals shouldn't be too much of a problem.

But sometimes my "smaller" meals are higher in calories, because I'm tempted to grab a spoon and attack the peanut butter when I need a snack or something...so I'll still have to watch what I eat.

Anyway...I guess I'll just have to see if this medicine works. If not, I think I'll do some research on the surgery. All I know is that I want my normal stomach back!!! Maybe someday...

borntocry on 09/20/2005:
Hi Runner,

Wow! I can't believe it! Finally an answer to your problem!! I'm so glad it's nothing too serious. And I hope the medicine can take care of it.

You know, I always knew that there was no fat on your body. I used to ask you that whenever you complained about your weight fluctuations. With all that exercise you do I knew your weight had to be all muscle. And I was right! You probably have not a single ounce of fat anywhere on your body. What an achievement! It's a pity that it turned out to have such a negative side-effect on your health, but maybe now you can relax a little and not stress so much about every little lapse!

I'm so glad that this mystery has finally been solved.

Thanks for the comment you left me. It's funny that both of us brought Baby Ruth candy bars back from America. I was afraid I would never get around to having mine because I would never be able to make room for 280 extra calories! And of course I could never trust myself to just have half. So it's probably a good thing that I've finally finished it off. Now, at least it won't ruin my calorie count on an otherwise good day.

sweetpea1977 on 09/20/2005:
You dont know how relieved I am now after reading about your doctor's findings. Finally, you know what the problem is! You can finally relax! I hope the medicine he gives you lessens your bloat problem so you wont have to go through surgery.

Im so glad that it was nothing serious. Now we all can breathe since we know our Runner is okay! :o)

Liza36 on 09/20/2005:
I have been reading your entries every day (sorry I didn't comment) and have been anxious to know how the tests and doctor's appointments have gone. I am relieved, and I'm sure you are too, that there are no tumors or serious things going on. I truly hope the medicine will work, and that you will feel back to normal soon. The doctor's recommendations sound like what you are already doing (weighing yourself, eating small meals), so I hope the medication does the trick.

Stay well, and keep us posted.

geevee on 09/20/2005:
What a relief it must be to know that there's nothing seriously wrong with you! Let's hope the medicine does the trick.

Runner - Sunday Sep 18, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

At my request, my husband has hid my scale until I figure out what is causing this bloating. I can't bear to see my weight continue to go up, and I KNOW that it would have been too mentally difficult this morning, as I had a big BBQ with friends last night and threw all my discipline out the window. I was terribly uncomfortable before bed...the extra food made my stomach so distended that I knew it would be psychologically damaging to step on the scale.

So it's gone at the moment. I can't believe I've had to do this, but I can't handle it anymore. After a week of disciplined eating and insane amounts of exercise, I have only gained more weight. Although I did indulge last night, I felt like I deserved it. (But I sure regretted it afterwards!)

I meet with the doctor this week. If there is a reason I am blowing up like a balloon and staying "inflated," then I want to know what it is. But I just cannot keep weighing myself and seeing such high numbers. It's killing me. So this morning I woke up, looked at my bloated belly, and looked over where my scale usually sits. It's no longer there, and it's somewhere in my house, hidden away. As far as I'm concerned right now, it can stay hidden!

sweetpea1977 on 09/19/2005:
I hate that you are going through this, especially since it has gotten you to the point of you hiding the scale from yourself! I'm crossing my fingers in hopes that the doctor solves this mystery for you once and for all.


geevee on 09/19/2005:
Having your husband hide the scale was NOT an easy thing to do! It was the wisest possible action for you to take, considering that you knew your weight would be up and that even if you hadn't had that barbecue, it would have been up anyway. When the situation gets beyond one's control, these things have to be done.

I was watching "Friends", a movie starring and directed by Kenneth Branaugh with Rita Rudner who was perfect as the diet fanatic. In one scene she's pigging out in the middle of the night. The next shot shows a friend who finds her at the refrigerator where Rita at this point is on the floor doing exercises. She takes another bite of something and then declares that she'll run that off in the morning. It was so well done and funny, but oh, so true!

borntocry on 09/19/2005:
Hi Runner,

You poor thing! I can only imagine how horrible it must be for you to see the number on your scale going up when you haven't really done anything to deserve it. In my case I know it's all my own fault and yet I still feel so devastated to see the actual damage. It must be so much worse for you. I hope your doctor has some answers for you this week. If he doesn't, then perhaps you could try to work out if you could be suffering from some sort of food allergy - maybe something like a lactose allergy or Celiac disease. I know you don't have all the symptoms but I believe not everyone has them all.

