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Runner - Saturday Jan 15, 2005

Weight: 112.5

What a treat to see 112.5 again...it usually only happens on a Saturday for some reason, but it sure is nice! I hope it lasts, even though I have two days of eating out ahead of me. (At least one meal a day). Those pills the doctor gave me for my bloating sure have worked well...I haven't been bloated since Wednesday!

Thanks for all the supportive comments. I've been writing regularly for DD's since February, 2003, so I've been here almost two years. It's comforting to have anonymity here...to be able to write about such personal things and to receive encouragement and support. I think I would just fall apart if anyone I know read my entries...my family wouldn't understand, and neither would most of my friends. They see me as being a "perfect" size, never knowing how hard I work to maintain my weight. Most of them haven't been around for the past 6 years, as I've ridden a constant emotional rollercoaster at times. I basically lost all the weight right after I graduated from college, so I left all my college friends behind and had to make new ones when I got my first job. Therefore, the people who have known me in the last 6 years have only known the "thin" me. Most of them are totally surprised when they learn that I used to weigh 40 pounds more. They don't usually believe it until I show them pictures.

Anyway...all that to say that I'm thankful I have this site, where I can express my frustrations and successes, and where I feel "connected" to people who struggle with the same things I struggle with.

Umpqua on 01/15/2005:
It's nice to see a low number like that - even if it comes around just once a week. I know what you mean about this site, and I'm very grateful for it too. While I'm still trying to lose a few more pounds, I've been successful at maintaining a 45-pound loss and it's not easy. Every day is a struggle and my friends and family don't realize it (my husband does though!) It's good to know others feel the same way and we're all here to support each other. I hope you're having a great weekend!

Runner - Thursday Jan 13, 2005

Weight: 113.5

Finally, finally, I'm not as bloated today. The doctor gave me some anti-bloating pills, and maybe they're working already. All I know is that it was nice to see a number lower than 114 on the scale!

I ate pretty well yesterday, although I had two small cookies that I baked. (And some candy...it all adds up quickly, doesn't it?) I made "cake-mix cookies," where you just add 1 egg and 1 stick of butter to a cake mix and the cookies come out quite moist! I added raisins, chopped pecans, and chocolate chips to my cookies and took them to a meeting to share with the Chinese...they LOVED them. They ate them all, thankfully! I didn't want ANY leftovers!

Anyway, I've been eating well today so far. I'm going to a Japanese restaurant tonight, so I'm hoping I can stick to the Miso soup and sushi. Of course, that food is rather salty, so I'll likely be bloated by the end of the night!

In America, sweets are everywhere. In Asia, salt is everywhere! It's hard to avoid, as most foods are loaded with MSG or soy sauce.

Becca27 on 01/13/2005:
I'm glad you're feeling better. Hopefully you'll stay on this road. How do you contain yourself to "2 small cookies" when you bake? I can't bake because when I do, I end up eating the dough and most of the cookies. Candy corn from November??? How?? You're much more controlled than you give yourself credit for - which means that you've obviously come a long way and I have a long way to go. I'm rarely attracted to salty foods, so I think I'd be OK over there.

Regarding a specialist, I didn't even think of the insurance complication. That could be a problem. Well, maybe you could have, at least, a consultation with someone -

I love Green tea and everything hot, but I need to get used to drinks without sugar substitute. I put Splenda in everything, and I think that too much of it in a day can be harmful. Do you think so? I know that Splenda is all natural, so maybe it isn't bad.

geevee on 01/13/2005:
Thanks for the site. I was checking it out and like it a lot.

I thought of you the other day when I found a basket of reduced cooking chocolate chips and some other kind of both milk and white chocolate by Nestle that you melt and then dip strawberries and other fruits in. At 25 cents a pkg. and bag, I came home with NINE! That means I'll have to bake.

skinnyjill on 01/13/2005:
I need to move there. I can't stand anything too salty, but sweets are my downfall. I'm not a huge fan of true Asian food, I guess the salt content gets to me. American-Asian is different, I can tell. I went to the buffet with BF today, but I stayed away from the fired stuff.

I'm glad they liked your cookies!

