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Runner - Thursday Mar 03, 2005

Weight: 113.5

Bummer, bummer, bummer. I was hoping that I'd see 112.5 or 113...but the reality is that I gained a full 2 pounds.

2.2 pounds, to be exact, as my scale shows the kilograms as well as the pounds.

I shouldn't be surprised, but I am a little. Usually, I can maintain my weight while I'm traveling, as I always get plenty of exercise and snack less. But I just found myself eating too much junk, and a lot of it was stuff that I didn't make myself, so who knows how many calories it contained!

It rained every single day of my trip. Every single morning, I rolled out of bed early to go running and had to push myself to venture out into the rain. I came home with wet running shoes and wet clothes 5 days in a row. And then I came back to my home and found that it was raining here, too. Ugh! Will it ever end? Thankfully, it was dry this morning during my run, but it was quite cold! Sometimes I wonder why I push myself so hard to exercise, but I guess I just know that I can't allow myself to relax too much or my weight will climb so quickly. I mean, if I can put on 2 pounds in 6 days from sporadic meals and bad eating, what would happen if I quit exercising? I would be gaining at least a pound a week, I'm sure!

Anyway...it's a new day. I have to be gone the next four nights, so homemade, low-fat dinners are going to be out-of-the-question. Guess I'll pack my own snacks...but I am looking forward to a more relaxed schedule that will start next Tuesday!!!

borntocry on 03/04/2005:
Hi Runner,

I'm sorry about your gain. It does seem like a lot to have gained in just six days! At least you seem to be able to lose it again relatively quickly too. I'm sure you will see the numbers drop soon.

The weather has been terrible here too and I've been thinking of you and how you manage to get out there every day, rain or shine! You really are an inspiration to us all. I used to think that you were too dedicated, but now I see that one has to be dedicated because otherwise, there is always some excuse not to do it. If it isn't the bad weather, then it's a bad day at work, or the beginning of a cold, or something else which just comes up...

Thanks for your comment, by the way, and for the compliment! I'm flattered that you like my entries! I really missed sharing my ups and downs with you over the past few days, when I couldn't connect to the site.

Oh yes, and I am still cooking and baking everything in a toaster oven! Amazing, isn't it? My husband and I are looking for a new place now and I've specified that the one thing I absolutely need in the new place is a proper kitchen. Right now we just have a little studio apartment with a "kitchenette" in the corner!

becca27 on 03/04/2005:
Eating junk leaves me feeling so yucky. I can't stand it - it always makes things worse for me. You are fortunate to be in such a groove with the exercise. I'm far away from that. Everytime I think I'm ready to get something steady going, my plans get thwarted. This week it's been TOM.

I hope you're OK with the fluctuations and keep the exercise steady - it will allow you the freedom to eat those extra calories, even if they're bad ones.

Runner - Thursday Mar 03, 2005

Weight: 111.0

HI, folks! I'm back from my trip...I'll see how much damage was done tomorrow when I step on the scale! I've eaten far too much junk and am ready to get BACK ON TRACK.

By the way...those fried apple pies were individual servings, but they were big nonetheless! Think of 1 1/2 McDonald's apple pies and that's about the size of them.

I'll check back in tomorrow...and I know I won't be seeing 111!

borntocry on 03/03/2005:
Hi Runner! Sorry to hear that your trip was a junk-fest! That happens to me every time I go on a trip anywhere, it seems. I'm going to London again this weekend and am terrified of what I'm going to end up doing. I'm trying to remind myself that I actually do have some control over what goes into my mouth!

I went running in the freezing rain, on icy streets, yesterday! And I thought of you the whole time, and how grateful I am to you for having inspired me to start running. When I first discovered this website, yours was one of the first diaries I read. Yet I was reluctant to comment because I was so jealous of you - not just of your weight but of your athletic prowess. And yet you took an interest me and were generous and selfless enough to encourage me to follow in your footsteps. Of course I don't run anywhere near as much or as often as you but it has still made such a big difference in my life - not just in the way I look but in the way I feel about myself as well. I feel like I have so much more confidence now. Thanks again, for everything!

cynthia on 03/03/2005:
You've got the greatest attitude. Welcome home, with out a doubt you're going to get back in the groove .. thanks for that infectious positive attitude of yours!!! Cynthia

Maria7 on 03/03/2005:
Welcome back! Those Mcd's apple pies are only a little over 200 cals, so if you ate 1 and a half, that's not bad at all....provided they are the same in calories, that is...

