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Runner - Sunday Nov 14, 2004

Weight: 113.5

I should have updated my entries this weekend. I was actually 112 on both Saturday and Sunday, amazingly! I even ate out Friday night at a Thai restaurant, but my weight was down.

Unfortunately, my streak ended this morning, and my day has been off to a rough start. I baked last night, and I shouldn't have, because I know that I consumed extra calories...how many hundred, I don't know. There were a few too many "licks" and "bites," though! But I didn't snack all day, and I got plenty of exercise, so I was quite surprised to be up almost 2 pounds this morning! Yikes! I felt awfully bloated, too. I hate that feeling!

And then, to make matters worse, I did something I rarely, rarely do. I skipped my healthy breakfast to eat two chocolate-banana bars that I'd made last night. I had brought them in to work to share with my co-workers, but I put them out before I had taken time to eat my normal breakfast, and I just gave in to the temptation to eat two of them because they looked so good! After that, I couldn't bring myself to eat my cereal. I don't need another 300 calories! I'm already over my limit for the morning.

Ugh! The rest of the day will be better. I'm determined to get back on track.

If I can make it through 2 more meals out this week, I'll be okay...strangely enough, though, I usually "gain" weight after eating at home, not after eating out! At least that's been my trend lately.

On another note, I had to get something minor checked out yesterday at the hospital, and the Chinese staff couldn't believe how low my heart rate is. I have a resting heart rate of about 40, which is quite low. The average resting heart rate of a woman is about 75 beats per minute. So the Chinese hooked me up to some sort of machine to monitor my heart rate...my husband kept trying to tell them that my heart rate is always low, due to my excessive exercising! It was pretty funny!

geevee on 11/15/2004:
It's strange how your entries from Thurs. and Sun. didn't appear until today, Monday. I was glad to see your normal weekend low. That list you posted applies to me, too. Like Becca I had to sit at that table until my plate was clean. We carry so many problems from the past. It's no wonder we have weight problems today.

Yesterday I started my daily food journal as I usually do but sometime in the afternoon I slacked off. I wasn't in the mood to cook and really not that hungry. I sort of made do with whatever leftovers I found plus snacks of pistachios. I kept thinking about it this morning and so far have not gotten back to the journal to update it and count what the damage was yesterday. Being down a pound as I had predicted just encouraged me not to. Slowly I'm learning the rhythm of my body weight.

Runner - Thursday Nov 11, 2004

Weight: 113.0

I found a good strategy for those days when I have a large meal at lunchtime...like yesterday.

I didn't eat again until later that night, and I only had a few veggies and some cottage cheese to "tide me over." Then I waited until I was really hungry again to eat. Around 10:00pm, I was hungry! So I had a bowl of cereal and went to bed. I woke up back at 113!

I don't feel like I deserve it, but in a way, I do. Because I only ate about 500 calories after lunchtime, plus I got in 2 good workouts. So that Japanese buffet lunch hopefully didn't do much damage.

In the past, I would have still eaten a big dinner and probably a snack before bed. But I'm learning to listen to my body. If I eat too much at one meal, then I should just wait until I'm hungry again to eat. It's hard to wait after getting in a habit of eating every few hours. And I do prefer to eat small meals every 3-4 hours. But sometimes I don't have a choice. So I'm learning that my "dinner" doesn't have to be the type of dinner I ate growing up...all those habits I established as a kid are hard to break!

What I'm learning:

I do NOT need to be a member of the clean-your-plate-club.

I do NOT need to eat a balance of carbs, protein, or fat with EVERY meal.

I do NOT need to continue to eat unhealthy the rest of the day if I "blow it" at one meal.

I do NOT need to feel guilty for occasional indulgences, like all-you-can-eat-buffets, especially when I make smart choices about what to eat.

But on the same hand, I do NOT need to feel like I have to "eat" my money's worth! I can go to a buffet and NOT try every dish!

And last but not least, I do NOT have to eat something that I do not want to eat. No one should try to force food down my throat. I am mature enough to decide for myself what to eat, and if I don't want another slice of cheesecake, I don't HAVE to eat it!

