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Runner - Friday Jun 10, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 111.0

I saw 111 today! The elusive 111! What a wonderful feeling! How long it will last is anyone's guess. (I was 112.5 when I woke up, but 111 after my run).

I did fine today until I caved at lunch and had two slices of a Chinese dessert that was made mostly of buttery pastry, hardened egg yolks, and ground beef. Can you believe I ate it? I know it sounds disgusting, but after 2 years here, my taste buds have really changed! I actually found it rather tasty, and that scares me!!!

And I have a party tonight...a taco party! I hope I can resist overeating the goodies...I overheard that someone is bringing "Brownie Bites" from Costco, which is the next best thing to homemade brownies here! I'm going to limit myself to one or two of them. Did you all hear that? Now that I have it in writing, I have you to help keep me accountable, as I need to check in tomorrow with an update of my night.

I sure would like to keep my 111 for awhile...so maybe that will inspire me to say "NO" to second helpings of highly caloric food!

borntocry on 06/10/2005:
Hi Runner,

Congratulations on getting down to 111! Maybe the wonderful feeling will last until the weekend and help you stay in control at the buffet!

I have to admit, I find the idea of ground beef in a dessert pretty disgusting. I know what you mean about your tastes changing, though. I lived in Asia for ten years and by the end of it I had developed a taste for many things which I wouldn't touch when I first moved there.

Thanks for all the advice you left me in your comment. Of course I don't think you're being preachy - you're my role model and I appreciate any advice you can give me! I know I've had a couple of really low-calorie days lately, but I never aim for anything lower than 900 and anyway, it never lasts long. Some irresistable treat or insane baking spree eventually breaks the trend!

You see, I am not really that disciplined... in fact, it's precisely because I know I'm not disciplined that I try to squeeze a couple of low-calorie days in there whenever I can, to make up for the inevitable binges to come! But I know it's an unbalanced and unhealthy way of eating, and I would ideally like to become more moderate and consistent in my habits. And I like to think I'm getting there... very slowly!

sweetpea1977 on 06/10/2005:
Hey Runner,

Congrats on reaching 111! I know how badly you wanted to see that number, so know how thrilled you are to see it. Even if it does end up changing, at least you know you can get back down to it again. Im so happy for ya!

When I read about your Chinese dessert (with beef), it made me think about an episode of Friends. It was the Thanksgiving episode where Rachel made a English trifle dessert with custard, jam, meat and the only person who liked it was Joey. So funny. Anyway, if you say your beefy dessert is good, then it is good. I believe you! :o)

Oh no, not Brownie Bites! I have faith in you that you will have a max of two. Be sure to treat them as the last two bites in the world and savor every morsel. And think to yourself "111 is much better than all the brownies in the world!" Make me proud girl!

Have a great day & weekend! Jenny

geevee on 06/10/2005:
You have a BIG challenge ahead of you at the party trying to resist going overboard with the brownies. I know ALL about brownies and how I gobble them up. I just didn't seem to care once I tasted them and was eating as many as I could of those free samples.

Keep thinking about 111 and how good it makes you feel. Eat those two brownies you're allowing yourself very slowly and enjoy each morsel to the fullest. You want to see 111 tomorrow morning.

cynthia on 06/10/2005:
Whoooo hoooo!!!! Congratulations!!!! Enjoy your accomplishments.. you have worked hard for them. Have a great weekend!

sacfatcity on 06/10/2005:
Drink a lot of water before the party and have something fibrous and filling or something high protein. So then hopefully you won't even feel too hungry at the party! :) Good luck, you can do it. Just envision that 111 again. But more important envision good health and happiness!! Cheers, SacFatCity

Runner - Thursday Jun 09, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 112.0

Whew, what a relief to see 112.5 as my high weight this morning and then 112 as my low weight. I'm closer to 111 than I was yesterday! Now if I can just maintain it...that's the hard part!

I've had some stressful things happen with my job today, and I just want to eat, eat, eat. But I'm trying to be careful and I'm telling myself that food will only make me feel better temporarily. So I just brushed my teeth to avoid unnecessary snacking. I don't want to ruin my hard work!

This weekend poses a couple of challenges---a meal out tomorrow night and an all-you-can-eat amazing buffet on Sunday night. It's $15 a person (with a big discount), and I always feel like I need to eat my money's worth! Many of you know what I'm talking about. But I'm learning that it's just not worth it to overeat until I feel sick and then spend the next week or two trying to lose the weight I'll inevitably gain. So I'll just eat lightly during the day, exercise a bit extra, enjoy the foods I don't normally eat IN MODERATION, and try to focus on the other people at the meal, instead of the food.