Runner - Sunday Feb 27, 2005

Weight: 111.0

Quick check-in...

I'm having a hard time, friends. I've had two days of eating much more junk than I need. My lunch today was three fried apple pies. No kidding. Oh, and I had some cheesecake, too. Long story, but the bottom line is that I've overeaten and according to the scale where I'm staying, I'm at 115. I think the scale is off, as I was 111 yesterday morning, but just in case I am 115, I need to be much more careful in the next few days.

Unfortunately, I have another social get-together tomorrow that will feature plenty of fattening foods I don't normally eat.

To make matters worse, it is raining nonstop here. I managed to run in the rain this morning, but it was miserable. I did it anyway, but I wasn't enjoying it after 30 minutes.

becca27 on 03/01/2005:
How big is a fried apple pie? I'm having a difficult time picturing you eating 3 "pies" at a lunch sitting. Please tell me that they're individual serving sizes. If we're talking about 3 PIES - you are my hero! You're fortunate that you are in such excellent shape and exercise so much.- Look at you! Running in the rain! I'm sure your body just burned that all away. I'm not a pie person. I would have eaten more of the cheesecake. You get health points for the apples, though.

Thanks for the encouraging words and SOS. It meant a lot! Have a great day.

Runner - Friday Feb 25, 2005

Weight: 111.0

I'm holding to my new low, but I'm having a really hungry day...so I know I've eaten a few more calories than normal. In spite of not liking coconut, I managed to have a few bites of the German Chocolate cake I made my husband...man, it was good! If the frosting would have been cream cheese or buttercream, I know I wouldn't have been able to keep my hands off it!

But I brought it in to work, and it's all gone now! So I can't secretly binge on it when no one is looking. If I can stay away from overeating on the tempting treats that I know I'll face this upcoming week, then I'll consider myself successful.

Tomorrow is my husband's birthday party, and I'm purposely serving some foods that I don't like at all---if I serve all sorts of foods that I enjoy, I KNOW I'll overeat. I know my weaknesses by now!

breakaway on 02/25/2005:
Great job today! Congrats on the new low and I'm glad that cake was not to your liking as much as it could have been ;)

Runner - Thursday Feb 24, 2005

Weight: 111.0

I've got to record my new "low," as I'm afraid it's a one-time thing! I ate an early dinner last night and didn't drink much water, so I think that was reflected on the scale this morning. I know how much my body can fluctuate, so I guess it worked to my favor for once!

But knowing how easily I can "gain" three pounds after a big meal, I'm not holding my breath!

I'm so glad I have a little wiggle room before this next week, though. I'll be away from home for almost a week, which always poses a different set of challenges. Plus, my husband's birthday is tomorrow, so I'm baking a cake and we'll have dinner out. I'm adding coconut to the frosting, though, so I'm not tempted to eat spoonfulls of it! Yes, I know it's gross, but I can eat far more frosting than the average person. Forget the cake---I go straight for the frosting!

borntocry on 02/24/2005:
Wow! Look at that weight! It might be because you drank less water than usual, but I think that just means that this is your true weight, without any extra water weight.

Thanks for your comment, by the way. I dream about people from this website too! In fact I think I had a dream about SaneJane that same night that I dreamt of baking George W. Bush a cake. Funny, isn't it?

Well, I hope you and your husband have a nice time on his birthday! (My husband just told me that one of the presents he had gotten for me fell out of his pocket yesterday - how typical!)

geevee on 02/24/2005:
You're really on a roll Runner! There's no stopping you now! That's a crucial half pound you discarded, and let's hope it's not just for an hour or so. How comforting it must be to have that leeway when you'll be traveling and not have to worry so much. Note the qualification, "so much". After this long struggle, we know very well that it all can change in a day.

Runner - Tuesday Feb 22, 2005

Weight: 111.5

Is it possible? Did I really see 111.5 this morning? I'm in total disbelief myself. I haven't really been cutting my calories, but I have upped my daily walking. Maybe that's all it takes! Anyway, I prefer to see this number than 114, that's for sure!

Now I just can't blow it. I'd like to maintain my weight around 112.

