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Runner - Monday Mar 19, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

I didn't weigh myself this weekend.

I've been pretty sick on-and-off the last few days. It started with a high fever, and last night I was throwing up all night due to either a "bug" going around or some sort of food poisoning. All I know is that I've been miserable...and I leave for the U.S. on Thursday morning, so I need to feel better by then!

The only good news is that I haven't had an appetite AT ALL today...so have hardly eaten a thing. I've just been drinking tons of fluids...mostly water, but also some low-sugar sports drinks.

Justine6Robert3 on 03/19/2007:
Sorry your not feeling well hon! Keep drinking lots of water and get plenty of rest! I hope your feeling better soon:)

liza36 on 03/19/2007:
Sorry you've got the bug. Hope you feel better soon, especially for your trip.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/19/2007:
feel better...like justine says, get going with the liquids...they will help!

Runner - Wednesday Mar 14, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

I've been meaning to update, but this week has been really crazy. (as usual)

Monday was a good eating day...I think I stayed around 1300 calories, which is really good for me!

Tuesday was a bomb. I bet I had 1800 calories. At least 800 of them were in the form of candy. Pathetic. Someone gave me a huge bage of Easter Whoppers malted balls...and only 8 of them is 170 calories. I probably had 24 of them. But I gave the rest of them away so they're not a temptation anymore.

Wednesday was okay until I made a loaf of pumpkin chocolate chip bread for my co-workers and half of it fell apart coming out of the pan. Of course, that led to me trying a few bites, and then a few more bites. I mean, I didn't want to throw the broken part away! Ugh. What a mess.

I'm a dieting failure. Really, I always have huge goals and then can't follow through on them.

The worst part is that I felt very weak yesterday and had to get an EKG and some blood work done...my heart rate is only 42 bpm and I think the race screwed me up. (even though I jogged it! Man! Do I have to give up running forever?)

So I'm cutting back on the exercise, but since I can't seem to stick to 1200 calories, I'm NOT losing weight. And I leave for the U.S. in one week! I'm so embarrassed. I'm a full 5 pounds heavier than I was last summer...and 15 pounds heavier than I was 2 summers ago. It's noticeable, and I'm embarrassed.

Sorry this is so discouraging...I just wish I could get a handle on my diet. At least I've abstained from buying peanut butter in the last week. I don't even have it in my house!

borntocry on 03/14/2007:
Oh no, Runner! I'm so sorry that the race might have messed you up! Is it bad that your heart rate is so low? I always thought it was a good thing!

You know, I was thinking about you today... and I really think all hope is not lost. You find it hard to stick to 1200 calories now, because you work out so much. I've been finding it very hard as well lately, so I can empathise! But you know last year, when I had to give up running because of my knee, I actually LOST weight. Only a couple of pounds, and it may have been muscle mass (I certainly didn't think I looked any thinner), but then once I started exercising again, I lost even more. It was like it jumpstarted my metabolism, but I think it was only because it was such a drastic change from the reduced exercise I had been getting with my injured knee.

I really do think you will find it easier to keep the calories down, and in particular stay away from chocolate and candy, once you are exercising a little less. It makes sense for your body to crave calorie-dense sources of energy now because you have higher energy needs. I have been feeling the same way since my half-marathon. I just can't resist the cereal!

borntocry on 03/15/2007:
Hi Runner! I guess I logged off before I saw your comment yesterday. Thanks for your advice on my calorie estimates at the restaurant. I've been estimating 150 calories for the lotus buns, but the taro cakes are different - they're bigger, and they're fried. They're not sweet, you know... they're kind of like stuffed pancakes, fried on both sides. So I've estimated them at 300 calories each, though I don't know how accurate that is.

