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Runner - Monday Jan 29, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

BTC is right. It's time for me to do what works. Obviously, exercise isn't making me lose weight. So cutting calories, specifically FAT calories, is my last approach. I gave up peanut butter for 3 years---I can certainly give it up again. The problem is that I introduced all sorts of yummy foods into my diet when I got married, and it's a lot harder to push them aside again. But I'm desperate to lose a few pounds.

I know I'm going to eat well in Hawaii (we're meeting my parents there!), and I'll indulge in things like ice cream, so I need to be extra-disciplined the next 2 weeks. I only have one major hurdle---a big Chinese New Year banquet tomorrow night. THANKFULLY, though, those dinners always revolve around seafood, so that's a lot better than pasta or desserts! I'll just have to be strict on the portion control.

There was an interesting article on MSN this morning:


sweetpea1977 on 01/31/2007:
A low fat diet sounds good to me, Runner!

Enjoy Hawaii and all the ice cream!! :o)

Oh, and thanks for the interesting article!

Runner - Monday Jan 29, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

So much for cutting the fat in my diet. The last 2 days I have been craving peanut butter and have given in to my cravings.

Now the peanut butter is all gone, and I'm NOT buying any more. I feel like all I do is exercise, work and eat. It's a vicious cycle. I work out 3+ hours a day, but I still gain weight when I eat anything over 1500 calories. It's insane. I wish I could eat whatever I want, but I can't. I just can't. And I'm no closer to my goal than I was a week ago.

geevee on 01/29/2007:
Ahhh. Here we are once again in the same sinking boat. It never gets easier. I am so exasperated. I've been eyeing my jar of peanut butter too. It's been at least 6mos. since I've had any and the idea is beginning to take over.

I can't eat more than 1500 cal. a day either. At that level, I'm lucky to barely maintain. I haven't even been able to do that!

Donkey on 01/29/2007:
Right there with ya, Runner. It was a bad weekend.

borntocry on 01/29/2007:
I can't believe it - I feel the exact same way! That's exactly what I am always saying to myself, too - that all I do is exercise, work and eat! And I don't exercise anywhere near as much as you (and I doubt I work as much as you) so I can only imagine how much worse it must be for you! I think we need a holiday - but not an ordinary holiday with all the stress of resisting holiday temptations and inevitably gaining weight afterwards regardless, but a holiday from our LIVES!!

But since that's not going to happen any time soon, the only advice I can give you is to try to stop thinking in terms of how many hours of exercise you do being somehow equivalent to how much you can eat. I know, that's how it seems to work for normal people, but not for you! You've been complaining about this conundrum for years now but it seems there's just no way around it. You might as well cut yourself some slack on the exercise as I really don't think it does you any good. Do it to relax or have fun but don't do it to lose weight because that's not happening!

(Perhaps it's not actually <i>exercise</i> which helps people lose weight, but <i>the process of getting fitter</i>. And since you're already about as fit as anyone can be, you aren't actually getting any fitter no matter how much you exercise. Does that make sense?!)

Seriously, if the low-fat thing worked for you in the past, give it another try! And stick to it this time! Surely you can give up peanut butter for a few days, Runner! You deserve to give this your best shot!

Runner - Wednesday Jan 24, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.0

You know, I may be keeping my calories low enough to lose at least a half pound a week, but I don't feel any smaller or thinner, and I think my food choices are the problem.

This week, I've been eating calorically-dense foods---like nuts. It's so strange, because I'm not usually a "nuts" kind of gal, but someone gave me a big bag of amazing trail mix and I've just found myself snacking on nuts, raisins, and M&Ms. Even though I've somehow figured my snacks into my daily calorie limit, I think I'm making poor choices with trying to eat fatty foods. With all the exercise I do, I should be able to have a handful of nuts here and there, but it seems like I can't lose weight that way. And it's not just nuts---I love peanut butter and cheese, and those kinds of food go straight to my hips as well.