That's one of my worst faults...when there's food in front of me, I am usually completely focused on the food. I'd rather eat and THEN talk, but I need to learn how to talk and eat at the same time, because otherwise I'm usually eating twice as much as everyone else! I've never understood how people can allow their food to grow cold on their plates while they carry on a conversation...I prefer to eat when the food is hot! So maybe I should get a variety of food on my plate---both hot and cold food---so I can eat the hot food first and then pick at the cold food while I talk to other people. This should be easy for me, but it's not. I guess it's old habits from my childhood that are hard to break! I've always eaten fast and preferred hot food. In fact, I tend to drive people nuts when I am constantly nuking my food in the microwave so it is piping hot.

borntocry on 06/09/2005:
Hi Runner,

I can't believe how similar we are! I'm exactly the same way about hot food! When I used to have lunch with my husband at the cafeteria where he worked I always had to heat everything up in the microwave. And I would still complain that it wasn't hot enough! I think it's because I feel that if I'm going to eat something, I want it to be as good as possible. Otherwise I tend to feel let down.

And I am also a really focused eater. In fact, this has led to countless arguments with my husband. I can't stand it when I get dinner ready (usually going to great lengths to make sure that everything is ready at the same time) and hand him a plate of hot food only to have him put it down and go to the bathroom first, and then get something to drink, and then flip television channels for a while to find something good to watch... while his food just sits there getting cold! Now I always make sure to warn him five minutes before dinner is ready so that he can take care of all this stuff in advance.

And at the same time, he gets mad at me when he puts on some television show or movie which he wants me to watch and I miss all the key scenes because I'm looking down at my plate while I eat!

And I was actually disappointed when I found out that my husband and I will be having a lot of our meals in America with my brother-in-law and his kids - that means I won't be able to devote myself single-mindedly to the food! But I remember you recently wrote about having dinner with an old friend of yours and focusing more on the conversation than on the food. And now I try to make myself do the same. It's hard, though - I do hate letting my food get cold!

I think it probably is a good idea to get both hot and cold food at the buffet so that you can take your time over the cold food and thus stretch out your meal a little. I also eat really fast and because of that I always ends up eating more than everyone else so as not to be finished before them.

And as for that whole "the customer is always right" mentality, well, here in France I often feel like it's the other way around! The customer is always wrong! My husband once complained about a flat soda at Pizza Hut - the waiter called the manager on us and the manager threatened to kick us out of the restaurant!

Anyway, good luck at the buffet! Try to remind yourself that if you go completely overboard you'll only end up ruining the experience for yourself!

sweetpea1977 on 06/09/2005:
Hey Runner,

Good for you for not running to food in your time of stress! I constantly get stressed out (or annoyed!) at work so I know how tempting it can be!

I tend to gulp water down when I feel a temptation come on. I have already done this today, due to a coworker snacking on a huge bag of heavily buttered popcorn. It smelled so good, but I resisted! Yay!

I completely understand the whole hot meal thing. I hate having a hot meal go cold. I try my best to make all the dinner items in such a way so they all get done at the same time. I do like your idea of mixing hot items and cold items on your plate. Your eating experience will last longer and you will fill up quicker. :o)

Enjoy your day!


geevee on 06/09/2005:
It's really true that eating more slowly does allow your appetite to catch up so that you don't overeat and then have an aching stomach. I always look forward to having guests for dinner because I usually can't finish which is very unusual. Well, part of the reason is that I seldom have all my dinner in one serving. My mini-meal plan has me accustomed to small portions now.

I hope there are good choices at the buffet. Enjoy.

nam78_two on 06/09/2005:
A friend of mine, who lost weight and maintained very successfully had this "trick" for doing ok with food at restaurants. She would stuff herself and I mean STUFF herself with fibrous and bulky fruits and veggies about 45min.s to half an hour before the meal and would feel stuffed at the restaurant and not be able to over-indulge. Good luck with maintaining :)

Runner - Wednesday Jun 08, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.0

Still at 113 today. It's my "bloated" time of the month, so I'd like to think that the 115 I saw for a fleeting second today isn't due to the few pieces of cake I ate a couple of days ago.

Yesterday was a pretty good day, but I still find myself wanting to eat more than I need.

Thanks for the encouraging comments. I appreciate you guys so much!!!

I have about one month before I leave for the U.S. I'd like to get down to 111 by then. (And be maintaining 111...not just hitting that number after a good workout when I lose 2 lbs. of water)

I have to be very disciplined to get down to 111...it's NOT easy, and I've been trying to get there for months. Of course, I haven't made it any easier when I have meals out or am traveling, but that's life. There are some things I can't change, and I just do the best I can when I'm "on-the-road." Next week I'll be gone again, so I need to do whatever I can to avoid the pitfalls associated with all-you-can-eat buffets and late-night snacks and all those temptations that seem to face me when I travel.

