- Tuesday Nov 21, 2006
Hey, Day 2, I made it to Day 2!! Well, at least I'm up already, got up at 6:55 and walked for 2 miles on the treadmill. I'm not saying Day 1 was perfect but I guess I'm just like a toddler learning to walk, I did a couple steps but haven't made it clear across the room yet. Had some stumbles. Did my shopping so at least I wasn't sitting on my butt all day. Had brekky at 9 yesterday with Regis and Kelley and left here at 11. By noon I was hungry, I mean real hunger. By the time I got home at 2, I was ready to eat my arm off. So you could say lunch was out of control, lol. Although I could have eaten more but I did stop myself before the nauseous stage so that's progress. I know I had more witty things to say that I thought of when I was walking, but just can't think of them now, dernit, senior moment!! Nothing, my mind is blank! Okay, you all have a great day. I really need to get in here and read entries, I'm missing out on all the fun, lol. Love you guys!
- Monday Nov 20, 2006
Day One #2,713!! And I got up and walked 2 miles on my treadmill! Deja Vu!! Here we go again. I think I've learned some things since last week though, maybe. Hard to believe, after all these years, there are still things to learn about myself and this journey. Oh, and I did the 2 miles in 38:20, in case anyone's interested. No records broken there but I did it. Go, me. Thank you all for the comments from yesterday's entry, you too, Scruff, even though you are a man (just kidding) and I know you are all so right. In my head, I know that. Sometimes I just like to let things he says like that fester awhile. Then I get over it. I'll do like you say, BTC, and ask him that next time he's watching sports, lol. And thanks for saying that pic made me look hot, did you mean literally? Lol. You're so sweet for saying that. Okay, WorkingIt, one of those 2 muffins didn't make it to this morning, I ate it last night. It was talking to me all night too. One more to go. I think I will save it for a treat this afternoon and then, THAT'S IT, NO MORE. I've just got to get my groove back! Here's the plan for today---shower, brekky, go to the Goodwill store (you really should try it, I've found some really good things there and bargains) go to Super WalMart and then the grocery. I'm in charge of the mashed potatoes for Thursday and I'm buying the ready-made ones. We had them last year and everyone loved them and so easy to make, lol! Gotta love that! I'm planning on making sweet potatoes too, my DH loves them. With the little marshmallows. So it should be a busy day today. Go out and have a great Monday!
- Sunday Nov 19, 2006
Men! Don't get me started! Well, okay, the other day, I was watching the Dr. Phil that I'd taped the other day, you know, the one with the 2 anorexics. Talk about skinny! But I digress. DH was getting ready to go someplace (what's new, you can tell by my weight just how much he's been gone lately but I know, it's not his fault, it's mine, but I digress again) and as he went out the garage door from the kitchen to get something, I barely heard him say "Have you picked up any pointers?" I thought maybe I hadn't heard him correctly so gave him another chance and asked "What did you say" and the dumb#$* repeated it!! Well, I couldn't let him see how that affected me (problem here??) so I turned around and went back in the house. And thinking "I'll show him, I'll not eat anymore, I'll get so skinny he won't even be able to see me" you know, the usual things, lol! It's been on my mind ever since. Geez, could I really just eat 2 teaspoons of fiber cereal for brekky/lunch and whatever the small thing was she had for dinner (can't remember, see, I guess I forgot some of the "pointers", heh)? But seriously, I know I couldn't do that, heck, I'd get so hungry, I'd go off the deep end in a bag of chips and a bucket of ice cream for sure! (been there, done that!) The question is, could someone I love really hurt me this much? In the back of my mind, I know he didn't really mean anything (you laugh) but then I have gotten exceptionally rounder lately. You know, that thing Dr. Phil says keeps going through my head lately too "You teach people how to treat you" but after 38 years, how do you change that? Dr. Phiiiiil, where are you when I need you (whine)? Well, such is my life and now I've let you all have a small glimpse into it. Tune in for more tomorrow, lol. Hey, I don't want you to think my DH is a mean and cruel person, everyone loves him, he's a true saint, always helping other people. But he's like an old guy living in the '50's, you know, kinda like Archie Bunker. I think he missed the sexual revolution and women's lib, but that's another story for another day (don't worry, I won't go there??) Okay, that's enough rambling from the crazy lady, let's get down to business. I just ate my second muffin for the day!! I know, not doing so well. How did that 4 pack of muffins get in my cart this morning? And I made Cincinnati chili (Hi,BTC) this afternoon too, with spaghetti, grated cheese and those tiny little crackers too. And lots of leftovers. I know, put them in the freezer and I can't eat them hard (don't put it past me, heh) Okay, Maria, I'm going to try more prayer, I really need God's help in this. If this comes out sounding like I jest, be totally sure, I am deadly serious! I know prayer works (another story for another time)!! Okay, I'm trying not to get on the scale until I know for sure there is some drastic change. I'll let you know when that may happen. Nothing yet, lol. (big surprise) Man, I feel goofy today, sorry, must be the sugar high. Okay, I'll try to do better the rest of the day (it's 5pm) and tomorrow too. I really suck at this. I'm alone again too, DH went to BIL's to watch the Dallas game. I know, no excuse, I should have gotten on the treadmill. That's tomorrow morning's plan for sure. But what am I going to do with the other 2 muffins in my bedroom (don't look so shocked, I know you've all hidden food in your lifetime!)? I know, you're saying "put them in the trash" and I'll try but I'll have to hide them in the bottom somehow, so tedious, so much easier to eat them. Well, here I am again, letting too much of myself out there. Please be kind. I'm going now. Happy health to you all. One of these days I'll get here and do some checking up, I know that always helps me so I'll make a point of it. Ta-ta!