SO...I leave for Hawaii 3 weeks from today. As of RIGHT NOW, I am drastically cutting the fat in my diet. Don't give me the advice about how we all need a little bit of fat---I know that, okay? It's just that I have never lost weight by eating FATTY FOODS. When I lost 40 pounds about 8 years ago, I did it by going on a virtually fat-free diet. That means I eat a lot of veggies and fruits and complex carbs. This is what I'm going to try. With my kind of body, I can't afford to pack on more weight in my hips and butt. I look so funny that way, since my legs are nice and thin and toned from running.

Anyway...here's to my personal 3-week challenge! ONLY low-fat foods from here on out! I want to lose 3 more pounds! (at least!)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/24/2007:
i agree. whenever my diet was high(er) fat, i feel i didn't do as good a job burning calories! just don't slack on eating too little carbs, or you'll have no energy to run. I've noticed my energy is higher if i incorporate a little more carbs. for instance, at dinner, i was going to have peppers, smoked salmon, and a yogurt. however, i traded the strained full of protein yogurt for an apple and I think that was a definite better choice.

smiley2 on 01/25/2007:
Good luck! Imagine yourself in Hawaii, feeling comfortable in a bikini, looking great!!!

borntocry on 01/25/2007:
Personally I have always believed that a calorie is a calorie, no matter where it comes from. But we all know that it isn't so simple. Certainly from my own experience I've found that I lose weight more quickly on a low-carbohydrate diet. And that's exactly the kind of diet which I always used to ridicule before! I think that if you've had good luck with something in the past, you should definitely give it a try. Hopefully, your previous success will give you confidence to see it through. It's only 21 days - you can do this! GO RUNNER!

Umpqua on 01/25/2007:
If cutting out fat is what it takes, I say go for it! Hawaii is certainly a good motivator. I know what you mean about the odd proportions too - I'm sure my legs aren't nearly as toned as yours, but they're much thinner than the rest of me now, and I think I look weird with such a thick midsection. I can't wait to get rid of it!

Runner - Monday Jan 22, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.0

I'm still 118. I managed to salvage the day on Friday and stayed under 2000 calories. (I think)

Saturday was a good day; Sunday was more difficult. I was given a jar of organic peanut butter and it was just toooo good not to eat by the spoonful! Six hundred (or more?) calories later, I shoved it in the freezer. I'll probably never touch it again. It's just those inital times when I open something for the first time that i have a hard time eating in moderation.

This is a super-busy week for me, so I'll try to check in when I can, but I may not have time for comments. Next week will be better!

Oh---BTC, I ran 8 miles this weekend! I thought of you! I hope you didn't have to run in the rain!!

borntocry on 01/22/2007:
That's funny - I prefer the taste of commercial peanut butter. That's why I buy the organic kind - I find it less tempting. Also the organic kind is cheaper here! Isn't that funny? It's because peanut butter isn't very common here, so it's either organic or imported from America. And I've just found out that the commercial kind may actually be healthier for us. Apparently the processing removes more of the alfatoxins found in peanuts. Crazy, huh?<br><br>So you ran 8 miles too! You know, I was on the verge of cutting my run short but then I thought, "I can't let my running buddy down!" So you were my inspiration! And I had a great run, in spite of the rain! So thank you!

tourguidebarbie on 01/22/2007:
Never tried organtic PB... But i love my jiff! :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/22/2007:
you really think organic pb is that good! lol, i think all peanut butter is good!

Runner - Thursday Jan 18, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.0

Yesterday was a good day.

Today has been terrible. I don't know what got into me---it's been a long time since I've had a real binge, but that's what I had at lunchtime today. I am so upset at myself. How could I do this the day before my weigh-in? I was so hoping to see a small loss on the scale!