And thanks also for your advice on the race!! Yes, I am leaning more and more towards the Luxembourg race. I might do as you suggest and not train too hard for it. After all, I won't be able to improve much between now and then, and it's in a foreign country where I won't know the course at all. So maybe I could just go into it with no expectations - just for fun! My knees are still kind of sore every now and then, but I've kind of given up on them. They didn't get any better after all those months off last year, but they also don't seem to get much worse from running, so I figure I might as well keep running. I've just been running every other day, but that probably doesn't really make much of a difference either.

Maybe I'll see if I can wait until after my husband's semi-finals to sign up for the race...

borntocry on 03/15/2007:
Well, I just checked and it turns out that I'm already in the highest price bracket to register for the race, which kind of sucks, but the good news is that I have until a few days after my husband's semi-finals to do it! And that will still leave me almost a month to get in a couple of long runs before the race!

Thanks, Runner! This will give me something to focus on instead of how much I'm going to pig out with my family here! Also, it will give me added incentive not to pig out too much, because if I do run the race I don't want to do it with an extra 5 lb of weight to carry!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/16/2007:
you are, by all means, NOT a dieting failure. if anything, you set very high expectations for yourself! Sometimes, we cannot simply follow through with expectations we set! I know that is EXTREMELY the case with myself! However, as humans, many of us are high achievers! Don't be down on yourself! Some days will just not follow the pattern like others, just plan on more positive, good days...than those not so easily forgotten, less desirable days!

Runner - Sunday Mar 11, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

Well, I've decided to really stick to 1200 calories every day for the next week and a half until I go to the U.S. If I can't lose weight on that kind of diet, then I'm really hopeless!

Like BTC, I also ran in a half-marathon race this past weekend. But due to my strange breathing problems and other things, I decided to take it much slower than normal, which added about 15-18 minutes onto my normal half-marathon time. The weather was terribly crummy...rainy, windy, and cold. I didn't feel like competing at all...which is a first for me! I think I'm done with racing for good. In fact, I'm going to really cut back on my running. It's taken too much of a toll on my body, and I'm going to do the right thing for once.

I'm going to eat right and exercise right and hope that one of the days, the scale moves in MY favor. If it doesn't, I think I'll have to stop posting for awhile...because I get too jealous when everyone else is losing weight and I'm not! :)

borntocry on 03/12/2007:
Yay, Runner!! I was wondering if you had decided to do your race! I really hoped you would, but I didn't want to try to persuade you because I wanted you to do what you felt was right for you. I'm glad you took it slower than usual, but maybe that's why you didn't enjoy it as much. It probably isn't much fun for you to run so much slower than you're used to. No wonder you didn't feel like competing - you probably felt like you were hardly competing at that pace!

Thanks so much for the encouraging comments on my own performance. You made me feel so much better about my time! I really beat your husband?! I know he's a sporty guy - so maybe I'm not that terrible after all!

I actually feel pretty good today - better than I did after my other races. Although right after the race I swore I would never run again! It was so hot. Who would have thought it would be cold and rainy for you, and boiling hot for me? I wasn't used to running under those conditions, and I was seriously dehydrated. I know you don't want to hear any excuses, but think about it - I drank a cup of coffee in the morning, and then ran for two hours in the middle of the afternoon with the sun blazing down from a cloudless sky. I was drenched with sweat and caked with salt when I finished, and then I had just a few sips of water before I weighed myself when I got home!

Oh and I had to tell you this: you know what there was to eat after the race? Shawarma! Greasy meat and fries! And we had to pay for it, too! (Not that anyone seemed remotely interested!)

So what now? Should we cut back on the running? I guess we can always go back to it later, if we want. That's the good thing about running - it's not really like a skilled sport where one can forget how to do it if it's been a while! I don't have any other half-marathons on the agenda, but I guess I share your fears about being unable to maintain my weight without running. Really, I don't have any plans to keep losing (and the way I've been eating this weekend, there's not much chance of that!) but you know no-one ever wants to see the scale go up!

I think I'm also going to try to get in a few 1200-calorie days this week, to make up for this weekend, and see how that goes!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/12/2007:
congrats on your running!!! you don't have to end running completely. maybe see what other sport you can do in place of running...or, the elliptical machine is much less stressful on joints and bones!

