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Runner - Tuesday Mar 04, 2003

Weight: 118.0

I'm so tired of eating dinner so late at night, but this is the week of the play, and I'm not getting home until after 7:00pm every night...and I do fine all day eating-wise, but after 11 hours of working, I'm ready to eat whatever looks good! Thankfully, my life will slow down quite a bit next week. I picked up a paczki this morning to celebrate Fat Tuesday and after a bite, I realized that I didn't really like it and didn't want it! What a revelation for a donut-lover!!! I ate the filling and threw the rest of it away. A small accomplishment for me! Those donuts aren't as good as the cake ones, so they're not very tempting.

Runner - Monday Mar 03, 2003

Weight: 118.0

Well, I had a great Saturday, but a bad Sunday. Yet I'm not going to live by those numbers on the scale...I know that I need to do what is right for my body and make good choices and not to worry if I'm "up one pound" and not to just relax if I'm "down one pound." What I DO need to work on is not eating too much when I'm stressed or out of boredom. Because that is NOT good for my body.

Last night, I ate too much before bedtime and literally felt sick for a couple of hours. Now that is an example of a misuse of food. I hated the feeling of being so full, and I want to have a good snack wihtout overdoing it.

I still have a week until my apt. with a nutritionist. I'm wondering if she'll be able to tell me what my metabolic rate is.

Runner - Saturday Mar 01, 2003

Weight: 117.0

Well, I'm at my usual Saturday weight...but it's still more than it was a month ago on Saturdays. (Why am I always lighter on this day??) Maybe I should only weigh myself on Saturdays!

We had a 4-hour rehearsal today for the play, and I should have passed up the licorice and goldfish crackers, but I didn't...and I probably consumed an extra 500 calories with all the snacks around. Now I'm feeling it in my bloated belly. Ugh.

Well, I'm ready for this play to be over with and the cold weather to break. I need a change.

Runner - Friday Feb 28, 2003

Weight: 118.0

I'm learning more and more how the numbers on the scale mean very little...somehow I'm down a pound and a half since yesterday, and I ate almost the same exact things all day long!! Strange. I just had a reduced-fat vanilla ice cream sundae for lunch, so I'm going to have to be careful the rest of the day...the ice cream wasn't the tempting part. It was all of the topping, especially marshmallow cream! I can eat that stuff by the spoonful! Has anyone ever heard of the Caveman diet? I was reading up on it, and wondering if it has any credibility...

Runner - Thursday Feb 27, 2003

Weight: 119.0

I had such a good day yesterday eating-wise. I didn't do the bingeing thing with any fattening foods, I watched my calories, and I enjoyed what I ate! So this morning at the gym, I wanted some encouragement and thought I'd weigh myself...I gained half a pound. I'm trying to figure out how that happened! If I cut my calories, why would I gain weight? Or is it too soon to tell? Could it be weight from salty foods? I had french-onion soup last night...I know there's a lot of sodium in that. I just ended up discouraged...I know I shouldn't have weighed myself, but I honestly don't know how my weight could be up when I've cut my calories by probably 500-600 since this weekend! I overdid it this weekend compared to now. Bummer.

pastagal on 02/27/2003:
As for the scales showing you have gained overnight,i wouldn't put much into that,their is all sorts of reasons that could of caused that ,salty foods,water weight,just don't focus on the numbers on the scales so much,so by how you feel and how you look,,:}

Runner - Wednesday Feb 26, 2003

Weight: 119.0

I have an apt. with a nutritionist in a week and a half who specializes in "weight and eating disorders." I'm really looking forward to talking with someone about this!

Runner - Wednesday Feb 26, 2003

Weight: 119.0

I took Tigger's advice and didn't weigh myself this morning. I guess it's a baby step in the right direction. I'm going to try to weigh myself only once or twice a week so I don't continue to live by those numbers. I'm also trying to cut my calories every day by about 300-500 calories. I know that I eat an excess of calories when I start snacking, so I just need to keep my snacks to a minimum of about 200 calories and not exceed that limit. I'm going to call the nutritionist today. I really appreciate the encouragement of others...thanks to those who write in response to my diary.

Runner - Tuesday Feb 25, 2003

Weight: 119.0

I was actually at 118 1/2 both yesterday and today, but I'm just going to say 119 since I'm not sure how to write "1/2" on the chart. My pants feel tight again today. I guess my weekend of celebrating birthdays and other events was too much to keep me at 117 lbs, although I don't feel like I really overdid anything. I guess my body is just getting used to the extra weight or something...I seem to have reached a plateau. Does anyone know anything about stress fat? I've been reading about it lately and how people who are stressed collect fat around their stomachs...which is exactly where I gain weight! I don't usually feel to stressed, but I have a really busy schedule at the moment and I can get easily anxious around food. I guess anxiety can trigger it, too. I don't want to blame my weight gain on something like stress, because I know it has to do with excess calories, but I'm just wondering if there is any truth to what I've read.

Tigger on 02/25/2003:
Hi Runner,

sorry I have not written for a while here. I wanted to say that I hope you are not beating yourself up too much about the doughnuts. The first step is realizing you have some issues with food. I have to give you a little reality check here. You can not weigh yourself everyday. You need to stop stepping on that scale everyday. It only adds to your anxiety and self-abuse. Also you have to get help. Yes, writing here and talking through your feelings is a great release, but NOTHING will change until you find some help from a professional who understands eating compulsions. You can not battle this alone, you need a teammate. I know that this sounds mean, but I have been where you are. I thought I could beat it on my own too, but many years later and a lot of health problems down the road I had to admit that I needed to see a psychiatrist. You can win against those doughnuts, but not alone. Hugs Sarah

Mazie Dazie on 02/25/2003:
Hi I have not read any article that has addressed extra weight brought on due to stress (if you could direct me to the article or book I would appreciate it). Usually, it is your response to stress that is correlated to weight gain. And of course that goes back to what your relationship to food is ie. used as comfort, filling a void, etc. Stress does cause an increased release of hormones and chemicals that will induce the body to hang onto calories...remember stress is a chronic gear of the fight or flight syndrome for your body. The body will do what it needs to perserve its energy to run or fight. Didn't mean for this to be so wordy...Think I meant most to say, that relieving stress is just overall healthy for your spirit and body, and recognizing if your treating the symptoms of stress with food or not. You have a great one. *Mazie

Runner - Saturday Feb 22, 2003

Weight: 117.0

There's something about Saturdays...I'm usually two pounds lighter when I weight myself! Isn't that strange? I'm not complaining, though! It sure was nice to see a change on the scale. I need to be careful the rest of this weekend, because I know that I'm going to be doing some baking. My husband's birthday is this Tuesday, and I'm going to be making a cake and a fancy dinner. I'm going to call a nutritionist next week...just to help me understand how many calories my body needs. I tend to think it needs more than it really does. Sometimes I eat when I'm not even hungry. Hope I have more good news to report on Monday!

prism on 02/22/2003:
Sounds like a great idea to see a nutritionist. Let us know how it goes.


Runner - Friday Feb 21, 2003

Weight: 119.0

By the way...thanks for your comment, PastaGal! I found it encouraging. I'm glad you're doing well...and that you took the time to write a note to me.

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