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Runner - Friday May 02, 2003

Weight: 118.0

I know weight fluctuation is normal, but I ate abnormally yesterday, so I deserve the extra pound or so. I love running for a long period of time, but I trick myself psychologically into thinking I HAVE to eat more because of it...so yesterday, I had about 700 or 800 extra calories...in things like candy, peanut butter, frosting, etc. Most of it wasn't even good for my body! I've made a deal with myself. WHen I do have candy (maybe once or twice a week), I'm going to keep it to under 150 calories. Once I get started, it's really bad. I'm trying to keep my sweet tooth under control. I appreciated the comment yesterday about eating healthy dried fruit. Another thing that sometimes helps my sweet tooth are protein shakes...I have the low-calorie chocolate kind, and they do taste pretty good. Anyway...I want to have a GOOD weekend. The last three have been pretty rough with lots of food and goodies.

Why do so many special occasions revolve around food?????????????

krazzierebel on 05/02/2003:
special occasions! yuck i hate those! i always tend to gain a million pounds after a day of those! grrrr.. well keep up the good work!!! next time u run 3 miles run one for me! (its sooo hard to run with a broken ankle! although it's getting better!)hope all ur goals come true!


Runner - Thursday May 01, 2003

Weight: 117.5

I'm back to normal!!!!!! Yea! Maybe it's because I got almost 8 full hours of sleep last night...or because I went another day without candy! That is such an accomplishment, because I bought some Easter candy at 50% off that I REALLY like, and I haven't opened it yet...and it's been over a week! I had a good 8-mile run this morning. I'm really looking forward to the big race next week. I've been wanting to run a 25K for 6 years. Just a reminder to those of you who may have only started to read my entries: "skinny people" have issues with food, too! My weight may look low, but I've been much higher than that...and I've had to really work hard to maintain this weight. Last night, I started to have some peanut butter, but stopped before it got out-of-control. That is one food that I can easily overdo it on...and I've managed to maintain control around it for a month, which is encouraging.

biscottibody59 on 05/01/2003:
Eight miles--is that outdoors or on a treadmill--impressive! I wish you the best on your 25K--is that about 15 miles???

Have a good one and keep up the good work!

livingnow on 05/01/2003:
hope you have a nice day for your 25k race..and lots of nice company running and watching.....have you ever thought about enjoying dried fruit instead of refined candy....medjoel dates for instance are so yummy and shhh even good for you..so you would not throw your body off balance by eating them...natures natural candy is guilt free.....enjoy

Runner - Wednesday Apr 30, 2003

Weight: 118.5

I went all yesterday without eating any candy...it was hard, but worth it. I think I maintained my 1,800 calories. At one point, I ate too much turkey that I'd picked up from a deli...what a weird thing to binge on! They had a cajun-flavored turkey lunchmeat, and I ordered 1/2 pound of it. Well, then I wanted to try it, so I made two mistakes: 1. I tried it on the way home in my car (I always eat more when I'm driving and not fully concentrating on the food) 2. I rationalized that I could have extra since I'd been "good" all day (but calories are still calories!)

ANyway, it could have been worse. And I'm back to 118 1/2 pounds.

On another note, I'm training for a 25K run for next Saturday. You'd think that running 5-10 miles a day would help me lose two pounds...ha! Instead, I gained two pounds! Anyway...it's probably because I tend to eat more when I'm training.

I came up with a recipe for a low-calorie snack: Make a box of sugar free strawberry jello and whisk in two tablespoons of low-cal sugar free strawberry jam. It adds some thickness and "punch." It was quite yummy! (And only 10 calories a serving!)

Runner - Tuesday Apr 29, 2003

Weight: 119.5

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....another pound up. THis adds to my confusion and anxiety. I met with my nutritionist yesterday, which is always an encouragement...but I must have overdone it on the snacks again. I'm getting lazy, I think. So I'm determined to keep my snacks to 500 calories total every day. I get myself in such trouble when I expand that number to 800 or 1000. It's so easy to add 200 extra calories...and so hard to burn it off! I wish I didn't like to eat so much...I wish I didn't feel a compulsion to eat so often.