- Saturday Nov 18, 2006
Hello, hello!! Thank you, thank you, thank you to hollybelle, mattscat, maria777, and especially you, Workingit!! I appreciate your time and consideration! But, hey, back the truck up, lol! I didn't mean that I was throwing everything out the window!! I just meant that I was tired of counting points, the regimin and obsession of it all! I'm trying to watch my diet and make good decisions. But, BUT, I am not on a "diet", as we all are fond of saying. I'm just going to live, well, "normally", whatever that may mean. For me, it means I'm going to relax, well, maybe that's not the word. I don't know, hard to express what I mean. I'm 57!! years old and I feel like I've been doing this all my freaking life and I'M TIRED OF IT!! It doesn't work for me! I know all about what is good for you to eat, what I shouldn't eat, how I should be exercising and all that! I just want to take it one minute at a time and do what I can. All the rest hasn't worked for me in the long term. Maybe this is just temporary, I don't know, I just feel like I need to change my life. 'bout time, huh? Oh, I need to add, it's funny? but that day I last wrote and bared all, that night I watched the new "Medium" (did any of you see that?) her boss had diabetes and didn't know it, hadn't seen a doctor, and he woke up blind!!! It was just temporary and his blood sugar levels were sky high so once he got them under control, his sight came back. Anyway, I took that show as a sort of wake-up call, as if I really needed one. I mean, I KNOW all this stuff. But I just felt like it was a little personal message from God? just to me and, believe me, it did make a difference in how I saw things! Sugar is my drug of choice and I need to get it right out of my life! Right now! I'm trying but you know, what Workingit said made sense to me. I am under the sugar's control right now, the more I eat it, the more I am not really myself. If I can just get through a few days without it, I know I will change how I feel. Right now, right now, today, this minute, I WILL do this, get it out of my life. That is my challenge, that is my goal. Seems so stupid, so easy, to just do this, right? But it feels so good knowing I have my friends here behind me, if no one else in my "real" life. Thank you! I hope this all makes some sense. I feel kind of erratic in my thinking. See ya tomorrow!
- Wednesday Nov 15, 2006
Weight unknown. Probably worse than yesterday. Eating not good. Mom still in hospital. Doing tests. She's not feeling too badly though now. Morphine, heh. They have her on a clear liquid diet. Hey, that's what I need! Lol Wish I could do that just one day, know I can't. I did a lot of thinking last night. DH was staying at Mom's house to take care of Sis and BIL's dog that Mom was taking care of while they are in N. Carolina, Duke University, for some surgery on BIL's skull for infection, but that's another story. Anyway, all alone, lots of thinking about me, type 2 diabetes, my eating, my aches and pains, what I'm doing to my body with eating wrong. Anyways....I'm going to do better, I swear. "I" have to do it, no one else can, I can't just put it out of my mind and expect to live a long, healthy life. I'm afraid I've already caused some damage from the diabetes and the sugar I've been eating, too many carbs, such as that (Hi, Geevee) So long story short, I've scared myself into doing better. But sometimes, in the light of day, things don't seem so bad and I fool myself into thinking I can get away with it. This has to end! But I'm going to try something new, staying off the scale, not counting points (been there, done that!) just trying to eat right, the things I know I should be eating, doing as much exercise as I can but not obsessing about it. What do you think? This morning I ate 2 eggs, scrambled, with 3 lf sausage links and green tea, no bread. (7 points, it's just such a habit now) I know I can't keep eating eggs every day and I'm not crazy about the egg substitutes so give me some suggestions for brekky, okay? What can I eat? Maybe the instant oatmeal only without the usual 2 slices of toast I usually have? Not putting the honey in my tea either anymore. Anyway that's just part of the thinking I was doing last night. I've never been able to understand people who have an addiction (go figure) cigarettes, drugs, way overeating, weighing hundreds of pounds. I never could understand how people could harm themselves this way so willingly. HUH?? Here I've been doing the same thing to myself, refusing to admit that I have a problem, I am diabetic (okay, type 2 diabetes, not the type 1, but still unhealthy and dangerous) I am just as bad? what would you call it? as they are!! Okay, I'm going to need lots of help--from my friends here, of course. I went to the library and checked out the Diabetes books again, going to read about what I SHOULD be doing, help with the diet, all that. Here goes. Let's hope Soonie has finally woken up and seen the light. Or she may not be around much longer or have to live her life blind, without her legs, as a stroke victim or heart disease. Diabetes can affect so many things with the body. If it's not kept under control. I'm sure when I go to the doc and have the tests done again, the numbers will be dangerously up. Must do that soon. She may even want to put me on insulin this time. Okay, hope I haven't bored you all too much today. Hope you all don't think I'm really soooo stupid, I know I have been! Thanks.
Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
- Tuesday Nov 14, 2006
Was woken up this morning at 6:15 by my Mom calling to ask me to take her to the ER. Got her there by 6:45, she was having terrible stomach pain all night and waited till then to call me. They're doing the usual tests and after an hour and a half, I left to go home at her insistence. Now it's 2pm and she still doesn't know what's going on. Of course, the morphine they gave her helped with the pain. So I'm just waiting to hear if I need to go get her or if they're going to keep her. Oops, phone just rang, they're going to keep her, although, I couldn't get details, the phone she was on had static, wouldn't you know. So she'll call me when she gets in a room. Whooee, what a day! I've just been waiting around, not really doing anything. Except I had McD's for brekky this morning!! After I left the hospital, it was just natural to stop for brekky, go figure! Comfort food! No excuses though, I'm baaaaad! So far this whole diet thing isn't going well at all. Sometimes I think I'm just supposed to stay this way and live a short life, although 57 and a half years isn't exactly short. Whatever! Well, just thought I'd check in, let you know what's going on. Love the comments, you're all so supportive, no matter how much I screw up! Name should be "Never2BThin", it's been such a loooong time here! Like I said, WHATEVER!! Later....
Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
- Monday Nov 13, 2006
Well, the weight seems to be going the wrong way! Since it's Monday, I hereby proclaim it DAY 1---AGAIN!! I finally got up at a decent time and did half an hour on my treadmill. I don't think I've done that in at least a month! No speed records broken or anything and I didn't want to wear myself out the first day. So it's a beginning anyway. Now I'm tired. See ya tomorrow!
Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!
- Sunday Nov 12, 2006
Hi, gang! Was down to 162.6 yesterday, 163 the day before. Bouncing! Still not eating right. No exercise. I still feel tired, kinda like I'm getting over something, all worn out. At least the cruise gain is gone. I may just have to force myself to exercise tomorrow, get up early and stop sleeping half the day away. Didn't get out of bed until about 10:30 this morning. Going to bed at about 9pm. Too much sleep. Forgot to tell you, the day we left for the airport, we were almost there, the car loaded with Mom and I, Sis and BIL, DH driving. BIL says, hey, where's the backpack with the tickets? We all looked around, they had forgotten it, DH turned around, we thought we'd never be able to drive all the way back and still make it in time to catch the plane. Called the travel agent who was going on the cruise too to let her know what happened, they weren't at the airport yet either, DH drove 80mph all the way back to Sis and BIL's house and back again to the airport, record time, half an hour before the plane leaves, and the travel agent and her husband right behind us!! I think all the prayer helped. And DH's great driving skills, lol. Good thing we'd left plenty early the first trip. Okay, I'm tired. Just wanted to check in. I so want to get caught up with you all. I miss you. Finally caught up with all the TV shows I'd taped while gone. Couldn't stand to miss Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy, among others. Heroes, Lost, The Nine. Too many. I'm such a couch potato! Okay, here's to a better start tomorrow. Have a great Monday!
Progress as of today: 0.6 lbs lost so far, only 23.2 lbs to go!
- Thursday Nov 09, 2006
Woohoo! Can we say "water weight"?! And I didn't eat dinner yesterday. I thought I may have had the flu but feel okay today. I felt sick and had chills all evening yesterday, still not 100% today but better. Just the thing to get rid of some of that dreadful weight. I still don't feel hungry and just had a small bowl of oatmeal for brekky. It's just past noon now. I was so tired yesterday and slept most of this morning. Got up at 11:30 and had a nice shower. So here I am, still feeling queasy. So I will take it easy today. Didn't go bowling with the gang this morning so DH went without me. Well, that's it for me. Maybe I'll get back into the exercise tomorrow if I feel better. You all have a great Thursday!
Progress as of today: -0.8 lbs lost so far, only 24.6 lbs to go!
- Wednesday Nov 08, 2006
Okay, this is not fun! Still gaining. It's so hard to get back on plan. This is my highest weight in about 8 years I think. I'm trying not to panic. I'll try to do better today. It's just that after all that free eating, I'm hungry all the time. And no exercise yet either. My right knee is giving me trouble too. Probably because of the extra weight it's not used to. I'm vowing to not reach the 170's. And I hate the 160's. So best I get going with this weightloss. I haven't had time yet to get caught up with you all. I still have taped TV shows to watch. I only taped the ones that are continued each week so I wouldn't miss out on what's happening. Didn't tape my soap though. I figure not much happens there in a week's time. Okay, you all have a great day and I can't wait to get caught up, maybe later this week. See ya tomorrow.
Progress as of today: -4 lbs lost so far, only 27.8 lbs to go!