I feel empowered! :)

Becca27 on 11/12/2004:
Hi Runner,

After reading your entry - I feel empowereed too! Thanks for the pep talk. I struggle with so many of the same things. When I blow it early in the day, I tend to panic because I know I'll be awake for another 12 hours and don't know how I'll survive. I've found that, although it's breaking routine, when I "listen" to my body and only eat when I'm hungry, I can bounce back. It is hard, though, NOT to eat when everyone else is. Sometimes, when the family is at dinner and I'm not hungry, I eat anyway because it's "dinner time." I've also caught myself struggling to finish my plate just because it's there and it should be "clean." I really try to teach my kids to take small portions and have seconds if they want them. When presented with new or unlikable food, I only ask them to try it -I can remember sitting at my kitchen table for hours when I was a little girl because I wouldn't eat my canned spinach! I've never done that to my kids. Anyway, thanks again!!

borntocry on 11/12/2004:
I love your resolutions, Runner. I'm working on all the same issues myself. I think the hardest for me are the "clean-your-plate" and "eat-your-money's-worth" dilemmas. The only thing that saves me at buffets is that now that I'm vegetarian many of the dishes are off limits! In the past I used to try every last thing. And go back for seconds and thirds!

subway girl on 11/12/2004:
Wow sounds like you have really learned a lot on your weight loss journey! You're very inspiring. I am going to start listening to my body more. You are right though, just because someone else wants you to eat something doesn't mean that you have to! I like that point! Keep up the good work :)

Runner - Wednesday Nov 10, 2004

Weight: 113.5

Yesterday I didn't have time to write, but my weight was down to 112.5. I thought that with my parents here, I would have a really rough week, food-wise, but I didn't. I think it's partly due to the fact that they came here instead of me going to the States. There are far less temptating foods here, and I didn't snack as much with them around.

But last night, I met with some ladies, and I overdid it on carmel corn, fruit, and some banana bars. I also had some apple pie during the day, so I wasn't surprised to see myself up a pound today. I think I may be treated to lunch today, so that's making me a bit nervous. Meals out always make me nervous, although I usually manage to do okay. It all depends, though...if there are "trigger" foods there, and I happen to be very hungry, it could be a caloric nightmare.

But I filled myself up on hardboiled egg whites and high-fiber cereal this morning, so I hope that tides me over so I don't feel like overeating at lunchtime.


Well, the lunch ended up being much harder than I anticipated. My host took me to an all-you-can eat Japanese buffet at a ritzy hotel. I LOVE Japanese food...I mean, sushi and sashimi are right up my alley! But buffets are killers...who can resist trying all the various dishes? Even though I stayed away from the tempura and other fried food, I still indulged...and I had some bites of cheesecake and Haagen-Daaz ice cream (which is sooo highly caloric) to top it all off. I'm sure my 10 bites or so of dessert equaled 500 calories at least.

(Did you know that a 1/2 cup of chocolate Haagen-Daaz ice cream is 18 grams of fat and 270 calories? That's terrible! What am I eating? Pure cream??)

So, although I tried my best not to overeat, I ate far more than I usually do for lunch. And even though I enjoyed the food, I feel guilty now...you know the feeling...that "why-did-I-go-back-for-thirds" feeling...as if eating one more sushi roll is going to make me happier. As if I've never had cheesecake before, so I'd better make sure I eat a piece.

Okay. Tomorrow is a new day. But my last week here (before I move to another part of the island) is full of food and parties. I doubt I'll see 112.5 again for awhile...

Becca27 on 11/11/2004:
You definitely have some challenges ahead of you - with all the goodbye partying - just try to do your best and not be too discouraged. You can tread water by making sure you keep up on your workouts. I've been dreading the next two months, myself. It's both my favorite and most dreaded time of the year. It's hard to get around all the parties - I do best with a routine - and even then I'm not that great.

I know those little orange candy pumpkins. They're candy corn in a different shape. They'd kill me, too. You'd be wise to toss them.

Have a wonderful day.

geevee on 11/11/2004:
I'm sure glad you gave the calorie count for Haagen-Daaz! Now I won't clear out my freezer until AFTER my son goes back to Japan. I'll keep it jam packed so they'll be no possibility to bring home some Godiva for him which I would surely have a "taste" of. He'll just have to get his ice cream elsewhere. Mean mother!

