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Runner - Sunday Jan 02, 2005

Weight: 114.0

Okay, I'm not off to a very good start this New Year. I actually saw 115 when I first woke up this morning. It could be sodium retention from my dinner last night (dim sum), but maybe it's not. I really was hoping not to see the number on the scale go up because I don't feel like I deserve it.

I did eat out last night, but I didn't overdo it by any means, and I ate well all day long. I've been avoiding the candy and sweets and getting plenty of exercise. So why is it that during the Christmas holidays I actually LOST a pound (while eating plenty of goodies), but when I come home and start being disciplined, I GAIN a pound?

I will never understand my body. It is so strange. Sometimes I just want to throw the scale out the window, but I can't. I'm so used to weighing myself daily, that I just take the fluctuations as they come, but sometimes (like today), I get more frustrated because I wonder if I will ever be able to enjoy a meal out without instantly "gaining" a pound overnight.

Becca27 on 01/03/2005:
Hi Runner,

Happy New Year! I'm glad you're safe and sound over there. We've been keeping up with the news and you've been in my thoughts and prayers. It's tragic and heartbreaking to hear of so much devastation. We have no idea sitting over here... I read your post from last week regarding how insignificant it makes your struggles with food seem. I often struggle with the same thing. When I hear of or witness suffering of any kind and truly reflect on how most of the world lives, I am often ashamed at my own obsessions. I'm just trying to live my best life, though, and for some reason, like you, I fight a battle every day with food and my mind.

I think that your "gain" is the sodium, and you probably know that, too.

Have a wonderful day! .... Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way! (Dr. Seuss)

geevee on 01/03/2005:
I feel the same way with my scale at 127 this morning! I am in dangerous territory when I'm above 125.

Runner - Friday Dec 31, 2004

Weight: 114.0


Since I'm 12 hours ahead of most of you, it's already New Year's Day...10am in the morning, to be exact! And the rest of you are probably up ringing in the new year!

I was pretty bummed to be back to 114 this morning...I was so hoping to see 112.5 for January 1! Well, I snacked too much yesterday and indulged in too many goodies, so I shouldn't be surprised. Funny how I was so disciplined for the week that I was away and then went right back to old habits as soon as I got home! Well, it's a new year, and I plan to start it off right. Time to get back on track! Even one day with no discipline in my eating can wreck havoc on my weight maintenance.

Have any of you ever tried a Stroopwafle? A friend who visited the Netherlands gave me some...they are basically a buttery-waffle cookie with carmel in the middle. Warmed up, they are absolutely heavenly. Since Wednesday night, I've eaten 5 of them. I have one left in my fridge that I will probably eat today, and then I won't be tempted by them anymore. They are way too good, but probably very high in calories. The nutrition data isn't listed on the package, but they taste way too good to be low-cal.

Soon2BThin on 12/31/2004:
I'm sure glad they don't have those "Stroopwafles" here. They sound too good! Happy New Year to you!

geevee on 01/01/2005:
My weak-willed excuse for eating a third Lindt chocolate last night was that it would finish the box and that would be that! But still I KNOW I have two big bags of M&M's plus a box of Pot 'o Gold chocolates, all of which I couldn't resist because of the sale price. I just can't open them. Once I do, it starts.

fatbabychick on 01/02/2005:
Runner I appreciate ure comment but I would walk outside but it is freezing outside


Runner - Thursday Dec 30, 2004

Weight: 113.0

Well, I actually LOST 1/2 a pound....according to my scale! I'm back to 113. Yea! I hope that I can get back to 112.5 now. I love being at 112.5. That makes me feel great! But one day at a time...I know how long it takes to lose 1/2 a pound, especially since I have a hard time cutting out my "treats" and "snacks."

The main thing is that I didn't GAIN weight over Christmas break. Saying "no" to those extra treats was totally worth it! It really was! I don't regret not having seconds...nothing tastes as good as being thin feels! Now if I can just resist those chocolates in the freezer...

geevee on 12/31/2004:
All right! You did it! Simply maintaining would have been a success but you even lost a half pound on the road which shows that you really have your diet and eating habits under control.

Runner - Thursday Dec 30, 2004

Weight: 113.5

I'm back home! It's been a full week since I've weighed myself on MY scale...so tomorrow morning will be THE DAY...I'll keep you posted! I think I did very well, except for today. I was taken out for lunch and didn't have much control over the food I was served. To make matters worse, I've just been HUNGRY all day. So as I finish my sugar-free chocolate pudding with some peanut butter mixed in, I'm hoping the extra calories I've consumed in the last 8 hours don't wreck havoc on the scale tomorrow.

Runner - Tuesday Dec 28, 2004

Weight: 113.5

Well, aside from a big (but healthy) meal last night, the last couple of days have been fairly easy, as I've been able to plan my own meals. So I'm still "on the road," but I'm doing okay. I managed to work out in a weight room tonight and my weight at 8:00pm was 116 pounds. That's normal. I'm usually between 116-117 at nighttime and down to 114 or so by morning. So hopefully I haven't GAINED anything.