Adam on 01/13/2005:
Runner - Please go to the home page of the DD site, scroll down, and click on the Your Info link. Then check your email address in the "Private" section -- the comment notifications are bouncing back.


Adam/Jay DD Site Owner

Maria7 on 01/13/2005:
Your cake mix cookies remind me of the oatmeal cookies I made at Christmas with pecans and chocolate chips! hehehe...I know they are so good! Glad to know you are my sister in Christ!

feeleebubs on 01/13/2005:
I'm glad you are getting medicated for the bloaty belly. I read your entry a few days back, but didn't get a chance to comment. I have been feeling like that a lot lately too. I'm terribly bloated.

I had Miso soup and Suchi for the first time a few weeks ago. Not bad stuff at all. I'm allergic to MSG though so I have to stay away from most asain restuants.

borntocry on 01/14/2005:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for your comment, and for reading my long entry!

I know you've told me many times that my shin splints could be because of my running shoes, but they really aren't that old (a few months - maybe six? - and I don't use them that often, you know!). I think I just increased my weekly mileage too quickly. In a short space of time, I went from running three miles twice a week, to running three miles every day. That's quite a big jump (for me). I think I just couldn't handle it.

Thanks for inspiring me to start taking goodies in to work. That way I can try out new recipes without calculating how many calories they're going to cost me! I think my co-workers can afford to each have one treat - at least more than I can afford to gobble them all up myself at home! And I think they do appreciate it. I've become a lot closer to them now. We're even thinking of going on a skiing trip together!

As for my nationality, well, it's not surprising that you thought I was American since that's what everyone who meets me thinks. But I was born in England so I have a British passport. I've just spent most of my life in American schools so I have an American accent, an American husband, and all my cultural references are American. In fact my husband is better at understanding British accents than I am! I often have to ask him to translate for me!

I guess that's why I was so upset at the way I was treated in the airport. Even though I've only spent four years of my life actually living in America, it's really the only place I've ever felt that I belonged. But I guess if Americans are going through the same thing, then it wasn't directed at me personally. I guess I'm just one of the unlucky ones.

I'm glad to see that the pills you're taking are working. Good luck avoiding the salt!

Becca27 on 01/14/2005:
I use 1 packet of Splenda on my Kashi Go Lean cereal. I use 2 packets in every cup of coffee and tea that I drink. ...that's about it.

geevee on 01/14/2005:
Thanks for the pumpkin/banana bread recipe. The only ingredient I need is a ripe banana or two. I'll let you know how it comes out.I'm glad you're seeing 113 again. I wish I were so lucky.

Maria7 on 01/14/2005:
Written Friday...yes the salt will surely make the scale number go up! It doesn't take much, to do it, either...it can be a can of soup or popcorn!

Runner - Tuesday Jan 11, 2005

Weight: 114.5

I had another near-perfect eating day yesterday. With the exception of a handful of candy corns, I made smart choices all day long. Plus, I got in a 10km run and played basketball (with a bunch of guys) for over an hour. So I was still dismayed to see 114.5 (I first saw 115, but stepped on the scale again...) once again this morning. By now, I should know that it's my bloated belly. But I am just so frustrated that the scale continues to go up. It wants to say 115...I know it does!

I did go to the doctor today. He spoke decent English, which is a blessing! He did an ultrasound, but couldn't find anything abnormal from that. So I may have some sort of gastrointestinal problem. But he thinks that my bloating may be due to not having regular periods. So he gave me an injection of progesterone and said to see if the bloating goes down after I get my period. Then, I'll come in to do more tests, as he wants to make sure I don't have PCOS. I think this doctor will take me seriously...I hope so!

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I am concerned about bone loss and things like that...I was on Fosamaxx for awhile, which is usually given to menopausal women who are facing osteoporosis! But my bone density was awfully low, and the doctor thought it was necessary. I'm tired of doctors guessing that my lack of periods is due to running or my thyroid. I need someone to get to the root of the problem.

Borntocry---it was great to hear from you! I have been wondering how you are doing!!! Please update sometime and fill us in! We miss you!

Becca27 on 01/12/2005:
Where are you getting candy corn at this time of year???? We only see it out here in the fall. I guess if you're resourceful.....