I admire those of you who have a diet and stick with it. I was three pounds lighter three weeks ago...simply because I have trouble saying "no" to those goodies!

Runner - Monday Apr 28, 2003

Weight: 118.5

Still the same...I'm not too bummed, since I had a lot of goodies this weekend at the bridal shower and stuff like that. I have been doing better, though, about only having ONE piece of something I like, instead of three. I did have a moment of weakness today, though. There was cake in the teachers' lounge, and I started sneaking it when no one was looking. After a big piece, I realized that I was eating food that I didn't even want...it's not even a cake that I normally like! So I stopped. ANd I'm not even going back there again so I don't tempt myself.

I ended up giving away most of the leftover shower food, too...funny how I don't even miss it! It's weird, because I always have this attachment to goodies I bake, but I feel much better after I give them away so I don't end up eating all of them!

Runner - Friday Apr 25, 2003

Weight: 118.5

Somehow I'm down a pound, and I shouldn't be...I had an awful night last night! I felt like I woke up with a "hangover," but it definitely wasn't from alcohol! (I don't drink, period). Instead, I overdid it on food and paid for it greatly. Let me explain.

I was having a good day until I tried making these fancy homemade ice cream sandwiches for my sisters' bridal shower this weekend. Well, much to my dismay, the ice cream was too soft and runny and didn't spread well on the brownies, and the brownies weren't hard enough to hold up the ice cream...so without thinking, I started eating the brownies and the leftover ice cream because I was so frustrated! I wasn't even realizing what I was doing until I started to feel sick. Honestly, I don't know how much I ate. I ended up using the extra brownies to make a whipped cream trifle, which I know will taste good, but I was so disappointed that the original idea didn't work.

Right after I had that 5-minute binge time, I felt terrible. In fact, I needed to let off some of my anxiety, and I went outside for a run. (The whole time this was happening, my husband was gone...I rarely lose it when he's around). I ended up running for a half hour, which cleared my mind, and then I came back and did stretching exercises and crunches. But I was so wound up that I couldn't sleep...and couldn't sleep...and the chocolate was keeping my mind awake...and several hours later, I was still lying in bed.

Therefore, I received only several hours of sleep, felt pretty sick to my stomach, and spent some time this morning feeling a bit "hung over" from my binge. Let me tell you, it wasn't worth it. Those 5 minutes of stuffing my face was NOT worth it. I think I've learned a lesson here. Food can be a big problem when abused. I should know...caffeine keeps me awake, sugar adds pounds to my body, and I only feel badly about myself when I lose control.

So...today is a new day. I'm feeling better now, after my workout this morning and my high-fiber cereal for breakfast. The brownie dessert is in the freezer, where it should be...it doesn't even look the slightest bit tempting. Too much of a good thing can definitely be a bad thing. That's my lesson for the day.

Golightly on 04/25/2003:
Well, today you are the one providing the proverb! I am glad you were able to recover from your little "slip" ... but sad to read that you didn't sleep AGAIN last night! You must be exhausted by now!

I have no control when it comes to chocolate, so I don't allow myself to eat it. I would have binged on the brownies, and then later ate the trifle! So I still think you are strong!

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure we can all relate to it!

Take care!

Kerry79 on 04/26/2003:
That's the problem with that kind of food isn't it. It takes you two mintues to eat it and then hours to stop feeling guilty! Kerry x

Runner - Thursday Apr 24, 2003

Weight: 119.5

Well, the scales didn't budge this morning, although I did get a better rest last night! I could wallow in self-pity, since I am a good two pounds heavier than I was last Thursday, but I'm going to try to look on the bright side: I tried on a pair of pants that I bought two years ago when I was at least 5 pounds lighter, and they still fit! So that's a plus. In fact, they're not tight at all...so MAYBE, just MAYBE, I put on some muscle, and not fat.

