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Runner - Sunday May 15, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.5

Hi, all! I just realizd that when I didn't get on this site for 3 days, a lot happened while I was gone! :) Anyway, I want to thank all of you who have supported my weight maintenance efforts these past 2 years...and yes, I've been here over 2 years! (I've obviously needed the support, huh?)

Anyway, I know that it's hard for some people to understand why a "thin" person would have diet issues, but remember, I used to be 152 pounds. And that was WAY too heavy for my tiny frame. I'm just thankful that I've been able to lose the weight and keep it off! I feel healthy, strong, and I like the way I look now!

Speaking of feeling strong, I ran in a race yesterday...and took 1st place! I actually won $150! Wow! I've never won that much money before. It was a 14km race and it was pouring rain...we're talking typhoon weather! Half of the race was uphill, but all my hill training paid off as I sped ahead of the other women on the hill. Now, I must admit, the competition was pretty weak, but I'm not letting that deter me from feeling good about winning! This is the first race I've actually won, even though I usually am in the top 10 of women. Anyway, I celebrated that night with a big sushi dinner and about 5 meringue cookies. (I LOVE meringue cookies...they're just sugar and egg whites, so I know they're not healthy, but at least they're only 25 calories each!)

Well, I hope to weigh myself tomorrow, although I never trust any scales except the one I have at home. So I still have three more days until I step on that one! And I have 2 more meals out...at least. Yikes! I need to keep staying disciplined. I sure feel better about myself when I do!

Bandmom on 05/16/2005:
I'm danceing! Great job on frist place! hugs and smiles!


Jennifer68 on 05/16/2005:
Wow!! Congratulations on winning the race and the $$$prize!! You have much to be proud of and you are an inspiration!!! Hugs, Jen

geevee on 05/16/2005:
WOW! You're something, running in the rain yet! And up hill! You must be in super fantastic shape. My heartiest congratulations! You are most deserved.

cynthia on 05/16/2005:
Dag! You go girl!!!!! Exhilerating!!! Talk about MAJOR achievements!!! Sweetie you are our DD Olympian!!!!! Thanks for representing, SWELL!!! xoxo cynthia

Umpqua on 05/16/2005:
Congratulations! What an accomplishment :) You definitely deserve those cookies, and you should feel proud for being in such top shape. When I look at what I've achieved over the past 3+ years of dieting I see an incredible difference in my appearance and the way I feel. Even a few extra pounds on a smaller frame goes a long way - I've dropped 4 sizes overall and I don't intend to ever go back to the way I was!

sweetpea1977 on 05/16/2005:
Hey Runner,

Wow, Congratulations on first place. That is so AWESOME!! Back in the day, I ran quite a few races, but never placed. My knees gave out over time, so I cant run for speed anymore. Anyway, what a huge accomplishment. I am so proud of you.

Those cookies sound yummy...and so low cal, how is that possible?! :o)

Miss ya!


borntocry on 05/17/2005:
Congratulations, Runner! You continue to be a shining beacon of inspiration to me, as always! 14 km is like, ten miles, isn't it? Is that a half-marathon?? I wonder if I could ever run that kind of distance! Maybe one day!

Runner - Friday May 13, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.5

HI, friends! I'm away on business right now, so I only have a few minutes to check in with some of you. I wanted to let you know that I'm doing okay, even though I'm already tired of eating out! I'm craving a home-cooked meal. At least the food hasn't been good enough to over-do it. I think I've managed to eat small enough portions and still be satisfied. It's not easy, though...

Well, I'd rather read YOUR entries, so I'll close for now!

tabbylove74 on 05/13/2005:
HI..glad you're OK! Away on business! You sound like such an international jetsetter. What line of work are you in and what is your location? lol.

Cynthia on 05/13/2005:
Hey Chickie Poo ... thanks for dropping by! Work hard and have fun if you can.

Rise and Shine girl, rise and shine!

sweetpea1977 on 05/13/2005:
Hey Girl,

I'm glad that you checked in on us. Ive missed ya! I expect a detailed summary once you get back home. :o) Have a safe trip back!

C-ya soon!


jolt on 05/15/2005:
Please remember that I always believe in you. Never stop believing you are important, special or beautiful. I wish you only happiness on your journey.