I'm glad the the Dr. is doing some follow-up stuff to try and get to the "root" of the problem. When are you coming back to the States? Definitely see a specialist when you get here, if you're not doing better.

I think that the 5 days on/2 days off could work for me, as long as I don't go overboard on weekends. I need to re-establish some healthy, strict habits M-F, and learn to just "breathe" S & Su. We'll see.

geevee on 01/12/2005:
My body is being just as belligerant as yours. Swimming a mile and doing yoga for an hour and a half for the past 5 out of 6 days plus having about 1500-1600 cal. a day (minus all the exercise) you'd think it would be good for a measly half pound, but NO! The same goes for you and the running and basketball. WHY? What else do we have to do?

By the way, speaking of your pumpkin bread,do you substitute apple sauce for oil in bread as well as cake? What's the ratio for substitution? I'd like to try it out because I have some over ripe bananas I want to use for banana bread.

Runner - Monday Jan 10, 2005

Weight: 114.5

Geevee, I think our bodies are in sync. I had a model day of eating yesterday, too, and my weight is up a pound today. Plus, I feel bloated again. What gives? I'm trying to notice some sort of pattern with the food I eat, but I can't nail down anything. I thought that salty foods might do it to me, but I ate salty curry on Friday night and was down to 112.5 on Saturday morning.

Aaargh. Plus, I have to go out to lunch today. I brought my own salad just in case I can't find anything else to eat there. Of course, if I'm hungry, almost anything looks good. So the trick is not to go out to eat when I'm feeling super-hungry. I should have a small snack before I go.

Tomorrow is my appointment with the doctor...maybe I can figure this bloating thing out...and maybe I can start to reap the rewards of eating well and exercising! It's completely crazy that my weight continues to go up when I'm doing everything RIGHT.

borntocry on 01/11/2005:
Hi Runner,

Good luck at the doctor's tomorrow. Did you manage to find an English-speaking doctor? I know it's a bit late for this, but here in Paris there's both a British Hospital and an American Hospital, so maybe you could see if there's anything like that where you are, too. I am very fussy about doctors and don't trust any non-native-English-speakers (which is really crazy, I know, but still...).

I wonder if you could be pregnant, as you and others mentioned. I am about your age (27) and also trying to decide if I'm ready for that yet. I went go off the pill a week ago, but then I started imagining what it would be like to have a baby around... I freaked out and decided that I'm not ready yet. So today I'm going to go back on the pill!

By the way, I could really relate to your entry yesterday on sharing french fries with your husband. I do the same thing - as soon as I get my plate I start dumping most of my french fries on to my husband's plate. He always says, "Just eat however much you want first and then give me what's left." Ha! Like there'll be any left!

Anyway, good luck at the doctor's. I hope it goes well!

Becca27 on 01/11/2005:
Hi Runner,

I'm glad that you're going to the Dr. Hopefully, he/she is good and listens and can get you on the right path.

geevee on 01/11/2005:

There's something to our bodies being in synch.There have been many similarities recently. What this means is that I should immediately banish any thought of a "good" weigh in until Sat. morning!

Runner - Monday Jan 10, 2005

Weight: 113.5

Maintaining 113.5...and that's after a salty dinner and some extras before bedtime. I made it through dinner okay. I had a pulled BBQ pork sandwich, minus the bun. (I hate buns...what a waste of calories!) I also had about 8 french fries and gave the rest to my husband. I went about 5 years without eating a single french fry, and even now, I have a hard time eating them in moderation. So if I immediately give most of them to my husband, then I just enjoy the few ones left on my plate and I'm fine. But if I try to keep them on my plate and then give him the "leftover" ones, there will be no leftovers...because I'll eat them all! So when my food arrives, I immediately give my hubby the food that I know I don't NEED. I don't NEED an entire serving of french fries. I don't NEED the bun on my sandwich, which I don't like anyway. To eat it is to eat unwanted calories...and I'd rather eat calories that I ENJOY!

I had a small bowl of cereal and some pudding before bed...probably 500 calories, which is about 300 too many. So I'm back on track today! No more 500-calorie "snacks." In my book, 500 calories is a MEAL. I should be aiming for 200-calorie snacks.