You know how I feel about cheesecake and Key Lime Pie. I eat them every chance I get!

Congratulations on getting to 112.5 in the middle of the week! It'll come back, just like my 124.5! We both continue to fight to keep off the same couple of pounds. It's a never ending battle.

Runner - Monday Nov 08, 2004

Weight: 113.0

Well, my vacation plans ended up changing...but I've still managed to stay fairly in control of the meals, and my weight has only fluctuated within a 1/2 pound. When I was running this morning, though, I just felt weary. Honestly, I don't know why I try sometimes...I read Borntocry's last entry, and I can empathize with her. I work so hard to maintain my weight, and sometimes I just don't want to do it.

My mom has been thin all her life and she's never had to work at it. She doesn't pig out, but she eats whatever sounds good at the moment. I think her portion sizes are smaller than most, but I still can't bring myself to eat like she does. But I often wish that I didn't have to think about everything that I put in my mouth. And even though I LOVE to exercise, my body gets tired, too.

Ah, well. I'm not complaining, only airing some of my thoughts this morning. I guess when it's all said and done, having a perfect body isn't that important. But I'm also aiming to achieve overall wellness...and to stay healthy. I just hope all my hard work pays off thirty years from now!

borntocry on 11/09/2004:
Hi Runner,

Thanks a lot for your sympathetic comment. To answer your question, I weighed myself in the middle of the day and I was fully dressed (in my running clothes, which are the lightest clothes I have). But that's how I've always weighed myself as I don't have a scale at home, so although I may actually weigh a little less than what I recorded, it doesn't change the fact that I only lost one pound.

I think I will try to keep up with the running. Three years ago, before I decided to lose weight, I had a cancer scare and ever since then I have wanted to become more fit. Well, this seems like a good (and relatively fun) way to do it so I will try to keep it up. It's all thanks to you!

By the way, I can really relate to what you said in your previous entry about not wanting to be at someone else's mercy and forced to eat things you don't want. I'm having the same concerns over my upcoming trip to America. We will be staying with my husband's friend for a few days first and I've warned him that if I should ever say that I'm not hungry he should just believe me and not assume that I'm just being polite. I'm looking forward to indulging in a lot of treats in America and I would like to avoid any extra unwanted calories, even if that means occasionally skipping a meal. I know that sounds unhealthy but it is the only way I can offset the gluttony!

Runner - Friday Nov 05, 2004

Weight: 112.5

I love Saturdays! My weight was down 1 1/2 pounds from yesterday..and though it will only last a day, I'll take it!

The buffet last night went better than anticipated. I ended up splitting a salmon dish with my mom (I usually order a full entree for myself), and I went easy on the salad bar/ dessert bar. Plus, I ate well the rest of the day. So I was pleasantly surprised to see my usual weight for a Saturday morning.

We're traveling the next few days, so that always takes extra foresight and planning. I have to pack along my "travel snacks" and make sure I have some powdered milk, etc. I refuse to fall into the trap of being unprepared, especially in a foreign country! I do NOT like being at the mercy of someone else and having to eat things that I normally would shun. So I do extra planning, but it's worth it. I rarely come back from vacations with a weight gain.

Runner - Thursday Nov 04, 2004

Weight: 114.0

Thank you all for your encouraging comments. It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with eating out at buffets, not bingeing on sweets, and has daily scale fluctuations.

I'm a good 1 1/2 pounds heavier today than I was last Friday. That stinks. I have hardly baked all week and have really eaten well, but meals out are ALWAYS more calories, and my body can't handle it. The meal last night was good--- pork, potatoes, veggies, fruit. I skipped the bread and only had a very small portion of potatoes. But my weight was still up. Maybe it was the Cantonese lunch. I just can't win!