Hugs Pat

Runner - Tuesday May 10, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.5

Even though I'm up ANOTHER half pound (two pounds since Monday!), I was encouraged by your comments on my entry yesterday, so I'm not despairing much. It's also good for my weight to be on the "high" side when I leave for a trip so that I'm extra careful. If I would have weighed in at 111.5 this morning, I would be far more tempted to eat with abandon while I'm gone!

I do think that my body has reached a "set point," if you will. Of course, two years ago, my "set point" was 119 pounds. And when I finally lost the stubborn five pounds, I think my body reached a new "set point." I don't want to get too thin, but I do love the number 110! However, I'm just glad that as I get older, my weight isn't going UP...at least not right now! I hope I can maintain this weight until I get pregnant!

I know that the next week will include more sporadic eating...big meals, small meals, less snacks, meals-on-the-run, etc. So I'll be interested to see where my weight is at when I return. Hopefully the Wendie Plan will work for me and I'll come back a pound or two lighter! :)

************************ Cynthia and Becca27 and Princess Teacup--are you still out there? Miss you guys!

Jennifer68 on 05/11/2005:
There are times my body likes to STAY at a certain weight and refuses to budge. Its like it holds onto those pounds thinking it won't survive any smaller. But I am determined to retrain my metabolism. You can do it!! Jen

Runner - Tuesday May 10, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.0

Back to 113. No rhyme or reason for the gain, but is there ever a rhyme or reason? :) Not with my body! Of course, there's often no rhyme or reason for a loss, either!! So the 111.5 was likely an anomoly. Ah, well. Life goes on! I'll still keep doing the same things I always do---run 10km daily, walk for an hour, keep my calories to 1600 or less, get 7 hours of sleep, drink tons of water, etc.

But I must admit...after reading about the Wendie Diet plan, I am a bit curious as to what would happen if I varied my routine daily. For the last 7 years, I've been a creature of habit. I think my habits are quite healthy (for the most part), but I also have wondered many times if my body has just gotten too efficient. Maybe I don't burn calories as quickly as I used to. For someone who spends 2-3 hours a day exercising, I should probably be 90 pounds. (Not that I'd want to be, trust me!) But I've been battling the same 3 pounds since September. Maybe my body is stuck in a rut!

Ironically enough, there have been times when I've varied my diet on vacations and come back either the same weight as when I left, or a few pounds lighter! This doesn't always happen, but it does happen as often as a 1-2 lb. weight gain after a trip. I guess one thing I've learned is that when I vary my "routine" a bit, it either results in a gain or a loss. I rarely stay at the same weight; maintenance is extremely difficult for me!!

Anyway, probably none of this is making sense. But a little part of me is eager to stop eating healthy salads for lunch and to try something new. Of course, it may wreck havoc on my body, but then again, it might not! I guess if I really think about it, I've introduced foods BACK into my diet after 4-5 years of not eating them (like peanut butter) and it hasn't made me gain weight. I've just had to practice more self-control around those foods. And a lot of it comes down to portion sizes. Maybe I can enjoy more of those "richer" comfort foods if I can just keep my portions small. Isn't that what the French diet is all about?

Now I'm rambling on...bless you if you actually read through my whole entry! My brain has been scattered all day today...must be the Clomid I'm on to get my ovaries working. But that's another story for another day!

sweetpea1977 on 05/10/2005:
Hey Runner,

I completely understand what you are saying. I am following the same methodology that you have been using since you began 4-5 years ago. Even though Im not experiencing what you are currently going through, I have a feeling that this exact scenario will happen to me (and many others on here) one day.

I think you are right. Your body may have become too efficient, since you've been putting it through the same daily routine for a few years now. I also agree that you should probably vary your diet (and possibly your physical activities) to keep your body awake. Maybe just adding a few things back to your diet (in small portions) will solve the problem. Your weight is low enough to experiment with diet additions...just as long as you keep the exercise up. :o)

Let us know if/when you make any changes, I am very interested in how you will handle this situation!

Good luck!


jolt on 05/10/2005:
I have heard of people jump starting there loss by changing on meal to higher calories, or fat. Yes lunch would be the best one. There is nothing wrong with having a hamberger with a salad or something like that.