I ate probably 1200 calories in one sitting...which is what some of you eat in one day! I don't think I did it because I felt "deprived." No, I don't really know WHY I did it. Am I messed up or what? I feel rather sick now and lethargic. I can't concentrate, and I could just kick myself for ruining a good week.

I am not going to eat again until my stomach growls, even if it's late tonight or tomorrow morning!

How can I weigh myself now? Surely the scale will be up!

borntocry on 01/19/2007:
You never know. Sometimes when I overeat early in the day, it doesn't show up on the scale the next morning. Overeating at night is the killer (not that I believe the theory that we tend to "retain" calories more at night, but just that there's less time to process the food before we weigh ourselves in the morning). If you're unsure, weigh yourself with some extra clothes on (because you're weighing yourself at the gym these days, aren't you?) just to get an idea of what your true weight is. If it looks promising, you can weigh yourself again without the extra clothes. That's what I do when I'm worried about a bad weigh-in and don't want to depress myself!

I've started doing the exact same thing after a binge - waiting until my stomach growls before I eat again! I used to promise myself that I wouldn't eat again for the rest of the day no matter what, but I never kept that promise. I guess I always knew I wouldn't be able to, so I would usually give up after a couple of hours and spend the rest of the day eating. But now I think the best plan is to simply wait until one is truly hungry again. If you ate a lot, maybe it was because you were very hungry - there's really nothing wrong with that. The important thing is not to use it as an excuse to keep eating when you're not hungry any more.

Also, you need some energy stores to run 8 miles this weekend! Yep, that's what I'm going to do, on Saturday. I'm going to use mapmyrun.com to plan my route! Last weekend I did just under 7 miles, so this weekend I am aiming for 7-8. Shall we do it together?!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/19/2007:
I like BTC's wearing clothing idea for weighing yourself. If you like what you see, then do it again without clothes. At least the binge wasn't as bad as it could have been. maybe it's not enough food to offset the scale too much! Have a good rest of the day. :)

geevee on 01/19/2007:
I'm always amazed at the total number of calories I'm able to wolf down with no trouble at all even when I'm not that hungry. With me it's the cummulative effect of the entire day that destroys me. 2000 cal. is like nothing! All those 2500+ days in Dec. and Jan. Ahhh, no wonder I'm so fat!

The other problem is being able to distinguish between actually being hungry and just wanting to eat. I can't tell the difference.

Runner - Wednesday Jan 17, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.0

Well, I didn't goof up with my ice cream dessert (which was a big hit, by the way!), but I did break my detox goals with some other foods. I was craving cereal so badly...and had some candy, too. So I'm going to go back to detoxing today. My plan is to avoid sugar at all costs. Of all the foods I should avoid, sugar is at the top of the list!

In other news, I leave for Hawaii 4 weeks from today. Four weeks and four pounds to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/17/2007:
runner, you're doing great! Remember, sometimes when we, especially I, avoid things at all costs, it makes it much more difficult. sometimes, tell yourself you are "lessening" the thing from your diet, not necessarily avoiding it. That's what I'm doing.

borntocry on 01/18/2007:
Funny, that happens to me quite often too. I get myself all psyched up to resist a certain temptation only to end up succumbing to another one. Like sometimes I go out to eat at a restaurant and do really well but then blow it all on snacks when I get home. It sounds like you didn't do too badly, though - you didn't let one lapse turn into a full-fledged food-fest, and now you're getting back on track with your detox. That's the way to go!

Thanks for the comment you left me. I was wondering why you had broken the news about your race in such a tentative manner! Of course I wouldn't think that you were trying to steal my thunder! You're the one who told me to start running races, remember? It's hard to believe that I would never have had any of these fantastic experiences if it weren't for you. I would never have known I could be capable of such feats!

Just send me some motivational thoughts when you're lying on the couch recovering and hopefully that will cut a couple of minutes off my time! Believe me, I need all the help I can get!

Umpqua on 01/18/2007:
Kudos on not having the ice cream cake. I don't think I could have passed it up. Your Hawaii trip sounds fabulous too, and avoiding sugar sounds like a good plan. Good luck with the continued detoxing!

