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Runner - Monday Aug 30, 2004

Weight: 114.0

I did fairly well yesterday and got plenty of exercise---a 50-minute run and a 90-minute hike. That should have made some sort of dent in the scale, right? Well, I was a full pound heavier. So I'm back to where I was before I left for China. Good thing I never changed the weight from 114. I'm trying not to get discouraged. It's just amazing at how hard it is to lose weight and how easy it is to gain it back!

I have a crazy goal to get down to 110. I know, I know...I don't NEED to lose any more weight. But now that I've seen the number "112" more than once, I want to get there and stay there. It's not as much about the number as it is the desire to LOSE something and to KEEP it off. Maintenance is so hard! And I can be so weak! I really admire gals like Geevee who pass up candy in the store, even when she is salivating. I've done that before, and I can do it again. For crying out loud, if I have the discipline to run a half marathon, I should have the discipline to say "no" to sweets!

But I don't deserve to be at 112 right now. I've indulged in desserts every day since I've been home...and I've definitely consumed extra calories! Unfortunately, I'm back at the office and sitting on my rear end most of the day, too...at least in China, I was walking everywhere!

legcramps on 08/31/2004:
You've done it before, and you can do it again! Why is it that when we see a smaller number on the scale, it makes us so disgustingly happy?! I keep telling myself that it's not the number on the scale, it's all about the way I feel about myself.......and then I take off running to the bathroom to step up on the scale and pray and hope for some kind of loss, ANY kind of loss!

You're doing great, just stay strong and don't let little things like eating a small dessert everyday bother you so much! It's going to happen! It might be easier to figure out a way to forgive yourself for giving in and moving on!

Good luck with today and have a great week! Thanks for your comments!

geevee on 08/31/2004:
I don't think a lot of DD'ers understand how difficult it is to simply maintain. I think feeleebubs commented about reaching her goal and then letting up a bit to have a few no-no's occasionally. It doesn't work that way as you have shown. Look what happened to me when I couldn't swim or do yoga for 10 days. I immediately gained 3-4 lbs while eating as I should! On my last successful diet when I got down to 123.5, I was there for one day and then promptly went right back up. I guess this is just our fate. I know I will ALWAYS have to be aware and watch it! You probably feel the same way. God, I HATED being 165! It's so nice being smaller and not feeling fat. I know being in the teens will be the best weight for me. I remember when I was there and never worrying. Clothes fit well. Well, I'm almost there.

110-112 is a good weight. It gives you leeway. When you're up to 117 you're too close to 120 and the upper stratosphere where we've both been. The only thing is that it seems easier to gain when you're so low.

Runner - Saturday Aug 28, 2004

Weight: 114.0

Well, I've already "gained" back one pound that I supposedly lost. Ah, well...that's what will happen when I allow my "nightly snacking" to get out of control. Last night, I had a big and healthy dinner, but gave in to the temptation to eat a brownie with peanut butter and some chocolate pudding before bedtime. Yikes! That's a good 700 calories minimum!

Time to get back on track. Time to eat like I did in China...I had to eat to live, not live to eat!

I started training for my next half-marathon. I ran over an hour this morning...mentally, it's tough, since I haven't run in a half-marathon race since last December. So even though I've continued to exercise, I haven't pushed myself to be competitive. The weather is so hot, though...I'll be glad when it starts to cool down! It's at least 80 degrees at 8:00am here!

UPDATE----It's now 8:00pm, and I just finished off three more brownies, some peanut butter, and more chocolate pudding. It really doesn't matter if everything was "low fat." It's all high in calories, and I'm disappointed in myself. I know better than to just slide down the slippery hill of binge eating...I know that it's destructive both mentally and physically. Thankfully, the brownies are all gone now. I should have never made them...they always get me into trouble!

gigi43 on 08/29/2004:
I, too, had a binge of sorts last night - 4 chocolate chip cookies the kids and I made from a mix. But, you know what, I don't even feel guilty because for some reason I just wanted to do it. You should see the binges my brother goes on! He is also a runner and he mostly eats really well but when he gets it in his head that he is going to break his diet, he does not even attempt to hold back! For example: a large pepperoni pizza, a foot long turkey sub, a half a bag of Dorritos, and two-thirds of a chocolate cream pie - all in one day! He is my inspiration for not feeling bad about binging!

borntocry on 08/30/2004:
Hi Runner,

Thanks for the encouraging comment and compliments you left me! I was thinking about you while watching the Olympics... and I have a question/suggestion for you. Have you ever thought about training for the triathlon?? I was really wishing I could do it myself but I can't swim!