But you know what? If I'm just honest with myself, I'll admit that the biggest temptations are in my own kitchen...when I have to bake something or have candy in my cupboards. I just have to get rid of those trigger foods and avoid them completely. There's no other way, I'm afraid. Even after several years, I still can't bake brownies and leave them around. I just don't have the strength to eat one of them and save the rest for another day.

borntocry on 06/08/2005:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for your comment. It's funny you should mention Cadbury's High Lights because I saw that at the store too. But the hot chocolate pictured on the packaging looked a little too milky so I went with this other one instead. It's called Options Belgian Chocolate and it's really chocolatey! And it also has only 40 calories a serving. I'll try High Lights next if you say it's good. I'd actually read about both of them in an online review:


Unfortunately neither is available here in France so I will just have to stock up whenever I go to London!

Oh and in answer to your question, yes, of course I was starving after just 845 calories. But I guess that's one advantage of feeling hungry all the time - I'm used to it, haha! Seriously, though, I'm just trying to make up for last weekend's excesses. I'm leaving for America next week and dreaming of huge pancake breakfasts at Bob Evans! Yum!

Jennifer68 on 06/08/2005:
Your body was craving-- probably because of the monthly thing. Today is a new day, so don't beat yourself up so. At least now you know you have a full month ahead without those cravings. Jen

sweetpea1977 on 06/08/2005:
Hey Runner,

Im glad that I am able to lift your spirits. You do the same for me! I deeply appreciate it!

Man, I havent been to a SuperWalmart in ages. Simply because I dont know where any are here in Atlanta. SuperWalmart was THE place to be seen in my hometown when I lived there. My hometown is a small country town with no mall and movie theater, but hey we got an Applebees and Hooters now. LOL!

Wow, 3 weeks in the States with family. I know what you mean about feeding you non-stop. My dad does the same thing whenever I come home. I can only eat so much steak and potatoes!! I guess they do it because they love ya! While you are heer, I hope you get to enjoy some of YOUR favorite American foods that are so hard to find in Asia.

Its good that you know what your trigger foods are. It makes you more aware of your actions whenever you are around them. My trigger foods are served in restaurants. I know what everything tastes like and it takes every thing in my being to order something sensible. Its sad, because I feel like I am missing out on a good restaurant experience. That sadness goes away though once my sensible dinner shows up because that is when I realize I did a good thing for myself. Plus, it tastes pretty darn good!

So, you are wanting to get down to and maitain 111 before you leave on your vacation. If I were in your situation, I would get rid of all of the trigger foods in the house now. If you need to bake a cake for a special occasion, just buy what you need and bake the cake on a full stomach. If you get cravings, drink some water or snack on a low calorie fruit.

Anyway, thats my advice for the day. :o) I hope you have a great day!


Umpqua on 06/08/2005:
I'm sure you'll have a great time in the States. What part of the country do you travel to? It's so much easier to find healthy foods in certain areas, and as I mentioned to BTC, in some areas it's just impossible to avoid driving everywhere instead of walking. But with some simple adjustments, you can make it work as I'm sure you know! Good idea about gettting rid of the trigger foods. I just froze the remainder of the blueberry coffecake I baked because I know if I left it in the fridge it would be gone before the weekend! For whatever reason, when I freeze things I tend to forget about them, even though I go in there almost every night to get my flying saucers (ice cream sandwiches, which i describe in today's entry) :)

cynthia on 06/08/2005:
Runner girl, you are still my Olympic Champion. If anybody can accomplish anything I really believe you can!!! You stay focused and conscious and that's more than I can manage for more than 5 minutes at a time!!!!

Where will you be going in the US????

Have a great journey today!!!


geevee on 06/08/2005:
I learned the same lesson about NOT keeping any trigger foods in my house. I treat myself like an alcoholic does with drinking. I still have a big unopened bag of M&M's lurking that so far I've successfully ignored since the last disaster with them. Those enticing two for one specials cause havoc with eating!

Like you always do when you travel and as you did last weekend at the retreat, you'll be very well-prepared for any and all contingencies for your trip next week.

I've been working on getting back to 125 for SIX LONG months! I couldn't even break 120, so yes, I sure know how hard seeing 111 on a daily basis must be! Ah, I'm looking forward to beeing a "teen" again!

cac30202 on 06/08/2005:
I know how hard it is to diet when there is junk in the house. I live with my parents (I just graduated college, and am sooo ready to get out of there, at 24 years old, its time, and I miss having my own place like I used to before I went back to school) anyway, I have no control over what is in the house, and thats rough. I feel your pain, and I support you all the way!

Runner - Monday Jun 06, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.0

Oh, dear dieters, I had a terrible night last night. I slipped into the "former" me...I had some bingeing moments that I'm NOT proud of. And the extra carbs and calories showed up full-force on the scale this morning. I was a whopping 114.5 before my run and managed to sneak down to 113 after it. (yesterday, I was 111 after my run just to give you a comparison).

