- Monday Dec 20, 2004
My time at 113 was short-lived. Although I had a salty dinner at 9pm and felt a bit bloated this morning, the gain is an ever-present reminder of how diligent I need to be.
Geevee---your comments were right on target! You know exactly how it feels to try to maintain a low weight. Honestly, it was much easier for me when I was 150 pounds and losing 1-2 pounds a week. All I had to do was keep exercising and eat a little less and I was losing weight. But now that I've reached my target weight and have been running for 6 years, I have to be more disciplined than ever.
(Exercise alone doesn't do it for me anymore...I took my heart rate the other day after 40 minutes of running, and it was only 120. My body is extremely efficient. My resting heart rate is 40; I burn far less calories than the average person during a 50-minute run, even though my pace is fast).
Each morsel I put in my mouth has the potential to create a weight "excess," not "deficit," which is what I would prefer! So I have to think about everything...and when I become lazy, I pay for it.
I'm giving myself this pep talk because it's very hard this week to pass up treats. Someone brought in some peanut-candy things (which are a real treat here!) and I enjoyed one of them, knowing full well that it was at least 300 calories.
- Saturday Dec 18, 2004
Finally, I saw 113 again today. I was still 114 yesterday and too bummed to write a journal entry. It's been a rough two weeks. It is so easy to gain weight and so hard to lose it! I don't know if I'll see 112 anytime soon...I'm just hoping to maintain 113 or 113.5 through the holidays.
I've hardly done any holiday baking, which saddens me a bit. I love to bake, especially around the holidays. But since we just moved, I don't know many people that I'd want to give the goodies to, and I usually don't bake for just my husband and me. That's dangerous. I'd eat the majority of it, and I don't need to gain 3 pounds from the sweet treats!
So...I'll just try to stay out of the kitchen. I want to make some fudge, but mostly for myself. My intentions are not pure, let me tell you! :)
- Friday Dec 17, 2004
Well, I'm back home and was at 114 today...which I haven't seen for several weeks. Sigh. Life on the road is tough, but I honestly have no excuses. No one was forcing food down my throat. I chose to eat things I normally wouldn't, and I chose to snack when I didn't need it. So the extra pound is all mine as well.
If I can just make it through the next two weeks with a minimal or NO gain, I will be one happy girl! I'll be gone for a full week over Christmas, and I know that I will face food temptations everywhere. But I'm going to stay disciplined, just like the rest of you! I often think of Geevee when I'm tempted with a lot of different foods, especially sweets! She's an inspiration to me!
And where's CurlsnCuffs? We could all use a little motivation from Curls right about now! :) Are you there, friend???
- Wednesday Dec 15, 2004
I have no idea if my weight is still at 113.5, but I have a feeling that it's up. For some reason, I just seem to be hungrier than normal and all this time on the road isn't helping, as I'm faced with more temptations and less control of my meals. I'm still "on the road" as I type this, in the hopes that I will make wise decisions tonight. We're going to a sushi place, so that will be healthy, I hope.
But yesterday was bad, even though I ran and went swimming at night. I weighed myself in my bathing suit after swimming, and was up to 118 pounds, which is terrible! I had eaten a big dinner, but I still was appalled to see that number.
I'm really trying to eat less, but I'm going to eat when I'm hungry. I refuse to starve myself. It's just that when I'm on the road, it's harder to eat healthy, and my snacks are running low. If I were in America, I could run to a nearby grocery store and stock up on plenty of low-fat products.
But this is Asia, my friend, and I'm in a small city. There ain't no low-fat products here! (pardon the bad grammar)
It's time to think creatively! At least I can always eat hard boiled egg whites! :)
- Sunday Dec 12, 2004
I'm holding steady at 113.5. No loss. I just want to see a 1/2 pound loss. Sometimes it gets discouraging, but I just keep plugging away...and hoping that I can pass up the urges to snack and eat more than I need.