Don't feel bad about the chocolate and peanut butter binge. Your body was probably still deprived from being in China. Baking is really risky for me too... and yet I feel the urge coming on quite strong this week!

I agree with you completely - it's time to start eating to live instead of living to eat. That's what I'm trying to do these days. As I told geevee, when I feel like snacking I try to distract myself by thinking of something else. If I'm still thinking of food after five or ten minutes, I assume that I'm actually hungry and need to eat, but often the feeling passes.

Anyway, good luck and stay strong!

legcramps on 08/30/2004:
You know what sometimes works for me? When I bake something, I usually take 3/4 of it right away, pack it up and throw it in the freezer. If you pack it separately, you don't have to bring it all out just to have one piece, and if it's in the freezer, it's away from eyesight. It works for me, sometimes I even forget that it's there! Good luck today and work hard for that marathon!

geevee on 08/30/2004:
Tsk. tsk.

You keep reminding me of all the goodies I haven't eaten in a year. One of these days it'll be my turn to crash. Every time I leave the house I think about those Checkers fries and the McD's sundaes. I even checked out the sale prices of big bags of M&M's, Mounds and Hershey's. I was literally salivating but somehow was able to NOT pick up a bag of sweets. Fortunately I don't bake, mainly because all I have is a toaster oven and if I was truly determined, I'd turn out some great desserts. Just keep running! That'll keep you nice and slim.

Runner - Thursday Aug 26, 2004

Weight: 114.0

I'm back and a 3-lb. weight loss registered on my scale this morning! I'm always very hesitant to record any type of weight loss, because my weight fluctuates so much, but I know that I probably lost something during my two-week stay in China. Of course, my first temptation is to eat, eat, eat the food that I've missed. (like fresh veggies and fruits and homemade baked goods).

It's great to be back, though. And I went running in my neighborhood this morning and breathed cleaner air...ahhh...it was nice. Beijing is so polluted!

legcramps on 08/27/2004:
Have a great weekend!

subway girl on 08/27/2004:
Congrats on the 3 lbs! There's no place like home :) Thanks for all of your suggestions on the sweets. That is interesting about the sugary breakfast cereals. I really, really do enjoy jogging! And I do feel so good afterwards. Have a good day.

geevee on 08/27/2004:
Aren't you glad you had those hot fudge sundaes and ice cream cones? Now you have a nice little leeway so you can treat yourself to some home baked goodies. Enjoy!

Runner - Wednesday Aug 25, 2004

Weight: 114.0

One more day in China, and then I get to go home! Wahoo! I've really enjoyed most of my trip here, but after another greasy lunch, I'm ready to start eating my own food again! The crazy thing about lunch was that the food was really, really good. So I had to be careful not to overeat. When we were finished eating, I looked at the plates, and the amount of oil that was still sitting there was unreal. It's crazy how when the food is brought out and hot, the oil doesn't look as bad. But after it sits there for awhile and most of the food is eaten, all that remains is the oil. Ugh! It would gross out the average American, that's for sure! I try to blot my food on my napkins to get some of the grease off of it, but I know that the Chinese look at me funny when I do that...and I end up going through a lot of napkins.

Anyway...I've managed to work out every single day I've been here. And I think I've done a fairly good job of not eating too much...although I did indulge in a little more ice cream last night. I crave ice cream when I eat so many salty foods. It just tastes so good!

But I haven't baked in two weeks, and that's been nice. Usually I lose control in my own kitchen after making a pan of brownies or something. So one good thing about traveling is not having access to an oven!

legcramps on 08/25/2004:
Good job!

Becoming on 08/25/2004:
u did awesome workin out everyday on ur vacation... congrats on ur accomplishment!

geevee on 08/25/2004:
The blotting helps a lot. I only did it a couple of times because of all the nasty stares I was getting from others in our group. No one else did it but me out of sheer necessity. I couldn't bear all that grease every day.