Runner - Tuesday Jan 16, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.0

The detox is going okay so far. I've been able to avoid anything "white," but I did indulge in some peanut butter last night. I've been eating very healthily, though...so that makes me feel good about myself!

I have a challenge, though. Tomorrow I'm going to be faced with a delicious chocolate ice cream cake that I made myself and is sitting in my freezer. I made it for a big birthday party, and everyone is going to be eating it...and I know I will want a piece! But I hate it when I say I'm going to do something (like detox for 3 days) and then I give in! So I don't want to just "give in" and eat a piece. Maybe I'll set aside a small piece to eat on Thursday...

smiley2 on 01/16/2007:
Hi Runner! Welcome back! So youre going to Hawaii!! That usually got me motivated!!!

borntocry on 01/16/2007:
Hmm... I'm never tempted by anything I've made myself unless it doesn't turn out right. If it does turn out right, I generally want to leave it for others. Perhaps you could try to do the same? If not, then do as you suggested and save yourself a piece for Thursday. Three days is not a long time for a detox - you should be able to do it! Don't let yourself down!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/16/2007:
I like BTC's suggestion. You really wanted to have the detox last 3 days. Well, this is all about YOU! therefore, you don't have to give in early just for a piece of cake now!

geevee on 01/16/2007:
You know that I'm all for saving food "for later". I still have some truffles stashed away, far back in the freezer. There is so much food in front of it that it discourages me from attempting to get to them and just have one.

borntocry on 01/17/2007:
Hey Runner! I can't believe you and I are going to be running half-marathons on the same day!! That is so cool! It's a pity you don't really have to do any extra training for your races, or we could be doing our training together. Maybe we'll at least both do some long runs before the race, right? It'll be so much fun!

With the time difference, I guess your race will actually be over well before mine! But won't it be fun for everyone to log on and read our race reports on the same day? Haha! They'll all probably be bored sick!

Runner - Sunday Jan 14, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.0

I think I'm about 118 now. It's hard to tell on those weight room scales, and I hate standing on it longer than I have to with a bunch of people around me! Ugh! It's better than weighing myself every day, though.

I'm doing a 3-day "healthy detox" with some friends here. I actually have a group of friends who are interested in losing a few pounds! So we're all giving up anything "white" for at least 3 days. No flour, sugar, milk, etc. They're all giving up most protein, but I'm allowing myself to have lean protein since I'm way more active than they are, and I know my body needs it.

I have 4 1/2 weeks until I leave for Hawaii, and I hope to be 115 pounds by then. I hope, hope, hope I can actually lose weight this time.

borntocry on 01/15/2007:
Hi Runner,

As usual, you commented on my low weight and it went up the very next day! :)

Thanks for asking about my race. It's on March 11th. Two days after my 30th birthday!! I have been thinking about you quite a lot while training, especially when I do speedwork. My full-out "sprint" for one lap is still slower than your pace for an entire half-marathon! You see, YOU are MY envy!

Good luck with your detox! I'm sure it helps to have friends who are doing it with you.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/15/2007:
Hi runner, enjoy your detox! I'm sure you'll be in high spirits when it's over!

Umpqua on 01/15/2007:
Hi Runner, it's good to see you around! That detox sounds like a good idea, I should really do something like that to jumpstart my loss. Where are you going in Hawaii? We went to Kauai a few years ago and it was beyond gorgeous.

Runner - Monday Jan 01, 2007
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

It's a new year, and I have some new goals for myself. They're simple, and I plan to keep them. I'm going to set myself up for success, not failure.

1. No bingeing. 2. Eat healthily. 3. Avoid baking.

If I can keep those 3 simple goals, I will maintain my weight and maybe even lose a pound or two. I would really like to drop 5 pounds, but I am not going to live each day obsessing about calories. I'll weigh myself once a week, starting this weekend, and I'll learn how to be hungry once in awhile.