Anyway, weight is so trivial when I consider the fact that 30,000 people have lost their lives here in Asia. I don't know if the news in the U.S. is covering the tsunamis, but it's non-stop here. And I knew people who were there...who managed to escape. It's so scary! What a catastrophe. It makes my weight worries seem unbelivably insignificant!

geevee on 12/28/2004:
Good going! It's so comforting to know that I'm not the only one who weighs more than once a day. My evening weight ranges from 126-129 like it was last night. I wondered how it could possibly get down to 125 today, but it did! What irks me is when it's 126 at night and I get the false hope of 124 in the morning but no. It's not to be and only gets down to 125 again. For me, 125 is a real hurdle. My body is so resistent to getting below that weight. You've mentioned your last 8lbs. and how it took a long time to lose them. What plateau were you on and how long did you struggle to break it?

Runner - Sunday Dec 26, 2004

Weight: 113.5

Going on four days without my scale...so scary! Each day, I've had at least one BIG meal...and although I've done my best not to overeat, it's still been hard not to consume more calories than I usually do. One day of that kind of eating normally doesn't hurt me, but when I start eating an excess of calories over a period of several days, then I'm guaranteed a weight gain!

So I wish I had my scale around. It keeps me accountable. It keeps me honest. It keeps me sane!

Four more days on the road...can I handle it? I hope so!

geevee on 12/26/2004:
You are so aware of the pitfalls you face, and are so careful I'm sure you'll get through this challenge. If you weigh the same when you get home, I'd consider that a success.

I find it helpful to note the overweight people around me and watch what they are eating. That really encourages me not to eat. I go through that whole mental thing and quickly lose interest in wanting to eat. Of course I imagine it's hard for you to find such body types in China! All that awful oil at every meal helps, I'm sure.

Can you imagine waking up at 8am on Christmas Day to smell a turkey dinner and watch your son wolfing down a FULL plate of meat, overly rich potatoes w/gravy, cranberry sauce..Ugghhh! Then there was the mid-day meal which was just as large as the first one, and finally a third at dinner time. I had no desire at all to eat until evening when I had smaller portions of leftovers. There's not much left at all. Thank God!

becca27 on 12/28/2004:
Hi Runner,

I've been thinking of and praying for you these last few days. I know that the Tsunami affected areas of Taiwan, and I hope that you and your loved ones are safe.

Runner - Friday Dec 24, 2004

Weight: 113.5

Still no idea on my weight...but it's probably better that way.

Today was okay, but it was still more than I would normally eat. I got a 50-minute run in before breakfast, and managed to eat my normal breakfast. Lunch was a very big ham dinner. My only indulgences were the sweet potatoes and a piece of pumpkin pie. I gave my hubby the crust when no one was looking. Otherwise, I mainly ate salad, veggies, and two pieces of ham.

Dinner was harder...my host had very good pumpkin bread that was so moist I was sure it was loaded with oil. When I asked for her recipe (to see if my intuition was correct), I saw that one loaf requires 1/2 cup of oil. Yikes! That's almost 1000 calories alone! And THAT, my dear dieters, is why I use applesauce instead of oil! Or I just don't make bread at all!

Ah, well. I'm surviving. If I can pass up the snacks before bedtime, I'll be okay for today. I hope! Without a scale, I just never know!

geevee on 12/24/2004:
I never pass up an opportunity to get on a scale either, knowing full well that the scale will be different than mine. I learned the hard was that I have to weigh every day or I go astray.

Sweet potatoes aren't that bad. I eat them rather than white potatoes. I've even learned to enjoy them without butter, and I LOVE butter.

I just realized that part of my weight spike is due to the 10lb. smoked ham I bought. No wonder!

You should have seen me at 2am. I woke up and like a zombie went straight to the freezer. That Key Lime pie was a magnet. It's gone now. It was about half the size of a regular slice, but still, much too rich!

Runner - Thursday Dec 23, 2004

Weight: 113.5

I don't know why I bothered to type the 1/2 pound loss, as it will be back to 114 or higher tomorrow morning, but I was pleased to see that number for a short time anyway.

Today I faced the biggest temptation of the season: The Staff Christmas Party. Living in Asia, it is very hard to find good American food...but we had it today in abundance! IN addition to the mashed potatoes (which I avoided), all kinds of meat, rolls (which I also skipped), and a large variety of desserts, they had a great selection of sushi! So instead of filling up a plate with hot food, I opted for some great sushi, including pepper-crusted tuna. Yum! I also tried some nice salads and had only a bite or two of actual hot food.

So I was pleased with my eating there. And even though I splurged and enjoyed some cake and cheesecake and ice cream for dessert, I limited my portions to not more than 1/2 a piece of cake and only 1 scoop of ice cream. Last year, I pigged out at this event and felt sick afterwards. This year, I managed to walk away satisfied, but not feeling too guilty.

It would have been very hard to pass up those desserts completely, and since they're such a treat, I allowed myself the indulgence. The only bummer is that I can't really eat my own dinner, as we are now guests at a home and I'm subjected to whatever my host makes for dinner.