I did fine all day until I made the cake. And I would have been fine if I hadn't had the dumb idea to chop up some chocolate candies to add to the cake mix...of course, that led to a few samples of the candies, which were 75 cal. each! (they were chocolates I had bought in February from America). After about 3 of those, I had some fun licking the extra batter from the bowl instead of scraping it all into the cake pan.

But it gets worse. I served the cake to my friends, and gave away about 9 pieces. Unfortunately, there were at least 9 pieces left over. I had one piece with everyone else, but the trouble started as I was putting away the leftovers. One bite turned into two...and that turned into three, and you know what happens next. I consumed probably 2 more pieces. After I hurridly put two more pieces in a tupperware (for my hubby's lunch the next day), I figured I was done. I was full and already feeling a bit ill. (To make matters worse, I was eating this cake in the privacy of my kitchen while my friends were chatting in the living room! I felt like a sneak!)

And 1/2 hour later, when my hubby took out the trash, I opened that stupid tupperware in the fridge and ate half of the cake that was in there. When my hubby came back, I was ashamed to show him the mutilated small piece of cake that remained. I asked him to eat it on the spot, and I threw the rest of it out.

I knew that my weight would be up, even though I know that I didn't take in an excess of 3,500 calories. BUT, I did overindulge, and it doesn't matter how much I exercised or how long I walked. Those mini-binges wreck havoc on my weight, and I just can't get away with things like that anymore!

I am estimating that I took in an extra 800 calories, minimum. I probably had 1000 calories the rest of the day, so 1800 shouldn't be bad, right? Especially when I exercise so much? But it doesn't matter...it will still affect my weight, and I am more disappointed in the fact that I resorted to old habits that I detest and hate. I don't want to be a "closet" eater. I whined about everyone snacking so much this past weekend and I stayed so disciplined...and then I lost it last night. I feel like a hypocrite! At least those people were eating their snacks in public...in front of others! I was too embarrassed to do that, and I chose to stuff cake in my mouth when no one was looking.

That's pathetic behavior, and I am stronger and smarter than that. I guess I am just reminded that although I've come a long way, I still make mistakes. But I have to pick myself up and keep going! Because I've worked too hard to give up now! I refuse to allow one night of overindulgence to wreck havoc on the rest of my week!

cher on 06/06/2005:
Hi there,

You got knocked down by the sweet tooth but jumped right back up..good for you for having such determination and willpower to not let one little mishap get in your way...kudo's to you my friend..thank you for your comment as well. =0)

borntocry on 06/07/2005:
Poor Runner! I know how you must feel. I am also afraid of becoming a closet eater and at times I find myself perilously close. And the worst thing about it is that there are quite a few people I know who think that I don't eat enough, and the more I eat in secret the less I eat in front of them, which further perpetuates their belief that I don't eat enough and that I need to be pushed to eat more!

This is why I don't resent other people being able to eat whatever they want without gaining weight. I always end up eating my fair share as well - just all at once and in secret! And sometimes I feel like it makes all my efforts seem futile, but I guess this is just who I am. I have a tendency to go overboard sometimes, and that's why I have to be extra careful at other times. If I could be the type of person who has a consistently moderate diet, that would be great, but I'm not that type of person!

Still, look at it this way: you didn't go over 1800 calories for the day and in the end that's what really counts. It doesn't matter where those calories come from. And every lapse like this just makes us stronger - I firmly believe that!

sweetpea1977 on 06/07/2005:
Hey Girl,

Thanks for the cute comment you left me yesterday. Its hard to imagine life without Target (and veggie burgers!). I always go there for one item and come out with a whole cart full of stuff. I dont do this in any other store!! How does this happen? I guess I just dont have any restraint when it comes to shopping in Target. Where in America are you headed? Your hometown? How long will you be here? Will you have access to the internet (I HOPE SO! I always love reading your entries!) Will there be a Target near by? Just curious! :o)

As for your cake mishap, thats all it was - a mistake. It helps that you are a very disciplined health-conscious person because you know what you did was wrong when most other people consider this as acceptable or "normal" behavior. You have stated that all you can do is move on and not let it bother you and the rest of your week, which tells me you are a very determined and focused woman. These are two characteristics that are needed in order to succeed, and you have both! :o)

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on that horse and wave that cake goodbye! :o)

Have a good day! Make today a good day!


PS. I just re-read about your last trip to America in February. I was just wondering what you hope to do/accomplish on this trip? I guess what Im asking is what would you do differently (and the same) this time (by the way, I love Cold Stone Creamery!!)? I agree with you on calling America the "Land of Abundance". There are endless food choices (most of of them unhealthy!!), which is why so many Americans are overweight/obese and the rest of the world is thinner.

nam78_two on 06/07/2005:
Oh god runner, I totally know how you feel... It just happens sometimes you know..what can you do... The thing is move past it the next day...I still have this mentality of eating everything I see if I exceed 1300 calories a day..not a good thing....

But you are very slender already -It can't screw your weight up too much hopefully... Good luck :)) and best wishes...