I CAN do this. I will NOT gain another 10 pounds this year!

borntocry on 01/02/2007:
Sounds like a great plan to me! Good luck!

geevee on 01/02/2007:
I like that comment, "Learn how to be hungry once in awhile", That is SO true! Let's hope we can get our act together this year and STOP the upward climb once and for all!

sweetpea1977 on 01/04/2007:
Sounds great!

Runner - Wednesday Dec 27, 2006
(Under 1300 calories)
Weight: 118.5

I'm back from Singapore! I had a great trip...did TONS of walking, and indulged in some great food, but not to the point where I felt guilty about it.

Things are super-busy here, so I don't have much time to read through the entries or write much on mine, unfortunately.

But I feel like I've changed a lot since I broke my scale and threw it out. I feel like my weight has been less of a concern to me, even though I still have plenty of moments when I wish I were 10 pounds lighter. And even though I don't want to gain any more weight, I know that I'm at a good weight for my body and that I still look okay at this weight. I think I'm starting to realize that I'll be 30 next year and that I hope to be a mother soon. I think only BTC knows that my husband and I are adopting a child in the next few months. We don't know whether we'll get a girl or a boy...but we're in the final stages of the process, and the next step is for a mother to choose US.

All that to say...I feel like I'm ready to move on this phase in my life of allowing food to be so important and feeling like a slave to the scale. I will always count calories, and I will exercise as long as I can, but I will NOT model destructive behavior to my children. I am trying to be well...I have to make some important decisions regarding my health, and I want to do what's right for my body without analyzing every bite I put into my mouth.

But, at the same time, I need to have specific strategies in place so I don't end up falling off the wagon. For example, I have a huge buffet lunch at a fancy hotel tomorrow...and everything is going to be SO GOOD. Time to make a battle plan!

hollybelle on 12/27/2006:
WOW. It is so good to see what you wrote. I was once where you were when you broke the scales. Freedom from the captivity of the scales/body image and food does exist. It's out there and it sounds like you are ready to grab some. You are definitely on to something here - hang on to the feelings/thoughts you expressed in this post. Having a child changes everything - a simple understatement you can only know the true extent of when your child arrives. Best wishes to you as you embark on parenthood. Wishing you ALL God's blessings and a Happy New Year 2007.

borntocry on 12/27/2006:
Hi Runner! Welcome back! I heard there was an earthquake in your part of the world - hope it didn't affect you?

I'm glad you had a nice vacation, and also that you seem to be coming to terms with your weight and your body. I understand your frustration at having maintained such a low weight in the past, and having done everything possible to get back to it, but there comes a time when you have to accept yourself for who you are. You're still thin and extraordinarily fit, and that's something to be proud about!

Soon2BThin on 12/27/2006:
Good luck with your adoption process. I wish you all the best! I'm glad to see you're not obsessing about the weight and food thing anymore. As long as you feel great and look good (and I'm sure you do) things are going well. So take care and enjoy the buffet lunch, it's only one meal!!

geevee on 12/27/2006:
Once you get that baby/child and experience motherhood, you'll realize how UNIMPORTANT your preoccupation with weight has been.

Until a person has a child, he/she really doesn't understand what life is all about.

smiley2 on 12/28/2006:
Hi Runner! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas time! Glad you and your DH have decided to adopt a child! What a wonderful, new beginning to your life. Good luck! Wx

sweetpea1977 on 12/28/2006:
Runner, Im SO happy for you!!

Im glad you had a great time on your Christmas vacation. Im sooooo glad that you are no longer going to be a slave to the scale. Noone deserves that kind of torture. Thankfully, with your health conscious background and mindset, you will do just fine. Then once that special child comes into your life, you will realize what is truly important in life. If you dont believe me, ask Umpqua about it. She's a mommy now and is loving it! :o)

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