I'll be on the road for a week. This will be hard. But I can do it! I gain inspiration from many of you who also face food temptations every day. My biggest challenge is simply not to overeat. Not to take seconds and thirds. Just to eat until I'm satisfied and to eat slowly. I can do this. I will do this! I will NOT gain 5 pounds over the holidays. The food just isn't worth it!

Borntocry, we do miss you! We're eagerly awaiting your return! :)

legcramps on 12/23/2004:
You typed in your 113.5 for the same reason I typed in my 139.5. If it's short-lived, at least we prooved that it DID live.

Those darn treats will be the death of us yet. I'm having the same problems you are, and I have a feeling that if I let it, it will get worse before it gets better.

Merry Christmas - have a great weekend!

geevee on 12/23/2004:
I would have handled the party in the same way that you did. We don't deny ourselves but set limits as to what we eat. It's the only way. It's a lifetime plan. I KNOW that!

sarahpecan on 12/28/2004:
um dude your 113 lbs? please! why the heck are you even on here your makin a fool of yourself

Runner - Tuesday Dec 21, 2004

Weight: 114.0

Well, my weight stayed the same today, even after the fudge incident. It shouldn't have done too much damage, as I had about 2 hours of exercise yesterday. You'd think I could afford to eat a few pieces of fudge, but I really can't. Those extra calories add up so quickly!

Tonight I have a Christmas party. Since I'm partly in charge of the food, I have to make smart choices on what to bring. I'm going to Costco soon to buy some desserts since they do a good job and I don't have the discipline to bake them myself at the moment. I really, really want to try their caramel apple pie, but I'm not going to buy it. If the Chinese don't like it, I'll end up eating most of it.

So I'm going to buy something that I normally don't enjoy so I don't end up overeating. My life will go on if I never eat a piece of that tempting caramel apple pie. And I sure don't need the extra calories right now! I have a week "on the road" ahead of me and I need as much discipline now as I've ever needed!

geevee on 12/22/2004:
As a kid I made fudge and loved it! It's so easy to gorge on the stuff, so bringing something you don't really like is a great idea for the party. That's why I opt for fresh fruit, and lo-cal eggs at Christmas and Thanksgiving. I did make that sloppy looking but delicious Key Lime pie though which I finished at 2am this morning. Over a 3 night period I ate the equivalent of one normal slice of pie. It sure helped me go back to sleep, one of my problems when I wake up. I have to make room in the freezer for the doggie bags I'll have in two days!

Oh, you and Jim would have a ball baking!

I heard from BTC! Check out her comment on my 12/21 entry. She'll be back is the good news. I'm wondering how she got up to the 7th floor of her building with her injured leg, if she's working or stuck in the apt. I suppose her tall, strong husband carried her up.

You'll do well at the party, I'm sure.

Maria7 on 12/22/2004:
oh my....last year at our annual church Christmas banquet, we had caramel apple pie...it was the FIRST time I ever tried any...well, I haven't forgotten it...YUM!!!!!!!!! is all I can say...this year we didn't have it and I sure did miss it! Also, when I go to the grocery store, they have fudge in little see-through baskets right beside the checkout counter...I've looked at them and thought about them, too, hehehe!

Runner - Tuesday Dec 21, 2004

Weight: 114.0

I come today hanging my head in shame. I waited until tonight to write an entry, and I thought about skipping it completely...but I can't. This journal is for failures as well as successes, and part of the reason I've kept the weight off for 6 years is because I've been honest about my failures.

I just ate probably 700 calories of fudge. Fudge that I made. Fudge that was supposed to be a gift for other people. But my sweet tooth took over and I just started eating it. Honestly, I don't know how I can eat so many sweets in one sitting. I felt the "binge monster" start to take over and had to get out of the kitchen before I got too out-of-control.

That is why I cannot bake goodies that I like so much. Because it's almost always a disaster for me. And I had done SO well up to this point. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were good and healthy...and then I lose it at 8:30pm while I'm "cutting up the fudge" for other people. Yeah, right. I was cutting it up so I could sample it...more than once, that's for sure!

I know that most people don't even want to report in to their Diet Diary during the Christmas season, but I just can't stop for two weeks and allow myself to "go wild." I have learned the hard way that I have to stay disciplined. I have to! I can treat myself to things, but I CAN'T start baking those trigger foods!

Like Becca, I just need to give up sugar completely. Man, it would be so hard, but I'm sure my body would thank me for it every day!

garlic on 12/21/2004:
I've given up sugar. It's been 15 months since I have eaten any sugar whatsoever. And, I tell you, it's true - the cravings do disappear. Once you get the sugar out of your system, your system isn't screaming for it!!! Makes things a bit more peaceful when making food choices.

geevee on 12/21/2004:
I was a real sugar-holic as a child. Every spare penny I had went for goodies. I couldn't get enough. I think my taste buds were "re-focused" in college where I lost my taste for Pepsi and changed it for beer, which is what moderated my desire for sweets. I love(d) the carbs but not the sweetness. It still holds true. FORTUNATELY!

The funny thing is, that watching my son overindulge the way he does, is such a good example to me of what I SHOULDN'T do! It's almost a godsend. I had no qualms today at all telling him when he asked how I liked that cake he and the kiddies made, "I did taste it Jim, but it was too sweet for me." End of discussion.

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