- Tuesday Mar 18, 2003
Same weight, same story. (118 1/2) My goal today is to NOT have any ice cream before bedtime. When it's in the freezer, I feel like I have to eat it or something...weird, huh? But I'm really going to refrain tonight and have something healthier. I'll stay away from p.b., too, but I've had some jellybeans and 2 hershey's kisses today. I feel like I deserve some candy or something, even though I know that it's just empty calories. Do you think it's really possible to lose your taste for something? I wish I could lose my taste for sugary stuff!
I'm trying to eat a few more (healthy) calories at lunchtime so I don't feel like overdoing it after school. Today I had a whole piece of bread with turkey on it instead of just half a piece of bread.
- Monday Mar 17, 2003
I was at 118 1/2 today. I read somewhere that a pound or two fluctuation isn't anything to worry about, but when it starts to be three pounds more than average, then the weight is probably sticking. In January, I averaged around 116-117 pounds, so I know that I have put on some weight and it's not just water or something. But I'm still working to lose the extra 2 1/2 pounds and more importantly, stop bingeing on food.
Last night, I had some unbelievably good Edy's ice cream...I had bought the fat-free frozen yogurt for myself (which I really do love!) and had gotten the real chocolate-cake stuff for my husband, since he picked it out. Well, I wasn't content with my own low-cal brand, so I had to eat some of his, too! Before I knew it, I had consumed double the amount of calories that I'd had with a half cup of my frozen yogurt and at least 5 grams of saturated fat. But boy, did it taste good!
I need to really be careful, though, because it's sooo tempting, just sitting there in the freezer! I managed to stay away from peanut butter yesterday, thankfully. Baby steps, I guess!
- Friday Mar 14, 2003
WEll, even though the scale didn't budge, I feel better today. I went for a walk in the warmer weather last night after dinner, and I'm thankful spring is on the way! I really appreciate everyone's encouraging comments...I never feel better after I overdo it on food, and I want to learn to say "no" to those tempting desserts! I had four pieces of frosted angel food cake yesterday and threw away most of it after only a few bites...it was another silly waste of food when no one was looking, and I have no idea why I do that! It was after school when no one was around, and for some reason, I felt it was my responsibility to finish up the cake! One thing my nutritionist told me was that I should realize that the food that is here today will still be here tomorrow...I don't need to feel like I have to eat it today or I'll "lose my chance." That's a good thing for me to remember since I tend to think that I have to eat things NOW. I have a bridal shower this weekend for my sister...I know there will be lots of goodies around, but I'm praying for self-control.
- Thursday Mar 13, 2003
I think that I really lack self-control. Someone brought in peanut-butter/ chocolate fudge in the teachers' lounge, and I had two pieces. One was in front of the teachers at lunch, and one was when I snuck in there when no one was looking. I probably would have had more, but I ate the last piece. I'm writing about it because I want to avoid doing things like that, and making my secrets public is the first step, I think.
- Thursday Mar 13, 2003
Well, the scale says 119, and I feel it. It's amazing how I can feel the extra 4-5 pounds that I put on! Anyway...I did so well yesterday until I bought some dried mango and cantalope slices at the store...I love those things, but they are so full of sugar and calories, and I ate far too many of them! But I've stayed away from the candy and peanut butter, and that's a small accomplishment! I'm trying to vary my exercise routine somewhat, because I feel stuck in a rut there. Hope things look better tomorrow! I'm praying for a good day today.
- Wednesday Mar 12, 2003
My body is so weird. Now I'm down almost 3 pounds...at 118 1/2. Maybe it's because I really watched what I ate yesterday. I had healthy snacks and made a great low-fat dinner and felt much better about the way I ate. I just want to keep it up! I know that I'm going to crave my sweets and peanut butter, but I want to curb those cravings and not give in to them. I'm still heavier than I want to be, but at least I feel better than I did yesterday! Weight aside, I just want to do what's right for my body. I have a few new rules for myself: 1. Don't stand in the kitchen and eat. It's way to easy to snack, snack, snack when standing in front of the fridge or pantry.
2. Avoid eating in secret. Tell my husband when I'm snacking and what I'm eating.
3. Don't worry about the numbers on the scale too much. Just concentrate on keeping the calories to around 2000 and avoid overeating sweets or fatty foods.
- Tuesday Mar 11, 2003
I can't believe I'm up to 121...and especially after I visited the nutritionist yesterday! I was really hoping that I'd be under 120. I just cried and got angry this morning...how could I possibly put on 5 pounds in 3 days? Isn't that unheard of? I did have some peanut butter and snacks, but I didn't consume an extra 15,000 pounds...that's ridiculous! Has this ever happened to anyone else?
My meeting with the nutritionist was fine...although we didn't map out any practical steps or goals yet for me. We just didn't have time. But I'm meeting again with her in two weeks.
I've decided today to completely cut out sweets, desserts, candy, and peanut butter for awhile. I'm so tired of my clothes feeling tighter, and I'm tired of losing it around food. The weight is starting to stick for the first time in a looong time, and I just have to change my eating habits. I can no longer overdo it on the goodies.
- Monday Mar 10, 2003
FOUR POUNDS IN TWO DAYS! UNBELIEVABLE! I actually weight 4 pounds more than I did a mere 48 hours ago... How in the world do I put on weight that quickly? I really did eat too many goodies yesterday...but I had a big dessert Friday night and I was still at a low weight on Saturday! I was really hoping I'd never hit the 120 lb. mark...guess that was a lot of wishful thinking! I could really feel the extra four pounds this morning, too...it's amazing how much of a difference it makes. I'm seeing the nutritionist today. Finally! I have got to learn how to curb my cravings for sweets. I do so well until about 4pm..then I lose it. I'm pretty discouraged right now.
- Saturday Mar 08, 2003
I'm actually 116 1/2 pounds right now! I honestly don't know how...last night after the play, I had a major fudge brownie/ ice cream dessert really late at night...and a bunch of jelly beans! But I'm not going to argue with the scale! :) I really think the weight loss is due to less salt and water...I haven't really had time to cook like I usually do and I love to use salty seasonings. I'm really looking forward to seeing the nutritionist on Monday. I'm also hoping that now that the play is over, I can stop eating under stress...which is what I've been doing.
- Thursday Mar 06, 2003
Even though I've had to eat dinner so late at night, I'm down to 117 pounds! Probably just a loss of water weight, but encouraging nonetheless.
Tonight is the play! As a director, this is the first chance I'll have to really enjoy it and sit in the audience. I'm ready to go back to a more normal schedule, though.
Anyone have any info. about eating carbs late at night? I've heard recently that they're turned into sugar and can lead to excess weight gain. I try to eat a lot of protein, but snacks containing protein just don't seem to abound as much as snacks loaded with carbs.