Runner - Sunday Aug 22, 2004

Weight: 114.0

I'm at a new hotel now. This scale in the gym says that my weight is up a pound. But I'm just taking it all with a grain of salt until I go home to the scale that I'm used to weighing myself on.

Last night I found a Western restaurant and had a fudge brownie sundae (that I split with my husband) and it was so good. But the rest of the day, I ate very healthy and didn't snack like I normally do. Plus, we walked for a good three hours around the city. So it's odd that my weight is "up." Who knows?

Anyway...I had to laugh at the comments on the chicken feet! It is SO gross to see women and young children knawing on a chicken foot...they are considered delicacies here! Why? I have NO IDEA! I also saw some grilled scorpions on a stick a few days ago. Yikes!

When Chinese women see me picking at the food, they always wonder why I'm not eating "like an American." (eating a lot) I usually point to the big puddle of oil in the dish and tell them that I never cook with oil myself. They are usually shocked. No wonder---oil is it's own category on their food pyramid.

Well, I don't want to cut on the Chinese all the time...it's just that their food is NOT DIET FRIENDLY. (unless you want to eat sticky white rice all day...isn't that just converted to sugar once it hits your bloodstream?)

Three more days until I'm back home! I've had a wonderful trip, but I'm ready to start cooking for myself again!

subway girl on 08/22/2004:
Good job on the 2 pounds, hope your "pig out" doesn't hurt it! I have a question for you, and the reason is because you run. I don't really run, very occasionally, but I do walk. I'm sure being a runner and all you have to deal with runners cramps. I get runners cramps really bad when I run, and even when I walk, only not as severe. Do you have any good tips for how to keep from getting cramps or how to get rid of them quickly? Thanks, and keep up the good work :)

geevee on 08/23/2004:
My son said that the Chinese think that fat is good for you and very healthy! He also commented on how the Japanese teenagers are gaining weight from hanging out at McD's all afternoon eating fries and whatever. In Osaka there is no other place for them to go so every McD's is filled with middle and high schoolers who snack all day on fast food.

The sundae you had reminded me of McD's 99� hot fudge sundae that I used to gorge on every day last Aug. when I discovered it and then promptly stopped when DD's took its place. Good choice! You walked yours off, that's for sure, but how were you able to SHARE a sundae? I'd have to eat the whole thing.

subway girl on 08/24/2004:
Thank you for helping me with my question. I will take all your advice into consideration! Even the ice cream...! I have tried a reduced fat ice cream once, but the lack of flavor and satisfaction caused me to continue eating, and eating, and eating it! Normally I am really good with my portion sizes w/ the full fat version! It's funny you mention turkey hill! I also really enjoy it, but most of the time we buy the weis brand ice cream because it is less espensive.

I started reading some of your diary at the beginning and noticed that I could also really relate to what you said! I used to never touch pb, then i went through a phase where i would eat it by the table spoon! Now I rarely eat it again. I also used to do the same thing with desserts, like cake or donuts... eat the frosting/filling and throw the rest away! And I would do it in private also! I haven't had a weird "attack/binge" like that in a long time. Even though that was over a year ago for you, I thought I would share my similar story.

I was also wondering why you are in Asia. I think it is really neat that you got to live there for a while! I would like to visit there some day.

Runner - Saturday Aug 21, 2004

Weight: 114.0

Last night, I pigged out. For a whole week, I managed not to overeat on the greasy Chinese food (it wasn't hard, believe me!), but last night, we got to eat at the hotel...an all-you-can-eat buffet. And let me tell you, it was amazing! There were all sorts of foods, (including real cheese!!!) but the best part was the desserts. Yes, I had real chocolate...in the form of ice cream, fudgy brownie bites, and cake.

I probably screwed up the two pounds that I lost, but at the moment, I don't care. Honestly, food hasn't tasted that good in a looong time. And except for the desserts, I made wise choices---I stuck to the sushi, veggies, shrimp dishes, and chicken breast. (REAL chicken breast...I haven't had that in ages!!! Chinese only eat chicken feet and thighs and legs...ugh!)