Tomorrow will be a bettr day ..

Runner - Monday Jun 06, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 112.0

I saw two numbers on the scale. When I woke up, I was 113.5. After my run, I was 111! Talk about losing a lot of water! So I'm keeping my weight at 112, since that might be more realistic.

I ran in the mountains yesterday and then hiked for 3 hours, so I was hoping that I wouldn't see a weight gain after my weekend of eating a lot of greasy Chinese food. Even though I avoided the deep fried stuff, everything else was pan-fried and marinated in way too much oil. I just don't understand the obsession with oil here. Why do good vegetables have to be so greasy? It ruins them, as far as I'm concerned. But the Chinese love their oil...they think it helps with digestion or something weird like that.

I have to bake a cake tonight for a birthday party. I hope I can get rid of most of it at the party, as leftovers are dangerous. (even in my freezer...a quick de-thaw in the microwave is far too easy for me)

borntocry on 06/06/2005:
Hi Runner,

I'm glad to see that your weekend went well. I'm a bit jealous because unlike you I didn't show any restraint whatsoever and didn't even go running over the weekend, even though I packed my running clothes and shoes. I just didn't get a moment to myself. I was so disappointed. Now I'm dreading my next weigh-in, which will be this weekend. It might also be the last time I get to weigh myself before I leave for America, and I really, really don't want any horrible surprises ruining my trip!

In answer to the question in your last comment, I don't think my husband thinks I'm too thin. He thinks he's just being kind and thoughtful when he puts food in front of me. Maybe it's my fault, because I've tried to hide the extent of my dieting from him (knowing what a low opinion he has of "dieters"). So he doesn't see this as putting temptation in my path. Anyway, I should be stronger than that. I can't just eat everything that's put in front of me! I know you feel the same way - we have high standards for ourselves. But I know we can live up to them!

Cynthia on 06/06/2005:
You WILL represent us in the next Olympics!!! Way to go team!!!!

Have a great days journey Runner! I'm in your breeze girl, I'm in your breeze!!

sweetpea1977 on 06/06/2005:
Hey girl,

I have the occasional craving for Chinese food...shrimp fried rice, sesame chicken, Mongolian beef, wonton soup, and crab ragoon but I couldnt imagine eating greasy pan fried food every day though. Once a month is enough for me to satisfy my cravings for that junk.

I love fresh veggies either raw or slightly steamed. It is always a disappointment when they have been overcooked and they are so limp and mushy!! Green Giant has some wonderful fresh frozen veggies that I always keep on hand, just in case I need a healthy side on short notice. You can either boil them in the sealed bag the come in or even steam them in the microwave for an instant side. Perfection every time! :o)

Anyway, good job on the exercise and eating while at the retreat. I admire your dedication to the healthy lifestyle!

Good luck with the cake!


Umpqua on 06/06/2005:
Bringing your own food and sticking to your exercise routine over the weekend paid off! Good for you. It must be very frustrating to see people eat with such abandon, especially since most of them are thin where you are. Over here, typically if you see people stuffing their faces, they have the bodies to match. I don't see very many petite, athletic people gorging on fast food or enormous ice cream sundaes very often. Bottom line is - we know what we need to do to maintain our weights, so it shouldn't matter what others think. Being healthy is way too important!

geevee on 06/06/2005:
You must feel darned good after surviving the "eating" week-end.

There's an article in the NYT today, June 6th on page D9 "Miles to Go Before They Sleep: Women who excel at ultramarathons".It mentions one gal with a record of running non-stop - 301.08 miles in 79 hrs. 57min. There's a photo of an 82 yr. old women who still runs ultramarathons and does she look GOOD! It mentionss a Web sit for long distance running - WomenRunners.com and talks about the female athletic triad: eating disorders; amenorrhea and bone density loss.

Runner - Saturday Jun 04, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 112.0

They have a computer where we're staying on our retreat, so I had to get online and vent a bit. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm complaining, but I just have to write down my thoughts in a place where I know at least some people will understand me!

I got up at 5am this morning to get in a run before we left bright and early. When I arrived at the place, there were these huge fattening muffins that everyone was gobbling up, and which I resisted, as most of them more highly caloric than a Big Mac. Of course, that didn't stop everyone else from eating them...and I had to eat my cereal and hard-boiled eggs in secret because I didn't want everyone watching me.

Of course, by 9am, everyone was hungry again and already eating the snacks that had been brought along---most of which I won't even touch.

Lunchtime was greasy Chinese food that I had a few bites of and ended up eating my own food instead. (which I dutifully packed, knowing how I always need them)

Then it's 3:00pm. The snacks are rapidly disappearing, as these girls (and guys) are constantly munching. I can barely stand to watch it. It's not like I'm hungry...it's not that at all.

It's that I have trained myself to avoid eating foods like that (most of the time!), especially in public. I just don't do it. And when I see such a lack of discipline, it drives me wild!