I think I'm still taking in a couple hundred too many calories a day, though...so I need to lay off on the snacks a bit.

This weekend I have a bridal shower, and I'm preparing all the food...it's very dangerous for me, since I often like to sample everything I make...you know, make some extra so I can "try it." I really have to be careful, or I'll end up trying half the cake!!!!

Runner - Wednesday Apr 23, 2003

Weight: 119.5

Man, I am so thankful for the people who have written with suggestions and helpful information! Thanks to those who commented on my last entry. I'm not sure why I'm not sleeping well, but if I have caffeine before bed, it keeps me up. I never drink caffeinated pop, but once in awhile I'll have something with chocolate in it, and that might do it. For example, I had added cocoa powder to the angel food cake I made yesterday, but I figured that it was such a small amount that it wouldn't affect me...who knows? I'm usually VERY careful about the caffeine thing. It never affected me until I was diagnosed with hypothyroidianism...and my body has never been the same!

Maybe the reason I was down a couple of pounds two weeks ago was because I was on Spring break...and getting enough rest...and not working so long every day...hmmmmm...something to consider! Since I'm a teacher and I get my summers off, I usually relax quite a bit. I know that I never seem to worry about my weight during the summer months since I'm quite active and stress-free.

I guess it's a good thing I only have 7 more weeks of school!!!!!!!!! Although I do want to learn how to relax more during the week...maybe I'll take a bath tonight! I've heard that helps.

Golightly on 04/24/2003:
Yah, caffeine is a killer. I keep trying to quit, but I love diet pepsi so much that it's hard. Also, every time I try to quit, I get real bad withdrawal headaches and feel tired! Next thing you know, I'm drinking the diet pepsi again! (I actually have a theory that diet pepsi is addictive and that they secretly put some sort of drug in it ... but I won't go into my conspiracy theory here!)

I hope you have a relaxing summer. Lots of sleep, fresh produce ... girl, you will be losing weight every week! Ah, only 7 more weeks for you!

Take care!

Runner - Wednesday Apr 23, 2003

Weight: 119.5

Thanks to my friends who left encouraging comments about my last entry. Unfortunately, this morning was worse! Somehow I've gained 3 1/2 pounds in two short weeks...the scale was even higher this morning! I KNOW that I haven't consumed an excess of 10,000 calories...I was so good yesterday! I did have some angel food cake, but I was pretty careful all day about what I ate and stayed far away from candy and lots of snacks. So this morning, when I came back from the gym, I was pretty upset. I just threw my gym clothes on the floor and ranted and raved for a couple of minutes to my husband. I think part of my frustration is that I haven't slept well in 3 nights...I've barely had 5 hours of sleep each night. I have no idea what my problem is...usually I sleep well.

I did some research this morning and found that a decrease in sleep can drastically affect hormone, glucose, and cortisol levels, which can lead to weight gain. I'd love to be able to blame the extra pounds on something like that, because I really can't see how I'm gaining it from what I eat. Yes, I did have a bad day on Sunday, but I've had great days since then, and continued to work out a couple of times a day, whether I'm walking, running, weight training, or doing toning videos.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm banging my head up against a wall. Two weeks ago, I was getting plenty of sleep and feeling a lot less stressed. Now I'm tossing and turning in bed and trying to relax...but it's not happening too well! I used to be able to take aspirin or over-the-counter sleeping pills if I'd have trouble sleeping, but those aren't working, either!

Anyway...today is a new day! I'm going to continue to eat well...at some point, my body will respond to it!

curlsncuffs on 04/23/2003:
Hi Runner,

Stress, stress, stress, read about the affects of stress. That's what is sounds like to me. Could the result of the sleeplessness be Anxiety. Planning your food day is a good thing! I read about that in one of your journals. I did weight watchers for awhile and lost 70lbs on it. But, I planned everything. Do you eat breakfast? Do you keep a journal? Write down everything you eat (yes, even your "cheats") and then write why you ate it...i.e., candy bar - was bored standing in the grocery line - bought it - and ate it while I drove home. Write it all down - including your excersise. I find if I'm writing it down I can stay on track better. Try it for two weeks. You can do this. Tell me what a typical day of food is for you.