I almost lost it last night while making banana bread. (I tried a new recipe that called for 1/2 cup of butter! So I knew that I didn't want to eat it myself!)

I was making it for a party, but for some reason my dumb convection oven baked the outside far quicker than the inside....so the middle of the bread was quite soft. When I tried to take it out of the pan, it fell into two big chunks. Of course, I had to try some of it right away. It was very buttery and very good. I just didn't let it cool enough before trying to take it out of the pan...I never can seem to wait long enough to let things cool!

Anyway, my husband ate several pieces (lucky guy) and I nibbled some bites myself. But then I knew that I couldn't keep it around, so I wrapped it in tinfoil and stuck it in the freezer. My husband can enjoy the whole thing himself when I'm gone on business next week.

But now I don't have a banana bread to take to the party...will have to think of something else! Preferrably with coconut, so I won't want to eat it. If it's anything chocolate, I'm a goner.

geevee on 02/23/2005:
Sometimes reading DD's is like watching the cooking channel which I realized was making me very hungry! Especially Rachel Rey and the way she enjoys desserts.

Even though I just finished eating a half ham and cheese sandwich, imagining the grilled corn w/bbq sauce has my mouth watering plus the buttery banana bread. I'm just going to have to fire up the charcoal and see what I can come up with. Maybe I'll be able to find some of that course corn at one of the Latin markets.

You've really worked hard to get down to 111.5 and you deserve it!

Runner - Monday Feb 21, 2005

Weight: 112.5

Well, Geevee, I guess I do have some "breathing room," but I think the room is getting smaller and smaller, so I'd better be more careful this week! :) I was pleasantly surprised to see my weight back at 112.5 today. I think a 1/2 pound gain is reasonable from that big buffet lunch---and who knows? Maybe it's just a fluctuation! I know by now that the scales fluctuate more in their moods than I ever do on any given day!

I will be attempting some baking tonight for some parties this week and my hubby has requested a German Chocolate Cake for his birthday. Talk about complicated! I want to make it from scratch, of course, but finding all the ingredients here may be a bit of a challenge. Anyway, the good thing is that I don't like coconut, so hopefully that will help me keep my paws off it!

I love Geevee's strategy about eating dinner throughout the span of a few hours...I often do that with breakfast. I'll eat two hardboiled egg-whites before work and then about 1 1/2 hours later, I'll eat a bowl of cereal while I'm at work. Sure, it takes time to put the cereal in a tupperware container and to make sure I have some milk in the fridge. But it works for me, and those two egg whites somehow tide me over until it's time for my high-fiber cereal.

So maybe I'll try the same strategies for dinnertime!

***Becca---where are you?? We miss you!

borntocry on 02/22/2005:
Yay! Glad to see your weight is back at 112.5 again. How funny that your husband has asked you to make chocolate cake for his birthday - my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I've asked my husband to make me a chocolate cake! Of course, I'm the one who generally makes the desserts, as you know, but I don't want to make my own birthday cake!

Thanks so much for the comment you left me, by the way. I laughed out loud at the thought of my husband having pizza for dinner every night until he's totally sick of it! I'd love to see the day that happens. You know, I have wondered whether to try just cooking whatever I want and letting him fend for himself but I don't want to make food which only I am going to eat. Actually, that's the worst thing about cooking a meal which he doesn't appreciate - the fact that I'm inevitably going to have to finish most of it myself!

I was interested to read that you bring cereal to work. I've often wished I could do that, but I have nowhere to keep the milk. I think there is milk at the vending machine but it's hot, full-fat milk and I hate the taste of that.

However, I am planning to take packed lunches into work two or three times a week, exactly as you said, and then have a hot lunch the other two days. I've been looking for healthy sandwich recipes on the allrecipes.com and epicurious.com and I've made a list of the ones I'm going to try. I do make my own hummus and one of the recipes I'm going to try is for a hummus and vegetable wrap - that should be good!

And thanks for those links to calorie counting websites - I'm going to check them out right now!

Runner - Sunday Feb 20, 2005

Weight: 112.0

Sunday weight---a new low---111.5

Monday weight---113.5

Yup. Two pounds in 24 hours. Even though part of it is due to water retention from my very salty meal, I'm sure I gained at least 1/2 pound.