Of course, I have my moments when I have snack attacks...but they're still somewhat controlled, and I definitely don't just eat snacks all day long and drink hundreds of calories of soda.

So it's going to be a long weekend. I've only been here a few hours, and I'm already peeved at the insane amount of food that people eat. How do they do it? How do they stay at a normal weight? THere is NO WAY I could eat like that on a regular basis and NOT gain weight. I mean, two days of "abnormal" eating means a gain of at least 1 pound for me!

So I'm having a little pity party for myself, as I know that I will deprive myself of many of the treats that everyone else will enjoy. But I just need to keep reminding myself that I've worked too hard to get to this weight just to blow it on sugar-coated almonds and soda. I know that one handful of almonds won't kill me...but the constant snacking WILL. And if I allow myself to just give in anytime the snacks are out, then I will pay the consequences sooner or later.

Many of you know how I feel. You battle this daily, too. The urge to eat like everyone else eats...the urge to eat whenever the food is there and readily available. But I should also remind myself that most of that food is completely unhealthy and won't do my body any good anyway. So on that note, I think I'll go eat my healthy apple!

sweetpea1977 on 06/04/2005:
OMG! I know EXACTLY how you feel! Every time Im in a public place, whether it be the office, a festival, or a restaurant, I feel this way. How can people eat so horribly bad, knowing what huge portions of greasy high calorie foods do to their liver and heart. It is very gross! I have a coworker who eats McD's EVERY day for lunch, because she is too lazy to bring something nutritious to work. She always upgrades the meals too. The worse part is that she knows its bad for her because she bitches and moans about being overweight but doesnt do a damn thing about it! GRR!

Today, while Im at the festival, I will see people (fat and thin) gorging themselves with funnel cakes, greasy burgers, huge plate of greasy over-salted fries, and monster sized desserts. I will feel disgusted, knowing the damage they are doing to their bodies but I will be feeling extra proud of myself because I know that I deserve better!

The only thing that keeps "normal" people from gaining weight after eating all that crap is a fast metabolism. But one day, it is going to slow down and they are going to regret not changing their eating habits sooner. So, enjoy YOUR foods and screw the rest!! :o)


jolt on 06/04/2005:
Its always hard to watch what other people do. Just remember you are worth so much more than some junk food. I have a friend that can quite litterally eat anything and never gain a pound. **kicks friend in rear** me on the other hand can look at a donut and gain 5lbs *sigh*

YOu can do it!



geevee on 06/04/2005:
Thank God you came prepared with your own food! You knew something like this would happen but probably not to the extent it has. The month my son was home from Japan in December was like the week-end you're experiencing; the constant cooking, baking, eating. Always food and nothing that is a normal part of my daily eating except for the tostones and that presented a bigger problem. Tostones is one of my trigger foods. I love them and have to hold myself back.Can you imagine how this week has been for me? I still have 6 plantains staring at me every time I go in the kitchen!

I used to confront the same scene in my last school. Piles of food it seemed everywhere. There was always a celebration for something, and the teachers became all day snackers with bodies to match - BIG! There must have been a half dozen between 250 and 300lbs with the "smaller" ones packing on the weight too. The new, young, small teachers didn't stay that way very long.

It personally bothers me to watch people eating all the time. I prefer not seeing or smelling it continuously. Recently I've started enjoying that tinge of hunger so I can look forward to my rewarding meal.

I sent you two different e-mails discussing wheat germ. I think it was in the second that I gave the amount of wheat germ that can be substituted for regular flour when baking. Maybe it was up to one cup of flour. I've used it when baking wheat bread, muffins and meatloaf. The package did say for cake too so why not try it? All that extra nutrition. When my flax meal runs out I'm going to sprinkle wheat germ on my cereal.

Just keep thinking "thin" and the weekend will be over soon and you will feel so good for having not joined the food fest.

Runner - Friday Jun 03, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 112.5

Back to 112.5 and it's STILL raining. Ugh! I squeezed my run in this morning when it wasn't pouring as hard, but now it is just downright messy oustide!

I did okay last night until I treated myself to two small sugar cookies and some Heath toffee bits (the kind you use in baking cookies). I had brought the bag back from the States a few months ago and hadn't opened it yet...until last night, when I just felt the urge to sample a few. One tablespoon is 80 calories...can you believe it? I'm sure I had a good 200 calories total. So between the cookies and the toffee bits, I had about 500 extra calories that I hadn't planned on. I hate it when that happens! I shoved the bag back into the freezer and I hope I can stay away from it tonight!

Today has been better so far. Of course, I usually make smart choices all day long and then lose it at night. At least I know my areas of weakness! I've been avoiding baking anything the last couple of days because I got a little carried away earlier this week.