You will do it though. YOu are determined that is for sure, and you are not giving up :)

Clomid made me feel out of touch that is for sure. !

Whew I made it and read the whole thing.....LOL



geevee on 05/10/2005:
It was just a few days ago since BTC despaired of how much she had eaten during the week-end home in London, yet look what happened when she got on the scale the other day. She's down to 112!

There has to be something to this idea of getting one's body to up the metabolism and get it out of the rut it's in. Hey, I tried to do my part yesterday with that minimum, 1000 cal. Stromboli and all the that red wine! From 2100 cal yesterday, I'll aim for 1000 today.

I remember you admonishing Princess to eat more because with so few calories you thought her body was in starvation mode. She wasn't losing any weight. And then you talked about taking a year to finally drop the final five pounds.

Well, as you've read in my diary I've now been at a standstill for 4� months. It's time to move on!

I hate being up a pound today, but what else could I expect after yesterday's fest? It will be interesting to see what happens after a week of changing my calorie intake each day.

IronBlossom on 05/10/2005:
Maybe 113 is just where you're supposed to be for your body? I don't know how tall you are, but 113 seems TINY to me. Nobody can lose weight forever, after all.

Other than that thought, I agree with everyone else. Maybe a few higher calorie days to balance out all the low calorie days, and to give you more energy.

borntocry on 05/10/2005:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for your comment! You are my mentor, so your approval means a lot to me! You asked whether I'm happy at 112.5 lb. or whether I would like to be thinner. I think the answer is that I am happy at 112.5. I'm going to continue to keep track of my calorie deficit just because I don't have a scale, so that's the only way I can make sure that I'm either losing weight or at least maintaining my weight! I would kind of like to weigh 110.2 lb. - which is 50 kilos exactly - but I think I will be happy if I stay at 112.5. It's funny how just a short while ago I was so happy to see 118, and yet if I weighed in at 118 now I would be so horrified!

And yes, my clothes are finally looser! There was practically no difference when I went from 123 to 118 lb, even though I could see the change in myself when I looked in the mirror. You asked me then whether my clothes were any looser and I was disappointed to report that they weren't. But I recently tried on a new pair of pants I had bought for myself at 118 lb. and they are practically hanging off me! I was actually a bit upset because I had been saving them for a special occasion and they are almost too loose to wear at all now, let alone on a special occasion!

As for the Wendie plan, I can't say whether or not it works, as I've never intentionally followed it. All I know is this: three weeks ago I weighed in at 115 lb. To celebrate, I went off my diet that weekend. I went back on my diet the week after that, except for one night when I had a huge meal out with my husband's cousins. The weekend after that I went out with my friend and had a huge brunch - I'd say around 1500 calories - followed by popcorn at the movies. I followed that with another week of dieting and then a weekend of binge-eating in London. I did keep track of my calories throughout all this and I did have a 3500-calorie deficit by the time I next weighed myself. But I certainly did not expect to see my biggest loss ever. In fact, I was worried that at 115 lb. I might actually need to stay below 1600 calories to maintain my weight, in which case I certainly wouldn't have lost any additional weight and might even have gained some of my old weight back!

All I can say is that I'll have to wait and see whether this trend continues for me. I hope it does!

Runner - Monday May 09, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 111.5

Wow. I'm actually down a pound! It's because for the first time in a couple of weeks, I'm NOT bloated! Wahoo! That makes me feel so much better. I haven't changed my eating habits, so I have no idea why my stomach can just blow up like a balloon at times, but I love the days when the balloon POPS and I'm back to normal!

This weekend was easier than I thought it would be with the food choices. But in two days, I'm leaving for another trip that will include a few meals out and 8 full days "on the road." This kind of schedule usually results in a 1-2 pound gain, which takes me 2 weeks to lose until I take another trip and the nasty cycle starts all over again. Oh, well. It could be much worse! At least I have SOME say in what I eat.

Like BTC, I'm dreading the three weeks I'll spend in the U.S. this summer...even though it's a couple of months away, I know it will be one big eating-fest. Oh, well. I'm not going to worry about that now.

tabbylove74 on 05/09/2005:
Nice one Runner, (thumbs up)

borntocry on 05/09/2005:
Hi Runner!