Thanks so much for the reassuring comment you left me, despite all that you have been going through yourself lately. I thought about what you wrote and you're right - I don't want to give up running so I guess all I would do differently if I were to "give up" is to eat more. And that is what I've been doing for the last couple of days and you're right, it didn't make me feel any better. If anything I found that I don't enjoy food as much when I'm not hungry.

And even though I fear it's unlikely, I'm going to cling to that hope you gave me that part of the 3 lb. I gained could be due to normal weight fluctuations. I guess I'll find out the next time I weigh myself!

Runner - Saturday Sep 17, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 114.5

I'm trying hard not to complain, but I was disgusted to still see 116.5 when I woke up this morning. Come on! In the past, all this exercise combined with some low-cal days would mean a drop on the scale at some point! But my body is just refusing to cooperate. I know the bloating has something to do with it, but I'm just so tired of seeing anything above 115...since I pretty much maintained 113-114 for a year.

Anyway, there's nothing I can do except keep eating right and exercising...and hope that the doctor can help me out!

I can only imagine what my weight would be if I DIDN'T exercise or eat right!

Tonight my husband and I are going out on a date, but I think I'm going to pack us a dinner and just split a snack like ice cream later on. If I can avoid eating dinner out, then I won't feel too guilty about the snack! And it gives me something to look forward to!

geevee on 09/17/2005:
You know, Runner, the same type of thinking keeps me going too. How much would I weigh if I didn't do what I do?

There appears to be a "point of resistence" for both of us in our quest for weight control. What you're experiencing at 116, is what is happening to me at 126. No sooner do I get there, then I immediately go up one or two pounds.

I remember your commenting about the last few stubborn pounds and how it took you a year to get rid of them. Well, it's been about a year for me and I haven't succeeded yet!

Runner - Friday Sep 16, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 115.0

So much for 113.5.

I only have a minute, but I wanted to check in with all of you! I appreciate your concern and encouragement so much! You guys are great!!!

My x-rays were today, and I was at the hospital over 5 hours...I had to drink a chalky white liquid and then wait for it to move through various parts of my body before I could get x-rayed. Unfortunately, I won't know the results of the x-rays until next week. But I don't want to ever have to go through all that again! It was NOT fun, let me tell you, especially since I had to have my husband translate everything that the doctors and nurses said. I just felt very small and helpless.

The only good thing was that I couldn't eat or drink anything while all this was happening, so I didn't eat a thing until 2:00pm. I think I can actually have a day under 1500 calories! I'm definitely not planning to pig out simply because I had to skip breakfast and lunch! You know, I think that's the first time I've EVER skipped two meals...and I'm still alive! It actually felt kinda good to be hungry, you know?

I'll try to catch up on more entries tomorrow....and I hope I can see 113.5 again sometime this weekend, although I'm not holding my breath!!

Umpqua on 09/16/2005:
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I was lactose intolerant as a child and had to go through the same thing, and I did not want to drink the white stuff (I think it's barium?) Anyway, I'm glad it's over and hopefully they'll get some good results and figure out what's been going on with you! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

borntocry on 09/16/2005:
Hi Runner,

Glad your tests are over. Now I guess we just have to wait until next week for the results.

Thanks for the comment you left me. I made three kinds of cookies - ordinary chocolate chip, dark chocolate chip with walnuts, and white chocolate chip with macadamia nuts. It occurred to me later that I could have gotten even more creative, with M'n'Ms and all kinds of other stuff, but it was too late to go out and get anything else!

Runner - Thursday Sep 15, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 114.0

Back to 114, but I don't think it's due to calories...although I did indulge in some cookie dough last night, I pretty much worked those calories into my "daily total," and I don't think I was over my limit by too much at all...plus, I've been hiking up to 1 1/2 hours every day in addition to my runs, so I've been getting enough exercise!

You know what's weird? I haven't really been hungry the last couple of days, but I've continued to eat meals and snacks, which is stupid, as I shouldn't have to eat if I'm not hungry! But eating is such a habit...and although I know my body needs fuel, I often feel like I'm giving it too much fuel that it doesn't really need. I bet if I could learn how to just eat when I'm hungry that I could maintain my weight a little better.