I leave for my retreat tomorrow morning. I hope it doesn't rain all weekend! I was looking forward to getting in some good hikes since we're going to the mountains.

borntocry on 06/03/2005:
Hi Runner,

Thanks a lot for your tip on that "BetternPeanutButter" stuff. Looks like it's available at Trader's Joe and there appears to be one in Cincinnati so hopefully I should be able to get some! Believe it or not, for someone so into food I don't really have very discerning taste-buds so it might not matter so much to me that it isn't as good as the real thing. I'm definitely going to check it out!

Jennifer68 on 06/03/2005:
Put those toffee bits and cookies away!! Lol, they are EVIL! You hear? Today is a new day, the urge for sweets has been satisfied, and now you can move on. Right?? Right! WTG, Jen

sweetpea1977 on 06/03/2005:
Hey Runner,

I understand your night temptations. I have them as well once in a while! It doesnt make you a bad person, it makes you normal. All I can say is move forward today and try your best to make healthy food choices.

Man, you are going to the mountains? I LOVE hiking in the mountains. I didnt hike very fast the last time I went to my cabin retreat. I was probably 40 pounds heavier and waaaay out of shape. Be interesting to see what I can do now. Maybe I will have to plan a summer trip to the mountains soon. Anyway, I hope you get to hike! Sounds like sooo much fun!


cynthia on 06/03/2005:
Hang on sista, hang on!!! Boy, don't ya hate it when you start on one of those "just a taste" things and it turns into 500 calories!!!

That's OK, you're a smart cookie ... enjoy your retreat and I hope THAT weather is GREAT for ya!!!

Have I said lately how proud I am of you? I am.

xoxo cu

geevee on 06/03/2005:
Your cookies and toffe last night was like my sampling at Wild Oats. It's amazing how those calories add upso quickly when You eat something that really good! 500 is like a drop in the bucket.

How you can run in the rain is beyond me!

Umpqua on 06/03/2005:
I hope you have a wonderful retreat! I'm sure all the hiking will offset anything "bad" you might happen to eat ;) You are so right about exercise, it makes such a difference on the scale, even when I take in more calories.

biscottibody59 on 06/03/2005:
Thanks for the note! Do you hear from Becca27 at all?

I made some sugar cookies from a recipe on epicurious.com--and I only baked up half the batch. Well, I didn't fare any better than any other cookies I ever made. Ate several right then and then the next day they had "aged" just perfectly and ate the rest. The recipe was different than others I've used because it used oil instead of shortening.

Be careful running in the rain girlie and keep up the good work!

Runner - Thursday Jun 02, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 111.5

I saw three numbers on the scale today---113.5, 112, and 111.5. I guess it all just depends on how much water is in my stomach or how I stand on the scale or whether I'm wearing anything! Anyway, I've learned by now not to freak out if the scale is "off" a bit...because it never says the same thing two times in a row! :)

Anyway, I'll think positively and keep the 111.5 as my weight at the moment.

Yesterday was a good day, and I'm pleased that I didn't go nuts with the peanut butter bars...I gave them all away before I could eat more than one!

It's the rainy season here, so I'm going to have to dig down deep to keep my motivation to run through typhoon-like weather. Ugh! I get tired of the wet clothes and shoes...

I'm finally back home for awhile, even though I'll be gone for 48 hours this weekend on a "retreat." That means lots of snacks, I'm sure! Most of the people going are single, foreigners, and young, and that means tons of junk food! I'll just have to pack some of my own healthy snacks.

borntocry on 06/02/2005:
Hi Runner,

I am going to face similar temptations this weekend as I'm going to London and will be mostly around my brother and husband, both of whom adore junk food and late-night snacking! And guess who loves to keep them company!! Let's hope you and I can both show some restraint over the weekend!

Jennifer68 on 06/02/2005:
Wow... your commitment is amazing!!! Jen

cynthia on 06/02/2005:
Good morning Runner. You're doing a wonderful job of staying on track. You are definitely a big inspiration. Keep up the good work. Cynthia

Umpqua on 06/02/2005:
I only weigh first thing in the morning (sans clothes), but I susepct if I weighed throughout the day I'd get similar fluctuations. You know you're eating well and exercising - that's what is most important!

I'm happy to share my muffin recipe. It's not for everyone (I had a friend comment that her berry muffin was "horrible" - but she likes really sweet, sugary foods). But if you're used to whole grains and fruit you'll probably like them. I estimate 122 calories per muffin, 26 g carbs, and 0 fat - not too bad!

Oat Bran Muffins (add whatever fruit you'd like) 1 1/4 c. whole wheat flour 1 c. oat bran 1/2 c. sugar 1 tbsp baking powder (seems like a lot, but key) 1/2 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp salt 3/4 c. fat-free milk 1/4 c. unsweetened apple sauce 1 tsp vanilla 2 bananas or equivalent in other fruits - I like very fruity muffins.