Congratulations on your weight! Wonder if I will ever see a number as low as that... I'm starting to think it could actually happen!

You're right, I am so worried about my upcoming trip to America. It's six weeks away, but I'm already trying to think of strategies to limit the damage! One thing which I think I've become quite good at since my last trip to America is holding off on regular food in anticipation of special meals or treats. Hopefully I will be able to use that skill to keep the calories somewhat under control!

Also, my parents-in-law have a scale, so maybe I can use that to monitor my weight... but much as I don't want to undo all my hard work, I don't want to completely ruin my trip worrying about weight either. I think I will just try to follow a few basic rules of thumb: to save my calories for special meals and treats, not to eat anything I can get here, to bring packaged foods back with me instead of eating them on the spot, etc. Hope it works!

geevee on 05/09/2005:
Be careful that the wind doesn't blow you away, you little wisp of a thing! 111 is SO good!

jolt on 05/09/2005:
Way to go Runner! You are doing great! And you are still motivated to keep on track! Excellent.



Runner - Friday May 06, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 112.5

Saw 112.5 today...but just ruined all my good efforts with 500 calories of brownies. At least they're ALL GONE now. I'm going on a 24-hour trip, so I hope I don't come back to 114. Anyway, nothing else is new on this side of the world! Still plugging away...

Jennifer68 on 05/08/2005:
Mmmm, brownies. I think we have all fallen prey to them before. Now they are gone (like my Fritos)and we can get back on track. Just keep swimming!! Jen

Runner - Thursday May 05, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.0

Still bloated...hmmm...I've been doing some research on the Internet, which is always risky, I know. But it does at least let me know that I'm not the only one out there who isn't pregnant but looks like it after eating a normal meal!

As for the brownies, I have eaten a couple small ones in moderation the last couple of days. The urge to eat 5 or 6 at once has passed, and I have squeezed them into my daily food intake by cutting out other calories. So hopefully I'm staying around 1600-1800.

Except for the brownies, I eat very healthy foods. I almost always have a salad with low-fat cottage cheese or imitation crabmeat for lunch, along with veggies and fruit. And my dinner is always some sort of protein and a large amount of veggies. I manage to squeeze in little treats during my snack times, but my meal times are always very healthy. I can thank my mom for that, as she always prepared healthy meals for us. (Except for the dessert...she served some sort of dessert every night, so I still crave something sweet after each meal!) Sometimes a piece of fruit or a Diet Coke will do the trick, but I often give in to a small piece of candy or some sf/ff pudding.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out if something I'm eating is making me bloat so badly...maybe I've developed lactose intolerance or something. I do have milk and other dairy products daily.

I'm picking up a Rotisserie chicken from Costco tonight. Those are sooo good. I stick to the breast meat, without skin. Thankfully, my hubby likes the thighs and drumsticks. I wonder if those chickens are basted in a lot of oil, though...the meat is always so moist!

borntocry on 05/05/2005:
Hi Runner,

Sorry to hear about your problem with bloating. It couldn't be from drinking too much water, could it? I remember I tried to up my water intake to eight glasses a day at one point and I started to feel like a water buffalo... my stomach was always really distended and made a constant swishing sound everywhere I went!

I think you're doing the right thing by making room in your diet for the occasional brownie every now and then. I believe that the reason we tend to go overboard on our "trigger foods" is that we see them as guilty pleasures which we don't normally allow ourselves. So when we finally succumb, we find ourselves driven to eat as much as we can before we return to our senses! But maybe by allowing ourselves these foods in moderation, we will come to see them as normal, everyday foods and there will be no reason to binge on them. That's what I'm hoping to do with peanut butter - allow myself a peanut butter sandwich every now and then for lunch. Then hopefully I won't feel the urge to eat it straight from the jar!