So far so good today! Although I'm starting to feel a bit bloated again...ugh!

geevee on 01/10/2005:
Your strategy yesterday was the same I'd used the last time I went to a BBQ restaurant, but since I didn't have anyone to give the fries to, I told the waitress NOT to bring me any nor the bun. That's the only way. I didn't feel deprived at all.

My late evening snacks are around 200 cal. too, and that's with employing all kinds of lo-cal substitutions.

Except for the wine, I had a model day of eating yesterday, yet I, too, started to bloat in the evening and I'm up a pound this morning, which logically I shouldn't be. It doesn't make sense.

Runner - Saturday Jan 08, 2005

Weight: 113.5

I'm finally back to "normal," at least temporarily. My stomach still bloats quite easily at different points during the day. I have an appointment at a good hospital on Wednesday just to make sure it's not something serious. I feel better, anyway, so that's good.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with friends, so I plan to eat lightly all day until then. I want to enjoy a dinner out, not feel guilty the whole time. I hope they have some low-fat entrees, though...

breakaway on 01/08/2005:
Hey there! Hope that is nothing serious. Your still doing well it looks like. Just wanted to come in to say hi! Hope you have a great week! enjoy taht dinner.

geevee on 01/09/2005:
Hi Runner,

Well, we're both back on the "low" side again. Thank God! I was thinking of you yesterday when I realized it was the week-end and your low weight time of the week. And it was. Yea!

I'm sure you made good choices at the dinner last night. Having that appt. on Wed. will clear any worries you might have and hopefully end your current problems.

Runner - Friday Jan 07, 2005

Weight: 114.0

I was 118 and still very bloated when I went to bed last night...and was back to 114 after my run this morning. My stomach is still a bit bloated today. The part that worries me is that my lower abdomen is just hard...harder than normal. (And it's not because I've been doing a lot of stomach crunches!) :)

I know that it sounds like I could be pregnant, but I just don't know how that could be possible. I haven't had my period for several years. (Except when the doctors put me on birth control). I don't ovulate. (That I know of). My estrogen levels are low. So my husband and I have never had to use any sort of birth control because my chances of conceiving are very small.

Since I'm only 26, I haven't been in a hurry to have a baby, so the doctors have just told me, "Come back and see us when you're ready." It's hard to find a doctor that will take my medical situation seriously. They assume that my lack of periods is due to my running regimen...and being thin. Okay. Maybe. But I also have complications with my thyroid (I'm on medication), my pituitary gland, and my hypothalamus.

So.......instead of just ignoring the regular bloating, bruising, and those missed cycles, I have decided that it's time to get a thorough checkup. Trying to do that in Asia will be hard...but there are some good doctors here...I just have to find them!

Sorry to bore you with the details. It's just that this week has been really tough for me...I hate to see the scale go UP, UP, UP after working so hard to get down to 113 pounds! And to see 116.5 for a short time yesterday was frustrating! Because I've eaten soooo well this week. I've only baked once, and I've eaten very healthy foods. (With plenty of fiber, veggies, and fruits).

And being bloated is just downright uncomfortable!

Penguin_14 on 01/07/2005:
My thoughts are with you in finding the reason for your health problems. I wonder if any of the major hospitals in the U.S. have any type of referral service for where you live, i.e. a doctor studying in another country for a time, etc. It may be worth a try if you can't find a good doctor.

Don't worry about "boring" us with the details. When I was going through my health problems last year, it made it a little less scarey just writing it down here. Whatever is going on, we're all here to listen! Good luck and big hugs!

feeleebubs on 01/07/2005:
I'm glad that you've resolved to get a check up. It's tough when you can't find a good doctor who actually cares though. I've heard that even if you don't get your period, you can still ovulate. I don't know if that's the case for you, but that is what I have heard from someone who heard it from her doctor. I have also been bloated a lot recently and you are right, it's down right uncomfortable. When I was fatter, I never noticed when I was bloated, but now I can actually SEE my stomache sticking out like I'm 4 months pregnant or something.

geevee on 01/07/2005:
With the array of medical problems you have, it's no wonder you have the symptoms you do. I think your body is letting you know it's time to monitor your situation. Perhaps you only need a change in medication or dosage to improve it.

