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Runner - Monday Nov 29, 2004

Weight: 113.0

Well, I knew that my time at 111.5 would be short-lived. I actually saw 114.5 this morning before I went running...and then I was down to 113. Fluctuations, fluctuations. I just wish I would never see those low numbers if they won't stay. But as many of us know, the more weight you lose, the harder it is to keep it off, especially if you lack discipline.

And I lacked some major discipline yesterday. I found myself snacking on candy and other junk. And I baked yesterday, which led to more "bites and tastes" than I needed! So I shouldn't be surprised that my weight is up today. Of course, I know that I can't just "gain" two pounds overnight. But it is true that when I overdo it, the scale almost always registers the extra carbs the next morning. It's a way of keeping me accountable. I can't just eat whatever I want. I know this. I can still eat 1500-1800 calories and enjoy my meals, but I can't just snack on candy and consume all those extra carbs and calories.

So I'm back on the wagon today! Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. (That is so true!)

Penguin_14 on 11/30/2004:
Thank you for your comments yesterday. And thank you for the encouragement! 45 lbs. is an awesome amount of weight to lose. I know many people who are not as heavy as I am who say they have some of the same struggles I do. It's amazing how people don't realize what they're saying is so hurtful. It is a constant battle, like you said. And it's REALLY good to know that none of us is alone! :)

Becca27 on 11/30/2004:
Hi Runner!

Fluctuations keep us humble. BLT's kill me all the time (bites, licks, tastes). Our Costco's samples are OK. It's hysterical, though, to see people crowd around for them. The poor workers can't even get them on the trays before they're devoured. You'd think we never eat. I have heard of and eaten the Kashi Go Lean Crunch, but my problem with that cereal is that it's too good. I end up snacking on it a lot and after a while, it gives me horrible gas. The calorie and sugar content is a little higher than I like. This new stuff I bought is pretty good, but I can only have 1/2 C serving to stay within my points. With the regular Go Lean, I can eat a whole cup - but it does taste like cardboard.

I hope your wagon doesn't tip today. Have a great one!

geevee on 11/30/2004:
Your mini-visit at 111.5 was about as long as mine was at 123! Now that I'm up 3 BIG pounds,it seems as if it will take forever to get back down.

I normally eat around 1500-1600 cal. a day and along with the exercise I can lose weight, but when I slip up on not doing it, I pay the price immediately. No exercise, some salty food, glasses of wine and BAM! I have to start all over again. Being Tues., your weight usually goes up a pound or two mid-week. You ought to be back to at least 112 by the week-end.

Runner - Sunday Nov 28, 2004

Weight: 111.5

Unbelievable! I was at an all-time low of 111.5 today! Now, I have no idea how I got there...as I was 114 only three days ago! But after that apple-pie-from-Costco incident, I was much more careful with what I put in my mouth, and I even survived another Thanksgiving meal yesterday by taking smaller portions of everything, exercising for 1 1/2 hours, and eating only a small breakfast and dinner.

So even though I know this "low" is probably quite temporary, I feel good that I didn't GAIN weight this week!

By the way...for those who read Geevee's entries about her successful pumpkin pie, I also made a sugar-free pie for the Thanksgiving meal I attended yesterday, but I modified her recipe a bit and it turned out soooo well! Mine wasn't quite as low-cal, but it could be, if you can find fat-free cream cheese (which is available in the U.S., but not here!)

Anyway, I'll here's the recipe...it was a delicious pie, and no one could tell that it was sugar-free!

Incredible 2-layer Sweet Potato Pie (sugar-free)


BOTTOM LAYER: 1 large sweet potato

4 oz. Cream cheese, softened (reduced-fat or fat-free work fine)

8 packets of Splenda, or another sugar substitute

2 large eggs

� cup evaporated milk

� cup Bisquick

1 tbsp. Pumpkin pie spice

1 tbsp. Cinnamon

1 tbsp. Nutmeg

1 tsp. Vanilla

TOP LAYER: 1 small package of sugar-free vanilla pudding

1 � cups milk

4 oz. Cream cheese, softened

� cup chopped walnuts

1. Boil sweet potato whole in skin for 40 to 50 minutes, or until done. Run cold water over the sweet potato, and remove the skin.

2. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Spray a 9-inch pie plate with cooking spray.

3. Break apart the sweet potato in a bowl. Add 4 oz. Cream cheese and mix well with a mixer. Stir in Splenda packets, milk, eggs, Bisquick, spices, and vanilla. Beat on medium speed until mixture is smooth. Pour filling into pie plate.