So....that was a real treat.

I'm still managing to run here in Beijing, but Geevee is right. The air is dirty. So I've spent more time in the pool in my hotel.

I've gotten back on track today with the food thing. This next week, I'll have a bit more flexibility in my meals...so I'm hoping to keep it simple, low-fat, and healthy. NO MORE GREASY VEGGIES, please!

geevee on 08/21/2004:
Oh my! The buffet had REAL cheese and chocolate??That's a rarity! And chicken breast to boot. Come to think of it, I never did have it or see it when I was in China. My son told me about the chicken feet when he was in Yichang. The Chinese couldn't understand why he didn't eat them. There is so little of our favorite foods available in China, you really have to take advantage of the situation and not worry about your weight. You KNOW there won't be much "good stuff", so help yourself! Do they serve "real" coffee or the make believe brown colored water probably brewed from soy beans? I learned to love Nescafe when I found it in my hotel. It was almost like a gourmet drink compared to the tasteless alternative.

Your hotel sounds very nice. I've never seen a scale in any hotel I've ever stayed in. It seems like something the Japanese would provide.

Coco on 08/21/2004:
I wouldn't feel guilty at all about enjoying some chocolate if I were you. You have a healthy lifestyle and don't need to lose weight. Everyone deserves a treat once in a while - especially when you're far from home surrounded by foods like chicken feet and turnip cakes!

geevee on 08/22/2004:
PS - My son in Japan called this morning and we talked about chicken feet among other topics. He said that the Japanese, too, love it along with pigs feet. Once he saw a very well-dressed gal walking down the street gnawing on the cartilege, fat and bone of a pig's foot,holding on to it as one would an ice cream cone. Arghhh! It seems that almost everyone at the ghetto super market I go to once a week for a few specials buys a 10lb. bag of pig's feet.

The subject of food brought up the fact that I need to send another C.A.R.E. package of black beans and corn meal. When he was in China it was coffee and cheese. And more cheese.

Runner - Friday Aug 20, 2004

Weight: 114.0

Well, according to the scale in my gym hotel, I've lost two pounds...but I'm taking it with a grain of salt! I only have one more week in Beijing, but I'm already sick of the same old food every day. Ah, well. I've learned how to avoid eating very much at meals and have gone back to my room to eat my healthy snacks instead. At least I have my own breakfast! Packing cereal and dry milk may be a hassle, but it sure is better than eating fried turnip cakes or kimchee at 7:00am!

legcramps on 08/20/2004:
I see what you mean! You're doing great, keep it up! How's the exercising going?

geevee on 08/20/2004:
I just can't imagine kim chee for breakfast! And of course the mandatory gluey blob of rice, and GREASY fried turnip cakes. God! It sounds worse than when I was there. If it weren't for the Shingtao beer, I never would have made it! Yup. Mainland China is THE place to lose weight! Maybe you'll go back to Taipei several pounds lighter. Is butter and cheese still a rarity? On the TESOL group I used to subscribe to, teachers would get out the word whenever they found them.

geevee on 08/20/2004:
PS - You don't want to run in Beijing with all that sand in the air from the Gobi Dessert. I'll never forget those clouds of dust swept by the ladies. Beijing is definitely NOT the place to go for anyone with lung problems. DO try to see Xian. It's really something! Also, the Forbidden City, Ming Tombs.

Runner - Tuesday Aug 17, 2004

Weight: 116.0

I'm in China, and I got access to a computer! So, of course, I had to check in on my friends here! :) I'm actually doing okay, food-wise. I'm so sick of Chinese food already. We get to eat a Western-style breakfast, but every other meal is Chinese. Of course, all my Chinese friends think the taste is different at each restaurant, but I think it all tastes the same. So I'm not overeating, that's for sure! I'm very glad I brought along my snacks...they're coming in handy!

So far, I've gotten enough exercise, too, although my runs are a bit shorter because running in China is NOT all that easy. But the hotel has a weight room, so that's good. And I've used the pool a couple of times.

Anyway, you know how I thought I'd get away from the scale? Guess what I found in the bathroom of my hotel room? A really nice scale! I've NEVER had a personal scale in a hotel room before...can you believe it? So, of course, my curiosity got the better of me. According to the scale, I haven't GAINED weight...so that's good!