As for the tightness in your abdomen, I had something similar Christmas week that lasted 4 or 5 days. It was hard to explain and hardness or tightness were the only words I came up with to try and describe it. Then it passed and the knee acted up. There are so many strange ailments around nowadays that disappear as quickly as they appear. I hope your problem is just something minor like that and a passing annoyance.

lea on 01/08/2005:

Im glad you are going to get a check up its better being safe than sorry (English expresion) it will probably be nothing to worry about. Take care


Runner - Thursday Jan 06, 2005

Weight: 115.5

I haven't seen this number since early August. I actually saw 116.5 when I first got up this morning, but was "down" to 115.5 at lunchtime.

I am wracking my brain for reasons why I have gained weight. I can't think of any. I am eating under 2000 calories and exercising for at least 2 hours a day.

The worst part is that my lower belly is very bloated. I mean, it's a permanent thing at the moment. I've been bloated for 3 days. I thought it was salty food, but I've been drinking enough water and have cut back on the salt in the last 48 hours, so it shouldn't be that. Plus, I know my body. This bloating is not from food, I don't think.

I did some research on the Internet and freaked out when I read about Cushing's disease. I'm not saying that I have it, but I sure do have some of the symptoms: bloated abdomen, bruises easily, loss of hair, loss of menstrual cycle...

Does anyone know anything about this disease? I mean, I am bloated fairly regularly, but I usually think it's because I live in Asia and everything is salty here. But maybe it's more...I am worried that my menstrual cycle has stopped completely. I do wonder why I bruise so easily. And I'm tired of losing my hair!

Sorry to complain, but I'm just frustrated that I've "gained" four pounds in one week! It's just not possible, since I know that I haven't been overeating. Usually I can pinpoint where I go wrong, but not this time. I should go see a doctor, but they're all Chinese, and it's just not that easy.

Kerry79 on 01/06/2005:
Hi there! Thanks for the comment you left on my diary. I'm going to do it this time! (Not counting this past week...). I'm sorry you feel so rough at the moment - I hope you start to feel better soon or at least you can find out for sure what is wrong so that you can look at tackling it. You are doing great!

Kerry x

Kerry79 on 01/06/2005:
Hi there! Thanks for the comment you left on my diary. I'm going to do it this time! (Not counting this past week...). I'm sorry you feel so rough at the moment - I hope you start to feel better soon or at least you can find out for sure what is wrong so that you can look at tackling it. You are doing great!

Kerry x

Becca27 on 01/06/2005:
Hi Runner,

When was the last time you went to the Dr.? I've never heard of Cushing's disease. Could your symptoms be related to stress? How well are you eating? Do you take vitamins? Could you be pregnant? - too many questions. My recommendation is to see a Dr. It sounds like somethin' funky's goin' on! You know that you're not eating enough to gain weight! Keep that in mind.

geevee on 01/06/2005:
Hi Runner,

You whet my curiosity so I looked up Cushing's Disease/Syndrome. You mentioned having some of the symptoms but others you never did such as fatigue, weak muscles, high blood pressure and sugar levels, excess hair growth on the face, neck, chest and abdomen.

The site I found said that trained athletes have high levels of cortisol which causes all the problems. From what I understand, the adrenal glands go awry, sometimes from benign tumors or pituitary adenomas. Diagnosing cortisol levels sounds easy enough. I think you'd need to go to an endocrinologist. Finding out precisely what isn't working right is more than a GP is trained to do.

I'm wondering if that is Jason Giami's problem. He's the Yankee's big disappointment. A benign tumor in the pituitary gland was diagnosed.

If you can't find a specialist to your liking, and I'm sure it would be hard to find one who not only speaks English but also has all the other qualities we want in a doctor, and you decide to act on your own, maybe cutting back on the running might lower your cortisol levels. Maybe a regular GP could do that test to find out if your cortisol level is too high. If it is, then you can go on from there.

I used to belong to a TESOL group. I remember teachers in China needing a doctor or dentist would send out a plea for help. There's some sort of web site that lists English-speaking doctors in China, and I don't know if that also includes Taiwan.

Hair loss and lack of menstrual cycle is not the norm. Neither is bruising. I'd definitely look around for a doctor.

cowboy on 01/06/2005:
Try not to freak out about anything you read on the internet because it's just too much knowledge without a degree. Let everyone know if you find out anything.