4. Bake at 375 degrees for 35-45 minutes, or until pie is set. Allow pie to cool.

5. Beat pudding, milk, and softened cream cheese in bowl until mixture is smooth. Pour pudding mixture over the cooled pie. Sprinkle crushed walnuts on top of the pudding layer. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

geevee on 11/28/2004:
Thanks for the sweet potato pie recipe. With 4 large sweet potatoes piled up because my son announced he'd be bringing them for Thanksgiving, I sure can use another pie recipe. The cream cheese and pudding combo sounds good.

A new low! Way to go!

postalprincess on 11/28/2004:
I know how you feel about the scale readings. I have been bouncing between 183-185. Yesterday was 183 and today it was 188! How did I gain 5 pounds in 1 day? I feel your pain. :) Congrats on your all time low!

Runner - Thursday Nov 25, 2004

Weight: 113.5

I just had the Thanksgiving dinner with my co-workers...I would have been fine, except for the apple pie from Costco. Usually, I hate the crust of the pie...and this crust was very thick and on the top and bottom of the pie...and I couldn't quit eating it. Ugh. I'm very stuffed. Why did I have to buy the dumb pie? I was trying to save myself from eating too many calories by purchasing dessert instead of making it from scratch. And instead, I end up eating too much of the store-bought, lard-filled pie from Costco, for crying out loud! Okay, I'm taking a deep breath. I'm going to go for a walk now and I'll really cut back the rest of the day.

Here I thought Thanksgiving dinner would be easier since I'm not in America...ha!

And I have another big meal on Saturday! Oh, dear.

Becca27 on 11/25/2004:
I can't believe they have Costco in Taiwan! Costco pies (and all their baked goods) are exceptional! Thanks for your comments. The fluctuations freak me out because they make all my hard work seem like it was for nothing (which I know isn't true). It's always easier to counsel than live your own advice, isn't it? I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

legcramps on 11/25/2004:
You CAN get through it! Try, try, try! The holidays are the hardest time of the year for me. There are just too many delectable desserts and juicy meals flowing with gravy and stuffing. Load up on the veggies and stuff yourself with that first! By the time you're done with them, just looking at all those desserts will make you sick! Good luck for the rest of the weekend, have a good day today!

geevee on 11/25/2004:
When I made the second pumpkin pie w/regular NFmilk, I forgot to include the Bisquick, and it didn't make any difference. Didn't stick or burn and cooked beautifully. Crustless pie. What a good idea!

Runner - Tuesday Nov 23, 2004

Weight: 113.5

I have just been given the task of preparing another American-style Thanksgiving meal for my 15 Chinese co-workers. None of them have ever really had a Thanksgiving meal, and since they're graciously giving us the afternoon off, I have sorta volunteered to cook a Thanksgiving meal. I made one two weeks ago for some Chinese friends, and I managed to throw together a whole dinner (using a tiny convection oven), including a turkey. (which barely fit in my oven)

But now I've moved out of the capital city, and there is no canned pumpkin to be found, turkey is too expensive since it's imported, and I can't even find stuffing. So...I'll have to make do with what I can!

We're going to buy Rotisserie chickens from Costco instead of turkey, and I think I'll make a sweet potato pie instead of pumpkin, since I can find sweet potatoes. I really don't mind cooking...usually, I eat less when I make the meal because I'm too busy preparing everything.

But I'm glad (in some ways) that I'm not home in America for the next month. There are just way too many goodies...at least I have a hard time indulging in pecan pies, chocolates, candies, etc. here in Asia! Of course, I always manage to blow my diet on candy or McD's hot fudge sundaes, but I have to admit, there are far fewer temptations than most of you will face!

Just remember---keep exercising! That will help you get through the holidays with a minimal (if any) weight gain. You'll be okay...splurging on one piece of pie won't kill you. Eating three pieces every day WILL. So make your treats count. Enjoy them. And burn off those calories with some serious walking!

geevee on 11/24/2004:
A dinner for 15. WOW! I don't have a regular oven either but learned how to do everything with a 1.2 cu. ft. microwave and a toaster oven that a pie crust will fit into. I can cook up to a 14lb. turkey, bake a loaf of bread or a pie, whatever. A sweet potato pie tastes so similar to pumpkin. I'm considering making one myself because my son announced that he's bringing the sweet potatoes and here I am with 4 big ones, so why not?