Oh, and thanks so much for the comment you left me. You <i>are</i> my personal running coach - I owe it all to you. In fact, I often wonder how you must feel when you read my entries... whether you take credit for all the progress I've made... because you should!

tabbylove74 on 05/05/2005:
Ever since i was a really young girl, everytime i ate i looked pregnant...i get a right pot belly after eating. My mum thought perhaps i had a wheat intolerance. It's potatoes and bread that are the worst offenders for making me look 5 months gone. It was even happening at my lowest weight..which was about 114lbs. When my belly sticks out i see people glance at it and you can hear their minds ticking away, so embarrassing. Thanks for the message..i also have a George Foreman grill but you can't beat the real BBQ thing. I'm very excited...i found a ketchup with piri piri chillies in it today. Can't wait to try it out lol. *******Oh Runner i'm So excited. In my womens magazine there's an advert for new tablet called Biofirm for women who look pregnant after eating! I saw it this evening and thought of you immediately. It's sold at health food shops and chemists...i WILL be trying it out. Bet Biofirm ain't for sale where you are. DAMN! Would you like me to send you a box? lol

Umpqua on 05/05/2005:
Great job on moderating those brownies! You actually reminded me I have a batch in my freezer that I had forgotten about. I'm lucky in that I don't like them frozen so I can thaw them out in small portions to control the intake. As for the cream cheese, I normally eat the "lite" variety, which has 1/3 less fat than the regular. I've tried the nonfat but just can't get used to the taste. Unfortunately I have the full fat real deal in my fridge now and that's what I used the other night. I had bought it for a cheesecake I never ended up making and have been doling it out sparingly.

jolt on 05/05/2005:
MMM CHicken they make awsume chicken. DOn't ask cause I don't want to know what they do to it, its just plain good! Good on you not eating every brownie in sight. (thats me gobble gobble gobble)

Keep up the great work!



feeleebubs on 05/05/2005:
I have the same problem. I bloat up so bad it hurts. Even when I have a small meal sometimes I bloat up and look like I'm pregnant. I make jokes about whether it'll be a girl or a boy, but it's very uncomfortable and NOTICABLE through my clothes. It makes me not want to eat for days before any kind of social gathering.

I've found that starches like rice, bread, potatoes, etc...and ice cream have the worst effect on me. Alchohol and chocolate also do it for me.

Runner - Wednesday May 04, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.0

I am tired of being bloated. I was 119 last night before bed...115 when I woke up, and somehow managed to get to 113 after my run. I don't like all the fluctuations, but I have to blame part of it on the bloating. Honestly, it's out of control. I've been to doctors who don't do anything except give me "anti-gas" pills or whatever. They don't work. I'm starting to get a bit scared that the problem is more serious than just my TOM or "salty foods."

Because no matter what I eat, I find myself being bloated almost every day...and I'm tired of walking around looking like I'm 3 months pregnant when I'm not!

Anyway...I had a good eating day today, but I've been snacking a bit tonight. So I got online to update my diary and now I am going to go BRUSH MY TEETH so I don't snack any more!

Umpqua on 05/04/2005:
That is a huge fluctuation over the course of a day. At least your weight always seems to go back down though! I had problems with bloating when my diet was unhealthy, but upping the fruits and veggies seemed to take care of it for me. I know you have a healthy diet so it sounds like something's not quite right. You shouldn't have to feel bloated and uncomfortable regularly - maybe it's time to see a specialist? Of course I'm sure that's easier said than done in your neck of the woods.

Cynthia on 05/04/2005:
Hey that brushing your teeth trick is a good one!!!

Hang in there! You are doing soooooooooooooo well, really you are, that body of your is playing nasty little tricks. Don't let it get the impression it's getting the best of you! Make yourself look really pretty (either in jogging clothes or something a bit fancier) Just show that body of yours that you look good, you know it and you control it!!!!!! xoxo cynthia

geevee on 05/04/2005:
This "slimming" tea I bought has a natural laxative in it, that's for sure! So of course one would expect to lose weight. I'm going to waait and see what's going to happen over the next few days.

There was a brochure in the box describing the other teas this company sells, and I remember one was the answer to bloating. I will recheck the info and tell you the details tomorrow, not that you'll be able to find it in Taiwan, but you might since it's a Chinese family enterprise, and who knows, maybe its products are distributed in Taiwan too.

It gave me a good laugh when I found 3 tea bags of Good Figure Tea in my pantry. Lord knows how long I've had it. I can't remember even buying it, but it's a China export and does have that familiar "translated" tinge to it, don't you think?