Runner - Tuesday Jan 04, 2005

Weight: 114.5

Grrrrr...why am I having such a hard time? Why is the scale continuing to go UP? It just doesn't make sense. I ate fine yesterday. Sure, I had some Korean food, but I stuck to the kimchee, turnips, some beef, and two small pieces of a fried pancake thing. (I left the majority of it on the plate). Maybe I'm still bloated from the salt. I don't know. It just isn't fair sometimes! After running in the morning and walking to work, I ate well all day, worked out at the gym after work, and took an hour walk with my husband AFTER dinner! So why can't some of that exercise cancel out the few hundred extra calories I consumed at dinner?

Maybe my body is just too efficient. I really don't eat that many calories. I usually do the "volumetrics" thing, where I eat a lot of low-cal, healthy foods. I try to stay away from starchy things and sugar...although I'm not perfect. However, I exercise more than anyone I know. I walk everywhere. I'm constantly moving.

I need a drop in the scale! My brain is tired of seeing the number creep upwards!

geevee on 01/05/2005:
OH Runner,

You know you're not alone in this. We have the same problem, but mine recently is fully explainable with all the no-no's I've indulged in. You know you can resist pressure just so long, and three weeks minus a 4 day reprieve when Jim went to Orlando wasn't enough to save me from temptation. The MAIN difference, and what is crucial, is that I did have "some" control over my lapses. (only one slice of pizza, a small slice of cheesecake, 1/2C ice cream, small fries, ONE beer) It wasn't a matter of pigging out and gorging. That I was able to have a small amount and keep control was a good sign.

I'm going to miss my son but really, if he stayed much longer I'd surely gain ten pounds in no time at all. He's like a Jewish mother the way he offers me his goodies, like the wonderful bread he brought home from Wild Oats. To me it's like a piece of cake or pie. I even put butter on it. He's definitely a bad influence!

Tomorrow I'll be back to the monastic life and my carefully ordered diet. Maybe all of these unexpected goodies have stymied my body and it doesn't know how to handle it. Ho ho ho, right?

There will be no chocolate or nuts as snacks at night until I've finished doling out my 1/2C portions of Edy's Grand Ice Cream. (120cal.)

I checked out some more recorded books today to get me back on the machines.

Hang in there Runner. This weight fluctuation is the most confusing thing I've ever come across. Some days it just doesn't make any sense at all. You know after all this time you have to just accept it, ignore it and have the confidence that soon it will be back to normal. That seems to be the most realistic approach.

Runner - Tuesday Jan 04, 2005

Weight: 114.0

I'm still 114, I still don't feel good about it, and I'm still hungry. Aaargh!

It's not like I haven't eaten all day. Before breakfast, I ran for 50 minutes, and then I walked 20 minutes to work. Breakfast was 3 hard-boiled egg whites and about 2 cups of high-fiber cereal.

Lunch was steamed veggies with soy sauce, and an egg-white omelet with some ham and reduced-fat feta cheese. I also had 1/2 of a Dr. Soy protein bar. But I'm still hungry.

I have a meal out tonight, though, so I don't want to give in to the temptation to snack all afternoon. We're having Korean food, and since I'm not quite sure what that will entail, it may be another night where I come home fairly bloated and weighing more than normal due to the sodium retention.

I read an article in USA Today about how French women are thinner than most Americans due to their "enjoyment" of food. They don't eat as much processed food, and they take time to enjoy their meals. I try to do that, but it's hard, especially since I've trained my brain to count calories for 6 years now.

Critter Cop on 01/04/2005:
I've had Korean food with my karate school before, it's different, though I liked it. If you like Thai and oriental type foods you'll porbably find something you like. The meal we had had various 'things' including fried minnows. I was the daring one and tried a little of everything, including the Kimche (sp) which is basically fermented cabbage. I was told after the fact it works better if you mix it in with your food verses tasting each thing individually. Oh well, I'd do it again!

Thank you for the comment on my entry. I've found BFL now has rtd at my local Walmart and I really like the chocolate one. I tend to work at least one in a day.

Keep up the good work, a 50 minute run sounds GREAT!!

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