So I got my 52-minute run in this morning and I ate a later breakfast than normal so I can eat a later lunch and hopefully avoid needing an afternoon snack. Tonight is the buffet dinner, and I need to be careful. The fact that my weight is up will help me stay more disciplined, I think. That's one reason I weight myself every day...otherwise, I get lazy.

borntocry on 11/05/2004:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for your comment. I do go to the Runner's World website (it's great, isn't it?) but I like to look at other websites as well, for variety. I guess the problem with the Internet is that one never knows how accurate anything is.

I hope the buffet went well!

Becca27 on 11/05/2004:
I just read your response - I knew I liked you for a reason. :o) Sounds like you've got a great attitude about your weight and a good plan to keep moving. Have a wonderful weekend.

geevee on 11/05/2004:
With all these meals out, it's a wonder that you're not up more than 2lbs!

I laughed aloud when I read about your poor mother and the chicken feet soup! That's terrible.

I forgot to tell you yesterday that in the Thurs.Nov. 4th NYTimes, p.A25, I think, there's an article about Lance Armstrong's divorced wife who is now a marathon runner. She never considered herself an athlete before. How could she with a world famous cyclist husband? It's an interesting story how it came about and I though you'd be interested in reading it.

Runner - Thursday Nov 04, 2004

Weight: 113.0

My parents have finally arrived...they traveled all the way from the U.S. and things are going well so far. We were taken out to lunch today to a fancy Cantonese place. I managed to eat mainly shrimp and vegetables. Although it was a bit oily, it was better than usual. And everything tasted good. I'm learning how to enjoy one or two pieces of something rather than 5 or 6 pieces. I have to tell myself that having 6 bites won't make me any happier than 2 bites. I don't know why my brain tends to think that the more I eat, the happier I'll be. On the contrary, the more I eat, the guiltier I feel.

So I think I did okay. Instead of eating all of my coconut milk-mango dessert (which was actually delicious), I ate 3 or 4 small bites and gave the rest to my husband. Two hours later, I could care less that I didn't eat the whole thing.

It's amazing how much of the diet process is completely mental. If I can just talk myself out of the lie that junk food and candy will make me feel happy, then I'll continue to make progress. Because even though chocolate creates a temporary "high," my joy should NOT come from food. Yes, I still enjoy desserts. Yes, I still love to bake. Yes, I'll always like sweets. But NO, I will not believe that eating more than my body needs is somehow good for me.

I just gave myself a pep talk for the day. I needed that, since I'm eating out again tonight! I need incredible discipline this next week, as we'll be eating out at least once a day. And at least a couple of those restaurants will be buffets...which are very hard for me.

I've been maintaining a low weight for 6 years, and I STILL have trouble with buffets. It will be a lifelong struggle, I know. But I am encouraged by many of you who are also committed to staying disciplined...and healthy.

borntocry on 11/04/2004:
Hi Runner,

You did well at the restaurant. You seem to be making so much progress. I am also trying to teach myself that food does not equal happiness. I guess it's just a primitive idea ingrained in all living creatures. That's how we are able to train animals using treats. We see food as a reward and as a source of pleasure.

Good luck with the buffets. Those are really hard for me also. I am constantly impressed at how you manage to exercise so much control at restaurants. I eat out very rarely and so I haven't yet had to learn how to do that.

Becca27 on 11/04/2004:
Have a wonderful visit with your parents and keep doing your best. :-) You're right, it will be a lifelong struggle, and we're encouraged by you, too.

Penguin_14 on 11/04/2004:
I think practically ALL of the diet process is mental sometimes. The pep talks really do help, too. I find myself doing that in my head several times each day, especially when faced with things that tempt me. Buffets are still a problem for me, too. Keep doing what you're doing--it's working!

Have a great day!

legcramps on 11/04/2004:
I had to talk myself out of junk food yesterday. Bloody hard, but the payoff IS well worth it. I hope you make great choices this next week while you are eating out! Buffets are hard for me too. Sunday night I went out to eat, and decided to have the buffet. Well, first of all, I didn't realize how expensive it was. Once I did, I really wanted to make sure I ate my fill, you know? In the end, I ended up having a cup of soup, some salad and some pork ribs and mashed potatoes. Very little in comparison to what my brain thought about price vs quantity! I'll never have that particular buffet again. I mean, really, $15 for tossed salad and soup? Gross mashed potatoes and pork ribs with barely any meat on them? Okay, I didn't have to pay for the meal, but then that just makes me feel even more guilty about not eating much! Ah, the moral is that you just can't win with buffets!

geevee on 11/04/2004:
We all benefited from your pep talk. Everyone can relate to the buffet problem but I'm not sure if everyone understands about how the Chinese meal progresses, from one course placed in the center of the table on a lazy Susan, to the next and next and endless procession of food which you're expected to eat. In a way, though, it might be a Godsend in that it gives you the opportunity to partake yet just have "a little". It's a great way to control quantity, especially since you have a small plate.