Anyway...Geevee, it's comforting to know that you've been here and experienced the GREASY food. Even in the fanciest of restaurants, it's all greasy. Ugh.

How I'm craving a simple chicken breast salad...

legcramps on 08/17/2004:
Having fun in China?! I hate 'westernized' chinese food, the buffets and all those things. I think that's super greasy, so I can only imagine how greasy it is where you are. I don't think i'd be able to last on such greasy food. I know I don't eat it here in Canada. It rolls my stomach just thinking about it! Have a great day today!

geevee on 08/19/2004:
Keep it up, Runner! Your reminder of GREASE will help me get through today. I've had this terrible urge for a Checkers burger AND fries. Even though they're greasy, they're SO good! I tried to fill up on homemade, sensible soup I made yesterday but it didn't do a thing for me. BTW, did you read my comment about the Seinfeld cafe? Just curious. hey, it might even have some edible food!

Runner - Wednesday Aug 11, 2004

Weight: 116.0

Why is my weight continuing to climb? I've "gained" a full 3 pounds since Saturday.


yesterday, I consumed about 1800 calories, I think. BUT, I ran for an hour, did speed-walking for a half hour, and lifted weights.

What gives? Shouldn't I be able to eat at least 1800 calories with a workout like that?

We're in the middle of a typhoon right now...but I'm so stubborn that I ran this morning through ankle-deep puddles and plenty of wind. Sure, people stared at me. I don't care. I was discouraged over the weight gain.

So I leave for China tomorrow...two weeks without my scale. In some ways, I'm looking forward to that...

geevee on 08/15/2004:
Be careful that you're not served dog, cat or rat! I hope you're able to see Xian. That place blew my mind! Also, if you are a Seinfeld fan, there's a cafe in Beijing that shows Seinfeld episodes. What a neat idea! I know it's a huge city, but if you are a fan, it would be interesting to check out. Maybe you'll be in contact with some ex-pats who know about it.

geevee on 08/15/2004:
Be careful that you're not served dog, cat or rat! I hope you're able to see Xian. That place blew my mind! Also, if you are a Seinfeld fan, there's a cafe in Beijing that shows Seinfeld episodes. What a neat idea! I know it's a huge city, but if you are a fan, it would be interesting to check out. Maybe you'll be in contact with some ex-pats who know about it.

Runner - Tuesday Aug 10, 2004

Weight: 115.5

Well, I thought I was going to finish my day yesterday well...after the brownie incident, I really did aim to get back on track. So I had a very low-cal snack, a healthy dinner, and then lost it again. I indulged in 1/2 cup of very good ice cream before bed...and then thought I needed some protein to balance out the carbs, so I had some jerkey. Of course, I saw some candy then, too, so I ate a piece of that. Finally, I brushed my teeth and went to bed!

Weight was a half pound up today. No surprise there!

I did run for an hour this morning. I'm starting to train for another half marathon. So maybe I'll burn off those sweets in the next few days!

I'm traveling to China for two weeks on Friday...business trip. The only thing I'm nervous about is the food. I both love and hate to travel...I love that I can be away from my kitchen for awhile, where I'm always tempted to bake and eat goodies. I hate it that I sometimes have absolutely no control over my meals. Exercise is always an issue, too. I've run in many different countries and States, but I don't think China is very runner-friendly. Where there's a will, there's a way, though! I'm a very determined athlete!

At least half of my luggage will probably be the snacks that I'm packing---protein bars, cereal, dried milk, beef jerkey, tuna packs, etc. Most of it is protein-related, since I can rarely find lean protein anywhere in Asia. It's all fatty and fried.

Traveling in America is SO much easier. Sure, there are a lot of tempting restaurants. But at least I know I can ALWAYS find a grocery store and buy healthy snacks. That convenience is NOT guaranteed in mainland China! In fact, buying healthy snacks is usually not an option!

legcramps on 08/11/2004:
Great job on planning ahead and taking your own protein-laden food. Especially if you want to start training again. Do you particularly watch your diet when you're training, or will it be much the same as before?

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