Oh! that it were so simple that all we had to do was to drink tea! I'm really just curious to see if it works.

Runner - Monday May 02, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 113.0

Disclaimer: this entry contains extreme honesty...and I'm embarrassed to admit that I've had some rough days lately...but I know more than anyone how important it is to be honest with myself. And many of you have been very supportive of me through this process, even though you may not fully understand my personal struggles. So here's my shame-faced entry of my day yesterday, which was far from perfect!

I'm back to 113, after my run. The bottom line is that I've eaten more calories than my body needs!

I ate a total of 5 brownies yesterday...and each one had to have been around 200 calories, even though they were small. I had two for lunch, one for snack, and two at 10pm, when I dug them out of the freezer...and ate them cold while my hubby was taking out the trash. A couple of years ago I snapped my permanent retainer in half by trying to eat a frozen brownie. Dumb move, as I had to rush to the orthodontist to get it fixed. Eventually, he just took it off my teeth, as it wasn't really necessary and was on the back of my teeth anyway. But my point is that some of my dumb habits haven't changed...I'm still tempted to dig out goodies from the freezer and consume them standing up, with the freezer door still open. Yeah, I don't do that very often, but I did yesterday, and it's a habit I'd like to break TOTALLY.

Mistake number one was making the brownies in the first place. Mistake number two was thinking that I could eat one and be satisfied. Mistake number three was not telling my husband that I need to be monitored around these "trigger foods."

Thankfully, I know how to learn from my mistakes. I'm not beating myself up over it, but I am going to be much more proactive tonight. I used to throw out foods that became too much temptation, but I want to learn how to live in the same house with these foods without giving in to them. It's FOOD, for crying out loud...food should NOT have power over me like this. I am stronger than the food. I have plenty of "weapons" and strategies to help me avoid overeating. I know what to do, and I know how to do it. It's such a mental game, isn't it?

I haven't touched the peanut butter for a few weeks now, so I know that I can do the same with the brownies in the freezer. I just have to tell myself over and over again that eating 5 brownies in one day will NOT make me happier...it will NOT make me a better person...and it will NOT allow me to maintain my weight!

Weight loss is 100% physical AND 100% mental. At least that's my theory!

geevee on 05/03/2005:
Having that inner dialogue with yourself is a sign of progress, not that it's always successful but it's one possible brake on unacceptable eating.

For me, it's the main feature in my mental world that distinguishes the "original" fat me from the current slimmer me. At 165 if I felt like a second McD's hot fudge sundae for the day, I wouldn't give it a second thought and have one. I DIDN'T THINK at all about the possible effect of what I was doing. There was no calorie counting at all. Eating half a pound of pistachioes is no different from eating 5 brownies.

AVOIDANCE is another important point you made. If we have the "trigger" foods in the house, we will give in and eat them. Being able to control the amount is another goal to strive for in our quest to eat sensibly and well. Usually you give your leftovers to people at work or prevail upon your husband to finish the danger foods before you do. Yesterday you weren't so lucky. To totally ban a particularly enjoyable food from the home isn't the answer. Most of the time you are able to handle the fact that they are there and not over-indulge. Again, there was a breakdown yesterday. It's a matter of time before one is able to eat like that French author and actually leave some of the most desired food on the plate. I don't think I'll ever be able to do that!

Dieting is 100% mental. Yes!

Yesterday I was fully prepared to have another small cheese pizza and was looking forward to it, planning not to eat anything else except for veggies and fruit for the rest of the day. And then I got on the scale to see 127.5, and later, 126.5! "Nothing tastes as good as being slim feels" was screaming in my mind! I was able to cancel out my negative eating plan of having a pizza. That was yesterday. I'm not always able to do that.

This process is long and hard. You are paving the way for the rest of us, illustrating so well that reaching one's goal is just the beginning.

sweetpea1977 on 05/03/2005:
Hey Runner,

Thank you so much for the comment you left on my May 2nd article.

