- Sunday Sep 08, 2002
(The Living Plan)
I believe that a sign of maturity is accepting deferred gratification. --Peggy Cahn
That says it all for me! I have been doing really good as far as not allowing myself to indulge in my usual binge eating. It's so sad to see my mother do this day after day. It reminds me of myself and also where the hell I got this behavior. Hell, I grew up drinking Tab and always thinking of how I too need to go on a diet. This of course started me on the sick behavioral path of self destruction by food! My mother just gets bigger by the day yet she's always on a diet or going on one. I can see her eating a whole bag of chips saying I'll eat good tomorrow! Now I just say yeah right and she says who knows maybe I'll surprise you. Damn, I wish she would surprise me. My brother is disgusted by her eating and many others notice too. It just makes me sad but it also is a wake up call to myself. I do not want to be 153 pounds again! I am barely 5'4" and have a small bone structure, so small that I can wear kids jewelry and even their glasses. My current weight makes people say that I look chunky, or soft as an ex use to call me. I am very happy to be under 130 again but would love to see 110 which is my ideal weight. I felt more energetic, more healthy, more happy. It has been at least 7 years since I have seen that weight. It is just 16 pounds away which would be easy for some but ever since I turned 30, seems impossible to attain. I remember the days of just eating normal would allow me to lose weight but it is quite a struggle now. I am now 32 and wishing I would have done something about it when it was easier, I know, the would of, should of, could ofs are not worth it! I am truly trying to live in moment and take it one day at a time but still am human, still get frustrated here and there. I guess, I am still a bit immature in this area, thus my quote.
- Saturday Aug 17, 2002
(The Living Plan)
Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it as it is, is the only way of being happy. --Jennie Jerome Churchill
I am turning 32 on August 27th! I think that I am finally getting more comfortable with my body. I am learning to be happy with what I have and any improvements, no matter how small, make it even better! I am also learning to eat like a normal person. I know that binge eating is an addiction and I have been trying to occupy myself with other projects. My life has revolved around food for way too long and enough is enough! I find that I lose weight slowly but surely by eating like a "normal person". All these years of trying everything under the sun has made me one unhappy lady and has just made me gain even more than I thought possible. I have been 105 all the way to 153 pounds! I am happy to say that I have not seen 140 again since I made my commitment this past December. I can take life as it is, and trust that it is just right, just what it needs to be. The big picture guarantees me lasting happiness. Today's experiences will move me a step closer.
- Saturday Jul 13, 2002
(The Living Plan)
I feel good and the weight is coming off slowly but surely.
I have not been on here for a while because I just don't like being on the computer every day but I do love coming here for inspiration and to see how everyone is doing.
I found that not making food and exercise a priority has actually helped me tremendously. I do other things so that my mind is not obsessing on these things. I call it my "Living Plan"! I will no longer let my world revolve around what I am going to be eating at lunch or counting calories, etc. I feel that these things are just making me sad and is a ruining the quality of my life. Don't get me wrong, I do have a sensible eating plan written and I do follow it, it's just that I am not so literal any more!
So, I am off to go be with my friends and family today!
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
- Sunday Jun 02, 2002
I have not been allowing myself to lose weight because of some mental hang up I have. I know that it is within me to do it but I can't seem to get back on track. Perhaps I am just not ready or perhaps I need to self-motivate! I am glad to see so many seeing results and for those that have not, I am glad to see that you have not given up! These things give me hope.
- Saturday Apr 13, 2002
I have arrived to the 120's!!!!! I have seen the 150's, 140's, 130's and now hopefully I can stay put in the 120's!!!!!! :0)
I have a slight hangover this morning. I "celebrated" my anniversary last night. Tonight we are going to the dinner theatre and I am really looking forward to it!!! I am going to try to stick to the salads and veges as much as possible. I may give myself a small portion of something bad because it is my anniversary dinner. I just want to make sure that this weekend and all of next week in Florida does not set me back!!!! I want to weigh at least the same this time next week, then I'll get going on lowering myself even more.
I hope everyone has a successful day!