My doctor's appointment is tomorrow...I'm getting my intestines x-rayed. Ugh. I have to drink some gross liquid and can't eat or drink anything after midnight until my appointment is over. I'm really dreading this...

borntocry on 09/15/2005:
Hi Runner,

How do you find time for all that exercise? I already feel like running takes up so much of my time - there's no way I could even imagine adding something else to it!

I know what you mean about making sure you eat even when you're not hungry. I do it too, and I think it's because I feel that I must need food and that if I don't eat I'll soon get to the point where I'm starving and out of control. But now I'm beginning to think that it's normal to be hungrier some days than others. We're not machines and I'm sure our metabolic rates fluctuate from day to day. We tend to eat more on hungry days so it makes sense that we should eat less when we're not as hungry!

Thanks for the comment you left me. You were right - I didn't really have room in my oven for all that stuff. The cinnamon buns ended up looking really squashed and it took me hours to bake the cookies because I had to do them in so many batches!

Well, good luck with your doctor's appointment. It does sound like an ordeal... but at least he seems to have been able to come up with quite a barrage of tests to help shed some light on your problem!

sweetpea1977 on 09/15/2005:
Hey Runner,

You are most welcome for the email! I hope that the links were useful.

As for the Biggest Loser, it has some of the the typical over-dramatic reality tv show qualities to it. If you ever saw any episode of Survivor, then you will have an idea on the "drama" they put into it with camera angles and dramatic music.

BUT, at least I learn something from it, unlike the other reality shows. I gain tips on how to lose weight, learn new methods of exercise, or a new way to motivate someone who may be struggling in my world. The best part is watching these people transform physically, but more importantly mentally. Its great seeing hopelessness and desperation being replaced with a sense of accomplishment, tears of joy, and huge smiles!

Here is the link to the website if you are interested in learning about the characters and the show: http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/

Im not sure how I handle my eating habits. I do know I do better during the work week. I stay busy/distracted at work with my workload and keeping up with the gals on DD's. Sometimes I FORGET to eat while at work! I wish I could say the same for the weekends, LOL!

Well, keep us posted on the doctor's appointment. I know it wont be fun, but it may help in solving this mysterious bloat situation once and for all!

geevee on 09/15/2005:
Those days when we're not hungry come so seldom!We're such creatures of habit I'm always catching myself about to eat when I'm really not hungry and then stop. I find this is especially true with snacking. 99% of the time there is no need for me to snack. It's simply this acquired habit that urges me on. Lately, though, every time that dark chocolate or the cashews pop into my head, I've been able to disniss the idea with no trouble at all. I have to train myself just like little children are trained.

gigi43 on 09/15/2005:
I hope your x-rays go well. Just a word of warning about that gross liquid:

My husband had to have x-rays when he had his kidney stones and the doctor warned him that after he drank the stuff he would have a DIRE need to urinate. He didn't take him very seriously thinking, "I'm a grown man - of course I can hold it!" But he said he couldn't remember a time when he had to use the bathroom with such urgency and he almost didn't make it through the x-ray. That was ten years ago and I don't know if it's the same stuff or not, but try to be prepared!

Hope they get to the bottom of what's wrong with you - good luck!

Runner - Tuesday Sep 13, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.5

Well, I made it through last night's get-together with minimal damage...two pieces of homemade apple strudel. (That I made myself) And now I'm making my husband finish off the leftovers because it's just TOO GOOD.

And I was thrilled to see 113.5 after my run today. I almost feel back-to-normal, even though I was 115 when I woke up. But I have been careful not to eat foods that might increase the constant bloat.

I feel like I'm falling apart physically, though. I just have so many minor things "wrong" with me...from my menstrual cycles to my thyroid to the bloating...and yet they're probably all related somehow! I really don't want to focus on my health here, but I am a little worried, as I got some tests back yesterday that said my white blood cell count is very low...lower than it should be, that's for sure! So what does that mean? I tried "googling" all sorts of stuff about white blood cell counts, but didn't really find what I was looking for. (Like how does a person's blood cell count drop? What causes it?)

Anyway, maybe that is somehow related to the bloating...maybe I just have some crazy foreign substance in my tummy that is wrecking havoc on my digestive system! The strange thing is that I have no other symptoms---no pain, no strange bowel movements (sorry!), no stomach cramping.