Preheat a 400F oven. Combine all the dry ingredients in large bowl. Whisk in milk, apple sauce and vanilla. Fold in fruit. Bake for about 15 minutes or until golden. Makes 12 muffins (I really fill up the tins - they don't rise that much).

I hope you enjoy!

sweetpea1977 on 06/02/2005:
Yuck, running in the rain! I can't do that, since I have tendency to slip and fall when I get near water covered surfaces! Heck, I nearly kill myself each day tripping on normal surfaces! :o)Anyway, I admire your determination to stay fit, no matter what Mother Nature brings! Go Runner!

Oh boy, a retreat full of treats. Good for you on packing your own!


Bandmom on 06/03/2005:
Hi Runner! I having a gastric bypass! On monday! The dr was worryed about my blood pressure of 197/175. So he wanted this weight off yesterday! Thank on my hearts! Rosalind

Runner - Tuesday May 31, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 111.5

Got down to 111.5 today, but that was AFTER my run! If I weigh myself with all my clothes on after two bowls of cereal (like BTC), I weigh at least 115! :) But I prefer to weigh myself when I'm completely naked, my stomach is empty, and I have lost about 2 pounds of sweat! Ha ha

Anyway, I'm sure I won't see that low number tomorrow, as I had a day similar to Geevee's. Let's just say I made up for the last few days as I did some baking and a bit too much "taste-testing." I have been so disciplined lately, and I even told my husband tonight that I've been pleased with the way I've handled all the extra temptations lately. Ah, pride goes before a fall in my case...because not one hour later, I was gorging on peanut butter bars...

Tomorrow is a new day, and I plan to make WISE choices.

geevee on 05/31/2005:
I'm with you completely on the weigh in thing. I told BTC there was not way I'd ever weigh in public with all my clothes on PLUS a couple bowls of cereal packed away! Naked and after swimming is the only way.

sweetpea1977 on 05/31/2005:
I too am very particular with my weigh in. Mine involves: no clothes, empty stomach (no food or drink!), empty bladder, and at the same time of day.

Anyway, you are right, tomorrow is a new day (I said this last night after my last unhealthy meal with my sis)! I've started over today and Im looking forward to getting back on track! :o)

Have a great day!


jolt on 05/31/2005:
You can do it! Hang in there!



borntocry on 06/01/2005:
Hi Runner,

Well, I can't weigh myself without my clothes on until I buy a scale (which might actually happen when I move into my new apartment next month!) but I have started weighing after running so I do lose those 2 pounds of sweat beforehand!

It's so true what they say about pride coming before a fall! I try to remind myself of that whenever I'm in too self-congratulatory a mood. As geevee always says, one can't afford to let one's guard down.

And oh, that peanut butter! I have finally decided to open the jar which I bought weeks ago... I've bought some bread and my plan is to have it only in sandwich form and <i>not</i> straight from the jar. Only now I'm worried that I could end up finishing the entire loaf of bread as well as the entire jar of peanut butter in far too short a period! This will be a real test of my self-control. Let's see if I pass it!

So when are you leaving for America? I seem to remember you were going before me, so it should be soon now. I only have two weeks left! Looks like you've got your weight down nice and low so you will have room to gain a little while you're there. Way to go!

Runner - Sunday May 29, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 112.5

Three days in a row at the same weight! That's pretty amazing, as I'm usually the "fluctuation queen."

I have a very busy week ahead of me, so I just need to stay as disciplined as possible...and to try to avoid pigging out when the opportunities arise! (which happens more frequently than I'd like!)

Thankfully, my hives are almost gone. I managed to stay away from the hospital today!

borntocry on 05/29/2005:
Hi Runner,

Thank you for cheering for me! What a great friend I have in you - can't thank you enough for all you've done for me.

Yes, my husband has definitely noticed the changes in me and constantly comments on how good I look! The other day he actually said that my calves are looking slim too, which is surpising because I've always had thick calves, even as a child.

I haven't bought any new clothes yet - I'm saving that for my trip to America! (And hoping it will help curb the gluttony somewhat!) But I did try on a pair of pants yesterday which I hadn't worn since last summer, and they practically fell off me! Hard to believe a mere 12 lb can make such a difference. I felt like one of those people in those weight-loss ads posing in the clothes they used to wear when they were 100 lb heavier!

Good luck with your week ahead! It's funny how you and I have such similar attitudes towards weight loss - staying incredibly disciplined for a while and then pigging out as soon as the opportunity arises! But I do believe that we are getting better and better at this all the time!

geevee on 05/29/2005:
I've only cooked with coconut milk a couple of times; both successful. I haven't used it much because of the calories though I have several cans of it in my pantry. I think once I combined it with curry powder to make a sauce that I braised chicken in. It was good. Anyway, I'll keep my eye open for you and let you know if I find anything interesting.

Jennifer68 on 05/29/2005:
Oooh, icky hives. Glad to hear they're almost gone. I HATE when I get 'em. I bet it was the sushi!! Jen

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