I admire your honesty on your brownie mishap. It takes a strong person to admit their struggles/defeats! I am glad you realized that you made a mistake and aren't beating yourself up for it. :o)

Like you said, you have the capability to leave the peanut butter alone so you will, one day, be able to leave those brownies alone. Just take it one day at a time and you will see that you will conquer those cravings!


borntocry on 05/03/2005:
Hi Runner,

I have the same problem as you do with "trigger foods". In fact, the first time you used that phrase, I was struck by how accurately it describes my total lack of control around certain foods! Why does that happen to us??

Like you, my ultimate goal is to learn how to live with temptation rather than just remove it from my life. So I bought a jar of peanut butter a couple of weeks ago, and while I'm proud to say that I haven't opened it yet, the truth is that I'm almost afraid of opening it for fear of what it might unleash! I guess it will be my personal challenge to myself to see how long I can make that jar last once it's opened!

Thanks for the comment you left me, by the way. Actually, I rarely if ever feel full, so what happened in London was quite unusual for me. I think it may have been because I went 20 hours without eating anything, and then basically ate all my day's calories in one go! The food was quite spicy, too, so I drank a lot of water, which I'm not used to doing. I think that probably contributed to my distended stomach afterwards! I'm glad, though, as it stopped me from eating anything more that night. I did ask my brother to keep an eye on me, just in case, and at one point he actually came running out of his room to check on me because he thought he heard the beep of the microwave! Isn't that sweet?

Your comment about wishing you had asked your husband to monitor you reminded me of that. See, unlike you, I can't solicit my husband's help as I know he has no respect for dieters. He believes that if one leads an active enough lifestyle, one shouldn't need to watch what one eats. Well, that's easy for him to say! At 6'4" he has 3600 calories to consume over the course of a day. It's practically impossible for him to go over!

You know, I've just realised that even though I didn't undo all my good work during my weekend away, I did consume about 4000 calories in a 24-hour period. It was only because that 24-period spanned two days that it doesn't look as bad as it is! So you see, you're not the only one capable of eating an insane amount of food in a short space of time!

Runner - Monday May 02, 2005
(Under 1600 calories)
Weight: 112.5

I'm not really 112.5. That's only my weight after my 50-minute run, and I know that I lose at least 2 pounds of water. I've been weighing in at 114.5 before my run...but I'm still discouraged about that, as it's a good one and a half pound gain. So I'm aiming to get it back down to 113 before my runs...and then maybe I'll see the wonderful "111" before too long!

I'm not off to a very good start today, though, as I've had two (lowfat) brownies. And this weekend I had some of the best ice cream I've ever had in my life. We paid dearly for it...it was $8 for a pint! But here in Asia, finding good ice cream is like finding a rare jewel. That ice cream was worth every single calorie and every single cent. I usually don't think that any food is worth a lot of money and extra calories, but I'm making an exception this time. It's a good thing it's very expensive, though, because I'll never be able to afford it on a regular basis!

jolt on 05/02/2005:
Thanks for you comment in my diary. Sometimes it feels like no one hears what you say. Keep up the great work! I am sure you will hit that 111 before you know it! WOW the ice creame sounds great! I would make an exception for that too ;)

Hugs and best of luck on your journey


borntocry on 05/02/2005:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for your comment. Wow, you do know exactly how I feel, don't you? You're right, we don't really deprive ourselves, so there's no reason for us to feel that way. And I actually think that I enjoy treats more now that I have them in moderation. Before, I was like a spoilt child with too many toys - I ate whatever I wanted but I didn't really appreciate anything.

I haven't tried taro - what is it exactly? Is it anything like lotus? I had some steamed lotus paste dumplings for dessert at a Chinese restaurant on Saturday, and those were delicious!

geevee on 05/02/2005:
Being able to find a good food that's normally unavailable just makes it so much more enjoyable. $8 a pint really isn't that high a price when you consider that on those rare occasions when I do buy ice cream it costs at least $4 here. These occasional splurges are worthwhile and I'm glad you enjoyed your well-deserved treat!

Cynthia on 05/02/2005:
Runner, how did you end up living in Asia? What do you like most about living in that country?

Sometimes when I see a weight of 115, 112, or even 125 ... I'm like ... they can't have issues or struggles but, I know that's not so.

Congratulations on being so aware of your weight and your health! cynthia

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