GG on 03/13/2007:
Wow, Congrats on doing the 1/2 marathon even with poor breathing problems! And I am impressed that you faced it with that crappy weather, you're a lot stronger than I am! haha! I hope you do stick to you diet!! You said you wanted to know more about my diet so I will let you in on it and see if you want to adopt some of it...Surprisingly there are a lot of foods I do eat and I explore my options a lot by going on a lot of different websites that ship to my door and just explore the isles in grocery stores(Wild Oats & Whole Foods are THE BEST!!!) So yes, I do eat meat and veggies: but I do not eat fatty meats (beef..unless it is grass fed, pork, lamb, etc.) but I do eat: chicken breast, ALL FISH, ostrich, bison(grass fed),& turkey..As for veggies I eat them all except for the starchy ones like potatos, carrots, peas, corn, etc...but there are so many different veggies that I do eat and there is such a variety of ways to cook them with MULTIPLE herbs! If you want I can give you some recipes, just let me know! Oh and where are you right now, because you say you're coming back to the US?? Hope you had fun!

borntocry on 03/14/2007:
How is it going, Runner?

Runner - Wednesday Mar 07, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

Yes, I do need a diet overhaul. Even though I try to stick to all healthy foods, I do goof up, and today I had some chocolate cake and peanuts. It's just really hard to always say "no" when I'm faced with food temptations. I guess with my job, and being around a lot of people all day, food temptations abound. It's very difficult to plan out every meal and every snack, because things just come up so quickly, and before I know it, someone is taking me out to lunch or offering me something good to eat. And if I'm hungry, I usually want to eat it.

Anyway...I'm really busy right now, but I want to make sure that I don't eat because I'm stressed out. I leave for the U.S. in 2 weeks, and if I could just lose 2 pounds before then, I'd be soooo happy.

I wish I had the desire to do a detox diet...or a juice fast...but I need my strength and energy and really can't do something that might make me feel tired or lethargic. Plus, I'm not in the mood to just lose 2 pounds of water weight and then gain it back when I start eating normally again.

borntocry on 03/08/2007:
Hmmm. I read the comment you left me, and I have to say, I don't think I would lose weight on 1500-1800 calories a day. I know, I know, you work out for 3 hours a day and according to most estimates you're burning 600-1200 calories through exercise, but I think we just have to conclude that your body is too accustomed to exercise. If I'm not mistaken, you work out every day and have rarely taken time off because of injury or illness - which is great! But maybe your body is just really used to it now. I think the reason I lost a few pounds training for this half-marathon is that I hadn't been running for several months before that, because of my knee. I'm not advising you do the same (because to be honest, it was pretty depressing) but just trying to think of some explanation for this phenomenon.

And I do understand how hard it is for you to have people bringing treats to work and taking you out for meals all the time. My old co-workers were like that and it was really tough for me too. Really, you should never commend me for my will-power - I'm just lucky I don't have much by way of temptation! I think you're the one with the will-power if you're even able to maintain your weight under those circumstances! Look how much weight I always gain on my trips to America or even my weekends in London, look how much weight geevee gained over the holidays. Well, with your work environment it's like you're always on holiday! That would be a killer for me!

If I were you, I would try to get in a couple of 1200-calorie days a week, especially after a slightly higher-calorie day involving a meal out or some other indulgence. I know you work out a lot and it sucks that you should have to do this. You're right, it's really unfair.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/10/2007:
we can't be very good every day. there has to be some room for us to eat anything/everything we like. to make you feel better, i just ate 2,352 calories for breakfast! talk about trying to balance that out!

Runner - Friday Mar 02, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

Well, my weight certainly isn't down. It may even be up a little, but it's hard to tell on those weight room scales.

It's also hard not to get discouraged. I feel like i had a good week with food and exercise...but I still can't lose a pound. I've been trying to lose weight for a year and a half and still don't have anything to show for all my hard work. I can hardly maintain my weight, either!