Now that your parents are with you, you have the opportunity to concentrate on other matters besides food. The occasion might be lunch or dinner but concentrating on interpersonal relationships can diminish the importance of the food. I plan to use this technique when I take son Jim to the Biltmore for lunch in December.

Alone, yesterday at the Biltmore, I made a point to take in the beauty of the courtyard, the fountain and the gorgeous weather rather than dwelling on the food. I only had two very small slices of bread which would equal one normal size slice and then left a medium sized slice in the basket. That was a mini-triumph, but as you well know, this is what we build upon, one mini-step at a time. It all adds up.

You are our in-house expert with a lot more experience than any of us have, so we know you'll come through the buffet challenges just fine. Keep us in mind. You KNOW you have to report back to us so it won't be difficult.

geevee on 11/04/2004:
PS - Check out legcramps comment to my entry today about Chinese buffets.

MommaJ on 11/04/2004:
Well you not only gave yourself a pep talk but us too with this journal entry...thanks!! I'm the same way - learning to eat just a few bites to satisfy the sweet or salty craving. I find that if I do that I don't stuff tons into my body when it caves into the craving...if i just have a bite or two then I'm happy. Have a good time with your parents. Buffets = BAD....lol. I try to stay far away from restaurants with buffets!! Take care :)

Runner - Monday Nov 01, 2004

Weight: 113.0

For those of you who ate too much sugar this weekend (like myself), there is an excellent column titled, "On the Sugar Wagon."

Go to:


Read the column and know that you're not alone! ************************************************************ I resisted the urges to eat junk yesterday and finished the day at around 1700 calories, I think. Not bad, considering I ran 9 km in the morning and walked for 40 minutes after work. I also lifted weights. So I was pleased to see a slight dip in the scale, although it could be due to a lighter snack before bed.

If there's one thing I've learned in this whole process, it's that discipline is so important. As soon as I get off track, my weight starts to climb up again. The less I weigh, the more I need to get disciplined. Because my body needs less calories than it did when I weighed 150 pounds.

Many of you have commented on things that you're thankful for, and I'll do that, too. What a great idea! 1. I'm thankful that I'm alive! God has blessed me with a strong body, good health, a wonderful husband and family. 2. I'm thankful for the experience to live overseas, even if I have frustrating days or crazy cultural experiences. It sure keeps life interesting! 3. I'm thankful for small things, like cottage cheese, sunshine, and a good book to read. 4. And I'm thankful for this website, which has been a really important part of my "weight loss process" for almost two years.

Now, if CurlsnCuffs would come back, I'd be even more thankful! :) I wonder how she's doing! Curls, if you're out there, update us! :)

Becca27 on 11/02/2004:
Thanks for the "Sugar Wagon" article. It was great!

I understand your appreciation for living in a different culture. My parents were missionaries to Peru, so I spent a lot of my childhood there. We lived in a town near a small Indian village. It gave me such a unique perspective on life, culture, and being an American. It also gave me compassion and sensitivity for those less fortunate. When I came to America, I had a very difficult time adjusting to the materialism and ignorance regarding world cultures. I often wish I could give my girls the same experience I had. I feel truly blessed for it.

legcramps on 11/02/2004:
Hey, nice job on the exercise yesterday! Congrats on the downward climb of the scale too. Do you always have a 'bed-time' snack? I don't think i'd lose anything if I had something to eat at night. But then, I don't run 9km every day either. Have a great day today!