I went to a Korean BBQ buffet yesterday for lunch and it was fantastic. I filled up on plenty of veggies, but also enjoyed the large variety of fish and other meat and some boiled taro. I couldn't resist a couple of the desserts, too, even though they were tiny. Needless to say, I left stuffed. BUT, I managed to get about 3 hours of walking in throughout the day, and I also went to the gym. So I was hoping that the buffet dinner wouldn't make such a big dent on the scale, especially after my new low.

But it did. Of course.

And I deserve it, because I should have just eaten about 200 calories at night before bed, because I really wasn't hungry. But since I hadn't eaten since lunchtime, I somehow felt the need to eat more than a piece of toast and managed to consume a small bowl of cereal, a banana with some peanut butter, two low-fat brownies, and a piece of carrot cake. And I wasn't even that hungry!

So, dear friends...although I slipped up quite a bit yesterday, those kinds of days are rare for me. I don't know how people can eat out at buffets on a regular basis. About once every two months I can handle it, and then it takes me a good week to get back to where I was!!!

borntocry on 02/21/2005:
At least your weight is fluctuating around the 111-113 range, instead of the 113-115 range. This is quite low even for you. I think the whole point of getting to a good, low weight is so that you can have a little room to gain half a pound here or there on special occasions!

By the way, I'm sorry for my harsh rebuttal of your advice last week. I've given a lot more thought to your suggestion, and I've come to the conclusion that you're right. I should start bringing in packed lunches from home. I'm working on making a list of different lunches which I could bring in to work. It's a bit difficult because I'm not used to preparing meals just for myself, and I want them to be appetising but low-calorie enough to make it worthwhile. What I want to avoid at all costs is the risk of actually increasing my calorie intake. At the moment I truly enjoy my various lunch options - they are hot and filling and although I estimate them at 700 calories, they are probably less. For instance, I calculated the calories in my tomato and mozzarella panini and realised that it can't contain more than 600 calories at most. So if I start bringing lunch in from home, I want to be sure that it's well under that. I have noticed that there are certain low-calorie (or relatively low-calorie) foods which do fill me up and which I really like, so that's a start.

I was also thinking that this would be a good way to get rid of leftovers, especially things my husband doesn't like (and it's normally the healthy, low-calorie things which he doesn't like). And I would also be able to try out new recipes which he might not like and which I might otherwise have a hard time finishing all by myself. What do you think?

Oh, and regarding the black beans, I was indeed calculating the calories in uncooked beans, as I used two cups of uncooked beans. But after reading your comment, I looked at a more reliable website, according to which a cup of black beans has about 660 calories. But I still probably had around 300-400 calories worth of beans. I have a big problem with so-called "healthy" food. While some foods are so low in calories that it is hard to eat too much of them (like egg whites, as you say), unfortunately that is not the case with many other nutritious foods, such as beans, lentils, brown rice, oatmeal, nuts, and breakfast cereals like Special K. I have learnt through bitter experience that "healthy" does not necessarily mean "low calorie"!

geevee on 02/21/2005:
Runner, I'm impressed! Now you really have some "breathing room", something I sure don't! All that walking and work at the gym has paid off handsomely.

Runner - Friday Feb 18, 2005

Weight: 112.0

I'm convinced that walking everywhere is keeping my weight down, because I enjoyed two Stroopwaffles last night!!! But I ate pretty low-cal most of the day, so maybe my calorie limit was normal. I'm not sure, as I don't know how many calories are in those buttery, sweet Stroopwaffles. Probably more than I want to know!

But since I've been walking for at least 1-2 hours every day, I think that has allowed me to enjoy a couple extra treats. (And I'm still running, of course...running is my drug of choice!) ha ha It's the only thing I'm addicted to!

BUT, I think my hubby and I are going out to dinner tonight...probably a sushi buffet. So even though it's sushi and healthy, I'm sure there will be unhealthy choices to tempt me. I'll enjoy it, but I hope that I can show restraint. Buffets are hard for me...I always want to try a little bit of everything!

geevee on 02/18/2005:
Supposedly, walking is one of the secrets of the French for not getting fat. It sure is working for you. Good goin'.

As for eggplant, dipped in egg and flour and then fried is my favorite. Then, layer it in a casserole w/spaghetti or tomato sauce, add mushrooms and/or meat, then cheese and top with mozzarella or some other good melting cheese and you probably have 1000 cal. a portion.