Sometimes this really bothers me, and other times I just don't care about it. There are more important things in life, and i'm constantly reminded of that. But I have my moments when I want to just see a half-pound loss and feel okay about myself again.

borntocry on 03/03/2007:
I'm sorry, Runner. Maybe you should try something more drastic. What happened about the low-fat diet which you said had worked for you in the past? Or what about a low-carb diet? Those seem to have such incredible results, especially at the beginning, and you're only looking to lose a couple of pounds so you wouldn't have to do it for very long.

Don't be too jealous of my ability to "bounce back" from high weigh-ins. You know, I let myself get really dehydrated most of the time and I'm sure that's why my weight goes down. I don't drink anything after a long run until I've weighed myself first, so I can get the lowest possible reading. I know how crazy that must sound, but it's true...

Oh and I loved the M'n'Ms, by the way! You were so right about them!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/03/2007:
Hi runner! we all go through our stages where we feel really confident about ourselves...and then when we just don't. That is normal for human beings, I believe. I haven't been weighing myself, because it leads to eating fests - especially when my weight goes down I feel like I can eat and eat and eat. I weighed myself this morning, and it was around 110. Then, I automatically went on an eating spur.

GG on 03/04/2007:
Run by me again what your diet consists of and together we can combat the problems! If you feel you are doing great with your food and excersice but not losing any weight, you should reevaluate everything...a complete over-hall is in ORDER! Let me know if you want some help!

borntocry on 03/05/2007:
Runner, you said you rarely go over 1800 calories a day. But how many calories do you average? I have been keeping track of my daily calories for almost a year now, and I only lose weight if my average is well under 1500. Look at GG's diary - she doesn't go over 900!

Runner - Saturday Feb 24, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

I'm back!

I had a fantastic time in Hawaii...it was so beautiful there, and the weather was perfect. I got a nice tan, too, which always makes me feel better about myself! Somehow I feel thinner with a tan. Anyway, I'm NOT thinner, since I weighed myself at the gym today, but I'm not heavier, either! I'm the same exact weight I was 3 weeks ago. And since I've been on vacation and eating out a lot, I guess I should be happy that I didn't gain any weight.

However, I am a tad bit disappointed, because I was pretty careful while on vacation and made sure that I got plenty of exercise and ate healthy foods when I did eat out. My weight just won't budge. Oh, well. I don't feel too badly about it. While in Hawaii, I realized that I'm not as "fat" as I feel...there were plenty of women who were bigger than I am, and I just needed to get outside of Asia for a bit to see that. It's not like I'm always comparing myself to others, but I did feel better when I saw that most of the people on the beach DIDN'T have perfect bodies.

There was a time when I was the girl with the perfect body, but now my stomach hangs out and my butt is a little too big and I just don't feel all that great about carrying around a 15-pound weight gain. But I need to face reality, and the reality is that if I eat the wrong foods, I WILL gain weight, and if I eat healthily, I shouldn't. So...here's to many healthy, low-calorie days ahead of me! I need to limit my meals out, limit my sugar intake, and stay away from fatty foods. It's the same old thing every day, but I'd really like to lose at least 2 or 3 pounds before I go back to the U.S. again in a month (for a wedding!), so I'm more motivated than ever.

I have a lot of catching up to do on all your entries...time for me to quit writing so I can do a little reading! :)

mylifechanges on 02/24/2007:
weddings always provide such great determination don't they! :) Haha. I think it's great...I'm working my weight down for two weddings this summer too (well moreso for health, but the weddings sure help me to keep going!)