A rotisserie chicken is such a good substitute. Oh, are your new co-workers going to be happy when they discover your baked goodies! Have a good one!

geevee on 11/24/2004:
All is not lost.I discovered that just plain NF milk works just fine! I had psyched myself up for pumpkin pie and then at the last minute realized that I didn't have the NF evaporated milk but thought, well, why not give regular NF milk a try. It worked! Of course I don't have the same sweet tooth as others. I had to reduce the sweeteners by half so maybe you can't go by my taste. But,I thoroughly enjoyed the regular non-fat version topped with NF sour cream which I LOVE! Oh! What a satisfying recipe! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Runner - Monday Nov 22, 2004

Weight: 114.0

Okay, it's time to buckle down. I've been very lazy with my eating habits the past week or so.

I was blaming my bloated feeling and weight-gain on the Provera and my period, but I have nothing to blame now but myself. I just can't snack away without paying for it. I know better.

I was just downright hungry yesterday, so I snacked often, and I am now further than ever from my goal of 112. Even though my snacks might be "healthy," I just can't consume the extra calories.

So today is a new start. I need to stop eating mindlessly and get more exercise. It really stinks not having a gym to go to yet. Running is more difficult, and I don't have a pool, either. Or a place to hike or people to hike with. But I'm not going to let these temporary hurdles affect my discipline or determination any more. No more excuses! I CAN get back to 112! I WILL!

Runner - Sunday Nov 21, 2004

Weight: 113.5

Well, my weight isn't dropping any more, but maybe that's due to my period, which finally came (after the Provera pills ended). So I'll give it another day or two...and hopefully drop back down to 113 or 112.5.

Meanwhile, I'm trying not to eat too much candy! Sometimes I just crave that sugar, especially at this time of the month!

My mom brought me some of my favorite candies from the States when she visited a couple of weeks ago, and they have been such a treat...thankfully, I'm keeping my caloric consumption stable, I think. (I'm still aiming for about 1800 calories a day...but I'd probably get back to 112 if I could just stay away from 300 cals of candy every day!)

Anyway, my transition to a new city has been harder than normal. Here, the water is just terrible. You can't drink it out of the tap. So we're going to have to boil water or buy bottled water. Even with a filter, we'd have to boil water. What a pain. I drink so much water, too...but at least we have a water machine where I work so I can get my water-fill for free during the day.

And I haven't found a gym yet. I need a gym so I can do some weight-lifting and swimming.

But the hardest part is the pollution...it's twice as bad as the last city we lived in, and my lungs are probably on their way to resembling a smoker's lungs. (Even though I've never taken a puff). But running out in this haze and smog will do some damage, I'm sure.

Other than that, I'm okay.... Living in Asia sure is an adventure at times!

Becca27 on 11/22/2004:
I'm glad you're settling in well to your new city. Yikes! The smog! I hope you can find a gym soon. I've been drinking a lot of distilled water lately - It's pretty cheap here- the stuff out of fridge is too cold and my tap water has sediment and is too hard. It is a pain, though, because every few days I load up and I go through it quickly. Good luck with that candy. I'm sure it's a bit nostalgic and comforting, especially being in a new city. Keep up the great work

Runner - Saturday Nov 20, 2004

Weight: 113.5

Finally, finally, I'm closer to what I was a week ago! Yesterday was the last day on those Provera pills, so I definitely feel better today! I'm not as bloated, either!

WE moved yesterday, so I've been so busy unpacking, cleaning, etc. But I had to get out of the house to find an Internet cafe so I could check up with my friends on the DD's! :) My hubby is patiently waiting for me...I feel kinda out-of-place in this environment. THe majority of the customers are Chinese teenage boys playing violent computer games. Anyway...

I'm going out for dinner tonight, but we're doing "hot pot," which is a lot of veggies and meat...not many carbs, and usually fairly healthy (if I can keep from drowning everything in soy sauce)!

I was encouraged to read livestrong's comment that she's noticed a definite change in my attitude around food. I'm so glad she noticed, because I can tell that I've made progress, too! I'm definitely not perfect, but I have come a long way. I've been here two years, and I really think that journaling my struggles, failures, and accomplishments has been essential to this whole process.

Be good to yourself today! Remember---a moment on the lips, forever on the hips! (Well, maybe not forever, but that saying helps me from taking seconds or thirds sometimes!) :)

geevee on 11/20/2004:
I, too, made a comment today about how helpful DD's has been for me. Progress is slow but measureable. I haven't writeen down my food intake for at least three days now. It's as if it's no longer necessary now that I have a fairly consistent routine and certain boundaries that I don't cross such as fast food restaurants. If I did break a hard and fast rule like having a McD's sundae or Checker's fries, I'd immediately have to write everything down to make proper adjustments.