Since my weight has not only stalled but gone up 2.5lbs I decided to go lo-cal and just steam the eggplant. You you sure lose a lot of tasty calories! Then I've also cut back and mostly use lo-fat cheese except for when there's so little difference, like you with the ice cream, I just go ahead and use regular. But last night I eliminated the top layer and as you say, "saved" at least 100 cal. I just love anything with spaghetti sauce and cheese and this compromise with steaming the eggplant instead of frying it does help tho it does lose a lot.

Penguin_14 on 02/19/2005:
Yep! I've tried diet pop. There's something in it that, I swear, actually makes me more thirsty. I've struggled with this pop thing since I was a kid. I can be off of it for months at a times, then I'm back at it. It used to be a major part of my day, so I've improved. The fight with it is still on though!

Have a good day!

Maria7 on 02/19/2005:
My Hubby refuses to eat at a restaurant unless it's buffet!!!! Ugh!

Runner - Thursday Feb 17, 2005

Weight: 112.5

I'm holding on to 112.5! Two days in a row is a new record! I'm not holding my breath, though!

I think the only way I maintained 112.5 today is because I walked at least 1 1/2 hours yesterday, in addition to my run. The weather here is gorgeous right now, so I find any excuse possible to be outside. I wasn't perfect on the diet front, though...I ended up eating some cookie dough and more than one serving of homemade chocolate-covered pretzels.

I never should have made the pretzels. I don't like plain pretzels, normally. So I thought that I wouldn't be tempted by chocolate covered ones. Ha! How dumb can I be? If there's chocolate on it, I'll eat it!

Anyway...I'm doing well today so far. If I can resist those Stroopwaffles in my cupboard, that will be an accomplishment.

borntocry on 02/17/2005:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for your advice. In response to your suggestions:

1. I don't deliberately eat highly caloric foods because I think they will fill me up. I had the fried nuts because I couldn't resist the temptation.

2. I have no choice when it comes to lunch. If I want to have a salad with veggies, cottage cheese and fat-free dressing then I have to make it at home and bring it with me. I have no refrigerator at work so storage is a problem. Also, I have lunch with my husband which means outdoors in below freezing weather and I like to have something hot to warm me up. The only way I can do that is by getting a hot sandwich and I have to assume that any hot sandwich I get has 700 calories - 400 calories for the bread, 200 calories for the cheese, and 100 calories if there's butter or anything in it. I did find out that the spaghetti at Pizza Hut has only 490 calories so I'm going to get that the next time my husband wants to go there for lunch, and that should give me some leeway for the rest of the day.

3. I can't eat egg whites because I believe that it is wrong to waste food. I have learnt not to feel guilty about throwing something away if it hasn't turned out well or if I really hate it but it would go against my morals to deliberately throw away good food when there's nothing at all wrong with it.

4. It's hard to make sure that there are healthy things for me to fill up on at dinnertime as well as something which my husband can eat. Steamed broccoli is not enough for him - he says he needs heartier fare and while he would be willing to just get McDonald's or Pizza Hut for dinner, he already has that for lunch and I'm concerned about his health. I'd rather he have something home-cooked for dinner. And it's hard enough for me to work, get groceries, exercise and cook without having to prepare two meals every night as well.

Please don't think I'm not grateful for the advice - I am, and I know that I probably won't see the results you have without making some sacrifices, but I guess I'm not ready for a complete lifestyle overhaul just yet!

geevee on 02/17/2005:
OH, that's so encouraging to stay at a new low for more than one day! You've got it figured out, that's for sure. Now that the week-end is about here, I bet it continues.

hadababy on 02/17/2005:
You are doing fab on the weight front, I would love to see that weight myself! :) Just one question, what is Stroopwaffles? Thanks, Kelly

Penguin_14 on 02/17/2005:
Thank you SO much for your very thoughtful comments yesterday. I, too, read your entries daily. I can see that you also have many of the same struggles that I have, even though our weights are at opposite ends of the spectrum. I understand that you have your own struggles being thin as I have being heavy. Like you, I don't understand all of yours having never been thin and vice versa. There's an old saying: Relate, don't compare. That's what I try to do with everyone's entries (it sounds like you do, too). I may not walk in your shoes, but I often share them.

Have a wonderful evening!

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