I'm glad that you had a great time in Hawaii! I know you must have had so much fun! And CONGRATS on not gaining any weight while you were on vacation. Not- THAT'S an accomplishment! :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/24/2007:
Listen, be proud of yourself! You were on vacation, got good exercise, improved your perception of yourself and didn't gain weight while there!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/24/2007:
Listen, be proud of yourself! You were on vacation, got good exercise, improved your perception of yourself and didn't gain weight while there!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/24/2007:
welcome back!

borntocry on 02/25/2007:
Hey Runner! You're back! I'm glad you had such a great time in Hawaii. And got to compare yourself with some less-than-perfect physiques for once. You probably feel the same way in Asia as I do around my cousin. I had been feeling so great about myself until she showed up! Then all of a sudden I found myself stealing glances at our reflection in mirros and shop windows and noticing how I always seem to look so hippy and bulky in comparison to her. She is like a little sea monkey!

sweetpea1977 on 03/02/2007:
Welcome Home. Sounds like you had a fabulous time. Im so glad you got to see what most Americans look like. We are nothing like the perfectly thin Asians you, an American, see every day at home. Keep us in mind the next time you start feeling bad about your appearance. :o)

What part of Georgia will you be in? Just curious! At least you will miss all the cold dreary weather we had all February!! It should be very pretty here when you arrive.

Umpqua on 03/02/2007:
Welcome back and I'm glad you had a good time AND maintained your weight. That's a challenge on a vacation and certainly one that I have trouble meeting!

Runner - Wednesday Feb 14, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

I leave for Hawaii in one hour...am checking my e-mail on the free computers in the airport.

Good news---I found a nice, cute, and modest bathing suit. (which covers my tummy nicely)

I wish I were about 5 pounds lighter so I'd feel better about myself.

But I'm going enjoy this trip with my husband and parents! Life is too short to spend all my free time worrying about my big butt. I refuse to let myself wallow in self-pity. It's time for an attitude change.

borntocry on 02/15/2007:
Yeah! Have a GREAT time!

geevee on 02/15/2007:
What a wonderful place to go! You can smell the fragrance of all the flowers in the air. My son Billy was stationed there when he was in the Marines and has such great memories of it. You'll have such a nice time! Enjoy

greengirl on 02/15/2007:
Hope you have a wonderful time. Wish I was going too LOL!!!

leeumom on 02/15/2007:
Have fun. What island are you going to? We went in 87 and went to Maui. You should be able to get your water in there! Have fun.

mylifechanges on 02/15/2007:
wow- have a great time!! I'm sure you don't even need to be told that! :) I know you'll have a blast!

GG on 02/16/2007:
Big butt? Covering Tummy? Last time I checked you were at a nice steady sexy weight! Do not give me this: that you need to cover up! I bet you look amazing and I am sure your husband thinks the same! Have a great time and remember getting a nice glow always makes people look 10x slimmer: not that you need it!

sweetpea1977 on 02/23/2007:
Hey Runner,

I hope you're having a nice time in Hawaii! Cant wait to hear all the details when you get back! :o)

Runner - Saturday Feb 10, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

I didn't weigh myself yesterday...I couldn't! I leave for Hawaii in 4 days, and I couldn't bear to see the scale either stuck at the same number or (worse yet) UP even more!

I've been eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough, and yet I don't feel one ounce thinner. Why is losing weight so hard for me?

The worst part is that I don't think my awesome 2-piece bathing suit fits me well anymore. I bought it in May, and it was a little tight then. That was about 8 pounds ago. I don't think I can wear a 2-piece again...unless I want my stomach hanging out of it! I need to buy a new bathing suit before I leave!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/10/2007:
if you really don't like the fit of your original bathing suit, it would be best for you to buy one that you feel good in! it will boost your confidence! be proud of yourself for sticking with your routine!

borntocry on 02/11/2007:
There you are! I was wondering if you had already left for Hawaii.

You know, maybe this trip to Hawaii is just what you need... unlike the rest of us, you actually tend to lose weight on holiday, don't you?