Okay, I'm going to quit writing about this now. Back to the food. I have to bake cookies tonight for some students tomorrow...students who have never had American cookies. So I'm not doing the "low-fat" thing...I'll make them as delicious as I can! And I'll have my husband around to make sure I don't eat a bunch of cookie dough! I never really like the cookies...just the dough!

borntocry on 09/14/2005:
Hi Runner,

I know what you mean about making something that's just too good! I remember feeling that way about a rhubarb pie I made once, and some pear and blackberry muffins a while back. The funny thing is that when I come across a recipe that good I rarely seem to repeat it. I guess I feel like it's just too dangerous!

I'm sorry to hear about your health concerns, though. White blood cells have something to do with immunity, don't they? I think I will do some online research for you on the subject. We really must get to the bottom of it.

I hope your cookies turned out well. I'm going to be making cookies tonight too - for the first time ever! American-style cookies are not very well known here either, so I'm also going to try to make them as delicious as I can so that everyone likes them! I know you warned me that this could be a risky endeavour, so I'm planning to make them after dinner as I tend to be a little less hungry then. And I'm not even going to taste the dough!

Thanks for the comment you left me. Oh yes, my husband is still as crazy about pizza as ever. He ordered it twice during my weekend away!

sweetpea1977 on 09/14/2005:
Yay 113.5! And you did good at the get-together! Awesome work girlie! Good for you for "making" your husband eat the leftover strudel. Im sure he doesnt mind one bit! :o)

Girl, dont be worried about talking about your health on here. We are here to help you in anyway we can. That is what friends are for. By the way, I just sent you another email full of information. I hope you find it useful! :o)

What kind of "American" cookies are you gonna make for your students? I think it is sweet you are gonna spoil your "kids" with some homemade delights from home!


Runner - Monday Sep 12, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 114.0

One pound down, and I'm feeling better already.

I was still 115 when I woke up, but I'll take that any day over 117!

And I am trying not to weigh myself at night...but it usually gives me an indication of what I'll be when I wake up, and at least I can prepare myself to be disappointed!

I'm still exercising a lot and trying to eat as healthily as possible. The bloat hasn't left, but it is a bit less today. Even if it continues to improve, I'm still going to get tests done. Because I know something is not quite right, and I don't want to have another 3 weeks like the 3 weeks I've just had....where I've been bloated every day.

I'm hoping, hoping, hoping to see 113 or 113.5 tomorrow. If I do, I'll just be elated! But I have to make smart choices tonight. I'm getting together with a bunch of girlfriends and it's always hard to behave around food when everyone else is eating whatever they want!

borntocry on 09/13/2005:
Hi Runner,

I'm glad to see things seem to be improving somewhat. But I agree that you should try to get to the bottom of this problem even if it does improve for now.

Thanks for the comment you left me. Believe me, I have no problem remembering exactly what I eat - such is the extent to which obsess over my bad eating habits. Every cookie, every chocolate comes back to haunt me a million times over! And thanks for trying to reassure me about my overeating... I know many of us have similar problems, yet sometimes I can't help but wonder how many of us are truly capable of eating to the point of physical pain and sickness! I agree that 2100 or 2300 calories a day isn't that bad... but 3400? For someone my size, that's really something.

Well, good luck with your girlfriends! I know how hard it is for you to be around nonchalant eaters. Don't think about what they're eating - focus on yourself, and on the conversation, and on the great evening you're having. You can do this!

sweetpea1977 on 09/13/2005:
Im glad that the bloat has gone down...at least you are feeling more comfortable at the moment. I hope you and your doctor can figure out what causes it so you can concentrate on the better things in life. :o)

Have fun with your gal pals tonight. Just try to keep in mind that you are there to enjoy their company and conversation. The food is just ambience! :o)


geevee on 09/13/2005:
I thought of you, Runner, last night when I brushed my teeth. I glanced at the scale and was dying to know what I weighed but I stopped myself. NO NO NO! DON'T do it! and I didn't. I was thinking that if my weight were too high then it would set my mind awhir and I'd never get to sleep!

Glad you're down a pound. These little pounds and half pounds are so important.

Umpqua on 09/13/2005:
I really feel for you, because I know how well you do with eating and how dedicated you are to exercise. You should not be seeing these gains (I realize you're down again, but you shouldn't have seen the gain in the first place!) I do see ups and downs as well, but generally because I'll have a weekend of eating more than usual. Sometimes they are erratic, but not nearly as much as yours. Recording my weight once a week has been helpful to me too. I see major fluxes from day to day during the week (and I do still weigh every day, which keeps me on track in general) - but looking at the scale readings from Friday to Friday seems to make more sense in general. At least that's what works for me...I hope you find out what's been bloating you soon!

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