Breakfast = Lunch = Dinner =


I will help you anyway I can - if you want to be email buddies, we can. How does your husband feel about this? How does he feel about your weightloss efforts? How would he feel if you gained 25 lbs?

I will help anyway I can.

Hang in there. You can do it!

biscottibody59 on 04/23/2003:
It's seems the scale is quite possibly your worst enemy at the moment. Since you're going to a gym, do they offer body fat measurement by skin calipers? If not, start using a tape measure for awhile. Believe me, the scale can and has driven me just about nuts at times and it just IS NOT the best for your psyche sometimes.

You'll get through this, but you've got to be open to changing your strategy. Small changes or big ones. I've been there--feeling like I'm beating my head against a wall--you've got a long life ahead and everything changes!

Take care and keep up the good work!

Golightly on 04/23/2003:
Oh Runner, I know it's frustrating! I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 178! I KNOW I haven't eaten enough to gain 2 pounds in 2 days, but there it was. I'm hoping it goes back down in a few days.

It's funny you should talk about sleep and weight loss because I was speaking with D. at the office today about this topic. He has lost 50 pounds in the past few months. We were sharing diet stories and I asked him about his. He says the biggest change for him happened after he went to a sleep clinic! It seems he suffered from sleep apnea and kept waking up all night. He was told that lack of sleep affects your weight because (a) you are fatigued already and less likely to engage in physical activity and (b) that studies show that decreased REM activity leads to increased appetite! Doctors told D. that most people think that weight gain causes sleep problems, but in actuality it is often the reverse : sleep problems cause weight gain. The sleep clinic did a study where they graphed the weights of people with sleep problems. All of the subjects gained weight over the 3 year period!

Anyway, the sleep clinic has helped D. with his sleep problem and BOOM, the weight is falling off the guy. His appetite went down, he is eating less and he feels better because he's actually sleeping.

I wonder why you aren't sleeping? Is something stressing you out (other than your weight)??

Runner - Tuesday Apr 22, 2003

Weight: 119.0

Yuck, yuck, yuck. The scale put me at the highest weight I've been in a month. Why? Probably because I ate sooo much this weekend! I tried to be really careful, but food was being served every hour, it seemed like! On Sunday, we had cake and ice cream for lunch, Easter candy, cake for dinner, Oreo pie, and more ice cream that night!!! Even though I had modest servings, I still had some...that pressure, you know? I had such a hard time saying "no." And I've only slept 10 hours in the past two days...so I'm pretty worn out! I've still exercised like crazy, but I must have eaten an excess of calories. I'm a bit discouraged, since it took me three weeks to drop the extra couple of pounds and only 3 days to put them back on!!!!!!!!! Well, I'm back to my normal eating routines, now, so hopefully I won't continue to go up.

Golightly on 04/22/2003:
Hi Runner! Sounds like you had a very challenging weekend! Mine was the exact same. I ate so many sweets on Easter that I'm sure this week I will see the numbers on the scale rise. I regret the extra cookies I ate at dinner and the candy I indulged in. Family gatherings are so food oriented!!

Worse, indulging my sweet-tooth seems to have reactivated it! I am craving sugar like never before. It almost feels like I am starting this diet all over again from scratch!

I guess we are both feeling discouraged...

BingeOnThis on 04/22/2003:
Don't worry, you sound very determined to drop those extra pounds you picked up over the weekend. Probably part of it is water gain or something. Keep a positive attitude and be confident that you have total control over it. Now if only I can convince myself of that very same thing!

Gael the Whale on 04/22/2003:
it always comes off so slow and goes on so quick. wonder why that is. anyway you will overcome it again . hang in there.

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