Thanks for your comment. As to whether I prefer to starve all the time and lose weight, or eat enough to feel satisfied and maintain my weight, I guess either is fine by me. Unfortunately the choice seems to be starving all the time and maintaining, or eating enough to feel satisfied and gaining!

geevee on 02/11/2007:
I haven't dared to try on my Speedo since I gained my 8 pounds over the holidays. I don't know how I could possiblyget into it now and don't want to confirm what I know to be true. Speedo's are unforgiving.

greengirl on 02/11/2007:
I wish I was leaving for hawaii any time soon!!! Hope you have a great time :)

smiley2 on 02/13/2007:
Enjoy your holiday, have a fab time :)

Runner - Tuesday Feb 06, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

I feel like I've been so good lately. And yet there's not even a hint of a drop on the scale.

I made a ton of food for a Superbowl party that we hosted at our place last night...but since it was "guys only," I left as soon as all the food was out, and came back after everyone was gone. That kept me from eating junk food all night...I only had small bites of things as I was cleaning up.

I really wanted to lose a pound or two this past weekend. It's discouraging when I feel like I'm doing everything RIGHT.

borntocry on 02/06/2007:
Oh, Runner, I hope you do lose a little weight soon! Hopefully it's just taking a while to show. I was in the same situation a few months ago where I was really doing well with both diet and exercise, and yet my weight never seemed to shift. Then all of a sudden I managed to lose a few pounds. So I hope that's the case for you, too.

Thanks for the comment you left me. Here's the recipe for the baked brie:


It calls for frozen puff pastry but I didn't want to buy a whole package (because I knew I'd end up eating it all at some point), so that's why I decided to make it myself. If you're interested, I used this recipe for the pastry:


(I obviously scaled it down quite a bit - to 3 oz of flour and butter instead of 40!).

Donkey on 02/06/2007:
It can be very discouraging to "be good" and yet see no change in the scale. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I kinda had the same feeling this morning stepping on the scale. Is dieting worth it if I don't see lower numbers? Hmm...

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/06/2007:
i remember you had one high day or so...maybe your body just has to rid itself of the waste. not to be graphic, or anything! lol. sometimes it takes 3 days. you're doing great! :)

GG on 02/08/2007:
What did you make for the super bowl festivities? Did your team win? And what have you been eating lately that you consider good? It takes a lot of evaluations to actually find "good" food, as I AM SURE YOU ALREADY KNOW! ha ha! I know how you feel about weight being discouraging but, DONT GIVE UP because I wouldnt want to see your weight sky-rocket!!! hang in there!

Runner - Thursday Feb 01, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

So....the banquet wasn't seafood after all. It was all kinds of meat...and other things. I ate because everyone else was eating...but didn't overdo it. I had already overdone it earlier in the day.

Man, today I feel SO FAT. It's just one of those days!

borntocry on 02/01/2007:
<br>Hi Runner,

Oh, I know how you feel. I have those fat days too, and sometimes they have nothing to do with how much I weigh!

Sounds like you did quite well at the banquet, however. It was probably good that you didn't go into it starving - that's always dangerous!

Thanks so much for your advice on my restaurant situation. It made a world of sense! I realised that I was looking at it from a totally wrong perspective. In fact, the restaurant itself isn't the problem - I never even eat that much there! But because I assume that the whole day is going to be a waste, I allow myself to pig out on snacks and cereal at home afterwards. And there's really no need for that! Surely I can learn how to enjoy a weekly date with my husband, as you put it, and work it into my diet instead of using it as an excuse to blow it?

I also really like your suggestion of talking to my husband about food, without using the word "diet". He's been talking about wanting to eat healthier himself lately, so I think there is a chance he'll understand! And that would make meal times so much less stressful for me. Wow, Runner, you're solving all my problems today!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/01/2007:
Hi runner, I am sorry today is not your day. I've been having those "fat" days as well. And, everytime I feel a little better, I go and binge again! I'be been having this cycle of binge/restrict for the entire month of January!

weightlossyoyo on 02/04/2007:
It'll be okay, we all have those days we feel FAT. It will pass. You can't be good every day, we have to live. As long as you know it is not an everyday thing you'll be alright.

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