MommaJ on 11/02/2004:
Great job on resisting the urges to eat junk food!! I gave in a bit yesterday but only had a few little pieces of Halloween candy to stop my cravings. Wow, you do a lot of running and walking, that is awesome!! I wish I could get motivated to do the same! :)

geevee on 11/02/2004:
Eat one of those three brownies and freeze the other two. You're not really denying yourself, just postponing the pleasure.

livestrong on 11/03/2004:
Thanks for all your nice comments and support- you've really helped me put things in perspective. You sound like you're doing great- great job on the exercise. Running is the best exercise for that endorphin rush, I think. You've really helped me realize that I can't deal with this on my own- I really need to give my struggles over to God to be successful!

Penguin_14 on 11/03/2004:
Good for you getting rid of that low-fat carrot cake!! We are both blessed with husbands who understand about our food problems. You're doing and awesome job and you're really an inspiration with your exercise.

Have a great day!

Runner - Monday Nov 01, 2004

Weight: 114.0

I didn't want to post today, because I'm discouraged at being up to 114, which I haven't been at for about 2 weeks. Yes, it may just be a fluctuation...but I'm a good pound and a half heavier than I was on Saturday, and I probably deserve it. I just can't indulge in sweet treats without paying for it in some way. If I was able to limit myself to ONE brownie, I'd be okay. But when I have several, that's when I notice the weight start to climb back on.

I've done fine today, and I'm still getting plenty of exercise, but I get weary sometimes of being so careful with everything I put in my mouth. Sometimes I just want to eat everything in sight...

geevee on 11/01/2004:
I'm in the same boat. My weight has been up two pounds for two days now.

MommaJ on 11/01/2004:
I always just feel like eating everything in sight....lol. It's so hard around every holiday too!! I think you are doing awesome although I hear ya when you say you're frustrated with a weight gain when you're trying hard to lose....NOT gain. I stepped on the scale last night (will never weigh at night again) and was up 4 pounds since the day before. It's probably just because I weighed myself in the evening, but that was frustrating to see - so I know what you're saying. Anyways, have a great day and I'm sure you'll probably be back down to 112 or 113 tommorow :)

Runner - Sunday Oct 31, 2004

Weight: 113.5

So much for self-control! I attended a Halloween party last night, and even though there wasn't much candy around, there WERE sweet treats. And since I had been "good" all day, I found myself eating several helpings of desserts...especially the one I made! Ugh! I went to bed with a bit of a "sugar hangover."

I'm back on track today, so far! I hope my overnight "gain" is temporary...I plan to get plenty of exercise today to help cancel out all those unncessary calories I consumed last night. Sure, the food was good, but I should have kept my portions smaller and I should have avoided eating second helpings. I know my weaknesses, and sweets are definitely at the top of the list!

With my parents coming to visit this week, I need to be even more disciplined, as we'll be eating several big meals during their visit. (People want to take us out for fancy dinners...it's the typical Chinese way of doing things)

geevee on 10/31/2004:
Runner, I think you have gotten maintenance down to a science the way you're able to enjoy a limited amount of goodies, eating out and baking your favorite no-no's while adjusting your exercise routine to make up for any 'indiscretions'. Knowing that your body has a particular rhythm or weight cycle each week helps get through the inevitable rises in weight. I've been learning this too and now am no longer so concerned when my weight is up for a couple of days. I know it's temporary. Following your example, new dieters should learn that they cannot eat anything they want whenever they want. There will be a big price to pay. There are real limitations as we well know!

By the way, are your parents prepared for the greasy food? I'm sure you'll have a model diet for them so they won't be concerned about your weight.

bECCA27 on 10/31/2004:
Tomorrow's a new day.... Don't you hate the way you feel with a "sugar hangover?" I know I do. So, why do we do it???? I feel fabulous when I eat right, what makes us go wrong. I wish there was a switch we could just turn off. Have a wonderful visit with your parents. I'm sure you'll enjoy your time with them.

livestrong on 10/31/2004:
I hate that sugar-hangover feeling! Exercise is the absolute best for making that feeling go away, though! I used to hate feeling guilty about eating that stuff as well, but you deal with it well by simply using the regret as a way to teach you what you should do different next time. You are really inspiring to me!

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