I can imagine how much better you feel now that you've dropped some of that water weight! My son told me about all the teenagers who inhabit the internet cafes.

I have two more slices of pumpkin pie to look forward to and then I'm going to make ANOTHER!

Runner - Thursday Nov 18, 2004

Weight: 115.0

No change in the weight today...of course, I don't deserve a change, since I snacked my way through hundreds of calories last night. Sometimes when I have temporary weight gains, I just feel like eating more! And these Provera pill side effects (hunger, bloating, weight gain) aren't helping any!

I have one more meal out tonight before we leave tomorrow. And tomorrow is my last day on these pills. I sure hope the weight I've "gained" comes off quickly!

*************** UPDATE---We had the fanciest seafood meal I've ever had in my life tonight. Honestly, the meal must have cost a fortune! Three of the dishes included lobster...and I tried raw lobster sushi for the first time---incredible! The quality of the food was amazing, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Most of it was downright healthy, too, even though I could taste the oil on several of the dishes. I am full, but not overly stuffed. Still, I made my hubby pack my scale up tonight so I can't weigh myself tomorrow morning. It's not worth putting myself through more misery.

Now, I hope I get a break from all these fancy meals...people here just love to treat me to fine dining, but it's wrecking havoc on my weight maintenance!

legcramps on 11/18/2004:
More to the point, I hope those pills are doing their magic. Their side effects are nothing in comparison to what you might 'gain' (no pun intended) from taking them. Have a happy day today!

Becca27 on 11/18/2004:
TY sooo much for your kind words. I have to be honest, I'd been fretting about this ever since that lard... left that horrible comment to me. I'm pretty sensitive and thin skinned, so, just the thought that I could have offended you upset me. It's funny, though, she removed the comment that she made to me, as well as all of her own entries... very interesting. Sometimes I wonder if everyone in here is for real or if some people are just messing around. TY, also, for backing me up with Princess. I was worried about that comment, too. I'm glad you're here too!

Your seafood buffet sounded wonderful. Shellfish is my type of food. I love lobster, crab, shrimp, ... you can't really go wrong and you're right, it's all very healthy. I hope your move goes well and you guys get settled quickly. I know you'll miss all of the great people you've met. Will you get to see them again? Take care and have a wonderful day!!

livestrong on 11/18/2004:
I know weight fluctuations can be frusterating, but if you get discouraged, read over some of your old entries. I like reading your entries, so the other day I looked back over some of your older ones. You have come SOOOO far since then! A few months ago your attitude toward food was not anywhere near as healthy as it is now. I am inspired by you and how far you've come because I can can relate to a lot of your old entries, and seeing how far you've come makes me think I can do it too! Thanks for being such an inspiration!

geevee on 11/19/2004:
Hi Runner!

I just sent out the news to the family that I'll be making a pumpkin pie for each one and they have to decide whether it will be lo cal (your recipe) or a regular one. It's SO good.

My son in Japan is busy making pies. Here's an excerpt from his latest letter.

You won`t believe the success of the cocunut custard pie. The recipe on the back of the package you sent me was not only perfect in taste, but the easiest thing you can imagine. I learned how to make my own pie shell and, quite by accident, learned how to make it flaky by refrigerating it over night. After I tested my first pie shell, I taught Miho how to make the same thing so as to afford me practice (used the local cocunut on the second pie because the stuff is going to be consumed by me only). Tried three different recipes for the shell. By the end of the second day of pie making, my fridge was filled with pies. Gave Miho a buch. Took a small pie to the local internet cafe where they went wild. Brought another one to work for the Chinese girls, who wouldn`t stop gushing about the beauty of the taste. It was creamy and soft and very vanillaee. The crust was perfectly light and very buttery. It was the kind of food that doctors warn strongly against making a habit out of.

The next project will be another custard of some short (maybe banana).

Runner - Tuesday Nov 16, 2004

Weight: 115.0

I was so relieved to read Livestrong's comment that her weight fluctuated 10 pounds on Provera! I'm glad I'm not the only one! When I woke up at 115 today, I was panicking even more! I was 109.5 last night before bed! My stomach is still bloated, and I am just hungrier than normal! Ugh! Thankfully, I only have two more days of medicine.