The world is a wheel always turning. Those who are high go down low, and those who've been low go up higher. -Anzia Yezierska
The highs will pass away, just as will the lows. They visit us purposefully. I will give them their freedom and find mine as well.
- Thursday Apr 11, 2002
Last night my husband went to a Pizza place and I only ate the Greek salad! The pizza looked so good but I resisted. I did avoid T.V. until Sex and the City came on. My husband was watching the T.V. almost the whole night and he asked me what I was doing, it was very funny. I guess he wonders what on earth I could be doing if I am not watching the television. Well, I'm off to work.
I hope everyone has a successful day!
An element of recovery is learning that we deserve success, the good things that come to us, and also the pain is a reality. We have the strength to deal with that pain without medicating, and it will pass. -Dudley Marineau
I believe the above was meant for the alcoholic but hey, ours is but an addiction too!
- Wednesday Apr 10, 2002
I could not post this morning, very frustrating.
I was good today and now I am going to tend to things that I put off last night. I have not watched T.V. so far and I plan to keep myself busy! I need to go through all my summer clothes and see what fits for Florida. The low carb thing is working okay but I know that I can not stay on this forever. Being a vegetarian makes it hard for me to stay on a plan that's tailored to meat eaters. Today I had a vege stir fry and vege burger for lunch. Tonight I will probably make a cheese omlette. That's all for now. I hope everyone has a successful day!
Even though I can't solve your problems, I will be there as your sounding board whenever you need me. -Sandra K. Lamberson
- Tuesday Apr 09, 2002
I hope everyone is having a successful day!
I was good today and I feel like the scale is gonna say something different real soon! ;)
I don't have much to say today. I have a lot of things I need to take care of. I want to thank everyone for their love and support. I wish I could reciprocate but I can't stay on here too long tonight.
Life is a patchwork-here and there, scraps of pleasure and despair. Joined together, hit or miss. -Anne Bronaugh
Today, well lived, will prepare me for both the pleasure and the pain of tomorrow.
- Monday Apr 08, 2002
I did not stay on my diet this weekend. It all started when I started feeling like I was going to pass out!! Yes, I felt horrible again. I just gave in to eating the food that was there and promised myself I would be good for this week. I do have my anniversary dinner/show this weekend so I will be as good as I possibly can there. I am flying out to see my dad Monday so I will be gone all of next week. I will do my best to eat good there but will not be to strict as it may be the last visit with him for a long time and I do not want to worry myself with all the little details. I want to take him out to eat, walk on the beach, go to the attractions and to generally enjoy my time there with him. Today I had vege burgers w/hot mustard and greek salad(so big that I had some for lunch and then dinner!). I am tired and need to take of things that I did not get a chance to while I was away so exercise is not going to happen tonight. I hope everyone has a wonderful evening!
It is only when people begin to shake loose from their preconceptions, from the ideas that have dominated them, that we begin to receive a sense of opening, a sense of vision. -Barbara Ward
Each day is a new beginning. Each moment is a new opportunity to let go of all that has trapped me in the past. I am free. In the present, I am free.
- Friday Apr 05, 2002
This is my last entry for a couple of days. I want to thank everyone for the comments!!! It really makes me feel good to get all of this love, support and prayers for my dad. Thank you!!!!!! :0)I wish I could reciprocate but I need to get to work, pack tonight and leave for my mom's.
Everyone at my job is on the low carb diet and many have seen results this week! One woman has been doing the weight watchers for over three months and has lost only 8 lbs, she started the low carb and already dropped over a 1 1/2 in this past week. I am not advocating what is right but I am sure going to give this low carb thing a try! It's already been 4 days and I attribute my recent loss to it!
I hope everyone has a successful weekend!!!
I came to the conclusion then that "continual mindfulness"...must mean, not a sergeant-major-like drilling of thoughts, but a continual readiness to look and readiness to accept whatever came. -Joanna Field
The most important lesson I have to learn, the lesson that will eliminate all of pain and struggles, is to receive fully that which is offered in each moment of my life.