I'm going to be on the road again this week and then over the holidays, too. So I'm relying on my healthy snacks and an extra dose of discipline to get me through it. Last week's trip resulted in a net gain of 1 1/2 pounds. So if I keep gaining at that pace, I'll gain those 5 pounds right back!
I am still amazed daily at how the Chinese women eat and stay so thin. I know that life isn't fair, but sometimes I wish I would just see a fat Chinese lady walking down the street. Of course, most of them aren't muscular or "fit-looking." They're just thinner than most American women. But they do walk everywhere. That probably makes a big difference! And most of them never eat things like cheesecake. They just eat greasy, fried food. It still doesn't seem fair.
- Friday Dec 10, 2004
Ugh! Usually, Saturdays are GREAT weigh-in days...but I'm at the highest weight I've been since the middle of October for a Saturday! How discouraging!
It could be due to a rather salty hot pot dinner last night...but I don't feel very bloated, and I should just admit to myself that I indulged in too many calories this week. Rats. I really thought I would be okay since I've continued to exercise daily, but I just have to remember that my body doesn't need as many calories as the average person. I can't eat 2000 a day and expect to maintain my weight.
So this morning I got in a 50-minute run, ate a healthy breakfast, and am ready for a new day. Maybe tomorrow, the scale will be nicer to me!
- Thursday Dec 09, 2004
Well, I'm back from my trip and a pound up from what I was when I left. I'm glad that it's only a pound...I had a rough time, food-wise. I wasn't careful with what I ate, and even though I got plenty of exercise, I know that I overdid it. (It didn't help that I couldn't weigh myself every day...I'm used to doing that, and it works for me...it keeps me accountable and aware of what I need to do to maintain my weight).
So I'm back on track today. Unfortunately, I've allowed my sweet tooth to indulge in some treats lately, which just makes me crave sugar more.
So it takes extra discipline to stay away from those sweets! Thankfully, I'm not attending numerous Christmas parties here in Asia, as they don't really celebrate Christmas. But with Chinese New Year coming, people are will soon be in the "celebration" mood, and I'll have to be careful...last year, I gained several pounds in the month of January, and I'm not going to let that happen again!
- Sunday Dec 05, 2004
Still hanging on to 112! Wow! I just can't blow it this week...I'm leaving on a business trip today for 4 days, and those always pose various challenges. So I'd better go pack my healthy snacks! I hate being unprepared!
- Friday Dec 03, 2004
I love Saturdays! I'm back to 112 today. But I'm in the middle of baking cookies for some friends, so I have to update my entry to help me keep myself accountable. I had a few bites of the dough and 1/2 cookie, but that's enough. I don't need any more. I have to keep remembering that NOTHING tastes as good as being thin feels! Even if the cookies taste great, which they do!
- Wednesday Dec 01, 2004
I'm holding steady at 113. I shouldn't complain...at least it's not up to 114, which often happens in the middle of the week. I'm finding myself wanting to snack more lately, so it's taking extra discipline just to eat when I'm hungry. I've been presented with a number of temptations, food-wise, but so far I've been doing okay. Lunch yesterday was with a bunch of co-workers, and included pizza and other fattening things...I managed to pick off the healthy toppings on a piece of pizza, eat some chicken (and skipped the cheese), and only had a bite of the desserts. I ate my healthy soy nuts instead. But it's frustrating to watch everyone else pig out. I mean, I can barely maintain my weight by just eating bites of that kind of food...how do these other people do it? How do they just shove 3 pieces of pizza in their mouths and wake up the next morning the same weight as they were the day before? Maybe they do gain...slowly...but none of them seem to show it!
Ah, well. I'm not going to start the "life isn't fair" thought-process, because it only makes me more frustrated. As many of you know, discipline in eating isn't fun, but it is worth it in the long run. I could care less this morning about not eating the pizza...usually, it's just a temporary temptation and I get over it quite quickly. It's not like I've never had pizza before, for crying out loud! I know what it tastes like already. So if I can save myself 500 calories by passing it up, I will. And I'll stick with my own foods that are low-cal, healthy, and satisfying.