I haven't been 115 since early August, though, before I left for my trip to China. What a week I've had! To hit a low of 112 on Sunday morning and then to hit a high of 115 on Wednesday morning, I feel like I've been on a roller coaster!

I know that 3 pounds may seem insignificant, but remember that I've lost almost 40 pounds, and every pound has taken hard work. I just don't like to see the scale go UP, UP, UP, even if I am on medication!

But thanks for all your comments. This too shall pass...

in the meantime, I'm moving on Friday! Two more days of "final lunches" and parties, and then maybe I'll be able to start cooking more for myself!!

Last night at a farewell party, a lady made brownies, which are usually my downfall, but THANKFULLY, she put walnuts in them, and I just hate walnuts! So I could only pick at it...my husband ate most of it! What a small blessing!

Becca27 on 11/16/2004:
It's funny how different tricks work for different people. I know geevee likes to visualize... Well, when I'm at parties, I think about people picking at food after using the bathroom and not washing their hands - that fecal matter and urine gets transferred right to the food. Don't forget the sneezing and coughing, too. All the bacteria and germs -plus double-dipping. It usually stops me from eating a lot of stuff.

I just wanted to paint a pretty picture for you before you head off to some more festivities.

:o) Have a great day!

geevee on 11/17/2004:
Becca made a great point about buffets. A similar one was made by a doctor who was in one of my adult English classes. She would never eat at one of our parties and explained that unless the food was on ice, the deterioration of it and multiplication of bacteria made it inedible for her. I've also read articles about how germ-infested those salad buffets are.

Sure hope your weight stabilizes soon. I liked that 109 and know you did too!

Becca27 on 11/17/2004:
Hi Runner, Someone left a message for me suggesting that I hurt your feelings. If I did, please accept my sincere apology. Since we've exchanged comments regarding the "kid germs", I was trying to have fun with the whole "buffet" thing - while truly trying to help you resist the foods you don't want to eat. It would NEVER be my intent to offend, so please forgive me for my poor taste. -(No pun intended )

Runner - Monday Nov 15, 2004

Weight: 114.5

Ugh! What a terrible number! In the last 48 hours, my weight has fluctuated 8 pounds! Seriously! I think it HAS to be partly due to the medication I'm on...I started taking Provera on Saturday to induce my period, and I'm just so bloated. I read online that weight gain and bloating are common side effects, and I can only hope that this 2 1/2 pound gain (since Sunday) is due to the medication!

Honestly, I almost flipped out last night when I saw the number 120 on the scale! I haven't been that weight for months!!! Yes, I weighed myself before bedtime, but I really hadn't eaten that much dinner, and there was just no way that my weight could climb from 112 Sunday morning to 120 Monday night. But it did! It has to be a temporary gain...it has to be!

I just wish I didn't have to see those numbers on the scale! I've worked SO HARD to get under 115...and now this medication is ruining everything! I hope that when I finish these pills, I will drop the extra "weight" that I'm carrying around right now!

geevee on 11/15/2004:
In your situation I would be HYSTERICAL! Even though I was 129.5 last night at 8pm and 125.5 at 2pm today I can well understand how the hormones would increase the weight gain by 8 lbs. And that bloated feeling is so uncomfortable. Finish the course of the medicine and you'll go back to normal. Meanwhile, stay away from the scale. It will only irritate you more.

Maria7 on 11/15/2004:
Thanks for your comments. I've been reading your journal...how tall are you? Looks like you are doing real well, maintaining BELOW your goalweight! SMILE!!!

Becca27 on 11/16/2004:
The gain could be a combo of sodium and time of day. You know that you didn't cosume 8 lbs of food! Don't panic! You'll see it come down. It's important to take that medicine. Try on a pair of jeans that you love and fit great. That will tell you what's really going on. Hang in there. It's just a #. Don't let it fool you. :o)

biscottibody59 on 11/16/2004:
The body is a wonderful machine and it knows more about correcting itself than we know. And by the same token, you know YOUR body better than anyone. Now having said that--ask yourself if this is the right treatment for you and if you've waited a sufficient time for YOU.

I'm just a little concerned that some doctor would throw a hormone your way, when your body may right itself on it's own. Of course if this is right for you, take care! We all know medication can sometimes do more harm than good!

livestrong on 11/16/2004:
Hi, I have taken Provera, and my weight fluctuated by 10 1bs! I was 108 one day and 118 the next. I felt horrible and bloated. The good news is it went away after a couple days. Don't worry!!! It's just the medication!

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